The Battle to Be the Best: Classics

It was another decisive victory and an anointing of a new champ in the Battle to Be the Best. Dominic “The Dominator” Zacarro’s designs on being legend-killer-in-residence didn’t stand a chance against the legendary brutality of badass Mikey Vee. The voting was brisk, but it was the wrestling equivalent of some solid back and forth in the opening moments, before Mikey kicked it into overdrive and plowed big Dom under hard. Read David’s blow by blow in the comments section of the poll (note, not the comments of the blog post, but rather the poll itself), featuring ball pounding, Dom tied in the ropes, and Mikey milking out sweet revenge for Dom’s brutal humiliation of Mikey’s tag team partner. Like David, I picture the final moments of this brutal muscle battle naked. Dom is fading fast, his gargantuan muscles twitching in exhaustion. Mikey has to work just a little to wrangle Dom’s massive physique, but finally manhandles the Dominator into an abdominal stretch. Dom whimpers in agony, until Mikey slides his hand down Dom’s sweaty, twisted abs and grabs Dom’s huge Italian sausage (David’s term), wringing it out and eliciting a yelp of panic from the big man. Dom is toasted, but refuses to pass the title on. Mikey throws him down to the mat, hooks Dom’s ankles under his armpits and squats his epically muscled ass into Dom’s lower back, applying a sick Boston crab. Big D screams like a bitch, sucking on the pain no more than 10 seconds before slapping the mat repeatedly and screaming his submission. Mikey smiles with satisfaction, but releases only Dom’s right leg. Still trussed up in a single leg crab, Mikey reaches down through his legs with his left hand, slowly wrapping his fingers around the base of Dom’s big, battered balls. “And this is for disrespecting my boo, Mike,” Mikey growls, twisting D’s balls as the former champ screams and weeps.

We’ve reached the penultimate match-up in this Battle to Be the Best, and Mikey Vee looks about as strong in the polls as he is in the ring. Thus far the BG East boys have completely dominated the competition, but I feel like it would be an injustice not to give one of Can-Am’s most dominant, legendary classic stars his shot at an extramural upset. Tom Flex had one of the sexiest bodies and, in particular, most sensational cock’s to make an appearance in a wrestling ring. I think of this as a battle of aesthetics and grace (Flex) squaring off against brute force and viciousness (Vee). What do you think?

On the left, defending champ and BGE’s babyfaced beast Mikey Vee (5’11”, 185 pounds) vs. on the right, Can-Am’s aesthetic athlete Tom Flex (6’1″, 205 pounds).

In the ring, no ref, with nothing but a submission or knockout standing in the way of one of these classic homoerotic wrestling stars advancing to the final match to determine who is the Best of the Best. Vote here, and comment below the sexy details playing out in your imagination.


Year in Review – 4th Favorite Moment of 2011

Just to keep things interesting, last February I did my own homage to Squarehippies “Guess this Hairy Chest” series. The concept takes me back to one of my favorite old game shows from my childhood, Name That Tune. Based on just a glimpse, just a few notes, can you identify the whole work of art?

Can you name these sculpted muscle glutes?

In keeping with the theme of this blog and my infatuations, my game was “Name That Ass.” Readers were invited to identify the homoerotic wrestlers to whom these stunningly beautiful butts belonged. The game was tougher than I expected it to be. I honestly anticipated multiple perfect scores and people chastising me for making it all too easy. But even expert homoerotic wrestling connoisseurs could put their fingers on only a few of the gorgeous glutes.

Inaugural Name That Ass Answer: Joshua Goodman
(That’s Mr. Joshua to You!)

I readily admit that this year’s “Name That” quizzes probably pleased me more than anyone else. Obsessing over the perfect camera angle on the most mouth-watering bodyparts of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers is a labor of love, trust me.  However, several neverland readers played along and accepted the challenge to give it a go.

Homoerotic wrestler tats: Name this work of art!

It dawned on me at some point that I didn’t have to just obsess over asses, and so I also posted “Name that Tat” quizzes and “Name that Cock” quizzes over the course of last winter and spring. Spending so much time examining close up images of homoerotic wrestlers’ bodies was so much fun!

Recognize this wrestling cock?
Topher does!

My favorite moment in “Name That…” quizzes came in April, when regular reader and top tier homoerotic wrestling expert Topher scored the first perfect score, correctly identifying all five wrestling cocks and the opponents who faced them in the pictured matches. Topher was on fire, demonstrating a mastery of identifying hot wrestling cocks that puts him in a league all his own. Never let it be said that Topher doesn’t know his homoerotic wrestling cocks!

Tom Flex gives Guy Bolton a close up view of
his well-oiled cock
Name That

As a reward for the first Name That perfect score, Topher got a pic of one of my tats and the naming rights for the next Name That quiz. Always bringing his own unique brand of hot creativity, Topher asked for the next Name That quiz to take a close-up view of wrestling gear.  After a few more rounds of quizzes, I let class out for the summer as neverland took a hiatus from Name That quizzes for a while. There wasn’t much reader response to an early autumn Name That quiz, so I’ve let the gimmick lay fallow a while. However, considering how much enjoyment the quizzes provide me, I won’t be surprised to see more Name That quizzes in the coming year. And when it comes to reflecting on my favorite moments of 2011, Topher’s rock hard hold on the title of teacher’s pet is my my fourth most favorite moment of year.

Adam Killion is unimpressed with Josh Avery’s head gear.

Thanks to everyone who played along with a Name That quiz this year. I hope 2012 brings you a lot more homoerotic wrestling asses, tats, cocks and gear to enjoy, and more top marks to brag about.

Still Kickin’

Kieran Dunne’s gorgeous narrow waist about to be stomped by
rookie Guido Tori – BG East’s Ring Rookies 1 

Thanks again to those of you inquiring about my well-being in my absence from posting for several days. No major problems to report. I was just, yet again, traveling for work and crazy busy along the way. Despite my inactivity around here, I’m still alive and kickin‘.

Jayden Mayne softens up big boy Trent Blayze with a boot to the back –
BG East’s Ringwars 19

I learned this summer about guys particularly turned on with trampling, stomping, and kicking. This was a new concept to me, really. I think the dominating, sadistic, overpowering aspect of trampling is hot, of course. But I typically find myself attending more to the long held holds: the over-the-knee backbreakers, the bearhugs, the scissors, the abdominal stretches. I usually think of stomps as more like the explanation points at the end of homoerotic wrestling poetry stanzas, rather than the meat of the matter.

Nikoli Bakov drives an impressive strike to Tom Flex’s
muscled back in Can-Am’s 2-on-1 Grudge Match

But I’m told that there are die-hard trampling fans whose fondest fetish is the kick to the back, the stomp to the gut, the boot to the crotch. The moments that rock some of us the hardest involve a swift kick to a vulnerable hunk’s battered body.

Psycho Capone takes a boot to a naked Dynamo Dean –
BG East’s Hard Pros 2

Just knowing that there are those of us with an eye for trampling has had the effect of making me turned on a couple of notches more when I see it in my homoerotic wrestling fare. I’m feeling it. The extra dose of humiliation, the gratuitous delivery of suffering, the tenderizing of a once-invulnerable stud to soften him up to be devoured whole… some hot stomping can take my breath away these days.

Ripped Rio Garza works out some frustration with the heel of his boot
stomping Jobe Zander’s masterpiece – Can-Am’s Rio’s Revenge

I suppose we could all be happily consuming our favorite homoerotic wrestling in the privacy of our own fantasies, but this opportunity to cross-pollinate our particular tastes is an aspect of blogging and discussing our shared fetish that I enjoy so much. To have my eye drawn, my anticipation heightened, my senses tuned to something new to inspire my appreciation of erotic wrestling is a beautiful part of sharing this corner of the virtual homoerotic wrestling with so many of you. Hopefully, I’ll be back to a bit more regular posting in the coming weeks. I’ve missed our little chats!

Cocks Named

No one ought to be surprised that it was Topher who officially earned the first “Name That…” perfect score. He’s a homoerotic wrestling connoisseur who knows his stuff! Even with housework to do and guests to entertain, he still managed to correctly name all five of the cocks in yesterday’s quiz, along with all five (six, really) opponents in the matches pictured. In addition to being quiz master for the week (should that be cock master?), Topher gets a photo of one of my tats (whether he wants it or not) and he can name the subject matter for next week’s quiz, if he likes. Let’s just review the excellent work that Topher correctly turned in…

Topher correctly identified cock #1 as belonging to…

 And specifically, this is Derek’s gorgeous cock after taking a prolonged and paradigmatically vicious ball beating at the hands of the master, Kid Vicious in BG East’s Ball Bash 1.

And as for why I would delight in discussing “deceased French philosophers” with Derek on our fantasy date (prior to a multiple submission/emission wrestling marathon back at his place), Derek’s website describes him as into post structural philosophy, along with his interests in wrestling, bondage, and safe sex. That’s one well rounded man with one profoundly inspiring body!
Cock #2, indeed, belongs to…
…BG East’s Casey Cutler.
And Casey’s aesthetically pleasing phallus is here on display for not only you and me, but also his opponent for Ringwars 3, Dick the Prick (thus, aptly named). BG East describes Casey as Wade Cutler’s  “gorgeous younger cousin,” which makes it a crying shame that we never saw the cousins go head-to-head (much less, cock-to-cock). I’ve harbored a deep, deep infatuation with Wade, but Casey took the erotic a step farther in his wrestling than his cousin ever did, and for that we (and, I’m sure, Dick the Prick) are grateful.
Topher zoomed right in on cock #3 as belonging to…
…Naked Kombat’s DJ.

And impressively, Topher managed to tease out that this beautiful uncut cock-shot comes from DJ’s masterful humiliation of Dragon, who I gave a hard time for in my review of the match because I think Dragon has a dangerously low BMI (thus I’d buy him a hamburger). DJ’s cock in the sex round is a marvel. The python is so long, it’s no wonder that every opponent he faces at one time or another delights in racking up NK points by giving it a firm tug (and often suck). But lately, 9 times out of ten, most of DJ’s opponents get to know his cock up close and personal as he first shoves it down their throats and then, after a pony ride, pounds it up their asses.

Cock #4 and its opponent appears to have given Topher the toughest challenge as belonging to…
Can-Am icon (Tom) Flex, staring down the gaping mouth of his opponent, Guy Bolton in their self-titled release.
 There’s something cringe-inspiring in me about this pic of Guy’s teeth looking like their about to bite into Flex’s sac. It’s not as if I blame Guy, though, for reflexively opening wide with that meat hanging inches from his mouth. On the recurring theme of what rides should be offered at a homoerotic wrestling theme park, I think oiling up a classic, naked Tom Flex and having patrons take turns in a chin-first head-scissors should rank pretty high up there.
And Topher did eventually nail down, so to speak, cock #5 and its opponents…
 …as none other than Trent Diesel sitting very pretty on top of Alex Slater, after having beat Patrick Rouge right out of the arena.
 Hot damn! There’s just nothing about Trent’s body that doesn’t rock me hard. His ass was featured in the very first Name That Ass quiz. I’m sure his tats will show up in a Name That Tat quiz. And in addition to being the reigning title holder as my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy, Trent is also the inaugural and subsequently 2-time homoerotic wrestler of the month. Do you get the impression that I’m a fanatic? His “tie” in his last singles match at NK still sits under my skin, but Trent’s stock, just like that absolutely picture perfect erect cock of his, continues to trend decisively upward.
Frankly, I think Topher’s accomplishment this week should signal that he needs to start his own homoerotic wrestling blog, but I’ll understand if he doesn’t. It’s a time suck, big time, and there are always critics lurking around the corner to slap you around if you get too full of yourself on your own blog. But Topher is absolutely teacher’s pet, and he deserves a hearty congratulations and a swift smack on the ass. Well done!

In Your Face

What is it that’s happening when a wrestler grinds his opponent’s face into his crotch?Okay, I mean, besides the obvious. What’s the story line there? I’m NOT complaining, mind you, I’m just taking a second look at something that I typically take for granted.

PWP has just posted a couple of new matches. Pretty dancer boys are tossing and squeezing one another predictably. A beautiful, long pale hottie, White Angel, takes his turn working over and getting worked on in “The Challenge Series“. This image of him schoolboy pinning Mario, with what looks like a big smile on Mario’s face, brings the topic to mind. Part of the story, at least, is humiliation. Dominating your opponent so completely that you can drop your most vulnerable parts across his face with impunity has got to send a message: You are owned.
Can-Am’s Tom Flex was constantly planting his abundant package across his opponents’ faces. This position is repeated multiply throughout Flex’s wrestling history, both clothed and naked. Here, Beau Hopkins turns his face away to avoid Flex’s testicles pressed against his lips. Clearly, part of the story is also the allusion to forced oral sex. The dominant muscle stud possesses such command over his helpless opponent that he can force feed his cock and transform his opponent into his sexual toy.
Like Tom Flex, BG East’s Mr. Joshua Goodman frequently smothers his opponents with his overstuffed package, and like Flex, Joshua frequently puts his own stunning body on gorgeous display while he does it. Joshua is a case in point of another aspect of this crotch-to-face story. Joshua’s massive, low hanging balls are ALWAYS a feature of his matches. He’s gorgeously muscled, handsome, and has a nice, cocky persona, but let’s face it, it’s hard to associate Mr. Joshua with much else other than his pendulous package. The crotch-to-face is the exclamation point at the end of the sentence: Mr. Joshua’s balls are huge! His figure-four crotch-to-face is the unspoken (often spoken) message that Mr. Joshua is hyper-masculine, unstoppable, and irrepressible.

Mitch Colby, current top contender to take back the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy, reaches that moment in pretty much every match where he has his opponent’s head wedged high between his thighs. He takes both hands and grasps the down man’s head, and presses his opponent’s face into this crotch. Mitch tells the whole story explicitly that so many only imply. Invariably, Mitch’s head rolls backward, his eyes are shut in ecstasy, and his face is enraptured by this moment of sexual domination. I swear, I expect to see Mitch cum in his jock strap every time he does this. Mitch is getting off on this, and for that particular story he tells so well, he remains firmly ensconced in the pantheon of my absolute favorites. To have a muscle hunk’s face crushed against your cock and balls should absolutely be about sexual gratification.

Speaking of pale, skinny white boys,
Brigham Bell always did it for me in a way that never ceased to catch me by surprise. With zero bodyfat, Brigham was a walking anatomy chart, with every muscle, tendon and bone in clear relief. He was so skilled at using that whipcord of a body to beat down, conquer, and humiliate his bigger opponents. Squeezing a hard boy’s head into his crotch was standard fare for Brigham, using the maneuver to hammer home the point that it’s not always how big the muscles are that determine the tale. This pale, skinny white boy that you completely underestimated is suddenly planted across your shoulders, driving your chin into his balls. Whatever you thought was going to happen in this match, however you thought you’d overpower and dominate the skinny kid, it was always fated that you’d be flat on your back with his cock slapped down across your lips.

As always, I love the muscled bodies, the erotic, dominating positions, the enthused salesmanship. But it’s the arc of the story that I find most erotic. It’s the plot of two men staring one another down, untested and cock-sure of themselves, and all the fantastic elements that go into one of them ending up lying flat on his back, defenseless, with his opponent’s crotch shoved into his face.