Mitch Colby – Sidelineland

Crush

August 21, 2023 wrestlebard10 Comments

If you’ve read ANY posts prior to this one, it will come as no surprise when I say that I’m prone to crushes. In no small way, the past 1,683 posts document in excessive detail (I admit) hundreds of moments of my infatuation. They all rotate around the gravitational pull of erotic wrestling for me, of course. Whether I’m crushing on erotic wrestlers, pro wrestlers, or amateur wrestlers, or imagining erotic wrestling between hot actors, models, bodybuilders, or people I spy in my everyday life, my crushes are varied and, simultaneously, singular. I’ve been asked several times recently about my original motivation and approach to starting this blog. Honestly, it took a while for me to spiral in on the heart of what it has become, but at this point, I think of that heart as being about the wrestling crushes that linger, that I feel compelled to explore here. It’s the reason why when, occasionally, someone critiques or complains about what I’ve written about, that it sort of takes me by surprise. This is me, reflecting “out loud” on where my lustful eye lands. I’m thrilled when my reflections intersect with or provoke reflections in others, but honestly, it’s all about me. I swear, I don’t walk through my life prattling on and on about what/who turns me on, but here… yeah. If you’re looking for other content, I’m sure you can find it elsewhere.

Most of what I write about has been wrestling-for-gay-eyes. It’s not always “gay wrestling,” and definitely not always erotic wrestling, but most of my attention settles on the industry that has grown up marketing to guys like me. For about half of the life of the blog, I was maintaining running tallies of my current favorite homoerotic wrestlers, picking out my lasting crushes and my instant infatuations among the new releases from the likes of BG East, Can-Am, Naked Kombat, and the half a dozen more companies that have sprouted from the fertile soil of the early innovators and entrepreneurs. Starting the “discipline” of keeping track of who my favorite wrestler was at any one time, and combing through the new releases each month to highlight one hunk who grabbed me by the balls hardest, probably deserves a lot of the credit for the overall vibe of what I think I’m using this blog for. Like, when I picked Mitch Colby in May of 2009 to be my inaugural reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, it’s not that I expected him to be everyone’s favorite. I wasn’t proscribing Mitch as somehow independently verifiable as superior to anyone else by any metric other than for being the stunning, 6’2, 200 pound marble statue of Adonis that I couldn’t get my mind off of at the time. When, over the years, commenters have quibble about a choice I’ve made for my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, I would always delight in comparing notes, but… no, the choice was never “wrong,” because it was always about who turned me on (and, yeah, I’m THE expert in that, if nothing else!).

Me wrestling TxWresl at Wrestlefest Canada

As I’ve documented here, over the past few months I’ve enjoyed exploring meet-up wrestling for the first time. It’s been an interesting evolution from long-time homoerotic wrestling fanatic to rookie homoerotic wrestler. Well, it’s not like I’ve evolved out of being a fanatic. I continue to nurse my infatuations over the wrestlers that show up regularly on my screens in new releases and classic favorites. I’m both a seasoned, long-time aficionado and a very fresh and untested rookie at the same time. But both in the (over)abundance of what I’ve learned about the pleasure I get from watching homoerotic wrestling, and in my nascent understanding of what I enjoy about participating in homoerotic wrestling myself, my natural inclinations remain the same. The holds and the heat, the range of bodies and builds, the necessary chemistry and vibe are close to the same in turning me on watching or wrestling.

I’ve enjoyed all of my wrestling experiences so far, and I know that I shouldn’t take that for granted. Friends have shared with me stories of meet-ups that have not gone well, or just been downright bad. I haven’t had a match that I regret, or a bad experience with any of my opponents. And, to one extent or another, I develop mini-infatuations on all of them. What is intense and hot and enjoyable is both varied, and singular, as it has been with what I enjoy about watching good homoerotic wrestling. My most recent two matches definitely linger. In my downtime, I find myself wandering to them repeatedly, crushing on a hold, a look, a feel. Maybe these last two matches continue to linger because, well, they’re my most recent two. Or, maybe, it’s because they were both rematches, of a sort. Maybe the heat lingers because, a second (or more) time around with a wrestler, the intensity is jump started by familiarity? Of course, one of the two is Scott Williams, who has been entirely successfully translated from my homoerotic wrestling-watching crush into a homoerotic wrestling opponent crush. This surprises me not in the least, although it still tickles me that Scott is apparently having enough fun with his #1 fan to stubbornly keep coming back for more. He’s been starring in the masturbation reel in my mind for years, and he continues to be hot as hell. So, of course, my mind wanders back to our last match a couple of weeks ago, giving me a little uncomfortable pressure in my pants at inopportune times (no complaints from me, though).

SeattleFight making me wonder whose camel clutch is most punishing, Scott’s or his

The other intrusive, pleasurable memories that my mind’s eye keeps settling on feature the last opponent I wrestled in Toronto three weeks ago. I wrote then about the instant, magnetic impact SeattleFight had on me over and over at WrestleFest. Again, there are some obvious elements that go a long way to explaining why I experienced an instant crush on SeattleFight. He’s handsome and armored in gorgeous (and super functional) muscle. He’s unselfconsciously intense as fuck when he’s wrestling. Maybe less obvious, I also keep returning to my memories of him catching my eye, in groups, at the bar, in a random encounter in a shop on Church Street, and repeatedly experiencing this electric spark. When we’ve exchanged messages since, my heart skips just a little with excitement to see something from him. Yep, that’s me crushing.

When I’ve blogged about my favorite wrestlers featured in homoerotic wrestling products, I’ve routinely pitted contending crushes against one another, if only in my imagination. In my imagination, I’m doing it all the fucking time, picturing what would a match look like between two stunning hunks that, separately, I can’t get my mind off of. For example, in 2010, I was vacillating back and forth, almost month by month, between Mitch Colby and Rusty Stevens as my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler. Both of them in their best shape, selling each of their distinctive attitudes and styles, classic babyface and pitch-perfect heel, gave me whiplash turning back and forth between their new releases, trying to decide which of them gets the penthouse suite living rent free in my head. I mused on the pages of this blog that what I really needed to see was the two of them settling the question by wrestling against each other. My faith in the existence of the homoerotic gods was cemented when less than a year later, BG East released their one and only match featuring Rusty… taking on Mitch. Fuuuck. I still manage to both melt and get hard at the same time just thinking about it.

When it comes to my lingering wrestling crushes on Scott and SeattleFight, it turns out they have wrestled each other in the past. Fuck, to be a fly on that wall! I haven’t heard too many details about their encounter. I realize not everyone has their inner monologue on public broadcast at all times quite like I do, so I’m not sure how polite it is for me to ask for details. But, fuck. I think seeing them, firsthand, square off against one another would make that divine moment of watching Mitch and Rusty wrestle in The Breaking Point pale by homoerotic comparison. One thing I’ve learned in my early experiences with meet-up wrestling is that just getting two interested wrestlers in the same place at the same time is more than half the challenge. So, I can’t imagine the luck and coordinated effort it would require to get all three of us in the same place. But, if Scott and SeattleFight ever have the rematch that the homoerotic wrestling gods WANT to happen (no, no, I’m not projecting…), and I’m within a days drive, holy FUCK I’d better get a front row seat! Hell, I’ll buy refs stripes and a whistle and be closer than the front row. Fuck, I’ll wear trunks underneath, just in case.

And now… that’s the image that’s going to live rent free in the penthouse apartment in my head.

BG East Fantasies

September 30, 2022December 31, 2022 wrestlebard5 Comments

It may not have looked like it, but I’ve been pretty damn busy when it comes to exercising my homoerotic wrestling imagination. I’ve authored a few BG East match descriptions for their not new releases. AR and I have been exploring just how up close and personal it can get when we combine my prose and his graphic art, mixed together with a shared passion for homoerotic wrestling, and BG East, in particular (more on that later). And in that vain, I’ve been fishing more of my old archived homoerotic wrestling fiction out of the old, defunct Sidelineland Stories archives and uploading them to the Sidelineland Stories Reboot.

It’s not like BG East doesn’t produce enough blindingly hot wrestling fare to satisfy me, but knowing how out of control my imagination gets, it should come as little to surprise to anyone who reads this blog that I authored my own fan fiction to explore BG East matches that never were. The first match explores the corporate intrigue and espionage that I always imagined was going on between competing homoerotic wrestling companies. This was after Rio Garza had started wrestling with BG East, but then went to Rock Hard Wrestling, and before Z-Man had done the reverse. The tag team match featured those two babyface beauties, facing off against my personal dream team, Mitch Colby and Derek DaSilva.

I also rebooted the story of a fitness model who got in way over his head wrestling for BG East, getting schooled hard by Mitch (yeah, this was deep, deep in my infatuation with Mitch phase). I enjoyed “recruiting” someone new to the BG East universe, and played heavily off of the Contract Series that was still going hot and heavy around then.

The third match I just migrated over to the new archives was the sequel to James Dawson’s tragic contract negotiations with BG East, in which the ripped, gorgeous muscle hunk next had to square off against the bulldozer Joe Robbins.

The fourth old match you can now find in the new archives was another dream combination that, sadly, was never to be IRL. Brad Rochelle and Mitch Colby squared off in that wrestling fantasy, ticking all the boxes of babyface beauties I go weak in the knees for.

And the final match I migrated in this genre (for now) was a super clever little piece that co-author Metellus and worked on, flipping scripts and putting a literal underwear model in the BG East ring against Enforcer, and discovering that not all underwear models are “just” underwear models.

All of these BG East-inspired fantasies have been dovetailing into some really exciting works that AR and I are doing, similarly finding angles and wrestlers that would otherwise just not find their way in front of a BG East camera for real, but who, nevertheless, make for sensationally sexy homoerotic wrestling fantasies in our imaginations. More on that to come soon, I hope!

Corporate Intrigue

July 28, 2022 wrestlebard2 Comments

I’ve transferred another story from my old archive to the new one, Sidelineland Stories. Re-reading this match makes me chuckle. It also turns me on, again, which is fun to rediscover. There was a period of time when I was, absolutely ignorantly, fueling the rumor mill regarding corporate competition between rival gay-oriented wrestling companies. At the time, I was just noticing that wrestlers were migrating from one company to another, and I was totally providing the back-story that the hot hunks were being nefariously poached. I had no actual insider info about the politics of it all, but that didn’t prevent me from speculating (talking out-my-ass). And we all know the lengths my imagination will take me.

Chasing Rio is a story about corporate espionage and cut-throat headhunting (hunk-hunting, really) among the wresting companies that cater to gay fans. When this was originally written, there were 3 or 4 serious producers on the scene, at least my take on the scene. Rio Garza had just recently begun wrestling for Rock Hard Wrestling under a different name, and it was all sorts of drama going off in my head. These days, it feels like the field has exploded with producers putting content out of their garage, and in the past few years, individual wrestlers marketing their own self-produced materials directly through OnlyFans pages. I’ve got so many opinions about the state of the scene, but I’m going to resist the temptation to go there. Today, at least.

Instead, feel free to tuck in with Chasing Rio, a tag team competition featuring long-standing favorite wrestling crushes Rio Garza, Mitch Colby, Derek da Silva, and Zack Jonathan (Vazquez Z-Man). If you know my opinions well, you probably just chuckled when I listed Z-Man as a favorite. At the time that I wrote Chasing Rio, Z-Man had not ventured onto the BG East roster, and the companies for which he worked did not push him hard enough to really learn the craft of wrestling, in my opinion. A few outings with BG East, which I have on very good authority (you know I’ve got a man inside the operation who feeds me intel) included direct tutelage from The Boss himself, and Z-Man won me over. I still mostly just want to see him get crushed like a pop can, but I readily admit that he can reliably turn me on when he does it these days. I had my gripes about Rio, at times, as well, so consider my tastes carefully.

A couple of years after I first published this story and stoked the rumor mill about corporate competition and talent poaching, I actually enjoyed (a lot) the opportunity to meet the back office boys at BG East, in real life. The conversation about wrestlers working for competing companies came up, and the powers that be at BG East were adamant that they never imply a non-compete clause when they work with their wrestlers, and that they wish them only the best. Which, frankly, was really cool to hear, from the perspective of a fan. Of course, the BG East boys quickly followed up with the (persuasive) argument that they recruit, train, feature, and promote their wrestlers in ways far superior than anyone else.

Rio Garza the first time most of us ever saw him, which as debuting at BG East.

All my best to the fierce hunks who strip down, oil up, and pound their bodies into each other for the carnal pleasure of gay wrestling fans like you and me. I’m just thrilled for the way that they fuel my wrestling fantasies, and I hope that they enjoy long careers and happy lives. Interestingly, I believe that Z-Man may be the only star of Chasing Rio still on the scene, and I’m not entirely sure even he is. I’d love to hear what life is like for fantasymen like these hunks, after the cameras are off, and they’re looking back (hopefully proudly) at their wrestling careers.

Tan Lines

June 21, 2020June 8, 2020 wrestlebard4 Comments

0401_lg The first time I posted about my appreciation of the value added by tan lines, I received some surprising back channel heat. There are, apparently, some guys who find tan lines unsightly. I honestly had no idea. I’ve always found them provocative and tantalizing. There’s something that much closer to naked about tan lines. They signal something vulnerable, something delicate, to otherwise hard bodied beefcake. They allude to modesty unmasked, to an uncommon intimacy shared with those who get a glimpse of them. Tan lines serve as a literal and figurative boundary, and in the homoerotic gaze, they seem to inherently speak to disregarding boundaries and propriety and self-restraint. All my respect to the hot hunks on a quest for that all-over tan, but as for me, I get an extra hard heart pump from an impossible to miss tan line!

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Calvin Haynes’ sensational ass turns me on that much harder when Mason Brooks’ reveals his beautiful tan line in their match on Calvin’s Wrestler Spotlight.

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Drake Marcos, bless his heart, tanned like a mother fucker before getting his turn riding muscle cherub Gabriel Cross inX-Fights 34. The bike shorts he was soaking up the sun in left an indelible mark in my memory.

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When Alexi Adamov got to be the first at BGE to get his hands on Mitch Colby on Alexi’s Wrestler Spotlight, I was shocked by how enticingly distracting Mitch’s tan line is, even with all of that ripped, gorgeous, sweaty muscle everywhere to look at.

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Rhino taped several matches for Thunder’s Arena sporting bike shorts tan lines that somehow make his massively thick thighs look just that much more gargantuan. Here, he’s got Scrappy draped across his shoulders like wet towel in Mat Rats 105, and somehow all I can see are those sexy-as-fuck tan lines.

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I feel in my gut that Alex Oliver doesn’t really get just how crazy-sexy he is getting plowed under in a made-for-gay-eyes wrestling match. His deep, deep, dark tan contrasting with his lily white upper thighs on display in Cameron’s manhandling of the boy makes me want to lick him so, so much.

Help me out and let me know what more sexy-as-fuck tan lines to watch for in homoerotic wrestling!

Scott Williams’ Twink Demolition

May 29, 2020May 27, 2020 wrestlebard6 Comments

At any one time, I’m typically nursing a throbbing crush on around half a dozen wrestlers. All it takes is a glimpse of one of them, and my heart pounds and my cock grows hard. It’s a rotating stock of sexy studs commanding my infatuation, but there are just a few wrestlers who show up on my shortlist and stick around long and hard.

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One of the first homoerotic wrestlers to instantly be elevated to crush status is BG East’s Scott Williams. I’ve written about my infatuation with Scott in the past, so I’ll just point out that if I were stranded on desert island and could only have 3 hunks with me for an endless round-robin of homoerotic wrestling, Scott is now, and almost always is, on that island.

1319_lg — Rusty Stevens & Mitch Colby in Breaking Point

My homoerotic wrestling imagination has really been the theme of this blog for over 10 years. My musings have flitted from pro wrestlers, to wrestling-for-gay, to Hollywood hunks and beefcake journalists I’d like to see wrestle. But the real subject is always how my erotic imagination possesses my thoughts and inspires my cock. It’s just a thought-exercise that you’re invited to join me along, exploring my homoerotic wrestling fantasies that, for the most part, are solely playing out in my mind’s eye. But then again, there was that time I obsessed relentlessly for months about my fierce ambivalence between settling on Mitch Colby or Rusty Stevens as my reigning favorite wrestler, only to discover Kid Leopard had made my fantasy come true by pitting them against one another in The Breaking Point: The Sexiest.

I’ll keep nursing my regression to magical thinking and silently hope that I, just wishing it and naming it out loud, can make a fantasy match-up come true. I have some fantasy matches in mind, but I want to carve out what I intend to be a recurring series here, namely picturing tasty twinks for man-of-my-dreams Scott Williams to devour.

Scott has commented in the pages of this blog that he likes getting his hands on new crops of young wrestling twinks. That acknowledgment alone sent me pouring through the catalogs of new releases to decide who it is Scott should get his hands on first, at least in my imagination. For the record, Scott has not endorsed this series, nor has he approved any of the opponents I have in mind for him. If Scott wants a rewrite, or even a retraction, of absolutely anything I write about him, I’m his to command. Like, literally, Scott. Anything I can do for you, let me know.

The first twink I’m picturing that Scott should demolish is stunningly pretty, doe-eyed sexy boy, winner of the Debut of the Year of 2018, Kenny Starr. Just sizing the two of them up turns me on, because numbers are sexy. At 6’2″ and 190 pounds, Scott would tower over little Kenny, who stands at 5’9″ and 175 pounds. Kenny wears a playful smirk on his boyish face at the start of every match, like he’s just here for the fun and games and the free drinks and ready sex that come with being a young, ripped, erotic wrestling starr.

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So just picture Scott squaring off against Kenny in the BG East matroom, Kenny grinning and chuckling about “beating up grandpa,” and Scott staring back, deadly serious. Fuck, I love Scott’s game face. Glaring almost half a foot down at Kenny, his stone cold, humorless stare would visibly unnerve the cocky twink.

Kenny would take the initiative with a lightning quick lunge, taking a leg with a self-satisfied grin. Kenny’s plan would be to shock and awe the veteran with youthful speed and aggression. Scott would just watch, appraisingly. Even when Kenny sweeps the leg and slams the veteran to his back, I picture Scott just holding his hands out to his side, calmly, cooly studying the ankle biter quickly mounting his lightly hairy chest and sliding into a schoolboy pin. Kenny’s crotch dangling just over Scott’s face, the young stud would break out into that adorably exuberant shit-eating grin, flashing his baseball biceps and basically just waiting for Scott to admit that he’s outmatched.

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I think Scott would indulge the moment a while, because he enjoys the view and he knows he’s winding up the kid’s flawed sense of invincibility. But mid-chuckle, little Kenny would get bucked off and tossed across the matroom. Kenny’s certainty in his own superior speed would be shattered when Scott beats him to his feet, and then just flat out beats him. Scott likes long, strength-sucking endurance holds, so he’d start with a vice-like side headlock, dragging the twink around a couple laps of the matroom while crushing Kenny’s skull between a bulging bicep and his ribcage. Dropping to one knee, I can see Scott turning the crank in that magnificent way he has, pumping the headlock like he’s working to pry the stubborn lid off of a jam jar. Kenny would whimper and wilt sagging lower and lower until Scott takes him all the way to the mat, still crushing his skull relentlessly.

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Seriously, I can see Kenny tapping out to the patiently tantric headlock in the first 3 minutes of the match. It wouldn’t exactly surprise Scott, but it would sort of piss him off. The veteran relishes a test, and a cocky bro rolling over right out of the gate would inspire some serious punishment. Sure, he’d let go of the “submission” hold, but he’d give the kid exactly 1.5 seconds before sliding him into crotch-pillow headscissors and clamping down with his lovely, long, hairy legs. Little Kenny would writhe and whimper louder, struggling to pry the thighs away from his throbbing head.

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Scott would slowly transition to a figure-4 choke, then an armbar, then a tautly strung bow-and-arrow, patiently milking each crush and stretch. The matwork would be masterful, burying the increasingly desperate kid under joint wrenching torture from head to toe. A weak-ass 2nd submission would squeak out of the pretty boy to an incidental half nelson that Scott was using to set up a camel clutch. Scott would throw him down in disgust, exasperated by the would-be tough guy crumbling before him. As little Kenny whimpers petulantly, nursing his battered ego, Scott would call him a crybaby, all talk and no substance. He’d spank the kid’s ass with loud, cracking slaps that would make Kenny spasm and cry out.

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Scott’s patience would run out, waiting for his opponent to get up and fight like a man. Dragging him up by the back of his straining trunks, Scott would hook an arm between Kenny’s legs from behind, hoist him off is feet, and pound the gasping kid down in a gutbuster across his knee. You’d hear the air violently rush out of Kenny’s lungs, even as Scott would hoist him back up and slam him back down, again and again. When the kid doesn’t even squirm on the line, folded humiliatingly across Scott’s bent knee, the veteran would peel the back of Kenny’s sweat-soaked trunks down, exposing that lily white, perfectly round ass. I can see Scott squeeze the produce appreciatively for a while. It’s not like Kenny has any fight in him to complain. Until, that is, Scott starts spanking the naughty boy hard. Screams would punctuate the wet slaps, as the veteran hungrily studies the red palm prints he leaves behind. “Cry for me, crybaby,” Scott would growl. Kenny would weep in frustration.

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Kenny’s pleading submissions would fall on deaf ears. Hell, I’d bet Scott would crack some senior citizen joke about needing new batteries for his hearing aids, and not being able to hear this wailing twink. Of course, the truth is that the veteran would be tickled by every yelp, savoring every tear. He’d drag the kid up, demanding that the weak-kneed punk leave his ass cheeks hanging out. When petulant Kenny stubbornly pulls his short pants back over his red hot glutes, Scott would violently shove him into the wall face-first, pinning his head to the wall with one hand while using the other to yank his opponent’s trunks halfway down his quivering legs. You could just hear the twink’s impotent sobs grow more frustrated, then more desperate, as Scott pins the kid’s wrists to the wall overhead and grinds his crotch into Kenny’s ass.

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Kenny wouldn’t disobey when Scott demands, again, that he leave his trunks where they are. Even as the veteran throws him wall to wall and then body slams the kid to the mat, Kenny would leave his trunks awkwardly hanging mid-thigh. Scott would sit low and mean in the saddle across the kid’s bare butt in a Camel Clutch demanding that the kid cry, which he would. Loudly. Scott’s Boston Crab would be a little more work to cinch in place with Kenny’s trunks sliding most of the way to his knees, but all the easier for the veteran to transition to a single leg and reach down and squeeze the boy’s hanging balls.

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Kenny would submit again. And again. And again. With his tormenter’s claws ripping apart his perky lean pecs, Kenny would give. In an abdominal stretch hanging like a cut of tenderized beef on the hook, he’d cry out in submission again. Twisted, tossed, and tortured, the twink’s trunks would slide lower and lower, until he’d be swaying, barely standing unassisted, his pale white beauty marked all over with red welts turning angry purple, and his prettyboy designer trunks mid-calf. Panting, heavy-lidded, half out of it, Kenny would self-conciously start to bend forward when his gear finally drops to his ankles. Scott would just have to “tut-tut,” and the demolished twink would jerk back to attention obediently, swaying on his feet, eyes on the floor in humiliated subjugation.

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Scott would take one last stroll around his tamed trophy, offering light praise for the kid’s quick obedience, and promising to make a man out of him. Little Kenny wouldn’t say anything, because, really, what would there be to say? He’d just grunt in resignation when Scott shoves an arm between his thighs from behind and hoists the kid across his gorgeously muscled shoulders. If he pulled down on Kenny’s neck and legs, he’d wring more screams and tears out with a torture rack, but there’d really be no point to that any longer. Scott would just be wearing the kid like a wrap now, taking in the sight of himself in the mirror, soaked in sweat and in full possession of the adorable little muscle bro who’d been so filled with cocky overconfidence 20 minutes ago. With his conquest balanced across his wide shoulders, Scott would flex a little. He’d have earned the right to indulge in the self-congratulations, giving credit where it’s due, namely to his phenomenal physique and mat experience. Finally, he’d stride to the door and side-step through it, carrying his naked prize with him.

At least, that’s how I see it. It’s a lot more lopsided a match than we’ve seen Scott wrestle, but seriously, have you seen those huge, corded arms of his with veins popping out in his recent guest appearances at Wrestling with Pride? With the shape he’s in, and company he keeps, and boatload of experience to draw from, I just see tasty little Kenny demolished by the man-of-my-dreams!

Dear Scott,

May 21, 2020 wrestlebard8 Comments

[Note: The following post is addressed specifically to BG East classic, Scott Williams, in response to his comment specifying what blog topics he would, personally, find entertaining. If you are not Scott Williams, you may feel free to continue to read, but just know that this is really all about pleasing the man of my dreams!]

Honestly, Scott, yours are the headscissors by which I judge all others. I love the way you milk them with waves of contracting muscle. It’s supposed to be a static hold, but you bear down ever tighter, shifting the angle, fine tuning the pressure. Other wrestlers try to make it look effortless, propped nonchalant on one elbow, smiling, pedestrian, pointedly not breaking a sweat. I grant you, that element of facile control can be super sexy, but then I think of that grimace of concentration on your face as you squeeze, light grunts of your effort punctuated by gasping agony of your prey. Every lovely muscle in your body is coiled, strung taut, actively crushing an opponent’s skull trapped between your relentless legs. Of course, I’m not telling you anything you didn’t already know, so let me turn my attention to surveying other “punishing quads” that epitomize both the brute force and the subtle artistry of sensationally sexy headscissors.

I have to confess, working on this has become a labor of love, and my list of killer quads to vet for you here just keeps growing. I’ve given up on attempting a definitive list in one post. Consider these 4 fine specimens as merely my first installment in paying you back for inspiring so much pleasure and so many homoerotic wrestling fantasies.

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The first wrestler that sprang to my mind is Mitch Colby, and not just because I’m almost as big a fan of him as I am of you. Have you wrestled Mitch? I would imagine you and he would be well-matched in skill and temperament. Not only does he pretty invariably clamp on headscissors in almost every match, but he has this sensationally sexy way of locking on and then bearing down on them that reminds me a lot of you. He likes them super snug. He’ll often grab a fist full of hair and yank his opponent’s head as high as possible between this thighs for the extra pressure, and his pleasure. He’ll twist his hips to the side, really working it, crushing his opponent’s skull and cranking on his neck. When he’s firing on all cylinders, and he’s been squeezing a while, his eyes close. His face goes slack, and his head rolls backward. Now, I don’t know if he’s ever literally climaxed with some lucky fucker’s head crushed between his long, powerful thighs, but I feel pretty certain that’s what his face looks like when he cums.

h0406_lg — Mitch demonstrates his favorite position on Patrick Donovan in his Wrestler Spotlight.

h07_lg — Mitch springs the trap on squashed Christopher Bruce in Undagear 21.

1416_lg — Mitch may or may not be orgasming as he punishes Bobby Horton in Backyard Brawls 5.

h0212_lg — Surely, he’s cumming as a tortures Tyrell Tomsen in Wet & Wild 3.

My next set of punishing legs for your consideration, Scott, belong to Logan Vaughn.

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You’re the expert, of course, Scott, so tell me if I’m wrong when I say that the most punishing quads aren’t always the thickest. However, when I think scissors, I think of the thickest thighs I’ve ever seen on a wrestler: the lovely legs of Logan Vaughn. Logan’s sojourn with BGE was tragically short, but his work elsewhere had all ready caught my eye by the time I saw him in exploiting his gargantuan quads to perfection in Florida Fights 5. Have you seen that match, Scott? Holy fuck, it’s a leg lover’s dream match. Logan’s inner thighs are like a black hole, irresistibly sucking Trey Dixon in, over and over. There are a dozen or more scissor variations, and every one of them completely incapacitates lucky Trey. Logan’s head scissors are the sweetest for my tastes, though. Trey’s head looks like a golf ball, completely dwarfed between the sequoias swallowing him. Logan is one of those hunks who make scissors look effortless, but seriously, if he earnestly bore down on them, Trey’s skull would have surely cracked. There’s seamless, totally convincing worship that breaks out, only when Logan permits it. This match is on my most-played list, mostly for the 8th Modern Wonder of the World that is Logan’s superhuman legs and the absolute perfect use he puts them to.

h1611_lg — Logan in repose as Trey is smothered.

h0410_lg — Trey grabs hold and prays he can survive.

h0417_lg-2 — Standing, figure-4, face-to-crotch headscissors suspended from the turnbuckle (try saying that 3 times fast!)

h1616_lg — Trey trapped and tortured from every, fucking, single, angle!

h1513_lg — I love the lacing of his ankles, the flex of his toes, and the way Trey just holds on for dear life.

Correct me if I’m wrong, Scott, but I feel certain I’ve seen you trash talking with Kayden Keller on social media, alluding to having faced the hot, young heel in person. If so, you know better than I can imagine just how punishing Kayden’s quads are.

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I have to include him in my list, however, because his legs make me swoon. Literally. Like, when I was fortunate enough to be able to conduct interviews at BG East a couple of years ago during a weekend of taping, I sat down with Kayden and commented on his stunning, sexy, strong thighs. And he flexed them, just smiling at me as I was instantly light-headed. I bravely attempted to continue the interview, but he just tugged his shorts up higher and flexed his quads some more, and I struggled to string together a coherent sentence. I’ve adoringly tracked his career over the years, from fierce heel pup to, now, the multi-award winning reigning Heel Champ of BG East. He’s grown up good, Scott! I don’t know when you may have faced him last, but I’d love to know if Kayden’s quads are as devastatingly powerful as they look, or as dizzingly sexy when they’re clamped across your skull like a vise.

h0115_lg — Ollie Watts is all tied up with nowhere to go in Gazebo Grapplers 21.

h0114_lg — Kayden gives lovely little Luke Reel a tongue wagging in Ultra Heels 6.

h0411_lg-1 — Kayden shows Leo Tomasi the best seat in the house in Ring Releases 3.

0111_lg — Kayden’s thighs bring hunky Carter Alexander to his knees in his Wrestling Spotlight.

I’ve got a list of twice this many names, but in order not to sabotage myself, I’m going to give you just one more for today. It’s a wild card. I don’t know how you might feel about competition bodybuilders and fun-and-games frat wrestling, but I’d like to draw your attention to Thunder’s Arena’s Loki.

loki

I feel like you might not track someone like Loki because he dabbles in wrestling, and you’re, clearly, serious as a heart attack. But hear me out. This muscle kid is absolutely draped in luxurious, thick, aesthetic muscle. And when he hits the mats, 9 times out of 10, he’s going to shove an opponent’s skull between those gargantuan, competition-ready quads. So, sure, he may not be really on the same scene, but you’ve got to admire him for his ready impulse to crack craniums with his quads. Often, his fratboy opponents can’t help themselves but grab hold (in awe, I’m certain). To his credit, he just lets them. If they try to pry him apart, he just holds them by the wrist, keeping them close enough to touch, but not break the hold. The flashing of his flexing quads as his opponents face’s go 2-dimensional is pure gold. Judging by the look of exquisite ecstasy as they’re crushed in the vise, I don’t think it takes a lot of effort from him to make opponents see stars.

lokijoey — I like how he adds a few extra ounces per square inch of pressure with his hand in Ringwars 94.

casonloki — Loki likes to watch his quads do their thing in Bodybuilder Battles 130.

lokimercury — He really, really likes to watch in Vegas Battles 69.

lokikasee5 — Standing at attention, flexed for days, in total control in Vegas Battles 73.

I’ll take a break now, because I’m a bit dehydrated, Scott. I hope this has given you a little entertainment and perhaps a little provocation. I’ll be back at a future date to explore the most punishing quads in wrestling some more, along with your other wish list item, some focused attention on Dirty Daddy!

Surpassing the Master

May 17, 2020December 19, 2022 wrestlebard8 Comments

I recently bumped into Ash DeLeon on social media. Ash gave me one of my last interviews I posted before my hiatus from blogging, and he graciously agreed to a follow-up interview to inaugurate my comeback. The conversation ranged from gut punching to lip locks to which upperclassmen heels he’s ready to challenge.

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Bard: Thanks so much, Ash, for helping me reboot the blog with an interview!

Ash: It’s my pleasure! Glad to have you back. Missed your blogs about the underground gay wrestling world, man. You have no idea how much I thrived on those when I was just a fan of all the top wrestling companies.

Bard: So, I’ve been out of the loop for about a year and a half, with limited bandwidth to keep up with homoerotic wrestling, sadly. What have I missed?

Ash: I will say this, you missed out on quite a bit! In terms of my career in BG East, I guess the three biggest “achievements” went from wrestling in front of a live crowd in a match for Wrestling with Pride, to being called a “veteran” by BG East rookies in my most recent BG East shoot. Oh, and of course, the product I was featured in along with Kayden Keller, Nathan Sargent, and Rocky Sparks, that won best product of the year! BAM! I very much consider that my first win for the annual BG East awards. But I believe quite a few of my matches have come out since your hiatus. There have been a few particular matches that I think you may have enjoyed, including my Three-Way Thrash with Kayden Keller and Luke Reel, to my Gut Bash match with Kenny Starr, and to my latest match against Ethan Axel Andrew’s himself, in a fantasy-brought-to-life of the classic “wrestling coach versus his student” match. It’s been quite the year of growth for me.

Bard: Damn, you have been busy!

Ash: I have been! But in the best ways possible!

h0420_lg — Saddling up on big pro Dimitri in Wrestling with Pride 2

Bard: Tell me about Wrestling with Pride 2. It sounds like that was your first match in front of an audience of fans. What was that like?

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Ash: It was my first live match. So the story was that the gentleman who was supposed to wrestle Dimitri could not make it. It was kind of last minute, too. So in the scramble of trying to find someone to fill that card, the Boss asked me if I was willing to do it. I can’t even describe the amount of anxiety I got when he asked me but…. I did get a 101 pro lesson back when I wrestled for UCW. So I remembered the fundamentals of pro matches, like how to take bumps, safely do basic moves, etc. However, pull all of those out of the attic and apply them in a live audience?! Yeah, I was nervous as hell. But I worked with Jonny and Dimitri, and they gave me a crash course on how to develop a good show for a pro match. In the end, I was told it came out pretty good! I remembered everything they taught me, and was able to apply it to the match. To me, the match went smoothly, and the crowd seemed to enjoy it. Besides injuring myself, I thought I did decent enough to put on a good show. I will say, it’s hard to explain what it’s like when you have a crowd cheer your name to get up and keep fighting. It was like, the best kind of adrenaline injected into you, from pure energy from the crowd. It was awesome!

Bard: It sounds thrilling! Were you injured bad?

Ash: I was! It was something I did to myself actually (laughing). So in the madness, I forgot to bring boots to the venue, so I had to go around and ask if anyone had spares, and the only guy who did was Tiko. Who had spare boots, but they had heels in them… so… At the end, when I was setting up the super kick and was stomping in the corner Shawn Michaels-style. The second stomp I did, I had a huge shockwave of pain fire up my leg, and I knew something went wrong (laughing). So that limping I did out of the ring? It was my leg more than anything else.

Bard: Damn, all of that Dimitri beef pounding down on you, and it’s footwear that really fucks you up? That’s unexpected!

Ash: Yeah, man, that was my thought exactly!

0405_lg — Heel training in Three-Way Thrash 5

Bard: So, tell me more about your 3-way with Kayden and Luke. What a tasty morsel little Luke is!

Ash: (laughing) Ah, yes little Luke was a fiesty one. After Kayden had his fun with the boy, he wanted to present me with a “challenge.” Granted, when I first saw that Luke was the challenge, I didn’t take it seriously. I learned real quick that Kayden had tricks up his sleeve. The real challenge was getting handicapped so hard with the knee to my balls, then getting beat on by both Kayden and Luke! I’ll admit they beat me pretty bad. My abs were clearly the focus, but I knew what Kayden really wanted was for me to prove, then and there, that I could take what I can give. Boy, did they test my resolve! However, I think it was safe to say I impressed Kayden by the end of that one, and Luke clearly loved every second of my pay back. Now Kayden has essentially taken me under his wing to learn how to be a legendary heel on the BG East roster. Always been my desire, since I watched my favorite heels destroy BG East’s sexy jobbers!

Bard: Well, I sort of want a little naked Luke Reel to sit on my dashboard and wag his hot body at me on my long commutes. I’m fascinated by what it may mean to be “taken under Kayden’s wing.” Do heels foster heel-friendships? Like, do you wonder if Kayden, Mr. Top Heel himself, might string this “mentor” thing along, just to make sure he’s there to beat you back down if you rise too far?

Ash: (laughing) Well, you can see how Kayden and I worked on the same beat when we were… well, beating on little Luke (laughing). Who knows? Maybe Kayden and I will become the new (maybe the first) destructive tag team of BG East. I am keeping on my toes with him. I know, as I keep learning the ways to heel, he will take me on in a brutal 1-on-1 match. And when that time comes, I’ll be ready. Who knows? The student could surpass the master at that point.

Bard: Well, I love the drama, so however it plays out, I’ll be looking forward to it. When you speculate that you might be the first destructive heel tag team of BG East, you do realize that Kid Leopard and Kid Vicious teamed up in one of the early Tag Team Torture series, don’t you? Because if you’re calling out KV and KL to a heel-off, I’m there with popcorn!

Ash: Damn, you caught me in my BG East history lesson! I’m going to be honest, I have always wanted to step onto the mats against either, or both of them! And however that plays out, I would be quite content. It would be such a raunchy and dirty battle! Just the way I like it! Wouldn’t that be a fight for the ages?

Bard: It’d be epic, my friend! Seriously, I need a front row seat to that match! You know I’m going to be reaching out to KV and KL and telling them that you’re calling them out, just to try to stir that pot to a rolling boil!

Ash: (laughing) Go ahead man! I have taken on plenty of sadistic dudes and bruisers in my career. I won’t back down at that chance, either!

Bard: Excellent. I never tap into my inner heel quite so fully as when I’m stirring up shit between other people. I expect to see you in a Kid Leopard kiss-of-death within moments of the quarantine being lifted! I’d like to return to a topic you and I have had a couple of times in the past, if you don’t mind. It seems like your first love is really gut punching. My first love is, honestly, homoerotic wrestling itself, which obviously overlaps with gut punching extensively. But is it the same kink, do you think? What do you see as the relationship between the two?

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Ash: I never mind talking about my kinks! Especially in gut punching! I will start with saying, like most did, I had a certain “fascination” with watching the hunks on WWE when I was a wee lad. So back when I was a preteen, I always knew I had this…. special kind of lust for abs. It’s obviously my favorite muscle group on a man. But, my lust for it was much deeper. Even my 12-year-old self knew that. I knew that even before I accepted that I am gay. And my favorite expression I wanted to do onto a sixpack was punch it. I felt so odd, but the wonderful World Wide Web showed me that there are many others with the same interest. As I grew up, and I surfed the web, I found 3 specific videos that…peaked my interest. First, was a legendary video clip from Gutbash 5with KV and Steve Thomas. Second, a clip of that sexy Drake being gut punched in NRW. And third, Axel versus JR, in one of UCW’s first videos. I definitely don’t think they are the same kink though, although they have many similarities, but the energies of the heel and jobber versus puncher and punchee are similar, as well. The control in those dynamics definitely turns me on.

0138_lg — Pounding control over Richie Douglas in It’s Rough for Refs

Bard: That makes total sense. I certainly find some solid punching in the context of a match to be provocative. I think I veer toward the other side of the coin, though, if I think about the difference between a punch to the abs and an abdominal claw. I think the claw turns me on more because the contact lingers. The application of pain lingers. The punch, even a series of punches, are like punctuation marks to me, but the story is in the intimacy of the wrestling holds.

Ash: I love how you compared the ab claw and a gut punch! I will say, I think there is a way to make the gut punching sequences quite erotic, at least, in my opinion. See, it’s all about the set up to the punch, that is, teasing the abs by slowly rubbing my fist against his abs, before the hit. Sometimes distract them with groping or even a lip lock before bringing that fist into the sweet spot! I will saw I will prefer a good ol’ ball claw over an ab claw (shocking I know).

Bard: I think I get that. It’s much more than the punch itself. The prelude, the rising tension, anticipation, whether they’re anticipating what actually comes or not. I don’t think I quite got that control and domination side of gut punching!

Ash: That’s exactly what I am talking about! I’m glad I helped shed light on the dynamics! At least on my end, I am sure not every gut punch enthusiast has the same ideology on the fetish, but I hope some do!

0426_lg — Digging deep into Steve Mason in Backyard Brawls 11

Bard: Tell me more about what you prefer about a ball claw.

Ash: Now, I will say CBT and ball busting did grow, with a big thanks to BG East in that regard. Particularly, Ball Bash 2 with Jonny Firestorm and Reese Wells. God that was a hot match. But my attraction to ball busting is this: it’s the easiest method to get your opponent to bend to your will and make him crumble in your grasp. That’s why ball claws are one of my favorite “holds” in erotic wrestling. So as you fans may have seen from my match against Nathan Sargent, I am pretty good at ball bashing, too! Who knows, maybe I’ll be known for making a legendary ball bash match on the BG East catalog, too. I have already been told my Gut Bash against Kenny Starr was something to remember. That has also been one of my biggest BG East accomplishments, too! Along with giving Jonny Firestorm and Kid Vicious the biggest smile during a match I filmed, not too long ago, with me as the heel working over a jobber. I was so happy when I saw that… while staying in my heel character, of course (laughing).

Bard: Oh, fuck yes, Reese Wells was a revelation in Ball Bash 2! I don’t think I’d ever really thought of someone getting off on getting their balls bashed before watching little Reese’s cock so visibly rise to that occasion. Crotch Crushers 1 was a similar epiphany for me, with the added benefit of seeing Mitch Colby and Derek DaSilva so beautifully marry punishment and pleasure.

h0914_lg — Muscle taming ball busting in Crotch Crushers

Ash: Yes, Derek Dasilva looked like a fun guy to beat on! Reese Wells has been a dream opponent of mine actually. I have quite a few of those.

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Bard: You know, of course, what else I’d bet would make Kid Vicious smile during a match? It’d be you and Kayden taking some serious lessons from the masters!

Ash: I love that idea! You are thinking of Kayden and I taking on Kid Leopard and Kid Vicious?

Bard: Yep, that would be golden!

Ash: That would be a freaking treat! I bet Kayden would be more than down for that too! Even if it means we get beaten (laughing).

Bard: I offer to referee. And I’d be a totally corrupt ref, just so you know.

Ash: Oh, yeah? Something tells me you would be on their side then and get a few licks in.

Bard: I’d have an idea of how things should play out, but I’ll leave it at that. You’d have to see which side of the scales I’d have my thumb on. Anything more you can reveal about your recent heel match that made the veterans smile, without the need for a spoiler alert?

Ash: I’ll say this much. It was a match with a rookie on the roster that I brought in recently. He made a big splash at BG East already, but since he and I have already gotten acquainted prior to him joining BG East… let’s say it translated very well on film. Also I am hoping it wins best lip lock for the next annual awards, but I would say fans should expect it to be one of the most brutal, yet sensual matches I have done to date for BG East!

Bard: What a teaser! I love it. I’ll be waiting breathlessly for it to come out. You also bring up another topic I’d love to hear more from you about. Lip locks. What elements make for a perfect wrestling kiss?

h0417_lg — Little Luke is sealed with a kiss.

Ash: I have to really think about this one because it seems so natural to me; and that might be the reason. I usually only do a lip lock when it is natural. My energy and my opponent’s energy has to be on the same level, or at least to some degree. I think the best match that has captured that from my releases so far has been in the Three-Way Thrash with both Luke and Kayden. There is a lot of power in a kiss, just as powerful as a gut punch or a ball claw; it’s just a different kind of power. I guess I would say it’s that double-edged sword effect. A good lip lock sucks the fighting energy between the two wrestlers, even if it’s for a moment. Until one of those wrestlers realizes it’s their time to either strike again, or turn the tables. There have been plenty of times where it has either worked in my favor, or allowed my opponent to get a chance to get me on my back. And honestly, regardless of the outcome of a lip lock, I can never get enough of them!

Bard: You’ve definitely convinced me that I need to get my hands on that three-way!

Ash: Glad I sold you on it! I have a feeling you will enjoy it.

Bard: Before I let you go, can you tell me what’s the sexiest thing a homoerotic wrestling fan can do with his time when the world is in quarantine from a global pandemic?

Ash: The sexiest thing a fan can do is support his favorite wrestlers/wrestling companies. Because like everyone else, we will not be able to film for some time. For example, I was actually set to film for BG East next week, but obviously that got cancelled. So supporting is sexy to me. Help keep the business you enjoy alive! I have been doing it, too!

Bard: Whatever the world looks like after we’re past the pandemic, I desperately hope there’s a vital homoerotic wrestling industry in it! I have a year’s worth of new releases to catch up on, so I’ll do my part. I hope everyone who reads this interview will renew their support by purchasing a new wrestling match to add to their collections, too. And now, more than ever, buy from the source. We’ve got to support our wrestlers and gay producers!

Ash: That’s was amazing, man, thank you so much. So happy to have you back on the scene!

Bard: Thanks for being my first interview back!

Ash: My absolute pleasure.

Ode to OTK

August 23, 2018 wrestlebard

It’s been a long time since I composed a post devoted solely to admiring a particular wrestling hold. I’ve been recently obsessing once again over my favorite wrestling hold, the over-the-knee backbreaker.

Even the set up for this hold is sexy, as Grant Connors digs his fingers into Carson Crawford’s hot ass.

It’s such a massively dominating move. The pitcher often literally cradles the catcher like a child in his arms, clutching him across his chest, and then drops to one knee, pounding his opponent’s back across his thigh. I love the geography of this hold. The victim splayed out, his vulnerable core stretched wide, legs and upper body pressed backward such that he can’t assume the instinctive duck and cover defensive position to protect his internal organs.

Kelly King busts Kirk’s back like a boss.

I catch myself gasping in awe at high impact OTKs. There’s a raw, primal, intensely arousing aspect to watching a dominant hunk seriously pound his opponent down with authority, his knee driving viciously into the helpless stud’s spine. It’s magnificent drama when he scoops him directly back up across his chest, standing tall and hoisting the victim high to repeat the move again. And again. Total domination.

Ty’s helplessness make’s Coop’s muscle seem that much more massive.

I also also love an OTK punisher with big, bulging pecs flexing powerfully, his face hovering so close to his opponent’s muscled torso and quivering crotch. Stretched out on his back, the victim of an OTK is flattened, the topography of his physique stretched out and impotent, in contrast to the flaring shoulders and pumped pecs of his tormentor.

Mr. Joshua digs deep into Chace LaChance.

Then there are the subtle variations and innovations that dial up the inherent eroticism of this hold in a homoerotic context. The stolen moments to take advantage of the victim’s helplessness, sadistically brutalizing muscled abs and pecs. Not content to just torture his spine, the man in charge pounds fists, drives in elbows, perhaps digs his finger tips into defenseless muscle and wear him out from every angle.

Ace Aarons handles Richie’s rocks

Richie’s balls demand Mason’s attention as well.

An OTK seems paradigmatically gay (or at least bicurious) when the dominant hunk pays serious attention to that tempting bulge at the apex of his opponent’s bridge. Frankly it doesn’t often go there even in homoerotic wrestling, but every OTK seems like a head nod to those sensational moments when a wrestler leans forward and sucks his opponent’s nipple, seductively slides the palm of his hand possessively across his lower abs, and appreciatively throttles and fondles his arching cock. That’s the heart of homoerotic wrestling for me, with the purpose of the battle to determine who gets to take possession of whose body.

Calvin’s muscle melt

Mitch stiff and in agony

I’m fascinated watching muscled hunks sell this hold. Clearly some wrestlers are built a lot more for strength than flexibility. A stiff, tabletop OTK actually works for me because it looks like it hurts just that much more. When a muscle laden stud doesn’t really have much of a lower back arch to bend across his opponent’s thigh, it also just seems that much more humiliating. But there’s nothing quite as arousing as watching a flexible hunk melt into the hold, bridging dramatically, as if his muscles are draped across a hanger. The submissiveness, the giving himself over blindly to man who’s claimed his body, is golden.

My gratitude to all of the homoerotic wrestlers who have recently fed my craving for OTK hotness. For those moments when you’ve reached through your opponents legs and cupped his beefy ass in the palm of your hand, I salute you. For your graceful bridge and packed, quivering bulge gasping in anticipation of whatever is to come at the mercy of your opponent, I applaud you. I realize this hold is not exactly intuitive to pull off, and for many of you it’s downright awkward as fuck to sell, so I appreciate the gorgeous erotic art of your human sculpture just that much more.

“Centerpiece this!”

June 15, 2018 wrestlebard3 Comments

Holy crap! It’s been a month since I had a chance to post anything. Time flies when life is full and busy. I have managed to squeeze in a little time writing a few match descriptions for the new release of BG East’s catalog 128. So even if you don’t know it, you very well may be reading some of my writing in that format. As so often happens with big pauses in my blogging, I’m now facing a backlog of intentions and plans. I’ll do my best to backfill, but hot new wrestling releases wait for no blogger.

With that in mind, I want to describe the sweat soaked pleasure it was to watch one of my longstanding obsessions climb into the ring again in the new release of Ringwars 29: Steeped in Sweat. Honestly, all it took was watching Mitch Colby stretching before the match to get me dizzyingly aroused. Over the years we’ve seen Mitch in various states of fitness. There is no version of him that fails to turn me on, mind you, but in RW29, he is mind bogglingly gorgeous, primed and pumped, tanned and toned, with mile wide shoulders and an impossibly narrow waist like Clark Kent at a day at the beach.

0106_lg — You can afford to be chill when you look this hot!

There’s something coolly majestic about Mitch. I suppose if you look like he does, and you’ve hammered your rockin’ muscles so sweetly out on your 6’2″ frame, you can afford to be chill as fuck. He’s self-possessed and confident, this side of cockiness. I always get the impression that Mitch wants a challenge. He gets a little contemptuous if it’s too easy. Mitch appreciates serious competition. He wants to prove himself.

“Serious” is not a word that jumps to the front of the line when Jobe Zander struts into the ring room. Fuck, I hate this guy. And by hate, I mean, fuck, I ache to see someone beat the living shit out of him and strip him naked. He’s always a contender for biggest bulge in the business. And he enthusiastically puts his most prominent feature forward in every match, calling attention to “the Centerpiece,” and taking every opportunity to shove his massive package in an opponent’s face. Jobe is loud and over the top and almost comical, which is clearly his modus operandi. He struts and barks and presents himself almost as a caricature of the narcissist pro wrestler, invariably disarming his opponent who struggles to take him seriously.

Do NOT fail to take Jobe Zander seriously! Mitch learns what most of Jobe’s opponent’s learn. Underestimate him at your peril. He takes it to the beach body beefcake with authority, and I love watching Mitch struggling to dig himself out of a hole. Even before the low blows and dirty tricks take over the narrative, Jobe quickly outhustles my fitness model infatuation and works him over like a boss.

As is almost always the case, inexplicably, it’s Jobe who’s first to attack his opponent’s balls. I’ve got all sorts of feels about watching him claw the fuck out of Mitch’s bulge. First and foremost, just getting a feel of what Mitch is packing is a vicarious thrill. In particular, this reach through the legs from behind with a subtle twisting chaser is as if I’m remote controlling Jobe. Mitch, with his glistening, superhuman muscles quivering in agony and whimpering, is a work of art. But I’m also rolling my eyes at this move because you know, for a fact, what happens next when Jobe, possessing arguably the most massive crotch in competition, flings open the door of crotch attacks.

0146_lg — “What’s wrong, can’t take your own medicine?”

That shit just got real, now, didn’t it, Jobe? I’ve been taken to task before for crushing hard on a classic babyface disciplining a vile heel. But I can’t help it. Sometimes I want to see an earnest, magnificently muscled jock slap a loudmouth cheater down and make him regret it all. I know, I’m such a mark. When I’m pounding one out in ecstasy watching Mitch make the previously cocky bad boy weep and beg, I don’t give a shit. These two hunks can manipulate me any way they want.

Jobe make SUCH a huge deal of his HUGE deal, it’s no wonder that, yet again, this match really becomes all about “the Centerpiece.” He shoves it in Mitch’s face. He demands that the hunky heart throb pay homage to the legend that is straining the seams of Jobe’s pouch. “The tide has turned, Mitch the Bitch,” Jobe snarls down atop the schoolboy pin, smothering Mitch in his ball gag. “I’m the Centerpiece here,” he monologues like a Batman villain. “Nothing can stop me now!”

It turns out, a 6’2″ fitness competitor in the best shape of his life can, actually, stop Jobe Zander. Mitch milks the babyface retribution to perfection. He scolds Jobe mercilessly for his greed and self-centeredness. He punishes him brutally, employing all of those stunningly gorgeous muscles to accomplish the task of dominating and destroying this quite serious competition. It’s not as if it had to go this way. It’s not as if Mitch is, by his nature, hell bent on humiliating and bullying an opponent. He’s just cashing that check that Jobe’s been writing all along, piling on complete domination to not just beat him, but to disprove every taunt and brag and unnecessary act of poor sportsmanship along the way. “How about that for a Centerpiece,” Mitch demands to know, resting his balls on Jobe’s chin and anointing his own big bulge the new title holder.

There are a lot of familiar components to this match, if you’ve watch many of Jobe’s more recent bouts. But there are a few delightful innovations in this pairing that I have to mention. One such innovation is that Jobe makes Mitch scream. I mean, really scream. Mitch typically is the type to screw up his face and put a cork in it when he’s suffering hard. Agony paralyzes and gags him most days. But when Jobe really cranks on his balls, crushing and twisting and dragging him around the ring by them, Mitch lets loose with some crotch tingling screeches of pain. Fuck, I love that chink in the muscleman’s armor.

The other notable part that I want to mention is all the trunk pulling. It’s like Mitch knows how much I’ve been wanting someone to finally rip Jobe’s trunks off and show us what the heel has been teasing for years now. That doesn’t quite happen, despite my longing. Nor does Mitch bend him over the top rope with Jobe’s anaconda in his hand and Mitch’s manhood up Jobe’s round ass. But both wrestlers give us peekaboo glimpses of the underworld, dragging each other around by a fist full of trunks and showing off just a little of the astonishing beauty both men criminally cover up with their gear.

Mitch’s bearhugs are sexy as fuck. If watching his gargantuan deltoids flex and swell as he crushes his wailing opponent suspended a foot off the ground doesn’t get you off, then it is a complete enigma to me why you would read this blog.

This match pushes a ton of my buttons, so if we share any buttons, I recommend you tuck in. My infatuation with magnificent Mitch has only grown with his latest display of his power and beauty. If the wrestling gods ever bother to hear our prayers, then please, oh PLEASE, let’s see Mitch pit his mouthwatering muscles again another longstanding infatuation of mine, Scott Williams. That would be the headliner match to the “Masters Division” matches I’ve been fantasizing about for so long now.

And the Nominees Are…

January 8, 2018 wrestlebard5 Comments

The first half of the BG East Besties ballot never seems to generate as much controversy as the second half. Turning our focus on individual wrestlers seems to incite even more fevered debates about tastes and types and loyalties. BGE has gone six deep for each category, so there’s bound to be someone for everyone to fight over. Definitely don’t just take my word for who you should vote for, but by all means, vote. And in case you aren’t sure who you want to rally behind, feel free to take some inspiration from how I see things.

8. Top Heel

Last year Jonny Firestorm brought home the title as Best Heel at BG East. Jonny has owned this category for quite a while. The only time he hasn’t won, he wasn’t nominated, in which case Kid Karisma stepped up at grabbed the ring. This year pits these two legendary heels against each other and an equally diverse field of styles, attitudes, and interpretations of the word “heel.”

Cole Cassidy
Jonny Firestorm
Lane Hartley
Kid Karisma
Kayden Keller
Kid Vicious

What a field! I’m punching an enthusiastic button for the increasingly rare opportunity to vote for the legendary heel, Kid Vicious. Although he only appeared in one product this year, it was classic KV, through and through. No one else on this list takes nearly as much erotic pleasure making an opponent suffer. My second choice would see Kayden Keller jump the line ahead of both Jonny and Kid Karisma. Kayden has become one of the hardest working wrestlers in homoerotic wrestling, and like KV, he’s growing increasingly comfortable in the role of the erotic sadist. I’m guessing that the popular vote may still break Jonny or Kid Karisma’s way, and obviously they deserve the heel-appreciation. But as for me, KV remains in a league of his own, with Kayden quickly filling the void left by KV’s sparser and sparser appearances in the ring.

9. Top Babyface

The field for top babyface highlights how these awards reflect so much more about the fans than the wrestlers. Some of these guys I wouldn’t classify as babyfaces. Past winners like Biff Farrell and Jake Jenkins are as absent from the poll as they were scarce in new releases this year. So one of these guys is going to take the title for the first time:

Gil Barrios
Mitch Colby
Kirk Donahue
Richie Douglas
Payton Meadows
Zip Zarella

As with the heel category, I’m picking a dark horse candidate for as much sentimental reasons as anything else. Mitch Colby epitomizes the erotic-forward babyface that can only inhabit the world of homoerotic wrestling. His epic dismantling of the legendary heel Cage Thunder demonstrates perfectly the distinction that I think so many fans struggle with in distinguishing between a hot jobber and a babyface. And as his opponent has acknowledged, Mitch was in the best shape of his life for that match. I do think it’s criminal that Christian Taylor did not make the ballot. If pressed for a second place, I’d probably go for Richie Douglas. I’m uncertain what character type Zip Zarella is growing into, but he could easily get my vote for top babyface or top heel with a couple more matches under his belt to signal his underlying moral compass. This category seems wide open for predicting a popular vote getter, but I’m thinking things could swing Richie or Mitch’s way.

10. Jobber of the Year

There’s some serious range in interpretations of a jobber among the field for Jobber of the Year. Last year’s winner Ty Alexander is back in the offing, despite his pretty decisive heel turn this year. In fact, I think at least of couple of the nominees this year lack that inevitability about them that I expect to see in a jobber. Take a look at what I’m talking about:

Ty Alexander
Trey Dixon
Kirk Donahue
Charlie Evans
Drake Marcos
Van Skyler

On the one hand, I do love watching Kirk Donahue get his awardless ass beat again and again. But honestly, the perfect depiction of a jobber is Drake’s match trying to reinvent himself as El Favorito. El Favorito is Drake’s acknowledgment that he’s a jobber, that he’s destined to get plowed under, despite his impeccable skills. Perhaps with a new name, Drake muses that he can start over as something other than a jobber. And then Thrash thrashes him like the jobber he is, in or out of a mask, under any name. If I were a betting man, I’d guess that Ty, despite openly acknowledging on tape that he is no longer a jobber, may take this again because… social media.

11. Debut of the Year

There was some insane, out of the blue drama a few months back with last year’s Debut of the Year winner, Beauxregard. The category is, by no means, a guarantee of success or respect. In some ways I think Ty Alexander may be the exception when it comes to parlaying the Debut of the Year award into a solid BGE career platform. Beaux, Kip Sorell, Eli Black… it may be possible that this is a “peaked too soon” award for most (though, of course, I’m always hoping to see Eli elevate his BGE game). So this year’s nominees should beware, take nothing for granted. Winning Debut of the Year is, at best, just the start of your hard work on the way to success. The newbies who should heed this warning include…

Ace Aarons
Ash DeLeon
Bruno LaBestia
Steve Mason
Toney Rico
Zip Zarella

I’m a huge backer of most of these guys, so this is another tough call for me. When push comes to shove, I’m casting my vote for one of the classiest acts to jump over from indy pro success, Ace Aarons. Ace had the skills to turn the stink bomb of Luke Lonza into a relatively satisfying squash, because he took seriously what Luke apparently couldn’t. I’m particularly impressed with his most recent mat match, laced with tons of sweat and lust, with fellow nominee Ash DeLeon. An indy pro who successfully translates his skill set to the mat and to an erotic text is quite an impressive debut, indeed! A second place pic for me would be a close call between Ash (who suffered from having only one match published for his debut year) or Zip Zarella (who classes up the place like Ace, but without the erotic twist).

12. Best Abs

2017 provided a feast for six-pack lovers. Last year’s winner Chace LaChance failed to make the cut, and personally I think it’s largely because the competition was so spectacular this year. Also absent were previous award winners Z-Man and Eli Black. So this is another category where someone new is guaranteed to take home the trophy this year. The possible breakout abdominal stars are…

Carter Alexander
Devon Britt-Darby
Mitch Colby
Richie Douglas
Kid Karisma
Payton Meadows

Everyone’s a winner in this category, but when I cast my ballot, I’m going to vote for Payton Meadows. Every inch of Payton is dazzlingly gorgeous, but his abs are exceptionally ripped, balanced, and abs-olutely beautiful. Please, please, please let us see more of him (in every sense of the word) next year. His releases are far too far in between. Second place for me this year is, astonishingly, not Kid K. It was Carter Alexander’s superhuman core that was the standout star of his squash against Kayden, and as I said earlier, his side tat screams for worshiping his sweaty eight-pack. Playing the odds, I’d guess that Richie Douglas could take the title in the popular voting this year, though I never count out Kid K.

13. Best Bulge

After years of there being one standout each season for best bulge, this is suddenly one of the most competitive categories. Last year’s winner, Kirk Donahue, is back to defend his title. Mr. Joshua, who wasn’t nominated last year but has owned the title more often than not, is back in contention. Cage Thunder’s throbbing rod not only blazed to full glory, but got used and abused by his babyface nemesis. And then there was the collective gasp throughout the homoerotic wrestling world when Steve Mason’s debut revealed one of the biggest power tools I’ve ever seen. The full slate looks like this…

Ace Aarons
Kirk Donahue
Joshua Goodman
Steve Mason
Cage Thunder
Jobe Zander

I’m sticking with Mr. J in this year’s vote. His bulge continues to be so huge that it gets in the way of his wrestling. He continually has to adjust the packing. It walks into a room about 5 seconds before Mr. J does. And Cole Cassidy managed to display Mr. J’s legendary bulge from entirely new angles this year. I’ve got my eye on Steve Mason’s leviathan, though. I think there’s a chance I might be in the middle of the normal curve this time, and the popular vote might also swing to Mr. Joshua, though I wouldn’t be surprised to see Steve knock the competition out of his way with that billy club of his.

14. Best Butt

This is always one of the most hotly debated categories. I’ve already seen a certain nominee launch a full scale social media campaign to finally take home this trophy after coming in second place last year. Here’s who you get to pick from…

Ty Alexander
Gil Barrios
Kirk Donahue
Kid Karisma
Noah Samson
Van Skyler

I’m more ambivalent about my vote than in past years, but honestly, who am I kidding? I’m voting for Kid Karisma’s phenomenal glutes again. They’re perfect. Magnificent, functional muscles resting atop those massive upper legs. Damn. A second place for me would be either Ty or the epic last minute debut of Noah Samson. Holy fuck, Noah’s ass is unbelievable. Not as tightly muscled and powerful, but aesthetically a work of art. I keep expecting Ty’s social media campaign to pull the rug out from beneath Kid K’s long ownership of this title. Perhaps this will be year Ty can sway a majority of voters to take their eyes off of Kid K’s glorious ass.

15. Best Body

I was so thrilled last year, after years of promoting the obvious physical perfection of Kid Karisma, that I was finally joined by a majority of voters. This year’s field is, as always, hot competition to try to wrest this oft-traded title away:

Carter Alexander
Mitch Colby
Richie Douglas
Kid Karisma
Payton Meadows
Van Skyler

For my vote, this is a horse race between Kid Karisma and Peyton Meadows. I’d give Payton the edge for his pecs and abs, and Kid K the advantage for arms and shoulders. But the balance of power tilts on Kid K’s full, muscular leg development (including the often overlooked calves). So I’m inclined to, once again, worship at the feet of Kid K as the Best Body at BG East in 2017. Just to confirm my evaluation, I’d love to see these two physical specimens side by side… and then on top of each other, pounding into each other, squeezing, shoving, and grinding each other. As for who the popular vote will tilt toward, I most frequently guess this one wrong. But my (probably wrong) guess this year is that it will go to Kid K or, perhaps, Van, though I do think Payton is slowly accumulating an audience of gasping fans (in addition to me), with the slow trickle of his new releases over time.

This was a spectacular slate of nominees, and I’m not just saying that because I was on the nominating committee. In fact, several of my top choices changed as a result of seeing the official ballot and being reminded by other nominators of choice contenders that deserved a second look. In the coming days, I’ll keep reflecting on categories that aren’t reflected on the official ballots, but matter a lot to me. In the mean time, give your best argument (respectfully) for your votes in the comments below.

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