Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

There was quite a flurry of November new releases at the end of the month. I didn’t come close to sampling everything hitting the market, because I have only so much money and time. But that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t moved by what I did see, and when it comes to selecting my favorite each month, the name of the game is what grabbed my attention and tickled my crotch most. So, yes, I’m ready to anoint a new homoerotic wrestler of the month, and based on the sweaty fantasies haunting my dreams in the wee hours of the mornings, that wrestler is…


Eagle4.png… Thunder’s Arena’s Eagle.

Eagle has a classic bodybuilder physique!

This gorgeous newbie made a big, big splash in the homoerotic wrestling pool, debuting in Thunder’s Battlespace 84, then earning the unique distinction of co-starring the Thunder’s first ever extremely limited release,  available for one day only, running headlong into the beautiful muscle veteran Frey in Bodybuilder Battle 85.

Strike a pose

Regular readers are aware that my HWOTM title tends to go to time-tested, fully formed wrestling personalities.  However, Eagle is definitely not the first, fresh out of the box, mouthwatering muscle man to rise to the top of the cop in a given month.  It takes a rookie with a particular set of jaw dropping assets to put him into this elite company. Bronzed, blond, blue-eyed fitness model Eagle possesses exactly those foot-in-the-door credentials to make me take a double take. And then some!

“I’m not just a pretty face. I’ve got the brawn to go with it.”

Eagle has a delightfully compelling personality to compliment his muscle mag coverboy aesthetics. In his opening confessional with the camera, he acknowledges precisely what I’m thinking when he tells fans not to worry about his close-up-ready pretty face. Pointing those piercing, hauntingly luminescent eyes straight into your soul, the devastatingly handsome hunk flexes with a cocky sneer and explains that he’s built his comic book superhero physique into such a powerful, completely dominating mass of muscle in order to protect his picture perfect pretty face. He crunches those gargantuan pecs, pumps his massive, peaked biceps, and promises you that he’s abundantly equipped to emerge from any wrestling match every bit as pretty as he started.

Coach didn’t teach you this, did he Eagle?  Look at the size of those upper legs!!!!

It’s a special joy when a newbie shows up to the homoerotic wrestling mats with unmistakable amateur wrestling experience. Eagle is every juicy ounce as comfortable, confident, and capable as Frey as they lock up, scramble, and score take downs. The narrative takes shape around the notion that Frey finds the fitness model newbie perfectly able to hold his own (and he’s welcome to hold mine anytime he’d like) when it comes to straight up speed, strenghth, and mat skill. After an impressive display of body awareness and control, a frustrated Frey initiates the beautiful rook into the rougher edges of professional homoerotic wrestling. Nut shots set up that wonderful arsenal of corporal punishment that they do NOT train you for in high school wrestling. OTK backbreakers, bone crunching bearhugs, and a spine crunching Boston crab work every bulging inch of the luscious newbie beautifully.

Eagle squeezes out every last ounce!

Both Frey and Eagle stroll gracefully into one of my favorite plots as the newbie roars back to demonstrate he is a very quick study and enthusiastic to practice everything he’s learning on the fly. It’s his gargantuan quads that feature front and center and really make me gasp in unison with Frey struggling to feed his lungs oxygen. Those massive tree trunks are insane! And he crushes the bearded badboy like squeezing the last fraction of an ounce of toothpaste out of the tube. I buy it 110% when Frey submits, looking for the world like he’s desperate to make an appointment with his chiropractor to get his spine fixed after getting violently rearranged in more than one variation of Eagle’s scissors.

He pounds his huge, flexed thighs demonstrating the power that just fucked Frey over!

And the newbie is so fucking proud. He preens and pumps cockily. He flexes those insane quads, pointing at them and trash talking the veteran writhing on the mat at his feet. And then here’s the plot point that makes me weak in the knees. Frey fucking goes after the goldenboy’s pride and joy. He targets Eagle’s huge thighs for a cruise missile attack. There’s no skirting around the edges. He doesn’t distract him with one thing in order to sneak attack the tree trunks on the sly. It’s ego versus ego as Frey charges headlong into what is undeniably the kid’s proudest asset and, at face value, his most devastating tool in threatening to upend his seasoned pro opponent.

Uh oh. Speaking of getting fucked over!

Frey locks on a figure-4 leg lock, and suddenly all that luscious meat hanging off of the bone is useless! Eagle looks shocked.  He’s panicked as the reality of his knee about to snap in half washes over him. Technique and a perfectly executed plan defy the overwhelming momentum that the dazzling newbie was riding. All that mouthwatering promise, all that cocky, stunningly beautiful physical perfection, all that cocky, athletically accomplished, roaring young ego certain of his date with destiny… left screaming in a pool of sweat and tears.

Eagle can’t walk when Frey is done with his pride and joy legs.

I’m hoping Eagle sharpens his talons and flies right back into the fray, because he completely did it for me in Bodybuilder Battle 85. In the mean time, for the body, the beauty, the wrestling, and the storytelling, Eagle is my new reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month.

Physical perfection coming and going. Eagle is my new homoerotic wrestler of the month.

7 thoughts on “Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

  1. You guys make me laugh! Eagle should go back to the nest and stay there.

    He’s hasn’t got anything to Chirp about!!!!

    1. Ha! Well, you’d be like a worm, and Eagle would like, chew you up and, uh, regurgitate you to…to feed his young… (Damn it! I suck at promos!)

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