The Best 4Hire

Wrestler4Hire has ventured into the year-end fan poll territory. They have 10 categories for you to choose from.  You can register your vote here. I’m less familiar with the full catalog at W4H, so my recommendations are likely less informed than many other W4H fans. But you know me. I always have opinions. Here are your W4H Best of 2017 choices.

Best Heel

  • Guido Genatto
  • Ronnie Pearl
  • Nick Justice
  • Dr. X
  • Jobe Zander
  • Garrett Thomas
  • Dick Rick
  • Lon Dumont

 

16221.jpg

I’ve seen all of these contenders in action, and of course I have my favorites. But it will likely come as no surprise to regular readers that I’m voting for Lon Dumont.

Best Jobber

  • Black Starr
  • Zach Reno
  • Cam Zagucci
  • Alex Oliver
  • Jonny Jober
  • Tyler Royce
  • Cal Bennett
  • Chet Chastain

AlexOliver_ZachReno33.jpg

I have seen all of these guys, though not in 2017 W4H matches. Just going with my gut, though, I’m always a big fan of Alex Oliver. His gorgeous ass gets my vote.

Top Newcomer

  • CJ Renik
  • Joey Nux
  • Christian Thorn
  • Cali Boy
  • Scrappy
  • Jax Brewer
  • Tyler Royce
  • Marco Thunder
  • Jaxton Wheeler
  • Ricky Vegas
  • Trenton Ducati
  • Blake Starr
  • Jayden Mayne
  • Austin Tyler
  • Elite Eliot

Marco_Fotor.jpg

First of all… 15 nominations!? There’s some executive leadership needed in order to get this behemoth under control. I have not seen all of these guys (there are fucking 15 of them, after all), but I have seen most. It’s a close all for me between Marco and Elite Eliot. I’ll probably vote for Marco, though.

Favorite Ring Match

  • Ace Owens vs. Elite Eliot
  • Dashing Dustin vs. Dr. X
  • Cameron vs. Ace Owens vs. Nick Justice
  • Tyler Royce vs. Hugh Hunter
  • Cameron vs. Ty Alexander
  • Cal Bennett vs. Elite Eliot
  • Marco Thunder vs. Rendell Zebu
  • Tyler Royce vs. Cam Zagucci
  • Cal Bennett vs. Brad Barnes
  • Elite Eliot vs. Garrett Thomas
  • Nathan FX vs. Garrett Thomas
  • Cameron vs. Jonny Jobber

Cameron_TyAlexander_Wrestlers4Hire_720p_HD_7.jpg

I saw only a couple of these matches, so my opinion is based on incomplete data and a lot of just who I like, rather than a studied comparison of the specific matches. With that in mind, I’ll vote for Ty and Cameron.

Favorite Mat Match

  • Nathan VX vs. Cal Bennett
  • Cameron vs. Jaxton Wheeler
  • Chase LaChance vs. Black Starr
  • Jobe Zander vs. Marco Thunder
  • Cam Zagucci vs. Austin Tyler
  • Cal Bennett vs. Zacky Darlin
  • Cameron vs. Jax Brewer
  • Tyler Royce vs. Jobe Zander

Holy shit, I saw none of these matches. I’ve got nothing worthwhile to contribute to your deliberation. Just based on who I like, I’ll vote for Cameron and Jax Brewer.

Best Butt

  • Cameron
  • Chace LaChance
  • Marco Thunder
  • Braad Barnes
  • Austin Cooper
  • Z-Man
  • Jax Brewer
  • Tyler Royce
  • Cal Bennett

W4HMarcoBlakeButt.jpg

I’m supposed to say company CEO Cameron, but I’m going to say Marco.

Hottest Body

  • Cal Bennett
  • Chace LaChance
  • Marco Thunder
  • Scrappy
  • Blake Starr
  • KARN
  • Austin Cooper
  • Elite Eliot
  • Braden Charron
  • Ricky Vegas

Okay, so finally I have a ton of reasonably well-informed opinions. Chace has won this title over at BG East two years ago. I’m seriously hot for Marco, Scrappy, and Eliot. But I’m voting for Marco.

Best Smile

  • Cam Zagucci
  • Matty O’Boy
  • Blake Starr
  • Cameron
  • Lane Hartley
  • Austin Cooper
  • Zacky Darlin
  • Cal Bennett
  • Marco Thunder
  • Nick Sparx

I like this category a lot. Hands down, most crotch-warming smile belongs to Blake Starr in this bunch.

Best Arms

  • Zach Altovito
  • Jax Brewer
  • Z-Man
  • Austin Cooper
  • Christian Thorn
  • KARN
  • Maverick
  • Braden Charron
  • Cal Bennett

jaxbrewer.jpg

Another great category. Considering forearms as well as upper arms, I’m casting my vote for Jax Brewer. Fuck, I love his arms.

Future Champion

  • Garrett Thomas
  • Joey Nux
  • Ronnie Pearl
  • Jax Brewer
  • Austin Cooper
  • Marco Thunder
  • Cal Bennett
  • BradBarnes
  • Ace Owens
  • Scrappy
  • Elite Eliot

I’m not really sure how to interpret this category. Future champion of what? Does W4H have a championship in contention? Future indy pro champion material? So many questions. The validity of the question is weak, but I’ll still vote for a burning favorite wrestler here, Elite Eliot.

Sexiest Nipples

Nary the briefest mention of awarding the wrestler with the sexiest nipples shows up elsewhere in my homoerotic wrestling travels. Clearly, this blog is serving the public good by drawing our attention to try to identify which wrestlers sported the sexiest nipples in the business in 2017.

Transparently, this is the most idiosyncratic category of all. What you might find attractive or sexy in a man’s nipples very well may not be what I find sexy. But that’s really the point of all of this. Tastes vary. Big muscles, small muscles. Six packs, bellies. Skill, power. The beauty of this industry is that it tweaks so many different tastes. Despite the most adamant arguments that I’ve gotten something objectively wrong in blogging about what I find attractive or a turn on, it’s all subjective. So perhaps this category is just an object lesson. Feel free to comment about the nipples that you find sexiest. As for me, the list looks like this…

0204_lg.jpg

My third favorite pair of nipples on a wrestler this year belong to BG East’s reigning kissing king, Christian Taylor. There’s something particularly fitting about his beautiful half dollars. Everything about Christian is expansive and broad, and his lush, pinchable nips are perfectly proportioned to his long, lean, extravagant body.  Since the kissing king can’t actually kiss his own nipples, I hope Christian knows that I’m available anytime for that task.

0501_lg.jpg

In second place is last year’s sexiest nipples winner, Chase Addams. Chase’s headlights yet again demand attention. His ring work thus far has been relatively understated in explicitly erotic heat. It simmers, mind you, but we’ve only gotten subtle glimpses of the erotic motivations that inspire this baby heel to brutality. His eye catching nipples, though, make every match sexually provocative for me. I’m looking forward to the day that we see someone twist those dials with a tongue and a whole lot of passion.

Marco_Fotor.jpg

The number one pair of the sexiest nipples in homoerotic wrestling, as far as I’m concerned, this year go to Marco of Thunder’s Arena fame and, more recently, Wrestler4Hire. It’s likely easy to overlook these tasty morsels because Marco is such a physical specimen of beauty in every part and parcel. But give me a half a day to worship this hunk’s body, and I guarantee you I’d be drawn again and again to taste these gorgeous beauties. Certainly, they aren’t Marco’s most impressive feature, by far. But in a world of generic, dime size nubs, his nipples stand out.

Honorable mentions for best nipples to make an appearance in 2017 wrestling action include Mason Brooks (BGE), Cole Cassidy (BGE), Max Ryder (UCW), Zip Zarella (BGE), and Cam Zagucci (Wrestler4Hire, aka Luke Lonza at BGE).

Feel free to muse both about the qualities that make nipples sexy to you, as well as your personal picks for the sexiest nipples in wrestling.

Boxes

It’s taken a few weeks, but I’m thrilled to report that I’ve relocated chez Bard to greener pastures. My life is still mostly in boxes, but internet is up an running, so all is right with the world again. I’ve had the opportunity to watch just a little homoerotic wrestling during the transition, and I’ve got some exciting features and interviews in the pipeline. For today, though, I’ll just call out the eye catching new release teasers that have been making me salivate.  As I’ve mused about before, there’s something a little magical about that liminal time between the first glimpse of marketing of new homoerotic wrestling matches and the moment of putting eyes on the product itself.  I’m still consuming about 75% of my wrestling in DVD format, so that enticing moment of promise and anticipation can stretch at least a few days as the US Postal Service makes its way to my door (happily, that distance is considerably shorter for most of my favorite wrestling producers after this last move). Sometimes the marketing inspires my imagination in ways that the actual product never quite matches, but sometimes I’m particularly pleased to be caught by surprise, thrown a twist, or simply served up exactly the titillating, provocative wrestling fare that my heart desired.  In the last couple of weeks, the following new releases have been tweaking my fantasies, and being between addresses has meant the opportunity to suck down that gratification has been even more delayed.  What follows are the tried and true favorites of mine, and every match mentioned below features a hunk I’ve named homoerotic wrestler of the month in the past. I’m sure you’ll see reviews of at least some of these in the coming weeks as I settle into my new home and new routine, but for now, just the first glimpses catching my eye.

0103_lg.jpg
Christian Taylor and Charlie Evans tag up in Tag Team Torture 19

First of all, this tag team in the opening match of Tag Team Torture 19 is spinning me right round.  I haven’t felt a good scratching of my ongoing itch for hot, erotic tag team wrestling in a long time, and the pairing of sensationally handsome and ripped veteran Christian Taylor (former homoerotic wrestler of the month around here) with lovely, lithe newbie and fan of neverland, Charlie Evans, could be just what the doctor ordered.

0106_lg.jpg
Team Vanity: Ty Alexander & Charlie Evans

Increasing my anticipation of this Tag Team Torture 19 match are Christian and Charlie’s opponents. Of course, I sit up and take notice when one of my boybanders, Ty Alexander, climbs into the ring, looking fitter and finer than ever. But his fan-turned-tag partner Chase Addams could very well need to join the band. Newbie heels are are a hard sell for me, though, so the jury is out as to whether the new kid’s marketed phenomenal attitude and ring skills will make me want to throw my underwear at him.

0301_lg.jpg
Matt Thrasher debuts as tag team partner for Brute Baynard

Sticking with TTT19 for just a tad longer, don’t think it escaped my notice that daddy-of-my-dreams and former HWOTM Matt Thrasher has made his BG East debut!  I’ve fallen deep for daddy Matt since the first glimpse I got of him at MDW. I’m rigid with anticipation of what BGE might make of this salt and pepper muscleman.

0107_lg.jpg

Two boybanders in one match!?  Ah, hell yes! You’d think Ring Releases 4 was a custom match I ordered, featuring my long time infatuation Drake Marcos and heel pup Kayden Keller. Drake keeps begging for another shot at taking me on in the ring, so I’m always keenly interested in watching the endless ways that his opponents break him apart piece by piece. I have high expectations that Kayden’s work here will be inspiring and devastating.

0201_lg.jpg
Denny Cartier can do no wrong!

I’m also a Denny Cartier fanatic. I’ve named him homoerotic wrestler of the month at least twice that I can remember off the top of my head. There’s something raw and real about Denny, with a look that makes me weak in the knees and mat wrestling skills that bring me at full attention every fucking time. I don’t know if Chace LaChance is too much muscle and ego to handle, but damn, I’m eager to see Denny give it a go.

0302_lg.jpg
JJ’s got the goods.

Also from Chace’s Spotlight, Jake Jenkins. Need I say more? I’ve been on team Jake from the start, and I’ve never failed to be fully satisfied and completely exhausted with every match I’ve seen of his. He has a dismal record in the BG East ring, making me worry about his prospects against Chace is this match, but his size and acrobatics combined with Chace’s muscle mass, leaves me anticipating a lot of gasping, awe and orgasms.

4L6A3148.jpg
Eagle can land on me anytime!

I’ve been off the Thunder’s Arena rotation for a while now, but the tempting teaser of another look at drop-dead gorgeous Eagle stomping the living shit out of Z-Man is one of a couple of strong motivators for climbing back into the arena again. Eagle was one of the rare newbies to convince me to make him homoerotic wrestler of the month, and I’m wanting to see what the sophomore year has in store for the beefcake.

4L6A9826_2b799031-df51-4c9d-a8a2-ce277a777531.jpg

The other motivator is the prospect of sampling Thunder’s new babyface bodybuilder Steel up against fitter than ever (how is that even possible!?) Marco, yet another HWOTM. Guys built as magnificently as Steel have a dismal track record when it comes to homoerotic wrestling, in my book at least. I still hold out hope for a second coming of Steve Sterling, a juicy, impeccably crafted bodybuilder who really takes to the genre with enthusiasm and promise. Even if he’s just eye candy, he’s in phenomenal hands in this match.

Can’t wait to dig in, and of course I’ll let you know what I think (as if you could stop me). It’ll probably still be a little while of unpacking and settling in before I hit my stride here again, but I’m looking forward to comparing notes with you soon.

Fantasy League

Once upon a time, I was infatuated with two particular homoerotic wrestlers who, sadly, competed exclusively on opposite coasts. The title of my overall favorite homoerotic wrestler was traded back and forth between instant heartthrob Mitch Colby, almost exclusively wrestling with BG East, and sex gladiator Rusty Stevens, who tore up the mats for Can-Am and Naked Kombat. So I mused openly about the unlikely prospects of seeing the two of them go head to head, giving my torn, torn heart a side by side, in the moment, man on man comparison to tip the scales conclusively one direction or the other.

1423_lg.jpg
Mitch Colby finally got his hands all over loudmouth, smartass muscle hunk Rusty Stevens in The Breaking Point.
And then, like manna from heaven, BG East released The Breaking Point, pitting my two top infatuations against one another in a mat battle to the naked, orgasmic finish (and I’m not just talking about me). So I know it can happen. The franchise players who appear unlikely to ever cross paths can, on occasion, step across the lines that so arbitrarily divide the homoerotic wrestling universe into competing production camps. And, of course, some wrestlers cross those lines seemingly daily, competing across the country, across multiple platforms, sometimes meeting up against foes they faced in other settings.  But there are some wrestlers, often the ones I’m most infatuated with, who appear to stick to their well-worn paths.  So I don’t dismiss the possibility entirely, but I know that for many franchise players, the chances of seeing them face off against major competitors for other franchises are slim.

mk.png
Thunder’s Arena Champ Marco and BG East wild child Kid Karisma
So today I’m musing about “what if.”  In this case, what if two franchise players from competing productions were to face off.  Namely, between Thunder’s Arena’s champ Marco and BG East’s notorious wild child bad boy Kid Karisma, who would flex in final victory over his wasted foe once all was said and done?

mk3.png
Marco and Kid Karisma, both flexed for your pleasure
I like this pairing for many reasons.  For one, I’m a big, big fan of both muscle hunks.  Marco was my homoerotic wrestler of the month this past May, and Kid K has been homoerotic wrestler of the month on 3 occasions, as well as owning the title of my overall favorite homoerotic wrestler for longer than anyone else. But the allure of seeing these two square off is much more than just about me.

mk2.png
Marco – 5’8″, 180 lbs versus Kid Karisma – 5’5″, 170 pounds
They’re closely matched in size. They’re both listed at 5’8″ with Marco about 10 pounds of heavier. That all adds up, in my mind, to Kid K packing on denser, more ripped muscles. If Kid K has a strength advantage, arguably Marco may have an advantage in wrestling technique, at least as far as mat wrestling goes. In a pro ring, Kid K appears to have a boatload more experience. The margins are razor thin in all of these contrasts, though, and I wouldn’t be surprised to be completely surprised by whatever might unfold should these two meet in the ring or on the mats.

mk4.png
Both fantasymen are much larger than life
What really moves me most about this hypothetical and unlikely face off is the personalities involved, however. Both of these magnificent specimens are raging smart asses. They play with their food. They taunt and torment. Both studs end up on top much more often than not, and they revel in lording it over their crushed opponents. Both hunks pay generous and often appreciative attention to the sexy physiques of their doomed foes.  And both musclemen make me laugh, gasp, and hard with similar portfolios of beauty, power, and wit.

Casual readers can weigh in on who you see as more likely to destroy the other, Marco or Kid Karisma.  Serious fans can weigh in in the comments section as to how you see this playing out. In the BGE ring?  On the Thunder’s mats? Competitive? Squash? Finishers?  Let me know how your fantasies and mine line up.

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Year

Hopefully we’ll have an opportunity to vote on the BG East year end Bestie awards soon. In the mean time, I made my own selections of the wrestlers that grabbed me hardest month by month (I skipped a couple months because life just keeps me from it every so often). My homoerotic wrestler of the month title is a difficult call to make most months. I’m turned on by so much of the fine new releases that I enjoy on a regular basis. But of the matches I’ve seen, the HWOTM title gives me a short list of the wrestlers I enjoyed most over the year.

Not that these are necessarily my top picks of the year.  There’s probably some way to do a statistical analysis on the between group versus within group variances (Jose can probably tell us). Some months may present a tighter, higher caliber field than others to choose from, so a “loser” on any given month might have beat the fuck out of a winner in a different month.  But I think my top wrestler in a new release in 2015 is guaranteed to be among the 10 HWOTM I called out this year, even if the runner-up might not be.

Anyhow, statistics and logic problems aside, before I can talk about the 10 HWOTM title holders in 2015, I need to anoint a December title holder.  It’s a day early, but I’m going ahead and calling the competition for which wrestler turned me on hardest in a December new release. The last piece of the puzzle and the reigning HWOTM as we move into the new year is…

 

0106_lg

…big, bulging, buff, beautiful, blond, babyface, blue-eyed beefcake, Biff Farrell.

0108_lg.jpg
Biff turns thoughtful sizing up the competition.

Frankly, it was a very close call as to whether it was Biff or his opponent, the titular character in The Comeback 2: Joe Mazetti, who turned me on hardest. Joe gets the nostalgia vote, and he sensationally sells the story of a classic heel who can’t, despite his best intentions, turn over the new leaf he so much longs to. Just the thrill of getting to see Joe looking so fucking huge, fit, and fierce is incredibly satisfying, much less getting to see Joe wrestle like he never left the ring in the first place.

h0115_lg.jpg
Biff savors the taste of making a man suffer between his thighs.

But Biff narrowly rips the title out of Joe’s hands the moment he drops the heel daddy with a sucker shot to the gut and lords it all over a writhing, wriggling Joe, laughing and sneering with Joe’s nogging crushed like a tin can between Biff’s gargantuan thighs. This is a whole new Biff. This is a hungry, brutal, vicious Biff, with a big, bulging sadistic button sticking out and snarling Joe punching that button with abandon.

0119_lg.jpg
Biff roars to life in The Comeback 2

Biff is such an impressive hunk of man. It’s a joy, and just a little relief, to see his personality come through as 3-D as his bulging, beautiful muscles do. True, the Comeback king puts the buff kid out cold before all is said and done, but it’s that contemptuous, sadistic streak shining through in Biff’s riding time that makes me take a 2nd, 3rd, and 4th look at him as officially graduating from the ranks of the rookies. He plays with and plays off Joe’s larger than life delivery. Gorgeous as fuck, built like a brick house, and now with character complexity and suspense, Biff came on way, way strong to finish 2015.

0105_lg.jpg
Biff Farrell is the total package and my homoerotic wrestler of the month.

So somewhere in the pack of my 2015 HWOTM winners, there must be a homoerotic wrestler of the year (HWOTY).  I know these are my picks, and it’s all about who turned me on month to month, but seriously, I want to know. Who do you think should be neverland’s HWOTY? Just to warm up for the BG East Besties, vote below for the neverland homoerotic wrestler of the year.

0301_lg.jpg
February 2015 – Jonny Firestorm in BG East’s Fan Fantasy 2
stefan2.png
March 2015 – Stefan Ramos in Muscle Domination Wrestling’s Six Pack Bash 7
0103_lg-1.jpg
April 2015 – Lon Dumont starring in BG East’s Wrestler Spotlight: Lon Dumont
IMG_8031.jpg
May 2015 – Marco starring in Thunder’s Arena’s Mat Wars 47
0401_lg-1.jpg
June 2015 – Marco Carlow starring in BG East’s Undagear 23
ty.jpg
July 2015 – Ty Alexander starring in Jonny Firestorm’s Custom Combat
0401_lg.jpg
August 2015 – Logan Vaughn starring in BG East’s Florida Fights 5
0103_lg.jpg
October 2015 – Kayden Keller starring in BG East’s Ring Releases 2
Frey Eagle TV - 8 of 200.jpg
November 2015 – Eagle starring Thunder’s Arena’s exclusive Black Friday release of Frey vs. Eagle
0405_lg.jpg
December 2015 – Biff Farrell starring in BG East’s The Comeback 2: Joe Mazetti.

Nuts and Bolt

Although my life has hovered around all new levels of bat shit crazy lately, I have relied on some recreational viewing of homoerotic wrestling to keep me entertained, and relieve a whole lot of stress. Thunder’s Arena recetly announced that new babyface bon bon Bolt has taken a commanding lead in their sales lately, so I hunkered down with former HWOTM Marco and Bolt in No Holds Barred 49 to see what all the fuss is about.

bolt
Bolt is young and hung!

Okay, I get it. I mean, no, Bolt isn’t the second coming of Brad Rochelle exactly, though I think he hits similar notes. He’s seriously young, and he’s both painfully pretty and unmistakably masculine at the same time. In other companies, he’d be a breakout star of the “Fantasymen” genre, almost definitely fitting equally well on a homoerotic wrestling mat and a go-go boy pole. He’s a tasty boy-next-door with sweet muscles, hairy armpits, and (be prepared to do a double take) a massive bulge making that blue singlet’s pouch hang low.  Miss the pouch?  No worries. The camera helpfully zooms in to let you study the hinted at man meat packaged underneath.

bolt10
The star of the match: Bolt’s bolt.

When the porn-star-ready newbie encounters Marco on the mat in a low cut red singlet, there’s that fratbro give and take that is Thunder’s Arena’s bread and butter. Dripping with Southern gentility and a heat-stroked slow drawl, Bolt says he’s wrestling today to represent all amateur wrestlers everywhere. Marco shrugs those massive, muscled shoulders of his and reminds the newbie that he’s here representing Thunders. In other words, buckle up boys, this is going to be an initiation of a naive newbie at the hands of a seasoned homoerotic fan favorite.

bolt6
“We may be small, big we’re big at the same time.”

“I’m here to tear you up!” Bolt boasts when Marco is predictably underwhelmed by the pretty new flavor of the week.  The veteran points out that he has a distinct weight advantage over the rookie. In response, Bolt grabs that massive bulge and tugs on it hard. Fuck, that’s one big, hefty handful of newbie! “We may be small, but we’re big at the same time!” the rook slyly boasts about the relative size of his body to his eye catching pouch.

bolt2
Marco wastes no time getting his hands on Bolt’s nuts and bolt.

So yeah, there’s the predictable innocence spoiled narrative here.  They scramble on the mat. Bolt is seductively fast and confident. Marco is steady as a rock and waits for just the right moment to snap his tree trunks around the newbie’s head.  Just to properly say hello, he also clamps on a ball claw, which I’m guessing is mostly just to test out whether that improbably massive mountain is all meat or some stuffing. My take is that’s 100% grade-A rookie meat by the look it and the sound of Bolt’s gasping whimpers.

bolt15
So, so much camera love for Bolt’s bulge!

“You grab my dick!?” Bolt snarls, grabbing Marco back and then slapping him into bodyscissors.  That plaintive disbelief in his voice sort of pisses off.  Of course he fucking grabbed your dick, newbie.  99% of the audience is gay men. You know that.  He knows that. We know you know that.  You’ve been grabbing that anaconda stuffed in your pouch, shoving it in Marco’s face, bragging about it from the start. Shut the fuck up and do this thing.

bolt3
Bolt gets a taste of Marco’s signature move.

“Did they warn you about my signature move?” Marco asks, sliding onto Bolt’s bulging chest in a schoolboy pin.  He pulls newbie’s face hard into his balls, and here’s where Bolt sort of starts to redeem himself just a little for me.  The kid laughs, somehow not exactly appalled, maybe just a little panicked, maybe just little intrigued.  The obligatory pass at being shocked and offended is quickly dispensed with, and, well, yeah. Getting your face shoved in Marco’s crotch should make you somewhere in the middle of panicked, intrigued, and laughing with embarrassment.  You’re getting owned, pretty boy. So thanks for skipping the gay panic defense and just enjoy the ride about 1/10th as much as I am enjoying watching it.

bolt7
“Why don’t you get yourself another handful?” Marco invites.

As documented many, many times before, Marco is my favorite Thunder’s boy for not shying away from the homoerotic content (mostly subtext, but often pretty fucking explicit double entendre). So it’s pure Marco when Bolt defensively grabs the veteran’s cock to try to claw his way free, then quickly pulls away, like he’s a little shocked at the feel of the python beneath. “Why don’t you get yourself another handful?” Marco invites the kid to sample his meat selection again.

bolt11
Bolt seems to enthusiastically enjoy Marco’s lesson in what makes this homoerotic wrestling.

Somewhere in the scrap, Bolt starts to blossom.  His hands inadvertently claw at Marco’s big, bulging pecs, and the veteran instantly calls attention to the subtext. “You grabbing my chest?” he asks. “Yeah,” he coos seductively. “Feel that. You like that?” And then, with more enthusiasm than any of us had any right to expect, Bolt gushes enthusiastically, “I like it! I like it!”

bolt8
“Kinda big,” Bolt marvels at Marco’s pecs. “I like it!”

Honestly, I doubt either of these body beautiful beefcakes plays for my team. Just a guess, and my gaydar has been known to be off before. But there’s a long and deep tradition of straight boys populating homoerotic wrestling products. And Marco brings Bolt along in one of the innovations at Thunder’s that makes me give them a lot more credit than I used to. They acknowledge the homoeroticism in this moment. They talk about what you and I are thinking, bringing into the foreground the sexual, sensual eroticism of two hot young hunks locked body to body. In an inexplicable break in the action, the two shrug their big shoulders out of their singlets and compare upper bodies. Marco is bigger. No contest. But it’s Bolt treating himself to an eager feel of his opponent’s pecs that make this much more than about size. “Kinda big,” Bolt’s Southern drawl curls the awed compliment out like molasses. “I like it!” the newbie concedes, again with more enthusiasm than I expect. Marco clearly appreciates the Adonis in front of him as well. “Little happy trail,” he grins, pointing at the kid’s flat lower abdomen, “Big package down there!” Marco acknowledges. Yep, that’s what I like about Marco. I don’t ever expect to see him sucking on any guy’s cock, but he’s stone cold unafraid to signal that this is homoerotic fare to you and me. There’s none of that old school “no homo” bullshit that drags too much “homoerotic” wrestling into the self-loathing side of things. Just some hot boys living in the moment and not backing down from acknowledging that all this muscled man-on-man friction is ridiculously sexy.

bolt4
“I LOVE BALLS IN MY FACE!” the rookie screams.

There’s fratboy hijinks as well.  This wouldn’t be Thunder’s without them.  Sitting on the rookie’s face, the newbie’s hot, sweaty bod all wrapped up in a small package, Marco refuses to let him go until he screams the words, “I love balls in my face!”  Trash talk, spanking, taunting schoolboy pins back and forth in less and less gear.  Bolt is always following the veteran’s homoerotic lead, but it’s a tried and true hot lead he’s following.

bolt9
“I’m going to kick your ass,” Bolt whispers hauntingly.

There’s one moment that haunts me just a little from this match.  It comes after an awkward camera cut, so I’m feeling absolutely certain it’s completely scripted. But Bolt climbs on top of his supine hunk opponent, leans in, his lips pressed right up against Marco’s ear, and whispers “I’m going to kick your ass.” Fuck, that whisper is hot. If he’d screamed it or laughed through it, it would’ve been standard fratboy fare. But delivered just that way, in the context of Bolt seeming to grow more enthusiastic the more explicitly Marco draws attention to their hot bodies, that whisper grabs me by the balls.

bolt12
Speaking of getting grabbed by the balls…

Both of these boys have stellar bodies that look better and better the more gear that gets ripped off. There’s a high lickability about Bolt’s baby smooth upper body and ever so lightly hairy peach fuzz legs. And Marco’s flexing, muscled ass… holy shit.  Thunder’s has some of the hottest young physiques in the business, and the attention that both of these beautiful boys pay to each other’s bodies it pitch perfect for the best of what this match has to offer: hot, sweaty, gorgeous bodies.

bolt13
The money shot: Bolt’s popularity in clear focus.

It’s an abrupt knock out finish to the match that brings this all to a close. The moment is sort of apropos of nothing else in the match. It’s sloppy story telling, as far as I’m concerned. It has a little feel of “we’ve got enough action recorded, so wrap this up.”  So I’m a little bitter about that. So much raw material to work with in these two young men. But there’s some big picture perspectives missing.

bolt16
Marco has to adjust his hand placement repeatedly as he goes for this gorilla press.

 

But for what it’s worth, for what it is and what it does, I’m significantly satisfied with Marco vs Bolt. Just like Marco, I really, really want to hear Bolt scream. And just like Bolt, I really, really (really) like the look of Marco’s hot, bulging, big muscles.

marco
Marco knows how to handle nuts and Bolt.

The Big Bad Wolf is Back

Wolf vs Marco 12
The Big, Bad Wolf

Having documented my instant infatuation with Thunder’s Arena’s newbie sensation Wolf, I ponied up for a second helping of the big slab of beefcake. Testing the theory that two great tastes taste great together, I settled on what appears to be Wolf’s debut match, staring down Thunder’s current It-Boy, June’s Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month, smooth, seductive, sexy Marco.

Wolf vs Marco 19-1
Marco stares at Wolf’s crotch, and, I believe, Wolf’s crotch stares back.

Rough & Ready 59 is classic Thunder’s Arena mat wrestling. Wolf is awe inspiring in nothing but those outstandingly over-stretched baby blue and white trunks that never quite successfully manage to cover the muscled expanse of his ass cheeks. Marco is packed tightly inside his lime green and dark blue very briefs and also wearing black wrestling boots. Visually the two are a stunning study in contrasts.  Wolf is 5’11” and listed at 225 pounds, all muscle. Marco is 5’8″ and weighing in a much more mortal 180 pounds, similarly all muscle, just leaner, less massive.  Wolf is groomed just like I like him, his torso and traps covered in tastefully, but not aggressively trimmed hair, whereas Marco is lickably smooth. Wolf has a full, sexy beard unable to disguise an adorably baby face and tantalizing lips. Marco has a few whispy whiskers on the tip of his chin, looking like I did when I was 15 and working on coaxing my peach fuzz into a manly need for a razor. The side by side has already written a fantastic homoerotic wrestling narrative before the boys even lock up. Now, if only they can pull it off…

Wolf vs Marco 21
“I bet your boyfriend lays his penis right here.”

Marco brings his fearless homoerotic trash talk and slaps it down instantly, calling out what you and I have been entranced by from the start, Wolf’s “big hairy tits here.” He even cups the low hanging meat playfully, suggesting that Wolf’s genetics give him almost feminine proportions. Noting the astonishing separation between Wolf’s hairy pecs, Marco presses the side of his hand between them. “I bet your boyfriend lays his penis right there,” he says. He tauntingly wonders out loud if the big rookie has a vagina. Misogyny and mention of the female anatomy can throw cold water on a steamy set up for me, but the supposition is so patently ridiculous, it merely serves to call my attention to Wolf’s pouch. You can see the outline of the head of his cock, stretching to the right like it’s eager to make contact with the gorgeous young pup paying so much attention to Wolf’s bod.

Wolf vs Marco 26
Marco is man enough to pay some attention to his opponent’s magnificent physique.

It’s that explicit attention paid to his opponent’s clearly impressive body that makes Marco such a sensational storyteller on the homoerotic wrestling mats. If he’d tried to ignore this magnificent specimen of muscle in front of him, if he’d not mentioned Wolf’s remarkable pecs, his stunning overall fitness and mass, this would turn the burner on low like so many homoerotic wrestling matches do. But Marco is always so fucking secure in his own masculinity, so pleased with his own awesomely aesthetic proportions, he doesn’t give up an ounce of raw sexiness to pay abundant attention to his opponent’s physique.

Wolf vs Marco 82
Wolf looks like he likes what he sees.

Now here’s where rookies far too often drop the ball. Marco calls him out for having a boyfriend (let’s call it an involuntary outing rather than a homophobic locker room taunt, because there’s a lot more obvious homophobic crap in the industry than this). He draws attention to the rookie’s pecs, fondling them even. He speculates about what the newbie is packing in his trunks. So many rookies just can’t handle that heat. It unsettles them. They act insulted, threatened, turn the narrative to having to defend their masculinity from the homoerotic implications. But fuck yes, Wolf just smiles like he’s eating this shit up. Far from needing to turn to violence in the face of the erotic subtext, I get the impression that the big man just can’t wait to get his paws all over the young pup poking him with a stick. There’s a lot more eagerness than defensiveness, more hunger than anger about the rookie’s response. He’s game, goddamnit! I fucking love this guy!

Wolf vs Marco 24
“You like that, boy!?”

The rookie suddenly grabs hold of his opponent and drives three solid, swift knees to the pretty pup’s gut. He throws the veteran babyface to the mat, and with Marco lying vulnerably on his stomach, the big bad Wolf straddles the kid’s tiny waist and applies a nasty arm bar.  “You like that boy?” he asks, shoving the kid’s face into the mat. Holy fuck, I’m already pushing pausing and rehydrating!

Wolf vs Marco 41
Marco dangles his meat in front of the hungry Wolf.

The narrative is one of a middleweight, very dangerous amateur pro with a ton of homoerotic pro experience putting his speed and technique up against the jaw dropping mass and power of an inexperienced rookie. Happily for me, this is not a squash by any definition. The boys trade riding time. Marco luxuriates in shoving his balls in the rookie’s face in a gorgeous schoolboy pin, but the newbie puts in the time to work his way free and return the favor, delighting in demanding to know how his crotch smells after skipping last night’s shower. “That’s right,” the rookie crows with a grin stretching ear to ear, “the big bad Wolf is going to put that in your face!” He tugs at the top of his own trunks, like he’s just barely restraining himself from yanking out his cock and dick-whipping Marco’s beautiful, trapped face. Absolutely, Marco controls the pace overall, but there’s an impressive sell from the rookie using his mouthwatering, grade A beef to muscle the kid into some sweetly vulnerable positions.

Wolf vs Marco 54
“That’s right, the big, bad Wolf is going to put that in your face!”

When you’ve got a 45 pound weight advantage, clearly one of the most effective offensive tacts to take is to just fucking sit on your opponent. Again, showing the newbie’s got an impressive presence of mind, he does this often. After one sexy scramble of limbs, Wolf finds himself sitting on Marco’s lower back, facing the kid’s feet. Marco tries to squirm free, but Wolf wisely lets gravity do the work for him, leaving him plenty of time for the rookie to play bongos on the kid’s gorgeous ass. He laughs with pleasure that seems to be less about being a sadistic fuck, and more about an honest, raw delight in the opportunity to take liberties with the power packed muscle kid.

Wolf vs Marco 42
“Mmmm, you like that, don’t you?”

There’s a second narrative, a sub-plot, if you will, that starts to change the tenor of the match about halfway through. The big, hairy, muscle beast of a rookie seems more and more hungry to take possession of his opponent’s hotly muscled young body. Personally, I think this is the perfect response to Marco’s opening homoerotic head games. He stokes the beast with talk of impressive muscles and speculating about what’s stuffed inside those trunks, and after a while of trading intimate holds, grinding muscles together, shoving each other’s faces in crotches, the big bad Wolf is licking his lips. At one point he has Marco trapped between his legs, the muscle kid’s ripped abs stretched backward, his pouch bulging beautifully. Wolf murmurs, as if startled to realize how erotic a wrestling match can turn, “Mmmmm, you like that, don’t you!?”

Wolf vs Marco 45-1
“Look at that ass right there.”

A little later, he’s got Marco trapped in kneeling head scissors. The kid grunts and squirms, but have you seen those fucking massive thighs? He’s not going anywhere. Wolf stares down at the kid’s body with that look of hungry pleasure. “Mmmmmm,” he coos, “look at that ass right there!” Of course we’re looking at that ass, but more importantly, so is Wolf!

Wolf vs Marco 77
“Yeah, I gotcha now!”

He flips Marco on his back and, I kid you not, sits that magnificently muscled ass squarely atop the kid’s trapped, sensationally smothered face. The plot could be all about dominance, which is of course a favorite narrative of ours. This moment could be punctuated with withering taunts about what a weak piece of shit the veteran is, so helplessly stuck in such a humiliating predicament. But Wolf stretches his hands forward and tells a totally different, 100% homoerotic tale, beginning to eagerly stroke Marco’s six-pack abs. “Yeah, I gotcha now,” he coos, his eyes following his hands as they stretch down to Marco’s thighs, squeezing, stroking, and then gently cupping the kid’s pouch.

Wolf vs Marco 85
“Look at these fucking muscles right here. I like these!”

I’m not sure if Marco saw this coming. Remembering how much attention Marco paid earlier, the rookie smothers his face for days between those epic, hairy pecs. Near the end of the match, standing in the middle of the mats, Wolf takes advantage of controlling the kid from behind. Someone more focused on the competition might have sealed the deal then and there with a big, bulging bicep pressed across the kid’s carotid artery. But between Marco’s homoerotic taunts and the intoxicating elixir of sweaty muscles and adrenaline, Wolf just strums his finger tips down his opponent’s washboard abs. “Look at these fucking muscles right here,” he murmurs like it’s pillow talk, brushing his palm across Marco’s pouch again and feeling the kid’s strong upper quads. “I like these!” he announces unnecessarily. He kneads Marco’s sweet pecs in his big hands, playfully pinching the kid’s magnificent nipples. “Yeah, you like that?” Marco replies a little breathlessly.

Wolf vs Marco 81
Marco puts down the big, bad Wolf.

The end of this story is abrupt and a little jarring. Wolf gets sleepered out cold (sort of), and Marco stomps off leaving all of the homoerotic tension just lying there. I’m left wondering if all of Marco’s infamous security in his own sexuality and masculinity may have been tested farther than he’s been tested before. He didn’t have nearly the sweet, game retort he typically has. He just puts the beast down and walks away.

Wolf vs Marco 98
Marco flexes over his prey.

Kudos to both of these studs. They not only lived up to the hype and promise, they far exceeded it. Particularly the big bad Wolf brought something that I’m just unaccustomed to seeing on the Thunder’s Arena mat. If there’s any justice in this world, wrestling producers will be relently throwing sensationally hot pretty boys at this gorgeous, hairy beast, feeding his obvious hunger to explore just how erotic wrestling can be.

Wolf vs Marco 73
Who’s next!!!?