I keep thinking that I’ve run out of sexy Trees of Woe to feature for my alliterative Wednesday post, but alas and again, another assortment to amuse the aficionado of the application of this hot hold.
Wednesday’s Woes
Tag: Dick the Prick
Poetry
A recurring theme in neverland is my kink-taste for text, and particularly dialogue in homoerotic wrestling. I think that amateur wrestling only revs my engine to a point, precisely because they execute a wrestling match so impersonally. It’s “just” sport, whereas throwing in some taunting, some screams of agony, some degradation and gloating dialogue, makes the wrestling about sorting out a relationship. Catching up on my, “I’ve got to own that some day” list, I was recently struck by the marathon, expert eroticism of Kid Leopard and Dick the Prick in BG East’s Submissions 4. This should be beat poetry, I think. When the action has moved to the mat room, and after KL has broken Dick’s spirits repeatedly, he schoolboy pins Mr. The Prick and begins grinding his crotch into Dick’s face.
“Yah, yah… so much for the pretty boy. Yah, so much for the fucking pretty boy. Pinned. Pinned with a dick in his face.” Dick begins to stroke his own cock as KL humps his face and heaps on the humiliation.
“Yah, pinned with a fucking cock going across his lips. Yah, ain’t it so, boy, huh? Ain’t it so? Yah… yah… fucked up in the ring, squashed on the mats, and now sucking crotch. Yes sir, pretty boy. Yes sir. That’s where you belong. That’s where you fucking belong…”
KL pulls his dick out of his trunks and proceeds to slap Mr. The Prick’s face with it, while Dick strokes his own cock harder, groaning louder as he does.
“That’s where you fucking belong. Yah… yah……… yah. Juice is flying isn’t it? Yah… yah… yah...”
KL turns around, dropping his ass on Dick’s face. He punches Dick’s hairy right pec, eliciting a groan. “Yah,” KL continues, “bridge that ass up!” Dick obediently arches his hips off the mat, until KL pounds his fists into Dick’s pecs again, driving Mr. The Prick back down.
“Yah, oh yah,” KL mutters, his balls pressed against dick’s lips. “Yah, fucker, pinned!”
Dick gasps. His body goes rigid, and then he erupts in cum shooting up his abdomen, his groans of ecstasy muffled with his mouth stuffed up KL’s ass.
“Pinned! Fucker! One…. two… three… pinned your ass. Now, I’m going to pin your dick.”
KL slides to Dick’s side and positions himself crotch-on-crotch, grinding his hard cock onto Dick’s.
“Yah, pinned your fucking dick,” KL mutters an instant before his own body begins to quiver. “One… two… three,” KL counts, cum streaming out of his cock precisely on the count of three. He stretches his body over top of his vanquished opponent, his face hovering a fraction of an inch over Dick’s.
“Not bad, punk.” Their lips lock together hungrily.
The most astounding thing of all about this fantastically hot scenario? There are still almost 15 minutes left in this match!
Cocks Named
No one ought to be surprised that it was Topher who officially earned the first “Name That…” perfect score. He’s a homoerotic wrestling connoisseur who knows his stuff! Even with housework to do and guests to entertain, he still managed to correctly name all five of the cocks in yesterday’s quiz, along with all five (six, really) opponents in the matches pictured. In addition to being quiz master for the week (should that be cock master?), Topher gets a photo of one of my tats (whether he wants it or not) and he can name the subject matter for next week’s quiz, if he likes. Let’s just review the excellent work that Topher correctly turned in…
Topher correctly identified cock #1 as belonging to…
And specifically, this is Derek’s gorgeous cock after taking a prolonged and paradigmatically vicious ball beating at the hands of the master, Kid Vicious in BG East’s Ball Bash 1.
And as for why I would delight in discussing “deceased French philosophers” with Derek on our fantasy date (prior to a multiple submission/emission wrestling marathon back at his place), Derek’s website describes him as into post structural philosophy, along with his interests in wrestling, bondage, and safe sex. That’s one well rounded man with one profoundly inspiring body!
Cock #2, indeed, belongs to…
…BG East’s Casey Cutler.
And Casey’s aesthetically pleasing phallus is here on display for not only you and me, but also his opponent for Ringwars 3, Dick the Prick (thus, aptly named). BG East describes Casey as Wade Cutler’s “gorgeous younger cousin,” which makes it a crying shame that we never saw the cousins go head-to-head (much less, cock-to-cock). I’ve harbored a deep, deep infatuation with Wade, but Casey took the erotic a step farther in his wrestling than his cousin ever did, and for that we (and, I’m sure, Dick the Prick) are grateful.
Topher zoomed right in on cock #3 as belonging to…
…Naked Kombat’s DJ.
And impressively, Topher managed to tease out that this beautiful uncut cock-shot comes from DJ’s masterful humiliation of Dragon, who I gave a hard time for in my review of the match because I think Dragon has a dangerously low BMI (thus I’d buy him a hamburger). DJ’s cock in the sex round is a marvel. The python is so long, it’s no wonder that every opponent he faces at one time or another delights in racking up NK points by giving it a firm tug (and often suck). But lately, 9 times out of ten, most of DJ’s opponents get to know his cock up close and personal as he first shoves it down their throats and then, after a pony ride, pounds it up their asses.
Cock #4 and its opponent appears to have given Topher the toughest challenge as belonging to…
Can-Am icon (Tom) Flex, staring down the gaping mouth of his opponent, Guy Bolton in their self-titled release.
There’s something cringe-inspiring in me about this pic of Guy’s teeth looking like their about to bite into Flex’s sac. It’s not as if I blame Guy, though, for reflexively opening wide with that meat hanging inches from his mouth. On the recurring theme of what rides should be offered at a homoerotic wrestling theme park, I think oiling up a classic, naked Tom Flex and having patrons take turns in a chin-first head-scissors should rank pretty high up there.
And Topher did eventually nail down, so to speak, cock #5 and its opponents…
…as none other than Trent Diesel sitting very pretty on top of Alex Slater, after having beat Patrick Rouge right out of the arena.
Hot damn! There’s just nothing about Trent’s body that doesn’t rock me hard. His ass was featured in the very first Name That Ass quiz. I’m sure his tats will show up in a Name That Tat quiz. And in addition to being the reigning title holder as my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy, Trent is also the inaugural and subsequently 2-time homoerotic wrestler of the month. Do you get the impression that I’m a fanatic? His “tie” in his last singles match at NK still sits under my skin, but Trent’s stock, just like that absolutely picture perfect erect cock of his, continues to trend decisively upward.
Frankly, I think Topher’s accomplishment this week should signal that he needs to start his own homoerotic wrestling blog, but I’ll understand if he doesn’t. It’s a time suck, big time, and there are always critics lurking around the corner to slap you around if you get too full of yourself on your own blog. But Topher is absolutely teacher’s pet, and he deserves a hearty congratulations and a swift smack on the ass. Well done!
Six Degrees of Separation
I like to think of myself as versatile. For example, I’m deeply aroused by grunting, sweaty carnal aggression building to domination and humiliation (particularly in the wresting ring). At the same time, it’s also absolutely true that passionate tenderness exchanged between two men is also a fantastic turn-on for me. A deep, lingering, all-in kiss does, not infrequently, put me over the top.
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| BBW v Liam Ryan – BG East’s Squared Circle 3: The Contest |
In the spirit of the old children’s game “telephone,” or more contemporarily, “six degrees from Kevin Bacon,” I’ve been having a great deal of fun tracing the tag of homoerotic wrestling kisses. For example, let’s randomly start with this pic of the Brooklyn Bodywrecker mounting little Liam Ryan (the ring rope caught between their crotches makes me swoon). Liam looks understandably entranced with the naked muscle stud heel pausing from his path of destruction to, dare I say lovingly, plant a passionate kiss on him.
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| Liam Ryan v Iain Scott – BG East’s Britbouts 2 |
Those same lips of little Liam also enjoyed tasting Scottish hunk Iain Scott, who looks almost chummy in this stolen moment of tenderness, belying the brutal discipline he has in store for his twink opponent.
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| Iain Scott v Sean Patrick – BG East’s Sexy Showdown 3 |
It was also hunky Iain’s lips that hungrily paused in his crotch-staining treatment of Sean Patrick to apply a passionate liplock.
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| Sean Patrick v Dick the Prick – BG East’s X-Fights 22 |
Of course, it was Sean Patrick who was known notoriously as “the Kisser,” with his understandably incapacitating go-to maneuver of sucking face, like he did with Dick the Prick, seemingly sucking the fight right out of his opponent, at least momentarily.
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| Dick the Prick v Jeff Jordan – BG East’s Wrestle Shack 1 |
Dick the Prick, in turn, enjoyed more than one passionate oral exchange, such as this stunningly gorgeous embrace post-match with the beautiful Jeff Jordan.
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| Jeff Jordan v Luis Camacho – BG East’s Matmen 15 |
I find it no surprise at all that Jeff Jordan’s opponents often couldn’t help themselves, with Jeff’s prone, fit, muscle body underneath them and his devastatingly handsome face looking up at them, but to tenderly cradle his head and pull his lips to theirs. Luis Camacho apparently never wrestled, much less paused mid-wrestling to kiss the Brooklyn Bodywrecker, but Luis kissed Jeff Jordan, who kissed Dick the Prick, who kissed Sean Patrick, who kissed Iain Scott, who kissed Liam Ryan, who did, indeed, enjoy kissing the Brooklyn Bodywrecker. Damn, I’d like to get in on that daisy chain…
Backseat Driving
Yesterday I was full of myself sufficiently to presume to offer advice to the hardworking, creative minds at Rock Hard Wrestling. I’m such a backseat driver. Worse, I’m the first to admit that I’ve never in my life produced a homoerotic wrestling video, so I’m sure I can’t imagine the challenges of working with athletes, sets, lights, cameras, gear… Producers of homoerotic wrestling are always free to slap me upside the head and chew me out for second guessing them all the time.
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| Dane Tarsen v Leo Lessard – BG East’s Britbouts 2 |
One thing I recommended to RHW yesterday was that even without explicitly sexing it up, they’d probably speak even more provocatively to the gay wrestling kink crowd with some of the bread ‘n’ butter devices that signal a wrestling match is at the very least implicitly homoerotic, and not just latently. For example, some nipple torture seems to me to be a tried and true move that directly links dominating pain and homoerotic pleasure.
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| Chip Slater v Jeff Jordan – BG East’s Wrestlefest 2 |
Take Chip Slater and Jeff Jordan from BG East’s Wrestlefest 2 (I love that entire collection!). Chip is a notorious sadist who, I believe, never failed to crank on his opponent’s balls with awesome viciousness. Perhaps it was when Jeff had the temerity to grind Chip’s nose against his pec in a face-rearranging side headlock that Chip couldn’t help but notice the beautiful target of Jeff’s nipples. Sure enough, climbing on top and twisting until the hunk screamed, Chip latched onto Jeff’s nipple like a clothespin.
Shane McCall, who was in the audience for Wrestlefest 2, must have been taking notes. When Shane had a go at Jeff a while later for X-Fights 23, he seemed to be taking a long, hard look at Jeff’s sweaty pecs and shiny nips as Shane reveled in the sight of his domination in the mirror in front of him. Did Shane have a flashback to Chip’s assault on those very same big nipples?
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| Shane McCall v Jeff Jordan – BG East’s X-Fights 23 |
Whether or not it was an echo of Chip, Shane inevitably slapped Jeff to his back, immobilized the hunk’s right arm behind his neck and trapping Jeff’s left arm underneath Shane’s body. With Jeff’s big, round pecs completely vulnerable and open, Shane grabbed hold and cranked on the dial with gusto.
The pain contorting Jeff’s face juxtaposed with the wide eyed, enraptured joy on Shane’s face as he watches the fruits of his labors is absolutely smokin’ hot.
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| Dick the Prick v Patrick Donovan – BG East’s Ringwars 4 |
When Patrick Donovan faced Dick the Prick in Ringwars 4, you had to expect Patrick’s broad, sexy pecs and gorgeous nipples to be in the sights of the Prick. Pretty much everyone had a go at squeezing every ounce of suffering from Patrick around that point in his career. Tall, handsome, lanky but with aesthetically compelling muscle tone, Patrick was on the menu over and over again.
Which made it all the sweeter when Patrick laced those mile long legs around the Prick’s abdomen and trapped Dick’a arms over his head, in order to have an unobstructed angle to pinch the punk’s right nipple. You can just see the look of fierce concentration forming as Patrick begins to go to town. There were a lot more blunt forms of abuse that Patrick could have employed at that very point, but his choice to twist the Prick’s nips so methodically signals to me that this is far from being simply about beating his opponent. This is about the delivery of pain for both physical and sexual domination.
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| Bud Orton v Mark Nelson – BG East’s Wrestleshack 4 |
There was nothing but sexual domination that ever seemed to be on Bud Orton’s mind. Bud seemed to have a look about him as if he was perpetually moments away from an orgasm. Sweat soaked and aroused in Wrestleshack 4, he looks absolutely ravenous as his gaze fixes on Mark Nelson’s pecs.
Trapping Mark’s wrists behind his back, sure enough, Bud proceeds to torture his opponent’s nipple with his teeth. Of course, anything done with a wrestler’s mouth is going to be that much more homoerotic than if it were done with any other part of the body. RHW may want to pay it straighter than that, but the theory stays the same: some focused attention on nipples signals this is homoeroticism and not just latent sexuality disguised as macho aggression.
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| Rusty Stevens v Mitch Colby – BG East’s The Breaking Point |
Examples are everywhere, of course. One of my favorite examples to illustrate pretty much anything is Rusty Stevens‘ clash of the titans with Mitch Colby in The Breaking Point. Rusty puts on a cocky, “I’m impervious” face to start any competition, but the display of his gorgeous body above seems to center his left nipple like a target.
And, indeed, Mitch takes aim and scores with a love/hate maneuver of simultaneous nipple twisting and kissing.
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| Kid Leopard v Rusty Behr – BG East’s Punishment 1 |
On and on, nipple torture has a long and storied role in the homoeroticism of homoerotic wrestling. So RHW (or any other wrestling company, for that matter) is welcome to tell me to go fuck myself for backseat driving. I’d totally understand. And yet, still, I must persist. Give me a little stronger dose of the homoerotic in my wrestling if you aim to really satisfy.
