Two-On-One Tuesday

To keep things shiny, I’m trying out a new hashtag: #TwoOnOneTuesday. No one loves a little alliteration as much as I do. Well, I know of one particular homoerotic wrestling producer who does, but other than that, I suspect alliteration tickles me more than you (which reminds me, I think there ought to be more tickling in homoerotic wrestling!). In any case, Two-On-One-Tuesdays may, or may not, end up being a thing. You can let me know what you think in the comments. But so far I like it. There’s something particularly sexy about seeing a couple of mates manhandling and mastering a muscleman, making him moan and milking his misery.

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Possibly the first 2-on-1 match that I got off on was the Tag Team Torture 2 match where Jeff Phoenix’ partner was a no show. There was no mention of who the son of a bitch was who abandoned this bulging, blue eyed, blond beefcake to face notorious heels Jose and Cruz alone.  Wouldn’t that have been a sensational grudge match sequel, when Jeff beat the living fuck out of the traitor!? Jeff held his own for a while against this 2-on-1, just long enough to make the coverboy cocky, which turns Jose and Cruz’ double team demolition that much sweeter.

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The bitter divorce of Jonny Firestorm and Calvin Haynes’ tag team led instantly to the sensationally sexy double-team of Calvinby Jonny and his rebound partner, pretty-pretty Royce Perry. I’ve nursed this fantasy pretty much every time I’ve had a rough break-up. Seriously, I always have this exact fantasy of meeting my ex in a wrestling ring, revealing the mouth-wateringly hot new model I traded up for, and the two of us beating him down, turning him on, and leaving him with blue balls.  Just me?

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Over at W4H, sexy go-go boy Christian Thorn apparently took so many brutally one-sided beatings that Cameron arranged for him to take some wrestling lessons from pro  hunks Ronny Pearl and Teddy Trouble. What could go wrong?  The classy pros put the pretty boy through his paces, but perhaps it’s too much of a good thing. Double-teamers take notes: 2-on-1 babyface jobber crushing can go wildly off the rails if you can’t get on the same page with your partner.

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It’s another pro vs. Instahunk story when Joey King takes advantage of his extensive experience to humble bodybuilder Steel in Rough & Ready 103. But Joey’s simmering feud with that other Instahunk, Scrappy, comes back to bite him in his lovely, round ass, when Scrapster joins the fray. So, sure, I can totally tune in to pretty muscleboy posers working up a head of steam on a bad ass pro.

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Regular readers will recognize this tendency I have to get totally infatuated with a particular wrestler who may, or may not, be objectively more notable than anyone else. And there we have Weekend Wrestling’s Pretty Boy Assassin. I don’t know exactly what it is that turns my crank quite as hard as he does, but I’m screaming to tag in with him when he’s getting double teamedby his official opponent, Brendan Byers, and WW’s boss man Cole Cassidy. Fuck, now I’ve got a fierce rescue fantasy churning away. Just one more way a two-on-one can turn me on!

Let me know what you think about #TwoOnOneTuesdays, and if they should stay on the menu.

6 thoughts on “Two-On-One Tuesday

  1. Nothing Hotter than when two Heels taking their time destroying a hot hapless Jobber….I find that Heels deef off each other and become even MORE cruel when working together to keep some poor kid in agony….
    Oh, and the creativity of the holds and abuse doled out ALWAYS impressed me. (I say this having been on the receiiving end many time…..
    Scott Williams

    1. Holy fuck, Scott. Every single anecdote you share gets me off. One of these days, I’m going to repay you for all of this pleasure by treating you exactly how you want to be treated, which so far sounds like screaming in my headscissors and getting double-teamed by my future partner (TBD).

  2. Great choices, but I think I even love better when a heel outclasses and destoys two jobbers at same time. Cruise vs Christian and Skip. Damien vs Drake and Ty. Donnie vs Chace and Brett. OMG.

    1. One on Two ‘One’desday? My favourite variation that’s kind of a mix of both of these is when the heel is utterly outclassed at first, until he’s finally pushed to his limit and enacts painful vengeance, like with Barry Burke vs Austin Cooper and Zman

  3. Well it is your blog, so obviously you can write about whatever you want. But, personally, two men beating up one man has ZERO appeal to me. I am completely uninterested.
    HOWEVER,
    the reverse is my absolute favorite kind of fight. One man beating up two men. That turns me on like nothing else. I love seeing a powerful stud demonstrate that he is the true alpha.
    I do hope that if you do this Two-On-One-Tuesdays, that some of those columns will be devoted to this version of the scenario.

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