Rusty Stevens – Sidelineland

Crush

August 21, 2023 wrestlebard10 Comments

If you’ve read ANY posts prior to this one, it will come as no surprise when I say that I’m prone to crushes. In no small way, the past 1,683 posts document in excessive detail (I admit) hundreds of moments of my infatuation. They all rotate around the gravitational pull of erotic wrestling for me, of course. Whether I’m crushing on erotic wrestlers, pro wrestlers, or amateur wrestlers, or imagining erotic wrestling between hot actors, models, bodybuilders, or people I spy in my everyday life, my crushes are varied and, simultaneously, singular. I’ve been asked several times recently about my original motivation and approach to starting this blog. Honestly, it took a while for me to spiral in on the heart of what it has become, but at this point, I think of that heart as being about the wrestling crushes that linger, that I feel compelled to explore here. It’s the reason why when, occasionally, someone critiques or complains about what I’ve written about, that it sort of takes me by surprise. This is me, reflecting “out loud” on where my lustful eye lands. I’m thrilled when my reflections intersect with or provoke reflections in others, but honestly, it’s all about me. I swear, I don’t walk through my life prattling on and on about what/who turns me on, but here… yeah. If you’re looking for other content, I’m sure you can find it elsewhere.

Most of what I write about has been wrestling-for-gay-eyes. It’s not always “gay wrestling,” and definitely not always erotic wrestling, but most of my attention settles on the industry that has grown up marketing to guys like me. For about half of the life of the blog, I was maintaining running tallies of my current favorite homoerotic wrestlers, picking out my lasting crushes and my instant infatuations among the new releases from the likes of BG East, Can-Am, Naked Kombat, and the half a dozen more companies that have sprouted from the fertile soil of the early innovators and entrepreneurs. Starting the “discipline” of keeping track of who my favorite wrestler was at any one time, and combing through the new releases each month to highlight one hunk who grabbed me by the balls hardest, probably deserves a lot of the credit for the overall vibe of what I think I’m using this blog for. Like, when I picked Mitch Colby in May of 2009 to be my inaugural reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, it’s not that I expected him to be everyone’s favorite. I wasn’t proscribing Mitch as somehow independently verifiable as superior to anyone else by any metric other than for being the stunning, 6’2, 200 pound marble statue of Adonis that I couldn’t get my mind off of at the time. When, over the years, commenters have quibble about a choice I’ve made for my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, I would always delight in comparing notes, but… no, the choice was never “wrong,” because it was always about who turned me on (and, yeah, I’m THE expert in that, if nothing else!).

Me wrestling TxWresl at Wrestlefest Canada

As I’ve documented here, over the past few months I’ve enjoyed exploring meet-up wrestling for the first time. It’s been an interesting evolution from long-time homoerotic wrestling fanatic to rookie homoerotic wrestler. Well, it’s not like I’ve evolved out of being a fanatic. I continue to nurse my infatuations over the wrestlers that show up regularly on my screens in new releases and classic favorites. I’m both a seasoned, long-time aficionado and a very fresh and untested rookie at the same time. But both in the (over)abundance of what I’ve learned about the pleasure I get from watching homoerotic wrestling, and in my nascent understanding of what I enjoy about participating in homoerotic wrestling myself, my natural inclinations remain the same. The holds and the heat, the range of bodies and builds, the necessary chemistry and vibe are close to the same in turning me on watching or wrestling.

I’ve enjoyed all of my wrestling experiences so far, and I know that I shouldn’t take that for granted. Friends have shared with me stories of meet-ups that have not gone well, or just been downright bad. I haven’t had a match that I regret, or a bad experience with any of my opponents. And, to one extent or another, I develop mini-infatuations on all of them. What is intense and hot and enjoyable is both varied, and singular, as it has been with what I enjoy about watching good homoerotic wrestling. My most recent two matches definitely linger. In my downtime, I find myself wandering to them repeatedly, crushing on a hold, a look, a feel. Maybe these last two matches continue to linger because, well, they’re my most recent two. Or, maybe, it’s because they were both rematches, of a sort. Maybe the heat lingers because, a second (or more) time around with a wrestler, the intensity is jump started by familiarity? Of course, one of the two is Scott Williams, who has been entirely successfully translated from my homoerotic wrestling-watching crush into a homoerotic wrestling opponent crush. This surprises me not in the least, although it still tickles me that Scott is apparently having enough fun with his #1 fan to stubbornly keep coming back for more. He’s been starring in the masturbation reel in my mind for years, and he continues to be hot as hell. So, of course, my mind wanders back to our last match a couple of weeks ago, giving me a little uncomfortable pressure in my pants at inopportune times (no complaints from me, though).

SeattleFight making me wonder whose camel clutch is most punishing, Scott’s or his

The other intrusive, pleasurable memories that my mind’s eye keeps settling on feature the last opponent I wrestled in Toronto three weeks ago. I wrote then about the instant, magnetic impact SeattleFight had on me over and over at WrestleFest. Again, there are some obvious elements that go a long way to explaining why I experienced an instant crush on SeattleFight. He’s handsome and armored in gorgeous (and super functional) muscle. He’s unselfconsciously intense as fuck when he’s wrestling. Maybe less obvious, I also keep returning to my memories of him catching my eye, in groups, at the bar, in a random encounter in a shop on Church Street, and repeatedly experiencing this electric spark. When we’ve exchanged messages since, my heart skips just a little with excitement to see something from him. Yep, that’s me crushing.

When I’ve blogged about my favorite wrestlers featured in homoerotic wrestling products, I’ve routinely pitted contending crushes against one another, if only in my imagination. In my imagination, I’m doing it all the fucking time, picturing what would a match look like between two stunning hunks that, separately, I can’t get my mind off of. For example, in 2010, I was vacillating back and forth, almost month by month, between Mitch Colby and Rusty Stevens as my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler. Both of them in their best shape, selling each of their distinctive attitudes and styles, classic babyface and pitch-perfect heel, gave me whiplash turning back and forth between their new releases, trying to decide which of them gets the penthouse suite living rent free in my head. I mused on the pages of this blog that what I really needed to see was the two of them settling the question by wrestling against each other. My faith in the existence of the homoerotic gods was cemented when less than a year later, BG East released their one and only match featuring Rusty… taking on Mitch. Fuuuck. I still manage to both melt and get hard at the same time just thinking about it.

When it comes to my lingering wrestling crushes on Scott and SeattleFight, it turns out they have wrestled each other in the past. Fuck, to be a fly on that wall! I haven’t heard too many details about their encounter. I realize not everyone has their inner monologue on public broadcast at all times quite like I do, so I’m not sure how polite it is for me to ask for details. But, fuck. I think seeing them, firsthand, square off against one another would make that divine moment of watching Mitch and Rusty wrestle in The Breaking Point pale by homoerotic comparison. One thing I’ve learned in my early experiences with meet-up wrestling is that just getting two interested wrestlers in the same place at the same time is more than half the challenge. So, I can’t imagine the luck and coordinated effort it would require to get all three of us in the same place. But, if Scott and SeattleFight ever have the rematch that the homoerotic wrestling gods WANT to happen (no, no, I’m not projecting…), and I’m within a days drive, holy FUCK I’d better get a front row seat! Hell, I’ll buy refs stripes and a whistle and be closer than the front row. Fuck, I’ll wear trunks underneath, just in case.

And now… that’s the image that’s going to live rent free in the penthouse apartment in my head.

Scott Williams’ Twink Demolition

May 29, 2020May 27, 2020 wrestlebard6 Comments

At any one time, I’m typically nursing a throbbing crush on around half a dozen wrestlers. All it takes is a glimpse of one of them, and my heart pounds and my cock grows hard. It’s a rotating stock of sexy studs commanding my infatuation, but there are just a few wrestlers who show up on my shortlist and stick around long and hard.

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One of the first homoerotic wrestlers to instantly be elevated to crush status is BG East’s Scott Williams. I’ve written about my infatuation with Scott in the past, so I’ll just point out that if I were stranded on desert island and could only have 3 hunks with me for an endless round-robin of homoerotic wrestling, Scott is now, and almost always is, on that island.

1319_lg — Rusty Stevens & Mitch Colby in Breaking Point

My homoerotic wrestling imagination has really been the theme of this blog for over 10 years. My musings have flitted from pro wrestlers, to wrestling-for-gay, to Hollywood hunks and beefcake journalists I’d like to see wrestle. But the real subject is always how my erotic imagination possesses my thoughts and inspires my cock. It’s just a thought-exercise that you’re invited to join me along, exploring my homoerotic wrestling fantasies that, for the most part, are solely playing out in my mind’s eye. But then again, there was that time I obsessed relentlessly for months about my fierce ambivalence between settling on Mitch Colby or Rusty Stevens as my reigning favorite wrestler, only to discover Kid Leopard had made my fantasy come true by pitting them against one another in The Breaking Point: The Sexiest.

I’ll keep nursing my regression to magical thinking and silently hope that I, just wishing it and naming it out loud, can make a fantasy match-up come true. I have some fantasy matches in mind, but I want to carve out what I intend to be a recurring series here, namely picturing tasty twinks for man-of-my-dreams Scott Williams to devour.

Scott has commented in the pages of this blog that he likes getting his hands on new crops of young wrestling twinks. That acknowledgment alone sent me pouring through the catalogs of new releases to decide who it is Scott should get his hands on first, at least in my imagination. For the record, Scott has not endorsed this series, nor has he approved any of the opponents I have in mind for him. If Scott wants a rewrite, or even a retraction, of absolutely anything I write about him, I’m his to command. Like, literally, Scott. Anything I can do for you, let me know.

The first twink I’m picturing that Scott should demolish is stunningly pretty, doe-eyed sexy boy, winner of the Debut of the Year of 2018, Kenny Starr. Just sizing the two of them up turns me on, because numbers are sexy. At 6’2″ and 190 pounds, Scott would tower over little Kenny, who stands at 5’9″ and 175 pounds. Kenny wears a playful smirk on his boyish face at the start of every match, like he’s just here for the fun and games and the free drinks and ready sex that come with being a young, ripped, erotic wrestling starr.

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So just picture Scott squaring off against Kenny in the BG East matroom, Kenny grinning and chuckling about “beating up grandpa,” and Scott staring back, deadly serious. Fuck, I love Scott’s game face. Glaring almost half a foot down at Kenny, his stone cold, humorless stare would visibly unnerve the cocky twink.

Kenny would take the initiative with a lightning quick lunge, taking a leg with a self-satisfied grin. Kenny’s plan would be to shock and awe the veteran with youthful speed and aggression. Scott would just watch, appraisingly. Even when Kenny sweeps the leg and slams the veteran to his back, I picture Scott just holding his hands out to his side, calmly, cooly studying the ankle biter quickly mounting his lightly hairy chest and sliding into a schoolboy pin. Kenny’s crotch dangling just over Scott’s face, the young stud would break out into that adorably exuberant shit-eating grin, flashing his baseball biceps and basically just waiting for Scott to admit that he’s outmatched.

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I think Scott would indulge the moment a while, because he enjoys the view and he knows he’s winding up the kid’s flawed sense of invincibility. But mid-chuckle, little Kenny would get bucked off and tossed across the matroom. Kenny’s certainty in his own superior speed would be shattered when Scott beats him to his feet, and then just flat out beats him. Scott likes long, strength-sucking endurance holds, so he’d start with a vice-like side headlock, dragging the twink around a couple laps of the matroom while crushing Kenny’s skull between a bulging bicep and his ribcage. Dropping to one knee, I can see Scott turning the crank in that magnificent way he has, pumping the headlock like he’s working to pry the stubborn lid off of a jam jar. Kenny would whimper and wilt sagging lower and lower until Scott takes him all the way to the mat, still crushing his skull relentlessly.

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Seriously, I can see Kenny tapping out to the patiently tantric headlock in the first 3 minutes of the match. It wouldn’t exactly surprise Scott, but it would sort of piss him off. The veteran relishes a test, and a cocky bro rolling over right out of the gate would inspire some serious punishment. Sure, he’d let go of the “submission” hold, but he’d give the kid exactly 1.5 seconds before sliding him into crotch-pillow headscissors and clamping down with his lovely, long, hairy legs. Little Kenny would writhe and whimper louder, struggling to pry the thighs away from his throbbing head.

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Scott would slowly transition to a figure-4 choke, then an armbar, then a tautly strung bow-and-arrow, patiently milking each crush and stretch. The matwork would be masterful, burying the increasingly desperate kid under joint wrenching torture from head to toe. A weak-ass 2nd submission would squeak out of the pretty boy to an incidental half nelson that Scott was using to set up a camel clutch. Scott would throw him down in disgust, exasperated by the would-be tough guy crumbling before him. As little Kenny whimpers petulantly, nursing his battered ego, Scott would call him a crybaby, all talk and no substance. He’d spank the kid’s ass with loud, cracking slaps that would make Kenny spasm and cry out.

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Scott’s patience would run out, waiting for his opponent to get up and fight like a man. Dragging him up by the back of his straining trunks, Scott would hook an arm between Kenny’s legs from behind, hoist him off is feet, and pound the gasping kid down in a gutbuster across his knee. You’d hear the air violently rush out of Kenny’s lungs, even as Scott would hoist him back up and slam him back down, again and again. When the kid doesn’t even squirm on the line, folded humiliatingly across Scott’s bent knee, the veteran would peel the back of Kenny’s sweat-soaked trunks down, exposing that lily white, perfectly round ass. I can see Scott squeeze the produce appreciatively for a while. It’s not like Kenny has any fight in him to complain. Until, that is, Scott starts spanking the naughty boy hard. Screams would punctuate the wet slaps, as the veteran hungrily studies the red palm prints he leaves behind. “Cry for me, crybaby,” Scott would growl. Kenny would weep in frustration.

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Kenny’s pleading submissions would fall on deaf ears. Hell, I’d bet Scott would crack some senior citizen joke about needing new batteries for his hearing aids, and not being able to hear this wailing twink. Of course, the truth is that the veteran would be tickled by every yelp, savoring every tear. He’d drag the kid up, demanding that the weak-kneed punk leave his ass cheeks hanging out. When petulant Kenny stubbornly pulls his short pants back over his red hot glutes, Scott would violently shove him into the wall face-first, pinning his head to the wall with one hand while using the other to yank his opponent’s trunks halfway down his quivering legs. You could just hear the twink’s impotent sobs grow more frustrated, then more desperate, as Scott pins the kid’s wrists to the wall overhead and grinds his crotch into Kenny’s ass.

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Kenny wouldn’t disobey when Scott demands, again, that he leave his trunks where they are. Even as the veteran throws him wall to wall and then body slams the kid to the mat, Kenny would leave his trunks awkwardly hanging mid-thigh. Scott would sit low and mean in the saddle across the kid’s bare butt in a Camel Clutch demanding that the kid cry, which he would. Loudly. Scott’s Boston Crab would be a little more work to cinch in place with Kenny’s trunks sliding most of the way to his knees, but all the easier for the veteran to transition to a single leg and reach down and squeeze the boy’s hanging balls.

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Kenny would submit again. And again. And again. With his tormenter’s claws ripping apart his perky lean pecs, Kenny would give. In an abdominal stretch hanging like a cut of tenderized beef on the hook, he’d cry out in submission again. Twisted, tossed, and tortured, the twink’s trunks would slide lower and lower, until he’d be swaying, barely standing unassisted, his pale white beauty marked all over with red welts turning angry purple, and his prettyboy designer trunks mid-calf. Panting, heavy-lidded, half out of it, Kenny would self-conciously start to bend forward when his gear finally drops to his ankles. Scott would just have to “tut-tut,” and the demolished twink would jerk back to attention obediently, swaying on his feet, eyes on the floor in humiliated subjugation.

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Scott would take one last stroll around his tamed trophy, offering light praise for the kid’s quick obedience, and promising to make a man out of him. Little Kenny wouldn’t say anything, because, really, what would there be to say? He’d just grunt in resignation when Scott shoves an arm between his thighs from behind and hoists the kid across his gorgeously muscled shoulders. If he pulled down on Kenny’s neck and legs, he’d wring more screams and tears out with a torture rack, but there’d really be no point to that any longer. Scott would just be wearing the kid like a wrap now, taking in the sight of himself in the mirror, soaked in sweat and in full possession of the adorable little muscle bro who’d been so filled with cocky overconfidence 20 minutes ago. With his conquest balanced across his wide shoulders, Scott would flex a little. He’d have earned the right to indulge in the self-congratulations, giving credit where it’s due, namely to his phenomenal physique and mat experience. Finally, he’d stride to the door and side-step through it, carrying his naked prize with him.

At least, that’s how I see it. It’s a lot more lopsided a match than we’ve seen Scott wrestle, but seriously, have you seen those huge, corded arms of his with veins popping out in his recent guest appearances at Wrestling with Pride? With the shape he’s in, and company he keeps, and boatload of experience to draw from, I just see tasty little Kenny demolished by the man-of-my-dreams!

Face Turn

April 19, 2016 wrestlebard2 Comments

I thought often about the allure of the pro wrestling narrative of the heel turn: when an upstanding babyface beauty finally gets pushed too far, humiliated too much, cheated out of his just rewards once too often, and he snaps. Fuck, I love that drama. The dark side, constantly tempting and taunting, seducing and enticing, finally unmoors the boy scout from his moral compass, and all bets are off when beauty, brawn, and a disregard for the rules align into a terrifying synergy. Think Brad Rochelle in Contract 6. Think Scott Rogers reborn as Dark Rogers.

Lately, however, I’ve been craving the opposite trajectory. I can work up a head of steam on the story of a vile, sadistic, juggernaut heel who is so out-heeled, so underhandedly brutalized, that he’s reduced to contemplating the vicissitudes of social justice even as he’s reduced to an impotent puddle of humiliation and tears. I’ve been warned by much more influential thought-leaders than I that such a story is verboten. The anti-morality tale inherent in pro wrestling narrative is loathe to witness the heel-turned-babyface. With perverse irony, the unwritten rules of pro wrestling are relatively inflexible around beatification of a formerly monstrous heel. Still, I can dream.

Rusty Stevens late career work with Can-Am scratches that itch of mine. Rusty has been one of the sensationally sexy hunks I’ve obsessed about most on these pages. From his iconic work with Naked Kombat to his Can-Am appearances in the short-lived Arena series, Rusty owned the homoerotic wrestling heel character as persuasively and compellingly as anyone ever has, as far as I’m concerned. He was a completely graceless winner, absolutely reveling in totally humiliating opponent after opponent. He was fucking mean, unstoppable, and I still return to his magnificent heel work over and over again for chart topping satisfaction these years later.

Rusty’s heel work for Naked Kombat was a work of art!

Even after announcing his retirement from porn, Rusty showed up back at Can-Am for a couple of appearances in their Pro Sex Fight series. While true, he’s a just little softer than at the height of his reign of terror, Rusty continues to be an insanely sexy muscle hunk with a gorgeous body, sensational cock, and sneering, snarling, supremely cocky attitude. But these years later, in the Pro Sex Fight ring, he’s far from invincible.

Rusty stares down yet another pretty boy.

In Pro Sex Fight 5, Rusty came pec to pec with the franchise player, Michael Vineland. While I fucking love Vineland no end, climbing into the ring with Rusty highlights Michael’s weaknesses. For my tastes, he simply doesn’t sell, doesn’t own his own character, nearly as convincingly as someone like Rusty does. I think he has one of the hottest bodies wrestling today. But facing that shit-eating grin and cocky, curled lip of Rusty’s, I immediately think of Michael as seriously outclassed.

Of course, Rusty does, too. He’s eaten hot, sexy muscle boys with tons more wrestling experience than Michael. He has the entire canon of pro wrestling at his back, as the supreme heel who can take a younger, bigger, fitter opponent in hand and through superior experience and cunning, make him his bitch.

Michael crushes the formerly invincible heel!

So when Michael works up a head of steam on the veteran heel, I’m absolutely gagging for it! He outfoxes and outwrestles Rusty, turning the dirty tricks and tools of diabolical humiliation back on his seasoned pro.

Ball bashing is supposed to be Rusty’s move!

Rusty screams. He begs. He fucking cries, because a career in homoerotic wrestling has taught him that it isn’t supposed to turn out this way. His crushing humiliation isn’t fucking fair! He sold his soul to the emperor ages ago, and that was supposed to mean that he can dig deeper, be twice as vicious, and always come out in total control, than any ridiculously handsome opponent with superhero pecs and a chiseled jaw.

It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way!

Rusty’s humiliation sends me places that I long to go to more often. If you could pick an invincible homoerotic wrestling heel to get turned, who would it be?

Rusty Stevens is a brutalized babyface!?!

Throwback Thursday

August 13, 2015 wrestlebard1 Comment

WordPress tells me that I this is my 1,295th blog post. No wonder I can’t remember what I’ve talked about over the past 6 years. Since I migrated the pages of this blog to a new server just over 2 years ago, over a quarter of a million visitors (statistically measured with replacement) have clicked more than 991,000 page views. For those curious about trivia, the most page views in a single day happened on September 3 of last year, when there were 2,845 views in 24 hours. Interestingly, the most popular time for people to check out what’s happening here is 11:00 am on Sundays (US Central Time Zone). Fascinating.

What summary cross-sectional statistics can’t say, however, is something about the landscape of the distance we’ve traveled over 6 years. So let’s do a longitudinal look and see what we may learn about how my attention has evolved.

012e1-cuomochamp — Sam Champion & Chris Cuomo. You could see the sexual tension pulsing off of them (Sam).

Exactly six years ago I was obsessing about an enduring topic here, hot newsmen. Specifically, I was bitching about some transparent PR work to make sure viewers knew that hot Italian of my dreams, Chris Cuomo, was straight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was also raising questions about his bromance with weatherman Sam Champion, significantly before Sam came out publicly. Not like the sexual tension between the two of them, both featured on Good Morning America at the time, was difficult to notice. These days my morning newsmen obsessions tend toward desperately hoping to see more shirtless, soaking wet features starring Gio Benitez and Matt Gutman, preferably together. Oh, who am I kidding, preferably in g-strings and coated in sweat pounding the fuck out of each other in a wrestling ring. Maybe in 2016…

ce6d4-brenn2 — Brenn Wyson asks Jack Hammer the eternal question: “Who’s Your Daddy!?”

On August 13, 2010 I was reflecting on how hot verbal banter can make so many near misses a bullseye. This was back when I was actively subscribing, and sincerely enjoying, Naked Kombat. Specifically, their then-recent release of Brenn Wyson squaring off against Jack Hammer was on my mind. I mentioned in the post that I was in a pretty-boy mood, and neither of these battlers were tickling my bone. Yet it was Brenn’s aggressive, smart ass mat banter that was holding my attention and making me grab my crotch, demanding that Jack “call me fucking Daddy Wyson!” Yeah. Personality has been turning my crank for the duration of my blogging days. I miss those good old days when Naked Kombat had more personality.

69c85-wf1 — BG East Wrestlefest 1 Battle R’Oil descended into total chaos. The fabulous variety.

If you checked in here this date in 2011, I was deep in homoerotic wrestling metaphor to make sense of riots around the globe. Sociological theory meets hardcore gay wrestling fetish. There’s still something bewildering to me about mass violence and killing. Of course, these days we have sanctimonious ISIS nut jobs quelling dissent with beheadings and institutionalized terror. I think, as I did 4 years ago, that there’s something in the human condition that can be pushed only so far, though. Bullies and oppressors are notoriously shit at gauging it, but it’s there, inside each and all of us, ready to go ape shit and fuck conventions and rules and throw our lot in with desperate chaos, when pushed over the line. Revolutions seem to always take us by surprise. But clearly, they shouldn’t.

b7f46-romansebrie2 — Of course Roman Sebrle trashed the homoerotic wrestling decathlete competition. Look at that body!!!

On this date in 2012, my homoerotic wrestling imagination was still running wild from seeing so many Olympic athletes pumped and primed in competition. The summer Olympics were over, but my obsession with translating those stunningly world class bodies into homoerotic wrestling scenarios was still roaring full speed. August 13 was for crushing hard and imagining the pleasures of watching the Olympic decathletes climb into the ring and work their phenomenal cross training bodies. Damn, I enjoyed writing those Olympic Spirit stories! For the record, the singles homoerotic wrestling decathlete title went to hot daddy Czech Roman Sebrle, heeling his salt-n-pepper hotness all over golden boy American Trey Hardee. However, Trey won a taste of retribution, pinning the hot naked Czech ass to the sky for team America. Damn, I can’t wait for Rio 2016!

kevinback — Kevin Crows naked back is a work of homoerotic wrestling art!

Two years ago today, I was fixated on hotly muscled backs as wordplay on celebrating being back from vacation and getting back to updating the blog. This reminds me of the way that continuing this blog has been about ebbs and flows, sometimes finding a ton to say and time to say it, sometimes not. Over the years I’ve often emphasized that this is truly just at the edges of what pays my bills. So life often keeps me from musing further. But I always miss it when that happens. And as much as I mull over whether I’ve said absolutely everything I have to say about the topic of homoerotic wrestling, I keep finding more to write.

jakeunconcious — Three cheers for Jake’s bro Eli Black for putting Jake out cold!

If you tuned in exactly one year ago, you’d have found my grand finale of my Making Jake series. It took over a year to work my way through the alphabet, marveling at how pleasurable it is to watch opponents bring out so much, such variety, and every bit of hotness from Jake Jenkins. Of course, the end of the alphabet sucks, but still, I was pretty pleased to call out the joys of seeing opponents make Jake unconscious, vertical, wet, x-rated, yelp, and zealous.

A lot has changed in 6 years. A lot hasn’t. Looking forward to seeing what next year brings!

Just Wrestle

January 9, 2015 wrestlebard2 Comments

This will surprise no one, but I begin today’s post with the premise that I like male bodies. A lot. I like them in a variety of incarnations, proportions, hues, and composition. There are certainly specific male bodies that I don’t like, but the collection of bodies that fall into the “like” category are varied.

Early in my exploration of the homoerotic wrestling universe (that sort of makes me feel like Captain Kirk), I found the Greenwood/Cooper produced video “Wrestle” in my enlightened “home video store” (wow, now I’m feeling old). I felt rather daring picking it up off the shelf and paying to rent the provocative VHS based on the promotional jacket.

The product description on the back reads, “Competition wrestlers, pitted against each other in combat, strain their tight, sinewy, well-muscled bodies and their indomitable wills to bring you an experience of unequaled beauty and force.” Uh, yeah. This was at a time when I was a lot more cautious about outing myself, but there was no way I wasn’t going to slap down $3 to study this work of art for every second of the 3 day rental. I’m pretty sure I skipped at least a couple of my graduate school classes to get every penny’s worth out of “Wrestle.” It was soft core, set in and beside Roman baths. The wrestlers were young and gorgeous. As I remember, the wrestling pairs started in posing straps or towels wrapped around their waists, but most of the action was entirely naked, presenting for anyone who appreciates the male body 6 spectacular specimens entirely unadorned and videographed in intimate, up close detail. The combat was highly stylized, severely restricted by tile mosaic floors. It came across to me like perfectly pitched performance art, presenting my deepest fantasies in fantastical and inciting beauty.

I strongly suspect that were I to set down with “Wrestle” again, I wouldn’t be nearly as awed as I was in those early days. My homoerotic wrestling library needs a new wing built onto my home these days, and the novelty that made me dizzy in soaking in “Wrestle” many years ago just isn’t as compelling for me today, in and of itself. Then I again, whether or not it’s the nostalgia talking, I think I may try to track it down again, if for no other reason than sometimes what I really, really want to watch is two beautiful, powerful, entirely naked male bodies locked in combat. And surprisingly, considering the size of my library, it isn’t always easy to find.

nklandon — Landon Conrad wrestles naked with Alex Adams at Naked Kombat.

I think Naked Kombat comes closest to stoking that nostalgia I feel as I think about my experience of discovering “Wrestle.” When the NK pornboys finally rip each other’s gear off and go to town entirely naked, there’s a depth of intimacy and vulnerability that makes the physical combat that much more captivating as a spectator. Naked Kombat is hardcore, however, and the artistry and beauty so appropriately named in the product description of “Wrestle” take a back seat (or perhaps just tenuously being towed along in a trailer far behind) to the sex and fury. Not that I don’t get off on NK sex and fury frequently. But NK is a different breed than “Wrestle.”

Z-Man and Jake Jenkins are homoerotic wrestling art.

Some homoerotic wrestling producers manage to capture the “beauty and force” that “Wrestle” managed, but steer clear of the daring genre of pitting their wrestlers against one another naked. Rock Hard Wrestling, Movimus, and Thunder’s Arena come to mind, playing on the relative innocence and innuendo of old school soft core like “Wrestle.” Thunder’s is playful and specializes in beautiful muscle, but their playfulness and tongue-in-cheek score low on the earnestness meter. RHW’s commitment to video production quality makes me think more of the earnestness of the camera angles in “Wrestle.” Both “Wrestle” director Kurthy and the production crew at RHW clearly have a commitment to artistically document the living sculpture that is beautiful male bodies grappling. But a full 20 years after “Wrestle” was produced, RHW does so with a more demure tack, letting the homoeroticism be conveyed primarily by the viewing eyes, and not stepping into the hetero-iconoclastic territory of full-on naked bodies.

rusty — Brian Bodine and Rusty Stevens briefly grapple naked in their full-throttle Arena match to see who gets fucked.

Can-Am and BG East both feature naked wrestlers, and again, both get my engine running hot. However, neither of the big boys in the business tweak that nostalgia (or stroke the still valid sweet spot) that “Wrestle” did. Like NK, Can-Am tends to cast pornboys, and the naked chapter of the combat is too often all too briefly sandwiched between geared wrestling and the post-match fucking. Some of Can-Am’s Arena series featured the wrestlers in naked falls, but even as satisfying as it is, for example, watching Rusty Stevens and Aryx Quinn crushing one another nude, the surprisingly brief moment between combat and full throttle sexual content is simply a different animal than the hour or so of pure and simple naked wrestling in “Wrestle.”

trey — Gear Wars 4 briefly turns naked wrestling for Skip Vance and Trey Dixon.

BG East is always right in my wheelhouse for their earnestness, but theirs is an earnestness about the integrity of wrestling itself. “Wrestle” advertises as “competition wrestler pitted against each other in combat,” but BG East much more legitimately owns the current scene with regard to experienced, accomplished, enthusiastic wrestlers in their matches than just about anyone else producing (Cameron Matthews is making a strong play for that market lately, however). But I’m hard pressed to think of a BG East match that simply lets two “well-muscled bodies” wrestle naked for very long. In the new release, Gear Fetish 4, Skip Vance and Trey Dixon (current homoerotic wrestler of the month for this match) slowly trade for skimpier and skimpier gear until the last fall is fully naked. But that last fall lasts, what, 45 seconds? Not that I can blame the boys for being clearly driven to distraction by the full throttle fetish arousal they’d worked up to a lather by that point, but it’s not a “naked wrestling” product, in the sense I’m musing on today.

oilhunks4 — MDW is teasing naked bodybuilder wrestling in upcoming Oil Hunks 4, featuring full monty Specimen and Mutant.

Nakedness does appear more frequently at Muscle Domination Wrestling lately, and there’s a particularly enticing teaser of Thunder’s Arena bodybuilder alums Mutant and Specimen appearing to be about to wrestle entirely naked in the ring in their upcoming season. MDW’s commitment to the narrative, though, along with a lower production quality than most of the producers today, makes me think that as surely as I will be pulling up a table to feast on naked bodybuilders grappling in Oil Hunks 4, it won’t quite tweak the “experience of unequaled beauty and force” that “Wrestle” did for me.

The more I muse, the more I think that I’m caught by nostalgia. It may have been less about Greenwood/Cooper’s “Wrestle” itself, or the 6 hot hunks who starred in it, or the setting or camera angles or lighting, than it was about me, 20 years ago, in a different time and place, with a different perspective, exploring something new and titillating and dangerous and novel. I’ll definitely have to find me a copy of “Wrestle” to sort this out. Then again, if I saw this DVD cover in a store today, I’d snap it up for 20 times the price I rented it 20 years ago.

It’s Political

May 12, 2014 wrestlebardLeave a comment

My interest in professional football has primarily centered on a three-way ring wrestling fantasy in which Aaron Rodgers, Jordy Nelson, and Clay Matthews beat the living shit out of each other (obviously including extensive double-teaming by Aaron and Jordy), until they’ve all been stripped out of their trunks and the winner gets a blow job from one loser while he racks the other across his gargantuan shoulders (yep, you can pretty much guess who’s who). Actually following a season has been outside of my frame of reference for well over a decade, and actually paying attention to draft day has frankly never been on my radar. But it was hard not to notice Michael Sam getting drafted by the Rams and sucking face with his boyfriend in celebration. The kiss seemed a tad forced and uncomfortably choreographed to me. Nevertheless, it was hot. For me. Others were clearly offended. There were apparently the predictable junior high level “ewwwwws” from the un-self-reflected narcissists privileged to remain far too long in angst-ridden adolescent ignorance and knee jerk self-defensiveness around their own secret same-sex fantasies. There was the wildly hypocritical “shield my baby’s eyes” indignation from the same mothers who blissfully see no irony in wanting more guns in their children’s schools while earnestly believing that witnessing g-rated affection between consenting adults will scar their offspring permanently. And there’s the “homosexual agendaists” who whip themselves in sackcloth because of the “politicization” of sport, and sports television, and masculinity itself. Whatever it means for football or football fans or sports television, the kerfuffle highlights the simple truth that persists regardless of where you stand: the personal is political. Oh, and two men kissing is sexy.

Friday Fashion

February 15, 2014 wrestlebard4 Comments

No one should try to out-pretty Pretty Pete Sharp without expecting a serious fight. Pete was the overwhelming victor in last week’s Friday Fashion poll, earning 100 votes to Darius‘ 36 votes, decisively owning having worn those baby blue Adidas trunks best. Pete may have had an unfair advantage for having chosen trunks the precise shade of his eyes. And then there’s the gargantuan bulge he’s smuggling down the front of them that’s so very persuasive as well. I still say this probably should have been the year that Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) had to turn over his best bulge title to the beast writhing underneath don’t-call-me-pretty Pretty Pete Sharp’s pouch. His consolation, I suppose, is that he wore it best.

fashionpete2 — Even Kid Karisma had to take a moment to appreciate how well Pete wore those trunks!

This week’s Friday Fashion poll was spotted by long-time friend of neverland, Jose. Jose noticed that both pre- and post- drenched in sweat, both porn star Rusty Stevens and award winning babyface, Jake Jenkins wore the identical 2xist jock straps. Rusty wore it first in his one and only appearance for BG East, the Breaking Point, making my fondest fantasy come true by giving Mitch Colby everything he’s got, including mountains of trash talk, gallons of sweat, and at least 1/2 a pint of cum. Jake showed up several catalogs later in the same fashion choice, revealed once stunningly beautiful Marco Carlow peeled Jake out of his shorts in Undagear 20. These are two very, very different wrestlers, different looks, different attitudes, different bodies, but they both wore the same gorgeous-ass-framing designer jock. But who wore it best? Vote below.

fasionrusty — Porn star god turned hardcore homoerotic wrestler, Rusty Stevens has never failed to look good in anything and, especially, nothing. But when he still had this grey 2xist jock strap on, did he wear it best?

fashionjake — There’s a reason this vision of beauty has won the title of top babyface two years running at BG East. But in this fashion contest, he’s up against his stiffest competition yet. He could be the most handsome stud in the stable, but did he wear it best?

Friday Fashion

December 6, 2013 wrestlebard1 Comment

fashionrusty — Rusty Stevens wore it best.

It’s a rare pretty faced rookie who can pull an upset off on one of the veteran heels in wrestling. Early in last week’s Friday Fashion poll, I thought beautiful Brit Darren Madison was going to do just that, taking a commanding lead in early voting to determine who wore those orange and blue N2N biker shorts best. Slowly, but surely, the veteran and perennial top tier favorite here at neverland, Rusty Stevens, calmly came up from behind (which you know is one of his favorite moves) and then pounded the pretty boy’s ass into the mat, winning the vote with nearly 58%. The attention Darren drew is telling, I think, and I hope that we see more of the rough-n-tumble fratboy with an accent. However, the voters have spoken, and it’s not hard to see why fans would think that Rusty Stevens wore it best.

fashionrusty2 — Rusty strains and struggles, sweating straight through those N2N shorts.

Today’s poll draws again from the N2N fashion drawer, and once again let’s look at that same style of biker shorts, but this time in gold and green. First up is the immensely popular Aryx Quinn, who managed to hold onto this gear an astonishingly long time against, appropriately enough, Rusty Stevens in Can-Am’s Arena 2. Aryx never fails to own mountains of fans with his fuck stakes wrestling, but that’s not the question here. The question is, did he wear it best?

Battling for the vote this week is fellow Can-Am alum, Tyler Reese, who wore the exact same gear in Jobe’s Justice. Tyler never fails to show up cut like crystal, with a boyish face that’s easily overlooked because of that phenomenal physique. Those N2N biker shorts look like they’ve been applied with a butter knife on his incredibly lean, muscled legs. He’s stunningly beautiful, but again, let me remind you, the question is whether he wore it best. Check out the options and vote below!

fashionaryx — Aryx Quinn’s bulges stretch that gold and green beautifully. Pretty as a picture and vicious as a viper, Aryx is unquestionably a wrestling fan favorite. But did he wear it best?

fashiontyler — Bring your dirty laundry, because Tyler Reese as one of the most ripped washboard abs in the business to along with his lean, powerfully muscled body and adorable babyface. Yeah, you wanna wrestle him to the mat and unleash that trouser snake bulging through the contours of his shorts. But did he wear it best?

Friday Fashion

November 29, 2013 wrestlebard3 Comments

fashiondynasty5 — Attila Dynasty wore it best!

It was a relatively close contest between Attila Dynasty and Lou Terassi with regard to who you thought wore those pastel pink undies best. Polls here at neverland are frequently blow outs, but Attila took the popular vote with about 60%. Now let’s see Lou and Attila in the ring in a finish-to-start match, with the boys starting out naked and wrestling to see who gets to walk out of the ring room wearing the aforementioned gear. Who’s with me?!

fashiondynasty7 — Attila Dynasty’s trunks always have to work overtime.

Today’s Friday Fashion poll is a rare cross-production contest. N2N has been making eye catching undergear that’s been a favorite choice at Can-Am. However, a few of the BG East boys have sported N2N gear as well. Take, for example, These biker shorts from N2N. Blue, orange, and muscle sucking sexiness all over, they look like they’re painted on Rusty Stevens. But damn it all, if they don’t look like they’re painted on and aching to get ripped off UK motel battler Darren Madison, as well! It’s another veteran heel going head-to-head with a achingly fresh faced rookie. I think they both wear the fuck out of these trunks, but who do you think wore it best? You know the drill: check out your options and then vote below.

fashiondarren2 — Darren Madison squeezed so many gorgeous bulges inside the very same biker shorts in BG East’s Motel Madness UK: New Breed?

Thank Your Lucky Stars

November 28, 2013November 28, 2013 wrestlebardLeave a comment

It’s the day designated for expressing thanks. I certainly have a boatload of things, people, and moments to be thankful for. But as a departure from always talking about what I like, I think today I’ll just share some choice pics of homoerotic wrestlers who give every impression of being caught right at the moment of thanking their lucky stars. Happy day, y’all.

worshipjoshua — Randy Stanton was the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet when Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) gave him the chance to wrestle for the greatly coveted secret look at what Mr. J is packing in his trunks! **BG East’s Matmen 21.**

worshiprafe2 — Sebastian Rios worships at the feet, the cock, the ass… well, everything of oiled and insanely luscious Rafe Sanchez (mmmmm…. Rafe….). BG East’s **X-Fights 32: Caribbean Oil**.

worshiprafe — Peter Stallion similarly looks like he may be thanking a higher power for his all access pass to Rafe (mmmmm…. Rafe….). BG East’s Wrestle Worship 1.

worshipmarc — Two musclemen battle for the adoration of muscle worshipper Randy Dowell, who cannot believe his luck! Wrestle **Worship 2: Triple Emission.**

worshipben — When is Canadian Thanksgiving? I think it’s right around the moment that Ben Monaco gets his hands on the furry, massive pecs of newbie Alain LeClair. BG East’s **Mat Scraps 2**.

worshipkv — Rookie Frank Daly is in for a marathon of brutality and viscousness, and you can tell from the look on his face that he wouldn’t have it any other way! BG East’s **X-Fights 27**.

damienworship — What’s LJL to do when he finds himself commanded to worship Damien Rush’s muscles? Thank his lucky stars! BG East’s **Backyard Brawls 8**.

worshipfantasy — Paul Lasalle gets to freeze frame the ring action in real life, so he gets down on his knees, strips frozen Buck Wyld of his trunks, squeezes that incredible ass, and thanks the homoerotic wrestling gods! Can-Am’s **Fantasy Pro Wrestling**.

worshipmichael — Win? Lose? What the fuck ever! Landon Mycles drops to one knee and silently prays a word of thanks for the chance to get his hands all over Michael Vineland. Can-Am’s **Pro Sex Fight 1**.

worshiprusty — On his knees and worshiping the physique of Kevin Crowes, Rusty Stevens is one thankful homoerotic wrestler! Can-Am’s Pro Sex Fight 4.Buck

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