Lights Out

Hurricane Isaias put my lights out like Kayden Keller knocking Chase Addams’ block off in Learning the Ropes the Hard Way.

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Seriously, though, I’ve been cleaning the ruined food out of my freezer and sweltering sans air conditioning for way too long. 2020 has had us all over a barrel, but a global pandemic, worldwide protests over anti-Blackness, murder hornets, and the dumpster fire of the executive branch of government weren’t enough. The curse of 2020 thought I was getting a little too cocky with surviving the national economic collapse and actually getting shit done in my work-from-home office. So Isaias slapped me down hard, like Braden Charron dropping Jake Jenkins like a boss.

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Even now, my internet connection is thready, so let me just reiterate how I’m feeling as I wait for the cable company to get around to my neighborhood.

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Call Me Goldilocks

In our recent welcome-back interview, Ash DeLeon firmly urged me to check out Three-Way Thrash 5. It promised to check off every box on my homoerotic wrestling fantasy crush list. Fierce young hunks. Extensive back story. Full-throated, explicit eroticism. Extensive lip locks. Big vs. Little (vs. Medium). Honestly, it sounded almost too good to be true, not that I doubt Ash’s sincerity (honestly, he’s one of the most enthusiastically earnest wrestlers I’ve ever met!).

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Well, Ash can bend me over his knee and spank my ass for doubting him. I’ve soaked in Three-Way Thrash 5, toweled off, and re-hydrated, and now I’m very happy to report that it lives up to the hype!

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First of all, I marvel at the casting. Kayden Keller was well on his way to being the heel-to-beat when I started my hiatus about a year and a half ago. Between then and now, he’s emerged from his chrysalis as a fully formed, magnificently beautiful, definitively dominant boss. I can give first hand testimony that Kayden is a tall, physically imposing drink of water, but his adorable baby face defies his cruel, heel master persona.  In his baby heel days, I persistently questioned whether he had the true grit to climb the heel ranks, solely based on the mismatch between his big, bad boy body and his boy-next-door, albeit mischievous, face. Well, color me convinced, because KKel owns the ring; he owns Ash and Luke Reel. He’s clearly not one-dimensional, but he certainly looks like a 6’2″ muscled heel daddy who knows full well he’s living large and totally in charge of the deep, deep ranks of dominant heels at BG East.

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Then there’s Ash, himself. Fu-uck! He’s sporting a similar fiercely-bodied baby face vibe as Kayden. Seriously, he’s packing on mature, prime cut meat that seems almost out of place framed beneath a little boy face. Ash may decide he deserves a second swat at my ass, but I have to say I’m still deciding if I fully buy him as a hard core heel. He obviously sports a passion for dishing out pain, but even when he’s drilling an opponent relentlessly in the gut, he’s tends to color within the lines. What’s the character type of a vicious sadist rule follower? Whatever it is, it looks really, really good on Ash, affording him the air of a pit bull with a soft underside.

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And finally, Luke Reel is crack. Fuck me, what is it about this hunk that makes me so obsessed with him?! I mean, I actually know what it is, but it’s significantly greater than the sum of its parts. I’ve mused in the past about the roots of how shorter-than-average hotties are a special treat for me. Luke is just the perfectly proportioned, bite-sized morsel for my little-hunk wrestling fantasy. Speaking of biting, his ass is deliciously munchable. His legs are crazy thick and powerful, which makes his astonishing flexibility the extra icing on top of this mouthwatering beefcake. His tightly muscled torso and lightly hairy chest are vintage 70’s porn-ready. He’s handsome in an effortlessly sexy and self-possessed way, like he orders his Vesper martini shaken, not stirred.

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For a moment there, this nearly turned into an obsession-post about my addiction to Luke, but let me just return to giving props to Three-Way Thrash 5. Kayden is absolutely, completely, totally in charge, as he begins to mold Ash into the rising heel he longs to be. Sure, Ash is a naughty boy apprentice, like when he suggests his abs are sexier than Kayden’s. But Kayden literally takes him in hand when he starts to get ahead of himself and puts him in his place. Those moments of gentle, but absolute, control are frequent and the sexiest elements of this entire scene. KKel holds Ash by the chin and forces him to look him in the eye, until Ash breaks eye contact with his alpha. When he introduces Luke as Ash’s heel test dummy, Kayden holds Luke by the top of his head, like he’s palming a basketball, making him a beefy little puppet, turning his head this way and that to direct Luke’s attention. The heel daddy pries Ash’s head backward by a handful of hair, to position his mouth upward to receive KKel’s lips swooping down from above. At one point, Luke is painting by numbers, obeying Kayden’s instructions on just how deep to drill his punches into Ash’s gut, and Luke literally leans against Kayden’s leg and closes his eyes, adoring this closeness with his instructor even as he punches away. There’s so much unexpected tenderness, and it stops me in my tracks every time.

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Don’t let me mislead you, though. This match is mean as motherfucker. The explicit story is that Ash must prove himself worthy of Kayden’s tutelage by besting KKel’s sexy boy toy Luke, bought and paid for in Ultra Heels 6. Ash literally laughs at the the suggestion, protesting that Luke is “just so delicate.” At first. Of course Luke opens up a can of whoop ass on the applicant, albeit with a little help from his doting heel daddy. Luke pitching is intoxicating. He’s tentative, adorably checking with Kayden often to make sure he’s doing it right. “How am I doing,” he asks earnestly, looking up at his daddy even as he digs a claw in deep into Ash’s abs. “You don’t make such a bad heel, yourself,” Kayden sounds surprised, spoon feeding praise that Luke laps up. Turning his attention back to Ash, Luke snarls, “You still think I’m weak, bitch?” (sooooo fucking adorable).

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Ash is just too much for rookie Luke to handle, though. Kayden puts his finger on the scales frequently to even the odds for his pocket boy, but Ash is too much for little Luke to hold down for long. Ash keeps upending him, reversing, putting the pup to his back. “I’m disappointed in you,” Kayden chides him when Ash reverses him, folding Luke quite literally in half, pinning Luke’s ankles to the mat over his head (so fucking flexible!) and humping that gorgeous ass.

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I’ve also waxed poetic in the past about how the voyeur angle turns me on, so it should come as no surprise how hot I find it when Kayden is sitting back and watching the training session, and he starts stroking himself. He’s visibly excited when he watches Luke making him proud, but there’s some extra passion in his piston when Ash takes the reigns and starts grinding Luke down. Watching on the sidelines, Kayden is somehow that much more in charge, with the sexy pup scrap implicitly happening for his personal pleasure. Every so often, he gets so excited he just suddenly shoves one or the other trainees off and takes his place, delivering hands-on daddy damage for the instructional benefit for everyone involved.

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When Kayden takes his finger off the scales, Ash seriously starts to shine for the earnest sadist he is. Luke is stripped and stretched out, pounded for days (because: Ash), and crushed every which way. Little Luke takes every pound-per-square-inch like a sponge, though. Kayden teases Ash for being unable to seal the deal, which sparks renewed ferocity.  Ash presses the submission out of Luke eventually. And then Kayden joins in, taking his turn dominating his boy, punishing him, demonstrating his total possession of him. Luke suffer beautifully, but there’s no missing that he also wants it. He wants to dangle from Kayden’s chain. Even strung up, spread-eagled, hanging by his ankles from the ropes and ball bashed, Luke’s unleashed jack hammer swells with pride every time Kayden acknowledges how tough he is.

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In the end, Ash and Kayden start to work Luke over like a well-oiled machine. Equal parts pain and pleasure, one heel tortures him while the other jerks him off. Honestly, I can’t decide if I’m aching more to feel what it’s like to have Ash and Kayden tag-teaming me in a cock lock like that, or to be the one with my hands driving Luke’s joystick as he hangs helplessly from Kayden’s torture rack.

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I’m not always quite as convinced that homoerotic wrestlers are quite a genuinely turned on by each other as Kayden, Ash, and Luke clearly are. There’s a sweetly sincere authenticity about every inch of this match, from the punishment to the suffering to the carnal lust to the open, mutual positive regard. The lingering gazes and lip locks make this one of the gayest, most unashamed homoerotic wrestling matches I’ve seen in a long time.

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Let’s make wrestling gay again, and I recommend that you start by cuing up Three-way Thrash 5.

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And if Luke Reel would just fold himself up in an envelope (he’s seriously that flexible) and Express Mails himself to my address, I promise to send him back to heel daddy Kayden when I’m done with him. In a few months.

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Asses Named

It was great to see a lot of you playing along in this rebooted round of Name that Ass! As my stats instructor was fond of saying when handing back our tests, mistakes were made. But asses were also correctly named. No one accurately identified all four sets of mouthwatering glutes in this round, but three of the four hunks were correctly named, in the aggregate of answers. Of course, this is all just an excuse for me to worshipfully adore the gorgeous butts of some of my favorite wrestling hunks, so let me get on with the pay off and name those asses.

Ass #1 belonged to none other than underground wrestler gone way, way big: beautiful Finn Balor.

Since making it huge in big, box store corporate wrestling, rainbow ally Finn has fucking whittled his magnificent physique to insane tolerances. I actually prefer his beefier build from early career BGE appearances, but that g-g-g-gorgeous ass of his is top shelf in any weight class. There were a couple of incorrect guesses for Finn’s glutes, but eagle-eyed Jose instantly recognized one of his (and my) favorite wrestlers’ backsides.

Jose also immediately I.D.ed spectacular ass #2 as belonging none other than indy pro hunk Clark Connors.

Holy FUCK, I’ve got a raging infatuation with Clark. His body sends me swooning instantly. I’ve got it about as bad for him now as I have crushed for most of my youth and adult life on a young Billy Jack Haynes. His porn-ready ass has a YouTube fan video devoted to it, and I’m slightly irritated that I didn’t think of that first. I can guarantee you that you’ll see Clark starring in some homoerotic wrestling fiction on these pages soon, because I cannot get enough of him!

You can all be forgiven for not recognizing ass #3 as belonging to CMLL luchador, young buck and golden devil, Oro Jr.

I’ve been watching so much CMLL in the past year that nothing I say or do can convince all Google platforms that I speak fluent Spanish (I don’t). One of the top reasons I’m so into the Mexican luchadors is Oro Jr., and, let’s be honest, Oro’s unbelievably juicy ass. He jokes on his Instagram page about how fans only seem to ever take photos of him from behind. I can see why. When he’s in the ring, I’m obsessed with watching his magnificent glutes from every angle. When he’s waiting his turn on the ring apron in a tag match, I forget about the action and just stare at his glorious butt. I realize he’s pretty perpetually in prima o segunda lucha position, so he’s not exactly a headliner yet. But I fast forward through most everything else when I know his hot bod is going to step into the ring.

And finally, ass #4 belongs to none other than rising star and body beautiful, Angel Garza.

Tim Sheridan accurately identified Angel’s ass almost the instant I posted the game, because Tim knows his spectacular wrestling asses! Unnecessary Gay Character (awesome handle, by the way) also put his finger on the correct pair of glutes. Garza is just so ridiculously pretty, and like Oro Jr., he’s clearly abundantly aware of what the fainting gasps and screams are about when he shows up packed snug in a pair of butt-hugging wrestling briefs (or, better yet, when he arrives in tear away tights, and rips them off like a stripper halfway through a match). I LOVE a crowd pleaser, and the impish, handsome smile on his face says that he knows what we’re all lining up to see.

Finally, one more ass that was not featured in the original game on Monday. Kayden Keller chimed in on Twitter to chide me for neglecting to shine the spotlight on his jaw-droppingly sexy backside in this round. First of all, I’m loving that the multi-winning, reigning Best Heel at BGE is demanding my attention. Second of all, I will marvel at and adore Kayden’s fantasy man glutes morning, noon, and night. No one technically “won” this round of Name that Ass, but I think Kayden’s power play at slapping down his beautiful butt and insisting on its due makes him, and, really, the rest of us, the real winner.

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Dear Scott,

[Note: The following post is addressed specifically to BG East classic, Scott Williams, in response to his comment specifying what blog topics he would, personally, find entertaining. If you are not Scott Williams, you may feel free to continue to read, but just know that this is really all about pleasing the man of my dreams!]

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Headscissors done right!

Honestly, Scott, yours are the headscissors by which I judge all others. I love the way you milk them with waves of contracting muscle. It’s supposed to be a static hold, but you bear down ever tighter, shifting the angle, fine tuning the pressure. Other wrestlers try to make it look effortless, propped nonchalant on one elbow, smiling, pedestrian, pointedly not breaking a sweat. I grant you, that element of facile control can be super sexy, but then I think of that grimace of concentration on your face as you squeeze, light grunts of your effort punctuated by gasping agony of your prey. Every lovely muscle in your body is coiled, strung taut, actively crushing an opponent’s skull trapped between your relentless legs. Of course, I’m not telling you anything you didn’t already know, so let me turn my attention to surveying other “punishing quads” that epitomize both the brute force and the subtle artistry of sensationally sexy headscissors.

I have to confess, working on this has become a labor of love, and my list of killer quads to vet for you here just keeps growing. I’ve given up on attempting a definitive list in one post. Consider these 4 fine specimens as merely my first installment in paying you back for inspiring so much pleasure and so many homoerotic wrestling fantasies.

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The first wrestler that sprang to my mind is Mitch Colby, and not just because I’m almost as big a fan of him as I am of you. Have you wrestled Mitch? I would imagine you and he would be well-matched in skill and temperament. Not only does he pretty invariably clamp on headscissors in almost every match, but he has this sensationally sexy way of locking on and then bearing down on them that reminds me a lot of you. He likes them super snug. He’ll often grab a fist full of hair and yank his opponent’s head as high as possible between this thighs for the extra pressure, and his pleasure. He’ll twist his hips to the side, really working it, crushing his opponent’s skull and cranking on his neck. When he’s firing on all cylinders, and he’s been squeezing a while, his eyes close. His face goes slack, and his head rolls backward. Now, I don’t know if he’s ever literally climaxed with some lucky fucker’s head crushed between his long, powerful thighs, but I feel pretty certain that’s what his face looks like when he cums.

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Mitch demonstrates his favorite position on Patrick Donovan in his Wrestler Spotlight.
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Mitch springs the trap on squashed Christopher Bruce in Undagear 21.
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Mitch may or may not be orgasming as he punishes Bobby Horton in Backyard Brawls 5.
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Surely, he’s cumming as a tortures Tyrell Tomsen in Wet & Wild 3.

My next set of punishing legs for your consideration, Scott, belong to Logan Vaughn.

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You’re the expert, of course, Scott, so tell me if I’m wrong when I say that the most punishing quads aren’t always the thickest. However, when I think scissors, I think of the thickest thighs I’ve ever seen on a wrestler: the lovely legs of  Logan Vaughn. Logan’s sojourn with BGE was tragically short, but his work elsewhere had all ready caught my eye by the time I saw him in exploiting his gargantuan quads to perfection in Florida Fights 5. Have you seen that match, Scott? Holy fuck, it’s a leg lover’s dream match. Logan’s inner thighs are like a black hole, irresistibly sucking Trey Dixon in, over and over. There are a dozen or more scissor variations, and every one of them completely incapacitates lucky Trey. Logan’s head scissors are the sweetest for my tastes, though. Trey’s head looks like a golf ball, completely dwarfed between the sequoias swallowing him. Logan is one of those hunks who make scissors look effortless, but seriously, if he earnestly bore down on them, Trey’s skull would have surely cracked. There’s seamless, totally convincing worship that breaks out, only when Logan permits it. This match is on my most-played list, mostly for the 8th Modern Wonder of the World that is Logan’s superhuman legs and the absolute perfect use he puts them to.

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Logan in repose as Trey is smothered.
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Trey grabs hold and prays he can survive.
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Standing, figure-4, face-to-crotch headscissors suspended from the turnbuckle (try saying that 3 times fast!)
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Trey trapped and tortured from every, fucking, single, angle!
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I love the lacing of his ankles, the flex of his toes, and the way Trey just holds on for dear life.

Correct me if I’m wrong, Scott, but I feel certain I’ve seen you trash talking with Kayden Keller on social media, alluding to having faced the hot, young heel in person. If so, you know better than I can imagine just how punishing Kayden’s quads are.

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I have to include him in my list, however, because his legs make me swoon. Literally. Like, when I was fortunate enough to be able to conduct interviews at BG East a couple of years ago during a weekend of taping, I sat down with Kayden and commented on his stunning, sexy, strong thighs. And he flexed them, just smiling at me as I was instantly light-headed. I bravely attempted to continue the interview, but he just tugged his shorts up higher and flexed his quads some more, and I struggled to string together a coherent sentence. I’ve adoringly tracked his career over the years, from fierce heel pup to, now, the multi-award winning reigning Heel Champ of BG East. He’s grown up good, Scott! I don’t know when you may have faced him last, but I’d love to know if Kayden’s quads are as devastatingly powerful as they look, or as dizzingly sexy when they’re clamped across your skull like a vise.

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Ollie Watts is all tied up with nowhere to go in Gazebo Grapplers 21.
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Kayden gives lovely little Luke Reel a tongue wagging in Ultra Heels 6.
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Kayden shows Leo Tomasi the best seat in the house in Ring Releases 3.
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Kayden’s thighs bring hunky Carter Alexander to his knees in his Wrestling Spotlight.

I’ve got a list of twice this many names, but in order not to sabotage myself, I’m going to give you just one more for today. It’s a wild card. I don’t know how you might feel about competition bodybuilders and fun-and-games frat wrestling, but I’d like to draw your attention to Thunder’s Arena’s Loki.

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I feel like you might not track someone like Loki because he dabbles in wrestling, and you’re, clearly, serious as a heart attack. But hear me out. This muscle kid is absolutely draped in luxurious, thick, aesthetic muscle. And when he hits the mats, 9 times out of 10, he’s going to shove an opponent’s skull between those gargantuan, competition-ready quads. So, sure, he may not be really on the same scene, but you’ve got to admire him for his ready impulse to crack craniums with his quads. Often, his fratboy opponents can’t help themselves but grab hold (in awe, I’m certain). To his credit, he just lets them. If they try to pry him apart, he just holds them by the wrist, keeping them close enough to touch, but not break the hold. The flashing of his flexing quads as his opponents face’s go 2-dimensional is pure gold. Judging by the look of exquisite ecstasy as they’re crushed in the vise, I don’t think it takes a lot of effort from him to make opponents see stars.

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Loki gives Blayne a show as he suffers in Bodybuilder Battles 123.
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I like how he adds a few extra ounces per square inch of pressure with his hand in Ringwars 94.
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Loki likes to watch his quads do their thing in Bodybuilder Battles 130.
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He really, really likes to watch in Vegas Battles 69.
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Standing at attention, flexed for days, in total control in Vegas Battles 73.

I’ll take a break now, because I’m a bit dehydrated, Scott. I hope this has given you a little entertainment and perhaps a little provocation. I’ll be back at a future date to explore the most punishing quads in wrestling some more, along with your other wish list item, some focused attention on Dirty Daddy!

Surpassing the Master

I recently bumped into Ash DeLeon on social media. Ash gave me one of my last interviews I posted before my hiatus from blogging, and he graciously agreed to a follow-up interview to inaugurate my comeback. The conversation ranged from gut punching to lip locks to which upperclassmen heels he’s ready to challenge.

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Bard: Thanks so much, Ash, for helping me reboot the blog with an interview!

Ash: It’s my pleasure! Glad to have you back. Missed your blogs about the underground gay wrestling world, man. You have no idea how much I thrived on those when I was just a fan of all the top wrestling companies.

Bard: So, I’ve been out of the loop for about a year and a half, with limited bandwidth to keep up with homoerotic wrestling, sadly. What have I missed?

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Ash tenderizes Kenny Starr

Ash: I will say this, you missed out on quite a bit! In terms of my career in BG East, I guess the three biggest “achievements” went from wrestling in front of a live crowd in a match for Wrestling with Pride, to being called a “veteran” by BG East rookies in my most recent BG East shoot. Oh, and of course, the product I was featured in along with Kayden Keller, Nathan Sargent, and Rocky Sparks, that won best product of the year! BAM! I very much consider that my first win for the annual BG East awards. But I believe quite a few of my matches have come out since your hiatus. There have been a few particular matches that I think you may have enjoyed, including my Three-Way Thrash with Kayden Keller and Luke Reel, to my Gut Bash match with Kenny Starr, and to my latest match against Ethan Axel Andrew’s himself, in a fantasy-brought-to-life of the classic “wrestling coach versus his student” match. It’s been quite the year of growth for me.

Bard: Damn, you have been busy!

Ash: I have been! But in the best ways possible!

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Saddling up on big pro Dimitri in Wrestling with Pride 2

Bard: Tell me about Wrestling with Pride 2. It sounds like that was your first match in front of an audience of fans. What was that like?

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Ash: It was my first live match. So the story was that the gentleman who was supposed to wrestle Dimitri could not make it. It was kind of last minute, too. So in the scramble of trying to find someone to fill that card, the Boss asked me if I was willing to do it. I can’t even describe the amount of anxiety I got when he asked me but…. I did get a 101 pro lesson back when I wrestled for UCW. So I remembered the fundamentals of pro matches, like how to take bumps, safely do basic moves, etc. However, pull all of those out of the attic and apply them in a live audience?! Yeah, I was nervous as hell. But I worked with Jonny and Dimitri, and they gave me a crash course on how to develop a good show for a pro match. In the end, I was told it came out pretty good! I remembered everything they taught me, and was able to apply it to the match. To me, the match went smoothly, and the crowd seemed to enjoy it. Besides injuring myself, I thought I did decent enough to put on a good show. I will say, it’s hard to explain what it’s like when you have a crowd cheer your name to get up and keep fighting. It was like, the best kind of adrenaline injected into you, from pure energy from the crowd. It was awesome!

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Outmuscled

Bard: It sounds thrilling! Were you injured bad?

h1228_lgAsh: I was! It was something I did to myself actually (laughing). So in the madness, I forgot to bring boots to the venue, so I had to go around and ask if anyone had spares, and the only guy who did was Tiko. Who had spare boots, but they had heels in them… so… At the end, when I was setting up the super kick and was stomping in the corner Shawn Michaels-style. The second stomp I did, I had a huge shockwave of pain fire up my leg, and I knew something went wrong (laughing). So that limping I did out of the ring? It was my leg more than anything else.

Bard: Damn, all of that Dimitri beef pounding down on you, and it’s footwear that really fucks you up? That’s unexpected!

Ash: Yeah, man, that was my thought exactly!

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Heel training in Three-Way Thrash 5

Bard: So, tell me more about your 3-way with Kayden and Luke. What a tasty morsel little Luke is!

0516_lgAsh: (laughing) Ah, yes little Luke was a fiesty one. After Kayden had his fun with the boy, he wanted to present me with a “challenge.” Granted, when I first saw that Luke was the challenge, I didn’t take it seriously. I learned real quick that Kayden had tricks up his sleeve. The real challenge was getting handicapped so hard with the knee to my balls, then getting beat on by both Kayden and Luke! I’ll admit they beat me pretty bad. My abs were clearly the focus, but I knew what Kayden really wanted was for me to prove, then and there, that I could take what I can give. Boy, did they test my resolve! However, I think it was safe to say I impressed Kayden by the end of that one, and Luke clearly loved every second of my pay back. Now Kayden has essentially taken me under his wing to learn how to be a legendary heel on the BG East roster. Always been my desire, since I watched my favorite heels destroy BG East’s sexy jobbers!

Bard: Well, I sort of want a little naked Luke Reel to sit on my dashboard and wag his hot body at me on my long commutes. I’m fascinated by what it may mean to be “taken under Kayden’s wing.” Do heels foster heel-friendships? Like, do you wonder if Kayden, Mr. Top Heel himself, might string this “mentor” thing along, just to make sure he’s there to beat you back down if you rise too far?

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Under Kayden’s wing

Ash: (laughing) Well, you can see how Kayden and I worked on the same beat when we were… well, beating on little Luke (laughing). Who knows? Maybe Kayden and I will become the new (maybe the first) destructive tag team of BG East. I am keeping on my toes with him. I know, as I keep learning the ways to heel, he will take me on in a brutal 1-on-1 match. And when that time comes, I’ll be ready. Who knows? The student could surpass the master at that point.

Bard: Well, I love the drama, so however it plays out, I’ll be looking forward to it. When you speculate that you might be the first destructive heel tag team of BG East, you do realize that Kid Leopard and Kid Vicious teamed up in one of the early Tag Team Torture series, don’t you? Because if you’re calling out KV and KL to a heel-off, I’m there with popcorn!

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The Original Heel Tag Team

Ash: Damn, you caught me in my BG East history lesson! I’m going to be honest, I have always wanted to step onto the mats against either, or both of them! And however that plays out, I would be quite content. It would be such a raunchy and dirty battle! Just the way I like it! Wouldn’t that be a fight for the ages?

Bard: It’d be epic, my friend! Seriously, I need a front row seat to that match! You know I’m going to be reaching out to KV and KL and telling them that you’re calling them out, just to try to stir that pot to a rolling boil!

Ash: (laughing) Go ahead man! I have taken on plenty of sadistic dudes and bruisers in my career. I won’t back down at that chance, either!

Bard: Excellent. I never tap into my inner heel quite so fully as when I’m stirring up shit between other people. I expect to see you in a Kid Leopard kiss-of-death within moments of the quarantine being lifted! I’d like to return to a topic you and I have had a couple of times in the past, if you don’t mind. It seems like your first love is really gut punching. My first love is, honestly, homoerotic wrestling itself, which obviously overlaps with gut punching extensively. But is it the same kink, do you think? What do you see as the relationship between the two?

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Ash: I never mind talking about my kinks! Especially in gut punching! I will start with saying, like most did, I had a certain “fascination” with watching the hunks on WWE when I was a wee lad. So back when I was a preteen, I always knew I had this…. special kind of lust for abs. It’s obviously my favorite muscle group on a man. But, my lust for it was much deeper. Even my 12-year-old self knew that. I knew that even before I accepted that I am gay. And my favorite expression I wanted to do onto a sixpack was punch it. I felt so odd, but the wonderful World Wide Web showed me that there are many others with the same interest. As I grew up, and I surfed the web, I found 3 specific videos that…peaked my interest. First, was a legendary video clip from Gutbash 5with KV and Steve Thomas. Second, a clip of that sexy Drake being gut punched in NRW. And third, Axel versus JR, in one of UCW’s first videos. I definitely don’t think they are the same kink though, although they have many similarities, but the energies of the heel and jobber versus puncher and punchee are similar, as well. The control in those dynamics definitely turns me on.

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Pounding control over Richie Douglas in It’s Rough for Refs

Bard: That makes total sense. I certainly find some solid punching in the context of a match to be provocative. I think I veer toward the other side of the coin, though, if I think about the difference between a punch to the abs and an abdominal claw. I think the claw turns me on more because the contact lingers. The application of pain lingers. The punch, even a series of punches, are like punctuation marks to me, but the story is in the intimacy of the wrestling holds.

Ash: I love how you compared the ab claw and a gut punch! I will say, I think there is a way to make the gut punching sequences quite erotic, at least, in my opinion. See, it’s all about the set up to the punch, that is, teasing the abs by slowly rubbing my fist against his abs, before the hit. Sometimes distract them with groping or even a lip lock before bringing that fist into the sweet spot! I will saw I will prefer a good ol’ ball claw over an ab claw (shocking I know).

Bard: I think I get that. It’s much more than the punch itself. The prelude, the rising tension, anticipation, whether they’re anticipating what actually comes or not. I don’t think I quite got that control and domination side of gut punching!

 Ash: That’s exactly what I am talking about! I’m glad I helped shed light on the dynamics! At least on my end, I am sure not every gut punch enthusiast has the same ideology on the fetish, but I hope some do!

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Digging deep into Steve Mason in Backyard Brawls 11

Bard: Tell me more about what you prefer about a ball claw.

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Legendary Ball Bash 2

Ash: Now, I will say CBT and ball busting did grow, with a big thanks to BG East in that regard. Particularly, Ball Bash 2 with Jonny Firestorm and Reese Wells. God that was a hot match. But my attraction to ball busting is this: it’s the easiest method to get your opponent to bend to your will and make him crumble in your grasp. That’s why ball claws are one of my favorite “holds” in erotic wrestling. So as you fans may have seen from my match against Nathan Sargent, I am pretty good at ball bashing, too! Who knows, maybe I’ll be known for making a legendary ball bash match on the BG East catalog, too. I have already been told my Gut Bash against Kenny Starr was something to remember. That has also been one of my biggest BG East accomplishments, too! Along with giving Jonny Firestorm and Kid Vicious the biggest smile during a match I filmed, not too long ago, with me as the heel working over a jobber. I was so happy when I saw that… while staying in my heel character, of course (laughing).

Bard: Oh, fuck yes, Reese Wells was a revelation in Ball Bash 2! I don’t think I’d ever really thought of someone getting off on getting their balls bashed before watching little Reese’s cock so visibly rise to that occasion. Crotch Crushers 1 was a similar epiphany for me, with the added benefit of seeing Mitch Colby and Derek DaSilva so beautifully marry punishment and pleasure.

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Muscle taming ball busting in Crotch Crushers

Ash: Yes, Derek Dasilva looked like a fun guy to beat on! Reese Wells has been a dream opponent of mine actually. I have quite a few of those.

 

 

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Bard: You know, of course, what else I’d bet would make Kid Vicious smile during a match? It’d be you and Kayden taking some serious lessons from the masters!

Ash: I love that idea! You are thinking of Kayden and I taking on Kid Leopard and Kid Vicious?

Bard: Yep, that would be golden!

Ash: That would be a freaking treat! I bet Kayden would be more than down for that too! Even if it means we get beaten (laughing).

Bard: I offer to referee. And I’d be a totally corrupt ref, just so you know.

Ash: Oh, yeah? Something tells me you would be on their side then and get a few licks in.

Bard: I’d have an idea of how things should play out, but I’ll leave it at that. You’d have to see which side of the scales I’d have my thumb on. Anything more you can reveal about your recent heel match that made the veterans smile, without the need for a spoiler alert?

Ash: I’ll say this much. It was a match with a rookie on the roster that I brought in recently. He made a big splash at BG East already, but since he and I have already gotten acquainted prior to him joining BG East… let’s say it translated very well on film. Also I am hoping it wins best lip lock for the next annual awards, but I would say fans should expect it to be one of the most brutal, yet sensual matches I have done to date for BG East!

Bard: What a teaser! I love it. I’ll be waiting breathlessly for it to come out. You also bring up another topic I’d love to hear more from you about. Lip locks. What elements make for a perfect wrestling kiss?

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Little Luke is sealed with a kiss.

Ash: I have to really think about this one because it seems so natural to me; and that might be the reason. I usually only do a lip lock when it is natural. My energy and my opponent’s energy has to be on the same level, or at least to some degree. I think the best match that has captured that from my releases so far has been in the Three-Way Thrash with both Luke and Kayden. There is a lot of power in a kiss, just as powerful as a gut punch or a ball claw; it’s just a different kind of power. I guess I would say it’s that double-edged sword effect. A good lip lock sucks the fighting energy between the two wrestlers, even if it’s for a moment. Until one of those wrestlers realizes it’s their time to either strike again, or turn the tables. There have been plenty of times where it has either worked in my favor, or allowed my opponent to get a chance to get me on my back. And honestly, regardless of the outcome of a lip lock, I can never get enough of them!

Bard: You’ve definitely convinced me that I need to get my hands on that three-way!

 Ash: Glad I sold you on it! I have a feeling you will enjoy it.

Bard: Before I let you go, can you tell me what’s the sexiest thing a homoerotic wrestling fan can do with his time when the world is in quarantine from a global pandemic?

Ash: The sexiest thing a fan can do is support his favorite wrestlers/wrestling companies. Because like everyone else, we will not be able to film for some time. For example, I was actually set to film for BG East next week, but obviously that got cancelled. So supporting is sexy to me. Help keep the business you enjoy alive! I have been doing it, too!

Bard: Whatever the world looks like after we’re past the pandemic, I desperately hope there’s a vital homoerotic wrestling industry in it! I have a year’s worth of new releases to catch up on, so I’ll do my part. I hope everyone who reads this interview will renew their support by purchasing a new wrestling match to add to their collections, too. And now, more than ever, buy from the source. We’ve got to support our wrestlers and gay producers!

Ash: That’s was amazing, man, thank you so much. So happy to have you back on the scene!

Bard: Thanks for being my first interview back!

Ash: My absolute pleasure.

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The Battle to Be the Best: Heel

Voting was very heavy in yesterday’s Battle to Be the Best Heel. With a fierce social media campaign, Kayden Keller made certain it wasn’t even close. It’s the equivalent of wrestling match with some legitimate back and forth offense, but soon enough, it was all going Kayden’s way. David wrote the entire match description in the comments, featuring a ton of low blows and dirty moves, apropos of a heel on heel battle. Personally, I picture this face off featuring a ton of Morgan monologuing, lording it over Kayden when he’s on top, dropping his endless, snarling references to being the “alpha dog” and the “real man.” So once Kayden has clawed his way back into the driver’s seat (which is the sexiest part of Kayden’s matches for me), he has to gag Morgan with his own trunks to shut him up. I picture Kayden sitting on the top turnbuckle with Morgan hanging, feet off the ground, from a suspended sleeper until he’s out cold. And then, on behalf of all of us who want someone to shut Morgan up, Kayden rouses him back to consciousness with his cock shoved down the Morgan’s throat. A naked pony ride (Mastodon ride?) around the ring with big Kayden’s cock pressed between Morgan’s hairy, muscled ass cheeks would leave that lasting impression that Morgan would need to never call himself “alpha dog” ever again.

In Kayden’s social media campaign to get out the vote, he mentioned his intention to officially take the title of the best erotic heel in BG East history from Brooklyn Bodywrecker.  So, who better to climb into the ring next to put The Controller to the test? Ignore chronology. BBW at his peak versus Kayden at his best. Who wins? And how?

On the left, out for his second victory of this competition, Kayden “The Controller” Keller (6’2″, 175 pounds) versus on the right, the prototype of muscle bear daddies, Brooklyn Bodywrecker (5’11”, 190 pounds).

In the ring. No rules. Victory by submission or knockout. Knowing the work of both of these hunks, I guarantee you the trunks are coming off. Vote below for who you think is the last heel standing, and share how you picture this being decided in the comments below.

The Battle to Be the Best: Heels

The competition was smoking hot and full of surprises when it came to settling the question of who is the best classic homoerotic wrestler. The dramatic finale was incredibly close, but in the end, muscle hunk Ace Hanson ripped the trunks off of Mikey Vee’s stellar ass and the title out of his hands to be voted The Best.

Since the BBB classic competition generated a lot of votes and inspired some sweet, sweet description of wrestling action, let’s tuck in to another elimination tournament to determine who, of a deep bench of vicious heels, is left standing in the end. The rules are the same: there are no rules, just like heels like it. The winner advances based on eliminating his opponent with a submission or knockout. I realize it’s a little iconoclastic to spotlight heel-on-heel action, but honestly, some of my hottest homoerotic wrestling fantasies revolve around the idea of a hardcore heel shocked, worn out, and whimpering at the mercy of his opponent.

The first two wrestlers to take their shot at being the best of the best heel are, on the left, BGE’s reigning Top Heel of 2017, Kayden “The Controller” Keller (6’2″, 175 pounds) vs. the Mad Monologuer Morgan “The Mastodon” Cruise (5’8″, 170 pounds).

Vote below for which hunk out-heels the other to stay in the running to be the Best of the Best Heel in the business.

Ode to OTK

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Zip Zarella wrings the Z out of Z-Man

It’s been a long time since I composed a post devoted solely to admiring a particular wrestling hold. I’ve been recently obsessing once again over my favorite wrestling hold, the over-the-knee backbreaker.

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Even the set up for this hold is sexy, as Grant Connors digs his fingers into Carson Crawford’s hot ass.

It’s such a massively dominating move. The pitcher often literally cradles the catcher like a child in his arms, clutching him across his chest, and then drops to one knee, pounding his opponent’s back across his thigh. I love the geography of this hold. The victim splayed out, his vulnerable core stretched wide, legs and upper body pressed backward such that he can’t assume the instinctive duck and cover defensive position to protect his internal organs.

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Kelly King busts Kirk’s back like a boss.

I catch myself gasping in awe at high impact OTKs. There’s a raw, primal, intensely arousing aspect to watching a dominant hunk seriously pound his opponent down with authority, his knee driving viciously into the helpless stud’s spine. It’s magnificent drama when he scoops him directly back up across his chest, standing tall and hoisting the victim high to repeat the move again. And again. Total domination.

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Ty’s helplessness make’s Coop’s muscle seem that much more massive.

I also also love an OTK punisher with big, bulging pecs flexing powerfully, his face hovering so close to his opponent’s muscled torso and quivering crotch. Stretched out on his back, the victim of an OTK is flattened, the topography of his physique stretched out and impotent, in contrast to the flaring shoulders and pumped pecs of his tormentor.

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Mr. Joshua digs deep into Chace LaChance.

Then there are the subtle variations and innovations that dial up the inherent eroticism of this hold in a homoerotic context. The stolen moments to take advantage of the victim’s helplessness, sadistically brutalizing muscled abs and pecs. Not content to just torture his spine, the man in charge pounds fists, drives in elbows, perhaps digs his finger tips into defenseless muscle and wear him out from every angle.

An OTK seems paradigmatically gay (or at least bicurious) when the dominant hunk pays serious attention to that tempting bulge at the apex of his opponent’s bridge. Frankly it doesn’t often go there even in homoerotic wrestling, but every OTK seems like a head nod to those sensational moments when a wrestler leans forward and sucks his opponent’s nipple, seductively slides the palm of his hand possessively across his lower abs, and appreciatively throttles and fondles his arching cock. That’s the heart of homoerotic wrestling for me, with the purpose of the battle to determine who gets to take possession of whose body.

I’m fascinated watching muscled hunks sell this hold. Clearly some wrestlers are built a lot more for strength than flexibility. A stiff, tabletop OTK actually works for me because it looks like it hurts just that much more. When a muscle laden stud doesn’t really have much of a lower back arch to bend across his opponent’s thigh, it also just seems that much more humiliating. But there’s nothing quite as arousing as watching a flexible hunk melt into the hold, bridging dramatically, as if his muscles are draped across a hanger. The submissiveness, the giving himself over blindly to man who’s claimed his body, is golden.

My gratitude to all of the homoerotic wrestlers who have recently fed my craving for OTK hotness. For those moments when you’ve reached through your opponents legs and cupped his beefy ass in the palm of your hand, I salute you. For your graceful bridge and packed, quivering bulge gasping in anticipation of whatever is to come at the mercy of your opponent, I applaud you. I realize this hold is not exactly intuitive to pull off, and for many of you it’s downright awkward as fuck to sell, so I appreciate the gorgeous erotic art of your human sculpture just that much more.

Our Man Inside

A few years ago, I mentioned in a post that I have a particular fondness for candid glimpses of homoerotic wrestlers. I love seeing them when they aren’t “on,” when they’re obviously just being the beautiful men they are in those moments between climbing into the ring to rip each other apart. A few wrestlers have openly shared with me their private camera rolls from wrestling shoots, but BG East (the source of most of those), officially embargoed me before that could go on for long. My sources dried up, and rumor had it that some of the wrestlers involved were sorely and corporally punished for sharing the insider information with “the press.” And then, quietly and mysteriously, I received my first batch of smuggled contraband from an anonymous source who I have come to know only as OMI, Our Man Inside.

I always wonder if my latest batch of OMI treasure will be the last, and the Boss will sniff out the mole and squash him like a bug. I take it as testimony to the size of OMI’s balls and the apparent affection he must have for me that he tempts fate by feeding my adoring obsession with peaking behind the curtain.

I’ve posted precious little about the recent live wrestling show BG East produced for the Fort Lauderdale Pride event last month because, 1) I couldn’t get off work to go down and see it in person, and 2) I’m bitter about #1. Somehow, OMI knew how envious I am of all of the social media celebrations of that event, and like manna from heaven, again I’ve been fed some dizzyingly delightful snapshots from something other than the “official” camera.

Clearly, the event was a who’s who of BG East celebrities. I have no problem with acknowledging that even the pics of these gorgeous hunks fully clothed gets me hard. The fraternal camaraderie in their playful smiles and warm embraces highlights one thing I love about BG East: the “esprit de corps” as several wrestlers I’ve talked to have named it. Even when they do their best to rip each other’s balls off in competition, once egos and bodies have been tested and placed in their proper hierarchy, most of these wrestlers clearly enjoy the community formed by what unites them, namely, a passion for wrestling.

To be honest, I can sit on OMI caches way too long because I want to obsess about every single photo in detail. In order not to fall into that trap with this incredibly tasty OMI collection from the Pride event, I’ll post most of them without comment, but not without deep appreciation and arousal. But, of course, I will comment on a few that grab me by the balls just right.

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First of all, look at the assembly of hotness! Fuck, so many names, so many muscles, so many immediate associations in my mind with wrestling matches that I’ve written about and gotten off on repeatedly.   There are exactly 5 faces I don’t recognize. Identify everyone in this shot and you can be queen for a day here on the blog.

These assembled shots from the Pride event raise so many summary questions. Who is the guy in the front row snapping a photo of Ty’s sweaty ass as Jonny works him over outside the ring? What sadistic, sexy machinations is Kid Vicious working there in the shadows? Where can I get a leopard print suit!?

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I have no doubt that OMI knows exactly what he’s doing to me by sending me shots like this of three of the sexiest wrestlers of all time who I have unapologetically fawned over repeatedly in the pages of this blog. Seeing Scott Williams, Shane McCall, and Brad Rochelle embracing and smiling brightly blows my mind. The time since these stunning wrestlers were last seen in the ring has done nothing but make them sexier. How is there not a Daddy Division at BGE, to scratch that itch, that I know for a fact I’m not the only one who has, to see classic wrestling stars like this back in action? Shane has been quite clear in his interview with me a couple of years back, as well as ongoing comments since then, that he’s still nursing an appreciative rivalry with hot daddy Scott. How is this not a thing!? Look at Scott’s bronzed, bulging deltoid muscle there and explain how the the fuck he isn’t starring in a Returning Classics Championship tournament or, at the very least, his own muscle daddy Wrestler Spotlight!?

Refraining from commenting at length on every one of these photos is killing me, but I know this post will never get published if I start. However, the questions that come to mind in this collection include how is there not an UltraFight 2.5 (The Rematch) in production right now? Exactly how did Brad and KL manage to bury the hatchet after Brad was last seen shoving the Boss’ head in a toilet!? And can someone please tell Shane that if he’s going to build pecs like that, he is morally obligated to get his hotness back into the ring, preferably starting by settling that score he has with Scott?

Newkids.jpg I sort of think that OMI may know me better than anyone I’ve never met. Not only does he satiate my lust for classic homoerotic wrestling stars, he knows how much I also adore catching those first glimpses of hot, young, aspiring beauties. This pic of assembled youthful hunks makes me desperately hopeful that the known wrestling stars there (Kayden, Ash, Noah, Tommy, Kieran) interspersed among ridiculously pretty young faces I’m not familiar with, hints at some fresh, meaty newbies on the horizon. The backward baseball cap duo have GOT to be the most mouthwatering tag team I’ve never seen in action. Blond Ambition there on the left, the one with the lips, looks ripe for a beating. And holy fuck, Kayden , with those arms, wearing those glasses, is making me swoon. I’d like to order up a 2-on-1 battle in which Tommy and Noah team up to take on Kayden, and, for the record, I’m putting all my money on Kayden.

Again, how NOT to comment for the next 3 months about each and everyone of these hot shots? I know from the poster that Elite Eliot was on the card for the Pride event, but fuck me, those lickable legs of his make me ready to beg to see him in the BG East ring for myself (please tell me this is true!). Is it possible that Ace Aarons got his crack at rubbing the shit-eating grin off of Kirk Donahue’s face? Who in the hell are the too achingly pretty young hotties that Kirk has his arm around, and how long did it take for them to get annoyed by Kirk and double-team his better-than-mediocre ass? Why am I NEVER around to be invited to join in the sexy pool parties!?

As always, OMI, I owe you more than I will ever be able to repay.  Keep the smiles, and the dimples, and the beautiful men who make homoerotic wrestling what it is, coming!

And the Winner Is…

Congratulations to the winners of the BG East Besties for 2017! It was a fabulous year in homoerotic wrestling, and all of the nominees demonstrated the deep bench that BG East can rightfully boast. Some of my picks earned the most votes overall. Some didn’t.  They all (but one) get nothing but respect from me. It’s certainly not the first time I’ve seen evidence that my tastes intersect and diverge with other homoerotic wrestling fans. Happily, there’s plenty for all of us to enjoy, and awards or not, my sincere thanks go out to the beautiful men in front of and behind the camera that make BG East a leader in wrestling for a gay audience.

Sexiest Match: Sexiest Match – Ty Alexander vs. Bruno LaBestia (Ringwars 28)

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Bruno enjoys the taste of victory

 

Best Mat Battle: Austin Cooper vs. Christian Taylor (Undagear 28)

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The biggest upset of the year (not a category) had to be Austin Cooper getting owned by Christian Taylor

 

Best Ring Match: Cole Cassidy vs. Joshua Goodman (Ringwars 26)

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This hold alone is already the stuff of legend

 

Best Squash: Lane Hartley vs. Kirk Donahue (Demolition 22)

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Kirk trashed for the win

 

Best Submissions: Kayden Keller vs. Richie Douglas (Kayden’s Spotlight)

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Kayden masters the beautiful art of submission

 

Hottest Liplock: Christian Taylor vs. Mason Brooks (Bedroom Brawl 3)

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Mason aids Christian in remaining the reigning kissing champion

 

Best Overall Match: Cole Cassidy vs. Joshua Goodman (Ringwars 26)

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Cole throttles his trophy

 

Top Heel: Kayden Keller

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Kayden for the upset win over both Jonny and Kid Karisma!

 

Top Babyface: Richie Douglas

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Richie beats back a challenge from Kirk Donahue

 

Jobber of the Year: Kirk Donahue

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Fuck, I hate this jobber for beating my boy Drake Marcos

 

Debut of the Year: Zip Zarella

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Zip wasn’t my top pick, but you get no arguments from me

 

Best Abs: Kid Karisma

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Kid Karisma beats runner-up Mitch Colby for Best Abs

 

Best Bulge: Joshua Goodman

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I’m thrilled to see Mr. Joshua’s bulge beat last year’s winner, Kirk, to the curb

 

Best Butt: Kid Karisma

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Despite Ty’s social media campaign, he couldn’t rip the title away from the perennial favorite glutes of Kid Karisma

 

Best Body: Kid Karisma

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BG East fans agreed with me that it just doesn’t get any better than this!