And the Nominees Are…

Tonight. Midnight. Submit your votes for the Best of BG East in 2016. I realize that I’m atypical when it comes to how many BG East matches I watch over the year, so this little voter’s guide is intended to help fill in any blanks some of you may have for lack of exposure to some of the nominees. If 2016 teaches us nothing else, it proves that nothing requires us to be educated and informed voters. However, if you prefer to vote based on something other than your cock’s reaction to one still photo, but you don’t have time to see the whole ballot of matches, feel free to consider my opinions for what they’re worth (which is relatively little, but a little more than voting with no basis whatsoever).

Let’s power through the remaining categories to finish off your ballot.

Best Mat Battle

0731_lg.jpg
Babyface Brawl 4 – Cameron Matthews vs. Jonah Richards

It’s a little surprising to consider this match “from the vaults” for a 2016 award. Both Jonah and especially Cameron were so young in this match. It’s hard not to superimpose what we know about how Cameron grew up, muscled up, and launched his own production company since this match was taped. I loved this match immensely. It’s rough and raw. The boys clearly hate the fuck out of each other. Lovely, lickable twinks who may look like babies but wrestle like nasty back alley brawlers.

0534_lg.jpg
Gazebo Grapplers 18 – Kid Karisma vs. Mason Brooks

It’s a close call for me, but my vote goes to Kid K and Mason. Both of these beautiful boys are perennial favorites of mine, so I had very high hopes for this match going in. They didn’t disappoint, and in fact the intensity is even hotter, the bodies even more beautiful, and the mat wrestling drama even more compelling than I’d expected. It also helps that these hunks so enjoy each other’s bodies. It’s cocky and playful and reads like the hottest foreplay in history.

h0226_lg.jpg
Undagear 25 – Jake Jenkins vs. Attila Dynasty

Similarly, I’ve never seen a match that includes JJ or Attila that fails to get me off. It’s a match up of an amateur mat champ and a ripped, acrobatic brawler. These are both thoroughbred athletes with massive egos, so the action is brutal and vicious. Not nearly as much erotic heat as Gazebo 18, but magnificent mat wrestling nonetheless.

h0225_lg.jpg
Wrestler Spotlight 3 Austin Cooper vs. Jake Ryder

The narrative behind Coop and Ryder’s mat tussle is great. Coop’s competitive amateur wrestling days seem so far behind him, since he’s been showing up as Dr. Cooper and dissecting opponents like a heart surgeon (aka, mercilessly) in the ring. So Jake seems to be unaware that Coop kicks ass on the mats as well. Ryder lies and cheats his way into putting the doctor into serious jeopardy, but in a lush mash up of babyface Austin and his Dr. Cooper heel alter ego, this mat battle turns nasty pro.

0135_lg.jpg
Undagear 26 – Van Skyler vs. Payton Meadows

I’ve written a small novel about what this match does for me, so I’ll try not to repeat myself. What grabs me by the balls most is how both of these dazzlingly pretty boys show us something completely new. They’re gorgeous. The wrestling is completely ego driven. They’re gorgeous. The dialogue is sensationally sexy. They’re gorgeous. And the all in, vicous submissions are way more intense and work than I expect to see from supremely pretty boys like this. Oh, yeah, and they’re gorgeous.

0633_lg.jpg
Undagear 25 – Drake Marcos vs. Ethan Andrews

Speaking intensity born of dislike, Drake and Ethan rip into each other with a passion that can’t quite be described with words. They’re mean to each other. They’re vicious and brutal. It turns sensationally sexy as the gear gets stripped, but not so much because they turn each other on, but because you get the impression that the final victory lap (after the pony ride) could very well be a domineering, taunting, sneering, contemptuous fuck. Buckets of sweat. A couple pints of tears. Lush bodies. This is a very close second choice for me.

 

Hottest Liplock

We almost certainly all know what we like about liplocks. I like sweat, palpable passion, a tablespoon of aggression, and authentic lust. Here are your options.

KK.png
Dark Knights 13 – Kayden Keller vs Beauxregard

I’m in an ethical dilemma when it comes to giving you a look at the first nominee for Hottest Liplock. BG East has an embargo on me sharing any of their pics that contain full frontal, and yet the only shots of this liplock include both wrestlers with their full-mast cocks in hand. So I’m hoping that I’ll be forgiven for cropping out the bottom of this shot, to stay within the strictly PG requirements I’ve agreed to, despite having to drop the BG East copyright at the bottom of the photo. If this photo suddenly disappears and is replaced by a puppy, you’ll know that I have been asked, and as always I’ve agreed, to a request from the copyright holder to remove the image. All that fine print aside, this is a hot liplock, right?

h0127_lg.jpg
Wet & Wild 8 – Christian Taylor vs. Calvin Haynes

Sensationally sexy liplock between Christian and Calvin. The authenticity is well-established long ahead of time, as they both telegraph all along that they are turning each other on. If you still doubt it, their rock hard cocks straining the pouches of their trunks should prove the point.

h0320_lg.jpg
Sexy Showdown 7 – Drake Marcos vs. Nino Leone

My vote goes to Drake’s kiss-‘n’-pin of gorgeous newbie Nino “Babyboy” Leone. It ticks off all of my boxes, including sweat, passion, simmering aggression, and what is quite obviously open lust. This is one of the most brutal matches this year, which makes the incredibly tender ending that much more dizzying. Squarely in the homoerotic sweet spot.

0224_lg.jpg
The Great Outdoors 2 – Charlie Evans vs. Blaine Janus

When it comes to quantity, Charlie and Blaine very well may have locked lips the most in their ginger-off in the backyard. I believe Blaine gets the award for popping Charlie’s (kissing) cherry first in his homoerotic wrestling career, but Charlie is quite clearly abundantly skilled in sucking face and using it as a defensive maneuver on the mats. For kissing as chess match move, I give this liplock a close second place on my ballot.

h0125_lg.jpg
Motel Madness UK: Chris Xaos vs. Mike Martin

I get the impression that I am as big a fan of Chris Xaos as most of the rest of you are of Mike Martin. So between the two of us (you, me), we should be crazy for their scorching hot mat match this year. The liplock is more teasing than passionate, for my tastes. That said, I’d change my vote for a chance to stick my tongue down Chris Xaos’ throat (well, if he’s naked).

h0930_lg.jpg
Undagear 26: Christian Taylor vs. Jeremy Burk

There’s nothing teasing about Christian and Jeremy’s passion at the end of their hot and rough mat match. This is a full on make out session, and it’s lathered in sweat, and it’s got a half a cup of aggression still playing out, and I fully believe these boys are into each other. Christian is the reigning kissing master at BG East, which may work against him this time around for the potential vote splitting with his liplock on Calvin.

 

Best Wrestler Spotlight

It seems like a testimony to a wrestler’s marketability to get an entire DVD release devoted to one person. So the three nominees this year for Best Wrestler Spotlight represent some major fan favorites.

h0219_lg.jpg
Wrestler Spotlight: Biff Farrell

Biff follows up with his victory as Debut of the Year last year with multiple nominations across the ballot, including for his Wrestler Spotlight. He’s compelling and gorgeous. I actually think the strength of this collection is in the quality of his opponents, though. You get the impression everyone wants a shot at this ridiculously hot beefcake. This is a very close second place for me.

h0414_lg.jpg
Wrestler Spotlight: Austin Cooper (3)

Has anyone ever starred in 3 Wrestler Spotlight DVDs before? Although this collection tends toward showing off Coop’s work as a gorgeously bashable babyface, his mat match with Jake Ryder gives some awesome flashes of Dr. Cooper hanging out his shingle. The quality of his opponents is less consistent than the other two Wrestling Spotlights, but Coop has emerged as such a fantastic, complex, competitive, multifaceted character, that I’m persuaded (just) to cast my vote for him.

0333_lg.jpg
Wrestler Spotlight: Chace LaChance

Chace’s spotlight is sort of a retrospective of his career, featuring him as the go-go boy, the beefsteak, and the fitness model that he has been at different phases of his wrestling. His end of the bargain is less consistent than the other two Wrestling Spotlight stars, which is to be expected considering these matches come from such drastically different parts of his career. Still, although there’s nothing to complain about, I enjoyed Coop’s cubed spotlight the best.

 

Best 2016 Overall Match

Now the free for all starts.  I know well that fans are fierce about their favorites, and when comparing apples to oranges, there’s no pretense of objectivity or even a measurable standard to point to. Seven times out of 10, I’m biased toward ring matches. I tend to favor big personalities and hot bodies in equal measure. I like to be surprised. I like to be made to laugh. And it is essential that I get hard.  With all those biases in mind, I’ll tell you how I see the field for Best of 2016.

1109_lg.jpg
Tag Team Torture 19 – Addams & Alexander vs. Evans & Taylor

First on the ballot is my pick for the Best Overall Match at BG East in 2016. It’s an instant classic. It’s sexy as hell. Two incredible debuts. Drama, drama, drama. Very high quality pro wrestling. Intramural rivalries. And dick pic selfies. It’s everything I could want in a match (except for a copy of those dick pics).

h0920_lg.jpg
Matmen 26: Drake Marcos vs. Skrapper

A very close second place for me is this masterpiece on the mats between Drake and Skrapper. If I’d had the option, I very well might have picked this over Mason and Kid Karisma for the Best Mat Battle, but alas, the nominating committee didn’t see fit to give me the chance.  The wrestling is outstanding. The erotic tension is thick and juicy. And the boys are real and beautiful. The only edge TTT19 has on this for me is the full throttle pro ring vibe.

h0304_lg.jpg
Ring Releases 4: Drake Marcos vs. Kayden Keller

So put Drake in the ring with Kayden Keller, and you might think I’d be unable to resist. I resist, though. It swings hard for a slasher vibe, but doesn’t quite connect. TTT19 and Drake’s work in Matmen 26 hit the bullseye better. And then there’s Drake’s gear to consider (smh).

h1207_lg.jpg
Demolition 20: Austin Cooper vs. Kirk Donahue

Watching cocky indy pro Kirk Donahue get trampled by a “mere” underground phenom like Dr. Cooper is guaranteed to tickle my funny bone and get me hard. This is a magnificent beatdown and totally worthy of a shot at the title, but it just didn’t get my vote.

h0716_lg.jpg
Undagear 25: Drake Marcos vs. Ethan Andrews

That’s right, haters, Drake Marcos anchors a full half of the Best Match nominees this year! I recently referred to 2016 as the year of the rookie, but it may have to be rebranded as the year of Drake. The heat is scorching in his match with Ethan. And I do love seeing bully-Ethan face off against someone who gives it right back to him. But the raw rage and bitterness don’t quite put this match over Drake’s match with Skrapper for me, and neither quite persuade me to tip them over Tag Team Torture 19.

h0511_lg.jpg
Gazebo Grapplers 18: Kid Karisma vs. Mason Brooks

See all my comments above about why I voted for this as Best Mat Battle, and then remind yourself that this does not take place in a wrestling ring. It’s immensely satisfying, funny, fierce and brutal, and it gets extra points in my book for Mason’s perfect (perfect) choice in undergarments. But I’m still throwing my one, lone vote to the fierce foursome in TTT19.

The real winner is you and me, of course. Such a rich, entertaining, arousing body of work from BG East in 2016 is why BG East is the first place I go for that particular mix of homoerotic wrestling that keeps me satisfied. Congratulations to all of the nominees (except for Kirk). You are, every last one of you, gorgeous to watch mix it up in the ring, on the mats, and everywhere else that the Boss’ imagination takes us. Thanks for all of the distractions in 2016 that kept me from the abyss of absolute despair over current events

Getting Stronger, Lasting Longer

I’ve been trying to coordinate schedules with Jayden Mayne for nearly a year now in order to get some time with this young stud for an interview. He’s got leading man good looks, a ripped young body, and a dangerousness about him that made me take notice of him from the very beginning. We finally pulled it together for what I hope will be just the first of many interviews as this ambitious giant-killer advances further in his wrestling career.  As you’ll see, Jayden’s got plans.

jayden4
Jayden Mayne – 5’8″, 147 pounds

Bard: I’m so excited to get the chance to talk with you, Jayden.  I have documented proof that I’ve been a big fan of yours from the first time I laid eyes on you in Ringwars 19. What experience did you have when you first showed up wrestling at BG East?

Jayden: I didn’t have very much experience before I started with BGE, other than wrestling my kid brother and friends grown up.  I learned a lot from watching TV. It was something I’ve always wanted to do.  I feel like a superstar when I step into the ring.

jayden9
6’1″, 195 lb Trent Blayze can’t quite believe how far handsome lightweight Jayden pushes him in Ringwars 19.

Bard: You look like a superstar, too, stud! That face, that body, that attitude… you grabbed my attention instantly. Speaking of attitude and being a superstar, what’s it like from the inside being that ripped young stud climbing through the ropes to do battle? Who are you channeling and how would describe the persona you take with you into the ring?

Jayden: I would describe my character as a professional wrestler as being ready anytime to take on whoever dares to step into the ring with me, no matter how big he may be.  I think people underestimate the smaller guys in this line of work.  I’ve always been portrayed as the “underdog,” but I’ll tell you, I always put up a hell of a fight.

Bard: Damn straight, you do!  I love that edginess that you have when you wrestle.  I’m stunned that you didn’t have much prior experience because I always read you as seriously dangerous, even going against much bigger guys.

jayden8
Jayden loves the feel of a flipping big man across the ring!

Jayden: I live for that challenge! There is nothing better than flipping a 220+ pound beast over my head and seeing the look on their face as they fly overhead. I like taking on bigger opponents because I like that challenge. I’m working hard right now to get my weight up and hope to be around 160 pounds in my next bout. Then maybe me and Joe Robbins can meet again, except I’ll be doing the bulldozing!!!

jayden11
Big Joe Robbins is a giant Jayden couldn’t conquer… yet!

Bard: I’m a little breathless right now just hearing you call out 240 pound Joe Robbins for a rematch.  Save me a front seat for that show!  I’ve got a major soft spot for a smaller guy who puts major hurt on the big boys.  Therefore, clearly, it should come as no surprise that I love watching your matches.  So you’ve wrestled in the ring, the BG East gazebo, the backyard. Where do you feel you wrestle best?

Jayden: I feel like the ring best suits my fighting style. I like to throw some punches, as you saw in Gloved Gladiators. The ring allows me to do that and use my quickness and agility to my advantage.

Bard: Another thing I feel like I pick up from your ring persona is that you’re likely to say shit like it really is.  So I’m just going to throw this out there and see where it goes: who’s the most annoying opponent you’ve faced so far?

jayden10
Attila Dynasty was quite a dick.

Jayden: Attila.  He talked a big game but seemed like he couldn’t handle the heat when I put the beat to him with the gloves. So he had to resort to a low blow to gain the edge on me.

Bard: See, that’s what I mean!  I just knew you’d wouldn’t be one of these wrestlers who tries to avoid saying the honest shit about opponents.  And I love that you mention that match with Attila.  You owned that acrobatic son of a bitch when it was a boxing match. I thought you were going to knock him out before the gloves came off, despite knowing full well that this is BG East wrestling we’re talking about. But then holy crap, he exploits the low blows and rides you relentlessly. What a dick.  And I mean that both literally and figuratively.  Is there anybody you’ve met at BG East who you’d call out for being all talk?

jayden
Jayden executes the upset of the century on the “unstoppable” Jake Jenkins in Gazebo Grapplers 13.

Jayden: Jake Jenkins was a big talker, but I wrapped that boy up! (laughing)

Bard: Hell yes you did!  I did not see that coming either.  And knowing now that you had very little wrestling background makes that match that much more astonishing, since Jake is constantly billing himself as the total package, high school state wrestling champ, MMA fighter, fitness model, etc. etc..  The look of shock on his face getting owned by you is priceless!  Who have you met at BG East who seems like someone you could hang out with, go drinking with and enjoy?

Jayden: I would like to party with Jonny Firestorm. He’s been in the game a while and seems “real” to me. I’d definitely toss a few cold ones down with Jonny.

Bard: Solid choice, I think.  Jonny seems like he has a lot of friends who speak highly of him. My mind keeps going back to your Catchweight match against gargantuan Joe Robbins. When you’re walking into a match so overwhelmingly the underdog, when you know you’re very likely to take a major league beating, what keeps you focused?  What do you do to face down the odds and the fear?

jayden3
Jayden just gets stronger and lasts longer when he gets bulldozed by the big boys.

Jayden: I have taken a few beatings, yes, but each one makes me stronger and last longer. I was not raised as a “pansy” or a quitter. It makes me train even harder. Soon, I will be a force to reckon with!  Mark my words!!

Bard: My money is on you! What does it mean to you to be a wrestler, to be someone fans rally around and want to see more of?

Jayden: Wrestling keeps me in shape and allows me to experience something that people all over the globe only dream about! I’m very fortunate to have as many fans as I do.  I’m hoping to expand in the next year, and maybe offer some private matches or specialty videos. Is there anything Jayden Mayne fans would like to see?  Ideas?

Bard: I’m always, at all times, full of ideas for seeing hot studs like you wrestling!  I’ll start cataloging my Jayden Mayne fantasy match ideas for you now, and perhaps we’ll see some more inspiration from other fans who know you’re open to suggestions.  You mentioned that wrestling keeps you in shape. I for one, love the shape you’re in.  Is there a particular body part that you’re most proud of?

jayden5
Total package.

Jayden: I’m not proud of any certain body part, because Jayden Mayne is the total package! Do any of my fans disagree?!

Bard: I’m going to go out on a limb and say, no, there are no Jayden Mayne fans who would dare quibble with the truth that you possess an incredibly hot look, head-to-toe, including lots of great parts right in the middle.  I’m fascinated to see what you look like with an additional 10 to 15 pounds of muscle on you, once you reach that goal you mentioned.  Is there anything else you’d like to tell (or ask) fans who look forward to more wrestling from you?

Jayden: I’d like to thank all of my fans, and I plan on coming back stronger than ever. Hopefully expanding my career, doing some work for some other companies or venues as opportunities arise. I’m always open to suggestions. In fact, I’m looking forward to hearing what the fans would like to see from me next!

jayden6
Bodybuilder Darius learned the hard way not to underestimate the giant-killer Jayden Mayne.

Bard: Awesome attitude that will do nothing but earn you more fans, Jayden! And I’d just like to add that I’m just a little infatuated with your role as giant-killer, so I hope we see more of you shocking and awing the big boys who overlook an “underdog” like you. Just ask Darius or J.J. what’s at stake in not taking Jayden Mayne seriously enough! Keep us updated on what’s cooking in your world, and if you get some inspiration from fans about new career moves or custom matches, I hope you’ll feed all of our imaginations by letting us know about it.  Thanks so much for taking the time to chat with me, Jayden. I’ve got nothing but respect and high hopes for where wrestling takes you next.

jayden7
Open for suggestions, Jayden Mayne is just getting bigger, better, and hotter by the moment!

Friday Fashion

fashiondynasty5
Attila Dynasty wore it best!

It was a relatively close contest between Attila Dynasty and Lou Terassi with regard to who you thought wore those pastel pink undies best. Polls here at neverland are frequently blow outs, but Attila took the popular vote with about 60%.  Now let’s see Lou and Attila in the ring in a finish-to-start match, with the boys starting out naked and wrestling to see who gets to walk out of the ring room wearing the aforementioned gear.  Who’s with me?!

fashiondynasty7
Attila Dynasty’s trunks always have to work overtime.

Today’s Friday Fashion poll is a rare cross-production contest. N2N has been making eye catching undergear that’s been a favorite choice at Can-Am. However, a few of the BG East boys have sported N2N gear as well. Take, for example, These biker shorts from N2N. Blue, orange, and muscle sucking sexiness all over, they look like they’re painted on Rusty Stevens. But damn it all, if they don’t look like they’re painted on and aching to get ripped off UK motel battler Darren Madison, as well!  It’s another veteran heel going head-to-head with a achingly fresh faced rookie.  I think they both wear the fuck out of these trunks, but who do you think wore it best? You know the drill: check out your options and then vote below.

fashionrusty
Rusty Stevens squared off in these N2N biker shorts against Aryx Quinn in Can-Am’s Arena 2.
fashiondarren2
Darren Madison squeezed so many gorgeous bulges inside the very same biker shorts in BG East’s Motel Madness UK: New Breed?

Friday Fashion

fashioncartier
Denny Cartier wore it best.

Yowza! 2-time homoerotic wrestler of the month Denny Cartier spanked Brad Foster’s ass in the last Friday Fashion poll!  with over 81% of the vote, Denny obliterated 1-hit wonder Brad as the one who wore trunks best.  I’ve long been infatuated with Denny, so you don’t have to convince me, mind you.

denny
The sweatier Denny gets, the sexier those trunks look!

Today you’ve got what I think will be a tougher Friday Fashion choice to make.  Two extremely tasty hunks wore the same pair of pink briefs with brown trim, and both boys rocked the look hard.  Attila Dynasty or Lou Terassi.  Who wore it best? Check out the nominees and then vote below.

fashiondynasty
Attila Dynasty rocked the powder pink hard in Mat Hunks 9.
fashionterassi
Lou Terassi grabbed a ton of attention wearing the same pair of trunks out in Undagear 15. But did he wear it best?

 

 

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

Let me wipe the sweat off my brow (not to mention any other bodily fluids) and return to my senses. I’m sure I’ll spend a whole lot more time sucking out the marrow from the mouthwatering delicacies BG East has presented in their centennial catalog, but I’ve got serious business to do, now that I’ve pushed pause. I feel the need to elevate from among possibly the most competitive field I’ve ever seen one wrestler to crown as my pick for homoerotic wrestler of the month.  Occasionally, newbies to neverland demonstrate that they don’t know what I’m talking about when I laud a new HWOTM, so let me just review the concept for you who have just tuned in:

Each month, I take a look at the new releases from homoerotic wrestling producers the month prior. My usual suspects are BG East, Can-Am, Muscle Domination Wrestling, Naked Kombat, Rock Hard Wrestling, and Thunder’s Arena, and every so often an “independent producer” makes a play for serious contention (e.g., Steel Muscle God, or the rare foray into the genre by mainstream porn producers). The criteria are simple and straightforward. The wrestler I name must have appeared in a new release during the prior month, and he must be the one hunk who stands out for having turned me on the hardest. Sometimes readers read more into it than that, but that is, genuinely the scope.

Savoring the new releases that were produced in September by the above masters of wrestling-for-gay-eyes, my task was simply brutal. There are months when I actually give the title a pass because I just don’t think the field was of high enough quality, but September 2013 posed precisely the opposite problem. Way, way too much goodness streaming down, nearly drowning me as I try to keep my head above water and put everyone else but one standout wrestler into the category of also-rans. There were serious contenders from every producer on my go-to list, but in the end, I went with my gut and stuck to the premise, choosing the wrestler that turned me on hardest…

 

 

 

 

 

brad
Brad Rochelle – 6′, 190 lbs, a living legend

Brad Rochelle.  Again, particularly for those of you new to neverland, be warned that I bulldoze right through spoiler material without a passing thought for anyone wanting to remain in suspense about details of most of the matches I talk about. So if you don’t want to know particulars about the climactic chapter in the Contract series, turn away now. Because I’ve got shit I’ve simply got to say!

contract
Brad bends like none other!

First of all, Contract 10 is an awesome testimony to the masterful ensemble that has been responsible for BG East catalogs 1-100. There’s no denying that, as with every Contract DVD, Brad is “the star.” However, the climactic chapter pulls in boys in front of and behind the camera, newbies, paradigmatic veterans, cameramen, and not to be overlooked (for fear of getting my ass kicked), The Boss himself, Kid Leopard. As I’m often chided when I do the HWOTM, the quality of Contract 10 is entirely owed to everyone who is a part of it, not only Brad. But because everyone who is a part of it knows what the fuck they’re doing, they push Brad Rochelle with grace and conviction, and Brad is nothing if not ready to ride that wave and absolutely shine as the rudder to this ship.

contract2
Two muscled studs aren’t anywhere close to enough to conquer the veteran babyface Brad Rochelle!

Let me give you just a little premise to provide context. Brad’s reign of terror as the jobber-turned-heel has come to an abrupt end, now that KL has cottoned on to exactly what the legendary babyface Brad has been up to when The Boss’ back has been turned. Brad is bagged and tagged by the back office boys, dragged before KL quite literally sitting on his throne, and once again offered an escape clause to his soul-crushing small print servitude to his contract. If he can beat a wrestler of The Boss’ choosing, he can walk away a free man. If not, and I kid you not, he’s “fucked.” Yeah, that got my attention, too. Just as an aside, as The Boss is saying this, Kid Vicious is excitedly rubbing his crotch through his jeans. Yep, me too.

contract3
Brutalized babyfaces stacked like firewood.

The Boss’ right-hand man, Jonny Firestorm, takes it upon himself to toss Brad’s fine, fine ass into the ring against gorgeous baby face beauties Chace LaChance and Attila Dynasty (whose massive package, which does not quite remain contained, deserves a contract of it’s own). Yes, Brad, both of them, Jonny explains. Jonny scoffs at Brad’s incredulity, pointing out a living legend like Brad should have no problem manhandling a couple of prettyboys.  Now, Brad’s faced 2-on-1 beatings before in the Contract, and though it’s never been easy, he has (post-heel-turn) come out on top. Chace and Attila are gorgeous, acrobatic, awesome competitors, but though they crash like waves into the living legend, Brad beats the living shit out of them both, one at a time. The boys are humiliated, and Brad is a fucking fantastic bully every step of the way.  He taunts and torments them. He teases and reviles them. This is incredibly hot wrestling domination, brought to a sudden and screeching halt when Jonny abruptly knocks Brad out cold with the video camera and tells the babyface wonder-twins that “the fix is on!” As Jonny leaves to show hit footage to The Boss, Chace and Attila go to town on the dazed man who has defined homoerotic wrestling suffering for a generation of us. One long 2-on-1 session brings Brad to the edge of endurance. They rip and pry and crush him. And with pathos dripping from the screen like sweet honey, the babyface hero battles back from exhaustion and rips victory from the jaws of defeat.

contract4
Jeremy Tyler absolutely crushes Brad!

When Jonny returns to find Brad post-victory, he pounds the living legend in the face with his video camera so hard that the equipment breaks into pieces! Brad is OUT, waking only to find himself staring way, way up at pornboy wrestling muscle monster BG East newcomer, Jeremy Tyler, in the BG East matroom. I’m not sure if Brad’s nursing a concussion, but he probably is, based on his complete defenselessness against Jeremy’s pounding, grinding, ominously slow onslaught. I’m dying to see the original footage to this match, because the camera fades in and out, I’m guessing capturing Brad’s own slippery hold on consciousness as he’s dismantled, demoralized, and finally forced to flex in complete submission. “Flex for me!” Jeremy snarls in his rumbling bass voice, ripping the shoulder straps of Brad’s singlet down and showing that his muscles are decisively bigger than the “legend’s.”

contract9
The Boss grabs hold and gets ready to deliver on his promise to make sure Brad is truly fucked.

Brad comes too, once again back in the BG East ring, now cuffed into the ropes and at the mercy (like, when wasn’t he?) of Kid Leopard. There are lines that have not been crossed with Brad, as far as I can recollect. If someone is going to cross lines, however, it’s going to be The Boss. Brad is viciously controlled by a full throttle ball claw. He’s battered and beaten by the master himself, heel-in-chief, the man who defined “homoerotic wrestling heel” even more prototypically than Brad defined “homoerotic wrestling jobber.” The Boss squeezes those luscious melons of Brad’s glutes. He yanks, hard, on Brad’s trunks to deliver one of the most mouthwatering and anticipated wedgies in history.

contract8
They call him The Boss for a reason!

The Boss suspends Brad like a trophy elk across the top turnbuckle, choking him with his belt in one hand and crushing Brad’s testicles with abandon in the other hand. Brad screams. Brad chokes. Brad coughs in that way that he has, communicating with ever inch of his body and breath that he’s on the edge of panic and annihilation. And though I’ve mentioned it before, I just need to say again, his wedgied ass is a work of art!

contract7
The master’s tools…

KL kicks the babyface carcass out of the ring and looks ready to put him out and make Brad pay-up on those terms he “negotiated” earlier, when shockingly, the babyface turns the tables. Slipping on a face-smothering kiss-of-death, he catches The Boss by surprise. That’s right, babyface Brad latches on Kid Leopard’s own signature hold, outmuscling the Man. Jonny Firestorm walks into the ring room and is shocked to see KL nearly out cold, desperately waving Jonny over to intervene.  “Just walk away,” Brad snarls darkly at The Boss’ intimidated henchman. Jonny wavers, second guesses, but the fierce look on Brad’s face (and possibly Brad’s glorious physique flexed and clutching his prey like a boa), convince Jonny to obey… Brad!

contract6
Where no wrestler’s lips have gone before…

The carnage is fucking epic! Brad quite literally and, no shit, honest to god in fact, nearly drowns Kid Leopard, first in his own bidet, and then in his own toilet. The living legend has had so much more than enough. He brutalizes the heel-in-chief like I’ve certainly never seen before, finally “forcing” Kid Leopard to kiss his beautiful ass (oh, please, Br’er Fox, don’t throw me into the briar patch), and finally, climactically, flexing and threatening him from behind, makes The Boss sign the “release clause” in the bane of his life for the past 8 years: the Contract.

brad10
Brad Rochelle – HWOTM and career finale in Catalog 100?!

This entire DVD is a work of art. You know how much I love a well-told narrative, and the boys at BG East have pulled out all the stops to deliver a compelling, shocking, climactic story of revenge, retribution, reckoning, and, perhaps, redemption. Like I said, there are no unessential elements in this production, so naming Brad HWOTM is not to imply he got there on his own. However, he more than carries through on his part of the bargain, selling both wrestling domination, soul-wrenching suffering, and a rageful, righteous reckoning that ties together every sordid chapter in the Contract series. The finale of Brad’s Contract is a perfect bookend to its beginning. And based on that finale, I have to question whether I’ll ever have another chance to name Brad Rochelle HWOTM, considering he is literally soaking in the sun on the beach and laughing to himself about what KL must have in store for Jonny “Firefly” after his second-in-command walked away and left him to the babyface’s retribution.  All of my anticipation of Brad’s return, I’m certain, contributes to the undeniable fact that his work in Contract 10 turns me on unbelievably hard, even harder than several other matches released in September that would, in any other month, have been shoo-ins for victory.  So all hail the return of the living legend, and let me be first in line to offer to follow in The Boss’ footsteps and plant my lips on Brad’s beautiful ass. Because Brad Rochelle is neverland’s reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month!

Brad13
Brad’s beginning: Catalog 18!

The Second Coming!

Or is that the third coming!? Whatever the fuck you want to call it, the earth just shook a little underneath my feet, because I just landed on the BG East website and saw the huge reveal celebrating BGE’s release of their 100th catalog: Brad Rochelle is back!

brad
Tease no more, Brad Rochelle is back!

I’d heard told this prophecy over 2 years ago when I made my humble pilgrimage to BG East Headquarters. Kid Leopard and several of the boys assured me that Brad was returning to the homoerotic wrestling universe and that all hell was breaking loose in response. I even was granted some epic preview pics from, what turns out to be, The Contract 10: The Reckoning, that I dutifully shared with the saints and apostles of homoerotic wrestling here at neverland. And still, over the past 2 years, I’ve been questioned, interrogated even, as to the veracity of my gospel account that Brad would one day return. Doubters and nay-sayers questioned my integrity. My devout belief in the promise handed down to me at times left me a little cold and lonely, as other homoerotic wrestling fans rolled their eyes and encouraged me to abandon all hope. It’s not really going to happen. They’re just stringing us Brad-fans along. You’ve been duped.

brad3
Brad double-troubled.

Well, suck it you apostates! Brad Rochelle is back in Contract 10, appearing in the ring, on the mats, in the back offices, in the hallways… fuck, the guy apparently takes the action into the bathrooms of the BG East compound!  First up, it appears that Brad’s trip to hell includes facing two dangerous hunks at once in the BGE ring: Attila Dynasty and Chace LaChance. This isn’t the first 2-on-1 Brad’s faced down, and he’s been precisely the hunk with the skills and strength to come out on top in the past. But does he take two of the finest young asses in the BG East stable today?

brad4
Brad forced to flex!!?

When I posted the potentially apocryphal photos I’d been handed from on high a couple of years ago, I misidentified Brad’s mat opponent as a shaggy-headed Denny Cartier. I was corrected, and Contract 10 provides abundant proof that Brad gets put through the ringer by none other than Naked Kombat alum, hunky stud Jeremy Tyler. The match description on the website makes it seem pretty clear that gorgeous Jeremy absolutely crushes Brad in his second-coming tracks, and the pics make me lose my shit all over again with what appears to be a forced-to-flex scenario with Brad’s head hanging down on hits chest in defeat, his arms outstretched like a homoerotic wrestling Jesus on the cross.

brad2
The Boss takes matters into his own hands.

Holy shit, match 3 looks insane. Brad opponent? The Boss himself, Kid Leopard. Are you kidding me!?! The prototypical sadist heel extraordinaire and the hunky babyface who battled way, way back from jobberhood to give his turn on the heel wheel himself!? The Boss’ return to full-on ring action would be worthy of trumpet fanfare itself, but his return to take matters (i.e., Brad’s balls) into his own hands is nothing short of seismic! I can’t make heads or tails of what happens, because the website is milking the suspense with further sadistic mastery (like what Brad fan needed more coaxing to put in their order for this one!?). But what I see in the previews is intensely exciting, including Brad’s mouthwatering ass exposed, slapped, and, what’s this, kissed!?! There have not been many who managed to take Brad by his bull balls, but holy shit, it certainly looks like The Boss can add that to his trophy case, as well. Again I say, this looks like absolute insanity in worthy proportion to the epic historical moments that Contract 10 documents!

brad5
Still bringing fans to their knees!

Finally, to those particular doubting Thomases who not only questioned my integrity in passing along the promise of Brad’s second-coming, but argued that Brad was probably bloated and completely out of shape at this point, again I just have to say: suck it! Fuck me, please! Brad does to me in these previews exactly what he’s done to me every moment of his career that I’ve enjoyed over and over again. He’s hot, hard, and handsome as ever, aged beautifully, and lickable from head to toe. There are lots of reasons there’s long been a feverish cadre of Brad-fanatics obsessively worshipping on their knees for every single minute of every match of his career.  Just one of the reasons is that he was, and remains, a gorgeous hunk of man!  Welcome back, Brad. Some of us have been faithfully waiting for you!

Freshly Inked

I think it’s been a while since I mused over my infatuation with tattooed wrestlers.  It’s true that my own ink likely biases me toward my appreciation of illustrated hunks, but then again, my appreciation of illustrated hunks definitely influenced my own body art choices.  Not everyone looks good inked.  Definitely not all ink looks good, as far as I’m concerned.  But there are many tattooed wrestlers who instantly own my allegiance when the step onto the mat or into the ring, in large part because they’ve got incredibly sexy ink that I crave to see wrapped up all over their suffering opponent.
Here’s some of my choice pics from the recent crops of new release homoerotic wrestling products, featuring ink that grabs my attention and makes me pull for one hardbodied hottie over the other based in large part on the artistry they embody even before they sculpt their bodies into that most provocative aesthetic form: homoerotic wrestling.
Illustrated Eli: BG East’s Mat Hunks 9
Okay, I love me some Cameron Matthews.  His attitude, his wit, his relatively recently redefined incredibly conditioned physique, that ASS(!!!)… it’s hard not to find myself wanting to identify with the babyface brawler turned muscle daddy for a heel bid.  But fuck!  Eli Black works his magic in my shorts once again in Mat Hunks 9, solidly holding my gaze and making me acknowledge he’s my boy in this match, and I have to think it’s his ever growing collection of tattoos. 
Kevin Crowes’ crows: Can-Am’s Pro Sex Fight 4
A relatively recent release in what I think is Can-Am’s best genre contribution to homoerotic wrestling pits epically long-time favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy of mine, Rusty Stevens, against almost painfully beautiful pretty boy, Kevin Crowes in Pro Sex Fight 4.  I have a documented record years-long that proves that there’s almost nobody to compete with Rusty Stevens in delighting, entrancing and infatuating me, starting well before he lays a finger on an opponent.  And Rusty’s got some sweet ink, albeit he could use some touch ups, if you ask me.  But Kevin Crowes’ combination of imminently fuckable classically proportioned beauty along with his bold, massive, gorgeous ink does what perhaps only one man before has been able to do: hold my attention and settle my ass securely and convincingly in the opposite corner from Rusty Stevens.
Paul Hudson’s tatted bicep makes Lon Dumont just a little less pretty.

Lon Dumont’s skin is smooth, clear and entirely absent of foreign pigment.  It’s not the art tatted onto Lon’s body that has propelled him into the top echelons of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers, but the incredible beauty of his competition physique paired with a smart, vicious persona and high quality pro wrestling execution.  What could make me root against my reigning favorite!?  I think it’s two things, really.  One, there’s something deeply stirring watching a whittled to an anatomy chart physique star go slack over and over in a knock outs match, and (more to the point of this post), his opponent Paul Hudson surprises me by smacking me firmly into the Hudson camp with his bulging trunks and upper arm ink.  Lon’s face slack and smashed into the black band inked across Paul’s right bicep is simply gorgeous.

Illustrated MJ rides Attila’s ass

The 3rd match in Mat Hunks 9 catches me by surprise by how compelled I am by it.  Attila Dynasty (and in particular, his ass) has long been an infatuation of mine.  But MJ Vergara is visually astonishing the moment he walks into the BG East mat room and shoves Attila stumbling ahead of him.  The mohawked muscle man is amazingly built, veins popping, muscles bulging, 25 inch waist (my guess, I haven’t measure him myself… but I’d be very happy to).  His bold, beautiful tattoo stretched across the whole of his left pec and massive deltoid and trapezius muscles is simply beautiful! Attila is such a smart ass, such a cocky, swaggering, proven-dangerous son of a bitch, of course, and there are plenty of matches in which that character is exactly the one I can’t wait to watch work up a head of sadistic steam all over his crushed opponent’s body.  Not this time, however.  Fuck, I’m all on board with compact muscle stud MJ going ape shit all over Attila’s fine, fine ass, and I’m thinking that he’s got me sucked in to identifying with his plans for bully revenge thanks in large part to that gorgeous ink that absolutely swallows up Attila whole.

Beauty and power you just have to touch.

Chace LaChance and Braden Charron in BG East’s Summer Sizzler’s bonus are both in the best shape I’ve ever seen either of them, and sporting more ink than I think we’ve ever seen on either phenomenal muscle men.  All of that inked muscle wrapped around each other, squeezing, stretching, and flexing is breathtaking.  Who to root for when both stunning physique stars are in the best condition and most extensive ink ever?  It’s a toss up for me, but I’m not complaining.  There’s no way this can miss!

 Big Sexy’s big, sexy ink on display.

Less surprising is Thunder’s Arena’s Big Sexy owning my lustful allegiance in Battle Space 45.  If there’s a “total package” in homoerotic wrestling these days (by the way I estimate packages, at least), Big Sexy probably has the best claim.  He’s smart and funny, highly skilled on the mats, handsome as hell, beautifully built, one of the most fuckable asses on the planet, and all of that beautiful artwork!  Both an artist and a work of art, I’m entirely a Big Sexy fanatic when he steps onto the mats with the entirely tattooless muscles of a muscle star, Muscles.

Oiled ink on ridiculously hot Landon Conrad.
Naked Kombat’s newest release makes me gasp.  Even if Landon Conrad didn’t have a few, modest tats  on that insanely hot muscle bod, he’d definitely be my man in his match against amazingly hot, yet somehow unavoidably diminished in comparison, Alex Law.  However, ridiculously handsome muscle hunk Landon does, indeed, have tats that drive home the point that this porn gladiator is suddenly my #1 Naked Kombat kombatant in any match for the foreseeable future.
Specimen illustrates total domination.

Thunder’s Arena has long been the place for the battles of the big men, and Battle Space 46 is a prime example.  Looking for everything like Superman’s alternate universe arch enemy Bizzaro, bad boy and mighty meat head Vinny was never going to be my man after the tiff he dusted up around his “gay taunt” earlier in his Thunder’s career.  But then again, with beautiful, branded beef like Specimen is serving up, it wasn’t like Vinny had a chance anyway.  Beat his ass, make him cry, and give him an up-close examination of every tat, Specimen!

My final tat shout out is for another a BG East newcomer, bad ass Vic Madone.  Vic is a perfect example of the difference between still frame homoerotic wrestling images and homoerotic wrestling in action.  In still frame, this gorgeous stud is GORGEOUS!  I mean, crystal blue eyes to swim in.  A face  that should be hocking ultra-expensive men’s cologne. A lickable body that appears to be the perfect intersection of form and function.  Even with all of those very, very nice tats, I could picture still-frame Vic easily donning a tuxedo and walking a red carpet (and then climbing into a wrestling ring for a rip-n-strip extravaganza).  But when I watched his debut match on Mat Hunks 9, there was nothing “pretty” about Vic.  He mumbles non-stop, and I’d pay money for a translator, because I’m sure that incessant trash talk is sexy as shit.  But Vic is an object of my lust like Michael Imperioli is in the Sopranos.  He’s rough, mean as hell, machismo oozing out of his pours, and absolutely BRUTAL!  Personally, I’m likely to root for anyone going up against Ray Naylor simply because I’m dying to see someone seriously ride that epic ass of his.  But Vic is honestly phenomenal in this match, slowly warming me up from an initial tingling in my crotch to a full-on raging fever over the course of the first 5 minutes.  I pity anyone who faces this hot, inked hunk, but I fully expect that if anyone does, you can count on me standing right behind Vic in anticipation of him doing serious damage.

So ink seems to be adding up to my allegiance lately.  Of course, just because I’m rooting for one wrestler to win doesn’t mean I don’t thoroughly enjoy being surprised, having my boy bested, watching the power I’m invested and identified with tamed and conquered.  But tattooed muscles wrapping up and locking down an outmatched opponent is a particular brand of hot for me.