Side Butt

If you’re new around here, you may not have heard that pretty much everything inspires my homoerotic wrestling imagination. One of my longest-standing, relatively random inspirations has been hot guys on television news. For a while, I thought it was just my imagination, prompting me to fantasize about hard, hot bodies underneath the suits of the handsome faces hired to look trustworthy. But no one can ignore the flagrant display of hot journalist beef all over the airwaves these days. It’s not just me combing through the minutiae and piecing together Chris Cuomo’s bulging biceps and Gio Benitez’ mouthwatering pecs out of nothing more than public social media accounts and confirmation bias. These days, the news hunks are quite obviously getting hunkier, unbuttoning their shirts, posting workout videos, and finding excuses to show off their hard toned gym bodies. Thus was born The News Division series of homoerotic wrestling fiction that I’m slowly transcribing from an old private site to the pages of this blog. I’ll post an updated version of a new chapter tomorrow.

If you aren’t new around here, this is all old news. So let me move on to the new addition to my newsmen crush lexicon. My local weatherman is a nerd stud. He’s skinny. Literally, a marathoner. He’s no Hollywood heartthrob, but he’s got a seriously cute, boyish face. Quick wit. I’d schoolboy pin him in a second. But the real star of the show is that ass of his when he takes of his suit coat and steps up to the map. Specifically, he makes me gasp every time he turns to point to the weather map and shows off his remarkably perky, round ass in profile. Solid, sculpted muscle, made all that more stunning by his skinny, little waist. Not everyone has the genetics and laboriously-built muscle to be able to show off such lovely side butt. There are huge, bulging bodybuilders who do squats for years and never pull off the perfectly round globes that my skinny weatherman has. From behind, you can’t always measure the perkiness-factor like you can with side butt.

So, in honor of my weatherman and the provocative gift of a tiny waist and gorgeous, round glutes, I’ve spent more time than I should have curating this annotated collection of homoerotic wrestling hunks showing off sensational side butt.


BGE’s classic baby face muscle boy Troy Baker gave pin-up boy quality side butt. I’m also a fan of Troy’s tan lines, which serve as a highlighter spotlighting his beautifully round, alabaster cheeks.

0402_lgMy longest-reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler and multi-Best Butt and Body winner Kid Karisma possesses one of the perkiest, most muscular ass cheeks on the planet. He’s a study in physical perfection from every angle, but he gives choice side butt.


Tyrell Tomsen is an adonis, with extravagant, luscious meat draped from every joint. You have not lived if you have yet to see every awesome inch of Tyrell in Strip Stakes 1, which, frankly, has sort of spoiled me for every other strip stakes match I’ve seen. It’s hard not to let your eyes roam over him, but if you’ve got the self-discipline, you’ll see that his thick, solidly muscled glutes are perfect in profile.

scrapdbEpitomizing the tapered-V, Scrappy (Thunders, W4H, Muscleboy) possesses perfect proportions. The way his tiny waist perches on top of his lush, thickly muscled ass makes him a side butt poster boy.


One of the more controversial figures in the annals of homoerotic wrestling history, Rio Garza had a remarkable gift for dividing fans and wrestlers alike. But can we all agree to the self-evident fact that the Mexican muscleboy sports practically perfectly round glutes that make for sensational side butt?


This photo demonstrates the extremely rare (IMO) phenomenally hot double side butt perfection of last year’s Best Body winner Van Skyler on the left bearhugging Payton Meadows on the right. Their Undagear 26 face off really deserves to be cross-listed as a Fantasymen product, because they are both ripped from the pages of an erotic fantasy. But for butt watching, it’s out of this world, and for two pairs of the sweetest, roundest ass profiles to appear in one match, it cannot be beat.


I should’ve quit a while back, but I couldn’t stop myself from digging into the archives just a bit more for choice side butt. Blond, blue eyed bombshell Jeff Phoenix had all too brief a stint in the ring for BG East, but that all-over tan and magnificent physique surely ought to arise from the ashes for a comeback, don’t you think? And side butt that juicy needs a severe tongue lashing, if you ask me.


It’s probably criminal to have any discussion of phenomenal asses without extensive homage paid to Mike Columbo’s legendary glutes. In my hiatus from following the scene, I’ve lost track of whether the Mike Columbo fanatics are still actively worshiping at his altar, but I still keep a candle light for two of the thickest thighs and the superhumanly proportioned profile of his most famous assets.


But honestly, I was always more of a classic Mikey Vee fanatic than a Mike Columbo devotee. In Mikey’s early days at BG East, he was a devastatingly adorably bad ass in a baby face disguise.

I’ve got half a dozen other hot hunks for whom, I bet, I’d find scintillating shots of side butt, but I’m going to draw a line there rather than work on this post for days on end. You, however, can tell me who I missed in the comments!

The Best: Classics

Honestly, I keep delaying writing this post because of the real possibility that, by the time I’m done writing, the lead will have changed yet again in the reader poll to decide between Mikey Vee and Ace Hanson. There have been more than a dozen changes in the lead over the past two days. It’s been close from the start. I thought Mikey was going to edge out the victory at the end of voting on day one. Then yesterday morning, the vote was tied when I woke up and checked the poll. Over the course of the day yesterday, Mikey kept trying to pull ahead, but Ace persistently clawed back to a tie over and over again. And lo and behold, this morning I arise to discover the classic, hard bodied muscle hunk to eek out the victory in the bitter, bitter end is Ace Hanson with 51.8% of the vote!

Ace Hanson: The Best

I feel pretty certain that, should voting continue, these two beautiful badasses would be locked in a give and take, back and forth in perpetuity. And, on the one hand, I feel like that’s the perfect climax to this series. Yet, I feel like I need to call it, as arbitrarily as it may be, handing Playgirl centerfold, gay porn muscle god, and fucking brutally dominant homoerotic wrestling heel Ace the title. Tuck in and read David’s description of how he sees the match in the comments to the original post (back when Mikey was holding onto a lead). Personally, I think of this vote as the wrestling equivalent of two devastatingly vicious heels pulling out all the stops and just not able to put each other out. Both muscle gods defy belief by surviving finisher after finisher. Mikey tries to break Ace’s back and balls in a crotch claw torture rack, bouncing up and down and twisting his testicles. Ace screams and writhes, but he refuses to submit. After Mikey gives up on the torture rack, Ace battles back, scoops Mikey up and pounds him down in an OTK backbreaker, exacting revenge by beating the fuck out his bobbing cock and balls. Mikey wails, but won’t concede. When Ace flings Mikey off his knee with contempt, Mikey roars back into contention with a knee to the gut that bends Ace over, Mikey snapping his hugely muscled quads around Ace’s head, tugging his huge cock in excited anticipation, and then hoists Ace off his feet, suspended upside down, and delivers a spine tingling pile driver. Ace’s sweat soaked body twitches and spasms, his eyes rolled up in the back of his head. But when Mikey lifts and drops Ace’s right arm to confirm that he knocked him out, Ace’s tenuous hold on consciousness denies him the victory. A stunning jab at Mikey’s balls puts them both back at neutral, but it’s Ace who grabs the initiative first by sliding Mikey’s head between his tree trunk thighs and presses his tibia squarely across his opponent’s throat in a padlocked crotch pillow figure-4 chokehold. Mikey starts bucking and writhing in panic, clawing at Ace’s crushing legs, struggling futilely to reach behind him to land a last chance blow at Ace’s juicy cock, now fully erect and grinding into the back of Mikey’s head. Ace bats his hands away, squeezing Mikey’s throat even harder. “It’s over, mother fucker!” Ace barks victoriously. Mikey groans deep in his chest, no more than a trickle of oxygen permitting him to hold his grip on consciousness. Mikey’s hips rise off of the mat, his lower back arched, and he grabs hold of his own rock hard cock stretched toward the ceiling at the apex of his bridge. Ace laughs at his opponent’s utter humiliation, flexing his biceps like a boss as he watches Mikey jack his meat harder and faster. Mikey can’t help himself. He can’t stop himself. He’s never met an opponent like Ace before, who can take everything Mikey can give and still button Mikey up like an underclassman. Mikey shoots a jet of cum across his washboard ups, splattering his bulging pecs and chin. Mikey’s hips finally crash to the mat in exhaustion, seconds before he slips out of consciousness and remains blissfully unaware as Ace lifts and drops Mikey’s slack, cum soaked right hand three times to confirm the knockout and the victory.


Thanks to everyone for voting, and thanks for the comments, particularly David’s fabulously sexy and extensive narratives. And congratulations to the classic homoerotic wrestling hunk champion who managed to swoop in in the end and claim the title of The Best!

The Battle to Be the Best: Classics – extra innings

Woah. Before I went to sleep last night I checked the Be the Best poll, and Mikey Vee was in the lead, but Ace Hanson was hot on his heels. It seemed like a close battle all day yesterday, but it looked like Mikey was going to hold off Ace’s persistent push to take down the champ. When I woke up this morning, the poll was tied!  Fuck, this is the perfect way to pound out the climactic final match of this To Be the Best Classic homoerotic wrestling star competition. Even this morning, a few votes have teetered the title back and forth, like a wrestling match 25 minutes in, both hunks soaked in sweat, exhausted, stripped of their gear and hanging on desperately to their reputations as muscle hunk badasses.  Rather than call the match prematurely, I’ll keep the poll open a while longer to see if Mikey or Ace can open up a little distance and finally put away the last man standing in the way of final victory.

In the mean time, I thought I’d share some inspiration to see if it can sway any of you fence-sitters. First, here are just a few of the reasons Mikey Vee has been a force of nature in homoerotic wrestling for over a decade. He’s got the face of a Hollywood leading man, the body of a superhuman porn muscle top, and the serious-as-a-heart-attack sadistic will to dominate. But let’s face it, it’s that solid beef ass of his that sets Mikey apart from almost any opponent. Take a look at a few more angles of the defending champ, Mikey Vee:

Before you sign up for team Mikey, though, you should also take a look at Ace in all his glory. If you think he looks like a Playgirl centerfold, you’d be right. If you think he looks like a gay porn muscle god, you’d be right. If you think he’d be a fucking steel-core bulldozer as a homoerotic wrestler, you’d be right. Take a look at Ace’s bid to earn your vote as the Best of the Best:

Does that give you any more clarity about who you want to vote for? There are no losers in a muscle match up like this one. Well, except for the hard core muscle hunk who’s going to get beat down, worked over, dominated and humiliated into a could-have-been runner up. But absolutely everyone else, particularly you and I, are winners. If you haven’t already, vote now!

The Battle to Be the Best: Classics

Flex’s magnificent muscles, gorgeous proportions, and porn-ready cock were not enough to knock Mikey Vee’s legendary muscle ass off of the BBB throne. The poll turned into the wrestling equivalent of a heel beatdown against a stubborn opponent unaccustomed to getting steamrolled. David once again narrated a ton of the action in the comments, and it’s a dizzyingly sexy, “full-contact” (to say the least) muscle massacre. Personally, I picture the climactic moment with Mikey’s naked ass smothering Flex, flat on his back, in the middle of the ring. Mikey hooks one of his opponent’s legs and folds him up, pinning him solidly and really planting his face deep up Mikey’s massive glutes. Of course, pins mean nothing, so Mikey grabs Flex’s battered balls with his free hand and twists hard. Flex probably submits, but there’s nothing but muffled grunts and whimpers from deep up Mikey’s cavernous crack. The grunts and whimpers finally grow silent. Still perched on his face, Mikey lifts and drops Flex’s right hand three times, confirming that the Can-Am gladiator is out for good.

So today is the final match in this round of the Battle to Be the Best, classics edition. There are so many more classic homoerotic wrestling stars who probably deserve a crack at the title, but with only one last spot, I’ve sweated over the choice of just one classic hunk to get the chance to unseat Mikey. Honestly, Mikey mowed through most of the classic hunks at BGE in his career, so I’m casting the net wider for the last contender. I’ve settled on giving this last shot to Ace Hanson aka Eric Reins of Thunders Arena and Can-Am/JetSet fame. Devastatingly pretty and deadly dangerous, Ace never made it to the BGE roster, which made a full throttle muscle match against Mikey merely hypothetical. So here’s his likely one-and-only chance to tap Mikey’s legendary ass and swoop in at the last second to claim the title of the Best of the Best.

On the left, BGE’s babyface beast Mikey Vee (5’11”, 185 pounds) vs. on the right, Can-Am & Thunders Arena’s beautiful badass Ace Hanson (6′, 220 pounds).

In the ring, no rules, only a submission or knockout matters. One of these two magnificent musclemen can win the Battle to Be the Best. You decide by voting here, and comment below to describe the climactic end to this brutal elimination series.

The Battle to Be the Best: Classics

It was another decisive victory and an anointing of a new champ in the Battle to Be the Best. Dominic “The Dominator” Zacarro’s designs on being legend-killer-in-residence didn’t stand a chance against the legendary brutality of badass Mikey Vee. The voting was brisk, but it was the wrestling equivalent of some solid back and forth in the opening moments, before Mikey kicked it into overdrive and plowed big Dom under hard. Read David’s blow by blow in the comments section of the poll (note, not the comments of the blog post, but rather the poll itself), featuring ball pounding, Dom tied in the ropes, and Mikey milking out sweet revenge for Dom’s brutal humiliation of Mikey’s tag team partner. Like David, I picture the final moments of this brutal muscle battle naked. Dom is fading fast, his gargantuan muscles twitching in exhaustion. Mikey has to work just a little to wrangle Dom’s massive physique, but finally manhandles the Dominator into an abdominal stretch. Dom whimpers in agony, until Mikey slides his hand down Dom’s sweaty, twisted abs and grabs Dom’s huge Italian sausage (David’s term), wringing it out and eliciting a yelp of panic from the big man. Dom is toasted, but refuses to pass the title on. Mikey throws him down to the mat, hooks Dom’s ankles under his armpits and squats his epically muscled ass into Dom’s lower back, applying a sick Boston crab. Big D screams like a bitch, sucking on the pain no more than 10 seconds before slapping the mat repeatedly and screaming his submission. Mikey smiles with satisfaction, but releases only Dom’s right leg. Still trussed up in a single leg crab, Mikey reaches down through his legs with his left hand, slowly wrapping his fingers around the base of Dom’s big, battered balls. “And this is for disrespecting my boo, Mike,” Mikey growls, twisting D’s balls as the former champ screams and weeps.

We’ve reached the penultimate match-up in this Battle to Be the Best, and Mikey Vee looks about as strong in the polls as he is in the ring. Thus far the BG East boys have completely dominated the competition, but I feel like it would be an injustice not to give one of Can-Am’s most dominant, legendary classic stars his shot at an extramural upset. Tom Flex had one of the sexiest bodies and, in particular, most sensational cock’s to make an appearance in a wrestling ring. I think of this as a battle of aesthetics and grace (Flex) squaring off against brute force and viciousness (Vee). What do you think?

On the left, defending champ and BGE’s babyfaced beast Mikey Vee (5’11”, 185 pounds) vs. on the right, Can-Am’s aesthetic athlete Tom Flex (6’1″, 205 pounds).

In the ring, no ref, with nothing but a submission or knockout standing in the way of one of these classic homoerotic wrestling stars advancing to the final match to determine who is the Best of the Best. Vote here, and comment below the sexy details playing out in your imagination.


The Battle to Be the Best: Classics

Dom Zacarro defended his claim to be the best, and his reputation as a legend killer, by pulling out a decisive victory over Mark Wolff. It’s the wrestling equivalent of a match that starts out competitively, but then about halfway through Dom starts steamrolling Mark until he’s in total control. You’ve got to read David’s blow-by-blow on that match in the comments. So fucking sexy! The OTK backbreaker beating the fuck out of Mark’s six-pack abs and double-fisted manhandling of Mark’s monster cock, alternating cock-punching and jacking him off, is what technically puts Dom over. But his post-victory tagging of Mark’s bulging pecs with Dom’s celebratory ejaculation is a sweet, sweet touch.

I’ve heard from readers predicting that big Dom may be unbeatable, which is fascinating when you consider his all-too-brief tenure in homoerotic wrestling. Calling him a legend killer is major inspiration for fan favorite legends to nip Dom’s ascendency in the bud before the Italian muscleman’s ego can swell as big as his gargantuan muscles. BGE’s Mikey Vee is the next classic fan favorite to step into the fray, both to be the best and to take revenge for Dom’s humiliation of Mikey’s former tag team partner, Mike Columbo. Mikey’s tenure in homoerotic wrestling is long, storied, and utterly dominating, but he’s stepping into the ring with Dom in his early career incarnation, with a full head of hair, granite carved torso, and truly legendary, luxuriously muscled ass.

On the left, defending champ Dominic “The Dominator” Zacarro (6′, 205 pounds) vs. on the right, the babyfaced beast Mikey Vee (5’11”, 185 pounds).

No rules, no ref, just muscled bodies and a pro wrestling ring and a battle for a submission or knockout. Vote for who you think emerges victorious, and comment below to describe the victorious finisher.

Friday Fashion


Mikey Vee wore it best.

There were a total of 102 votes in last week’s Friday Fashion poll, with hunky beefcake Mikey Vee edging out classic favorite Shane McCall by a 42% to 38% margin.  Defiled man of steel, Ken Decker, trailed with just 20%, but I say they all looked stunning in those rainbow trunks. However, Friday Fashion is mostly about what you think, and you (collectively) voted Mikey Vee as the one who wore it best.  With Mikey’s granite carved glutes, seriously, what doesn’t he wear the fucking hell out of!?

Mikey makes art.

Today’s Friday Fashion poll pits two hot hunks who both wear a distinctive pair of white trunks with a baby blue geometric stripes that, I think, accentuate all the right bulges.  Your first option is a one-hit wonder who was apparently so brutalized and beleaguered by BG East classic villain Cruze that he never set foot in the ring again.  Achingly beautiful babyface Brad Foster looks like he could melt in your mouth, he’s just that sweet.  Talk about a boy next door turns homoerotic pro wrestler!  But wait!  Boy next door?  Sweet enough to melt in your mouth? Achingly beautiful babyface?  Aren’t those the exact words necessary to sum up 2-time homoerotic wrestler of the month Denny Cartier!?  And aren’t those distinctive, bulge-tastic trunks precisely the gear Denny wore in Leopard’s Lair 4, Mat Hunks 8, and Backyard Brawls 6? Damn straight they are.  There’s no denying the fact that Denny wore it more often than Brad.  The question is, who wore it best?  Check out your options and vote below.


One-hit wonder Brad Foster made a big impression in those white trunks with blue stripes, facing off against brutal Cruze in BG East’s Ringwars 2.
Denny Cartier is smolderingly sexy in the same pair of trunks, appearing in BG East’s Leopard’s Lair 4, Mat Hunks 8, and Backyard Brawls 6.

Tuesday Trunk Pulls



I’m late in anointing a new Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month.  I’ll get to it, but in the mean time, let me dedicate this edition of Tuesday Trunk Pulls to the still reigning HWOTM, for the moment, the living legend himself, Brad Rochelle.  Trunk pulls get my juices flowing a little faster, particularly when the pull-ee is a hunk with sculpted muscles, boyish innocence, and a telegraphed unlikeliness to venture into the deep end of homoerotic wrestling, where gear gets stripped entirely.  The trunk pull teases and titillates, tempting with a glimpse or even just a hint of the beauty beneath the trunks, a treasure that possibly no one may get their hands on in the ring, but nevertheless inspires boundless hopes and fantasies.  I think there may be no better ambassador for the power of the trunk pull than epic babyface beauty, Brad Rochelle.  In order of his appearances, here are the trunk pulls (delivered and received) of a storied, inspiring career in homoerotic wrestling…

Mikey Vee delivers a stunning scene of displaying Brad’s power and beauty at the moment of being broken, demonstrating that those trunks do come off, even if not within the view of the camera in Fantasymen 17.
The very next catalog in which Brad appeared displayed another brutal, beautiful muscle heel, Dante Rosetti, prying Brad’s body out of the corner with a gorgeous trunk pull in order to pound him back again in Hunkbash 5.
Brad’s next visit to Hunkbash town (Hunkbash 6) saw his hot, muscled arms trapped in the ropes, giving Joe Mazetti unrestricted access to pound the shit out of Brad’s sculpted abs once more. For better leverage on those blows, Joe yanks on the trunks, stretching the fabric taunt over the contours of Brad’s cock and balls.


When Brad found himself beholden to a patently exploitative employment contract with the Boss, the theme of exploiting Brad’s fantasyman body in endless variations of torture and humiliation led, inevitably, to more violent tugs on his innocent-white gear, such as when Aryx Quinn exposed Brad’s cheeks while tossing him back inside the ring in Contract 3.
Thankfully not content with a rear trunk pull, Aryx lined Brad up nice and square with the camera and yanked hard on the front of the babyface’s trunks, giving us what, as far as I can tell, is the only appearance of Brad’s cock in a wrestling match… to date….
The brutal demands of The Contract began to take a toll on the infinitely earnest beautiful baby face, leading him to lash out with occasionally underhanded and sadistically humiliating moments of his own, such as Brad’s first trunk pull delivered on Cameron Matthews in Contract 5.
At the first sign that Brad was being provoked to lash out against the confines of sportsmanship, The Boss was back in the ring to pound the prettyboy back into submission, exposing Brad’s gorgeous, alabaster cheeks with a nasty, wedgie-inducing trunk pull with a hair pull chaser in Contract 5.

Once Brad turned full on heel in Contract 6, all hell broke loose at BGE the moment that The Boss was out of town. Brad began doling out heaping helpings of the brutality and humiliation he’d suffered for so many years, such as exposing Jed Jamison’s cheeks with a Boss-inspired trunk pull/hair pull combination in Contract 8.
Brad seemingly couldn’t get his fingers dug into the gear of his opponent’s fast enough, next working out his frustrations by nearly ripping Braden’s Charron’s briefs apart with a prostate-tickling trunk pull from behind in Contract 8.
By Contract 9, Brad clearly had a taste for straining the seams of his hapless opponent’s gear. He literally rips a hole in Steven Thomas’ brutalized trunks, paying forward the humiliating, nasty treatment his gorgeous physique (and gear) had sucked up for so long.
In the climactic Contract 10, The Boss took matters into his own hands once again, determined to send the most vaunted jobber in a generation back where he “belongs” while simultaneously demonstrating that Brad’s sweet cheeks never looked sweeter.
Proving just how sweet those cheeks are, Brad shows the truest sign of class by letting the wedgie ride, turning the tables on The Boss, and making Kid Leopard himself plant his submissive lips on Brad’s trunk-pulled ass (oh, please, Br’er Fox, don’t throw me in that briar patch!)

Of course, Brad fans and homoerotic wrestling sleuths discovered long ago that, although Brad has never bared all in the ring… yet…. he was featured as a “real man of the month” in Playgirl where he proved that every inch we’ve never seen was just as pretty as every inch we had.

From Playgirl’s Real Man of the Month to neverland’s Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month, Brad Rochelle demonstrates there’s treasure to be found in a trunk pull!

Friday Fashion

Kash Satal wore it best.


One of the more competitive polls around neverland, last week’s Friday Fashion vote tilted, in the end, for gorgeous muscleboy Kash Satal as having worn those pouch-tastic orange, black, and white N2N trunks best in Can-Am’s Wrestle Bait. He beat out fellow Wrestle Bait fighter, Patrick Bateman, by just 5 votes. I have to agree with the majority on this one, because damn… damn!…. Kash looks insanely sexy in, and then out of, these trunks!

Tory Mason cannot wait to put mighty Kash out and peel those trunks off!

This week, I’m going old school with a recurring pair of memorable trunks worn by 3 hunks from the earlier years of BG East.  Metallic finish, rainbow colors, these are not trunks that just anyone can pull off.  Personally, however, I think all three of these studs are simply stunning in them, but the question remains: who wore it best?  Consider the options, and then vote below.

Shane McCall was rookie of the year in his day, hot, horny and hairy, he dazzled with pride in these trunks in BG East’s Wrestle Fest 2 as well as Ringwars 3.
Mikey Vee quite literally stuns every time he climbs into the ring or steps on the mat, but his fashion may have never stunned quite so much as when the deeply dangerous hunk climbed into the ring in these beauties in Hunk Bash 6.
These eye-catching trunks didn’t bring Ken Decker nearly the luck that they did for Mikey and Shane, when this hardbodied beast found himself conquered, crushed, and stripped bare in Demolition 4. But the question is not which wrestler won, but who wore it best!?