Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

There were several outstanding candidates for Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month for the last month of 2017. The new releases were varied and outstandingly sexy, with notable appearances by a number to deserving hunks. Newbies and veterans alike turned my crank and made me stand up and cheer, but one hot hunk edged the fierce competition with sheer tenacity. December’s HWOTM is none other than…

 

 

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Kayden Keller.

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Kayden knocks the stuffing out of Carter Alexander

Not every Wrestler Spotlight adds up to being HWOTM, but Kayden’s debut Wrestler Spotlight easily hands the title to him. All three matches in the collection are fabulous. Kayden digs into Carter Alexander, Kirk Donahue, and Richie Douglas with studied, personalized brutality.

 

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Kayden is a fan pleaser

Kayden’s magnificent demolition of hot bro Carter Alexander was entertaining enough to earn my vote for Best Squash of 2017. The optics are outstanding. Kayden’s red trunks are perfection on his tall, smooth, sexy body.  Carter is the rare opponent who’s tall enough to pretty much look Kayden in the eye, so the apparent evenly matched set-up is that much more titillating to watch Kayden beat the living fuck out of the pin up boy mercilessly. Everyone hits the pause button when Kayden grabs the back of Carter’s trunks and yanks them violently up the pretty boy’s ass, giving Carter fans more of what we love about him so much.

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But, those legs….

During my interview with Kayden last summer, I nearly had to take a break because his legs were turning me on to distraction. So, watching those mile long beauties squeeze and crush Carter to screaming, weeping agony make a particularly potent image for me. The match as a whole is a contender because both studs are contributing maximum effort. Carter is selling like a mother fucker, and ever since he let slip to Kid Karisma in a moment of passion that he enjoys getting his hair pulled, I can’t help but picture him settling in with the remote control and a bottle of lube to get off on watching himself yanked around and cracked in half in this match.

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A belly button piercing!? Fuck, I hate this guy.

Nearly as satisfying for me is the second match on Kayden’s Spotlight, in which he beats the shit out of hot little pro punk Kirk Donahue. Fuck, I hate that guy. I mean, sure, he’s got one of the sexiest middle weight bodies in wrestling. And, yeah, he’s a phenomenally talented pro wrestler. So, I confess, he ticks off every box that should make me worship his lusciously round ass. But despite all of that, the instant I see him in the ring, I’m cheering for his opponent to rip him to pieces and make him cry. Am I the only one with this much antipathy toward Kirk?

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Scream, Kirk.  SCREAM!

Clearly, I am not the only one, because Kayden tears him limb from limb with a certain relish that convinces me that, as is quite often the case, he and I are exactly on the same page. A clear difference between this match and Kayden’s match with Carter is how competitive this is.  Kirk drives Kayden to that point that I enjoy so much, with Kayden’s high pitch screams of desperation digging him a hole that most dominant heels don’t have the ego strength to climb out of. But Kayden does, and I love watching him climb, dishing out that much more vicious punishment for the trouble. I just so love questioning if Kayden can still pull a match out, and then watch him rise to the occasion and walk away with his heel credentials completely intact (and Kirk’s balls not).

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“Let me show you some legs with real power.” – Kayden Keller

Knocking that smirk off of Kirk’s face and making him scream like sniveling bitch alone would have earned Kayden the title!

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Boy next door Richie Douglas puts the hurt on the big man

The final match on Kayden’s Spotlight pits him against It-Boy Richie Douglas. Richie’s stock has been skyrocketing lately, because he’s ridiculously sexy and has slowly revealed a growing appreciation for the sexy side of wrestling. The mismatch in size is stunning. Kayden towers over the boy next door. There’s a sweet give-and-take momentum to the match, however, which feeds both my desire to see Richie improve and to see Kayden have to climb out of a hole.

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Kayden ties Richie in knots with his incredibly long legs

Richie’s sell is the least compelling on this DVD, which only marginally detracts from the visual artwork that is watching Kayden pry him apart at the seams. The action includes a sweet mix of rapid fire momentum flips and long, succulent, crippling submission holds.  Richie is, indeed, improving in every match, and he’s just enough of a tasty challenge to hold up his end of the bargain as Kayden tells that sensational tale of getting upended and driven to the edge of despair, only to dig deeper into his bag of sadistic passion to plow an opponent under.

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“Do you regret ever getting into the ring with me!?”

Kayden Keller’s Spotlight is beautifully consistent without a hint of redundancy. Each opponent brings a different set of assets and challenges that test the rising heel in unique ways. Challenge by challenge, Kayden sucks down the hard knocks and summons his inner heel to not just turn the tables, not just conquer, but to utterly defile the trio of beautiful babyfaces determined to knock him off as BGE’s hottest young heel. And maybe that day will come. But it is not this day!  This day, Kayden Keller is the heel in charge and, unquestionably, homoerotic wrestler of the month.

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Kayden Keller – December 2017 Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Best Ink

I can respect gay wrestling fans that are turned off by tattoos. I can’t identify, but I can respect. I, on the other hand, often find them value added.  It’s not every example of skin art that I find sexy, but the right design, the right placement, the right body, and the right artist can exponentiate the allure of a homoerotic wrestler for me.  As for 2017, there were some ink classics and newbies classing up the ring with their artwork.  I’d prefer it if the perennial “tattoos suck” constituency would give it a rest for just this post, but do feel free to comment on what ink turns you on and why. As for me, here are my top 3 picks for the best wrestling ink I saw in 2017.

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In third place is a regular contender for this and many titles, Carter Alexander. In 2017, I think I only saw him wrestling for BG East, but he’s also wrestled in years past for MDW.  Carter is just fucking pretty, so there’s something copacetic about the design of his stylish artwork. The tat down the left side of his torso is particularly choice for me. It sort of demands that he lift his arm behind his head and flex his obliques, which circles me back around to just how fucking pretty he is.

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In second place for best ink in wrestling this year is W4H’s Christian Thorn. Like Carter, Christian is dazzlingly pretty, and his ink accentuates this obvious fact. The extensive coverage works for me because his body is so incredibly built, that it’s such a pleasure to explore and discover new art as he moves. The rib cage ink accentuates his wide lat spread, and the peak-a-boo lower abdominal tat screams sex. But it’s the design of his upper right arm, shoulder, and pec that I find absolutely stunning. That artwork is made for glistening with sweat and crushing some lucky opponent’s face in a cranking side headlock for art appreciation class.

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My pick for the very best ink in wrestling in 2017 easily goes to Zip Zarella. I’ve got such a massive crush on this indy pro hunk who debuted as a BGE newbie in 2017. His extensive pec tats are balanced, beautiful, and unapologetically in your face, which is precisely the way that Zip wrestles. He’s on the card for BG East’s live show at Wilton Manners on February 22, and I’m sending prayers 7 times a day to the homoerotic wrestling gods that Elite Eliot gets his lips on Zips nips. In the mean time, Zip can do no wrong in my book, and his gorgeous body and magnificent ring skills are perfectly paired with his gorgeous artwork.

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Zip appreciates being appreciated
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The ink is just part of the total package
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Artwork hanging from the ring ropes
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Looking this good, Zip can’t help but smile.

It’s a tough category for me to sort through, because I’m such an art lover. So here are some honorable mentions that nearly made the cut: Calvin Haynes (BGE), Ace Aarons (BGE), Eagle (Thunder’s Arena), and Joey Justice (MDW, aka Joey Nux at W4H).

And the Nominees Are…

I’ve learned that discussing how I vote in the BG East Besties is dangerous territory. The longer I’ve been blogging about homoerotic wrestling, the more I’ve grown to know many of the hard working men who make it happen. They never begrudge me my vote, but when I handicap the field and disclose how I cast my ballot, I’ve needed to smooth over some ruffled feathers and tend to friendships at times.  So here are some special instructions for the BG East wrestlers I know and have affection for: don’t take any of this too seriously. We love you all. This is way more about the fans than it is about you.

With that preamble out of the way, let’s dig into the Bestie nominations posted on Friday. As opposed to my own personal categories of favorites that I started sharing yesterday, these are my thoughts on those that BG East has nominated for their awards. I don’t see when polls will close, but I’ll try to make this quick so that it may inform any undecided voters looking for tips.

1. Sexiest Match

Instantly, I’m navigating those complicated waters with the first category. I’ve met six of the wrestlers involved in the six nominated matches and interviewed most of those. There’s a spectacular double debut match that burned holes in my retina it was so hot. None of these were misses, but some hit the spot just a little more squarely than others for me.  The nominees are…

  • Ty Alexander vs. Steve Mason (Wrestleshack 21)
  • Drake Marcos vs. Goren Ford (X-Fights 45)
  • Ty Alexander vs. Bruno LaBestia (Ringwars 28)
  • Tommie Hawk vs. Noah Samson (Undagear 28)
  • Kayden Keller vs. Leon Cyrus (X-Fights 44)
  • Cage Thunder vs. Mitch Colby (Motel Madness 14)

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When I sort through who to vote for sexiest match, I look for a match where both wrestlers express explicit, mutual lust. Kissing is nearly essential. Naked bodies and fully engaged cocks are a major plus. I want to believe that the action is stimulating the wrestlers as much as it is me. Of these nominees, the match that did this best is, arguably, Ty Alexander vs. Steve Mason in Wrestleshack 21. It hits all of my buttons, and the big (HUGE) reveal of Steve’s crotch monster is epic. My fall back option is the astonishingly sexy match between Tommie Hawk and Noah Samson in Undagear 28. Since Ty is splitting the vote this year, I’m guessing that someone else may take the popular vote, but honestly, I don’t even have a good guess as to who that will be.

2. Best Mat Battle

The best mat category is probably the most competitive for me this year. I met 5 of the hunks in these nominated matches last summer and was delighted by them all. When it comes to evaluating mat matches, I look for competitive, intimate, battles with long held moves and close ups of exquisite anguish. I like to see amateur moves translated into a gay, pro context. I prefer the serious sell, with big egos convincing me that they want it, and that the final, humiliating victory is up for grabs. The nominees this year are…

  • Kirk Donahue vs. Carter Alexander (Backyard Brawls 9)
  • Cage Thunder vs. Mitch Colby (Motel Madness 14)
  • Tino Valencia vs. Ski Vance (Catch Weight 8)
  • Austin Cooper vs. Christian Taylor (Undagear 28)
  • Calvin Haynes vs. Nino Leone (Catch Weight 8)
  • Ace Aarons vs. Ash DeLeon (Mat Rookies 3)

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So much to choose from! I’m bitterly torn between Austin Cooper vs. Christian Taylor in Undagear 28 and Ace Aarons vs. Ash DeLeon in Mat Rookies 3. My hunch is that when it comes time to pull the lever, I’ll go with the shockingly intense Undagear match with that sensationally surprising ending. My hunch is that the popular vote will swing to Austin and Christian as well, as two of the popular headliners that regularly draw the fans (an advantage over Ace and Ash). Cage and Mitch’s match is, however, already the stuff of legends. But if you really like shocking endings, Calvin and Nino’s battle is soooo sweetly surprising. Damn. This category is tough for me.

3. Best Ring Match

In judging the quality of a ring match, I’m looking for a match that exploits the context. I want a match that treats pro wrestling with the respect it deserves. I like to see power and speed, with a strong narrative and larger than life characters. The nominees for best ring match are…

  • Joey King vs. Zip Zarella (Ring Kings)
  • Jonny Firestorm vs. Kirby Stone (Pros in Private 11)
  • Kid Karisma vs. Jobe Zander (Bulge Battles 1)
  • Kid Karisma vs. Ethan Andrews (Heel Bash 2)
  • Cole Cassidy vs. Joshua Goodman (Ringwars 26)
  • Toney Rico vs. Chase Addams (Ringwars 28)

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Another highly competitive slate! Kid Karisma may split his vote. My vote will almost certainly go with Toney Rico vs. Chase Addams in Ringwars 28 this year (see my review for all of the reasons). Kid K and Jobe is awfully close, though.  Jonny vs. Kirby has got to be the best ring wrestling of the year, but the narrative isn’t as colorful as Toney and Chase’s. Cole and Joshua put together the most colorful characters and delightful drama, but the wrestling isn’t as pro-forward.  My very tentative guess as to who the majority will break for is Jonny and Kirby, mostly based on the hardcore Jonny fanatics out there.

4. Best Squash

My least favorite category. Though I know a lot of you love a good squash. I guess when squashes work for me, I have a reason to both particularly want to see the victim suffer and the dominator dish it out. I also need to be convinced by the stud on the receiving end. Squashes can become boring for me, so the guy getting squashed needs to seriously convince me that he’s hurting, and he’s not phoning it in. This year’s nominees are…

  • Kayden Keller vs. Carter Alexander (Wrestler Spotlight: Kayden)
  • Thrash vs. El Favorito (Masked Mayhem 12)
  • Kid Karisma vs. Reese Wells (Ringwars 27)
  • Lane Hartley vs. Kirk Donahue (Demolition 22)
  • Kid Vicious vs. Devon Britt-Darby (Gut Bash 13)
  • Cap Landon vs. Kelly King (Knock Outs 3)

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My choice is Kayden vs. Carter in Kayden’s Wrestler Spotlight. While I do love watching Kayden dig back from a deficit, I never grow tired of watching him plow pretty boys under. I’ve also had a craving to watch Carter getting hurt ever since he let slip in his match with Kid Karisma that he not-so-secretly (anymore) enjoys getting his hair pulled as he’s dominated. For a squash, Kayden keeps the pace intense, and Carter suffers exquisitely. He has this choking, half-laugh sob that makes my crotch twitch. A close second place in this category for me is Thrash vs. El Favorito, though El Favorito has more offense than I typically credit to a squash. Same goes for Kid K vs. Reese. I’ll guess the majority will break either for Kayden and Carter or Lane and Kirk, depending on whether the tide breaks for the leaning-to-erotic or the hardcore indy pro vibe.

5. Best Submissions

Somehow making this category plural clears up my confusion about how to evaluate it. I’m using a standard of making my pick based on the number, variety, and creativity of submissions in a given match. The nominees for the match with the best submissions this year are…

  • Austin Cooper vs. Christian Taylor (Undagear 28)
  • Tino Valencia vs. Skip Vance (Catch Weight 8)
  • Kayden Keller vs. Richie Douglas (Kayden’s Wrestling Spotlight)
  • Jonny Firestorm vs. Kirby Stone (Pros in Private 11)
  • Joey King vs. Zip Zarella (Ring Kings)
  • Chase Addams vs. Charlie Evans (Ring Rookies 5)

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By a long shot, for this category I’m going with Jonny vs. Kirby in Pros in Private 11. The submissions fly nearly frantically, except everything is polished, exacting, and precise. Both of these pros are marvelously talented, and they bring out the best (and worst) in each other. It’s just an added bonus that Kirby’s ass drives me crazy. When it comes to the rest of the field, my next choice is a tie between Chase and Charlie and Joey and Zip.  I won’t be surprised if Jonny and Kirby win this category, but if not, I suspect it could swing Austin and Christian’s way.

6. Hottest Liplock

When I’m deciding which wrestling liplock is hottest, I’m looking for passion. I prefer liplocks harshly ambivalent, with equal parts rage and lust. The nominees this year are as follows…

  • Christian Taylor vs. Mason Brooks (Bedroom Brawl 3)
  • Calvin Haynes vs. Nino Leone (Catch Weight 8)
  • Ash DeLeon vs. Ace Aarons (Mat Rookies 3)
  • Lauden Sevior vs. Drake Marcos (Undagear 27)
  • Nino Leone vs. Bruno LaBestia (Wrestleshack 21)
  • Ty Alexander vs. Steve Mason (Wrestleshack 21)

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I’m solidly voting for Ash and Ace in Mat Rookies 3. Talk about a gorgeous concoction of passionate lust and passionate aggression! Damn. A runner-up option for me would be Lauden and Drake. I don’t know who the popular vote will follow, but if I had to guess, I’d say Ty and Steve, based mostly on Ty’s get-out-the-vote credentials.

7. Best Overall Match

This category seems self-explanatory. I feel obligated to swing toward one of the “Best of” matches I’ve already picked, though there are a couple of matches in this category that weren’t nominated above, which makes open to a dark horse pick in my mind. In any case, this is the slate of nominees:

  • Cole Cassidy vs. Joshua Goodman (Ringwars 26)
  • Jonny Firestorm vs. Kirby Stone (Pros in Private 11)
  • Ty Alexander vs. Bruno LaBestia (Ringwars 28)
  • Austin Cooper vs. Christian Taylor (Undagear 28)
  • Kid Karisma vs. Jobe Zander (Bulge Battles 1)
  • Kid Karisma vs. Reese Wells (Ringwars 27)

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So yes to all of the above, but of these options, I’m going with Kid K vs. Jobe in Bulge Battles 1. This was a sensational match against two astonishingly accomplished homoerotic wrestling veterans. The suspense is fantastic. The action is graphic. The personalities are over the top in a way that only the likes of Kid K and Jobe can quite pull off. Second place for me is somewhere between Cole and Mr. Joshua, Jonny and Kirby, and Austin and Christian. My hunch is that Kid K splits his vote again and neither of his matches take the category. Instead, I think Cole and Mr. Joshua might pull of an upset, based on the fevered pleasure both Alex and I have for that match, though again, there’s Ty and his aggressive get-out-the-vote campaign.

So that’s my take on the first half of the ballot.  What’s yours?

Terrified

 

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Trey Dixon’s eyes pried open to witness the spectral visage of Thrash ripping him apart in Masked Destroyers

I hope everyone had a shocking Halloween. I’m also hoping to get another photo report from our favorite homoerotic wrestlers who delight in dressing up and showing us their costumes. In the mean time, I was mulling over a topic I’ve touched upon tangentially in the past, that seems particularly relevant this time of year: terror.

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Kirk Donahue may not get out of Demolition 18 alive

I should confess I’m a terror movie junkie. I tend toward the mind-fuck variety of horror flicks, particularly the sacrilegious, but the raw, mass body count movies are also on my list. I like the extra heavy heart pump they inspire. Even when I know the outcome, I can feel the blood pulse harder through my veins when I’m watching good, terror inducing entertainment

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Kip Sorell pleads with the audience to call the police, because he’s getting mugged in Demolition 20

So it’s a short hop to thinking about the element of terror in homoerotic wrestling entertainment. Just like in a good horror flick, terror is a delicate ingredient. You can’t throw in too much, too soon, or the escalating adrenaline drops from habituation. On the other hand, too infrequent, too improbable (hello, Paranormal franchise, I’m looking at you) and the heat doesn’t have time to reach a boil. And under or over sold, and the whole suspension of disbelief comes crashing down in a heap.

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Muscle Match goes dark with open, vicious, bare handed strangulation

But in homoerotic wrestling, when done right, it’s incredible value added for my tastes. When a brave, cocky, impenetrable stud throws himself into the fray, gets outmatched, gets convinced that he could very well get broken, broken into, or crippled for life, the unfolding drama is sensationally arousing to me. He’s got to believe he’s going to make a respectable showing to start with. And then, incrementally, he’s got to be dragged to the despairing, horrifying truth that he’s getting owned, and his opponent is just nasty enough to seriously jeopardize life and limb. And then, that juicy, potent psychodrama has to play out on his face, in his eyes, in the rising octaves of his screams and choking sobs.

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Austin Cooper is terrified by what’s Bobby Horton is about to do to him from behind in his Wrestler Spotlight 3

When done right, I get that same adrenaline pump I do when I’m watching fine horror. That, paired with hot, hard bodies and the inherent eroticism of grinding, crushing, dominating wrestling, and I’ll swing for the fences every time.

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Riddle Man (aka, Charlie Evans) monologues like a supervillain about what he wants to do with SuperStud (aka, Damien Rush) and his marvelous ass in Super Men 4.4.

Interestingly (for me, at least), I occasionally stumble across this ethical dilemma in seeking out terror-rich homoerotic wrestling fare, when I come across the implicit threat of rape. On the one hand, rape is not sexy. In real life, it’s vile and destroys lives. I don’t enjoy it, and don’t get aroused by it in gay porn. Frankly, it creeps me out. On the other hand, in addition to being terrorized by threats to life and limb, homoerotic wrestling terror at least occasionally drifts into the psychodrama of sexual violence. Threats that revolve around “what I’m going to do to you when I’ve beaten you to a pulp,” start down that path. Hell, every so often there’s the pretty explicit dialogue about how a victor will fuck his cowed conquest like the spoils of war. And, all that I just said on the first hand notwithstanding, I fucking get off on that.

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Trent Diesel sizes up the ass he just bought and paid for in his Naked Kombat bout with Gavin Waters

Of course Naked Kombat pretty much is all about sexual domination as the spoils of erotic wrestling. But there’s an implicit contract in the fighter’s opening introductions. They’re signing up for this. They know the stakes are win or be fucked, so it’s more like high stakes gambling than actual rape. The loser my not enjoy it, but the bitterness and brutality are mostly about the humiliation of the loss, not about being involuntarily fucked. And the more recent post-match testimonials almost always make explicit that the everyone involved had a grand old time.

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Rusty Stevens and David Taylor made me forget they were being held at gunpoint in Wrestle Bait.

Can-Am has come pretty close to explicitly centering a narrative on wrestling as pretense for sexual assault. Their Wrestle Bait release made me check my political correctness credentials a few times, for example. The plot, as I remember, is that a sadistic jail guard (Jobe Zander) gets his psychojollies off on forcing inmates to wrestle for fuckstakes and freedom. Jobe literally holds a gun to their heads and coerces them to strip, beat the shit out of each other, and then have the winner force fuck the loser. If they don’t fight hard enough, he threatens to shoot them. So, guns turn me off. The threat of watching someone get shot turns me way off. The implication that the losers in each Wrestle Bait match are getting fucked against their will tugs at my conscience. But despite myself, even as I question my moral compass, I’ve pounded out dozens of times to that shit. In my defense, it was the first time I ever saw Rusty Stevens or David Taylor.

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Logan Vaughn’s terror is evident once Lane Hartley plants him spread eagled in the ropes and gets into position to place kick his balls for a field goal in Hunkbash 15

But I don’t have to have boundaries crossed for the terror ingredient to spice up my favorite homoerotic wrestling fare. It’s the terror itself, rather than any questionable-consensual sex act, that’s the common thread. So when it dawns on one gasping hunk that he’s got no shot of winning, and in fact has a very good shot at spending a few nights in the hospital, and that recognition visibly washes across his face… fuck.  When a sniveling pretty boy literally tries to flee the scene, crawling on his hands and knees in a primal effort to distance himself from his natural predator, I’m so sold. When he chokes and quivers on the fear, when he weeps and begs, abandoning all pretense to dignity, when he out and out screams because he’s certain he’s about to break for real, that will top me off every time.

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Carter Alexander sells terror like a motherfucker in Great Outdoors 2, though I think he’s mostly just terrified Kid Karisma will stop pulling his hair (he likes that).

So today, I salute the homoerotic wrestling scream queens who toy with my moral compass and somehow shove their hands right down my pants by selling out and out terror as a device for propelling a wrestling match to a screaming, pleading, magnificent conclusion.

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Reigning scream queen, bar none, Drake “don’t call me jobber” Marcos realizes the Trophy Boy may very well castrate him in Three-Way Thrash 4.

Keep me cumming, boys.

That’s What Ripped Gets You

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You can’t handle this much ginger

Clearly, this is the dawning of the Age of the Ginger.  A full one third of the wrestlers in BG East’s 114.3 were red-headed and/or Blaine Janus. I’ve lauded Charlie and Blaine and Steven Ponce, so it’s about time I dropped some fan appreciation on this blog’s current reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler and devastatingly sexy ginger muscle man, Kid Karisma.

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“You look cute!”

In the first match of Great Outdoors 2, Kid K steps into the BG East gazebo to find tall, dark, and devastatingly handsome Carter Alexander stretching out.”Who in the hell did they bring me today?” Kid K asks, apparently unfamiliar with Carter’s previous appearance, also in the gazebo, against Kid K’s favorite sexy monkey boy, Jake Jenkins.  “You look cute!” Kid K acknowledges, giving Carter’s handsome face a smiling appraisal.  The rest of Carter, however, Kid K finds lacking in comparison to the karismatic one’s estimation of his own sensational physique.

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“I never give!” claims Carter Alexander

Carter Alexander is a tough mother fucker. Like Kid K, I find him remarkably pretty. I want to pinch his cheeks and spank his ass, he’s got such boyish charm attached to that rocking hard muscle bod. He’s particularly proud of his ripped fitness, and when Kid K swarms all over his ass to start the action, he’s buttoned up almost instantly and at the mercy (yeah, good luck with that, buddy) of Kid Karisma. “Say you give!” Kid K demands, screwing down his bread and butter body scissors and making Carter’s summer tan flush dark, angry red. The young stud screams. He whimpers. He fucking weeps like a bitch, crying, “No more, no more!” But when pressed to submit, the oh so pretty slice of beefcake grunts, “I never give!”

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Carter exploits Kid Karisma’s cockiness

You know I adore… nay, worship Kid Karisma. So understand that extremely humble place from which this next comment comes from when I say that, as is so often the case, Kid Karisma gets too cocky. On the one hand, I suspect Kid K would say there is no such thing when it comes to his sensational physique and wrestling domination. On the other hand, as is so often the case when Kid K is riding rough shod on an outmatched opponent (as in, nearly every single one), he starts to preen. He winks at the camera. He flexes and struts and starts paying more attention to camera angles and the best lighting to show of his muscles than he does to the coiled mass of ripped muscle beneath him. And suddenly, Carter uses those luscious, long legs to hook Kid K mid double bicep pose and pry him backward, squeezing on scissors and pounding those world class abs.

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That’s ripped, baby!”

Carter likes being on top. He starts laughing louder the more Kid K groans. He sticks out his tongue and flexes his mouthwatering, aesthetically perfect biceps. “See that!?” he demands of the whimpering muscle veteran. “That’s ripped, baby!”

“Come on, man, you’re hurting me!”

Carter has about 18 times as much personality in this match as he did in his debut, and I have to think it’s further evidence that Kid K brings/rings out the very best in an opponent. And perhaps, this is exactly some of the fantastic formula that goes into Kid K’s match strategy, overextending, allowing himself to get upended here and there in order to pull out of his opponents something new. Or, in Carter’s case, letting the sultry, sexy stud have as much rope as he wants to hang himself with. And as much as Carter lip lickingly relishes being on top, he’s a sniveling, crying, simpering BITCH as catcher. When Kid K inevitably muscles his way back into contention, Carter withers under a barrage of pounding shots to his lush pecs and abs. “Come on, man!” Carter complains, pleadingly, “you’re hurting me!” There’s this tone in his voice to suggest that this surprises him, that somehow Kid K is doing something untoward. “Come on, I didn’t do nothing to you!” he keeps bitching as he’s stretched out seductively in a full nelson and body scissors. “Come on, can’t we work this out?” he begs. Kid K laughs at the whimpering stud. “I’ll let you buy me a drink later,” the infamous party boy replies. “I’ll buy you two drinks!” Carter ups the bid, pleading for his tormentor to take the bribe. “Come on, I didn’t ask for this, man!” Carter cries like a total spineless bully-turned-bitch. “Well, you’re gettin’ it!” Kid K laughs.

“I… I like it when you…pull on my hair.”

The wrestling is intense and convincing, so Carter’s rapid fire reversals from taunting bully to simpering victim are compelling drama. They speak to some deep seated character flaw to accompany Carter’s physical perfection. He doesn’t know who he is on his own. He relies on others to shape him. He needs to be either conquered or conquerer to get a reading on his own inner compass. It makes me sort of wonder what the fuck he’s thinking stepping into the world of BG East and agreeing to face down one of the baddest muscle heels in operation today. But when Kid K starts yanking on Carter’s hair domineeringly, prying his head backward as he crushes the stud’s throat with his gargantuan right bicep, Carter gasps, confessing, “I… I like it when you… pull on my hair.” And then, somehow, the two-sided coin of Carter’s bully/bitch reversals make sense. His defiant opening promise that he never, ever gives up, falls into place like the tumblers of a lock being pried open. He taunts and pushes his luck and showboats because he’s the one determined to bring out the best (read: baddest) in his infamously cruel opponent. Here, I thought he was getting force fed his Wheaties all this time, when it turns out, he likes it. Hey, Carter! He likes it!

Kid Karisma gets a mouthful of Carter Alexander

Probably the sexiest singular moment in this match is when the tide has turned back to the kid who likes his hair pulled. Kid K has been parading this simpering beefcake around the gazebo in a magnificent inverted bearhug. If only these two were totally naked, they’d both be sucking cock (my mouth. God’s ears.). Suddenly, Carter reaches out and grabs the gazebo railing, sliding upward and backward so he can lock his ankles together and squeeze a wad-blowing suspended headscissors. Kid K’s face is absolutely smothered so high up Carter’s ass that you can barely hear his muffled groans of shock and pain. Suddenly, Carter flings himself away from the railing and twists his body, and holy shit, uses all that momentum to flip Kid K off his feet and land, slamming down to the mat. Holy shit.  I repeat, holy shit. That was a variation on flying headscissors from a total rookie!

“Yeah! Give that ass a pounding!”

But the real money shot in this sequence comes when Carter sits that lovely, mouthwatering muscle ass of his on Kid K’s chin and folds the Kid up, hooking those gargantuan rugby thighs under his armpits. Kid K is stuck like a bug underneath 188 pounds of “ripped muscle, baby!” Carter flexes his massive guns, laughing, crowing. And then he plays Kid K’s multi-award winning ass cheeks like bongo drums.  Repeatedly.  Rolling his head back in laughter and slapping down a rhythm you can dance to. And if that doesn’t make you blow your wad, he suddenly starts punching those very same multi-award winning ass cheeks, brutally jabbing away, grinding his knuckles deep into the muscle tissue. “You like that, huh?” Carter asks the buttoned up muscle hunk beneath him. “Yeah, give that ass a pounding!” he laughs, coming perhaps as close as any opponent has come to fulfilling the fan fantasies that keep Karisma’s tasty glutes ranked number one, year after year.  Kid is fucking impotent right now. He’s getting used and humiliated. Carter pumps out another stunning, vascular, all-over-tanned double bicep and explains, “That’s what ripped gets you!”

Carter’s lips say, “No more, please!!!”

If you’re a little worried at this point that Carter may have overplayed his hand, that taunting and humiliating one of the most notorious heels in the stable is digging his own grave a little too deep, you’d be right. Holy shit (I say again), when Kid K comes roaring back into contention, he is pissed. He’s still trash talking and cracking jokes like he always does, of course. But he’s fucking bitter now. He starts using and abusing this masochistic pretty boy with total abandon. Punches, knee lifts, massively muscled rugby leg drops tenderize Carter’s abs and pecs until he’s screaming like that horrified, helpless bitch he is once again. “No more, please,” he begs (mind you, not submitting, just begging like a bitch). Kid K has had enough of believing the beefcake stud is truly contrite, only to get smacked around again. So the karismatic one just keeps clawing at those muscle fibers. He spanks that sensational purple ass in retribution. He owns every inch of the 6’1″ centerfold, and just keeps coming again and again.

Kid K rips this sniveling bitch pretty boy apart muscle by muscle

Carter is beaten (up) totally  and there’s still about 5 minutes left to go. Kid K repeatedly keeps dragging the hunk up by a fistful of hair. We have to think it’s because Kid K is determined to serve up exactly what Carter has said he wants. So Carter whimpers like a fucking baby as Kid K yet again pries his head off the mat by a hair handle, dragging his beaten-bright-red body up only to get pounded down again and again. Carter keeps screaming, keeps crying. Whereas he started the match promising that he “never gives,” he can’t fucking shut up and stop giving now. I lose count, but I’m sure Carter actually submits somewhere around 2 dozen times, interspersed between begging and pleading and crying and groveling and bargaining. A less experienced opponent might think the high pitched panic in Carter’s voice is a signal to lighten up a bit, but Kid K has got the read on this hot pretty boy. So he tightens the screw tighter, over and over.

“You’re going to break me!”

The most visually stunning moment is probably when Kid K drags Carter (of course, by his hair) up to his feet and slams his back into one of the gazebo columns. Like Tarzan, Kid K leaps up to the top of the railing, hangs on the outside of the gazebo, and scissors Carter’s torso into the column while choking him against the upright. Carter snivels and weeps more. “You’re going to break me!!!” Carter gasps at one point, merely inspiring Kid K to keep doing exactly what he’s doing.

Ride ’em, cowboy!

Having watched Carter Alexander’s first match, I had no idea to expect this much personality. He’s complex and compelling. There’s that initial mystery about what could possibly inspire him to keep going as he’s whimpering and groveling and pleading like a whiny bitch (without submitting), that comes into focus when he let’s slip in a moment of ecstasy that he likes it when Kid K pulls his hair. Kid K cottons on just like the rest of us do. Carter likes more than just getting his hair pulled. Those screams, those tears, that choking and gasping and wailing and begging for reprieve at the hands of a heartless, unhearing, uncaring expert tormentor like Kid Karisma are what Carter Alexander lives for.

Assume the position

I think someone should start a GoFundMe page to offer Carter’s next heel opponent a bounty for ripping the trunks off of this sniveling beefcake, because… fuck! That ass! A pretty boy with that mouthwatering of an ass who lives for picking a fight that he’s guaranteed to lose is going to be giving that ass up sooner or later, and I, for one, would put up cash to make sure that gets caught on tape.

“That’s what ripped gets you!”

Outstanding work to both of these incredibly gorgeous, sexy studs. I’m left breathlessly hoping to see where this deathwish takes Carter next. And I still say the rest of you gingers better clench up, because if there’s another Ginger Off anytime soon, Kid Karisma is going to rip you apart!

No, THAT’S what ripped gets you!

And the nominees are…

The link the the Best of BG East voting disappeared from the BG East homepage, but I swear I saw that you had until Sunday at midnight to cast your ballots.  Hopefully, if you’re still undecided, you still have time.  And hopefully I can offer this voter’s guide and my personal take on the field in a few more categories.  Let’s start today taking a look at the hotly contested and highly controversial Best Body nominees. What makes for “Best Body” has got to be even more subjective than what we evaluate as best body part by body part. Me, I like all sorts of bodies, but when I think “best” I think superior fitness, muscle mass, proportion, symmetry, balance, and that most subjective of them all, beauty.  Here are the contenders for Best Body at BG East in 2014.

kkbody
I’ve been explicitly campaigning for months for Kid Karisma to take the title this year, because, fuck, look! All those qualifiers I mention above as my personal criteria are summed up right here in my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler. He’s also making a play for a Best Butt 3-peat, and I’m slightly aghast that he didn’t get a nomination for Best Abs.
Chacebody
For those who like them brawnier, burlier, hairier and with tweezed eyebrows, Chace LaChance is certain to make a strong showing. Interestingly he’s not a nominee for best butt, bulge or abs, but as a total package, he got the nod to join the field.
zmanbody
Also Best Abs nominee Z-Man took the Best Body title last year, after going down to Rio Garza in 2012. I’ll say it again, Z-Man must have an aging portrait of himself in the attic somewhere, because he’s perpetually gorgeous and in top shape.
Calbody
Cal Bennett’s insurgency into the Best Abs and Best Body categories this year is ballsy and stunnning. He’s appeared in exactly 1 product thus far at BG East, but that was enough to get his liberally inked, stunning physique a nod for Best Bod. See my comments from a couple days ago about his body, honey, and my tongue.
coopbody
Goldenboy Austin Cooper (or Dr. Cooper, depending on the day) is dazzlingly beautiful, proportioned, balanced. That pretty face could possibly distract even his die hard fans from fully appreciating the top contender quality of that body. But probably not.

I haven’t been coy about saying for months Kid Karisma’s phenomenal fitness and picture perfect physique deserve the title of Best Body this year. The total package from top to bottom, front to back, in my opinion. I expect Z-Man to be making the strongest play to be at the head of this pack, possibly with Coop making a dark horse late run. If Cal pulls this out, I’m calling it a major upset and a huge bullseye painted on his finely muscled ass if he ever dares to step foot in the ring with any of his more seasoned and tested contenders.

Now let’s look at some of the match Besties. Selecting a photo to highlight a nominee’s claim to take the title for best-of-match categories is daunting.  What single still frame captures a claim to make an entire match sexiest, or best on the mats? With humility, I’ve attempted to present some of what I think are the best claims for the following two categories, starting with Sexiest Match of 2014.

rookssexy
Cumming out of the gate hot and hard are Kayden Keller and Ty Alexander in their tandem debut in Raunchy Rookies 7. I think it says something significant to have a double debut be featured in the sexiest match contenders. RR7 burned it up, and win, lose or draw, I have to believe there are many more Bestie nominations heading both Kayden and Ty’s way.
drakesexy
I admit to being slightly surprised to see X-Fights 38’s Drake Marcos v LJL and not see Drake and Ty’s Babyface Brawl X in this category. Nevertheless, Drake and LJL were two of the sexiest X-fighters at BGE this year, and their 38 fight was fucking mean and nasty. They hated each other start to finish, which makes it just that much sexier to see how prominently sexual domination became the story.
militarysexy
Military Muscle 2 is another surprise entry here, as far as I’m concerned. Not because I didn’t think it was scorchingly sexy, but because it was far less sexually explicit than other matches that weren’t nominated. That said, MM2 demonstrates that a match doesn’t need to include cock-sucking in order to be blindingly sexy, and rookie Zion Brown’s gasping adoration of Kid Karisma is convincing and compelling.
painsexy
Pasion & Punishment 1 was the first time I sat up and took notice of Trey Dixon. His pairing here with Skrapper is nothing short of epic. Their confrontation is spilling over with raw, balls to the walls lust from the start, and the sexual tension makes my hard drive melt (seriously, I had to buy a new computer). I had to go back and verify that these two didn’t actually fuck on camera, because the sexual aggression is so damn explicit.
darksexy
Dark Knights 11 with Steven Ponce and Ray Dalton is clearly the choice for muscle fetish leather daddies and their stubborn boys. I’m regretting that Dark Knights 12 wasn’t the DK entry in this category, but it’s not hard to see why nominators gave Ray and Steven the nod here.

This category is a major struggle for me to settle on. My blogger v wrestler match with Drake was not nominated, and of course, other than my personal photographs of Drake’s post-match humiliation, you would be hard pressed to be able to make an informed vote our direction (though, take my word for it, it was sexy).  So just looking at those that were nominated, personally, I’m completely torn between Raunchy Rookies 7, X-Fights 38, and Passion & Punishment 1. I know that there are wrestling fans out there that don’t like Skrapper, so I’m guessing Passion & Punishment may be a long shot, but at the end of the day, that’s where my vote goes. I’m also guessing it will be either Raunchy Rookies or X-Fights 38 that may be where the majority goes this time, which I will totally understand. Dark horse in this field I think is Dark Knights 11. I didn’t see a ton of buzz about it, but if the muscle fetish leather daddies snap the collars on all their boys, they’ll double their vote quickly and, potentially swing this their way.

Finally for today I’m taking a look at the Best Mat Battle nominees. This is another extremely tough slate to choose from, but you don’t pay me to dither.  Wait, you don’t pay me at all!  Oh well, onward and upward…

cammat
Submissions 9 with Cameron Matthews grappling with LJL has got to be a front runner in this category. Cam and LJL are major league mat tacticians, and that and about 2 gallons of sweat and some smoldering bitterness make Sub 9 insanely aggressive and the stuff that no one other than a contortionist should try.
drakemat
Passion & Punishment’s match with Drake Marcos and Mason Brooks makes a compelling argument. Two big egos enter the mat room, but one of them crawls on his belly out of the mat room having been actually tagged with a permanent marker to remind him what a consummate jobber he is. As much as I love watching Drake suffer, even I was worried at times in this match that the philosopher king Mason was going to literally break him… which makes a strong case for Best Mat Battle.
masonmat
But then the drama ensues in the Academy, as Mason is going up against himself in this category, also getting the nod for his work against Skrapper in Undagear 22. These are two of the fiercest mat boys on the books right now, and neither of them is going to concede to losing while conscious. Then again, there’s that anti-Skrapper faction out there.
damienmat
I was only slightly shocked to see Damien Rush and Joah Bindao’s Undagear 21 bout appear in this category. Shocked because I don’t think of it as cream of the crop mat work, but only slightly because Damien Rush getting schooled by a petite muscleman acrobat is always going to get attention. I loved the back and forth in this match. Lots of suspense and bruised egos.
kidmat
But if you’re jonesin’ for bruised egos, I’m guessing your choice very well may be Undagear 22’s match between Ray Naylor and Kid Karisma. Ray fucking HATES Kid K, and you get the impression he hates himself just a little for being unable to resist stroking Kid K’s luscious muscles (see my arguments for his Best Body claim). These two put the hurt on each other big time, and you know it was a special match when Kid K treats the loser to a free strip show after all is said and done.
jakemat
As long as Jake Jenkins is wrestling, I predict he will have at least one nomination in the Best Mat Battle category. He’s typically the master of the mats, but he bites off more than he can chew in Gazebo Grapplers 16, facing down big, beautiful newbie Carter Alexander. The outcome of this match is in question to the bitter end, and that end has got to be described as a stunning upset, so little wonder this shows up as a Best Mat Battle nominee.

Fuck, this is another hard choice.  My vote, for what it’s worth, is going to Passion & Punishment’s Drake Marcos versus Mason Brooks. It was that match, and the 3-way interview I conducted with Mason and Drake that ultimately got the whole ball rolling to eventually find myself shutting Drake up with his trunks stuffed down his throat this past Fall. It’s also sweet drama, and watching Mason pick Drake apart, humiliate him worse and worse, strip him naked and leave his indelible mark clearly ignited a ton of fantasy’s-cum-true in me. I’m thinking the favorites in this category may be Cameron and LJL, though, possibly with Ray and Kid K being the dark horse here able deliver an upset.

If you haven’t finished your ballot yet, here’s what the Bard-approved slate of choices looks like:

Best Abs: Lon Dumont

Best Bulge: Pete Sharp

Best Butt: Kid Karisma

Best Body: Kid Karisma

Sexiest Match: Passion &  Punishment 1 – Trey Dixon v Skrapper

Best Mat Battle: Passion & Punishment 1 – Drake Marcos gets owned by Mason Brooks

Making Jake

I had a moment of OCD wash over me when I noticed recently that I only made it about 2/3rds of the way through the alphabet in my homage to the remarkable range of one of my perennial favorite homoerotic wrestlers, Jake Jenkins.  So today I plug away at completing the course in the relatively easy section of the alphabet.  Making Jake…

 

jakepose
P is for pose, which Jake saves for side-by-sides with golden boy buddy Austin Cooper.

… pose.  Lot’s of wrestlers are provoked to pose by a sneering, flexing opponent, but not so much Jake.  Jake tends to really pose only when his good buddy Austin Cooper teams up with him for a babyface tag team battle, like they did in Tag Team Torture 15.  Jake’s body is a work of art crafted out of just plain hard work, so its understandable that the devastatingly handsome hunk would prefer to save his strength for applying those muscles to the work of pummeling an opponent.  But thanks to camaraderie and showmanship, it’s a pleasure to see Austin make Jake pose.

jakequit
Q is for “quit,” the very word cocky Austin Cooper leans in close to listen for as he nearly rips Jake’s head off.

 

…quit.  Then again, it always hasn’t been a blushing bromance between golden boy Austin Cooper and Jake.  When they first arrived at BG East, shit hit the fan when egos and mouthwatering muscles were bruised between these two ripped rookies.  Across his career, Jake has taken more than he’s given when it comes to submissions.  Most of the time, it requires sleeping the stud out cold to decisively score a victory over JJ.  But in Ripped Rookies, with sweat pouring off of both of their barely clad bodies, Austin makes Jake quit.

jakerest
R is for recline, rest and relax, which Jake luxuriously indulges in just to demonstrate his complete mastery over cocky punks.

 

… relax.  It’s not uncommon for Jake to showboat, particularly when an opponent has tried to intimidate him, and particularly at Rock Hard Wrestling.  But there’s something extremely provocative about those moments when Jake is so totally in charge, seeming to make the art of torture look effortless.  It requires an opponent with a loud mouth writing checks his muscles cannot cash, such as when pumped Matt Engel pokes and pokes until Jake cannot resist almost snapping him off at the knee while leaning back on one elbow and looking like it ain’t nothing but a thing.  It’s a lesson in the eroticism of humiliation and domination when some cocky punk makes Jake relax.

jakescream
S is for scream, which Jake does so rarely that it’s like panning for gold.

… scream.  Jake typically runs a body temperature around 92.4 degrees (F), because his veins are filled with ice water.  Incredibly cool, even keeled, and in control, it’s a rare moment to see him not only submit, not only be manhandled, but to actually break out in desperate screams.  The contrast between his seemingly unshakeable calm and self-control and these punctuation marks of panic are deeply moving.  Watching shocking rookie Carter Alexander take Jake to the edge in Gazebo Grapplers 16 is pure gold, as the overpowering rookie makes Jake scream.

jaketaut
T is for taut, which is what Jake’s body becomes under only the most masterful hands of someone completely disregarding the normal limits of human physiology.

…taut.  If there’s one thing Jake fanatics know, it’s that this stud is a true athlete.  That phenomenal physique has been hammered into perfection by a passion for sport, first and foremost among them, wrestling.  So in addition to stunning strength, speed and stamina, this gorgeous stud is one of the most flexible wrestlers in the business.  As a result, the tolerances that his body can withstand are breathtaking.  It requires an extremely firm hand and a lust for pushing the edge for an opponent to wrench Jake’s hot bod to the breaking point.  Happily, Kid Karisma is just such a stud, and in Hunkbash 12: No Fear, No Limits, No Mercy, he exquisitely makes Jake’s incredible body taut.

The rest of the alphabet is a little more challenging, so send me your suggestions on U through Z to round out the phenomenal range of Jake Jenkins!