Thank Your Lucky Stars Boys

I’m sure I was probably too harsh a couple of days ago when I took poor twink Hunter James to task for not enjoying his muscle worship session with Braden Charron nearly enough in Muscle Domination Wrestling’s Oil Hunks 2. Muscle Master Kevin himself had to comment that I probably got the wrong end of the stick, mistaking Hunter’s deer-in-the-headlights-nervousness with a lack of enthusiasm. Fair enough. It got me thinking about point-of-view. POV in a well-told story typically takes the reader into the scenario in some relatable way. The character from who’s POV the story unfolds is identifiable and comprehensible to the reader. We may not exactly embrace them, but sometimes the truly masterful story is the one that sucks us into the POV of someone we might otherwise think is incomprehensibly other to us (hello, Dexter).  Like Hunter James in OH2, there’s a play on POV in many homoerotic wrestling products that pit a man of pure fantasy, ripped from the cover of a physique mag, unattainable like a star in the heavens, and pits him against an opponent who is relatable to the average Joe wrestling fan. The drama unfolds with the majority of viewers squarely in the back pocket of the average Joe, the Everyman. He may win or lose, compete or cave, but the story unfolds with us securely experiencing the scene from the POV of the boy who’s got to be thanking his lucky stars to get thrown into the deep end of the pool to swim with the gods for a brief moment in time.

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Okay that’s certainly a look of pleasure on Hunter’s face when he obediently peels Braden out of his trunks.

Hunter James being dominated and “forced” to oil up and admire a naked Braden Charron is a case in point. Hunter is not a physique star. I’m not saying he’s not a handsome little piece of meat, but the contrast between his lean, undefined, attainable body and the bulging, tanned, impeccably groomed beauty of Braden is a contrast that seems to almost inevitably shove most of us into the POV of Hunter. That’s probably why I’m so harsh on him. I think of myself, briefly, vicariously, as him. I’d dig my fingers deep into those glutes when Braden demands that I spread baby oil across his ass, so when Hunter demurely paints on a paper thin coat by barely making contact with that ass, I want to slap the twink around. That’s NOT my POV, damn it. Enjoy it! Play with it. Thank your lucky stars and then dive in with both feet and celebrate the phenomenal physique standing there naked in front of you demanding your adoration.

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Randy Dowell looks like he’s staring into the face of a Greek god as he kneels at the feet of Mark Merino.

I’m overemphasizing the attainability aspect of the Everyman, I’m sure. I’m not saying that a wrestler can’t look hot and still carry off the role of selling the average Joe thanking his lucky stars. Take Randy Dowell, for example, who in Wrestle Worship 2 had the stunning good luck to not only worship both Mark Merino and Stan Greer, but to watch, in awe, as Mark and Stan battled with one another over who’s hunky body Randy should worship last. The plain, cold truth is that Randy Dowell is a hot, handsome hunk in his own right. He’s not nearly as massive as Mark or Stan, but he’s fit, hard, and handsome as hell. But its context and sell that make him work as our eyes and ears (and mouth and nose and especially hands) in the ring, with the DVD promo letting us know that Randy is a fanboy who pelted BG East with a flood of pleas to get to meet gorgeous Mark in person. And Randy is thanking his lucky stars over and over, enthralled, enraptured, turned on like a light switch and hitting every mark that a muscle fan would insist on hitting when faced with the smorgasbord of beef set in front him.

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Randy Stanton may not take possession of Mr. Joshua, but on behalf of us all, he gets an appreciative, lingering grope in of Mr. J’s amazingly hot bod.

Another Randy, Randy Stanton, similarly is in possession of a hot, fit, lean bod all his own, but the handsome hunk is absolutely salivating when he strolls into the BG East mat room behind none other than Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!). Again, context builds this narrative every bit as effectively as Randy’s awestruck and truly awesome sell. The match description explains that Mr. J is playing with fire, letting himself get picked up by star-struck Randy and offering up full possession of Mr. J’s phenomenal physique should Randy have what it takes to own it. Holy hell, what a concept! What a cocky sell both of Mr. J’s gargantuan, mammoth, oversized, mouthwatering massive ego (you thought I was going to say something else), as well as transforming hottie Randy S. into, well, you and me, another guy dizzied by Mr. J’s gorgeousness and slack jawed at the wide open opportunity to get his adoring hands all over that body, heart pumping with the possibility of tagging Mr. J’s ass and, more importantly, unleashing the beast that Mr. J infamously smuggles down the front of his drawers.

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That average Joe Drake Wild is about to live the fantasy of so many of us, climbing to the top of Tyler St. James and planting his flag for all mere mortal homoerotic wrestling fans everywhere.

Can-Am pulled off a similar motif in their recent release of Pro Sex Fight 10.  In this case, it’s much less about the context and the narrative off camera, and built almost entirely on the stunning, striking contrast between the two sex fighters, Drake Wild and Tyler St. James.  Tyler is a fantasyman like few others. Tanned, impeccably toned, beautifully blue-eyed Tyler is posted at 6’2″ and around 247 pounds, while lithe, lean, pale Drake is reported to be somewhere in the vicinity of 5’4″ and a buck and a quarter or so. That alone sucks me into that ring irresistibly entranced by the David v Goliath implications, but even more so by the fantasyman v lean, brooding mini-twink. Visually, I’ve seen Drake’s sort out at the bars on plenty of occasions, including the attitude and the Napolean-complex-will-fuck-you-up-for-real stance. I can’t say I’ve ever seen a heavenly vision quite like Tyler in real life, much less had the opportunity to climb into the ring, call him on his shit, and both figuratively and quite literally fuck him up.

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Mark Nelson gets exactly what he wants from Brooklyn Bodywrecker, including the slap on the face as he kneels at the feet of one of the most notorious heel daddies to have entered the ring.

My final example of a thank-your-lucky-stars boy who pulls this motif off persuasively is Mark Nelson’s fanboy meets his worst nightmare/fondest fantasy Brooklyn Bodywrecker in Demolition 3. Another fanboy granted his fondest fantasy, Mark is sucking down the humiliation and punishment of BBW like a parched bedouin in the desert. The tension of physical domination, of terror, of the battle of bodies and wills is no less present, and Mark is another hunky hottie, but the sell is all about the point of view of the average Joe who comes face to face with a real, life, towering homoerotic wrestling god.

Who’s your favorite Everyman wrestler and in what match?

Thank Your Lucky Stars

It’s the day designated for expressing thanks. I certainly have a boatload of things, people, and moments to be thankful for.  But as a departure from always talking about what I like, I think today I’ll just share some choice pics of homoerotic wrestlers who give every impression of being caught right at the moment of thanking their lucky stars. Happy day, y’all.

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Randy Stanton was the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet when Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) gave him the chance to wrestle for the greatly coveted secret look at what Mr. J is packing in his trunks! BG East’s Matmen 21.
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Sebastian Rios worships at the feet, the cock, the ass… well, everything of oiled and insanely luscious Rafe Sanchez (mmmmm…. Rafe….). BG East’s X-Fights 32: Caribbean Oil.
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Peter Stallion similarly looks like he may be thanking a higher power for his all access pass to Rafe (mmmmm…. Rafe….). BG East’s Wrestle Worship 1.
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Two musclemen battle for the adoration of muscle worshipper Randy Dowell, who cannot believe his luck! Wrestle Worship 2: Triple Emission.
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When is Canadian Thanksgiving? I think it’s right around the moment that Ben Monaco gets his hands on the furry, massive pecs of newbie Alain LeClair. BG East’s Mat Scraps 2.
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Rookie Frank Daly is in for a marathon of brutality and viscousness, and you can tell from the look on his face that he wouldn’t have it any other way! BG East’s X-Fights 27.
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What’s LJL to do when he finds himself commanded to worship Damien Rush’s muscles? Thank his lucky stars! BG East’s Backyard Brawls 8.
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Paul Lasalle gets to freeze frame the ring action in real life, so he gets down on his knees, strips frozen Buck Wyld of his trunks, squeezes that incredible ass, and thanks the homoerotic wrestling gods! Can-Am’s Fantasy Pro Wrestling.
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Win? Lose? What the fuck ever! Landon Mycles drops to one knee and silently prays a word of thanks for the chance to get his hands all over Michael Vineland. Can-Am’s Pro Sex Fight 1.
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On his knees and worshiping the physique of Kevin Crowes, Rusty Stevens is one thankful homoerotic wrestler! Can-Am’s Pro Sex Fight 4.Buck

Cocks Named

No big winners this week, but these late-breaking cocks make us all winners, really. Wrestling Arsenal has a nicely put comment on the “other” cocks in the news these days that captures well some of my own sentiment. As we debate the morality of politicians with iPhones, take a break and check the answers to these other cocks in the news
Cock(s) #1 belong(s) to…
… BG East’s “Aqua” and Angelo Blanco.
Score! True enough, this isn’t quite as late-breaking news as a certain U.S. representative’s tweeting scandal, but Masked Mayhem 8 was just released a few weeks ago. While BG East has already released their Summer Sizzlers since then, my copy of Masked Mayhem 8 still has that “new DVD” smell about it that makes me all excited about the nuances I have yet to discover. However, I have already discovered the thrill of Angelo Blanco’s sweat-soaked body with his own cock in one hand and Aqua’s cock in the other.
Cock #2 belongs to…
…BG East’s extremely newly released debut of Stan (don’t call me Stanley!) Greer.
Thunder’s Arena’s fans will recognize the face and body, but this is by all means the first time I’ve laid eyes on that truly beautiful cock! As of just last friday, with Wrestle Worship 2: Triple Emission it certainly looks like Stan is giving us something that we’ve never seen from him before. Between him and Marc Merino battling for the adoration of lucky newby Randy Dowell, this is full-on, newsworthy, hot-off-the-presses cock worth taking note of!
Cock #3 belongs to…
…Naked Kombat’s Roman Rivers.
Muscle stud Roman just this week showed up for Naked Kombat against twink Mike Rivers, pulling out that pretty, pretty tool of his for a round 4 celebration.
Cock #4 belongs to…
 …BG East’s Rob Chandler.
Facebook buddy Ashley Ryder gets an extremely up-close look at Rob’s thick cock in Gear Wars 3: UK Kink in their breaking news release for BG East’s Summer Sizzlers out merely days. Ashley totally inspires me, but good god! Rob is smoking hot! The cock ring makes me wince, but every inch of this hot little muscle stud is sweet, sweet, sweet!
 Cock #5 belongs to…
…Naked Kombat’s Cameron Adams.
I LOVE this pic! DJ is on top here, bridging way high with that python of his bouncing around just out of Cameron’s reach. This match was the breaking news just a couple days before everyone started frantically tittering about a certain politician’s Twittering. Like Cameron in the round 3 face-off, personally I have a tough time tearing my eyes away from DJ’s sledgehammer. DJ has the cock to make Cameron weak in the knees and the wrestling skills to slap him to his back in heartbeat. Love me some DJ!
Like Wrestling Arsenal, I think there’s something insidious and untapped about the public flagellation required of a politician who snaps some iPhone pics of his hard body. Perhaps they do just need to find a new, more appreciative line of work. Regardless, I refuse to be discouraged or ashamed of big, beautiful, hot-off-the-presses cocks.