And the Nominees Are…

Tonight. Midnight. Submit your votes for the Best of BG East in 2016. I realize that I’m atypical when it comes to how many BG East matches I watch over the year, so this little voter’s guide is intended to help fill in any blanks some of you may have for lack of exposure to some of the nominees. If 2016 teaches us nothing else, it proves that nothing requires us to be educated and informed voters. However, if you prefer to vote based on something other than your cock’s reaction to one still photo, but you don’t have time to see the whole ballot of matches, feel free to consider my opinions for what they’re worth (which is relatively little, but a little more than voting with no basis whatsoever).

Let’s power through the remaining categories to finish off your ballot.

Best Mat Battle

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Babyface Brawl 4 – Cameron Matthews vs. Jonah Richards

It’s a little surprising to consider this match “from the vaults” for a 2016 award. Both Jonah and especially Cameron were so young in this match. It’s hard not to superimpose what we know about how Cameron grew up, muscled up, and launched his own production company since this match was taped. I loved this match immensely. It’s rough and raw. The boys clearly hate the fuck out of each other. Lovely, lickable twinks who may look like babies but wrestle like nasty back alley brawlers.

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Gazebo Grapplers 18 – Kid Karisma vs. Mason Brooks

It’s a close call for me, but my vote goes to Kid K and Mason. Both of these beautiful boys are perennial favorites of mine, so I had very high hopes for this match going in. They didn’t disappoint, and in fact the intensity is even hotter, the bodies even more beautiful, and the mat wrestling drama even more compelling than I’d expected. It also helps that these hunks so enjoy each other’s bodies. It’s cocky and playful and reads like the hottest foreplay in history.

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Undagear 25 – Jake Jenkins vs. Attila Dynasty

Similarly, I’ve never seen a match that includes JJ or Attila that fails to get me off. It’s a match up of an amateur mat champ and a ripped, acrobatic brawler. These are both thoroughbred athletes with massive egos, so the action is brutal and vicious. Not nearly as much erotic heat as Gazebo 18, but magnificent mat wrestling nonetheless.

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Wrestler Spotlight 3 Austin Cooper vs. Jake Ryder

The narrative behind Coop and Ryder’s mat tussle is great. Coop’s competitive amateur wrestling days seem so far behind him, since he’s been showing up as Dr. Cooper and dissecting opponents like a heart surgeon (aka, mercilessly) in the ring. So Jake seems to be unaware that Coop kicks ass on the mats as well. Ryder lies and cheats his way into putting the doctor into serious jeopardy, but in a lush mash up of babyface Austin and his Dr. Cooper heel alter ego, this mat battle turns nasty pro.

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Undagear 26 – Van Skyler vs. Payton Meadows

I’ve written a small novel about what this match does for me, so I’ll try not to repeat myself. What grabs me by the balls most is how both of these dazzlingly pretty boys show us something completely new. They’re gorgeous. The wrestling is completely ego driven. They’re gorgeous. The dialogue is sensationally sexy. They’re gorgeous. And the all in, vicous submissions are way more intense and work than I expect to see from supremely pretty boys like this. Oh, yeah, and they’re gorgeous.

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Undagear 25 – Drake Marcos vs. Ethan Andrews

Speaking intensity born of dislike, Drake and Ethan rip into each other with a passion that can’t quite be described with words. They’re mean to each other. They’re vicious and brutal. It turns sensationally sexy as the gear gets stripped, but not so much because they turn each other on, but because you get the impression that the final victory lap (after the pony ride) could very well be a domineering, taunting, sneering, contemptuous fuck. Buckets of sweat. A couple pints of tears. Lush bodies. This is a very close second choice for me.

 

Hottest Liplock

We almost certainly all know what we like about liplocks. I like sweat, palpable passion, a tablespoon of aggression, and authentic lust. Here are your options.

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Dark Knights 13 – Kayden Keller vs Beauxregard

I’m in an ethical dilemma when it comes to giving you a look at the first nominee for Hottest Liplock. BG East has an embargo on me sharing any of their pics that contain full frontal, and yet the only shots of this liplock include both wrestlers with their full-mast cocks in hand. So I’m hoping that I’ll be forgiven for cropping out the bottom of this shot, to stay within the strictly PG requirements I’ve agreed to, despite having to drop the BG East copyright at the bottom of the photo. If this photo suddenly disappears and is replaced by a puppy, you’ll know that I have been asked, and as always I’ve agreed, to a request from the copyright holder to remove the image. All that fine print aside, this is a hot liplock, right?

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Wet & Wild 8 – Christian Taylor vs. Calvin Haynes

Sensationally sexy liplock between Christian and Calvin. The authenticity is well-established long ahead of time, as they both telegraph all along that they are turning each other on. If you still doubt it, their rock hard cocks straining the pouches of their trunks should prove the point.

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Sexy Showdown 7 – Drake Marcos vs. Nino Leone

My vote goes to Drake’s kiss-‘n’-pin of gorgeous newbie Nino “Babyboy” Leone. It ticks off all of my boxes, including sweat, passion, simmering aggression, and what is quite obviously open lust. This is one of the most brutal matches this year, which makes the incredibly tender ending that much more dizzying. Squarely in the homoerotic sweet spot.

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The Great Outdoors 2 – Charlie Evans vs. Blaine Janus

When it comes to quantity, Charlie and Blaine very well may have locked lips the most in their ginger-off in the backyard. I believe Blaine gets the award for popping Charlie’s (kissing) cherry first in his homoerotic wrestling career, but Charlie is quite clearly abundantly skilled in sucking face and using it as a defensive maneuver on the mats. For kissing as chess match move, I give this liplock a close second place on my ballot.

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Motel Madness UK: Chris Xaos vs. Mike Martin

I get the impression that I am as big a fan of Chris Xaos as most of the rest of you are of Mike Martin. So between the two of us (you, me), we should be crazy for their scorching hot mat match this year. The liplock is more teasing than passionate, for my tastes. That said, I’d change my vote for a chance to stick my tongue down Chris Xaos’ throat (well, if he’s naked).

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Undagear 26: Christian Taylor vs. Jeremy Burk

There’s nothing teasing about Christian and Jeremy’s passion at the end of their hot and rough mat match. This is a full on make out session, and it’s lathered in sweat, and it’s got a half a cup of aggression still playing out, and I fully believe these boys are into each other. Christian is the reigning kissing master at BG East, which may work against him this time around for the potential vote splitting with his liplock on Calvin.

 

Best Wrestler Spotlight

It seems like a testimony to a wrestler’s marketability to get an entire DVD release devoted to one person. So the three nominees this year for Best Wrestler Spotlight represent some major fan favorites.

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Wrestler Spotlight: Biff Farrell

Biff follows up with his victory as Debut of the Year last year with multiple nominations across the ballot, including for his Wrestler Spotlight. He’s compelling and gorgeous. I actually think the strength of this collection is in the quality of his opponents, though. You get the impression everyone wants a shot at this ridiculously hot beefcake. This is a very close second place for me.

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Wrestler Spotlight: Austin Cooper (3)

Has anyone ever starred in 3 Wrestler Spotlight DVDs before? Although this collection tends toward showing off Coop’s work as a gorgeously bashable babyface, his mat match with Jake Ryder gives some awesome flashes of Dr. Cooper hanging out his shingle. The quality of his opponents is less consistent than the other two Wrestling Spotlights, but Coop has emerged as such a fantastic, complex, competitive, multifaceted character, that I’m persuaded (just) to cast my vote for him.

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Wrestler Spotlight: Chace LaChance

Chace’s spotlight is sort of a retrospective of his career, featuring him as the go-go boy, the beefsteak, and the fitness model that he has been at different phases of his wrestling. His end of the bargain is less consistent than the other two Wrestling Spotlight stars, which is to be expected considering these matches come from such drastically different parts of his career. Still, although there’s nothing to complain about, I enjoyed Coop’s cubed spotlight the best.

 

Best 2016 Overall Match

Now the free for all starts.  I know well that fans are fierce about their favorites, and when comparing apples to oranges, there’s no pretense of objectivity or even a measurable standard to point to. Seven times out of 10, I’m biased toward ring matches. I tend to favor big personalities and hot bodies in equal measure. I like to be surprised. I like to be made to laugh. And it is essential that I get hard.  With all those biases in mind, I’ll tell you how I see the field for Best of 2016.

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Tag Team Torture 19 – Addams & Alexander vs. Evans & Taylor

First on the ballot is my pick for the Best Overall Match at BG East in 2016. It’s an instant classic. It’s sexy as hell. Two incredible debuts. Drama, drama, drama. Very high quality pro wrestling. Intramural rivalries. And dick pic selfies. It’s everything I could want in a match (except for a copy of those dick pics).

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Matmen 26: Drake Marcos vs. Skrapper

A very close second place for me is this masterpiece on the mats between Drake and Skrapper. If I’d had the option, I very well might have picked this over Mason and Kid Karisma for the Best Mat Battle, but alas, the nominating committee didn’t see fit to give me the chance.  The wrestling is outstanding. The erotic tension is thick and juicy. And the boys are real and beautiful. The only edge TTT19 has on this for me is the full throttle pro ring vibe.

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Ring Releases 4: Drake Marcos vs. Kayden Keller

So put Drake in the ring with Kayden Keller, and you might think I’d be unable to resist. I resist, though. It swings hard for a slasher vibe, but doesn’t quite connect. TTT19 and Drake’s work in Matmen 26 hit the bullseye better. And then there’s Drake’s gear to consider (smh).

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Demolition 20: Austin Cooper vs. Kirk Donahue

Watching cocky indy pro Kirk Donahue get trampled by a “mere” underground phenom like Dr. Cooper is guaranteed to tickle my funny bone and get me hard. This is a magnificent beatdown and totally worthy of a shot at the title, but it just didn’t get my vote.

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Undagear 25: Drake Marcos vs. Ethan Andrews

That’s right, haters, Drake Marcos anchors a full half of the Best Match nominees this year! I recently referred to 2016 as the year of the rookie, but it may have to be rebranded as the year of Drake. The heat is scorching in his match with Ethan. And I do love seeing bully-Ethan face off against someone who gives it right back to him. But the raw rage and bitterness don’t quite put this match over Drake’s match with Skrapper for me, and neither quite persuade me to tip them over Tag Team Torture 19.

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Gazebo Grapplers 18: Kid Karisma vs. Mason Brooks

See all my comments above about why I voted for this as Best Mat Battle, and then remind yourself that this does not take place in a wrestling ring. It’s immensely satisfying, funny, fierce and brutal, and it gets extra points in my book for Mason’s perfect (perfect) choice in undergarments. But I’m still throwing my one, lone vote to the fierce foursome in TTT19.

The real winner is you and me, of course. Such a rich, entertaining, arousing body of work from BG East in 2016 is why BG East is the first place I go for that particular mix of homoerotic wrestling that keeps me satisfied. Congratulations to all of the nominees (except for Kirk). You are, every last one of you, gorgeous to watch mix it up in the ring, on the mats, and everywhere else that the Boss’ imagination takes us. Thanks for all of the distractions in 2016 that kept me from the abyss of absolute despair over current events

Should the Opportunity Arise

There’s been a pretty insane rush to marry around my neck of the woods this weekend.  Another judge determines that blatant discrimination enshrined at any level of state law is bullshit, and the flood gates bust open. Despite my long-standing skepticism about the impact of same-sex marriage on liberty, and the screwed up priorities of aggressively pushing for marriage rights while we have no universal fair employment or housing rights, I must admit it’s quite an adrenaline rush to see moes lined up to marry.  I can almost literally feel domesticity creep over me.  The taming of same-sex partnerships, shoe-horning the vast diversity of them into the constraints of acceptable heterosexual expectations threatens even my more radical commitments to the need for revolution rather than reform.  With negotiated fidelity on the line, in the face of closeting the all-male menage a trios, the couples that date thirds, the contractual anything-goes-out-of-town loving relationships, I can just feel the gravitational pull of whitebread hetero monogamy built on centuries of religious strictures consuming us alive.  As a personal commitment to keep the “alternative” in gay, let me just affirm for me and my special someone (who reads these pages, even though we never really talk about them) a few of the wrestling hunks for whom a legally “libertarian” inclusion into the structure of one-man-one-man loving would be instantly out the window, should the opportunity arise for some extracurricular (or, hell, three-way) activities.  I’m sure absolute monogamy is great for many, but here’s a sample of who could climb into my/our bed anytime.

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Mitch Colby… he’s all mine!
darius
Darius… I’d share him with my partner.
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Landon Conrad… I think I’d have to have him all to myself, or possibly with another one of his gorgeous pornboy stud buddies.
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Trey Dixon and Skrapper… I’d be the filling in that sandwich anytime!
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Cameron Matthews… I’d have zero inhibitions faced with him!
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Kid Karisma… all mine.
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Marcus Ruhl… more than enough to share with this massive hunk of muscle.
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Logan Vaughn… I’d need some private time with those gargantuan thighs.
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Chris Xaos… me, my partner, and ever Britboy wrestling hunk we can find can pile on!

Xaos Theory

I love the fact that BG East makes periodic excursions to the United Kingdom to scout out the hot wresting meat on that side of the Atlantic. The extended reach of BG East vicariously extends my appreciation for the breadth and depth of homoerotic wrestling, pulling me, at least occasionally, out of my provincial assumptions that have been pounded into me my entire life that the United States is the center of the universe.  There are many of the Brit-finds from BG East that spark my imagination and generate a conditioned response in my crotch to an English accent growling, “Like that?”  Yes, yes indeed. I like that.

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Chris Xaos is one of the homoerotic wrestlers from across the pond who has squeezed his hot body into my homoerotic wrestling fantasies and put down permanent roots in my imagination. Early in his career, there was a brash, tatted, pierced street punk hit that I got off of him that was tasty. The official story is that he was discovered in a pub by Brit veteran wrestler Ty Garrison, or, rather, Chris “discovered” that he recognized Garrison and immediately let him know that he’d always wanted to have a go at him.

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In other words, Chris Xaos was one of us long before BG East fans first got a look at the 6’1″, 170 lbs grappler. There was instantly something magnetic about him the first time I saw him wrestle.  Despite his chaotic name, there’s a passionate, fierce methodology about him. He wrestles straightforward, always with a playful edge, and always paired with a dangerousness that is unmistakable. The stud is big and strong enough, and he delights in dominating enough, to do serious damage to any opponent not ready to match him throw for throw.


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In his more recent releases, Chris has appeared more mature and with a goatee, both factors that exponentiate his magnetism for me. He officially graduated from boy to man when he showed up against fellow British fantasyman and favorite of mine, Rob Chandler in Motel Madness UK. That match is one of the most intimate, hottest motel matches ever produced. Chandler’s hard-on straining the fabric of his trunks alone signals exactly what the action is doing to me. The only thing missing is a bottle of baby oil and me!

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There’s a rawness and ferocity about BG East’s British collection that is incredible, particularly as it’s paired with the variety of Brit and European accents that I, like so many Americans, find entrancing. Chris Xaos is all of those adjectives: raw, fierce, and entrancing. I only wish we could get him a green card to work more regularly on this side of the pond.

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As the World Watches

I actually wasn’t going to post today, but a very sweet, direct appeal from a reader for something to divert his attention from election day anxiety convinced me otherwise.  I’m not sure what topic is appropriate for a day like today, as Americans go to the polls to cast votes with such big potential to impact people around the world.  We have way too much influence on the well-being of people worldwide, those of us who live and vote in the US.  So many people may prosper or suffer based on the (let’s face it) fickle and often superficial election choices of Americans.  So today, I honor those who have to sit on the sidelines and watch the wingnuttery of American politics play out yet again, just hoping that those crazy Americans won’t elect a(nother) nutjob who will start yet another war of expedience, exploit more of the earth’s resources while ignoring the impact of our exploitation on the global climate, or arm more wingnuts worldwide to fight wars of ideology that ultimate do nothing but increase overall human suffering.  So here are a few of the fantasy men I lust after who today, as far as I know, don’t get to vote in the 2012 US election…

Even armored in newly minted, mouthwatering muscle, high impact x-wrestler Gabriel Ross can only sit back and sip his tea, hoping that those crazy Americans get it right.  Then again, Gabriel and his UK buddies have their own political insanity to sort out on their side of the pond…

Monstercocked leatherboy Rob Chandler and dizzyingly handsome x-wrestler Chris Xaos both command my lustful adoration.  These gorgeous, nasty battlers do such things to me! But one thing that they can’t do: cast a vote for the American politicians who will undoubtedly have undue influence over the world economy and their own local well-being in the UK.  Truly, I’m sorry boys.

Ben Monaco and his hot and hairy pecs are Canadian, which is a particularly hard place to be on a day like today, I’d think.  There’s so much American shit that rolls down hill and across our northern border.  Again, Canada’s got their own bizarre politics to cope with, but at least they have universal health care.  And if it’s any consolation, at least Ben and his compatriots will have another 3 years or so before they have to hear completely ignorant and misleading American political ads warning against being “too much like Canada.”

Rio Garza compete for Mexico in fitness competitions, though his livelihoods seem intimately tied to his commercial success in the US.  I can’t imagine what the US campaign season looks like from south of the border.  Even worse than for Ben and the Canadians, Rio and his countrymen can almost certainly count on being continually demonized as the barbarian hordes beating down the gates of America, all of them drug dealers and mafioso murders who want nothing more than to sneak across the border in order to sit in their lazyboys and soak in all the free shit American’s mistakenly think we provide anyone, much less undocumented immigrants.  It’s guaranteed that U.S. policy makers will bat around Mexican interests like a cat with a ball of string, but do Mexicans get to have any voice in directly influencing their overly wealthy cousins to the north? Despite wildly misleading allegations of voter fraud (always implicating Central and South American immigrants), the answer is no.

Vlad Varek is billed a Russian cage fighter who made just one trip to this country to beat the living shit out of a few weak-assed Americans.  True story or promotional gimmick, I can’t actually attest, but if Vlad is indeed from the motherland, he’s also got to be wondering just how much more saber rattling American politics will get based on who we elect today.  The right wingers in this country still try to dabble in resurrecting Cold War terrors to motivate the electorate, and let’s face it, Russians have more than their fair share of both widespread corruption and undue influence over their neighbors, near and far.  But whether the US will keep trying to put the boogeyman mask on them or, conceivably, deploy actual diplomacy that doesn’t come at the point of our over-estimated sword, Vlad and his peeps can only wonder.

I’ve got a crrrrazy infatuation building for the particular combo of Dan the Steel Muscle God and the return of his plaything, Wimpy Boy.  These Hungarian beauties have managed to reach halfway across the globe and grab me by the balls with the intoxicating chemistry that they’ve got going.  I sweat to god, I’d do a lot of things for the chance to get my hands on SMG, but I’d give my left kidney to round out the entirely naked threesome with BOTH SMG and Wimpy Boy.  I have no idea what their politics are, but if they know what’s good for them, they’d better be hoping for increased prosperity for their army of gay US fans.  Whether they think that would come from re-electing President Obama or siding with $Romney$ and Ayn Rand budget slasher, it doesn’t really matter, does it?  Because Hungarians don’t get a vote in our crazy hot mess of an election in the US.

I’m sure there are more citizens of the world in our homoerotic wrestling universe, but those are the ones I could come up with on short notice.  Whether this little jaunt across the globe actually serves as a distraction or not from the insanity of election day in the US, I don’t know.  But for those of you like me feeling extremely tense and at least a little nauseated today with worry about the future of the US and our social and civil rights, I encourage you to pop in a homoerotic wrestling tape, lay back, and pound yourself into a stupor until the political ads start to fade.  After you’ve voted, bitches.  But then, let your favorite wrestlers take you far, far away.

Reader’s Choice – Gabriel Ross

John and I had an interesting sidebar conversation about the results of this month’s reader’s choice poll to pick the sexiest Brit on the BG East roster. Hands down, sexy, smoldering, cherubic sex fighter Gabriel Ross came out on top. It’s not as if it’s difficult to see the appeal.

Reader’s Choice – Sexiest British BG East wrestler: Gabriel Ross

Gabriel is physically breathtaking. Particularly fans into the barely legal side of the spectrum (typically not me, but I get it) would obviously be drawn to petite Gabriel. At a slender 5’4″ tall, he looks painfully young and immaculately innocent. A few seconds into a Gabriel Ross match and you’re likely to be filled with the anticipation of a corrupted youth storyline. A short time later, around the time that cherubic Gabriel has dropped his opponent with a knee to the crotch and dragged him across the room by his hair, you can’t help but quickly recalibrate your expectations. He may look like an angel, but he’s a vicious little devil with a seriously sadistic lust for taking an unsuspecting opponent completely by surprise and crushing any schoolboy bashing fantasies that he may have had.

Gabriel shows Mike Martin that he’s huge where it counts.

Appropriately enough, sweet-faced Gabriel’s first BG East opponent was the second highest vote-getter in our poll, hot ‘n horny grappler Mike Martin. At 5’7″ and 150 pounds, the opportunity to outweigh and outmuscle an opponent doesn’t drop in Mike’s eager lap often. Seeing the doe-eyed, babyfaced Gabriel smiling up at him must have inspired quite the boarding school bully fantasy for notoriously nasty Mr. Martin. What a revelation for Mike to find himself with an up close look at Gabriel’s massively bulging package as the cherubic newbie cranks out a face-to-crotch head scissors.

Mike is too distracted to realize Gabriel
has backed him into a corner!

Mike’s superior skill, experience and size were more than enough to handle lovely Gabriel. But then again, handling Gabriel can be quite a distraction in and of itself. Mike is only the first of many opponents who would find themselves compromised by the mouthwatering beauty and erotic offense of the perpetually innocent-looking hottie with the supremely squeezable ass.

The more vulnerable Gabriel becomes, the harder it is to stay focused on wrestling.

Remember, this was about the sexiest Britboy in the BG East roster, and from Gabriel’s first appearance (an X-Fight!), it was clear that the word “little” would not be on anyone’s mind once the babyfaced Lancelot unsheathed that truly astonishing sword. Some homoerotic wrestlers seem to need to warm up to the genre a bit before they lose their kit entirely. They often seem to need to work up to the point of not only going naked but showing their physical arousal on camera. Blushing beauty Gabriel has never, for a moment, appeared to have any problem in that department whatsoever.

Gabriel and Chris Xaos look like they decided well before the match began
that this would be an X-Fight.

And again, appropriately enough, Gabriel has shown his stuff against the 3rd place finisher in the poll as well. His X-Fight with tender punk Chris Xaos was a visual feast for someone with a catchweight fantasy, which I’m often nursing. Chris stands 9 inches taller and about 35 pounds heavier than beautiful Gabriel, and the pairing makes for some stunningly gorgeous homoerotic wrestling sculpture.

Chris Xaos sizes up his not-so-little opponent after all.

The contrast is striking and hot! Chris controls and contorts his petite opponent like an upperclassmen showing the ropes to a tasty little morsel from a few years behind. I find it incredibly erotic to see Chris taking it to Gabriel and enjoying the spoils by lustfully stroking and studying Gabriel’s angelic body. Chris loves this assignment, and damn it all if Gabriel doesn’t seem to get worked harder and harder the more he suffers in the bigger man’s grip.

Mouthwatering!

Homoerotic wrestling, of course, is not at all only about wrestling prowess and physical strength. Gabriel has a whole arsenal of high powered assets that never fail to serve him very, very well, even against opponents as big and brutal as Chris Xaos. Just that luscious bubble butt alone throws Chris off script, as the big man pauses to plant a juicy kiss on Gabriel’s barely thonged ass.

Even when he’s totally helpless,
Gabriel is more than a handful.

Chris wants to kiss it all, in fact, and the more he tortures the cherub, the harder Gabriel’s over-abundantly blessed tool becomes. Even mitts the size of Chris’ are filled to overcapacity wrapped around Gabriel’s not-so-secret-anymore weapon. The two of them sum up the most direct translation of homoerotic wrestling, wrapped tightly in an erotic ensemble of domination, pain, arousal and lust.

Gabriel’s all-man cock brings muscleboy Luc Bonay to his knees.

Gabriel is beautifully fit, but he’s no muscleboy. He’s paradigmatically babyfaced, but he’s also not a boytoy jobber. When opponents come face to face with Gabriel, they tend to look confident and just a little hungry. When they come face-to-crotch with his primetime porn-ready cock, they look more awestruck, a tad intimidated, and absolutely famished.

Gabriel’s got Jared Curzon right where he wants him.

So John and I were discussing what the votes in this poll might reveal, not just about the gorgeous Britboys who wrestle for BG East, but about neverland readers as well.  We wondered what the cross tabulation would look like if we could have parsed out the votes based on the geographical location of the voters. Does “sexy” draw our eyes to different assets depending on the culture within which we reside?

Gabriel’s boyish good looks and monster cock are a recipe
to make many fans’ mouths water.

An American homoerotic wrestling company producing British wrestlers to grapple for what we assume to be primarily an American audience, but surely with some appeal to British homoerotic wrestling fans… it seems like an incredibly complex cross-cultural concoction. What’s sexy almost certainly does have cultural reference points and relativity. On average, about 80% of neverland readers sign on from the U.S.  If the neverland constituency were reversed, would Gabriel (and Mike and Chris) have done as well?

Gabriel Ross makes hearts melt and cocks rage.

Britboy bodies, American eyes, British eyes, dollars, cents, pound and pence… happily, all of the nominees garnered some support (though I’m floored that ggggorgeous Rob Chandler got only 1 vote!). “Foreign” accents, cross-cultural concepts of male beauty, and the socially constructed perception of gay male eroticism aside, like so many of Gabriel Ross’ opponents, we’re just lucky to get to enjoy all of the hot, horny wrestling that he and his countrymen share with us from the archives of BG East. Congratulations to Gabriel, and I for one am looking forward to more of the beautiful boys from Britannia at BG East!

Reader’s Choice Poll – Sexy Brits

Neverland reader John let me know that he’s a big BG East fan, and he asked me an excellent question: “How about a competition for the sexiest Brit?” My answer: that’s an excellent suggestion!  Coming up with a short list of my nominations for the sexiest homoerotic wrestling Brit was a surprisingly difficult task.  I asked John to give me his top 5 sexy BG East Brit battlers, and then I painfully limited myself to add only 5 more to the short list.  I’m confident that voters will want to add some worthy hunks we’ve left off of our lists, so when you register your vote to the right, you have the option to select “other” and then name your pick in the comment section to this post.  So many mouthwatering Britboys to choose from… but which one do you think is sexiest?

In alphabetical order, here are the nominations for this month’s Reader’s Poll:

Chris Burnley – 5’7″, 165 lbs.

Chris Burnley is nothing short of striking. Of course, he can punch the shit out of an opponent’s abs, but I also mean visually striking, wrestling with his essentially hairless, milky pale, fantastically sexy body. He turned up the heat in 4 BG East matches, and with each appearance, he packed more muscle onto his bulging, pale body, always starkly contrasted by that adorable little boy face. Sexy Britboy wrestler without a doubt. Sexiest?

Rob Chandler – 5’5″, 143 lbs.

Rob Chandler has made a massive impression in his 4 BG East outings. In his first appearance, BG East described him as looking like “the bastard love child” of Aryx Quinn and Cole Cassidy. That was pretty much all I needed to know to be entranced, but catch that rock hard physique, the gorgeous ink, and the jaw dropping beer can hanging between his legs, and you’ll know why he’s on this list. As with all things around these parts, it’s far more than just the visuals, and Rob is as erotically intense a wrestler as just about any.  Just about?

Ty Garrison – 5’10”, 168 lbs.

This list would clearly not be complete without a push for Ty Garrison. He’s burned up the mats in 11 BG East matches. His body is lucious, his game face is fierce, and his wrestling is merciless. The heat he generates motivates some of the most explicitly sexual homoerotic wrestling in the BG East archives.

Neil Hewitt – 6′, 168 lbs.
Neil Hewitt has battled in 3 BG East matches, soaking up the pain like a sponge and clearly loving every moment of it. He can talk trash, he’s ready to exploit any weakness, and he’s got a pros in private attitude to turn a motel room into a high stakes pro arena. Hot bod, gorgeous blue eyes, and ready to throw down at a moments notice… that’s sexy!

Mike Martin – 5’7″, 150 lbs.

16 matches loaded with buckets of Mike Martin’s sweat are more than enough to qualify this workhorse as a contender in this poll. He’s another star of an amazingly hot collection of X and XXX fights, and even when he keeps his kit on, he’s bringing sexy to every venue BG East owns on both sides of the Atlantic. He’s got a body built for grappling, and a fight face that should make any opponent think twice. But I think it’s that heart melting, adorable smile that’s his best weapon at disarming and distracting.

Ethan Pryor – 5’9″, 170 lbs.
Regular readers know my infatuation with imagining mainstream newsmen as stars in homoerotic wrestling matches. So no wonder Matt Lauer’s little brother, Ethan Pryor, made it onto both John and my short lists to include in today’s poll. Horny, hairy, and a face meant for primetime, Ethan’s 4 appearances for BG East prove that he’s ready to add as many X’s as you like, and damn if he shouldn’t show up as a Hollywood leading man! When Daniel Craig hangs up his gig as 007, I’m lobbying for Ethan to take his place!
Steve Ranger – 5’8″, 172 lbs.

Wowsers! Talk about buckets and buckets of sexy sweat! Steve Ranger has caused a tidal wave with his lickable, powerhouse body and prove-it attitude in all 4 of his BG East matches. A shaved head always inspires a double-take from me, and giving Simon Forrester (who I’m kicking myself for not being able to squeeze onto this list) everything he’s got both on the motel mattress and in the shower, Steve is a seriously sexy contender.

Mickey Rollins – 170 lbs.

Mickey Rollins caught my attention wrestling against Belgian sexpot, Dane Tarsen (at least John and I think Dane’s Belgian). Mickey is dripping with sexiness at all times. His ripped, lean body looks like classic sculpture, and his evolving facial hair in the 3 matches he wrestled for BG East is playful and just a little sinister. If Mickey had ever failed to get stripped naked in a wrestling match, it would have been a national shame.  Bounce a quarter off those tight abs and tell me if Mickey is the sexiest Brit in the bunch.

Gabriel Ross – 5’4″, 135 lbs.
It’s a good thing that BG East has proof of age on record, because otherwise I’d struggle with whether I’m a lecher for being so fantastically turned on by this definition-of-a babyface known as Gabriel Ross. He’s petite, with a bouncy bubble butt and fit, not overly muscled physique. He smiles a lot at his opponents. And right about the time that they can’t help but grin back at him, he drops them flat on their asses and slaps on a humiliating face-to-crotch headscissors that makes even the big boys whimper. And no stranger to the X’s, Gabriel clearly cannot wait to unleash the disproportionately long, lovely length of pipe that he’s swinging. The face of a cherub and the cock of a porn star make for one astonishingly sexy homoerotic wrestling Brit!

Iain Scott – 5’10”, 168 lbs.

Scottish muscleman and wrestling fetish evangelist, Iain Scott, quickly came to mind for both John and me when we were working on this list. Iain’s body is powerful and powerfully arousing. His chest is astonishingly broad. And, as John put it, it’s hard not to be in awe of Iain’s “lovely dick and wonderful arse!” Iain’s 9 matches for BG East are some of the foundational texts in the history of homoerotic wrestling, and all reports are that he’s continued to promote homoerotic wrestling independently in the UK. Pucker up and get ready to plant a wet one on that mammoth crotch of his if you fail to acknowledge the founder of Ruff N’ Raunchy as sexiest Brit in the bunch.

Chris Xaos – 6’1″, 170 lbs.
Our last suggestion for sexiest homoerotic wrestling Brit is Chris Xaos. There’s just no pretense with Chris. He’s here to wrestle you to submission in order to fuck you morning, noon and night. Chris is so turned on by his work, he’s apt to distract himself just when he’s on top by indulging in a long, lusty lip lock. His BG East career so far spans 5 matches, and his story arc is getting sexier and sexier by the minute. He tends to tower over his opponents, at that long, fit frame is sporting one of the prettiest asses in the business. He looks like he could be a punk, but Chris is prone to self-sabotaging moments of tender lust, and for my tastes, that’s one sexy combination!

Both John and I are instantly reconsidering our choices, but I’ve called a halt to tinkering with it any longer. Don’t count our “top 10” choices too carefully, because I’m not willing to check my math and eliminate anyone else from contention. You know the contenders as well as we do, so if your Britboy isn’t here, register your vote as “other” and put him in the comments below.