I feel like Beau Jordan is someone I’ve been getting off to for years, but honestly, I only discovered him a few months ago. My favorite frustrated jobber, Drake Marcos, texted me a pic of him getting choked out by this naked, adorably dimple-cheeked, handsome hunk. After admiring how hot it is watching Drake in full-blown panic getting thrashed, I asked him, “Who’s the handsome dude putting you out?” Drake sent me a link to Beau’s social media, and my infatuation with Beau’s gorgeous body, his Glen Powell smirk, and his scimitar monster cock was born.

There’s just something familiar about him, as he flexes in the ring like he owns the place. Before his match with Drake, Beau talks trash in this unhurried, unselfconscious way that’s sexy as fuck. He’s wondering if that “jobber boy Drake is even going to show. I knew he was scared.” And fuck, looking at that bod on Beau, maybe Drake should be.

But this is Drake 2.0, determined to shrug off the mantle of the hottest jobber in the business. So, Drake charges the ring from behind, laughing like a comic book villain as the hot new hunk thrashes in his sleeper. It’s a long, slow milking that drags Beau down, his hot muscled arms flailing uselessly. Seriously, in under 3 minutes, Drake has put the hot jock out cold, stripped Beau naked, and groped the unconscious hunk like sizing up a fresh cut of sirloin.

I know I’ve mentioned before how much I LOVE a heel turn, and there’s no one’s heel turn that I’ve anticipated longer than Drake’s. Watching him own hardbodied Beau is such a vicarious bullied boy’s revenge fantasy, the handsome, skinny kid tormented in the past by the cocky hot jocks, now all grown up and unpacking some seriously hot baggage. Honestly, though, I’m yelling at the screen when Drake is claiming his trophy (Beau’s singlet) and ready to climb out of the ring when this match has literally just gotten started. Failing to take full advantage of that defenseless, rocking bod on Beau and milk that beautifully curved slice of meat hanging from the hot jock’s crotch is fucking criminal. Even I’m over here thinking Drake needs to be punished for this erotic wrestling party foul.

Happily for me (and you… and Beau… and, let’s face it, Drake), Beau rouses just in time to gather his wits and intercept Drake before my buddy has a chance to flee the scene. “Is that what you want, Drake Marcos,” Beau demands, smothering Drake with his singlet. “You want to smell that?” We never hear Drake reply, but as an old friend, let me be so bold as to answer for him: yes, yes, he wants that very much. Just like he’s not exactly hating it when Beau’s mounted in a schoolboy pin and dick whipping his face.

The real magic here is watching Beau’ beast grow before our eyes. There’s no cut scene, no fancy camera work. We just get to watch this gorgeous hunk, who clearly gets off on the same things that you and I do, get hard and hungry. And FUCK, that cock is mouthwatering. There’s some obvious honesty in marketing right there, because there’s just no faking the story Beau’s ferocious beast is telling us.

The remainder of this 32 minute match is all for the other side of that hot fantasy equation. This part of the story is for those are hungry to see a hot, cocky jock humiliate and absolutely own a paper tiger opponent. Beau snorts and rolls his eyes at Drake’s futile attempt to win an arm wrestling diversion mid-thrashing. “This would be funny, if it wasn’t so pathetic, little jobber boy,” he sneers. He challenge Drake to a full nelson contest and let’s the would-be heel go first. And fuck, watching Beau’s naked hotness stretched out and thrown around a bit is intoxicating, but it’s all just to add to the total humiliation when he effortlessly flexes free and makes Drake pass out in his full nelson moments later. What was I saying earlier about dying to see Drake heel? It’s all hazy to me now. All I can remember is Beau’s gorgeously fit naked hotness totally picking Drake apart and then flexing in victory over top of my vanquished Sisyphus of a friend.

But wait, that was just act 1. Act 2 picks up right there, when Rocko Mortis storms into the ring. “Beau FUCKING Jordan, what the fuck did you do to my boyfriend!?” Fuck, Beau’s gotta pitch a double-hitter, and Rocko seriously looks pissed. Rocko shoves an assless singlet at Beau and demands that the hot jock put it on and wrestle him. For the record, let me quickly just state that Beau’s magnificent ass will ALWAYS belong in an assless singlet. Like, FUCK, where in the fuck did that body come from!? But let me do my best to hold onto the thread of this epic story arc and say that whereas act 1 was a squash, act 2 is delightfully back-and forth.

There’s that hot jock bully vibe that continually blows the headwinds in Rocko’s face as he tries to tangle with Beau. Six minutes into their match, Beau has planted that magnificently bare ass of his on Rocko’s face and uses it to smother him into a limp dish rag. With casual, cocky grace, Beau spladles Rocko’s legs apart and helps himself to ring out screaming pain from the bearded avenger. And no shit, Beau’s monster cock will NOT be contained in the low-slung fashion singlet. I’m literally applauding the beast’s entrance to the scene when it comes out to play with a mind of its own.

Trading ball claws leaves Beau rocked by vicious Rocko, and at almost exactly 13 minutes into this 37 minute marathon (not quite 2/3rds of the way through the Beau’s iron man double hitter performance in both matches), Beau loses his singlet again. Fuck, this man should always wrestle naked! Again, it’s a back-and-forth battle, with both vicious low-blowers fighting mean. And speaking of blowing, it’s a fucking work of art when Beau’s got Rocko’s hands pinned over head in another schoolboy and he force-feeds the frustrated BF that curveball beast of his.

Honestly, I don’t blame Rocko one bit for how the tide turns once they’re both naked. It’s really a totally unfair handicap match, with Rocko doing his best to handle both Beau’s gorgeous muscles and that monster cock that, I swear, has a mind of its own. Flat on his back in another schoolboy pin, Rocko dials in Cleveland on Beau’s tasty nips, totally putting the hot jock over the edge and deserving the cum load that ends up painting face.

Fuck, fuck, AND fuck, this is scorching hot. And, again, I have to say I feel like I’ve been watching Beau work this N.E.W.T. level wizardry for years. He’s got an understated charisma that’s just so fucking at home in a full-on erotic wrestling match like this. I’m still stubbornly clinging to the fantasy of a bullied-boy heel-turn getting revenge on the high school quarterback, but no shit, if that all-grown-up hot jock quarterback is Beau, I will be seriously satisfied any way it plays out (as long as his cock slithers free and comes out to play). These days, my morning can’t really start until I’ve watched Beau flex and stroke himself in his daily singlet fashion show at BlueSky, and I am aching (ACHING) to get a ticket to see him at WrestleFestNYC this February, tag teaming with Mason Brooks and taking on Rocko again along with another fiercely hungry infatuation of mine, Mickey Knoxx in tag team match. Check out Beau’s swoonworthy videos on WatchFighters, and if you see me ringside at WrestleFest, I will beat you into the back row if you block my view!