Two-On-One Tuesday

To keep things shiny, I’m trying out a new hashtag: #TwoOnOneTuesday. No one loves a little alliteration as much as I do. Well, I know of one particular homoerotic wrestling producer who does, but other than that, I suspect alliteration tickles me more than you (which reminds me, I think there ought to be more tickling in homoerotic wrestling!). In any case, Two-On-One-Tuesdays may, or may not, end up being a thing. You can let me know what you think in the comments. But so far I like it. There’s something particularly sexy about seeing a couple of mates manhandling and mastering a muscleman, making him moan and milking his misery.

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Possibly the first 2-on-1 match that I got off on was the Tag Team Torture 2 match where Jeff Phoenix’ partner was a no show. There was no mention of who the son of a bitch was who abandoned this bulging, blue eyed, blond beefcake to face notorious heels Jose and Cruz alone.  Wouldn’t that have been a sensational grudge match sequel, when Jeff beat the living fuck out of the traitor!? Jeff held his own for a while against this 2-on-1, just long enough to make the coverboy cocky, which turns Jose and Cruz’ double team demolition that much sweeter.

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The bitter divorce of Jonny Firestorm and Calvin Haynes’ tag team led instantly to the sensationally sexy double-team of Calvinby Jonny and his rebound partner, pretty-pretty Royce Perry. I’ve nursed this fantasy pretty much every time I’ve had a rough break-up. Seriously, I always have this exact fantasy of meeting my ex in a wrestling ring, revealing the mouth-wateringly hot new model I traded up for, and the two of us beating him down, turning him on, and leaving him with blue balls.  Just me?

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Over at W4H, sexy go-go boy Christian Thorn apparently took so many brutally one-sided beatings that Cameron arranged for him to take some wrestling lessons from pro  hunks Ronny Pearl and Teddy Trouble. What could go wrong?  The classy pros put the pretty boy through his paces, but perhaps it’s too much of a good thing. Double-teamers take notes: 2-on-1 babyface jobber crushing can go wildly off the rails if you can’t get on the same page with your partner.

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It’s another pro vs. Instahunk story when Joey King takes advantage of his extensive experience to humble bodybuilder Steel in Rough & Ready 103. But Joey’s simmering feud with that other Instahunk, Scrappy, comes back to bite him in his lovely, round ass, when Scrapster joins the fray. So, sure, I can totally tune in to pretty muscleboy posers working up a head of steam on a bad ass pro.

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Regular readers will recognize this tendency I have to get totally infatuated with a particular wrestler who may, or may not, be objectively more notable than anyone else. And there we have Weekend Wrestling’s Pretty Boy Assassin. I don’t know exactly what it is that turns my crank quite as hard as he does, but I’m screaming to tag in with him when he’s getting double teamedby his official opponent, Brendan Byers, and WW’s boss man Cole Cassidy. Fuck, now I’ve got a fierce rescue fantasy churning away. Just one more way a two-on-one can turn me on!

Let me know what you think about #TwoOnOneTuesdays, and if they should stay on the menu.

Best Ink

I can respect gay wrestling fans that are turned off by tattoos. I can’t identify, but I can respect. I, on the other hand, often find them value added.  It’s not every example of skin art that I find sexy, but the right design, the right placement, the right body, and the right artist can exponentiate the allure of a homoerotic wrestler for me.  As for 2017, there were some ink classics and newbies classing up the ring with their artwork.  I’d prefer it if the perennial “tattoos suck” constituency would give it a rest for just this post, but do feel free to comment on what ink turns you on and why. As for me, here are my top 3 picks for the best wrestling ink I saw in 2017.

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In third place is a regular contender for this and many titles, Carter Alexander. In 2017, I think I only saw him wrestling for BG East, but he’s also wrestled in years past for MDW.  Carter is just fucking pretty, so there’s something copacetic about the design of his stylish artwork. The tat down the left side of his torso is particularly choice for me. It sort of demands that he lift his arm behind his head and flex his obliques, which circles me back around to just how fucking pretty he is.

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In second place for best ink in wrestling this year is W4H’s Christian Thorn. Like Carter, Christian is dazzlingly pretty, and his ink accentuates this obvious fact. The extensive coverage works for me because his body is so incredibly built, that it’s such a pleasure to explore and discover new art as he moves. The rib cage ink accentuates his wide lat spread, and the peak-a-boo lower abdominal tat screams sex. But it’s the design of his upper right arm, shoulder, and pec that I find absolutely stunning. That artwork is made for glistening with sweat and crushing some lucky opponent’s face in a cranking side headlock for art appreciation class.

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My pick for the very best ink in wrestling in 2017 easily goes to Zip Zarella. I’ve got such a massive crush on this indy pro hunk who debuted as a BGE newbie in 2017. His extensive pec tats are balanced, beautiful, and unapologetically in your face, which is precisely the way that Zip wrestles. He’s on the card for BG East’s live show at Wilton Manners on February 22, and I’m sending prayers 7 times a day to the homoerotic wrestling gods that Elite Eliot gets his lips on Zips nips. In the mean time, Zip can do no wrong in my book, and his gorgeous body and magnificent ring skills are perfectly paired with his gorgeous artwork.

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Zip appreciates being appreciated
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The ink is just part of the total package
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Artwork hanging from the ring ropes
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Looking this good, Zip can’t help but smile.

It’s a tough category for me to sort through, because I’m such an art lover. So here are some honorable mentions that nearly made the cut: Calvin Haynes (BGE), Ace Aarons (BGE), Eagle (Thunder’s Arena), and Joey Justice (MDW, aka Joey Nux at W4H).