Paris. Sigh.
In the face of gross inhumanity, and particularly in the face of religious hyper morality imposed on everyone else, I’m reminded that being gay, adoring homoerotic wrestling, putting all that out there and letting others in the world know that we’re not alone… all of that is a political expression of liberty. In the spirit of loving on the French, let me just acknowledge a few of the Frenchmen I’ve adored.
After Rudolph was the first to correctly identity the beautiful glutes in last week’s Name That Ass game, I asked him to name a topic he’d like to see a neverland post devoted to. He named a classic figure from BG East yesteryears who, I completely agree, has been woefully neglected in the pages of this blog. Honoring both Rudolph’s awesome game winner and the abundant merits of the sexy ass hunk in question, let’s chat just a bit about Sean Patrick.
Sean earned the name, “The Kisser,” by doing exactly that. He used those luscious lips to lock on to an opponent mid-match and suck the fight right out of him. He came out swinging in his notable debut against BG East fixture and ever-dangerous mat daddy, DW, in Undagear 2 (you may have to ask for it, since I don’t see it listed in the online catalog at this point). A hot, long, sexy rookie leading with his lips is quite a way to establish your credentials, so it’s little wonder the BG East boys starting lining up to sample Sean’s wares.
I’ve mentioned before my impression that Christian Taylor became Sean’s heir apparent a few years later. The two bear more than a passing resemblance, at least in my estimation. Very similar body types. Less than an inch in height difference. Classically handsome, dark haired, luxuriously long. And they both have lips that absolutely scream out for some mid-match suckface. Like Christian, there was an instant, intuitive homoerotic passion whenever Sean climbed on board. Kissing shows up with remarkable regularity with both of these pretty boys.
Sean inaugurated the Sexy Showdown series at BG East in his sophomore release. His opponent, Kurt Eriksen, came loaded for bear in order to work over the audacious rookie who had the nerve to completely distract Kurt’s buddy, DW, with those sexy lip locks. So, in a way, the very concept of the Sexy Showdown franchise his built upon Sean’s searching, probing, aggressively grasping lips. There’s no need in Sexy Showdown 1 (or 2, or 3, or 4… Sean starred in them all) to read a homoerotic subtext. The eroticism is right in your face, or, more accurately, planted squarely across the lips of his opponents.
He regularly wrestled his way right out of his gear, and the lovely, lean stunner had an ever-ready rod proportionally long and, appropriately enough, a magnet for the mouths of many opponents. Sean broke-in epic muscle stud Iain Scott in Sexy Showdown 3, and the meat of both of these incredible studs played prominently in the explosive finish. In Showdown 4, Sean’s sword was once again unsheathed by sweaty muscle pig Bud Orton, who uses Sean’s incapacitation in a steamy figure-4 headlock to make the Kisser lose his load, and the match, but in Sexy Showdowns, who really loses?
Sean also helped inaugurate the Tag Team Torture franchise, starring in what I continue to think of as the paradigmatic example of the essence of homoeroticism in wrestling by teaming up with Patrick Donovan and running into the brutal heel-buzzsaw of vicious, sadistic, perpetually horny Cruze and Jose. There’s so much right about that bout. The pitch perfect positioning of beautiful, lean babyfaces staring down meaty, hungry heels is spot on. Sean and his brave compatriot, Patrick, play their parts with skills that no pair of rookies should be able to, bravely flinging themselves again and again into the breach. And the 2-on-1 double teams, brutal humiliation, and total disregard for common decency of Cruze and Jose send this match hurtling headlong into a genre-defining moment, as Sean and Patrick are stripped naked (Cruze also peels off his own trunks, but just because he’s so fucking turned on!), brutalized, and stacked like cordwood in an innovative double-dose suffering of a camel clutch/boston crab combination. Just for kicks, and judging by the size of Cruze’s erection, he’s getting a major kick out of it, the heels finally force the doomed babyfaces into face-to-face simultaneous camel clutches, topping off (me) the homoeroticism by forcing the humiliated twosome to suck face on command. That’s got to be in my top 5 most insanely sexy matches!
Sean cemented his credentials as one of the founding fathers of explicit sexiness in homoerotic wrestling by starring in two X-Fights, first against Dick the Prick in X-Fights 22, then against Ian Nesbitt in X-Fights 23. Check out this sizzling match description of The Kisser at the peak of his wrestling prowess and reputation:
“As this erotic epic begins “the Kisser” traps cute Ian in a vicious spladle neckcrank and the tone is set for some very aggressive mat mayhem. The feisty Scot counters with a ballgrab and a surfboard submission, but that just provokes Sean’s mean streak: Ian soon finds his face repeatedly forced into Sean’s crotch, wedged under his bare feet, defenseless against Sean’s infamous liplocks! After Ian “wedgies” his trunks, Sean cranks on a nasty boston crab and then makes him scream in a surfboard. Visibly horny, Sean strips the now less-resistant Ian, trapping him in a nude guillotine/legsplit complete with cocklock and kissing! More humping, more feet in face, with Ian finally “exploding” his load trapped in Sean’s figure-4 headscissors. As Ian cries “I submit,” Sean shoots his load on the Scot’s pretty face. Intensely erotic mat punishment. HOT!”
Sean’s final match. as far as I can tell, was against his former tag team partner Patrick Donovan in Submissions 6. Apparently there was no love left by the time the two lean stars collided on the mat. Maybe the shared public humiliation at the hands of Cruze and Jose was what ratcheted up their Submissions 6 collision to such a vicious, fevered pitch. There was still kissing, of course, but holy fuck, it was so brutal, so aggressive! They nearly rip each other’s heads off in this battle. Face sitting, crotch-ripping, neck-wrenching full nelsons and tit-for-tat guillotines… maybe this was always going to be about determining who has to walk away with the lion’s share of the Tag Team Torture 1 shame. Whatever the reason, we don’t seem to have heard from The Kisser since settling his score with Patrick.
So, on behalf of Rudolph, let me just put this out there into the ether: what did ever happen to Sean Patrick!? Is he still wrestling somewhere? Is he a corporate banker with 3 kids and a 4th wife? Rudolph wants to know, and I’m first in line if anyone can track The Kisser down for an interview. Spread the word. Lots of us have plenty of love left for Sean Patrick!
Neverland reader John let me know that he’s a big BG East fan, and he asked me an excellent question: “How about a competition for the sexiest Brit?” My answer: that’s an excellent suggestion! Coming up with a short list of my nominations for the sexiest homoerotic wrestling Brit was a surprisingly difficult task. I asked John to give me his top 5 sexy BG East Brit battlers, and then I painfully limited myself to add only 5 more to the short list. I’m confident that voters will want to add some worthy hunks we’ve left off of our lists, so when you register your vote to the right, you have the option to select “other” and then name your pick in the comment section to this post. So many mouthwatering Britboys to choose from… but which one do you think is sexiest?
In alphabetical order, here are the nominations for this month’s Reader’s Poll:
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| Chris Burnley – 5’7″, 165 lbs. |
Chris Burnley is nothing short of striking. Of course, he can punch the shit out of an opponent’s abs, but I also mean visually striking, wrestling with his essentially hairless, milky pale, fantastically sexy body. He turned up the heat in 4 BG East matches, and with each appearance, he packed more muscle onto his bulging, pale body, always starkly contrasted by that adorable little boy face. Sexy Britboy wrestler without a doubt. Sexiest?
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| Rob Chandler – 5’5″, 143 lbs. |
Rob Chandler has made a massive impression in his 4 BG East outings. In his first appearance, BG East described him as looking like “the bastard love child” of Aryx Quinn and Cole Cassidy. That was pretty much all I needed to know to be entranced, but catch that rock hard physique, the gorgeous ink, and the jaw dropping beer can hanging between his legs, and you’ll know why he’s on this list. As with all things around these parts, it’s far more than just the visuals, and Rob is as erotically intense a wrestler as just about any. Just about?
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| Ty Garrison – 5’10”, 168 lbs. |
This list would clearly not be complete without a push for Ty Garrison. He’s burned up the mats in 11 BG East matches. His body is lucious, his game face is fierce, and his wrestling is merciless. The heat he generates motivates some of the most explicitly sexual homoerotic wrestling in the BG East archives.
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| Neil Hewitt – 6′, 168 lbs. |
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| Mike Martin – 5’7″, 150 lbs. |
16 matches loaded with buckets of Mike Martin’s sweat are more than enough to qualify this workhorse as a contender in this poll. He’s another star of an amazingly hot collection of X and XXX fights, and even when he keeps his kit on, he’s bringing sexy to every venue BG East owns on both sides of the Atlantic. He’s got a body built for grappling, and a fight face that should make any opponent think twice. But I think it’s that heart melting, adorable smile that’s his best weapon at disarming and distracting.
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| Ethan Pryor – 5’9″, 170 lbs. |
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| Steve Ranger – 5’8″, 172 lbs. |
Wowsers! Talk about buckets and buckets of sexy sweat! Steve Ranger has caused a tidal wave with his lickable, powerhouse body and prove-it attitude in all 4 of his BG East matches. A shaved head always inspires a double-take from me, and giving Simon Forrester (who I’m kicking myself for not being able to squeeze onto this list) everything he’s got both on the motel mattress and in the shower, Steve is a seriously sexy contender.
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| Mickey Rollins – 170 lbs. |
Mickey Rollins caught my attention wrestling against Belgian sexpot, Dane Tarsen (at least John and I think Dane’s Belgian). Mickey is dripping with sexiness at all times. His ripped, lean body looks like classic sculpture, and his evolving facial hair in the 3 matches he wrestled for BG East is playful and just a little sinister. If Mickey had ever failed to get stripped naked in a wrestling match, it would have been a national shame. Bounce a quarter off those tight abs and tell me if Mickey is the sexiest Brit in the bunch.
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| Gabriel Ross – 5’4″, 135 lbs. |
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| Iain Scott – 5’10”, 168 lbs. |
Scottish muscleman and wrestling fetish evangelist, Iain Scott, quickly came to mind for both John and me when we were working on this list. Iain’s body is powerful and powerfully arousing. His chest is astonishingly broad. And, as John put it, it’s hard not to be in awe of Iain’s “lovely dick and wonderful arse!” Iain’s 9 matches for BG East are some of the foundational texts in the history of homoerotic wrestling, and all reports are that he’s continued to promote homoerotic wrestling independently in the UK. Pucker up and get ready to plant a wet one on that mammoth crotch of his if you fail to acknowledge the founder of Ruff N’ Raunchy as sexiest Brit in the bunch.
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| Chris Xaos – 6’1″, 170 lbs. |
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| BBW v Liam Ryan – BG East’s Squared Circle 3: The Contest |
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| Liam Ryan v Iain Scott – BG East’s Britbouts 2 |
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| Iain Scott v Sean Patrick – BG East’s Sexy Showdown 3 |
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| Sean Patrick v Dick the Prick – BG East’s X-Fights 22 |
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| Dick the Prick v Jeff Jordan – BG East’s Wrestle Shack 1 |
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| Jeff Jordan v Luis Camacho – BG East’s Matmen 15 |
He hasn’t wrestled recently for BG East, but I just found a couple clips under Iain Scott’s name on YouTube that look fairly recent, with some accompanying photos from one of his opponents. BG East’s profile puts Scott at 5’10” and 168 pounds when he wrestled for them, but British Bulldog Wrestling has him at a much more likely 195. He’s still has one massively solid, muscle-bod. In the underground clips, he looks like he may have some gray hairs, but he’s still sporting that major league, bigger-than-your-average-white boy ass that’s really a sight to behold. His BGE matches frequently seemed to end up with various appendages in assorted orifices. His big vs. little squash of Simon Forrester in BritBouts 5 has him with an evil looking goatee and tight red trunks that make him look like he’s smuggling an orange up front. But that butt… that’s the moneymaker. A lot of the homoerotic wrestling boys are either prettier or “uglier” (in that hot way) these days, but Iain was always just one massive hunk of hot with a thrilling sadistic side that nearly always took him from grappling to groping seamlessly. I love me the classics!
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