Charming as Fuck

Last month’s release of Ring Rookies 5 marked the sophomore appearance of Chase Addams at BG East. He made a big impression on me in his debut last summer as a newbie featured in an unprecedented two matches on one DVD in Tag Team Torture 19. When I got the chance to interview him and his already-former tag team partner, Ty Alexander, I could easily see why Chase has already earned the defining adjective of “charming.” Frankly, I’ve been jonesin’ to see Charming Chase climb into the ring again, and was delighted as fuck to finally get my wish granted in his fantastic match against another hot rookie charmer, Charlie Evans. Having formally reviewed the match earlier, I was further thrilled to get Charming Chase on the line for another interview, breaking down his most recent ring performance and speculating on all things homoerotic wrestling.


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Charming Chase Addams

Bard: Chase Addams, welcome back to my interview chair! What have you been up to since we spoke last summer?

Chase: Thanks Bard, I haven’t been up to too terribly much. I’ve moved from the country to the city recently, more people who wrestle and hone my craft with.

Bard: Congratulations on the move. Lucky urbanites who now have the opportunity to get into your wrestling schedule! I also remember a sensationally intense promo you posted on Facebook around the New Year. As I remember, that video caught a whole lot attention, including from The Boss himself.

Chase: Ah, yes, the reaction video. It was less a promo and more so a stream of consciousness. I was just giving my honest feedback on how I felt the results from the “end of year” voting came out. I may or may not have called out some people and thrown some others under the bus.

Bard: Congratulations on the huge success that your Tag Team Torture 19 did in the polls. Best Ring Match and Best Overall Match for your first on camera appearances at BG East is an epic achievement. As I recall, from your video reaction, you weren’t quite satisfied, though. You took issue with Beauxregard edging you out for Best Debut, and even called out Jonny Firestorm for coasting to the Top Heel award.

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Beauxregard – Debut of the Year 2016

Chase: What can I say? Fans certainly have their tastes, Beaux and I definitely appeal to two very different customers. I’m the young, thin, crafty grappler, and he is the big muscle daddy. BG does its best to please everyone. As a mutual friend pointed out, Beaux is willing to get naked in every match. I’m not about that life personally. I won’t say it will never happen, but when it does, I want it to be especially memorable. Beaux is almost a reminder of someone like BBW, so while I’m not “okay” losing the vote to him, I can rationalize it. Jonny is a little different. Jonny is someone that I always looked up to and aspired to be like even before I stepped foot into a BG ring. He’s undoubtedly one of the top heels of the company, which is why I called him out. When you need to make a name for yourself, you call out the biggest dog in the yard and you put him down.

Bard: That sounds like a mature response to a disappointing loss in the polls. As for you wrestling naked, let me just be the first to say, “yes, please!” A little tease can definitely make the gift that much more enjoyable to unwrap. Just don’t tease us forever. Gay wrestling fans are notoriously fickle.

Chase: [laughing] Our community does have a thing for instant gratification. There is no patience anymore. Oh, fuck, no, we are completely intolerant of delayed gratification these days. Alas.

 

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Biggest dog in the yard Jonny Firestorm

Bard: I love that you’ve got your sights set on Jonny. And again, it sounds like you’ve made a mature, careful calculation that getting the respect you feel you deserve requires you to take on the best. Speaking of delays and prolonged teases, it seemed to me like there was a long delay between your debut DVD last summer and your follow-up appearance with BG East just a couple of weeks ago.

 

Chase: Yeah, how about that? Patience is a virtue, but even I was starting to get a little curious as to what was going on. I have learned that they try to group similar matches together for a DVD, such as tag team torture or backyard brawl. And to be fair, I have shown up with some “new” match ideas, and I can now see the problem with those being that there aren’t other like-matches to group them with onto a single DVD. Perhaps I can film a few more unique matches, and they can just put a compilation of them together and call it Chase’s Charm School.

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Taking Charlie to charm school

Bard: Damn, that’s… a fantastic idea! And I love that you’re already picturing yourself as the anchor of a franchise. I reviewed your Ring Rookies 5 match recently, and needless to say, I loved it. A lot. With just 3 matches in your catalog so far, already 2 of them are grudge matches. Is that first tag team loss going to haunt you forever, do you think?

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Christian Taylor’s “pretty little head”

Chase: I feel like “haunt” isn’t the best word to use. If I was being haunted by something, it would be terrorizing me. Personally I feel like those three who got in my way in the tag team match are the ones who should be hiding from me. Ty and Charlie have already fallen victim. If Christian knows what’s good for him, he will stay off my radar. That being said, I really hope he flies onto my radar.

Bard: It’s certainly true you’ve picked off both Ty and now Charlie in singles competition, and I’d pay money to see BGE’s resident kissing champ, Christian Taylor, face down your Will Breaker again. Fuck, I’d pay triple if that were to turn into your first full Monty match.

Chase: Who knows. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. Christian has to rear his pretty little head first. If he doesn’t, there are a few others I’ve been scoping out as possibilities.

Bard: Sweet homoerotic wrestling gods, I’m just picturing Christian, stripped naked, trussed up in your Will Breaker. Fuck, talk about a haunting image. I will use every Jedi mind trick at my disposal to get that match to happen. Your match against adorable Charlie Evans certainly turned brutal, now didn’t it?

Chase: What I wouldn’t do to get my hands all over Charlie Evans all over again.

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Chase gets his hands all over Charlie

Bard: I definitely noted that you seemed to enjoy your hands lingering on Charlie’s tight, taut little muscles. Am I correct that wrestling Charlie was turning you on?

Chase: I will let you decide for yourself.

Bard: Well, if it were up to me, that match would’ve been both your and Charlie’s full Monty debut. I’m a big fan of the fiery, earnest little Ginger Warrior for a lot of reasons. What is about Charlie that inspired you to stroke and squeeze and sample his flyweight body?

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Eyes on the prize

Chase: He’s just so innocent and pure… I want to corrupt him.

Bard: [laughing] Fuck, that’s hot. He does have a bit of Dudley Do-right about him, doesn’t he? I’ve been crushing on his tight ass for a long time, so I just have to ask what it was like digging your fingertips into those sweet, snowy white cheeks?

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The dance

Chase: Like I said, I’d do anything to get my hands back on him. I feel like I will someday. Charlie and I have debuted together, and I feel like we’re going to be doing this dance together for a long time to come.

Bard: I’m infatuated by your infatuation! As you know, I’ve been following this industry fanatically for a long time, and I think it’s about time we saw a premier young wrestler who is primarily motivated to climb back into the ring by pure lust. I love the bro-downs, the macho need to be top dog and all of that, but a sexy young stud who just wants to conquer an opponent in order to satisfy erotic desire is so needed in this business! We should be clear that Charlie was most definitely no pushover against you, though.

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Ginger tricks

Chase: Charlie caught me off guard for sure. Those same tricks won’t happen again. He had better learn new tricks or be waiting for me on a silver platter.

Bard: I think you and Charlie also have in common an honest appreciation for the science and art of pro wrestling. You both take a lot of pride in innovating and branding your signature moves. His Ginger Snap is one of the sexiest maneuvers I’ve seen in a long time. But he couldn’t pull that move off on you a second time.

Chase: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. He’s definitely going to think twice before attempting that again with me.

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Ginger Snap Interrupted

Bard: Your counter to his Ginger Snap was a sight to behold. For fans who haven’t seen it, just as Charlie went in for a handstand, locking his legs around your head to snap you head over heels to the mat, you actually grab him around the back and pull him up onto your chest, your face buried in his crotch. The lingering pause right at the moment is sooooo sexy. But I’m sure you’re right, he won’t soon forget you power slamming him to his back from 6 feet in the air.

Chase: I do like to leave a mark.

Bard: Fuck, his porcelain white skin is so marked up with hot, fire engine red marks by the end of that match. I loved getting another look at your Will Breaker. Actually, you tie Charlie up twice in that gravity defying hold. I count 3 times you’ve applied the Will Breaker on camera, and you’ve milked out a screaming submission every time. Do you think of that as your signature move?

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Will Breaker

Chase: It’s weird to think of the Will Breaker as the signature move, because I can’t apply it on everyone. I learned that lesson the hard way when I was first learning how to do the move. I got overly ambitious with a guy who was a little heavier than I was and ended up in the ER. Suspending someone’s entire body weight isn’t easy. It’s a challenge of strength and balance.

Bard: Damn, that sounds like a hard lesson to have learned. I’m glad you came out of it to wrestle another day. You certainly have a deeper arsenal of holds than most rookies I’ve seen. Do you improvise a lot, based on what you encounter in the midst of the match, or are you more of a planner, climbing in with a game plan and executing it?

Chase: I go into each match with a plan, but as you saw with Charlie, sometimes I lose myself in the moment and go purely off instinct. I wasn’t planning on holding Charlie by the neck against me as I ran my free hand across his sexy body, but it happened in the moment, and I couldn’t have asked for anything better.

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The art of improvisation

Bard: Well, that was inspired, as far as I’m concerned. I’ve gone on the record saying that I think pristine little Charlie could very well snap at some point at show us a truly momentous heel turn for the ages. You place-kicking him in the balls, nibbling on his ear, putting him out cold in a figure-4 choke have got to help that process along. What do you think of the idea of Charlie turning dark?

Chase: I’d love to be the one to help him find that inner darkness.

Bard: Would you ever team up again for a tag match, say with Dark Charlie, or did Tag Team Torture 19 spoil you for team efforts?

Chase: Well, I’ll never say never

Bard: So you’ve got your sights set on Jonny, you could poke the bear that is Beauxregard, and you fully expect to find Charlie in your orbit in the future. Who else do you think could end up being another stepping stone along your path to conquer BG East?

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#1 Jayden Mayne

Chase: Jayden Mayne will forever remain my number one most desired opponent. I have always been a huge fan of his work. There are others who I feel are in everyone’s sights like Kid Karisma (and for good reason). Two new people who I’ve seen that I really enjoyed was Cap Landon and Zip Zarella. Joey King is also one who would be fun. Outside of that there are some others who haven’t made a debut or even a recording yet, but I hear whispers of talks being done. I won’t divulge the rumor mill with any names since all I’ve heard are whisperings with no confirmations.

Bard: I’ll keep plying you with charm until I get your secrets out of you.

Chase: Hmm, out charming me? That’d be a first.

Bard: [laughing] I can always try. I love your short list of opponents to tackle. I’m a long-standing fan of Jayden, and I’m also a little instantly infatuated with Zip and Cap. I’ve seen some pretty fucking inspiring victory poses of you on your Facebook page, celebrating over the beaten bodies of some private opponents. Are your private matches an asset for your BG East work? Are you able to try out new holds, or do those tend to be less competitive?

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Keeping on top of the local competition

Chase: The St. Louis wrestling community isn’t nearly as large as the ones in a place like Boston, so we are really closely knit group. We try to meet every few weeks to at least practice holds to make sure we’re not getting rusty or to try out new things. It’s pretty great.

Bard: I like hearing that there’s a camaraderie there. That definitely sounds like an asset. Speaking of assets, I don’t know that I’ve talked since you were my personal pick for Best Nipples of 2016. I hope all the attention on our nips doesn’t end up making them a target for future opponents.

Chase: I don’t mind having a target on me. Comes with being the best.

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Chase a couple of days ago, in fighting shape

Bard: Well, in that case, consider me painting two targets right there across your hot chest! There’s definitely a whole different line of offense for wrestling in homoerotic circles when compared to mainstream pro. I know you’re a fanatical student of pro, but when it comes to underground gay, do you feel like you’re well-prepared for the nipple torture, ball bashing, cock stroking angles that some BG East matches hinge upon?

Chase: I’m more than ready.

Bard: Sensational! I’m looking forward to it. As both a wrestler and a fan, are there aspects of wrestling that you find a particular turn on? Particular holds? Body types? Character types?

Chase: I just love the psychological aspect. The hunter/prey thing peaks my “interest.”

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That moment a predator sinks his teeth into his prey

Bard: I hear you. The drama of the conquest sorts me right out. Some hot, cocky wrestler getting broken and owned is definitely “interesting” to me. Which I think is what grabs me so hard with your career thus far. Your last two matches are so motivated. You walk in with a point to make, and bit by bit, hold by hold, you make it. With a few matches now under your belt, what advice would you give to total newbies just about to sign up for their first BG East match?

Chase: [laughing] Stay out of my way or be bent into a pretzel.

Bard: That sounds like sage advice that I most certainly hope that no one follows! Is there anything more you can tell fans about your plans for upcoming matches? Any new holds you’re working?

Chase: Oh, I’m always working on new holds and things of that nature. I can’t go into details about upcoming releases, but like I said earlier, I film “unique” matches which is why my releases are kind of spread out. Just know that when my name is placed in the catalog that I’m about to steal the show.

Bard: Well, my heart pumps faster when I see a new release with your name on it. You continue to be charming, as advertised. I want to thank you for returning to my interview chair again. I hope it won’t be the last time.

Chase: Anytime for you Bard

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Charm School Headmaster

Called Out

When I started blogging nearly 8 years ago, I had no idea it would come to this. There are a few moving parts to this little melodrama being played out in my life, so bear with me as I write some expository to try to set up the remarkable circumstances within which I find myself. I know that you’re used to me writing homoerotic wrestling fiction, but at the risk of ripping off the Cohen Brothers, let me just assure you that while I have skipped over some of the more trivial points in the story, the rest of what I’m about to tell you is described exactly as it occurred.

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The Classic, man-of-my-dreams, Scott Williams

First of all, as I say often, I have my favorites. Even casual readers can name the hunks who reliably, predictably, inevitably get me hard every time I watch them in action.  From Chris Cuomo to Mitch Colby to Rusty Stevens, there are a few names that recur with such frequency on these pages that I’ve been known to provoke irritation from some readers who tire of my infatuations. However, as I also say often, this blog has always been about me, so suck it up or move on. One of my longstanding fan infatuations that I’ve held for long before I started blogging is for The Classic, Scott Williams.

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Milking the fight of opponents for years

I swoon every time I watch Scott snap on headscissors, flex his glutes, and press his hips forward, threatening to crush some lucky son of a bitch’s skull. In an interview I did with another classic infatuation, Shane McCall, I referred to Scott as “the man of my dreams.”  It’s not an exaggeration. Scott’s devastatingly handsome hotness has always made him fantasyman material for me. Everything about him makes me weak in the knees. The square jaw, the bald head, the ripped muscles, the scorching intensity. His published work for BG East is comprised of merely 4 matches, and yet his presence in my homoerotic wrestling infatuations is so much more huge than that. When I recently learned that Scott still wrestles privately and in custom matches arranged through Jonny Firestorm, I started saving pennies immediately for another chance to crush on Scott’s hotness. I’m still saving (it takes a lot more pennies than I typically have on hand), but in the mean time, I regularly sift through the social media feeds of other wrestlers that I know also do similar work for Jonny, panning for that priceless glimpse of Scott’s gorgeous, hairy pecs.

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The Cheshire Cat, Drake Marcos

Now, let me shift my attention just a little, with the promise that, I swear, these various subplots will all collide before this post is done with. Another familiar infatuation that readers know well is my fandom for The Cheshire Cat, Drake Marcos. I was crushing on Drake’s handsome hotness since, literally, before I ever saw him wrestle. About four and a half years ago, Kid Karisma smuggled some behind the scenes snaps out of a BG East shoot. This was before The Boss started requiring non-disclosure agreements and my sources of up and coming BGE gosssip dried up, except for my very deeply embedded, super secret smuggler of back stage pic, known to me only as OMI (our man inside). In any case, I was already groovin’ on a candid, fully clothed shot of Drake at his very first BG East taping, before we even knew his name.  My fan relationship with the Cheshire Cat has taken several abrupt and unexpected turns. Drake reached out to me, turning up the charm even before his first match was released. Every time he wrestles, I repeatedly get off on his intensely erotic approach to the genre. I was thrilled to get to do a tandem interview with both Drake and Mason Brooks, soon after Mason crushed the Cheshire Cat like grapes and laid formal claim to his ass in Passion and Punishment 1. In that interview, in my sincerest effort to applaud Drake for looking so delicious getting pounded to pulp, he took umbrage at me suggesting that he’s an outstanding jobber. Words were spoken. Challenges made. And about 10 months later, there I was, getting a tour of BG East’s South Campus from none other than Drake.

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The end of Blogger vs. Wrestler

The tour was capped off with a settling of that brewing tension between us. Having no pro wrestling experience, I was unceremoniously tossed into the ring by my tour guide and worked over harshly, with that handsome, taunting grin beaming down at me every step of the way. Well, the grin sort of disappeared around the time that this “mere blogger” strung his tasty little meat sandwich up in the ropes, and then exploited his vulnerability in a tree of woe. And then stripped him naked, laid out flat on his back in the middle of the ring, snapping pics to document the priceless moment. There’ve been more words. Accusations of cheating and presenting “alternative facts.” I think Drake has simmered back down and finally acknowledges that in this blogger vs. wrestler battle, he was, in the end, my compliant plaything. I still pop my cork just knowing when there’s a new Drake match out (like now, so watch for my review of X-Fights 42).

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The Trophy Boy Ty Alexander

And now, for the 3rd tine of this complicated fork, let me just remind you of my ongoing enjoyment when watching the homoerotic wrestling career of Ty Alexander. Like Drake, my fandom for Ty began before we even got to see him wrestle. An OMI snap captured Ty’s hotness when he was all promise and potential and anticipation. In the intervening 3 years, the Trophy Boy has made quite a name for himself, owning social media, selling his sensational brand of fashion-forward wrestling narcissism, and managing to snag the Jobber of the Year title while demonstrating repeatedly that he is no pushover.

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Ty demands respect for his ass

And so here’s where all three of these strands of story start to entwine. I had the temerity to let it be known that I did not vote for Ty to win the Best Butt title this year. Regular readers were completely unsurprised that I, once again, threw my full support behind Kid Karisma’s behind. For some reason, this provoked Ty to take aim at making me pay for my “mistake” … corporally. I’ve since received challenges from Ty to face him in the ring, so that he can work out his frustrations all over my body. He’s promised to beat my blogger ass for the perceived slight toward his.

At first, I didn’t take this all that seriously. This is Ty Alexander, we’re talking about. Jobber of the Year. When a notorious jobber tries to pick a fight, it’s just because he’s aching to get owned, right? It’s not like I need to jump when Ty snaps his fingers, because a young stud as gagging to be dominated as Ty is in 90% of his matches is surely going to still be on the line whenever I get around to pick up. Right?

Well, the whole surprising heat from the Trophy Boy took a sudden and unexpected turn for the dark side about a week ago. I got a notice that I had a video from him waiting for me in my inbox. Now, Ty has sent me (and I’m not exaggerating), hundreds of pics and clips of him. He knows I like the look of his body, and he’s every bit the narcissist to get off on knowing it, so he scratches both of our itches. Often. So I clicked on this latest video expecting to see him showing off his 2nd place ass in the tanning both or in the gym locker room again. But no. This was unlike anything I’ve ever received before.

It was Ty, mounted across Scott Williams’ back, wrenching the man of my dreams in a totally fucked up, nasty ass, vile as shit camel clutch. Of course, my dick snapped to attention immediately. I thought, for a brief moment, this was just a little stolen snippet from another Jonny custom bout. But again, no. Ty was shoving Scott’s gorgeous face (mostly covered by Ty’s hands) into the camera and sending a very personal, very specific message, to no one else but me.

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Ty dangles Scott’s ripped body in front of me

“Hey Bard,” Ty says, like we were old chums picking up in the middle of a conversation we’ve had for years. “I just wanted to show you our friend, Mr. Scott in my camel clutch.” Uuuuuuuugh, Scott groans in obvious pain, Fuck you!, he snarls furiously, wailing and choking on the torture. There in a pro ring somewhere. “This is what’s in store when you face me, when you finally man up,” Ty continues, staring at the camera and smiling even as he wrenches that much harder on Scott’s neck, making The Classic whimper.

Fuck you, fuck you, shut the fuck up! Scott shouts, his voice muffled through Ty’s hands clamped around his leading man chin. “Last time I checked,” Ty smirks, “I pretty much fucked him today. Are you going to give now, Scott?” Fuck you, you fucking fuck, God damn it! Scott wails. Ty pulls back on his neck another 3 inches and Scott’s voice rises about 10 decibels and half an octave, God damn it, God damn it! No, fuck off!!!!  “Give!” Ty demands cooly, almost quietly, leaning back another 2 inches. I GIVE, YOU FUCKER! Scott screams in exquisite agony.

“Sorry, Bard,” Ty says to me, staring into the camera as he climbs off, revealing he’s been working that vicious camel clutch on Scott’s entirely naked ass. “Just look what’s in store when you finally face me,” Ty concludes, stretching out on top of Scott’s muscled back.

At this point, let me pause the narrative to make a couple of points. First of all, no. I won’t post the video. One reason is that I don’t have permission from all parties involved to publish it further. But an even bigger reason is that I am a greedy fucker, and knowing that this steaming hot 60 second vignette was made for my eyes only has made me get off on it repeatedly in the past week or so, and I’m savoring it as my own, my precious.

But further, can I just say what a mind fuck it is to watch Scott Williams, the man of my dreams, one of my longest standing homoerotic wrestling infatuations, get punished for no other reason than the fact that Ty knows I crush like crazy on Scott!? Scott’s whimpers and wails, his bald head flushing beet red, his bitter, tortured, agonizing profanity and naked humiliation have occurred for one reason only: for Ty to get at me.

So, there’s that. Fuck me sideways, this has got to be the sexiest call out in the history of professional wrestling. Well, it was the sexiest call out until just yesterday when I found a second video in my inbox.

This one is 3 minutes long. As it opens, Ty (completely naked) is climbing onto a hot, naked ass belonging to someone lying face down on a bed in front of the camera. Ty grabs this lucky loser by the hair and wrenches his face up and toward the camera, so that I can see…. that it’s Drake Marcos.

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Similar shot from their Babyface Brawl X, though Drake wasn’t enjoying it this time at all

“Hey Bard,” Ty chats with me again through the camera. “I just put Drake through the ringer. I’ve kind of owed him a little bit of a beatdown for a while, because of all the shit he talks about me.” Ty muscles Drake into a camel clutch, again shoving his prey’s agony-contorted face into the camera for me to watch up close.  Drake is wailing like a wounded animal. Ty suddenly drops him and flings him to his back, saddling up naked on Drake’s gut and throttling his throat with both hands. The Cheshire Cat is choking and spitting and struggling to shove Ty away, but Ty grabs my boy’s wrists and pins them to the bed.

“I think it’s time to finish up little Drake here,” Ty says, leaning back. Drake immediately lands a cracking punch to Ty’s left pec.  A half second later, Ty slaps the fuck out of Drake’s face. I mean, fuck, it hurts just watching it! Then Ty stretches across Drake’s chest and wraps him up in a Kiss of Death, locking down a sleeper while smothering Drake’s mouth and nose to speed things up. Drake flails and bucks in a panic. Ty just keeps riding until his mount goes limp underneath him.

“See Bard, you’re missing out on all of the fun here,” Ty smirks into the camera. “So I hope you’re ready for whatever’s going to come Drake’s way, ’cause I’ll just do the same to you whenever I wrestle you.”

So, I’m both titillated beyond belief to see if a new ransom video shows up in my inbox, and a little worried for all of the favorite wrestlers I’ve gushed about over the years (Mitch, Mason, Brad, Kayden, Rusty… watch your backs!). I had no idea Jobber of the Year Ty had this level of sadistic cunning. He’s picking off my favorites, one by one, and video documenting their humiliation as a means of provoking me to accept his challenge and show up for Blogger vs. Wrestler, The Sequel. There’s something downright diabolical about it. It manages to inspire adolescent rescue fantasies, me the superhero breaking down the door to save the day for these hot slices of beefcake getting stacked like cordwood by this supervillain. And, on the other hand, it piques my curiosity as to just how far the Trophy Boy will take this, and will he dig himself in too deep and bite off more than he can chew before I’ve finally had enough and show up to redeem the heartthrobs whose only offense has been to get me hard and inspire me to write about them?

I’m sure you’ve got advice for me, so let me have it in the comments below. I repeat, no, I won’t share the videos with you. But I will, most certainly, let you know how this twisted plot of suffering and shocking torture continues to play out.

 

And the Winner Is…

The Best of BG East in 2016 has already been announced! Damn, that was fast. Clearly, I get into awards season heavily, so of course I need to debrief.

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Top Babyface of 2016 – Biff Farrell

Biff’s ascendancy to the throne as Top Babyface is a remarkable rise for last year’s Debut of the Year winner. Seriously, we’ve been lusting after this gorgeous muscle man for less than two years! And just like that, he steps in, yanks the title from longtime title holder Jake Jenkins, and slaps JJ to the curb. There’s a reason that I let alliteration go fucking nuts when I’m talking about big, blond, blue-eyed, buff, bulging, beautiful babyfaced Biff.

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Best Abs of 2016 – Chace LaChance

With no defending title holders in the pool, Chace LaChance muscled his washboard right onto the throne as having the best abs. I had guessed that Chace might leverage his army of body worshipping fans to fill this vacuum.

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Best Body of 2016 – Kid Karisma

Fuck, yeah! I have been arguing for years that Kid Karisma had the best body from top to bottom, and I’m thrilled that the court of public opinion has finally agreed with me. Last year’s winner, Chace, wasn’t even nominated, which certainly begs the question of who would fans want to worship more today. And there’s absolutely no other possible way to resolve this question than a jock strap wrestling match in the ring. And I STILL say Kid K’s body would rock the competition out cold.

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Best Bulge of 2016 – Kirk Donahue

Honestly, I’m unaccustomed to being so much in the majority when it comes to the Besties. But like me, a whole lot of the rest of you also noticed Kirk Donahue’s gargantuan bulge this year. I can think of no hotter scenario than Pete Sharp and Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) coming back in 2017 for a 3 way bulge off.

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Top Heel of 2016 – Jonny Firestorm

I’m shocked and aroused to learn that Guido Genatto just got beaten by Jonny Firestorm for the title to Top Heel. I said that if anyone could do it, it would be Jonny. Guido is loud, and huge, and nasty, but Jonny just shut the Dirty Daddy up but good by taking the title.

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Best Butt of 2016 – Kid Karisma

Again, I say, fuck, yeah! At what point do we just name this the Kid Karisma award? I’m thrilled to be with the herd in getting behind (and I mean, close behind) Kid K’s glorious glutes for yet another year as Best Butt. I know of at least 2 former contenders who didn’t get nominated who are bitter as shit, but not me. I’m just leaning back, a little light headed, and soaking in the sight of the Eighth Wonder of the World, Kid K’s unsurpassed ass.

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Tob Jobber in 2016 – Ty Alexander

Again, I was consistent with the popular vote in calling Ty Alexander Top Jobber yet again. On the one hand, it’s a dubious distinction to be a Top Jobber repeat. No one exactly likes to lose, do they? On the other hand, a jobber of Ty’s quality can make even a train wreck of a match compelling. And I predict that if he keeps that bleach blond ‘do, he’ll get his ass spanked relentlessly yet again in 2017.

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Debut of the Year 2016 – Beauxregard

I hedged my bets big time in the Debut of the Year category, but true enough, my vote didn’t swing things Chase Addams’ way. Instead, it was one of the other hot newcomers I thought was in contention taking the title this year, rock hard Beauxregard. I love what he brings to the table, and I think all of BG East is better for it. I’m looking forward to seeing what big Beaux accomplishes in 2017.

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Best Submission of 2016 – Jonny Firestorm & Calvin Haynes in Hunkbash 18

Congratulations to Jonny and Calvin for taking the enigmatic title of Best Submission of 2016. I had my eye on another contender, but it’s not so surprising that the bad ass who just took the title as Top Heel would lock down the Best Submission follow up. And there’s no arguing that he fucking brutalizes doe eyed babyface Calvin.

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Sexiest Match of 2016 – Dark Knights 13

A hearty congratulations to Kayden Keller and Debut of the Year winner Beauxregard on taking home the title for Sexiest Match of the year. It was a scorching hot field of contenders, and though I didn’t side with the majority on this one, there’s no denying they slapped down what was almost certainly the most explicit, sweaty, sexy assed heel on heel beatdown of the year. Well earned praise for KayK and a super hot haul for Beaux’s first year in the business.

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Best Ring Match of 2016 – Tag Team Torture 19 – Addams & Alexander vs. Evans & Taylor

I wasn’t playing coy with just how infatuated I was with this match, so I’m thrilled no end to see it take the Best Ring Match title. If even one of the four of these young studs was a weak link in the chain, a complex tag team melodrama like this could have easily been a dud. But every one of the wrestlers in this match earned every praise and every award it got. Now when do we get to see Team All-Americans tear into the tag team ranks again?

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Best Squash of 2016 – Demolition 21 – LaCash vs. Sorell

Kip Sorell got squashed like a bug by Flash LaCash, and fans picked it as the best of 2016. I’m generally lukewarm on this genre in general, but I get it. This is a hot match. My vote went elsewhere, but I’m so not in the mainstream when it comes to squashes in general, I’m not too surprised.

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Best Mat Match of 2016 – Undagear 25 – Andrews vs. Marcos

This was a close second choice for me, but I was irked not to get a chance to vote for what I thought was an even sexier Drake Marcos match. In any case, kudos to Drake and Ethan for nailing down this victory with gallons of sweat and tears and some damn fine mat wrestling. This was super competitive, brutal, and sexy as fuck.

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Hottest Liplock of 2016 – Wet & Wild 8 – Taylor & Haynes

I didn’t vote with the majority in this category, either, but there’s no denying the remarkable passion in that pumping, grinding, grunting make out session between Christian Taylor and Calvin Haynes. I’m thrilled to see both Christian and Calvin starring in multiple award winners this year. And when it comes to liplocks, really… is anyone a loser?

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Best Wrestler Spotlight of 2016 – Chace LaChance

Chace continued to show off his blazing fan power with a win in the category of Best Spotlight. I had this as a third place on my score card, so I clearly broke with the herd. But the definition of a wrestler spotlight is fan power, so congratulations to Chace and all of the opponents who made this DVD a winner.

Best Overall Match of 2016 – Tag Team Torture 19 – Addams & Alexander vs. Evans & Taylor

You don’t know how thrilled I am to see fans select the opening match of Tag Team Torture 19 as the Best Overall Match of 2016. It got universally rave reviews from all of us who take the time to blog about this stuff. I’m pleased as punch that fans were of like mind with us bloggers, and I hope it does nothing but push for more tag team matches, more selfies, and much, much more of Christian Taylor, Charlie Evans, Ty Alexander, and Chase Addams.

Congratulations to everyone who won, and to all the nominees. It was an outstanding year at BG East, precisely because everyone in front of the camera and everyone behind the camera did such an excellent job producing high quality homoerotic wrestling of that flavor that only BG East can quite manage. I would argue there are no losers here.

And the Nominees Are…

Tonight. Midnight. Submit your votes for the Best of BG East in 2016. I realize that I’m atypical when it comes to how many BG East matches I watch over the year, so this little voter’s guide is intended to help fill in any blanks some of you may have for lack of exposure to some of the nominees. If 2016 teaches us nothing else, it proves that nothing requires us to be educated and informed voters. However, if you prefer to vote based on something other than your cock’s reaction to one still photo, but you don’t have time to see the whole ballot of matches, feel free to consider my opinions for what they’re worth (which is relatively little, but a little more than voting with no basis whatsoever).

Let’s power through the remaining categories to finish off your ballot.

Best Mat Battle

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Babyface Brawl 4 – Cameron Matthews vs. Jonah Richards

It’s a little surprising to consider this match “from the vaults” for a 2016 award. Both Jonah and especially Cameron were so young in this match. It’s hard not to superimpose what we know about how Cameron grew up, muscled up, and launched his own production company since this match was taped. I loved this match immensely. It’s rough and raw. The boys clearly hate the fuck out of each other. Lovely, lickable twinks who may look like babies but wrestle like nasty back alley brawlers.

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Gazebo Grapplers 18 – Kid Karisma vs. Mason Brooks

It’s a close call for me, but my vote goes to Kid K and Mason. Both of these beautiful boys are perennial favorites of mine, so I had very high hopes for this match going in. They didn’t disappoint, and in fact the intensity is even hotter, the bodies even more beautiful, and the mat wrestling drama even more compelling than I’d expected. It also helps that these hunks so enjoy each other’s bodies. It’s cocky and playful and reads like the hottest foreplay in history.

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Undagear 25 – Jake Jenkins vs. Attila Dynasty

Similarly, I’ve never seen a match that includes JJ or Attila that fails to get me off. It’s a match up of an amateur mat champ and a ripped, acrobatic brawler. These are both thoroughbred athletes with massive egos, so the action is brutal and vicious. Not nearly as much erotic heat as Gazebo 18, but magnificent mat wrestling nonetheless.

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Wrestler Spotlight 3 Austin Cooper vs. Jake Ryder

The narrative behind Coop and Ryder’s mat tussle is great. Coop’s competitive amateur wrestling days seem so far behind him, since he’s been showing up as Dr. Cooper and dissecting opponents like a heart surgeon (aka, mercilessly) in the ring. So Jake seems to be unaware that Coop kicks ass on the mats as well. Ryder lies and cheats his way into putting the doctor into serious jeopardy, but in a lush mash up of babyface Austin and his Dr. Cooper heel alter ego, this mat battle turns nasty pro.

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Undagear 26 – Van Skyler vs. Payton Meadows

I’ve written a small novel about what this match does for me, so I’ll try not to repeat myself. What grabs me by the balls most is how both of these dazzlingly pretty boys show us something completely new. They’re gorgeous. The wrestling is completely ego driven. They’re gorgeous. The dialogue is sensationally sexy. They’re gorgeous. And the all in, vicous submissions are way more intense and work than I expect to see from supremely pretty boys like this. Oh, yeah, and they’re gorgeous.

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Undagear 25 – Drake Marcos vs. Ethan Andrews

Speaking intensity born of dislike, Drake and Ethan rip into each other with a passion that can’t quite be described with words. They’re mean to each other. They’re vicious and brutal. It turns sensationally sexy as the gear gets stripped, but not so much because they turn each other on, but because you get the impression that the final victory lap (after the pony ride) could very well be a domineering, taunting, sneering, contemptuous fuck. Buckets of sweat. A couple pints of tears. Lush bodies. This is a very close second choice for me.

 

Hottest Liplock

We almost certainly all know what we like about liplocks. I like sweat, palpable passion, a tablespoon of aggression, and authentic lust. Here are your options.

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Dark Knights 13 – Kayden Keller vs Beauxregard

I’m in an ethical dilemma when it comes to giving you a look at the first nominee for Hottest Liplock. BG East has an embargo on me sharing any of their pics that contain full frontal, and yet the only shots of this liplock include both wrestlers with their full-mast cocks in hand. So I’m hoping that I’ll be forgiven for cropping out the bottom of this shot, to stay within the strictly PG requirements I’ve agreed to, despite having to drop the BG East copyright at the bottom of the photo. If this photo suddenly disappears and is replaced by a puppy, you’ll know that I have been asked, and as always I’ve agreed, to a request from the copyright holder to remove the image. All that fine print aside, this is a hot liplock, right?

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Wet & Wild 8 – Christian Taylor vs. Calvin Haynes

Sensationally sexy liplock between Christian and Calvin. The authenticity is well-established long ahead of time, as they both telegraph all along that they are turning each other on. If you still doubt it, their rock hard cocks straining the pouches of their trunks should prove the point.

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Sexy Showdown 7 – Drake Marcos vs. Nino Leone

My vote goes to Drake’s kiss-‘n’-pin of gorgeous newbie Nino “Babyboy” Leone. It ticks off all of my boxes, including sweat, passion, simmering aggression, and what is quite obviously open lust. This is one of the most brutal matches this year, which makes the incredibly tender ending that much more dizzying. Squarely in the homoerotic sweet spot.

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The Great Outdoors 2 – Charlie Evans vs. Blaine Janus

When it comes to quantity, Charlie and Blaine very well may have locked lips the most in their ginger-off in the backyard. I believe Blaine gets the award for popping Charlie’s (kissing) cherry first in his homoerotic wrestling career, but Charlie is quite clearly abundantly skilled in sucking face and using it as a defensive maneuver on the mats. For kissing as chess match move, I give this liplock a close second place on my ballot.

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Motel Madness UK: Chris Xaos vs. Mike Martin

I get the impression that I am as big a fan of Chris Xaos as most of the rest of you are of Mike Martin. So between the two of us (you, me), we should be crazy for their scorching hot mat match this year. The liplock is more teasing than passionate, for my tastes. That said, I’d change my vote for a chance to stick my tongue down Chris Xaos’ throat (well, if he’s naked).

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Undagear 26: Christian Taylor vs. Jeremy Burk

There’s nothing teasing about Christian and Jeremy’s passion at the end of their hot and rough mat match. This is a full on make out session, and it’s lathered in sweat, and it’s got a half a cup of aggression still playing out, and I fully believe these boys are into each other. Christian is the reigning kissing master at BG East, which may work against him this time around for the potential vote splitting with his liplock on Calvin.

 

Best Wrestler Spotlight

It seems like a testimony to a wrestler’s marketability to get an entire DVD release devoted to one person. So the three nominees this year for Best Wrestler Spotlight represent some major fan favorites.

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Wrestler Spotlight: Biff Farrell

Biff follows up with his victory as Debut of the Year last year with multiple nominations across the ballot, including for his Wrestler Spotlight. He’s compelling and gorgeous. I actually think the strength of this collection is in the quality of his opponents, though. You get the impression everyone wants a shot at this ridiculously hot beefcake. This is a very close second place for me.

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Wrestler Spotlight: Austin Cooper (3)

Has anyone ever starred in 3 Wrestler Spotlight DVDs before? Although this collection tends toward showing off Coop’s work as a gorgeously bashable babyface, his mat match with Jake Ryder gives some awesome flashes of Dr. Cooper hanging out his shingle. The quality of his opponents is less consistent than the other two Wrestling Spotlights, but Coop has emerged as such a fantastic, complex, competitive, multifaceted character, that I’m persuaded (just) to cast my vote for him.

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Wrestler Spotlight: Chace LaChance

Chace’s spotlight is sort of a retrospective of his career, featuring him as the go-go boy, the beefsteak, and the fitness model that he has been at different phases of his wrestling. His end of the bargain is less consistent than the other two Wrestling Spotlight stars, which is to be expected considering these matches come from such drastically different parts of his career. Still, although there’s nothing to complain about, I enjoyed Coop’s cubed spotlight the best.

 

Best 2016 Overall Match

Now the free for all starts.  I know well that fans are fierce about their favorites, and when comparing apples to oranges, there’s no pretense of objectivity or even a measurable standard to point to. Seven times out of 10, I’m biased toward ring matches. I tend to favor big personalities and hot bodies in equal measure. I like to be surprised. I like to be made to laugh. And it is essential that I get hard.  With all those biases in mind, I’ll tell you how I see the field for Best of 2016.

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Tag Team Torture 19 – Addams & Alexander vs. Evans & Taylor

First on the ballot is my pick for the Best Overall Match at BG East in 2016. It’s an instant classic. It’s sexy as hell. Two incredible debuts. Drama, drama, drama. Very high quality pro wrestling. Intramural rivalries. And dick pic selfies. It’s everything I could want in a match (except for a copy of those dick pics).

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Matmen 26: Drake Marcos vs. Skrapper

A very close second place for me is this masterpiece on the mats between Drake and Skrapper. If I’d had the option, I very well might have picked this over Mason and Kid Karisma for the Best Mat Battle, but alas, the nominating committee didn’t see fit to give me the chance.  The wrestling is outstanding. The erotic tension is thick and juicy. And the boys are real and beautiful. The only edge TTT19 has on this for me is the full throttle pro ring vibe.

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Ring Releases 4: Drake Marcos vs. Kayden Keller

So put Drake in the ring with Kayden Keller, and you might think I’d be unable to resist. I resist, though. It swings hard for a slasher vibe, but doesn’t quite connect. TTT19 and Drake’s work in Matmen 26 hit the bullseye better. And then there’s Drake’s gear to consider (smh).

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Demolition 20: Austin Cooper vs. Kirk Donahue

Watching cocky indy pro Kirk Donahue get trampled by a “mere” underground phenom like Dr. Cooper is guaranteed to tickle my funny bone and get me hard. This is a magnificent beatdown and totally worthy of a shot at the title, but it just didn’t get my vote.

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Undagear 25: Drake Marcos vs. Ethan Andrews

That’s right, haters, Drake Marcos anchors a full half of the Best Match nominees this year! I recently referred to 2016 as the year of the rookie, but it may have to be rebranded as the year of Drake. The heat is scorching in his match with Ethan. And I do love seeing bully-Ethan face off against someone who gives it right back to him. But the raw rage and bitterness don’t quite put this match over Drake’s match with Skrapper for me, and neither quite persuade me to tip them over Tag Team Torture 19.

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Gazebo Grapplers 18: Kid Karisma vs. Mason Brooks

See all my comments above about why I voted for this as Best Mat Battle, and then remind yourself that this does not take place in a wrestling ring. It’s immensely satisfying, funny, fierce and brutal, and it gets extra points in my book for Mason’s perfect (perfect) choice in undergarments. But I’m still throwing my one, lone vote to the fierce foursome in TTT19.

The real winner is you and me, of course. Such a rich, entertaining, arousing body of work from BG East in 2016 is why BG East is the first place I go for that particular mix of homoerotic wrestling that keeps me satisfied. Congratulations to all of the nominees (except for Kirk). You are, every last one of you, gorgeous to watch mix it up in the ring, on the mats, and everywhere else that the Boss’ imagination takes us. Thanks for all of the distractions in 2016 that kept me from the abyss of absolute despair over current events

And the Nominees Are…

You only have until the end of the day Thursday to register your vote for the Best of BG East in 2016, so I’m going to power through the remaining categories for those waiting for the completion of this voter’s guide. As always, take it with a grain of salt. My opinions reflect nothing more than my opinions. Just vote. It’s supposed to be fun. All of these wrestlers are beautiful, and we’re lucky to get to enjoy their wrestling, so heap praises on all of them.

Best Submission

I’ve asked for clarification on this category before, but not really gotten any. The options are matches, but they aren’t all really submission matches, so the category isn’t best submission match so much. But we don’t get to vote on a particular submission within a match. I’m sure I’m over thinking it. In any case, I’ll keep my comments brief in the interest of getting through the remainder of the ballot before the polls close.

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Ring Wars 25 – Dick Rick vs. Lucky Loko

Two sensationally skilled indy pro wrestlers add up to incredible submissions. I was torn between including a photo of this Mexican Ceiling hold or Lucky’s gorgeous stretcher, hanging from the ropes and wrenching Dick every wrong way. Very top quality wrestling, with sensationally executed submissions.

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3-Way Thrash 4 – Jonny Firestorm vs. Brute Baynard vs. Guido Genatto

The options for sensational submissions exponentiate when you throw three highly skilled indy pro veterans in the ring for a free for all. It’s hard to beat Guido’s simultaneous camel clutch on Brute and Boston Crab on Jonny for innovation and strength. This is my second favorite submission in the mix.

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Undagear 25 – Drake Marcos vs. Ethan Andrews

Submissions fly every which way between Drake and Ethan, so it’s hard to pick out just one to highlight. I’m partial to this gorgeous figure-4 face-smothering Ethan uses to put Drake out cold. Of course, two pony rides in this match sort of epitomize submission. Extremely hot back and forth in this battle.

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Gazebo Grapplers 18 – Paul Hudson vs. Skip Vance

Again, I’m not sure which one submission to highlight, but I’m pretty sure it’s one where Skip Vance is getting his skinny ass handed to him on a platter (because that’s pretty much every submission in this match). I do like everything about this particular submission hold featured here, with Paul applying scissors, a vicious hammerlock, and grinding Skip’s screaming face into the mat, all at the same time. Art, people. Art.

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Hunkbash 18 – Jonny Firestorm vs. Calvin Haynes

Again, so many options to choose from. I’ll call out Jonny’s leg choke, over the ropes, with a pec claw chaser, but I’m nearly as much a fan of the fish hook camel clutch. And the ball bashing. And the… wait. We’d better move on if I’m getting through this voter’s guide.

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Tag Team Torture 19 – Addams & Alexander vs. Evans and Taylor

Now consider the submission possibilities with 4 wrestlers in the ring, often simultaneously. This is my vote for Best Submission mostly based on how blown out of the water I was by this out-of-nowhere gravity defying torture hold from debuting newbie Chase Addams. Chase calls this hold the Will Breaker, and you should hear 6’2″ Christian crumble like shattered glass when the devastating newbie trusses him up as if he’s been doing this for decades. My second favorite submission from this match is Christian and his tag team partner Charlie teaming up to squeeze a submission out of Ty Alexander with simultaneous face-to-crotch headscissors and a Boston Crab. Tag team wrestling done so, so right in this match.

 

Sexiest Match

Talk about open to interpretation. Actually, I suspect most of us gauge this category based on how successfully a match got us off.  So that means the criteria is extremely subjective, and guessing who may win seems incredibly difficult.

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X-Fights 41 – Ty Alexander vs. Steven Ponce

Fuck, this match is sexy. Ty is nobody’s jobber in walking this pornboy through his pro wrestling paces. The match is explicitly and directly about sexual conquest from well before these two even make it to the ring. Surprisingly deep when it comes to the wrestling drama, this is an outstanding entry into the X-Fight lexicon.

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Wet & Wild 8 – Christian Taylor vs. Calvin Haynes

Total newbie Calvin Haynes likes the look of Christian Taylor, so he initiates the hottest foreplay on the planet: wrestling. This is another erotic-forward match packed with the drama of two gorgeous, hot studs so obviously turned on by each other. The pool wrestling is brutal. The towel off is tender. And the bedroom wrestling finale is a magnificent combination of both.

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Sexy Showdown 7 – Drake Marcos vs. Nino Leone

At the beginning of the match, I thought this “loser gets shaved” things was a little gimmicky. About halfway through, in the middle of gallons of sweat, I was stunned by the intensity and balls out seriousness of the wrestling. By the end, this has always been about hot, steamy, lush passion, with a little side serving of tender loving to give it that sweet finish.  I think this is my second place choice for Sexiest Match this year, but buckle up, because this is not the last you’ll see of Drake in this category.

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Ring Releases 4 – Drake Marcos vs. Kayden Keller

That’s right, sabotaging his own success as only Drake can, he’s competing against himself for Sexiest Match in Ring Releases 4. Incredibly compelling match with equal parts scream queens, Hitchcock, and Bel Ami. My only complaint is Drake’s gear, which mercifully gets ripped off him soon enough in the match.

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Matmen 26 – Drake Marcos vs. Skrapper

Hands down, the sexiest match of the year for me was Matmen 26, between Drake and Skrapper.  The match is so aggressive. It’s so intense and brutal and it careens like a runaway train into sweat soaked erotic passion so authentically. I don’t think we see nearly enough full naked wrestling in this homoerotic industry, so the portion of the match that keeps charging ahead well after they both lose their gear is so satisfying. Even though I’m a big fan of both of these boys, this match took me by surprise by how totally compelling it was, and the erotic tension from start to finish is superb.

 

Best Ring Match

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Wrestler Spotlight Biff Farrell vs. Kelly King

This match is what happens when you put a big, bulging pro wannabe in a ring with a bigger, more bulging, sensationally seasoned pro.  The story practically tells itself, though you have to watch it to get the bait and switch that Kelly sells so remarkably successfully. Biff suffers so sensationally that it brings a tear to my eye. This is my second favorite ring match of the year.

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Last Man Standing 2 – Guido Genatto vs. Dolph Danner

Again, if you want an outstanding ring match, toss two extremely experienced indy pros into the BG East ring and insist they battle until one of them wins with a 10 count. Guido and Dolph classed up the place when it comes to quality ring wrestling and pro brutality. I love the grit and egos and battle of wills. Endurance sport with thoroughbreds like this is rare and gorgeous to watch.

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Hunkbash 18 – Jonny Firestorm vs. Calvin Haynes

And then there’s that magic again that you get when you toss a beefcake wrestling wannabe in the ring with a seasoned pro heel. I always, always have a bias toward homoerotic wresting that’s more homoerotic, so this is my second favorite ring match on the ballot. Bigger than life. Beautiful as hell.

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Tag Team Torture 19 – Addams & Alexander vs. Evans & Taylor

Again, my vote goes to the opening match of Tag Team Torture 19. From the opening sequence in which Charlie Evans introduces himself to BG East by perfectly executing a Ginger Snap, to the corner to corner melodrama between the teams, to the magnificent intramural contest between Team Vanity to get their opponents to name which of them hurts them worse, to Chase’s Will Breaker, to this Beauty and Beast double team combo (by the good guys, no less), this match is packed with classic pro tag team wrestling with just the right amount of homoerotic flair to make me recognize it as our own.

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Wrestler Spotlight Chace LaChance vs. Jake Jenkins

And then there’s what comes from throwing two pretty boys who we’ve watched grow into this business tear into each other. I don’t think of either JJ or Chace as naturals in the ring, which makes the pace and power of this ring match such a pleasant surprise. Not nearly as homo or erotic as TTT19, still there’s a big BGE stamp on this match that comes from the way these two have developed under the guiding hand of the Boss.

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Demolition 20 – Austin Cooper vs. Kirk Donahue

And now, for your consideration, the combo of an experienced indy pro jobbing for yet another pretty boy who we’ve watched grow into a magnificent BG East-style pro. I’d almost considered voting for this on the off chance that giving more praises to matches in which Kirk gets clobbered would inspire more of the same in the future. But you don’t have to carry my grudge against Howdy Doody to see a lot to like in this match, not least of which is hot muscle domination, buckets of sweat, and big vs.little boy bashing.

 

Best Squash

My least favorite category, so I’ll say the least about it.  I do love a good squash on rare occasions. Not nearly as often as a lot of you, clearly, because the industry pumps out so many more squashes than I can consume. But sure, on occasion, a one-sided total mauling of one hunk by another hits some sweet notes to savor.

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Demolition 21 – Flash LaCash vs. Kip Sorell

Kip squashed like a bug. Gorgeous. I still say that Flash LaCash is far prettier than he seems to get credit for. But it’s hard to focus on the pretty when he’s such a devastatingly effective muscle heel.

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Demolition 21 – Kid Karisma vs. Mister E

You had me at “Kid Karisma.” If anyone can carry a squash narrative and keep me engaged, it’s Kid K. He is a fucking BEAST in this match. I’d say more, but it would mostly be about Kid K’s body.  This would be my second choice for this category, if pressed to have one.

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Masked Destroyers 1 – Trey Dixon vs. Thrash

My vote goes to Trey and Thrash for a few reasons. First, Trey Dixon is a god. Doomed, but a god. Thrash is outstandingly compelling. He’s another incredible debut that could easily have deserved a spot on the ballot there as well. And finally, Thrash destroys Trey in order to own him. A lack of motivation sinks most squashes for me, so when Thrash starts signaling where all this beauty bashing is heading, I’m hooked. Fuck, more Thrash. More Trey Dixon. Please.

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Biff Farrell Spotlight vs. Kelly King

Maybe this is my second choice. I don’t know. I will say this match turned me into a big Kelly King fan. Huge push to Biff’s consideration for Top Jobber.

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Masked Destroyers 1 – Cybertron vs. Mister E

I have no idea what motivates Cybertron. He’s a magnificent specimen of a man, but honestly, he won this match against Mister E about 45 seconds in. But he doesn’t stop. Why is that? Why don’t I “get” squashes more than I do?

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Hunkbash 18 – Viggo vs. Ronaldo

Okay, maybe this is my second place. Whatever. I will say that it’s a little shocking that these two sensational physiques got completely shut out of the body part categories. Though I did put Viggo up for my personal “Best Legs” contest. In any case, massive, mega squash, pretty on pretty.

Don’t forget to vote!

 

 

And the Nominees Are…

You just have a few days left to cast your ballot for the best of BG East in 2016. Get on it!  Still deciding?  Let’s look at a couple more categories in this completely unofficial and totally biased voter’s guide.

Jobber of the Year

While I think we tend to reach a quick consensus about what a heel is, I think there’s a mushy definition of a jobber. Of course, the Besties don’t come with a definition of the categories, so you’re free to vote based on whatever inclination you have about what constitutes a jobber. I think of a jobber as a wrestler who is quite likely to lose his matches, even when the objective measures of likely success (experience, strength, skill) probably swing his direction. I think of a particularly accomplished jobber as one that not only loses, but sells it, suffering openly, accentuating the devastating moves of his opponent, conveying the melodrama of the ring by openly telegraphing every soul crushing, ego busting, dignity stealing moment in a way that elevates the story from fleeting fantasy to knock on the door of brutal reality. I think of skilled jobbers as those who make me wince a little when they scream out, whimper, or choke on the pain. A dominating opponent (whether heel or not) dishes up the dominating moves and holds. A skilled jobber serves it to us in its most delicious presentation possible. Like I said, though, you can cast your vote based on whatever definition or standards you look for in a Top Jobber. In any case, here are your choices.

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Ty Alexander

Ty Alexander is back in contention to defend the title of Top Jobber that he won last year. In 2016, he wrestled in X-Fights 41, X-Fights 40, 3-Way Thrash 4, Tag Team Torture 19, and Demolition 19. While he wasn’t a jobber in all of those (particularly X-Fights 41), Ty once again got his ass crushed persistently, and his already outstanding skills at selling his own degradation have only improved with time. He regularly shows flashes of brilliance and dangerousness, which makes him a particularly compelling jobber for me. He doesn’t just get squashed. He gets conquered, beaten down into place, and he withers and writhes and sucks on his own humiliation beautifully. He was my pick for Top Jobber last year, and I have to say he’s head and shoulders above the rest of the field again this year, as far as I’m concerned.

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Biff Farrell

Biff Farrell enters the race as the only full-on muscle jobber. Biff wrestled in 3-Way Thrash 3, Babyface Brawl 4,  Hunkbash 18, and his 3 Wrestler Spotlight matches in 2016. Like Ty, Biff is always dangerous. He isn’t a jobber because he’s instantly vulnerable and helpless. He sells a match because opponents have to work at it. They have to penetrate his impressive defenses. Biff makes them hurt along the way, but surely, inevitably it seems, his defenses do get penetrated. And then all those massive muscles start quivering and quaking and amounting to jack shit as his opponents beat the living fuck out of him like Stretch Armstrong. Personally, I’d love to see Biff turn the corner and shed the jobber mantle, because I think BG East could use some more full-on babyface heroes who can hold their own and keep the villains from taking it all for granted. But Biff has proven to be a huge talent in jobbing, and he has a ton of fans, so I suspect his unique set of assets could give Ty a run for his money this year.

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Drake Marcos

Drake Marcos keeps getting nominated, but I would argue he’s quickly growing out of his jobber ways. In 2016, Drake wrestled in Undagear 25, 3-Way Thrash 4, Sexy Showdown 7, Matmen 26, and Ring Releases 4. I admit that I have often (and recently) teased Drake about being a jobber, but just between you and me, that’s mostly just because it gets a rise out of him. If we’re being honest, I think his 3-Way Thrash 4 match was the only one that I’d consider him a jobber in. In the rest, he’s too dangerous. He’s too competitive. While he continues to sell suffering in a league all his own, and despite the ongoing scarcity of checks in his victory column, he’s just too competitive anymore for me to entirely buy the inevitability of his defeat. Check out Sexy Showdown 7 and you’ll see what I mean. I’m hoping we see the Cheshire Cat really come into his own in 2017, not just making opponents look good, but shocking and awing his way into the respect he deserves, but has not been getting, including from me (well, mostly from me).

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Mr. E

It’s hard to argue with the fact that Mr. E is a jobber through and through. In 2016, he wrestled in Masked Destroyers 1 and Demolition 21. When it comes to getting completely crushed, Mr. E is your man. He takes the high impact moves like nobody else. If there were levels to defeat, his would be the defeated-est of them all. The two knocks against him for the title this year, I think, are that he’s nearly in the realm of a doormat, and I don’t sense he has a huge following. I tend to think of Mr. E matches more like watching his opponents hitting the weights at the gym.  They work out, flex, show off their muscles, and Mr. E is mostly just the relatively passive gym equipment. I’d love to see this kid rip off that mask and show us a few moves he’s picked up over the years of getting trounced. In the mean time, he’s a total jobber, just, possibly, too much so.

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Kirk Donahue

Kirk Donahue seems like a legitimate threat to unseat Ty as Top Jobber this year. Kirk wrestled in Babyface Brawl 4, Demolition 20, and Gazebo Grappler 18. Personally, I love watching him get his fair-to-middling quality ass beat over and over and over again, so his staking out territory in jobberville suits me just fine. He’s nearly too competitive, too accomplished to quite fit the jobber crown. He has more than a few flashes of brilliance when it comes to offense. But he also carries an undeniable vulnerability with him. He’s on the skinny side. His smirky cuteness is like a giant “hit me” sign stapled to his forehead. And that big, impressive bulge I’m voting for conveys a sense of inherent jeopardy to him. And when conquered, as he is consistently, his suffering is magnificent. My favorite move is when he’s dazed, totally fucked up, not knowing up from down, and he starts crawling for the door to get the fuck out of there. So when his opponent drags him by his hair back for more gratuitous violence, his screaming horror is simply gorgeous. I know he has indy pro fans, but I don’t know if there’s a big crossover of those guys and BG East fans. He’s a worthy candidate, but I have to think he’s a long shot.

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Kip Sorell

Kip Sorell got steamrolled in 2016. He wrestled in Demolition 20, Demolition 21, and Bearhug Beatings 2. When it comes to the air of inevitability about his undoing, he’s got it in spades. The first time I see him not get squashed like a bug on a windshield, I will be deeply surprised. His salesmanship is decent, but not outstanding, particularly in this very accomplished field of candidates. He is ridiculously pretty, though, now isn’t he? And in Bestie voting, pretty seems to carry a whole lot of weight. Don’t get me wrong. I’d like to dip him in chocolate sauce and lick him clean. But I just don’t see him as making the most compelling case as Top Jobber this year.

 

Debut of the Year

Now things get really, really interesting. Yesterday I said that I thought the Top Heel category was the most competitive, perhaps the Best Body category coming in a close second. Debut of the Year is making a seriously hard run at the most competitive race, I have to think, because there were some sensational, highly memorable debuts this year for several young hunks who instantly grabbed fans by the balls. I love this race because it highlights the range of new talent BG East continues to recruit, from twinks to bears to boys to daddies, you could simply find your favorite kink and vote for that. If you take the category more seriously, though, you have to admit that there were several outstanding debuts leaving fans seriously hungry to see what these hunks accomplish in their sophomore year.

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Chase Addams

Chase Addams gets my vote for the debut of the year. He debuted in Tag Team Torture 19, and accomplished what very well may be a first in the business by immediately following up his debut match with a second match on the same DVD. I think featuring the same debut wrestler twice on one DVD is rare because newbies are so often a little weak in story telling. Newbies can be a little flat, a little light on personality, so putting them in back to back matches could easily draw attention to their.. .newbie-ness. Chase didn’t just hold his own in both his tag team debut and singles debut on the same release. He nailed it. We’ve got back story (“discovered” by Ty, brought into the business as the next generation of pro wrestling narcissists), and we’ve got character development (egos burn Team Vanity to the ground, and Chase wears his former mentor out in a barnburner grudge match). And that doesn’t even start to appreciate that Chase showed up, day one, with crazy ass torturous pro holds and a jaw dropping (literally) finisher. And, sure, I’m biased because Chase gave me his first interview and charmed the pants off me (again, literally). He’s young, lean, and hungry, and I think that the competition at BG East had better watch their backs when Chase enters the room.

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Calvin Haynes

Calvin Haynes caught a lot of attention in his debut this year in Wet & Wild 8, following it up a couple of catalogs later with getting absolutely dissected in Hunkbash 18. With that jawline and those muscles, Calvin could be a major threat in the babyface category for years to come. His debut against Christian Taylor was particularly charming for the erotic text. As a fresh, hot newbie, Calvin was unblinkingly explicit about his sexual interest in Christian. He wanted a piece of that dazzlingly pretty babyface, and he brought all of that hot and hairy muscle to the pool to earn it. My impression is that Calvin caught a lot of fans’ eyes, in no small part thanks to his muscled ass and big, bulging bulge (particularly when things turn intimately hot against Christian). There are simply not enough hot, hairy, musclebound pin-up boys in this business, and Calvin is a breath of fresh air. I’m guessing this may turn into a three-way race between Calvin, Chase, and …

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Beauxregard

Beauxregard nearly burned the ring up in his debut in 2016. He bookended the year with an initial debut in X-Fights 40 and then following up in the final catalog of the year with Dark Knights 13. I know that fans love him already. He’s massively muscled and hard as granite. He has a rock hard jaw and a deep, 6-packs a day rumbling bass. Just the look on Ty Alexander’s face when big Beaux stepped into the BG East ring for the first time said it all. This guy is instantly a phenomenon. He’s conveyed a lot less backstory than Chase. He isn’t as pretty as Calvin. But he’s a big, terrorizing muscle daddy from day one, which I know makes him a hot commodity among a major segment of fans. I would guess that either he, Calvin, or Chase will take the title.

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Nino Leone

Babyboy Leone showed up out of nowhere at the very end of 2016 and put up an incredibly hot debut in Sexy Showdown 7. He’s super lean and super gorgeous, and fur fans are wetting themselves over his Wolverine-esque coat. What particularly impressed me was just how game he was to work his ass off to stay competitive with a bigger, badder, much more experienced opponent. I get the impression that Bambino has just one speed, full throttle, and he didn’t waste a second of his debut figuring out whether this underground pro stuff is “real.” He just dug in deep and made himself at home on the mat, and all over every inch of Drake Marcos’ body. We already know he’s sly. Count him out and turn your back, and you’ll get your chest shaved (right Drake?). He’s not the only super lightweight newbie in this race, though, so between vote splitting and his hot off the presses debut, I’m guessing he’s a very long shot for taking this title. Fortunately for him, I’m sure One Direction would always take him back if this wrestling thing does pan out.

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Charlie Evans

I first started interacting with Charlie Evans over a year ago, so he seems like an upperclassman in a field of plebes. However, it’s true that he debuted for BG East in Tag Team Torture 19 and then followed up in The Great Outdoors 2. Like Chase, Charlie did me the honor of granting me a newbie interview, and he had me rolling on the floor laughing. Also like Chase, Charlie is a devoted fan of pro wrestling as an institution. He knows the assets and liabilities he brings into a match, and he has a clear plan for using them both to his advantage. His earnestness and forthrightness have quickly earned him a fan following, and I suspect they very well could earn him a nod for Best Babyface in coming years.  He takes a beating like no one else in this race, which could foreshadow some time in jobber purgatory in the near future, but honestly, I think Charlie’s fullest potential would be to take his super sexy, super lightweight body and slay some giants. He’s smooth and ginger to Nino’s hirsute and Mediterranean, so perhaps there may not be vote splitting there, after all. He has a solid social media presence already, which definitely could play into his favor. I still think he’s a long shot to pull ahead of Chase, Calvin and Beaux, but what do I know?

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Payton Meadows

Okay, this will be the last time I say how delighted I am not be the only one captivated by gorgeous newbie Payton Meadows. His debut came in Undagear 25 early in the year, and his follow up occurred late in the year in Undagear 26. I know there’s a huge (you might say, swelling) base of fans for the drop dead gorgeous underwear model variety of wrestler like Payton. If you switch from still frame to video evidence, you’ll discover he is even sexier in motion. And as long as you have the volume on, you’ll also discover that he is a hilarious smart ass.  There’s something extra sexy about even classic underground wrestling tropes delivered with a sultry, French Canadian accent, and happily, this clever hottie doesn’t just stick with the classics. If you’re committed to vote for the muscley pin-up boy type, but don’t like them hairy, then toss Calvin aside and saddle up with Team Payton. Even though pretty is so often king, I think Payton is a long shot for this title because his actual debut didn’t generate nearly as much buzz as his follow up, and I just don’t think the underwear model fans have quite fully discovered the magic that is Payton. Nonetheless, I’m praying to the homoerotic wrestling gods that 2017 is an even bigger year for him, and we get to see that phenomenal body, magnificent ass, and razor sharp wit in action much, much more.

So that’s my take on these categories. Don’t hate me if you disagree. Just make a compelling case for your picks in the comments below.

Best of 2016

I had every intention of posting some more niche categories for you to chime in on as we look back on the best of homoerotic wrestling for 2016. But alas, time and tide await for no man. The clock has nearly run out on 2016, and probably not a second too soon. So instead of polling the readers, I’m just going to put forth a few of my own personal picks for the best in homoerotic wrestling in a few more categories almost certain not to show up in any official year end fan polls.

 

Best Back

Fuck, I love a big, broad, thickly muscled back. I suppose a lot of guys probably don’t think of the back as a particularly lust worthy. I, on the other hand, think a hot, sexy back is immense value added. It seems far too often neglected by the gym bunny crowd, making a truly gorgeous, crafted classic V and wide wing span that much more notable. Again, for my tastes, there are mechanics involved, like proportion, shape, and thickness, but that last, little, hard-to-articulate aesthetic comes down to whether a back makes me ache to slap down a massive load across the expanse of it. So, as with everything, it’s about what it inspires in me as much as any particular objective, measurable quality that we could all agree on.  My top three favorite backs in 2016, in reverse order, are as follows:

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Lon Dumont

2nd runner up is Lon Dumont. So much has been said about Lon’s phenomenal abs, and deservedly so. But damn, that back is a work of art! I would love to see 2017 be the year that opponents climb into the ring with Lon and acknowledge what a hot, rocking body this magnificent muscleman possesses, and fuck, that back should be on the list of things for an opponent with taste to admire.

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Van Skyler

1st runner up for me is BG East’s muscleboy Van Skyler. He’s a dizzyingly sexy fantasyman from the front, sure, but fuck, that gorgeous back could be more perfect only with a stream of cum painted across it.

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Scrappy

I don’t have access to better pics, but trust me, Thunder’s Arena’s Scrappy has a magnificent back. His perfect V points like an arrow that supremely fuckable ass. He’s phenomenal to watch wrestle. The attitude, the power, the beauty from every angle. But my heart rate spikes every time I see his best side. Scrappy has his admirers, clearly, but I have think that he’s one of the most underrated athletes in the homoerotic wrestling industry. He’s a handsome fucker with some sweet mat skills, but I’m waiting for him to just turn around, extend that lat spread and flex those glutes, and bring the right opponent to his knees.

 

Best Tag Team.

There were precious few tag team matches in homoerotic wrestling in 2016. A producer once told me that tag team matches are few and far between because it’s just too much of a pain in the ass coordinating 4 different schedules (plus the production crew). So they’re a rare treat that I, personally, enjoy immensely. So here are my top 3 favorite tag teams in 2016, picked out of some inexact formula of ring skills, beauty, teamwork and chemistry, with just a little of that extra added allure of making we want to join them in a 3 way (and I’m not strictly talking wrestling now).

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Zack Johnathan (aka Z-Man) and Austin Cooper

2nd runner ups for me were the fascinating pairing of two sensational, iconic figures in homoerotic wrestling, Z-Man and Austin Cooper, teaming up for Rock Hard Wrestling in All-Star Brawl. I’m not convinced that they have a ton of chemistry when working together, but two hot, sexy stars this big and this popular make a sensationally sexy pairing.

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Raving Savages Zach Reno and Matt Blakewood

1st runner ups, and thus first in line for me to climb into a petite, muscle packed, loin clothed sandwich with, are Wrestle4Hire’s Ravaging Savages, namely Zach Reno and Matt Blakewood. These bearded badasses were a thrilling surprise for me in their magnificent take down of behemoth muscle giant Mark Muscle. Despite pulling off some fabulously coordinated double teaming, I think they are just a little unequally yoked, as evidenced by Matt having to turn alpha and order Zach around a bit to finally finish off their superhuman opponent. But holy fuck, these micro beasts were a sensational turn on for me in 2016.

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Team All-Americans – Rookie Charlie Evans and veteran Christian Taylor

In what has to be the hottest, most entertaining tag team match in homoerotic wrestling this year (this decade?), ginger newbie Charlie Evans joined forces with fantasy veteran Christian Taylor to bring down the house in Tag Team Torture 19. Their opponents, newbie Chase Addams and Trophy Boy Ty Alexander, could have totally taken this award, if their out of control vanities hadn’t set them on a path to self-destruction from the start. What Team Vanity lacked in teamwork and coordination, Team All-Americans excelled at. This was such a fabulous narrative of earnest babyfaces versus narcissistic heels, with the juicy melodrama of the upstanding All-Americans suffering heaping loads of underhanded brutality, and yet enduring, having each others backs, and through raw skill, will, and teamwork staying in the fray long enough for their egomaniacal opponents to make one too many mistakes. I would pay a premium for those dick selfies they snapped with Team Vanity’s phones. And absolutely, if there’s a tag team I’d most want to join for a rip and strip, baby oiled menage a trois, in 2016, it’s Team Vanity.

 

Best Gear

I’ve had some extensive conversations with Ty Alexander about the dangerous waters of expressing strong opinions about gear. I’m no Joan Rivers, and I hardly claim any particular expertise in fashion. But I definitely know when a particular gear choice does NOT do it for me. And, occasionally, I think to myself, that hunk was made to wear that! As with everything, there are mechanical factors that go into my estimation of gear, like fit, color, and complexion. But in this case, that hard to describe, major component of what I like has to do with me deciding, at least momentarily, that a wrestler actually may be even sexier in this particular gear than out of it (trust me, that’s a rare conclusion for me). Well, at least I think to myself that I’d like to see him in it before ripping it off of him. In any case, what I think may be the most sensational gear choices of 2016 are as follows.

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Ty Alexander

2nd runner up is Trophy Boy Ty Alexander. To say that a pair of trunks look like they were made to be worn by a wrestler is, quite literally, the truth when it comes to fashion-obsessed Ty. He has an immense collection of custom made wrestling outfits that he showed off in 2016. Possibly my favorite were the opal trunks he wore in his grudge match against fleeting tag team partner Chase Addams in Tag Team Torture 19. Lush fit, beautiful contrast with Ty’s all-over tan, and generously providing reading material for when he plants that ass on Chase’s face. They tell a story all on their own, which, considering Ty’s panache for storytelling in the ring, adds compelling nuance and subtext to a match.

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Jobe Zander

I let my attention wander away from Jobe Zander for a while, but suddenly, in 2016, I took another look and discovered a whole new man. I’m assuming there was some nefarious transaction with Satan involved, or perhaps a genie in a bottle, to transform Jobe into the ripped sex god he suddenly is today. However it happened, I was blown away by the super-low-rise, sky blue banana hammock he wore this summer in Can-Am’s Decrotchery 14. His hot, rock hard glutes look insanely sensational, and Jobe’s masterpiece is framed like the work of art it is. The seaming, the gorgeously tight outline of his monster cock… everything about these trunks scream Jobe. A fashion critique would likely note that the pouch pulls away from his inner thigh just a fraction as a result of a fraction too little fabric to manage to cover his famously gargantuan python. But who the fuck are we kidding. That tiny gap, the shadowed space stretched too tight at the side of his crotch, is exactly what makes this gear perfection.

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My choice for Best Gear in 2016 is Rafael Valmor from BG East’s Fan Fantasy 4. Honestly, Rafael had an unfair advantage, considering Kieran Dunne made him try out about half a dozen pairs of trunks before acknowledging the obvious truth that these baby blue square cut swim trunks achieved absolute perfection. The combination of that baby blue against his bronzed, Brazilian body is so fucking lovely! But it’s the cut that boggles my mind. I swear it looks like these trunks were sewn together right on his body. From the back, they dip exactly to the top of his ass crack, squeezing each gorgeous ass cheek like loving friend. From the front, they suck to his muscled, upper thighs, and then leave exactly enough acreage to let his mouthwatering bulge stick out just right. I know, I know, I keep using the word “perfection” too often in this category, but I can think of no other description for Rafael’s gear here. Kieran agrees with me here. Mouthwatering, aesthetic, masterful engineering, absolute perfection.

 

Best Wrestling Character

I think of this last category like picking Miss Congeniality, only most of the time, the most compelling, sexiest wrestling personalities in homoerotic wrestling are decidedly uncongenial. As a fan, I talk about this aspect of wrestling often, the sell, not just of any particular move or hold, but of the wrestling story as a whole. There are plenty of homoerotic wrestling matches that seem to pop up out of nowhere, with the combatants’ motivation for stripping down to their barest essentials and beating the living fuck out of each other remaining mostly a mystery. But there are some sensationally entertaining hunks on the scene who absolutely emote. They set the table for us, sometimes with dialogue and explicit backstory, but often with just a smirk and a sneer. I love wrestlers who can convince me that they aren’t just waiting to clock out, but that they’re motivated and passionate about working up a sweat and settling some score. This is less about being a heel or a babyface or a jobber, but about conveying the virtual world in which hot hunks in the briefest of trunks defy gravity, obliterate the conventions of common decency, and pit nothing but their bodies and cunning against one another for a reason. That’s fucking sexy as hell for me. So here are my top 3 wrestling personalities who did all of that the best in 2016.

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Aryx Quinn

I’ve missed seeing more of Aryx Quinn in homoerotic wrestling lately, but even showing up relatively rarely, he tears apart the competition in body and soul. As my 2nd runner up for best wrestling character, Aryx could easily drive fans wild with just that rocking body and those incredibly devastating wresting skills. And yet, every time he shows up, he brings that sexy as fuck, sneering, domineering, trash talking attitude that typically conveys a crystal clear motivation to rip an opponent apart in order to fuck them senseless in victory. I’d argue there’s no other wrestler in competition today who inhabits quite the wrestling character that he does with such supreme success.

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Kid Karisma

My 2nd runner up for Best Wrestling Character is Kid Karisma. Kid K consistently conveys a transparent motivation for throwing down, built on several interlocking factors. He loves the way he looks, glistening with sweat and showing off his magnificent muscles, having beaten an opponent to submission and flexing over top of him. He clearly loves the way it feels, possessing another man, bending and breaking him, milking whimpers and screams out of him. Kid K sells a particularly sweet vintage of sadism without a hint of maleficence about it that’s incredibly novel and compelling. And, at least 2 times out of 3, he wrestles because it turns him on. So often, after ripping a lucky bastard apart piece by piece, you’ll catch Kid Karisma climbing on top, saddling up, and smacking down a lusty, passionate kiss. Both in his wrestling work and in conversation, he consistently comes across as a hearty partier, a prankster and a smart ass, who wrestles for the sheer pleasure of it.

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Matt Thrasher

Best Wrestling Character in 2016 for my tastes was Matt Thrasher. Again, like Aryx and Kid Karisma, Matt inhabits a relatively unique persona in the business, I think. Particularly in his work for Muscle Domination Wrestling, Matt is the Daddy’s Home franchise. He’s gorgeous, of course, but he absolutely owns the salt ‘n’ pepper daddy beat in today’s industry. Youngsters of all shapes and sizes keep throwing themselves in his way, calling him old, calling him grandpa. And with patience born of experience, Matt chuckles, and then turns the ageist bullshit on its head by beating the living fuck out of every ankle biter he meets. He’s bulging and hairy and sweats like a Margarita in August, but its the way he carries that off in his seasoned, savory picking apart of young bucks that makes him such a phenomenal character. He’s never impulsive. He’s deliberate and decisive. And he persistently possesses the sexy, compelling character motivation of crushing the dreams of youth as he turns cocky kids into his sniveling bitches.

So those are my picks for some of the aspects of homoerotic wrestling that I, personally, key off of, but which don’t tend to find their way into end of year fan polls. Feel free to praise any wrestlers who you’d have picked for these (or any other) category in the comments below.  And happy new year, people. Here’s to a hope and prayer to the homoerotic wrestling gods that we all survive 2017 with a few civil liberties left.