“I have no shame”

As I mentioned, on my last pilgrimage to BG East North this summer I was given the thrilling opportunity to sit down, face to face, and interview several BG East wrestlers in those moments between them taping matches. Ty Alexander seemed particularly keen to cozy up to my mic, and it is no surprise to me in the least that my interview with the Trophy Boy was long, intense, and peppered with several unexpected twists and turns. If you listen to our interview below, you’ll hear what I mean when I say that Ty is the master of the inside joke. I’ll do my best to let you in on the jokes, but honestly, with Ty, I always feel like there’s another layer of meaning I have yet to discover. It may help (or not) for you to know ahead of time that Ty has repeatedly called me out to kick my ass, and the more muscular he gets, the more actively I’ve tried to steer clear of a Trophy Boy ass kicking (judge me if you will).  It also may, or may not, provide helpful context to know that a little while ago, Ty gifted me with the pair of Calvin Kleins that he and Drake fought so bitterly over in Babyface Brawl X.  As with my interview with Kayden, Ty’s tightly toned body was distracting, and I don’t believe that’s by accident. Ty wore the least amount of clothing of any of my interviewees, and he drew attention to his tanned muscles repeatedly. On the one hand, if you know Ty, you know it’s always about Ty. On the other hand, I strongly suspect that there was considerable method to the Trophy Boy’s madness in showing up to his interview in his green Nike compression briefs and pretty much nothing else.

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Ty Alexander: “I’m a lot more lean and muscular now than I have been previously.”

In this first portion of the interview, we learn about the ongoing evolution of Ty, both physically and his prospects to dig himself out of the deep jobber hole he’s been in. Ty discusses what fans really long to see, and what the chances may be of there ever being a Ty heel-turn. Learn about Ty’s big weakness, and his impression of how BG East is living into the age of social media.

Ty Alexander Interview – Part 1:

 

20641928_2034314276802715_15437980_oIn the next portion of our interview, talks about his favorite classic BGE wrestlers, and exactly what it’s like to meet your gay wrestling hero in person (and get your ass kicked by him).  He explores some of the differences between Ty the wrestler and Ty in the rest of his life. Hear Ty’s response to my direct question of whether he is Our Man Inside. We bond over the prototype of the wrestling nerd hunk. And as further evidence that he is the master of the inside joke, delve into the mystery of who Ty may, or may not, be roommates with.

Ty Alexander Interview – Part 2:

 

 

0404_lgIn the final portion of the interview, learn about the likelihood of seeing Ty naked in a future match (hint: it’s really, really high). Discover how this post got its title, and how that relates to a description of Ty covered in cum strolling around BG East after a particularly explosive match. I give a shout out to Kid Leopard for my next invitation to visit BGE (Ty is involved). Ty answers the question of which BGE wrestlers are hooking up with each other (“who isn’t!?”). And finally, listen to how this particular interview ended with Ty’s hands down my pants. No kidding.

Ty Alexander Interview – Part 3:

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Ty: “Mike Columbo was one of my favorites to watch and get off to.”
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Ty: “My first filming I was just kind of very shy and very quiet. It was one of those things where I think I can’t believe I’m actually doing this! I watched this for so long, and I’ve always wanted to do it. And I never thought I actually could do it.”
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Ty: “Everybody deserves the right to wrestle and have fun with it.”
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Ty: “We’re all on the same team.”
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Ty: “There’s nothing better than a hot nerd.”
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Ty: “I have no shame. Obviously.”
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Bard: “I think readers of my blog will think that I’m bullshitting them when I say that Ty really is the gear maven on shoots.”

Our Man Inside

I told you that last batch of BG East contraband was the fucking motherload, now didn’t I? Just to add context, this 3rd installment is still not all of it. It is, however, sweet, because of all the smuggled goods that OMI dishes out, my favorites are always the captured moments of my favorite BG East wrestlers relaxed, chilling, smiling, clearly enjoying themselves apart from the drama in the ring. These are the shots that make me admire these hotties that much more because they’re unpackaged, (relatively) candid, and somehow make them that much more crushworthy because they’re real. Speaking of crushworthy…

Fuck, every last one of these boys are adorable. No game face. No bloodlust. Just hot young hunks who can beat the living fuck out of each other one minute, and then kick back and chill when all is said and done.

I think this batchlet speaks to OMI as much as it does to the sensationally tasty hunks featured. We know precious little about the identity of OMI, but I can’t help but infer that he is equally as infatuated with Mad Mykel’s ass and Chase Addams nipples as I am. Just as an aside, Mad Mykel has made some tragic gear choices in the past, but I am incredibly anxious to get to see him in action in this jungle boy loin cloth.

And finally this last subcollection for the day features sizzling hotness all around, including the most elusive interview get of my blogging career, Kid Vicious. I’ve begged, borrowed, and stolen to convince KV to sit down with me for an interview. I’ve made promises. I’ve done favors. I’ve had him halfway to the table on at least a couple of occasions, only to have the most vicious tease in the business take a call and turn away at the last minute. I’m still working on figuring out who I have to fuck to get him on the record with me,  but once I do, you’ll be the next to know.

I know for a fact that OMI has been taking some heat, in cognito, from the powers that be at BG East for his corporate espionage/fan fantasy fulfillment. Send your kindest wishes and prayers for safety to the homoerotic wrestling gods that OMI remains our man inside. And pass along the word to anyone you know with strings to pull that Kid Vicious gives that sit-down soon.

Our Man Inside

As I mentioned a while back, I had the biggest drop of BGE photo contraband left on my doorstep a couple of weeks ago. I’ve been strapped for time, so I’m just now sorting through these gems, doing a little latent class analysis to come up with implicit categories, and ready to share a few more.  I identified today’s theme based on the 90 degree/90% humidity hell I’ve been surviving for the past couple of days.  In other words, here are some OMI treasures that I file under both “hot” and “staying cool.”

The phrase “fun in the sun” doesn’t quite capture just how sexy and delightful these photos are of BGE boys at poolside in Florida. By the gear, these pics all appear to be shot around the time of the taping of Wet & Wild 7: Pool Tournament. If you haven’t seen that lovely competition, check it out for the hot bodies, the surprisingly intensely competitive round robin, and the post tourney groping and liplocks.

These post-taping pics of Jonny on clean up duty after the Pool Tournament raise a host of questions. 1) What put a headliner like Jonny in such a doghouse that he’s on janitorial duty? 2) Why the fuck didn’t we get to see the tournament competitors’ trunks come off, since clearly, they came off?! And, 3) what ever happened to those lime green briefs that Drake wore in the Pool Tournament, got fished out of the pool by Jonny, and then reappeared as the prize in the shockingly bitter Babyface Brawl X? After so much sweat and cum was spilled over that hot gear, one wonders just where that sexy swath of fabric ended up.

And finally, this latch batch of smoldering hotness I just file under “the future’s so bright, you gotta wear shades.” Baby Boy Leone is wearing me out with his shirtless, hairy hotness and retro, oversized lenses. And the posed, dockside hunkfest is now my desktop image, because it inspires about two dozen homoerotic wrestling fantasies on continuous loop in my imagination, about half of which feature Christian Taylor getting double-, triple-, or quadruple-teamed by this particular incarnation of the boyband.

As always, let’s all voice our gratitude and say a little prayer to the homoerotic wrestling gods for OMI’s safety, so that we may enjoy many, many more behind the scenes treasures like these in the future!

Our Man Inside

I know of wrestlers who nearly lost their balls getting caught smuggling behind-the-scenes pics out of BG East shoots, so I continue to applaud Our Man Inside (OMI) who once again has dropped a manilla envelope full of random, unpublished BGE candids on my doorstep. This envelope was huge, so I’ll try to refrain from taking up too much space with my comments or speculations. Though, who am I kidding?  I can’t restrain myself from speculating. In any case, OMI, you are my hero!

First up, we’ve got a whole bevy of poolside hotness. I have not appreciated Mad Mykel’s magnificent ass nearly enough until now. On the other hand, Ty Alexander and Richie Douglas’ asses have been on my radar for years. Honestly, who do I need to fuck to get to see more of Richie Douglas incredibly tasty body!? And ever a safety nut, I hope Mykel, Ty and Richie know that I’ve got to hands and a bottle of sunscreen at the ready. Anytime.

Next up, we get a sensationally rare treat of unpublished photos from the BG East ring. I’m instantly titillated by the site of an as-yet-unreleased match pitting papa Shane McCall ripping my long-time infatuation, Drake Marcos, limb from limb. The double team by Kayden Keller and Jonny Firestorm Camel-Crabbing flyweight phenom Charlie Evans is instantly huge drama making my mouth water. But holy fuck, I need to send OMI a gift basket as gratuity for a couple of extremely rare action pics of Kayden working over the stunningly handsome, hot as fuck classic hunk and declared man-of-my-dreams, a contemporary Scott Williams. Please, homoerotic wrestling gods, hear my prayer that this foreshadows new releases starring the Man of My Dreams!!!

So it appears OMI may be a creeper with sensationally good taste, because this next batch has a ton of BGE stars in various states of sleeping, waking, or possibly just cuddling in bed. Such intimate vulnerability. So many slack, supine, defenseless hunks on display. I have an incredibly strong urge to slide under the covers with Kayden and spoon him awake.

This next batch I’ve filed under “letting their hair down.” As I’ve said often, there’s something potently sexy about seeing the ring warriors of my homoerotic fantasies with their guards down, relaxed, happy, and as is evident in these stolen shots, abundantly goofy. And the goof-in-chief most definitely appears to be The Boss himself, who I hope to the homoerotic wrestling gods never finds out who dished me these cutting room floor shots of him hamming it up. This also reminds me, why haven’t we seen more of sensationally hot boybander, Baby Boy Nino Leone?

Finally, this last batch of relatively random shots I’ve compiled under the heading of BGE boys doing what they do best, namely, looking gorgeous. Reigning HWOTM Chase Addams eats shirtless, Drake rehydrates after that match with Papa Shane, and KL, Kayden and Charlie prove how devastatingly handsome they look all cleaned up. And then there’s Ty, Kayden and Jonny looking like they’re acting a Shakespearean scene. Shirtless, of course.

Again, OMI, my deepest gratitude and promise of pseudo-journalistic integrity when it comes to never, ever, under any circumstances up to and including corporal torture, will I disclose anything I know about your true identity. Keep the good times and behind the scenes goodies coming. And all of you BGE boys outed for your handsome smiles and adorability in stolen moments of candid life, keep looking gorgeous. Don’t change a thing.

Charming as Fuck

Last month’s release of Ring Rookies 5 marked the sophomore appearance of Chase Addams at BG East. He made a big impression on me in his debut last summer as a newbie featured in an unprecedented two matches on one DVD in Tag Team Torture 19. When I got the chance to interview him and his already-former tag team partner, Ty Alexander, I could easily see why Chase has already earned the defining adjective of “charming.” Frankly, I’ve been jonesin’ to see Charming Chase climb into the ring again, and was delighted as fuck to finally get my wish granted in his fantastic match against another hot rookie charmer, Charlie Evans. Having formally reviewed the match earlier, I was further thrilled to get Charming Chase on the line for another interview, breaking down his most recent ring performance and speculating on all things homoerotic wrestling.


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Charming Chase Addams

Bard: Chase Addams, welcome back to my interview chair! What have you been up to since we spoke last summer?

Chase: Thanks Bard, I haven’t been up to too terribly much. I’ve moved from the country to the city recently, more people who wrestle and hone my craft with.

Bard: Congratulations on the move. Lucky urbanites who now have the opportunity to get into your wrestling schedule! I also remember a sensationally intense promo you posted on Facebook around the New Year. As I remember, that video caught a whole lot attention, including from The Boss himself.

Chase: Ah, yes, the reaction video. It was less a promo and more so a stream of consciousness. I was just giving my honest feedback on how I felt the results from the “end of year” voting came out. I may or may not have called out some people and thrown some others under the bus.

Bard: Congratulations on the huge success that your Tag Team Torture 19 did in the polls. Best Ring Match and Best Overall Match for your first on camera appearances at BG East is an epic achievement. As I recall, from your video reaction, you weren’t quite satisfied, though. You took issue with Beauxregard edging you out for Best Debut, and even called out Jonny Firestorm for coasting to the Top Heel award.

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Beauxregard – Debut of the Year 2016

Chase: What can I say? Fans certainly have their tastes, Beaux and I definitely appeal to two very different customers. I’m the young, thin, crafty grappler, and he is the big muscle daddy. BG does its best to please everyone. As a mutual friend pointed out, Beaux is willing to get naked in every match. I’m not about that life personally. I won’t say it will never happen, but when it does, I want it to be especially memorable. Beaux is almost a reminder of someone like BBW, so while I’m not “okay” losing the vote to him, I can rationalize it. Jonny is a little different. Jonny is someone that I always looked up to and aspired to be like even before I stepped foot into a BG ring. He’s undoubtedly one of the top heels of the company, which is why I called him out. When you need to make a name for yourself, you call out the biggest dog in the yard and you put him down.

Bard: That sounds like a mature response to a disappointing loss in the polls. As for you wrestling naked, let me just be the first to say, “yes, please!” A little tease can definitely make the gift that much more enjoyable to unwrap. Just don’t tease us forever. Gay wrestling fans are notoriously fickle.

Chase: [laughing] Our community does have a thing for instant gratification. There is no patience anymore. Oh, fuck, no, we are completely intolerant of delayed gratification these days. Alas.

 

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Biggest dog in the yard Jonny Firestorm

Bard: I love that you’ve got your sights set on Jonny. And again, it sounds like you’ve made a mature, careful calculation that getting the respect you feel you deserve requires you to take on the best. Speaking of delays and prolonged teases, it seemed to me like there was a long delay between your debut DVD last summer and your follow-up appearance with BG East just a couple of weeks ago.

 

Chase: Yeah, how about that? Patience is a virtue, but even I was starting to get a little curious as to what was going on. I have learned that they try to group similar matches together for a DVD, such as tag team torture or backyard brawl. And to be fair, I have shown up with some “new” match ideas, and I can now see the problem with those being that there aren’t other like-matches to group them with onto a single DVD. Perhaps I can film a few more unique matches, and they can just put a compilation of them together and call it Chase’s Charm School.

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Taking Charlie to charm school

Bard: Damn, that’s… a fantastic idea! And I love that you’re already picturing yourself as the anchor of a franchise. I reviewed your Ring Rookies 5 match recently, and needless to say, I loved it. A lot. With just 3 matches in your catalog so far, already 2 of them are grudge matches. Is that first tag team loss going to haunt you forever, do you think?

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Christian Taylor’s “pretty little head”

Chase: I feel like “haunt” isn’t the best word to use. If I was being haunted by something, it would be terrorizing me. Personally I feel like those three who got in my way in the tag team match are the ones who should be hiding from me. Ty and Charlie have already fallen victim. If Christian knows what’s good for him, he will stay off my radar. That being said, I really hope he flies onto my radar.

Bard: It’s certainly true you’ve picked off both Ty and now Charlie in singles competition, and I’d pay money to see BGE’s resident kissing champ, Christian Taylor, face down your Will Breaker again. Fuck, I’d pay triple if that were to turn into your first full Monty match.

Chase: Who knows. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. Christian has to rear his pretty little head first. If he doesn’t, there are a few others I’ve been scoping out as possibilities.

Bard: Sweet homoerotic wrestling gods, I’m just picturing Christian, stripped naked, trussed up in your Will Breaker. Fuck, talk about a haunting image. I will use every Jedi mind trick at my disposal to get that match to happen. Your match against adorable Charlie Evans certainly turned brutal, now didn’t it?

Chase: What I wouldn’t do to get my hands all over Charlie Evans all over again.

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Chase gets his hands all over Charlie

Bard: I definitely noted that you seemed to enjoy your hands lingering on Charlie’s tight, taut little muscles. Am I correct that wrestling Charlie was turning you on?

Chase: I will let you decide for yourself.

Bard: Well, if it were up to me, that match would’ve been both your and Charlie’s full Monty debut. I’m a big fan of the fiery, earnest little Ginger Warrior for a lot of reasons. What is about Charlie that inspired you to stroke and squeeze and sample his flyweight body?

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Eyes on the prize

Chase: He’s just so innocent and pure… I want to corrupt him.

Bard: [laughing] Fuck, that’s hot. He does have a bit of Dudley Do-right about him, doesn’t he? I’ve been crushing on his tight ass for a long time, so I just have to ask what it was like digging your fingertips into those sweet, snowy white cheeks?

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The dance

Chase: Like I said, I’d do anything to get my hands back on him. I feel like I will someday. Charlie and I have debuted together, and I feel like we’re going to be doing this dance together for a long time to come.

Bard: I’m infatuated by your infatuation! As you know, I’ve been following this industry fanatically for a long time, and I think it’s about time we saw a premier young wrestler who is primarily motivated to climb back into the ring by pure lust. I love the bro-downs, the macho need to be top dog and all of that, but a sexy young stud who just wants to conquer an opponent in order to satisfy erotic desire is so needed in this business! We should be clear that Charlie was most definitely no pushover against you, though.

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Ginger tricks

Chase: Charlie caught me off guard for sure. Those same tricks won’t happen again. He had better learn new tricks or be waiting for me on a silver platter.

Bard: I think you and Charlie also have in common an honest appreciation for the science and art of pro wrestling. You both take a lot of pride in innovating and branding your signature moves. His Ginger Snap is one of the sexiest maneuvers I’ve seen in a long time. But he couldn’t pull that move off on you a second time.

Chase: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. He’s definitely going to think twice before attempting that again with me.

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Ginger Snap Interrupted

Bard: Your counter to his Ginger Snap was a sight to behold. For fans who haven’t seen it, just as Charlie went in for a handstand, locking his legs around your head to snap you head over heels to the mat, you actually grab him around the back and pull him up onto your chest, your face buried in his crotch. The lingering pause right at the moment is sooooo sexy. But I’m sure you’re right, he won’t soon forget you power slamming him to his back from 6 feet in the air.

Chase: I do like to leave a mark.

Bard: Fuck, his porcelain white skin is so marked up with hot, fire engine red marks by the end of that match. I loved getting another look at your Will Breaker. Actually, you tie Charlie up twice in that gravity defying hold. I count 3 times you’ve applied the Will Breaker on camera, and you’ve milked out a screaming submission every time. Do you think of that as your signature move?

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Will Breaker

Chase: It’s weird to think of the Will Breaker as the signature move, because I can’t apply it on everyone. I learned that lesson the hard way when I was first learning how to do the move. I got overly ambitious with a guy who was a little heavier than I was and ended up in the ER. Suspending someone’s entire body weight isn’t easy. It’s a challenge of strength and balance.

Bard: Damn, that sounds like a hard lesson to have learned. I’m glad you came out of it to wrestle another day. You certainly have a deeper arsenal of holds than most rookies I’ve seen. Do you improvise a lot, based on what you encounter in the midst of the match, or are you more of a planner, climbing in with a game plan and executing it?

Chase: I go into each match with a plan, but as you saw with Charlie, sometimes I lose myself in the moment and go purely off instinct. I wasn’t planning on holding Charlie by the neck against me as I ran my free hand across his sexy body, but it happened in the moment, and I couldn’t have asked for anything better.

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The art of improvisation

Bard: Well, that was inspired, as far as I’m concerned. I’ve gone on the record saying that I think pristine little Charlie could very well snap at some point at show us a truly momentous heel turn for the ages. You place-kicking him in the balls, nibbling on his ear, putting him out cold in a figure-4 choke have got to help that process along. What do you think of the idea of Charlie turning dark?

Chase: I’d love to be the one to help him find that inner darkness.

Bard: Would you ever team up again for a tag match, say with Dark Charlie, or did Tag Team Torture 19 spoil you for team efforts?

Chase: Well, I’ll never say never

Bard: So you’ve got your sights set on Jonny, you could poke the bear that is Beauxregard, and you fully expect to find Charlie in your orbit in the future. Who else do you think could end up being another stepping stone along your path to conquer BG East?

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#1 Jayden Mayne

Chase: Jayden Mayne will forever remain my number one most desired opponent. I have always been a huge fan of his work. There are others who I feel are in everyone’s sights like Kid Karisma (and for good reason). Two new people who I’ve seen that I really enjoyed was Cap Landon and Zip Zarella. Joey King is also one who would be fun. Outside of that there are some others who haven’t made a debut or even a recording yet, but I hear whispers of talks being done. I won’t divulge the rumor mill with any names since all I’ve heard are whisperings with no confirmations.

Bard: I’ll keep plying you with charm until I get your secrets out of you.

Chase: Hmm, out charming me? That’d be a first.

Bard: [laughing] I can always try. I love your short list of opponents to tackle. I’m a long-standing fan of Jayden, and I’m also a little instantly infatuated with Zip and Cap. I’ve seen some pretty fucking inspiring victory poses of you on your Facebook page, celebrating over the beaten bodies of some private opponents. Are your private matches an asset for your BG East work? Are you able to try out new holds, or do those tend to be less competitive?

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Keeping on top of the local competition

Chase: The St. Louis wrestling community isn’t nearly as large as the ones in a place like Boston, so we are really closely knit group. We try to meet every few weeks to at least practice holds to make sure we’re not getting rusty or to try out new things. It’s pretty great.

Bard: I like hearing that there’s a camaraderie there. That definitely sounds like an asset. Speaking of assets, I don’t know that I’ve talked since you were my personal pick for Best Nipples of 2016. I hope all the attention on our nips doesn’t end up making them a target for future opponents.

Chase: I don’t mind having a target on me. Comes with being the best.

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Chase a couple of days ago, in fighting shape

Bard: Well, in that case, consider me painting two targets right there across your hot chest! There’s definitely a whole different line of offense for wrestling in homoerotic circles when compared to mainstream pro. I know you’re a fanatical student of pro, but when it comes to underground gay, do you feel like you’re well-prepared for the nipple torture, ball bashing, cock stroking angles that some BG East matches hinge upon?

Chase: I’m more than ready.

Bard: Sensational! I’m looking forward to it. As both a wrestler and a fan, are there aspects of wrestling that you find a particular turn on? Particular holds? Body types? Character types?

Chase: I just love the psychological aspect. The hunter/prey thing peaks my “interest.”

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That moment a predator sinks his teeth into his prey

Bard: I hear you. The drama of the conquest sorts me right out. Some hot, cocky wrestler getting broken and owned is definitely “interesting” to me. Which I think is what grabs me so hard with your career thus far. Your last two matches are so motivated. You walk in with a point to make, and bit by bit, hold by hold, you make it. With a few matches now under your belt, what advice would you give to total newbies just about to sign up for their first BG East match?

Chase: [laughing] Stay out of my way or be bent into a pretzel.

Bard: That sounds like sage advice that I most certainly hope that no one follows! Is there anything more you can tell fans about your plans for upcoming matches? Any new holds you’re working?

Chase: Oh, I’m always working on new holds and things of that nature. I can’t go into details about upcoming releases, but like I said earlier, I film “unique” matches which is why my releases are kind of spread out. Just know that when my name is placed in the catalog that I’m about to steal the show.

Bard: Well, my heart pumps faster when I see a new release with your name on it. You continue to be charming, as advertised. I want to thank you for returning to my interview chair again. I hope it won’t be the last time.

Chase: Anytime for you Bard

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Charm School Headmaster

And the Winner Is…

The Best of BG East in 2016 has already been announced! Damn, that was fast. Clearly, I get into awards season heavily, so of course I need to debrief.

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Top Babyface of 2016 – Biff Farrell

Biff’s ascendancy to the throne as Top Babyface is a remarkable rise for last year’s Debut of the Year winner. Seriously, we’ve been lusting after this gorgeous muscle man for less than two years! And just like that, he steps in, yanks the title from longtime title holder Jake Jenkins, and slaps JJ to the curb. There’s a reason that I let alliteration go fucking nuts when I’m talking about big, blond, blue-eyed, buff, bulging, beautiful babyfaced Biff.

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Best Abs of 2016 – Chace LaChance

With no defending title holders in the pool, Chace LaChance muscled his washboard right onto the throne as having the best abs. I had guessed that Chace might leverage his army of body worshipping fans to fill this vacuum.

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Best Body of 2016 – Kid Karisma

Fuck, yeah! I have been arguing for years that Kid Karisma had the best body from top to bottom, and I’m thrilled that the court of public opinion has finally agreed with me. Last year’s winner, Chace, wasn’t even nominated, which certainly begs the question of who would fans want to worship more today. And there’s absolutely no other possible way to resolve this question than a jock strap wrestling match in the ring. And I STILL say Kid K’s body would rock the competition out cold.

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Best Bulge of 2016 – Kirk Donahue

Honestly, I’m unaccustomed to being so much in the majority when it comes to the Besties. But like me, a whole lot of the rest of you also noticed Kirk Donahue’s gargantuan bulge this year. I can think of no hotter scenario than Pete Sharp and Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) coming back in 2017 for a 3 way bulge off.

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Top Heel of 2016 – Jonny Firestorm

I’m shocked and aroused to learn that Guido Genatto just got beaten by Jonny Firestorm for the title to Top Heel. I said that if anyone could do it, it would be Jonny. Guido is loud, and huge, and nasty, but Jonny just shut the Dirty Daddy up but good by taking the title.

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Best Butt of 2016 – Kid Karisma

Again, I say, fuck, yeah! At what point do we just name this the Kid Karisma award? I’m thrilled to be with the herd in getting behind (and I mean, close behind) Kid K’s glorious glutes for yet another year as Best Butt. I know of at least 2 former contenders who didn’t get nominated who are bitter as shit, but not me. I’m just leaning back, a little light headed, and soaking in the sight of the Eighth Wonder of the World, Kid K’s unsurpassed ass.

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Tob Jobber in 2016 – Ty Alexander

Again, I was consistent with the popular vote in calling Ty Alexander Top Jobber yet again. On the one hand, it’s a dubious distinction to be a Top Jobber repeat. No one exactly likes to lose, do they? On the other hand, a jobber of Ty’s quality can make even a train wreck of a match compelling. And I predict that if he keeps that bleach blond ‘do, he’ll get his ass spanked relentlessly yet again in 2017.

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Debut of the Year 2016 – Beauxregard

I hedged my bets big time in the Debut of the Year category, but true enough, my vote didn’t swing things Chase Addams’ way. Instead, it was one of the other hot newcomers I thought was in contention taking the title this year, rock hard Beauxregard. I love what he brings to the table, and I think all of BG East is better for it. I’m looking forward to seeing what big Beaux accomplishes in 2017.

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Best Submission of 2016 – Jonny Firestorm & Calvin Haynes in Hunkbash 18

Congratulations to Jonny and Calvin for taking the enigmatic title of Best Submission of 2016. I had my eye on another contender, but it’s not so surprising that the bad ass who just took the title as Top Heel would lock down the Best Submission follow up. And there’s no arguing that he fucking brutalizes doe eyed babyface Calvin.

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Sexiest Match of 2016 – Dark Knights 13

A hearty congratulations to Kayden Keller and Debut of the Year winner Beauxregard on taking home the title for Sexiest Match of the year. It was a scorching hot field of contenders, and though I didn’t side with the majority on this one, there’s no denying they slapped down what was almost certainly the most explicit, sweaty, sexy assed heel on heel beatdown of the year. Well earned praise for KayK and a super hot haul for Beaux’s first year in the business.

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Best Ring Match of 2016 – Tag Team Torture 19 – Addams & Alexander vs. Evans & Taylor

I wasn’t playing coy with just how infatuated I was with this match, so I’m thrilled no end to see it take the Best Ring Match title. If even one of the four of these young studs was a weak link in the chain, a complex tag team melodrama like this could have easily been a dud. But every one of the wrestlers in this match earned every praise and every award it got. Now when do we get to see Team All-Americans tear into the tag team ranks again?

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Best Squash of 2016 – Demolition 21 – LaCash vs. Sorell

Kip Sorell got squashed like a bug by Flash LaCash, and fans picked it as the best of 2016. I’m generally lukewarm on this genre in general, but I get it. This is a hot match. My vote went elsewhere, but I’m so not in the mainstream when it comes to squashes in general, I’m not too surprised.

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Best Mat Match of 2016 – Undagear 25 – Andrews vs. Marcos

This was a close second choice for me, but I was irked not to get a chance to vote for what I thought was an even sexier Drake Marcos match. In any case, kudos to Drake and Ethan for nailing down this victory with gallons of sweat and tears and some damn fine mat wrestling. This was super competitive, brutal, and sexy as fuck.

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Hottest Liplock of 2016 – Wet & Wild 8 – Taylor & Haynes

I didn’t vote with the majority in this category, either, but there’s no denying the remarkable passion in that pumping, grinding, grunting make out session between Christian Taylor and Calvin Haynes. I’m thrilled to see both Christian and Calvin starring in multiple award winners this year. And when it comes to liplocks, really… is anyone a loser?

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Best Wrestler Spotlight of 2016 – Chace LaChance

Chace continued to show off his blazing fan power with a win in the category of Best Spotlight. I had this as a third place on my score card, so I clearly broke with the herd. But the definition of a wrestler spotlight is fan power, so congratulations to Chace and all of the opponents who made this DVD a winner.

Best Overall Match of 2016 – Tag Team Torture 19 – Addams & Alexander vs. Evans & Taylor

You don’t know how thrilled I am to see fans select the opening match of Tag Team Torture 19 as the Best Overall Match of 2016. It got universally rave reviews from all of us who take the time to blog about this stuff. I’m pleased as punch that fans were of like mind with us bloggers, and I hope it does nothing but push for more tag team matches, more selfies, and much, much more of Christian Taylor, Charlie Evans, Ty Alexander, and Chase Addams.

Congratulations to everyone who won, and to all the nominees. It was an outstanding year at BG East, precisely because everyone in front of the camera and everyone behind the camera did such an excellent job producing high quality homoerotic wrestling of that flavor that only BG East can quite manage. I would argue there are no losers here.

And the Nominees Are…

Tonight. Midnight. Submit your votes for the Best of BG East in 2016. I realize that I’m atypical when it comes to how many BG East matches I watch over the year, so this little voter’s guide is intended to help fill in any blanks some of you may have for lack of exposure to some of the nominees. If 2016 teaches us nothing else, it proves that nothing requires us to be educated and informed voters. However, if you prefer to vote based on something other than your cock’s reaction to one still photo, but you don’t have time to see the whole ballot of matches, feel free to consider my opinions for what they’re worth (which is relatively little, but a little more than voting with no basis whatsoever).

Let’s power through the remaining categories to finish off your ballot.

Best Mat Battle

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Babyface Brawl 4 – Cameron Matthews vs. Jonah Richards

It’s a little surprising to consider this match “from the vaults” for a 2016 award. Both Jonah and especially Cameron were so young in this match. It’s hard not to superimpose what we know about how Cameron grew up, muscled up, and launched his own production company since this match was taped. I loved this match immensely. It’s rough and raw. The boys clearly hate the fuck out of each other. Lovely, lickable twinks who may look like babies but wrestle like nasty back alley brawlers.

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Gazebo Grapplers 18 – Kid Karisma vs. Mason Brooks

It’s a close call for me, but my vote goes to Kid K and Mason. Both of these beautiful boys are perennial favorites of mine, so I had very high hopes for this match going in. They didn’t disappoint, and in fact the intensity is even hotter, the bodies even more beautiful, and the mat wrestling drama even more compelling than I’d expected. It also helps that these hunks so enjoy each other’s bodies. It’s cocky and playful and reads like the hottest foreplay in history.

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Undagear 25 – Jake Jenkins vs. Attila Dynasty

Similarly, I’ve never seen a match that includes JJ or Attila that fails to get me off. It’s a match up of an amateur mat champ and a ripped, acrobatic brawler. These are both thoroughbred athletes with massive egos, so the action is brutal and vicious. Not nearly as much erotic heat as Gazebo 18, but magnificent mat wrestling nonetheless.

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Wrestler Spotlight 3 Austin Cooper vs. Jake Ryder

The narrative behind Coop and Ryder’s mat tussle is great. Coop’s competitive amateur wrestling days seem so far behind him, since he’s been showing up as Dr. Cooper and dissecting opponents like a heart surgeon (aka, mercilessly) in the ring. So Jake seems to be unaware that Coop kicks ass on the mats as well. Ryder lies and cheats his way into putting the doctor into serious jeopardy, but in a lush mash up of babyface Austin and his Dr. Cooper heel alter ego, this mat battle turns nasty pro.

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Undagear 26 – Van Skyler vs. Payton Meadows

I’ve written a small novel about what this match does for me, so I’ll try not to repeat myself. What grabs me by the balls most is how both of these dazzlingly pretty boys show us something completely new. They’re gorgeous. The wrestling is completely ego driven. They’re gorgeous. The dialogue is sensationally sexy. They’re gorgeous. And the all in, vicous submissions are way more intense and work than I expect to see from supremely pretty boys like this. Oh, yeah, and they’re gorgeous.

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Undagear 25 – Drake Marcos vs. Ethan Andrews

Speaking intensity born of dislike, Drake and Ethan rip into each other with a passion that can’t quite be described with words. They’re mean to each other. They’re vicious and brutal. It turns sensationally sexy as the gear gets stripped, but not so much because they turn each other on, but because you get the impression that the final victory lap (after the pony ride) could very well be a domineering, taunting, sneering, contemptuous fuck. Buckets of sweat. A couple pints of tears. Lush bodies. This is a very close second choice for me.

 

Hottest Liplock

We almost certainly all know what we like about liplocks. I like sweat, palpable passion, a tablespoon of aggression, and authentic lust. Here are your options.

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Dark Knights 13 – Kayden Keller vs Beauxregard

I’m in an ethical dilemma when it comes to giving you a look at the first nominee for Hottest Liplock. BG East has an embargo on me sharing any of their pics that contain full frontal, and yet the only shots of this liplock include both wrestlers with their full-mast cocks in hand. So I’m hoping that I’ll be forgiven for cropping out the bottom of this shot, to stay within the strictly PG requirements I’ve agreed to, despite having to drop the BG East copyright at the bottom of the photo. If this photo suddenly disappears and is replaced by a puppy, you’ll know that I have been asked, and as always I’ve agreed, to a request from the copyright holder to remove the image. All that fine print aside, this is a hot liplock, right?

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Wet & Wild 8 – Christian Taylor vs. Calvin Haynes

Sensationally sexy liplock between Christian and Calvin. The authenticity is well-established long ahead of time, as they both telegraph all along that they are turning each other on. If you still doubt it, their rock hard cocks straining the pouches of their trunks should prove the point.

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Sexy Showdown 7 – Drake Marcos vs. Nino Leone

My vote goes to Drake’s kiss-‘n’-pin of gorgeous newbie Nino “Babyboy” Leone. It ticks off all of my boxes, including sweat, passion, simmering aggression, and what is quite obviously open lust. This is one of the most brutal matches this year, which makes the incredibly tender ending that much more dizzying. Squarely in the homoerotic sweet spot.

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The Great Outdoors 2 – Charlie Evans vs. Blaine Janus

When it comes to quantity, Charlie and Blaine very well may have locked lips the most in their ginger-off in the backyard. I believe Blaine gets the award for popping Charlie’s (kissing) cherry first in his homoerotic wrestling career, but Charlie is quite clearly abundantly skilled in sucking face and using it as a defensive maneuver on the mats. For kissing as chess match move, I give this liplock a close second place on my ballot.

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Motel Madness UK: Chris Xaos vs. Mike Martin

I get the impression that I am as big a fan of Chris Xaos as most of the rest of you are of Mike Martin. So between the two of us (you, me), we should be crazy for their scorching hot mat match this year. The liplock is more teasing than passionate, for my tastes. That said, I’d change my vote for a chance to stick my tongue down Chris Xaos’ throat (well, if he’s naked).

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Undagear 26: Christian Taylor vs. Jeremy Burk

There’s nothing teasing about Christian and Jeremy’s passion at the end of their hot and rough mat match. This is a full on make out session, and it’s lathered in sweat, and it’s got a half a cup of aggression still playing out, and I fully believe these boys are into each other. Christian is the reigning kissing master at BG East, which may work against him this time around for the potential vote splitting with his liplock on Calvin.

 

Best Wrestler Spotlight

It seems like a testimony to a wrestler’s marketability to get an entire DVD release devoted to one person. So the three nominees this year for Best Wrestler Spotlight represent some major fan favorites.

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Wrestler Spotlight: Biff Farrell

Biff follows up with his victory as Debut of the Year last year with multiple nominations across the ballot, including for his Wrestler Spotlight. He’s compelling and gorgeous. I actually think the strength of this collection is in the quality of his opponents, though. You get the impression everyone wants a shot at this ridiculously hot beefcake. This is a very close second place for me.

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Wrestler Spotlight: Austin Cooper (3)

Has anyone ever starred in 3 Wrestler Spotlight DVDs before? Although this collection tends toward showing off Coop’s work as a gorgeously bashable babyface, his mat match with Jake Ryder gives some awesome flashes of Dr. Cooper hanging out his shingle. The quality of his opponents is less consistent than the other two Wrestling Spotlights, but Coop has emerged as such a fantastic, complex, competitive, multifaceted character, that I’m persuaded (just) to cast my vote for him.

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Wrestler Spotlight: Chace LaChance

Chace’s spotlight is sort of a retrospective of his career, featuring him as the go-go boy, the beefsteak, and the fitness model that he has been at different phases of his wrestling. His end of the bargain is less consistent than the other two Wrestling Spotlight stars, which is to be expected considering these matches come from such drastically different parts of his career. Still, although there’s nothing to complain about, I enjoyed Coop’s cubed spotlight the best.

 

Best 2016 Overall Match

Now the free for all starts.  I know well that fans are fierce about their favorites, and when comparing apples to oranges, there’s no pretense of objectivity or even a measurable standard to point to. Seven times out of 10, I’m biased toward ring matches. I tend to favor big personalities and hot bodies in equal measure. I like to be surprised. I like to be made to laugh. And it is essential that I get hard.  With all those biases in mind, I’ll tell you how I see the field for Best of 2016.

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Tag Team Torture 19 – Addams & Alexander vs. Evans & Taylor

First on the ballot is my pick for the Best Overall Match at BG East in 2016. It’s an instant classic. It’s sexy as hell. Two incredible debuts. Drama, drama, drama. Very high quality pro wrestling. Intramural rivalries. And dick pic selfies. It’s everything I could want in a match (except for a copy of those dick pics).

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Matmen 26: Drake Marcos vs. Skrapper

A very close second place for me is this masterpiece on the mats between Drake and Skrapper. If I’d had the option, I very well might have picked this over Mason and Kid Karisma for the Best Mat Battle, but alas, the nominating committee didn’t see fit to give me the chance.  The wrestling is outstanding. The erotic tension is thick and juicy. And the boys are real and beautiful. The only edge TTT19 has on this for me is the full throttle pro ring vibe.

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Ring Releases 4: Drake Marcos vs. Kayden Keller

So put Drake in the ring with Kayden Keller, and you might think I’d be unable to resist. I resist, though. It swings hard for a slasher vibe, but doesn’t quite connect. TTT19 and Drake’s work in Matmen 26 hit the bullseye better. And then there’s Drake’s gear to consider (smh).

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Demolition 20: Austin Cooper vs. Kirk Donahue

Watching cocky indy pro Kirk Donahue get trampled by a “mere” underground phenom like Dr. Cooper is guaranteed to tickle my funny bone and get me hard. This is a magnificent beatdown and totally worthy of a shot at the title, but it just didn’t get my vote.

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Undagear 25: Drake Marcos vs. Ethan Andrews

That’s right, haters, Drake Marcos anchors a full half of the Best Match nominees this year! I recently referred to 2016 as the year of the rookie, but it may have to be rebranded as the year of Drake. The heat is scorching in his match with Ethan. And I do love seeing bully-Ethan face off against someone who gives it right back to him. But the raw rage and bitterness don’t quite put this match over Drake’s match with Skrapper for me, and neither quite persuade me to tip them over Tag Team Torture 19.

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Gazebo Grapplers 18: Kid Karisma vs. Mason Brooks

See all my comments above about why I voted for this as Best Mat Battle, and then remind yourself that this does not take place in a wrestling ring. It’s immensely satisfying, funny, fierce and brutal, and it gets extra points in my book for Mason’s perfect (perfect) choice in undergarments. But I’m still throwing my one, lone vote to the fierce foursome in TTT19.

The real winner is you and me, of course. Such a rich, entertaining, arousing body of work from BG East in 2016 is why BG East is the first place I go for that particular mix of homoerotic wrestling that keeps me satisfied. Congratulations to all of the nominees (except for Kirk). You are, every last one of you, gorgeous to watch mix it up in the ring, on the mats, and everywhere else that the Boss’ imagination takes us. Thanks for all of the distractions in 2016 that kept me from the abyss of absolute despair over current events