The Best: Classics

Honestly, I keep delaying writing this post because of the real possibility that, by the time I’m done writing, the lead will have changed yet again in the reader poll to decide between Mikey Vee and Ace Hanson. There have been more than a dozen changes in the lead over the past two days. It’s been close from the start. I thought Mikey was going to edge out the victory at the end of voting on day one. Then yesterday morning, the vote was tied when I woke up and checked the poll. Over the course of the day yesterday, Mikey kept trying to pull ahead, but Ace persistently clawed back to a tie over and over again. And lo and behold, this morning I arise to discover the classic, hard bodied muscle hunk to eek out the victory in the bitter, bitter end is Ace Hanson with 51.8% of the vote!

Ace Hanson: The Best

I feel pretty certain that, should voting continue, these two beautiful badasses would be locked in a give and take, back and forth in perpetuity. And, on the one hand, I feel like that’s the perfect climax to this series. Yet, I feel like I need to call it, as arbitrarily as it may be, handing Playgirl centerfold, gay porn muscle god, and fucking brutally dominant homoerotic wrestling heel Ace the title. Tuck in and read David’s description of how he sees the match in the comments to the original post (back when Mikey was holding onto a lead). Personally, I think of this vote as the wrestling equivalent of two devastatingly vicious heels pulling out all the stops and just not able to put each other out. Both muscle gods defy belief by surviving finisher after finisher. Mikey tries to break Ace’s back and balls in a crotch claw torture rack, bouncing up and down and twisting his testicles. Ace screams and writhes, but he refuses to submit. After Mikey gives up on the torture rack, Ace battles back, scoops Mikey up and pounds him down in an OTK backbreaker, exacting revenge by beating the fuck out his bobbing cock and balls. Mikey wails, but won’t concede. When Ace flings Mikey off his knee with contempt, Mikey roars back into contention with a knee to the gut that bends Ace over, Mikey snapping his hugely muscled quads around Ace’s head, tugging his huge cock in excited anticipation, and then hoists Ace off his feet, suspended upside down, and delivers a spine tingling pile driver. Ace’s sweat soaked body twitches and spasms, his eyes rolled up in the back of his head. But when Mikey lifts and drops Ace’s right arm to confirm that he knocked him out, Ace’s tenuous hold on consciousness denies him the victory. A stunning jab at Mikey’s balls puts them both back at neutral, but it’s Ace who grabs the initiative first by sliding Mikey’s head between his tree trunk thighs and presses his tibia squarely across his opponent’s throat in a padlocked crotch pillow figure-4 chokehold. Mikey starts bucking and writhing in panic, clawing at Ace’s crushing legs, struggling futilely to reach behind him to land a last chance blow at Ace’s juicy cock, now fully erect and grinding into the back of Mikey’s head. Ace bats his hands away, squeezing Mikey’s throat even harder. “It’s over, mother fucker!” Ace barks victoriously. Mikey groans deep in his chest, no more than a trickle of oxygen permitting him to hold his grip on consciousness. Mikey’s hips rise off of the mat, his lower back arched, and he grabs hold of his own rock hard cock stretched toward the ceiling at the apex of his bridge. Ace laughs at his opponent’s utter humiliation, flexing his biceps like a boss as he watches Mikey jack his meat harder and faster. Mikey can’t help himself. He can’t stop himself. He’s never met an opponent like Ace before, who can take everything Mikey can give and still button Mikey up like an underclassman. Mikey shoots a jet of cum across his washboard ups, splattering his bulging pecs and chin. Mikey’s hips finally crash to the mat in exhaustion, seconds before he slips out of consciousness and remains blissfully unaware as Ace lifts and drops Mikey’s slack, cum soaked right hand three times to confirm the knockout and the victory.


Thanks to everyone for voting, and thanks for the comments, particularly David’s fabulously sexy and extensive narratives. And congratulations to the classic homoerotic wrestling hunk champion who managed to swoop in in the end and claim the title of The Best!

The Battle to Be the Best: Classics – extra innings

Woah. Before I went to sleep last night I checked the Be the Best poll, and Mikey Vee was in the lead, but Ace Hanson was hot on his heels. It seemed like a close battle all day yesterday, but it looked like Mikey was going to hold off Ace’s persistent push to take down the champ. When I woke up this morning, the poll was tied!  Fuck, this is the perfect way to pound out the climactic final match of this To Be the Best Classic homoerotic wrestling star competition. Even this morning, a few votes have teetered the title back and forth, like a wrestling match 25 minutes in, both hunks soaked in sweat, exhausted, stripped of their gear and hanging on desperately to their reputations as muscle hunk badasses.  Rather than call the match prematurely, I’ll keep the poll open a while longer to see if Mikey or Ace can open up a little distance and finally put away the last man standing in the way of final victory.

In the mean time, I thought I’d share some inspiration to see if it can sway any of you fence-sitters. First, here are just a few of the reasons Mikey Vee has been a force of nature in homoerotic wrestling for over a decade. He’s got the face of a Hollywood leading man, the body of a superhuman porn muscle top, and the serious-as-a-heart-attack sadistic will to dominate. But let’s face it, it’s that solid beef ass of his that sets Mikey apart from almost any opponent. Take a look at a few more angles of the defending champ, Mikey Vee:

Before you sign up for team Mikey, though, you should also take a look at Ace in all his glory. If you think he looks like a Playgirl centerfold, you’d be right. If you think he looks like a gay porn muscle god, you’d be right. If you think he’d be a fucking steel-core bulldozer as a homoerotic wrestler, you’d be right. Take a look at Ace’s bid to earn your vote as the Best of the Best:

Does that give you any more clarity about who you want to vote for? There are no losers in a muscle match up like this one. Well, except for the hard core muscle hunk who’s going to get beat down, worked over, dominated and humiliated into a could-have-been runner up. But absolutely everyone else, particularly you and I, are winners. If you haven’t already, vote now!

The Battle to Be the Best: Classics

Flex’s magnificent muscles, gorgeous proportions, and porn-ready cock were not enough to knock Mikey Vee’s legendary muscle ass off of the BBB throne. The poll turned into the wrestling equivalent of a heel beatdown against a stubborn opponent unaccustomed to getting steamrolled. David once again narrated a ton of the action in the comments, and it’s a dizzyingly sexy, “full-contact” (to say the least) muscle massacre. Personally, I picture the climactic moment with Mikey’s naked ass smothering Flex, flat on his back, in the middle of the ring. Mikey hooks one of his opponent’s legs and folds him up, pinning him solidly and really planting his face deep up Mikey’s massive glutes. Of course, pins mean nothing, so Mikey grabs Flex’s battered balls with his free hand and twists hard. Flex probably submits, but there’s nothing but muffled grunts and whimpers from deep up Mikey’s cavernous crack. The grunts and whimpers finally grow silent. Still perched on his face, Mikey lifts and drops Flex’s right hand three times, confirming that the Can-Am gladiator is out for good.

So today is the final match in this round of the Battle to Be the Best, classics edition. There are so many more classic homoerotic wrestling stars who probably deserve a crack at the title, but with only one last spot, I’ve sweated over the choice of just one classic hunk to get the chance to unseat Mikey. Honestly, Mikey mowed through most of the classic hunks at BGE in his career, so I’m casting the net wider for the last contender. I’ve settled on giving this last shot to Ace Hanson aka Eric Reins of Thunders Arena and Can-Am/JetSet fame. Devastatingly pretty and deadly dangerous, Ace never made it to the BGE roster, which made a full throttle muscle match against Mikey merely hypothetical. So here’s his likely one-and-only chance to tap Mikey’s legendary ass and swoop in at the last second to claim the title of the Best of the Best.

On the left, BGE’s babyface beast Mikey Vee (5’11”, 185 pounds) vs. on the right, Can-Am & Thunders Arena’s beautiful badass Ace Hanson (6′, 220 pounds).

In the ring, no rules, only a submission or knockout matters. One of these two magnificent musclemen can win the Battle to Be the Best. You decide by voting here, and comment below to describe the climactic end to this brutal elimination series.

The Battle to Be the Best: Classics

It was another decisive victory and an anointing of a new champ in the Battle to Be the Best. Dominic “The Dominator” Zacarro’s designs on being legend-killer-in-residence didn’t stand a chance against the legendary brutality of badass Mikey Vee. The voting was brisk, but it was the wrestling equivalent of some solid back and forth in the opening moments, before Mikey kicked it into overdrive and plowed big Dom under hard. Read David’s blow by blow in the comments section of the poll (note, not the comments of the blog post, but rather the poll itself), featuring ball pounding, Dom tied in the ropes, and Mikey milking out sweet revenge for Dom’s brutal humiliation of Mikey’s tag team partner. Like David, I picture the final moments of this brutal muscle battle naked. Dom is fading fast, his gargantuan muscles twitching in exhaustion. Mikey has to work just a little to wrangle Dom’s massive physique, but finally manhandles the Dominator into an abdominal stretch. Dom whimpers in agony, until Mikey slides his hand down Dom’s sweaty, twisted abs and grabs Dom’s huge Italian sausage (David’s term), wringing it out and eliciting a yelp of panic from the big man. Dom is toasted, but refuses to pass the title on. Mikey throws him down to the mat, hooks Dom’s ankles under his armpits and squats his epically muscled ass into Dom’s lower back, applying a sick Boston crab. Big D screams like a bitch, sucking on the pain no more than 10 seconds before slapping the mat repeatedly and screaming his submission. Mikey smiles with satisfaction, but releases only Dom’s right leg. Still trussed up in a single leg crab, Mikey reaches down through his legs with his left hand, slowly wrapping his fingers around the base of Dom’s big, battered balls. “And this is for disrespecting my boo, Mike,” Mikey growls, twisting D’s balls as the former champ screams and weeps.

We’ve reached the penultimate match-up in this Battle to Be the Best, and Mikey Vee looks about as strong in the polls as he is in the ring. Thus far the BG East boys have completely dominated the competition, but I feel like it would be an injustice not to give one of Can-Am’s most dominant, legendary classic stars his shot at an extramural upset. Tom Flex had one of the sexiest bodies and, in particular, most sensational cock’s to make an appearance in a wrestling ring. I think of this as a battle of aesthetics and grace (Flex) squaring off against brute force and viciousness (Vee). What do you think?

On the left, defending champ and BGE’s babyfaced beast Mikey Vee (5’11”, 185 pounds) vs. on the right, Can-Am’s aesthetic athlete Tom Flex (6’1″, 205 pounds).

In the ring, no ref, with nothing but a submission or knockout standing in the way of one of these classic homoerotic wrestling stars advancing to the final match to determine who is the Best of the Best. Vote here, and comment below the sexy details playing out in your imagination.


The Battle to Be the Best: Classics

Dom Zacarro defended his claim to be the best, and his reputation as a legend killer, by pulling out a decisive victory over Mark Wolff. It’s the wrestling equivalent of a match that starts out competitively, but then about halfway through Dom starts steamrolling Mark until he’s in total control. You’ve got to read David’s blow-by-blow on that match in the comments. So fucking sexy! The OTK backbreaker beating the fuck out of Mark’s six-pack abs and double-fisted manhandling of Mark’s monster cock, alternating cock-punching and jacking him off, is what technically puts Dom over. But his post-victory tagging of Mark’s bulging pecs with Dom’s celebratory ejaculation is a sweet, sweet touch.

I’ve heard from readers predicting that big Dom may be unbeatable, which is fascinating when you consider his all-too-brief tenure in homoerotic wrestling. Calling him a legend killer is major inspiration for fan favorite legends to nip Dom’s ascendency in the bud before the Italian muscleman’s ego can swell as big as his gargantuan muscles. BGE’s Mikey Vee is the next classic fan favorite to step into the fray, both to be the best and to take revenge for Dom’s humiliation of Mikey’s former tag team partner, Mike Columbo. Mikey’s tenure in homoerotic wrestling is long, storied, and utterly dominating, but he’s stepping into the ring with Dom in his early career incarnation, with a full head of hair, granite carved torso, and truly legendary, luxuriously muscled ass.

On the left, defending champ Dominic “The Dominator” Zacarro (6′, 205 pounds) vs. on the right, the babyfaced beast Mikey Vee (5’11”, 185 pounds).

No rules, no ref, just muscled bodies and a pro wrestling ring and a battle for a submission or knockout. Vote for who you think emerges victorious, and comment below to describe the victorious finisher.

Friday Fashion


Mikey Vee wore it best.

There were a total of 102 votes in last week’s Friday Fashion poll, with hunky beefcake Mikey Vee edging out classic favorite Shane McCall by a 42% to 38% margin.  Defiled man of steel, Ken Decker, trailed with just 20%, but I say they all looked stunning in those rainbow trunks. However, Friday Fashion is mostly about what you think, and you (collectively) voted Mikey Vee as the one who wore it best.  With Mikey’s granite carved glutes, seriously, what doesn’t he wear the fucking hell out of!?

Mikey makes art.

Today’s Friday Fashion poll pits two hot hunks who both wear a distinctive pair of white trunks with a baby blue geometric stripes that, I think, accentuate all the right bulges.  Your first option is a one-hit wonder who was apparently so brutalized and beleaguered by BG East classic villain Cruze that he never set foot in the ring again.  Achingly beautiful babyface Brad Foster looks like he could melt in your mouth, he’s just that sweet.  Talk about a boy next door turns homoerotic pro wrestler!  But wait!  Boy next door?  Sweet enough to melt in your mouth? Achingly beautiful babyface?  Aren’t those the exact words necessary to sum up 2-time homoerotic wrestler of the month Denny Cartier!?  And aren’t those distinctive, bulge-tastic trunks precisely the gear Denny wore in Leopard’s Lair 4, Mat Hunks 8, and Backyard Brawls 6? Damn straight they are.  There’s no denying the fact that Denny wore it more often than Brad.  The question is, who wore it best?  Check out your options and vote below.


One-hit wonder Brad Foster made a big impression in those white trunks with blue stripes, facing off against brutal Cruze in BG East’s Ringwars 2.
Denny Cartier is smolderingly sexy in the same pair of trunks, appearing in BG East’s Leopard’s Lair 4, Mat Hunks 8, and Backyard Brawls 6.