AR is genuinely low-key genius when it comes to his eye for homoerotic wrestling. One of the unexpectedly fun aspects of my recent collaboration with him, co-creating with me my first illustrated homoerotic wrestling fiction, was the particular give and take of the creative process. At times, I’d take the lead with some text, describing the scene, detailing a hold, scripting the dialogue. Then, like half a day later, AR would have created a 3D image in astonishing detail of that moment that had, just hours earlier, only existed in my mind’s eye. At other times, he would craft an image of a hold or a plot point, and then I’d write the text through the middle of the lane markers that he so skillfully generated for the story. It was a very cool creative process that we’re already investing in replicating.
One of the coolest moments in the creative process of putting together the Focus Group homoerotic wrestling match, featuring Ryan Gosling and Timothée Chalamet, was near the end of our work, when AR asked if we were missing a beat in the narrative. We built this moment in the plot when one hot, hard hunk is at the brink of despair, and AR asked the perfect question, of whether the action we’d constructed sufficiently and convincingly shoved the poor, gorgeous fucker over that edge. It was AR’s idea to add one more hold to fully justify the way the story unfolds, and he was the one who suggested that we use the Will Breaker.
I know this hold from Charming Chase Addams’ matches, and from having enjoyed the opportunity in the past to hear Chase talk about the development of the hold, and his creative process in coming up with the name for it. Chase is an innovator, and a passionately devoted student of the science and art of pro wrestling. The range of holds in his arsenal is pretty fucking incredible, particularly when I think about how ridiculously young and pretty he is. (Not that being pretty has anything to do with it. I just wanted to mention how pretty Chase is.)
Kirk Donahue in the Will Breaker in Florida Fights 7, winner of 2018 Best Submission!
I don’t think I really fully appreciated the complexity and beauty of the Will Breaker until it came time for me to try to describe, in words, one homoerotic wrestler applying the hold to another. Like, fuck, the words fail me! I watch him do it, mind you. It’s not like some mystery that happens behind a curtain somewhere. The spotlight over the ring allows no slight of hand or smoke and mirrors. I watch him do it, and even still, it’s fucking complex and nuanced and mysterious!
AR suggested something similar in his creative process of constructing a 3D render of the hold. He mentioned needing to painstakingly place each limb and joint, because there are no software shortcuts to create something like that. It’s not a position the human body was meant to easily slip into, or to endure for very long, so shaping a 3D rendering was, as I understand it, a significant challenge. And, thus, I repeat myself when I say that AR is a low-key genius. As soon as I publish this post, I’m going to get an email from him, humbly insisting on a disclaimer from my praise, but don’t believe him. He’s fucking brilliant.
Chase is, obviously, brilliant at what he does, as well. He’s not low-key about it, though. Chase knows his own genius, and he strips down to nearly nothing, climbs into a wrestling ring in front of a room full of cameras and microphones, and does magic like this that makes me gasp.
Christian Taylor gets the Will Breaker in Chase’s debut, in Tag Team Torture 19, Best Ring Match and Best Overall Match of 2016!
Anyway, I’m appreciating today these two young geniuses with such a passion for the science and art of homoerotic wrestling, of one fierce hunk taking possession of another, crushing one man’s hopes and dignity, and handing his body entirely over to his opponent. In their own ways, AR and Chase both get it, so deeply and fully!
Richie Douglas reaches Will Breaker perfection in Ring Wars 32, Best Ring Match and Best Submission of 2019 (see a pattern!?)
If you know me at all, you know that my tastes cover a range of wrestlers and wrestling. Lately, I’ve been keying off a lot on skinny boys. I love audacious skinny wrestlers who instantly make fans wonder out loud, “What the fuck is that guy think he’s doing climbing into the ring?!” I like them when they look breakable. Tantalizingly vulnerable, but with a fierce core of tensile steel and inexplicable fearlessness. Within the genre, I like them cute as buttons, with bright eager smiles and pinchable cheeks. Thus it surprises no one with a passing familiarity with my tastes in wrestlers that little Charlie Evans keeps reeling me in.
Charlie uses guile and deception to take Gunner from behind
I also like my skinny boys with a chance. So, in Catchweight 9 when Charlie camps out underneath the BG East ring to sneak up on Gunner Baer from behind as the big muscle boy flexes and stretches, I’m cheering him on. Charlie leaps up on that broad, muscled back of Gunner’s, squeezing the big man’s torso between his legs and clamping down a blindsided sleeper gambit. He takes the muscle boy completely by surprise. As Gunner stumbles around for several seconds struggling to catch up with the chess match, I have fleeting hopes for a revenge of the nerds bout. With this uncharacteristic flash of foul play, perhaps Charlie is finally taking my longstanding advice to grab the wheel with both hands and swerve recklessly into the heel lane. Fuck, just how satisfying would it be to see a skinny boy instantly outsmart his preening, homecoming king, jock opponent and sadistically pry his luscious body apart in retribution for every towel snapping, homophobic bullying that the genetically gifted bodies take such pleasure in doling out during our compulsory education. Okay, perhaps that says more about me than about Charlie or Gunner.
“Really? This is what they sent?”
Tragically, my unrequited longing to see Charlie’s heel turn continues unabated. Big Gunner reaches over his shoulder, grabs Charlie by the back of the neck, and easily, with one hand, flips the lightweight cheater head over heels. “Really? This is what they sent?” Gunner asks, giving voice to what countless fans have said upon seeing an ambitious skinny boy like Charlie dare to accept a match with a muscle armored hunk like Gunner.
Face of a cherub, body of a beefcake
I’m still undecided what I think of Gunner Baer. I mean, don’t get me wrong. He’s unquestionably fuckable. He has a teen angel thing going, with a stunningly gorgeous, delicately featured face atop a hypermasculine, thickly muscled, beautifully proportioned body. My question is not whether Gunner is a sexy mother fucker. Give me a bottle of lube and a couple of hours, and I’d muscle worship the fuck out of big Gunner Baer. The jury is still out for me as to what to make of him as a homoerotic pro wrestler. In his debut match, he was squashed like a bug by Flash LaCash, and he made a compelling case as a doe-eyed muscle jobber. Watching his musclebound pretty boy dreams get trampled under foot was seriously hot. This time out, though he’s large and in charge. He’s contemptuous and sadistic. He’s far more fallen angel than teen angel. I’m not sure which side of Gunner Baer I’m left wanting to see more of. And of course, that, in and of itself, is seductively sexy for me.
Nothing but a thing
As for this match, holy fuck, Gunner beats the living shit out of little Charlie. There’s almost not suspension of disbelief necessary in this match. The only doubt you’ll need to dismiss is whether Charlie could take the amount of abuse he takes without broken bones, internal injuries to vital organs, and multiple concussions to show for it. As Charlie has pointed out to me, the trade off for staring down long odds every time he climbs into the ring is that fans will be treated to some of the most visually stimulating feats of lopsided strength available. There’s something just sublime about a fully extended, unending gorilla press. When Charlie gets tossed out of the ring, big Gunner follows his befuddled prey, picks him up, hoists him straight-armed overhead with barely an effort, and then overhanded flings him over the top rope, flying back into the ring to land about 10 feet away.
“I’m… a little… BITCH-BOY!”
Gunner relishes the psychological dominance every bit as much as his physical dominance. “Say, ‘I’m a little bitch-boy,'” Gunner demands of Charlie before he’ll free him from a spine-damaging Boston crab. Charlie obeys. Prying his body in all the wrong ways like a twist-tie, Gunner refuses to accept another submission until Charlie cries out, “I’m a girly-man!” Flinging him to the mat, Gunner flexes his gargantuan biceps in Charlie’s slack jawed face. “Look at these 20-inch pythons,” Gunner crows. “You thought you could beat this?! I’m a Greek god!”
“I’m a Greed god!”
While my deep longing to see this skinny boy upend his bully and spank Gunner to tears is unsatisfied, I think I’ve got reason to hold out hope. In every conversation I’ve had with Charlie, he’s saccharine sweet IRL. My relatively colorful use of profanity has, quite literally made Charlie blush (of course, he’s such a ginger that’s not hard to do). Charlie literally, unselfconsciously uses phrases like, “oh, golly,” and “son of a beeswax,” fastidiously eschewing all coarse language in a way that seems astonishingly genuine and habitual. So when big Gunner snap mares Charlie so hard the ginger levitates about a foot off the mat on the rebound, it’s a little shocking to hear Charlie shout, “Goddam it!” Gunner hooks Charlie’s left knee behind his thick, jock neck and stands up, dangling Charlie off the ground by the straining, snapping tendons and ligaments in his knee. Abruptly, Charlie screams out, “Damn it! SHIT!!!”
“Damn it. SHIT!!!”
It seems to me like the wear and tear of BG East action very well could accomplish what my powers of persuasion have been unable to. Dudley Do-Right Charlie Evans is resorting to openly cheating to try to level the playing field with the muscle hunks he’s forced to face in the ring. His virginal mouth is now driven to coughing, screaming fits of profanity. His earnest faith in hard work and fair play are already corrupted. His values have been compromised. And he’s persistently a serious student of the science and art of professional wrestling, learning new holds and moves by the minute. So yeah, I’m still hopeful to see this skinny boy finally snap, in a good way. Scratch an undersized gay kid with a lust for wrestling and there’s GOT to be a subterranean volcano of anger, frustration, and unresolved grudges bubbling just beneath the surface. One of these days, little Charlie Evans is going to climb into the ring with a contemptuous, musclebound, captain of the football team, Greek god of an opponent and fuck him up on behalf of all of us who were ever shoved into the lockers, wedgied, taunted and tormented back in the day.
“Say ‘I’m a little red-headed bitch!'” Gunner demands. “Say, ‘I’m worthless!'”
Feel the power of the dark side coursing through your veins, young padawan.
I admit to having quickly developed an infatuation with Chase Addams. I’ve indulged that infatuation with conducting now three interviews, all for a rookie wrestler with just that same number of published matches. There are many elements to what intrigues and seduces me about the Charming One. Of course there’s the hot, lean body and those oft-mentioned nipples. You don’t have to scratch beneath my surface far to know that any openly gay wrestler who seriously loves professional wrestling will hold my attention. He wrestles an excellent story, too. But there’s still more that keeps me coming back for more. So little wonder, given the opportunity, I sat Charming Chase down at BG East during my visit this summer and put him on the record and on audio this time.
Chase Addams cocks an eye at his #1 blogger fan
In the first portion of our conversation, I learned a little about what a typical day of wrestling for BG East looks like for Chase. He discussed that breakout moment when wrestlers he’s crushed on from afar have returned the respect and interest. And Chase and I discuss which newbie BG East wrestler he and I (and apparently a broad swath of fans) currently hate on most.
Chase Addams Interview – Part 1:
Chase struts his stuff in Bard-approved gear
As our conversation continued, Chase offered his take on what it’s like to be surrounded by smoking hot gay wrestlers roaming the grounds of BG East all at one time (from which the title of this post comes). And Chase gives some insight into what it’s like to go all out to pry an opponent apart piece by piece, and then find yourself hanging out between the matches at a later date.
Chase Addams Interview – Part 2:
Finally, Chase gave me a glimpse into the headspace it takes for him to prepare for a match. We speculate on which merit badges you can earn at a taping as we explore an extended metaphor of BG East to summer camp. We conclude with attempting to speculate how it could be possible to oversell the promise, potential, and pure wrestling entertainment value of Chase Addams.
Chase: “I’ve got to find a new way to make this innovative and to make this interesting.”
Chase: “Ace Aarons… he’s going to be there!? And he wants to wrestle me!?”
Chase: [On seeing Charlie Evans after they wrestled in Ring Rookies 5] “I think I could have broken his neck and come back and he’d still make eye contact with me. He’s just that kind of person.”
Chase: “It’s like an orgy all day long.”
Chase: “I’m not high on my own hype. I just know what I’m capable of. I’m just that good.”
A recurring theme here has been my perpetual self-reflection on what it is about homoerotic wrestling that speaks to me. A regular point of perseveration has been what makes a wrestling match particularly “homoerotic.” I can get off on mainstream straight pro wrestling probably almost as much as the next guy, but my bread and butter continues to be this particular industry marketed specifically to gay men. And I know that within this industry, there are straight wrestlers, and the erotic heat that emanates from a lot of matches is what I’m bringing to it as a viewer. And I’m okay with that, as long as the whole interaction effect isn’t cloaked in a closeted wink-wink, where the producer and we know that this is marketed with a gay eye in mind, but the whole thing is kept strictly on the straight side of the fence so that a fan can exercise plausible deniability if they’re caught with an incriminating browser history (“I was just checking out some underground pro, bro”). Yawn.
Richie Douglas won this match the moment he realized how much Goren Ford wanted his body.
But it also isn’t just an issue of wrestlers pulling out their porn-ready cocks and wrestling hard and naked. Though there’s nothing wrong with that, as far as I’m concerned. In fact, I’m advocating for more straight forward naked wrestling, not just the last 2 minutes of a match before it devolves into out of control face sucking (not that I have any problem with that, either!). But what I key off of isn’t just the explicit homoeroticism of naked bodies, by any means. There’s this sweet spot right in the middle of straight-up pro with me supplying all of the erotic subtext, and hardcore porn with a clumsy grapple as appetizer.
It’s sexy because of intention and attention. Like when a wrestler acknowledges that his opponent looks hot. The phrase, “Nice ass,” or “sweet pecs,” is pure gold when it comes to dialing a match squarely into the territory that grabs me hard. Of course a “no-homo” disavowal will totally kill that buzz, but happily I see less and less of that in the wrestling I watch these days. They don’t have to get their dicks out. Just notice, appraise the obvious assets of an opponent, and you’ve drawn me into the match. I’m invested 10 times more if the wrestlers state the obvious fact that they are both gorgeous specimens. I never see this in straight-up pro (not that I watch it much anymore), and I think it’s an angle that’s probably even more disruptive of heteronormativity than even getting your gear ripped off. Guys look at guys. Guys appreciate guys. Guys can be turned on by getting their hands on guys. The eroticism peaks long before (and even in the absence of) any cum being added to the recipe.
I’ve mentioned before that I regularly push rewind around the time I get to more explicit sexual content at the end of harder-core matches. Like when I was following Naked Kombat, I would skim over the sex round to see if anyone comes close to Rusty Stevens’ perfect mix of corporal punishment, humiliation, and wrestling domination (naked pony rides, leg scissor armbars used like an accelerator pedal to taunt, tease, and torment a loser by commanding them to jack off just shy of orgasm again and again). The fucking itself, even the acrobatic, artistic fucking of professional porn stars who somehow are able to stretch and maneuver into positions that I’m pretty sure would dislocate multiple joints if I attempted them, comes across as downright pedestrian to me. The erotic heat is the sweat-inducing wrestling competition. It’s the suspense and the battle. It’s the passion to dominate knowing that the loser is going to get fucked, rather than the loser getting fucked, in and of itself.
So I love the story of a wrestler having to battle with his own lust to stay focused on beating his opponent. The erotic offense of one hunk destroying his opponent’s defenses with a nibble of the ear or a stroke of his hot body strikes me as the height of homoerotic. There’s a fantastic, frustrating, intensely provocative tease near the end of some matches where the lines between competition and giving in to total lust get so blurred that I can’t tell what’s an openly erotic trap and what’s just mutual submitting to the intimate passion of bodies grinding into bodies. So when one wrestler is ready to just get down to hooking up, and the other is just playing along long enough to snap shut a sleeper, or pound out a finishing OTK, or slip on a knee-breaking figure-4 leglock for the final, screaming, totally vulnerable submission, fuck that puts me over. Whipping out cocks and sucking and fucking at that point is totally vanilla, as far as I’m concerned. I’m pushing rewind to watch that look of shock wash across the loser’s face when he realizes his lust just walked him by the nose into becoming the property of his new master.
My tastes are broad and varied. I can get off on a wide spectrum of homoerotic content, from barely implied by the copyright holder to blistering hot fuck stakes consummated. But that sweet spot that I crave most in the middle of the normal distribution is unmistakable, and yet resists the easy out of sliding too quickly into hardcore porn. It’s an open nod to me, the audience, and an intentional grappling with the erotic potential between two smoking hot hunks hell bent on dominating one another. It’s a look, a groan, a nibble, a slap, a gasping grope, an unfocused reverie. It’s stating the obvious, that two barely clad studs pounding, grinding, and crushing into one another is potently intimate and powerfully arousing. Guys like guys. Wrestling ensues….
I told you that last batch of BG East contraband was the fucking motherload, now didn’t I? Just to add context, this 3rd installment is still not all of it. It is, however, sweet, because of all the smuggled goods that OMI dishes out, my favorites are always the captured moments of my favorite BG East wrestlers relaxed, chilling, smiling, clearly enjoying themselves apart from the drama in the ring. These are the shots that make me admire these hotties that much more because they’re unpackaged, (relatively) candid, and somehow make them that much more crushworthy because they’re real. Speaking of crushworthy…
Fuck, every last one of these boys are adorable. No game face. No bloodlust. Just hot young hunks who can beat the living fuck out of each other one minute, and then kick back and chill when all is said and done.
I think this batchlet speaks to OMI as much as it does to the sensationally tasty hunks featured. We know precious little about the identity of OMI, but I can’t help but infer that he is equally as infatuated with Mad Mykel’s ass and Chase Addams nipples as I am. Just as an aside, Mad Mykel has made some tragic gear choices in the past, but I am incredibly anxious to get to see him in action in this jungle boy loin cloth.
And finally this last subcollection for the day features sizzling hotness all around, including the most elusive interview get of my blogging career, Kid Vicious. I’ve begged, borrowed, and stolen to convince KV to sit down with me for an interview. I’ve made promises. I’ve done favors. I’ve had him halfway to the table on at least a couple of occasions, only to have the most vicious tease in the business take a call and turn away at the last minute. I’m still working on figuring out who I have to fuck to get him on the record with me, but once I do, you’ll be the next to know.
I know for a fact that OMI has been taking some heat, in cognito, from the powers that be at BG East for his corporate espionage/fan fantasy fulfillment. Send your kindest wishes and prayers for safety to the homoerotic wrestling gods that OMI remains our man inside. And pass along the word to anyone you know with strings to pull that Kid Vicious gives that sit-down soon.
I know of wrestlers who nearly lost their balls getting caught smuggling behind-the-scenes pics out of BG East shoots, so I continue to applaud Our Man Inside (OMI) who once again has dropped a manilla envelope full of random, unpublished BGE candids on my doorstep. This envelope was huge, so I’ll try to refrain from taking up too much space with my comments or speculations. Though, who am I kidding? I can’t restrain myself from speculating. In any case, OMI, you are my hero!
First up, we’ve got a whole bevy of poolside hotness. I have not appreciated Mad Mykel’s magnificent ass nearly enough until now. On the other hand, Ty Alexander and Richie Douglas’ asses have been on my radar for years. Honestly, who do I need to fuck to get to see more of Richie Douglas incredibly tasty body!? And ever a safety nut, I hope Mykel, Ty and Richie know that I’ve got to hands and a bottle of sunscreen at the ready. Anytime.
Next up, we get a sensationally rare treat of unpublished photos from the BG East ring. I’m instantly titillated by the site of an as-yet-unreleased match pitting papa Shane McCall ripping my long-time infatuation, Drake Marcos, limb from limb. The double team by Kayden Keller and Jonny Firestorm Camel-Crabbing flyweight phenom Charlie Evans is instantly huge drama making my mouth water. But holy fuck, I need to send OMI a gift basket as gratuity for a couple of extremely rare action pics of Kayden working over the stunningly handsome, hot as fuck classic hunk and declared man-of-my-dreams, a contemporary Scott Williams. Please, homoerotic wrestling gods, hear my prayer that this foreshadows new releases starring the Man of My Dreams!!!
So it appears OMI may be a creeper with sensationally good taste, because this next batch has a ton of BGE stars in various states of sleeping, waking, or possibly just cuddling in bed. Such intimate vulnerability. So many slack, supine, defenseless hunks on display. I have an incredibly strong urge to slide under the covers with Kayden and spoon him awake.
This next batch I’ve filed under “letting their hair down.” As I’ve said often, there’s something potently sexy about seeing the ring warriors of my homoerotic fantasies with their guards down, relaxed, happy, and as is evident in these stolen shots, abundantly goofy. And the goof-in-chief most definitely appears to be The Boss himself, who I hope to the homoerotic wrestling gods never finds out who dished me these cutting room floor shots of him hamming it up. This also reminds me, why haven’t we seen more of sensationally hot boybander, Baby Boy Nino Leone?
Finally, this last batch of relatively random shots I’ve compiled under the heading of BGE boys doing what they do best, namely, looking gorgeous. Reigning HWOTMChase Addams eats shirtless, Drake rehydrates after that match with Papa Shane, and KL, Kayden and Charlie prove how devastatingly handsome they look all cleaned up. And then there’s Ty, Kayden and Jonny looking like they’re acting a Shakespearean scene. Shirtless, of course.
Again, OMI, my deepest gratitude and promise of pseudo-journalistic integrity when it comes to never, ever, under any circumstances up to and including corporal torture, will I disclose anything I know about your true identity. Keep the good times and behind the scenes goodies coming. And all of you BGE boys outed for your handsome smiles and adorability in stolen moments of candid life, keep looking gorgeous. Don’t change a thing.
The waning days of the month are here, and I still have yet to anoint a new reigning Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month for an appearance in a new release in April. Checking the archives, this time of year appears to often be a time when I get behind the eight ball on these self-imposed deadlines. In any case, I technically have 2 and a half more days to get this done, so let’s do this. Tons of great wrestling in April turned my crank hard, but truth be told, none turned my crank harder than one particular match I’ve spoken about at length. And by the slimmest margins, I’m calling the hairs breadth difference in delightful sell between the two opponents for one particular, inspiring young hunk…
Check my review of Ring Rookies 5 as well as my recent interview with the Charming One himself for a more exhaustive breakdown of what got me off so fiercely about Chase’s wrestling in this new release. I went back and forth quite a while deciding whether Charlie Evans should get the laurel wreath for the sensationally sexy beating he takes like a pro. As readers point out to me often, in takes two to tango, and there’s something patently artificial about being infatuated with a match but singling out just one opponent for top honors. So let me assure little Charlie that his breathtaking Ginger Snaps, Ginger Bombs, and squeezably sexy ass get credit for at least a bucket full of the sweat and cum this match wringed out of me.
Savoring the moment
Chase edged Charlie out by my fascination with watching the Charming One savor the erotic moments in this match. Of course, I totally get it when a pro wrestler heaps contempt upon an opponent. Swollen egos and raw ambition make the pro wrestling world go round. But this is homoerotic wrestling for a gay audience, and I prefer to watch more complex motivations play themselves out. As Chase confirmed in our interview, it was teasingly apparent as he hovered over and stroked and squeezed Charlie’s bon-bon body that Chase was transparently turned on by the wounded Ginger Warrior. When he’s left Charlie good and vulnerable, nearly defenseless, he frequently takes the time to seductively mount him. He dives in, his lips grazing Charlie’s neck and ears.
9/10ths of the law
It’s tender, which makes sense in the context of this match because Chase can afford to be tender when he’s laid waste to Charlie. There’s a strong hit of the rights of ownership, as Chase tenderizes his opponent and then leans in close to smell the dish in progress. He manages the two agendas with mature skill, both conquering the challenger trying to steal some of his spotlight, as well as taking carnal pleasure from the alabaster flyweight with the sweet as honey ass. That open nod to the eroticism of wrestling is always immense value added for me.
It takes effort to sell this well
I’m also perennially drawn to wrestlers who get wrestling. Chase and Charlie are both workhorses in the match. As Chase alluded to in the interview, Charlie is marked up like a AAA triptik, because whatever behind the curtain choreography, these boys genuinely pounded and pried each other apart. The sweat looks legitimately earned. The flying soars. The power moves explode. The endurance holds linger long and hard, and the submissions scream in pain. I’ve got an overwhelming desire to oil them both down naked by the end of the match and massage every aching bruise and taxed muscle. Nobody’s bored, not Charlie, not Chase, and most definitely not me, and I respect the fuck out genuine wrestlers working their asses off.
Picture this entirely naked.
I try not to let factors outside of a match influence my HWOTM calls, but I will freely confess that it definitely didn’t hurt Chase’s chances that he continued to charm the pants off of me in our interview last week. Thinking of Ring Rookies 5 as one more step on Chase’s trajectory toward becoming a full on erotic heel makes me see his battle with Charlie in a way that I just can’t unsee now. The image of a full on naked Will Breaker has been haunting my dreams ever since it came up in my conversation with him. And did you notice those last words he spoke to me in that interview? No, this isn’t the first time that a wrestler has been elevated in my rankings as a result of a beautifully executed charm offensive.
Going for the gold
I continue to keep an eye on his young career for a half a dozen different compelling reasons (see how long I managed to refrain from mentioning his nipples!?). I enjoy his energy, his style, his ambition, his holds, and yes, his look. I predict an easy HWOTM title split between the two of them (for only the second time in history) should Chase and Dark Charlie become that erotic heel tag team that I crave. In the mean time, join me in getting your pants charmed off by my newest two-time homoerotic wrestler of the month, Chase Addams.
Chase Addams – Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month – April 2017
Last month’s release of Ring Rookies 5 marked the sophomore appearance of Chase Addams at BG East. He made a big impression on me in his debut last summer as a newbie featured in an unprecedented two matches on one DVD in Tag Team Torture 19. When I got the chance to interview him and his already-former tag team partner, Ty Alexander, I could easily see why Chase has already earned the defining adjective of “charming.” Frankly, I’ve been jonesin’ to see Charming Chase climb into the ring again, and was delighted as fuck to finally get my wish granted in his fantastic match against another hot rookie charmer, Charlie Evans. Having formally reviewed the match earlier, I was further thrilled to get Charming Chase on the line for another interview, breaking down his most recent ring performance and speculating on all things homoerotic wrestling.
Charming Chase Addams
Bard: Chase Addams, welcome back to my interview chair! What have you been up to since we spoke last summer?
Chase: Thanks Bard, I haven’t been up to too terribly much. I’ve moved from the country to the city recently, more people who wrestle and hone my craft with.
Bard: Congratulations on the move. Lucky urbanites who now have the opportunity to get into your wrestling schedule! I also remember a sensationally intense promo you posted on Facebook around the New Year. As I remember, that video caught a whole lot attention, including from The Boss himself.
Chase: Ah, yes, the reaction video. It was less a promo and more so a stream of consciousness. I was just giving my honest feedback on how I felt the results from the “end of year” voting came out. I may or may not have called out some people and thrown some others under the bus.
Bard: Congratulations on the huge success that your Tag Team Torture 19 did in the polls. Best Ring Match and Best Overall Match for your first on camera appearances at BG East is an epic achievement. As I recall, from your video reaction, you weren’t quite satisfied, though. You took issue with Beauxregard edging you out for Best Debut, and even called out Jonny Firestorm for coasting to the Top Heel award.
Beauxregard – Debut of the Year 2016
Chase: What can I say? Fans certainly have their tastes, Beaux and I definitely appeal to two very different customers. I’m the young, thin, crafty grappler, and he is the big muscle daddy. BG does its best to please everyone. As a mutual friend pointed out, Beaux is willing to get naked in every match. I’m not about that life personally. I won’t say it will never happen, but when it does, I want it to be especially memorable. Beaux is almost a reminder of someone like BBW, so while I’m not “okay” losing the vote to him, I can rationalize it. Jonny is a little different. Jonny is someone that I always looked up to and aspired to be like even before I stepped foot into a BG ring. He’s undoubtedly one of the top heels of the company, which is why I called him out. When you need to make a name for yourself, you call out the biggest dog in the yard and you put him down.
Bard: That sounds like a mature response to a disappointing loss in the polls. As for you wrestling naked, let me just be the first to say, “yes, please!” A little tease can definitely make the gift that much more enjoyable to unwrap. Just don’t tease us forever. Gay wrestling fans are notoriously fickle.
Chase: [laughing] Our community does have a thing for instant gratification. There is no patience anymore. Oh, fuck, no, we are completely intolerant of delayed gratification these days. Alas.
Biggest dog in the yard Jonny Firestorm
Bard: I love that you’ve got your sights set on Jonny. And again, it sounds like you’ve made a mature, careful calculation that getting the respect you feel you deserve requires you to take on the best. Speaking of delays and prolonged teases, it seemed to me like there was a long delay between your debut DVD last summer and your follow-up appearance with BG East just a couple of weeks ago.
Chase: Yeah, how about that? Patience is a virtue, but even I was starting to get a little curious as to what was going on. I have learned that they try to group similar matches together for a DVD, such as tag team torture or backyard brawl. And to be fair, I have shown up with some “new” match ideas, and I can now see the problem with those being that there aren’t other like-matches to group them with onto a single DVD. Perhaps I can film a few more unique matches, and they can just put a compilation of them together and call it Chase’s Charm School.
Taking Charlie to charm school
Bard: Damn, that’s… a fantastic idea! And I love that you’re already picturing yourself as the anchor of a franchise. I reviewed your Ring Rookies 5 match recently, and needless to say, I loved it. A lot. With just 3 matches in your catalog so far, already 2 of them are grudge matches. Is that first tag team loss going to haunt you forever, do you think?
Christian Taylor’s “pretty little head”
Chase: I feel like “haunt” isn’t the best word to use. If I was being haunted by something, it would be terrorizing me. Personally I feel like those three who got in my way in the tag team match are the ones who should be hiding from me. Ty and Charlie have already fallen victim. If Christian knows what’s good for him, he will stay off my radar. That being said, I really hope he flies onto my radar.
Bard: It’s certainly true you’ve picked off both Ty and now Charlie in singles competition, and I’d pay money to see BGE’s resident kissing champ, Christian Taylor, face down your Will Breaker again. Fuck, I’d pay triple if that were to turn into your first full Monty match.
Chase: Who knows. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. Christian has to rear his pretty little head first. If he doesn’t, there are a few others I’ve been scoping out as possibilities.
Bard: Sweet homoerotic wrestling gods, I’m just picturing Christian, stripped naked, trussed up in your Will Breaker. Fuck, talk about a haunting image. I will use every Jedi mind trick at my disposal to get that match to happen. Your match against adorable Charlie Evans certainly turned brutal, now didn’t it?
Chase: What I wouldn’t do to get my hands all over Charlie Evans all over again.
Chase gets his hands all over Charlie
Bard: I definitely noted that you seemed to enjoy your hands lingering on Charlie’s tight, taut little muscles. Am I correct that wrestling Charlie was turning you on?
Chase: I will let you decide for yourself.
Bard: Well, if it were up to me, that match would’ve been both your and Charlie’s full Monty debut. I’m a big fan of the fiery, earnest little Ginger Warrior for a lot of reasons. What is about Charlie that inspired you to stroke and squeeze and sample his flyweight body?
Eyes on the prize
Chase: He’s just so innocent and pure… I want to corrupt him.
Bard: [laughing] Fuck, that’s hot. He does have a bit of Dudley Do-right about him, doesn’t he? I’ve been crushing on his tight ass for a long time, so I just have to ask what it was like digging your fingertips into those sweet, snowy white cheeks?
The dance
Chase: Like I said, I’d do anything to get my hands back on him. I feel like I will someday. Charlie and I have debuted together, and I feel like we’re going to be doing this dance together for a long time to come.
Bard: I’m infatuated by your infatuation! As you know, I’ve been following this industry fanatically for a long time, and I think it’s about time we saw a premier young wrestler who is primarily motivated to climb back into the ring by pure lust. I love the bro-downs, the macho need to be top dog and all of that, but a sexy young stud who just wants to conquer an opponent in order to satisfy erotic desire is so needed in this business! We should be clear that Charlie was most definitely no pushover against you, though.
Ginger tricks
Chase: Charlie caught me off guard for sure. Those same tricks won’t happen again. He had better learn new tricks or be waiting for me on a silver platter.
Bard: I think you and Charlie also have in common an honest appreciation for the science and art of pro wrestling. You both take a lot of pride in innovating and branding your signature moves. His Ginger Snap is one of the sexiest maneuvers I’ve seen in a long time. But he couldn’t pull that move off on you a second time.
Chase: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. He’s definitely going to think twice before attempting that again with me.
Ginger Snap Interrupted
Bard: Your counter to his Ginger Snap was a sight to behold. For fans who haven’t seen it, just as Charlie went in for a handstand, locking his legs around your head to snap you head over heels to the mat, you actually grab him around the back and pull him up onto your chest, your face buried in his crotch. The lingering pause right at the moment is sooooo sexy. But I’m sure you’re right, he won’t soon forget you power slamming him to his back from 6 feet in the air.
Chase: I do like to leave a mark.
Bard: Fuck, his porcelain white skin is so marked up with hot, fire engine red marks by the end of that match. I loved getting another look at your Will Breaker. Actually, you tie Charlie up twice in that gravity defying hold. I count 3 times you’ve applied the Will Breaker on camera, and you’ve milked out a screaming submission every time. Do you think of that as your signature move?
Will Breaker
Chase: It’s weird to think of the Will Breaker as the signature move, because I can’t apply it on everyone. I learned that lesson the hard way when I was first learning how to do the move. I got overly ambitious with a guy who was a little heavier than I was and ended up in the ER. Suspending someone’s entire body weight isn’t easy. It’s a challenge of strength and balance.
Bard: Damn, that sounds like a hard lesson to have learned. I’m glad you came out of it to wrestle another day. You certainly have a deeper arsenal of holds than most rookies I’ve seen. Do you improvise a lot, based on what you encounter in the midst of the match, or are you more of a planner, climbing in with a game plan and executing it?
Chase: I go into each match with a plan, but as you saw with Charlie, sometimes I lose myself in the moment and go purely off instinct. I wasn’t planning on holding Charlie by the neck against me as I ran my free hand across his sexy body, but it happened in the moment, and I couldn’t have asked for anything better.
The art of improvisation
Bard: Well, that was inspired, as far as I’m concerned. I’ve gone on the record saying that I think pristine little Charlie could very well snap at some point at show us a truly momentous heel turn for the ages. You place-kicking him in the balls, nibbling on his ear, putting him out cold in a figure-4 choke have got to help that process along. What do you think of the idea of Charlie turning dark?
Chase: I’d love to be the one to help him find that inner darkness.
Bard: Would you ever team up again for a tag match, say with Dark Charlie, or did Tag Team Torture 19 spoil you for team efforts?
Chase: Well, I’ll never say never
Bard: So you’ve got your sights set on Jonny, you could poke the bear that is Beauxregard, and you fully expect to find Charlie in your orbit in the future. Who else do you think could end up being another stepping stone along your path to conquer BG East?
#1 Jayden Mayne
Chase: Jayden Mayne will forever remain my number one most desired opponent. I have always been a huge fan of his work. There are others who I feel are in everyone’s sights like Kid Karisma (and for good reason). Two new people who I’ve seen that I really enjoyed was Cap Landon and Zip Zarella. Joey King is also one who would be fun. Outside of that there are some others who haven’t made a debut or even a recording yet, but I hear whispers of talks being done. I won’t divulge the rumor mill with any names since all I’ve heard are whisperings with no confirmations.
Bard: I’ll keep plying you with charm until I get your secrets out of you.
Chase: Hmm, out charming me? That’d be a first.
Bard: [laughing] I can always try. I love your short list of opponents to tackle. I’m a long-standing fan of Jayden, and I’m also a little instantly infatuated with Zip and Cap. I’ve seen some pretty fucking inspiring victory poses of you on your Facebook page, celebrating over the beaten bodies of some private opponents. Are your private matches an asset for your BG East work? Are you able to try out new holds, or do those tend to be less competitive?
Keeping on top of the local competition
Chase: The St. Louis wrestling community isn’t nearly as large as the ones in a place like Boston, so we are really closely knit group. We try to meet every few weeks to at least practice holds to make sure we’re not getting rusty or to try out new things. It’s pretty great.
Bard: I like hearing that there’s a camaraderie there. That definitely sounds like an asset. Speaking of assets, I don’t know that I’ve talked since you were my personal pick for Best Nipples of 2016. I hope all the attention on our nips doesn’t end up making them a target for future opponents.
Chase: I don’t mind having a target on me. Comes with being the best.
Chase a couple of days ago, in fighting shape
Bard: Well, in that case, consider me painting two targets right there across your hot chest! There’s definitely a whole different line of offense for wrestling in homoerotic circles when compared to mainstream pro. I know you’re a fanatical student of pro, but when it comes to underground gay, do you feel like you’re well-prepared for the nipple torture, ball bashing, cock stroking angles that some BG East matches hinge upon?
Chase: I’m more than ready.
Bard: Sensational! I’m looking forward to it. As both a wrestler and a fan, are there aspects of wrestling that you find a particular turn on? Particular holds? Body types? Character types?
Chase: I just love the psychological aspect. The hunter/prey thing peaks my “interest.”
That moment a predator sinks his teeth into his prey
Bard: I hear you. The drama of the conquest sorts me right out. Some hot, cocky wrestler getting broken and owned is definitely “interesting” to me. Which I think is what grabs me so hard with your career thus far. Your last two matches are so motivated. You walk in with a point to make, and bit by bit, hold by hold, you make it. With a few matches now under your belt, what advice would you give to total newbies just about to sign up for their first BG East match?
Chase: [laughing] Stay out of my way or be bent into a pretzel.
Bard: That sounds like sage advice that I most certainly hope that no one follows! Is there anything more you can tell fans about your plans for upcoming matches? Any new holds you’re working?
Chase: Oh, I’m always working on new holds and things of that nature. I can’t go into details about upcoming releases, but like I said earlier, I film “unique” matches which is why my releases are kind of spread out. Just know that when my name is placed in the catalog that I’m about to steal the show.
Bard: Well, my heart pumps faster when I see a new release with your name on it. You continue to be charming, as advertised. I want to thank you for returning to my interview chair again. I hope it won’t be the last time.
Chase Addams and Charlie Evans take one another on without tag team partners
The size of my excitement for the release of Ring Rookies 5 is HUGE. I have choice words to say about all 3 matches, but the first match on the collection gets the credit for most of my massive excitement. Both Charlie Evans and Chase Addams have held my lustful attention both by impressing the fuck out of me in their dual debut tag team match last summer, as well as by charming the pants off of me in interviewsafterward. Both boys are virtually dripping with youth and ambition. Each in his own way embodies outrageously attractive earnestness and downright devotion to the science and art of professional wrestling. I’ve been eagerly awaiting both boys’ follow-up matches after making such notable debuts in 2016. And there’s already a grudge to get this ball rolling. FUCK, I love backstory. I love a grudge. I love character motivation and a well-told story. And I go absolutely nuts for all of that successfully executed by two doe-eyed babies with fully formed personalities and seriously deep wrestling arsenals.
Potently packed
When it comes to fuckability, I’ll take one of each of these hot little cuts of veal. Actually, I’ll take two of Charlie, because he’s small. Which makes it that much more of a cheek that the ginger phenom is smirking like the Cheshire Cat, downright gloating to start things off, still basking in the afterglow of securing a debut ring victory as one half of the All-American babyface heroes from Tag Team Torture 19. True, he’s physically dwarfed by Chase’s 40 pound (or thereabouts) advantage in weight. But Charlie is so sensationally puffed up and proud of himself, squaring off against an opponent who, last he saw, was flat on his back, out cold, and suffering a totally humiliating defeat at the hands of the All-Americans. There’s something so upright and earnest about Charlie, that it makes it that much more delightful to observe him catch the whiff of fresh meat in his rookie rival. He beat him once, he argues, so he’s entirely confident that he can do it again.
Charming Chase has other plans for Charlie
Charming Chase is none too pleased to hear Charlie claiming credit for having beaten him at the end of TTT19. Apparently, Chase’s ego is strong enough to admit to being defeated by the long, handsome hotness of seasoned veteran Christian Taylor serving as Charlie’s tag team partner. But it gets under Chase’s skin to see the ginger flyweight all full of swagger and cockiness as if he gets any credit at all for that debut loss. The table is thus set. Without their tag team partners to rely on (or, in Chase’s case, get pissed off at), which of these ambitious, studious, sincere-as-fuck young studs is the better man, here at the start of their careers?
Charlie gets a taste of power
As an avid fan of both of these hotties, I’m torn. On the one hand, Charlie is too fucking good to believe. Did you read that interview I did with him?! He makes Dudley Do-right look like a homicidal crack whore. By the time I was done with my sit-down with the ginger newbie, I felt like I needed to wrap him up in cellophane and put him upon a shelf so that he wouldn’t melt from an errant splash of water, he was just that fucking sweet. So a doe-eyed, alabaster complexioned, flyweight pretty boy with that little guile and that much sincerity has got just one of two futures in store for him in a world like BG East. He’s either going to be the bug on the windshield, squashed over and over and over again into oblivion, or he’s going to snap and turn into a bubbling cauldron of bitterness and viciousness. He’s either doomed, day in and day out, or he’s going to be ripping balls off and shoving them down some throats before too long. He doesn’t seem to see it, but I can’t help but think that enough time in pro wrestling, exploited and bullied and cheated left and right by the heels circling every rare babyface at BGE, and those high flying, high risk moves of his are going to be accompanied by deeply sadistic, bully-bashing rage once he comes eye to eye with that inevitable reality that cheaters don’t just prosper in this business, they fucking rule.
Chase looks like he loves his work
So, on the one hand, I’m pulling hard for Charlie to break open that full force can of whoop ass with which, I predict, he has a date with destiny. On the other hand, I really, really want to take Charming Chase out for a test drive on and open track and see just how much damage this prodigy of wrestling holds can do. I’m still, to this day, 10 months later, shaking my head and gasping at his Will Breaker that he whipped out of nowhere and tied up Christian Taylor with in TTT19. Where the FUCK does a debuting rookie get a move like that to slap down in the chaos and craziness of a tag team match?! Even in his grudge sequel to the tag team match, in which he settles the score with the shattered remains of his partnership with Ty Alexander, there’s something coldly calculating about Chase. He’s supremely in control of himself. He’s wound up tight as a drum. He likes to put the hurt on, but I don’t know that I’ve seen him love it yet. So, yeah, I’m wanting to see Charming Chase really, really sink his teeth in deep and love the taste of a dominating ring beatdown.
Charlie rains down Ginger Bombs
Charlie and Chase deliver everything that I’m hoping for, even as ambivalent as those hopes are. Unfortunately for Chase, Charlie seems to ride the momentum from their last encounter into the opening minutes of Ring Rookies 5. Chase tries bullying the little guy about a bit, but with decisiveness and pristine, youthful confidence, young Charlie suddenly shocks and awes the shit out of his bigger opponent. There’s a studied patience about Charlie’s offense that I love watching. He knows he isn’t delivering any finishing blows seconds in, with his 128 pounds of whittled bone and muscle. But he isn’t trying to put him away. With wisdom significantly beyond his years, he’s softening the Charming One up. He drives body blocks and splashes bluntly into Chase’s torso, backed into a corner and receiving flyweight blow after blow. When Chase has been bulldogged into the middle of the ring, Charlie repeatedly bounces off the ropes and does mid-air summersaults, allowing gravity and centripetal force to pound his paperweight of a body surgically into Chase’s gut, again, and again. “I call this the Ginger Bomb!” Charlie crows, as excited to name his innovations as his opponent is. There’s nothing devastating like a sledgehammer about them. Charlie’s just too slight of frame. But every shoulder block, every Ginger Bomb, chips away bit by bit at Chase’s reserves. With his opponent thus dazed and sucking on air, Charlie expertly positions Chase for that fucking fabulous Ginger Snap that he debuted in TTT19. Honestly, it’s gorgeous. Handstand. Headscissors. Charlie jackknives violently, yanking Chase by the base of the skull, off his feet, flipping through the air and slamming violently down on his back. Damn. Once Charlie is seduced by the dark side, the rest of you boys at BG East had better watch your backs!
Charlie snaps into position to deliver a devastating Ginger Snap
And then Charlie snaps his skinny legs (his term, not mine) around Chase’s torso and squeezes whimpers out of his completely dazed opponent. Charlie arches high, bearing down like a mother fucker on Chase’s kidneys, and showing of his own gorgeous, smooth form. It’s like poetry, watching him twist violently to the side and roll Chase head over heels all around the ring. It’s gloating and domineering. It’s gratuitous and just a little gleeful. By the time he folds up all 6 feet of Charming Chase up in half and pins his shoulders to the mat, there’s one undeniable fact laid bare in the middle of that ring: Charlie Evans just executed the long game to out-hustle and, yes, out-muscle a significantly bigger opponent and score what can only be described as a shocking first fall pin.
Charlie tilt-a-whirls Chase around in body scissors
I say “shocking,” because just like me, Charming Chase cannot fucking believe what just happened. “No, no, no, no, that did NOT just happen!” Chase roars, face blood red, charging to his feet after Charlie lets him go. “I did NOT just lose to you!” he insists. “Oh,” Charlie downright smirks in his face, “it happened. You were there. I was there. It happened.” Savor that moment of condescension, Charlie. When you’re teetering on the edge of turning full on evil, sometime soon I hope, just remember that taste, my ginger bon bon.
Charming Rage
Rage in the pro wrestling ring is a double edged sword. Many a wrestler has been so blinded by vengeful rage in the ring that a savvy opponent has turned that passion right back onto itself, exploiting the rush to judgment and easy fixes to string the bull up for good in the end. When Chase starts beating the fuck out of little Charlie, I’m withholding judgment as to whether this is the tide turning, or simply the means to the Charming One’s undoing, yet again. In the mean time, Chase scoops, slams, and stomps the living shit out of the ginger flyweight. It makes sense to exploit a height and weight advantage, but there’s something bitterly cruel about the bell ringing he delivers. I honestly think he may snap Charlie’s arm off at the elbow in one of Chase’s infinite armbar variations. It makes Charlie’s tenor scream piercingly in panic. “What’s wrong?” the dastardly rookie heel taunts. “I thought you were the big hero of this story!”
The Will Breaker
I am in awe watching Chase get down to business. No tag team partner to joist egos with. No fresh opponent waiting on the apron. The Charming One just starts carving Charlie up like a super lean Thanksgiving turkey. He twists and ties, wrenches and rips him joint by joint. When he pries a screaming submission out with that Will Breaker again, it is every bit as awesome and mystifying as the first time I saw it. Such total vulnerability. Such complete torture. If you’re like me, your cock will demand that you push rewind and watch the spider spin that web again, but you don’t even have to. About 10 minutes later, Chase ties Charlie up in that Will Breaker all over again.
Chase develops a passion for this
Without having to share the stage, Chase demonstrates he knows a whole lot more tricks than we were treated to in TTT19. But that piece that I’ve been anxiously waiting to see from Chase, just the slightest release of his iron grip control over himself that he has, is the real revelation in this match. If I was left wondering if Chase more than just “likes” to make another man hurt, I’m not wondering any longer. He practically pours a glass of Charlie’s screaming tears and savors them like rare wine. When Charlie is good and tenderized, choking on his own humiliation and impotence, Chase hovers over him, lingering a little. He leans down across his back and looks like he’s nibbling on Charlie’s ear. He palms the ginger’s shoulder. Then his hand slides down Charlie’s brightly bruised back. With his other hand, he strokes the back of Charlie’s calf, sliding his fingers up the smooth inner thigh, before digging the tips of his fingers indulgently into Charlie’s vulnerable, tasty ass cheeks. No doubt, Chase wants the check in the victory column. He wants the win, and I am fully convinced he wants it with a passion. But even more exciting to watch, he wants that feel of an opponent laid bare underneath him. He wants a hot, tight, athletic, aesthetic body like Charlie’s to be at his mercy. He wants Charlie.
The Ginger Snap goes horribly awry (for Charlie)
There are high drama reversals of fortune. There’s a life lesson learned by Charlie about going to the well one too many times for that magnificent Ginger Snap. And without a doubt, there’s exactly one rookie with his score settled, and his opponent out cold and rode hard, when this is all said and done.
Every which way
I know I use the word too often, and I’ve used it way too often in this review already, but I just have to repeat myself: FUCK! Charlie and Chase are so deeply respectful of the genre of professional wrestling. They quite clearly enter their careers with adamant respect for how wrestling works, how it possesses its fans, how it engages us heart, soul, mind, and cock. Honestly, in half of homoerotic wrestling matches these days, you can count the number of unique holds applied on one hand. And then these sensationally tasty young bucks step into the ring and put on a wrestling clinic like this!
Delivering a message
And I’ve restrained myself thus far, but I have to conclude with saying yet again, these guys are sexy as fuck. Chase’s body is meaty and provocative, and those nipples I’ve crushed on before exponentiate the raw eroticism of this highly technical match. And Charlie’s sweet little ass is so sensational. I know there are bigger glutes. There are heftier bubble butts by far. But the gentle curve of Charlie’s alabaster ass is so proportional, so graceful. If the dark side of the Force doesn’t take him soon, that beautiful piece of art has got to get unwrapped and chomped on, because that ass has got to be driving some opponent as crazy as it is me.
Feel the Dark Side of the Force, my son
Outstanding work by two friends of this blog. And yet again, I can’t wait to see more of Charming Chase Addams’ passion. And I’m anticipating with every breath that moment when the dark side seduces Charlie Evans to suckle on the bitter rage that such total humiliation and degradation will inevitably lead him to.
The Best of BG East in 2016 has already been announced! Damn, that was fast. Clearly, I get into awards season heavily, so of course I need to debrief.
Biff’s ascendancy to the throne as Top Babyface is a remarkable rise for last year’s Debut of the Year winner. Seriously, we’ve been lusting after this gorgeous muscle man for less than two years! And just like that, he steps in, yanks the title from longtime title holder Jake Jenkins, and slaps JJ to the curb. There’s a reason that I let alliteration go fucking nuts when I’m talking about big, blond, blue-eyed, buff, bulging, beautiful babyfaced Biff.
With no defending title holders in the pool, Chace LaChance muscled his washboard right onto the throne as having the best abs. I had guessed that Chace might leverage his army of body worshipping fans to fill this vacuum.
Fuck, yeah! I have been arguing for years that Kid Karisma had the best body from top to bottom, and I’m thrilled that the court of public opinion has finally agreed with me. Last year’s winner, Chace, wasn’t even nominated, which certainly begs the question of who would fans want to worship more today. And there’s absolutely no other possible way to resolve this question than a jock strap wrestling match in the ring. And I STILL say Kid K’s body would rock the competition out cold.
Honestly, I’m unaccustomed to being so much in the majority when it comes to the Besties. But like me, a whole lot of the rest of you also noticed Kirk Donahue’s gargantuan bulge this year. I can think of no hotter scenario than Pete Sharp and Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) coming back in 2017 for a 3 way bulge off.
I’m shocked and aroused to learn that Guido Genatto just got beaten by Jonny Firestorm for the title to Top Heel. I said that if anyone could do it, it would be Jonny. Guido is loud, and huge, and nasty, but Jonny just shut the Dirty Daddy up but good by taking the title.
Again, I say, fuck, yeah! At what point do we just name this the Kid Karisma award? I’m thrilled to be with the herd in getting behind (and I mean, close behind) Kid K’s glorious glutes for yet another year as Best Butt. I know of at least 2 former contenders who didn’t get nominated who are bitter as shit, but not me. I’m just leaning back, a little light headed, and soaking in the sight of the Eighth Wonder of the World, Kid K’s unsurpassed ass.
Again, I was consistent with the popular vote in calling Ty Alexander Top Jobber yet again. On the one hand, it’s a dubious distinction to be a Top Jobber repeat. No one exactly likes to lose, do they? On the other hand, a jobber of Ty’s quality can make even a train wreck of a match compelling. And I predict that if he keeps that bleach blond ‘do, he’ll get his ass spanked relentlessly yet again in 2017.
I hedged my bets big time in the Debut of the Year category, but true enough, my vote didn’t swing things Chase Addams’ way. Instead, it was one of the other hot newcomers I thought was in contention taking the title this year, rock hard Beauxregard. I love what he brings to the table, and I think all of BG East is better for it. I’m looking forward to seeing what big Beaux accomplishes in 2017.
Best Submission of 2016 – Jonny Firestorm & Calvin Haynes in Hunkbash 18
Congratulations to Jonny and Calvin for taking the enigmatic title of Best Submission of 2016. I had my eye on another contender, but it’s not so surprising that the bad ass who just took the title as Top Heel would lock down the Best Submission follow up. And there’s no arguing that he fucking brutalizes doe eyed babyface Calvin.
A hearty congratulations to Kayden Keller and Debut of the Year winner Beauxregard on taking home the title for Sexiest Match of the year. It was a scorching hot field of contenders, and though I didn’t side with the majority on this one, there’s no denying they slapped down what was almost certainly the most explicit, sweaty, sexy assed heel on heel beatdown of the year. Well earned praise for KayK and a super hot haul for Beaux’s first year in the business.
Best Ring Match of 2016 – Tag Team Torture 19 – Addams & Alexander vs. Evans & Taylor
I wasn’t playing coy with just how infatuated I was with this match, so I’m thrilled no end to see it take the Best Ring Match title. If even one of the four of these young studs was a weak link in the chain, a complex tag team melodrama like this could have easily been a dud. But every one of the wrestlers in this match earned every praise and every award it got. Now when do we get to see Team All-Americans tear into the tag team ranks again?
Best Squash of 2016 – Demolition 21 – LaCash vs. Sorell
Kip Sorell got squashed like a bug by Flash LaCash, and fans picked it as the best of 2016. I’m generally lukewarm on this genre in general, but I get it. This is a hot match. My vote went elsewhere, but I’m so not in the mainstream when it comes to squashes in general, I’m not too surprised.
Best Mat Match of 2016 – Undagear 25 – Andrews vs. Marcos
This was a close second choice for me, but I was irked not to get a chance to vote for what I thought was an even sexier Drake Marcos match. In any case, kudos to Drake and Ethan for nailing down this victory with gallons of sweat and tears and some damn fine mat wrestling. This was super competitive, brutal, and sexy as fuck.
Hottest Liplock of 2016 – Wet & Wild 8 – Taylor & Haynes
I didn’t vote with the majority in this category, either, but there’s no denying the remarkable passion in that pumping, grinding, grunting make out session between Christian Taylor and Calvin Haynes. I’m thrilled to see both Christian and Calvin starring in multiple award winners this year. And when it comes to liplocks, really… is anyone a loser?
Chace continued to show off his blazing fan power with a win in the category of Best Spotlight. I had this as a third place on my score card, so I clearly broke with the herd. But the definition of a wrestler spotlight is fan power, so congratulations to Chace and all of the opponents who made this DVD a winner.
Best Overall Match of 2016 – Tag Team Torture 19 – Addams & Alexander vs. Evans & Taylor
You don’t know how thrilled I am to see fans select the opening match of Tag Team Torture 19 as the Best Overall Match of 2016. It got universally rave reviews from all of us who take the time to blog about this stuff. I’m pleased as punch that fans were of like mind with us bloggers, and I hope it does nothing but push for more tag team matches, more selfies, and much, much more of Christian Taylor, Charlie Evans, Ty Alexander, and Chase Addams.
Congratulations to everyone who won, and to all the nominees. It was an outstanding year at BG East, precisely because everyone in front of the camera and everyone behind the camera did such an excellent job producing high quality homoerotic wrestling of that flavor that only BG East can quite manage. I would argue there are no losers here.
Sidelineland 