Freshly Inked

I think it’s been a while since I mused over my infatuation with tattooed wrestlers.  It’s true that my own ink likely biases me toward my appreciation of illustrated hunks, but then again, my appreciation of illustrated hunks definitely influenced my own body art choices.  Not everyone looks good inked.  Definitely not all ink looks good, as far as I’m concerned.  But there are many tattooed wrestlers who instantly own my allegiance when the step onto the mat or into the ring, in large part because they’ve got incredibly sexy ink that I crave to see wrapped up all over their suffering opponent.
Here’s some of my choice pics from the recent crops of new release homoerotic wrestling products, featuring ink that grabs my attention and makes me pull for one hardbodied hottie over the other based in large part on the artistry they embody even before they sculpt their bodies into that most provocative aesthetic form: homoerotic wrestling.
Illustrated Eli: BG East’s Mat Hunks 9
Okay, I love me some Cameron Matthews.  His attitude, his wit, his relatively recently redefined incredibly conditioned physique, that ASS(!!!)… it’s hard not to find myself wanting to identify with the babyface brawler turned muscle daddy for a heel bid.  But fuck!  Eli Black works his magic in my shorts once again in Mat Hunks 9, solidly holding my gaze and making me acknowledge he’s my boy in this match, and I have to think it’s his ever growing collection of tattoos. 
Kevin Crowes’ crows: Can-Am’s Pro Sex Fight 4
A relatively recent release in what I think is Can-Am’s best genre contribution to homoerotic wrestling pits epically long-time favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy of mine, Rusty Stevens, against almost painfully beautiful pretty boy, Kevin Crowes in Pro Sex Fight 4.  I have a documented record years-long that proves that there’s almost nobody to compete with Rusty Stevens in delighting, entrancing and infatuating me, starting well before he lays a finger on an opponent.  And Rusty’s got some sweet ink, albeit he could use some touch ups, if you ask me.  But Kevin Crowes’ combination of imminently fuckable classically proportioned beauty along with his bold, massive, gorgeous ink does what perhaps only one man before has been able to do: hold my attention and settle my ass securely and convincingly in the opposite corner from Rusty Stevens.
Paul Hudson’s tatted bicep makes Lon Dumont just a little less pretty.

Lon Dumont’s skin is smooth, clear and entirely absent of foreign pigment.  It’s not the art tatted onto Lon’s body that has propelled him into the top echelons of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers, but the incredible beauty of his competition physique paired with a smart, vicious persona and high quality pro wrestling execution.  What could make me root against my reigning favorite!?  I think it’s two things, really.  One, there’s something deeply stirring watching a whittled to an anatomy chart physique star go slack over and over in a knock outs match, and (more to the point of this post), his opponent Paul Hudson surprises me by smacking me firmly into the Hudson camp with his bulging trunks and upper arm ink.  Lon’s face slack and smashed into the black band inked across Paul’s right bicep is simply gorgeous.

Illustrated MJ rides Attila’s ass

The 3rd match in Mat Hunks 9 catches me by surprise by how compelled I am by it.  Attila Dynasty (and in particular, his ass) has long been an infatuation of mine.  But MJ Vergara is visually astonishing the moment he walks into the BG East mat room and shoves Attila stumbling ahead of him.  The mohawked muscle man is amazingly built, veins popping, muscles bulging, 25 inch waist (my guess, I haven’t measure him myself… but I’d be very happy to).  His bold, beautiful tattoo stretched across the whole of his left pec and massive deltoid and trapezius muscles is simply beautiful! Attila is such a smart ass, such a cocky, swaggering, proven-dangerous son of a bitch, of course, and there are plenty of matches in which that character is exactly the one I can’t wait to watch work up a head of sadistic steam all over his crushed opponent’s body.  Not this time, however.  Fuck, I’m all on board with compact muscle stud MJ going ape shit all over Attila’s fine, fine ass, and I’m thinking that he’s got me sucked in to identifying with his plans for bully revenge thanks in large part to that gorgeous ink that absolutely swallows up Attila whole.

Beauty and power you just have to touch.

Chace LaChance and Braden Charron in BG East’s Summer Sizzler’s bonus are both in the best shape I’ve ever seen either of them, and sporting more ink than I think we’ve ever seen on either phenomenal muscle men.  All of that inked muscle wrapped around each other, squeezing, stretching, and flexing is breathtaking.  Who to root for when both stunning physique stars are in the best condition and most extensive ink ever?  It’s a toss up for me, but I’m not complaining.  There’s no way this can miss!

 Big Sexy’s big, sexy ink on display.

Less surprising is Thunder’s Arena’s Big Sexy owning my lustful allegiance in Battle Space 45.  If there’s a “total package” in homoerotic wrestling these days (by the way I estimate packages, at least), Big Sexy probably has the best claim.  He’s smart and funny, highly skilled on the mats, handsome as hell, beautifully built, one of the most fuckable asses on the planet, and all of that beautiful artwork!  Both an artist and a work of art, I’m entirely a Big Sexy fanatic when he steps onto the mats with the entirely tattooless muscles of a muscle star, Muscles.

Oiled ink on ridiculously hot Landon Conrad.
Naked Kombat’s newest release makes me gasp.  Even if Landon Conrad didn’t have a few, modest tats  on that insanely hot muscle bod, he’d definitely be my man in his match against amazingly hot, yet somehow unavoidably diminished in comparison, Alex Law.  However, ridiculously handsome muscle hunk Landon does, indeed, have tats that drive home the point that this porn gladiator is suddenly my #1 Naked Kombat kombatant in any match for the foreseeable future.
Specimen illustrates total domination.

Thunder’s Arena has long been the place for the battles of the big men, and Battle Space 46 is a prime example.  Looking for everything like Superman’s alternate universe arch enemy Bizzaro, bad boy and mighty meat head Vinny was never going to be my man after the tiff he dusted up around his “gay taunt” earlier in his Thunder’s career.  But then again, with beautiful, branded beef like Specimen is serving up, it wasn’t like Vinny had a chance anyway.  Beat his ass, make him cry, and give him an up-close examination of every tat, Specimen!

My final tat shout out is for another a BG East newcomer, bad ass Vic Madone.  Vic is a perfect example of the difference between still frame homoerotic wrestling images and homoerotic wrestling in action.  In still frame, this gorgeous stud is GORGEOUS!  I mean, crystal blue eyes to swim in.  A face  that should be hocking ultra-expensive men’s cologne. A lickable body that appears to be the perfect intersection of form and function.  Even with all of those very, very nice tats, I could picture still-frame Vic easily donning a tuxedo and walking a red carpet (and then climbing into a wrestling ring for a rip-n-strip extravaganza).  But when I watched his debut match on Mat Hunks 9, there was nothing “pretty” about Vic.  He mumbles non-stop, and I’d pay money for a translator, because I’m sure that incessant trash talk is sexy as shit.  But Vic is an object of my lust like Michael Imperioli is in the Sopranos.  He’s rough, mean as hell, machismo oozing out of his pours, and absolutely BRUTAL!  Personally, I’m likely to root for anyone going up against Ray Naylor simply because I’m dying to see someone seriously ride that epic ass of his.  But Vic is honestly phenomenal in this match, slowly warming me up from an initial tingling in my crotch to a full-on raging fever over the course of the first 5 minutes.  I pity anyone who faces this hot, inked hunk, but I fully expect that if anyone does, you can count on me standing right behind Vic in anticipation of him doing serious damage.

So ink seems to be adding up to my allegiance lately.  Of course, just because I’m rooting for one wrestler to win doesn’t mean I don’t thoroughly enjoy being surprised, having my boy bested, watching the power I’m invested and identified with tamed and conquered.  But tattooed muscles wrapping up and locking down an outmatched opponent is a particular brand of hot for me.

Make Me Feel It!

Another fine year has passed for me, and a new one is beginning today.  Birthday’s rock.  Love them, and not just because of the corporal punishment aspect of getting a swat on the ass for each year.  I’m treating myself to a day of doing absolutely nothing, so I’ll make this post brief.  Thanks for the well-wishes and offers to slap down a spank or two (or 42) or even the occasional offer of some birthday headscissors or an OTK backbreaker.  You all are damn sweet, and I wouldn’t trade you for anything… except possibly one of these guys below wailing away at my ass.
My pick last year for Spanker-in-Chief, Kid Karisma, gets his award winning ass tanned by Mike Martin in Sunshine Shooters 5
Missing my wrestling pornboys lately, so I’m back to enjoy watching swoonworthy Vance “The Vice’ Crawford slap down the spoils of victory on a bent-over Cameron Kincade.
Classic tormentor Dino Phillips relishes the sweaty slap of his hand on Peter Bishop’s trapped ass in X-Fights 11

Jeremy Stevens sets up shop all over Jessie Coulter’s muscle ass in Naked Kombat’s recent Muscle Match.

Possibly the sexiest pairing of asses includes Big Sexy smiling down at Cameron Mathews’ angry red ass as he wails away in Rough and Ready 21.

Beating the Odds

There are varying opinions about mismatched opponents in homoerotic wrestling.  I get the argument that the intoxicating heat of the competitive premise can suffer when there is, or appears to be, little chance of an outmatched wrestler holding his own, much less taking possession of his opponent’s.  Not infrequently, however, I have a sweet tooth for an apparent mismatch, for the tale of the tape that suggests there is no spread big enough to make this worth a bookie’s time.  Just that first glimpse of some plucky hunk staring down (more often up) extremely long odds can grab my attention with both hands.
Brian Baker stares down his nose at goldenboy Austin Cooper 

The long-odds wrestling match jumped front and center in my attention recently when I clicked through to the preview of my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month, 5’9″, 170 pound Austin Cooper, trying not to have to strain his neck to look up at the stunningly handsome face of his young rookie opponent, Brian Baker (different one), who towers over him at 6’4″ at weighing in at an athletically lean 205 pounds.  I’m downloading this promise at this very moment, inspired largely by the promise of seeing what Coop can do with the rook’s seriously lovely ass and long, tattooed torso.  The online match description telegraphs (or, rather, painstakingly details) that not only does Coop tame the towering stud, but he humiliates Brian in a two-fall squash despite the 7 inches of height and 35 pounds of weight advantage the rookie comes in with.  Please tell me Coop draws out the schooling just as long as his lovely pupil’s body is!

Drake Wild has his hands full taming massive muscle beast Tyler St. James

In the way the universe does sometimes, I was fresh off of getting all breathless over Coop and Brian Baker when I stumbled across more tantalizing preview pics of Can-Am’s first catch-weight version of a Pro Sex Fight.  Men.com reports that the sweet, hot punk Drake Wild is 5’5″ and 140 pounds, which explains why he looks absolutely dwarfed by Tyler St. James, who Men.com reports is 6’2″ and 240 pounds of insanely thick muscle.  That’s 7 inches and, I kid you not, a reported 100 pound difference, which is instantly translated into a sweaty brow and gasps of lust to see controlling the big man handily.   Fuck, that’s hot!

Gorgeous giant Paladin makes even notorious heel Jonny’s eyes grow wide.

Apparently there’s something in the water these days, because BG East’s latest catalog also boasts one of those inspiring apparent mismatches with the 5’5″ and 160 pound version of Jonny Firestorm, staring up at the chart topping beauty of 6’6″ and 210 pound Paladin in the 3 Stages of Jonny.  The online match description explains that Jonny’s been sent on a mission to cut the 6 and half foot giant down to size, but even Jonny and those magical forearms can’t prevent the man 50 pounds and over a foot taller from taking the first fall.  It’s never a good idea to count out Jonny, or his forearms, prematurely, and yet again another “little guy” beats the odds, and his massive opponent, to a pulp.

Every ounce of Cybertron’s 65 pound weight advantage threatens to break babyface Ronny Pearl in half

And then there’s the case of 5’8″, 185 pound Ronny Pearl, who I mentioned so adoringly yesterday, encountering 6’2″ and 250 pound wrecking ball Cybertron in Ringwars 21.  Compared to the previous 3 mismatches, Ronny’s “only” staring down a half a foot height difference (and, yeah, a 65 pound weight disadvantage).  Nevertheless, Cybertron demonstrates what “odds” are all about, capitalizing on every inch and ounce of superiority to crush the flowing-haired rookie with more brutality than I’ve seen in a match in a long time!

Big Sexy isn’t about to let even two opponent’s kick his fine, fine, FINE ass!

And if we’re counting numbers and assessing odds, Thunders Arena has posted a couple of new matches recently the devolve into 2-on-1 double-teams.  In Rough and Ready 33, peroxide punk Izzy was due to star in one of those totally outmatched features, though how much smaller he is than 6′, 205 pound Big Sexy is a mystery because he’s not listed yet in their roster (which seems ominous for his future).  Regardless, 5’8″, 156 pound Python apparently steps in to help little Izzy out, wrapping those superman arms around Big Sexy’s throat and turning the tide.  However, this is Big Sexy we’re talking about.  Worse for the double-team, it’s Big Sexy bigger, sweatier, and more beautiful than ever, demonstrating that it’ll take a lot more than 2-on-1 for the likes of these boys to ever best the likes of Big Sexy.

Butt-to-butt-to-butt, Tak and Coop work over Braden Charron’s luscious muscles.

On the flip side, you’ve got twink of my dreams, Tak, getting more than he bargained for when he tries to work his twink-dominator magic on the bulging muscles of body beautiful Braden Charron in Rough and Ready 34.  Braden is reportedly only 5’8″ and 155 pounds (really!? with that ass and those pecs, that astonishes me), whereas Tak is 5″10 and about the same weight, but even at the outset this looks like a mismatch for lean fratboy Tak.  When things go decidedly not his way, fellow goldenboy Frey (aka, homoerotic wrestler of the month Austin Cooper) steps in to go butt-to-butt with his buddy Tak in delivering a lick-lippingly sexy double-team dose of humiliation on the bubble-butted beauty Braden.  Braden stared down the odds stacked against him (and on top of him, and all around him) and learned the hard way that they’re “odds” for  a reason.

Coop’s got the towering rookie right where he wants him.

Mismatches, long odds, David and Goliath… sometimes the little guys surprise us.  Sometimes they don’t, and yet still delight us.  However the contrast, the conventional wisdom turned on its head, is very frequently a provocative element in homoerotic wrestling that sorts me out just right.

Homoerotic Wrestling Fiction

I’ve been catching up on a backlog of scorching hot homoerotic wrestling fiction submitted by a couple of excellent authors for the Sidelineland group.  I’ve been sitting on them a while, unfortunately, due to my diverted attention, but I’ve had time to get a few contributions posted in the past few days, and what a pleasure!

The stars of The Cave 9: Working it Out
Alex has two new chapters up in The Cave series.  If you haven’t read any of The Cave’s 9 chapters, smack yourself in the head and get caught up, because these most recent two matches are barnburners.  The many fans of The Cave know full well, and appreciate, the compelling drama charting the unraveling of the long-time best friendship between Cody and Ryan.  Once invincible sex wrestling stud, Cody, is The Bat to Ryan’s Bane, and big Ryan’s coconspirator, Pete, is more than ready to take Cody’s place as Ryan’s BFF (and sex puppy, and secretary, and life coach, and…).  The Cave 8: Working It Out documents the moment that the supervillainy honeymoon comes to a screeching halt, and Ryan and Pete turn heavyweight pent-up tension into a vicious, ass pounding mat match.

Cody is gorgeously stuck between a rock (Ryan) and a hard place (Ben) in The Cave 9: Three’s Company
Then in Chapter 9: Three’s Company, Alex has pulled together so many strings from the entire Cave series, but particularly chapters 7 and 8, for the sexiest three-way ring match I’ve ever read!  The slow burning grudge and long road to atonement between Cody and Ryan comes to a head with the addition of the incredibly hot catalyst of Cody’s (chapter 7) wrestling conquest/fuck buddy Ben more than holding his own, and indeed holding, squeezing and clawing his way into being an integral component of the high impact, fuck stakes reckoning of the former BFFs.

Big Sexy as Jobberinnyc’s “The Bartender”
The third new story I’ve posted to Sidelineland in the past few days is the sophomore contribution of Jobberinnyc, who’s given us a fantastic erotic wrestling fantasy between the wrestling kinked, 40 year old narrator and an unexpected, full contact, psychologically seductive home invasion of his 20-something hardbodied bartender.  Jobberinnyc told me that the title character was inspired my interview with my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, Kid Karisma, and the physical template of aptly named Big Sexy.  Now that’s a mind blowing combination!  And Jobberinnyc absolutely delivers what could easily be considered the manifesto for homoerotic wrestling jobbers everywhere.
The stars of the Producer’s Ring office beatdown Secretarial Pool 8, Nick Youngquest and Andrew Stetson

And one last bonus for you today comes from the pages of my homoerotic wrestling fiction collaborations.  A fan has been lobbying me for a while now to resurrect the career of deposed and humiliated former executive assistant and power hitter in the corporate world of my post-apocalyptic homoerotic wrestling universe, Andrew Stetson.  Andrew was a star in action and behind the scenes of several matches from the Producer’s Ring, and as added incentive to get me back to writing in the Producer’s Ring, and to get my fantasies back on the magic that Canadian model Andrew weaves in my imagination, a generous fan commissioned this graphic from one of Andrew’s most brutal matches.

Artist Guanino’s depiction of Nick Youngquest teaching Andrew Stetson a lesson he’ll never forget
From The Secretarial Pool 8, this is also one of my favorite out-of-the-ring images as well, in which Aussie sexbomb and rugby muscleboy Nick Youngquest locks the door of Andrew’s office to rip ‘n’ strip the upper management hottie and teach him a lesson in failing to exploit Nick’s talents to their fullest.  This match was a collaboration with another collaborator, Swito (still out there, Swito?  Haven’t heard from you in a while), who joined me in letting our imaginations run wild with picturing how homoerotic two hardbodied hunks can get when they’re locked up tight in a corporate office.  I particularly enjoy the creative use of Andrew’s tie, the last remaining item of clothing left to him, by the innovative and sadistic Aussie.  Extremely fine artist Guianino (who you MUST check out his blog and collection of homoerotic art!!!) has captured this moment from the story beautifully!

Indeed, I’m inspired!  I’ve been getting words on the page recently with a couple of Sidelineland projects and a couple of Producer’s Ring matches as well (sign up for access to the full archives if you haven’t already, and send me your works of original fiction to share, too!).  It’s good to be writing again, and it’s even better to enjoy the collective efforts of so many creative artists sharing the joy of homoerotic wrestling.

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month6’6

I wrenched my back a few days ago and have been in constant pain ever since.  I suspect it was a combination of that last spill off of Ben Godfre’s skateboard and my fireman’s carry of the pretty boy up the stairs to tie him to the bed.  I’ve had a ton of things to write about, but I’ve just felt too miserable to bother.  Clearly, I’m not as young and resilient as I used to be/think I am.  The pain is subsiding as I promise myself to get back to my yoga routine once I’m entirely healed, so I’m back to finally get down to business long overdue: naming the first homoerotic wrestler of the month for 2013.  The winner of the title is, of course, the wrestler who appeared in a December release who turned me on more than any other.  Nominees this month are relatively sparse.  No new catalog from BG East.  Rock Hard Wrestling posted two hot matches: Ethan Andrews putting a Bodybuilder Beatdown on luscious muscleboy Brodie Fisher, and Austin Cooper tying lovely muscle punk Josh Steel up in knots as Coop’s Conquest.  I’m still not tracking exactly when Thunder’s Arena releases their matches (if for no one’s sake but mine, I wish they put out release dates!).  However, I believe Big Sexy and Angelo’s match in No Holds Barred 26 was a December release, as was (I think) Bodybuilder Battle 55 with huge Johnny Bravo and mouthwatering Python as well as Mat Wars 33 with Big Sexy putting Python on gorgeous display.  And if they were December releases, then surely No Holds Barred 27 with Dominic and Angelo, Bodybuilder Battle 56 with Johnny back to devour Tak, and Mat Wars 34 with ripped Braden taking on equally ripped Brad Barnes are as well.  Muscle Domination Wrestling, the new kids on the block, posted Morgan Cruise (with facial hair) reworking over big farmboy Tony Law in Sweaty Stud Contortion, and a members-only match with Morgan reasserting his corporal ownership of Damien Rush’s balls in Sexual Domination.  Steel Muscle God and his Britboy wrestling hookup, Connor, qualified with a novelty beatdown on a frighteningly skinny kid who goes by “Slim Studman.”

Top-notch wrestling that tweaks my personal kink was not well represented in the depth of this field in December.  However, there were a couple matches that stood out for me as particularly eye catching, and one wrestler in particular that sold me more satisfyingly than any other this time around.  Better late than never, my new reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month is…

6′, 205 lbs: aptly named Big Sexy

…Thunder’s Arena’s Big Sexy.
I had to check 3 times to convince myself that this is the first HWOTM title for Big Sexy, because somehow that just doesn’t seem possible.  He lives up to his name in such a literal way!  How he’s failed to grab hold of the title with both hands before now is a mystery.

In this particularly attention grabbing case, his opponent is a guilty pleasure of mine. Python is such a mouthwatering muscle stud!  Those insane biceps are nothing short of phenomenal, but I have to say it’s Python’s massive muscle glutes that I’m a little obsessed with.  This kid desperately needs to loosen up, but if this were an award for eye candy of the month, this entire post could easily be about bicep boy.  As it is, though, the title is homoerotic wrestler of the month, and in that foot race, gorgeous Big Sexy leaves his “little” opponent in the dust.  But the journey is delightful to watch!

That…. ASS!
The opening camera angle is of Big Sexy, from behind, staring out the window waiting impatiently for the eye candy to arrive.  This is a stroke of directing genius, my friends, because as much as I’d like to sink my fingertips into Python’s luscious ass, I’d like to fall on my knees and worship the astonishingly sexy ass of Big Sexy.  His glutes make me gasp every time I see them.  It’s a sculpted ass of pure muscle.  My guess is that Big Sexy’s genetics, unlike Python’s, don’t afford him a platinum ass by default.  Without having pumped out endless squats, I would guess that Big Sexy’s booty would be flat as a board.  Thankfully, Big Sexy has, obviously, pumped out those endless squats, building muscle fiber by muscle fiber a powerhouse ass to make me desperate to grab him by the hips and plow that moneymaker for a decade.
Personally, I’d settle for googling all over how awesome Big Sexy is.

Python tries to smack talk way, way, way out of his league when he criticizes Big Sexy’s trunks (“Am I wrestling a watermelon!?”) and his body (“Big Sexy?  Little!”).  “I’m also six feet tall,” Big Sexy snaps back.  “What are you?  5’1?… You’re like a midget, man!”  They do some side by side comparisons of their guns, along with some appraising squeezes.  Big Sexy suddenly turns to the camera and pleads, “What are you all doing to me!? I wanted someone to wrestle, not… google all over how awesome I am!  Look at this!  This is Big Sexy!  I’m here… all day.”

“You’d better not be flexing!”

About a third of a second after the wrestling starts, Big Sexy is mounted across Python’s muscled back, slapping him in the back of the head humiliatingly.  In classic Big Sexy fashion, for every one part physical domination, he mixes in a heaping helping of two parts verbal domination.  “I wonder how much your bicep would take before I break it?” he murmurs, locking Python’s veiny python outstretched vulnerably.  Python huffs and puffs like a steam engine, trying to power his way to freedom, while calm, cool, collected mat veteran Big Sexy exerts absolutely no more effort than absolutely necessary to keep the muscle kid compromised.

Big Sexy is a fan pleaser, first and foremost.

With Python’s face smashed into the mat and Big Sexy controlling him handily with a simple half nelson, Big Sexy slides toward the camera and smiles at his fans. “You see, guys,” he says, pointing at his beautiful torso, “I work on these abs for you.  It doesn’t matter what he’s doing over there,” he dismisses the steam engine muscle punk huffing away in a vain attempt at escape.  “Don’t even look over there.  This is it,” he crunches his abs and flexes his left bicep. “This is perfection.”

Big Sexy leaves his muscle punk opponent nowhere to go but down.

There’s a truly gorgeous moment early on when Python launches an offensive, locking up Big Sexy’s left leg and neck in a muscle-encased small package.  With stunning control, Big Sexy rolls the kid over, breaks free his leg, an reverses, not only wrapping Python up in a tit-for-tat musclelocked small package, but then standing up and parading him around upside down and folded in half.  Holy hell, that’s both impressive and incredibly hot!

“Kiss it.  Kiss it!”

As with most Thunder’s matches, there’s a heavy hit of screwing around, friendly bullying in this match.  For example, channeling my older brother from my early childhood, Big Sexy nearly rips Python’s left leg out of his pelvis in a vicious small package, and then forces Python to kiss his own knee… just because he can.  “See, just do what I want!” Big Sexy explains.  “Things’ll go better for you.”

Tragically, I can’t find this perfect move in the video!

This is technically not a squash, I suppose.  At least, Python has some offense and some superhuman strength to hoist his much larger opponent over his shoulders.  There’s a still from Thunder’s Arena of a shot of the Sexy One suffering just a bit in the most appropriate hold ever placed on Big Sexy: a reverse bearhug (though I swear I can’t find this hold in the match itself).  A little more grinding of his crotch into that infinitely fuckable ass and this could easily morph from frat house hijinks into full on, explicitly homoerotic fare.   In a sweet moment of promise for Python, he force feeds Big Sexy a deviled egg as he has the Sexy One’s trapped solidly in a side headlock.

“Not so tough down there, huh, are you?”

But honestly, Python comes across little more than a gym bunny learning that eye candy is not the same as wrestling dominance.  Big Sexy stretches his boy’s muscled body out gorgeously, both toying with the kid and demonstrating his commitment to his fans by showing off his captured prey.  At will, he rolls Python’s shoulders flat on the mat. “Not so tough down there, huh, are you?” he mutters effortlessly as the muscle kid continues to huff and puff in pain.

“Decent,” Big Sexy concedes.

Demonstrating his complete control of the moment, he abruptly calls off the action and explains that he needs to chat with his fans.  With dialogue successful in both welcoming muscle worship and withering the ego of his opponent, Big Sexy flexes his sweat soaked body as he towers over the camera.  “Go ahead, you can show what you think you have.  They might want to see something like that,” Big Sexy sounds doubtful as Python pumps his mountainous right bicep at the camera.  “Everyone’s got a market.  Twinks sell pretty well, you’re doing okay.”  Python, of course, is no twink.  He has more muscle mass in one tricep than a bona fide twink has in his entire body.  But then again, Big Sexy probably has more muscle mass in one quad than Python has in both his legs.  Big Sexy is not easily impressed.  “Decent, I’ll give you that,” he mutters, his praise more damning than outright contempt.

Crushing his opponent alive, Big Sexy shows off that gorgeous ass and gives his fans a wink.

He is unquestionably big and sexy.  His mat wrestling is stunning, even when he’s going easy on a flat footed rook.  He sweats with the best of them.  His trash talking is top tier.  And most enjoyably of all for me, particularly in this match, Big Sexy knows, appreciates, and is out to please his fans, with more than a nod and wink, showing off his own fantasy muscle body as well as displaying his muscle punk opponent’s eye candy deliciously.  I’m sure it’s long overdue, but then again, it’s about time he shaved off that nasty ass beard, finally pulling it together for a performance that solidly convinces me that there’s just no other choice to be made.  Big Sexy is my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month.

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month: Big Sexy

Seeing the Lights on the Ceiling

I resist the strong temptation to select homoerotic wrestlers of the month as a lifetime achievement award.  Some work horses in the business have been consistently wrestling high quality matches for the long haul, but for my of-the-month title I try to consider only the matches released within the past month.  Cameron Mathews (listed also as Cameron “Matthews”) has been starring in inspired homoerotic wrestling matches for over 7 years since he debuted with BG East, including 25 matches in the ring, on the mats, in the gazebo, and in two of his own Wrestler Spotlight compilations. I’m not sure exactly when he started wrestling with Thunder’s Arena, but he’s appeared in an astonishing 25 matches for them, as well.  15 Cyberfights, 3 Can-Am matches, and directed and starred in 4 “East Coast” battles distributed by Can-Am.  This incredible list doesn’t even broach the subject of his mainstream indy pro wrestling resume (mostly because there’s just too many matches to count, but also because it’s fundamentally a step to the right of where my primary tastes lie).  If I ever start awarding lifetime achievement awards, Cameron is obviously an instant favorite!  But in the of-the-month head-to-heads, July 2012 was the month that Cameron twist-tied the competition around the ring post and came out on top as far as entertaining me hardest.

Cameron claimed the title and wrapped it up in a bow.
Sporting an astonishingly sexy body that’s miles away from this long, lean, even skinny days as a rookie, Cam owned my adoration for teaching fitness model goldenboy Austin Cooper to think twice before he climbs into the ring with an indy pro veteran.  While true, Austin ends up with his boot planted on Cameron’s chest, pumping out a victory flex, I’ve got eyes and ears and a hard-on primarily for the power, beauty, and above all, the story telling of my homoerotic wrestler of the month, Mr. Mathews.

Cam’s the man making Austin flinch in anticipation of his next beating
Warming my heart and turning me on even harder, I got a message from Cameron about a day after awarding him the title.  Like Cage Thunder last month, Cam thanked me and not-so-subtly pointed out that “it’s about time.”  Knowing that he’s reading neverland only cements my infatuation and loyalty for Mr. Mathews.  His willingness to join the conversation and grant me a brief interview demonstrates that he’s not only a hunk, not merely an outstanding ring wrestler, not just in possession of a world class ass, but he’s also a gentleman who’s got his fans in mind as he does his thing.  Here’s a glimpse of what’s going inside the head of the reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month, Cameron Mathews.
——–
Cameron Mathews – Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month
Bard: Thanks for agreeing to take some questions for neverland readers on the occasion of being selected as the reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month! Finding out that a favorite wrestler reads my blog fills me with both excitement and dread. If there’s anything I’ve written about you in the past that’s pissed you off, I apologize! Now, I know you’re busy, because you’ve got to be the hardest working wrestler on the planet! I only halfway track your live pro wrestling events, but with the amount of airtime you’ve had on DVD and internet wrestling sites, it seems like you’re wrestling 24/7! What keeps you focused and getting your butt back on the road for your next match?

Cameron gets creative all over Austin’s back

Cameron: I think what keeps me going with wrestling is that it is fun. Even when I have a “bad” match I still have fun. I enjoy being creative. I enjoy being the first, or one of the only people who can do things. I like learning. There’s always something to learn and always something to improve on…or try doing differently.

Bard: Very cool! Your creativity and innovative spirit is clearly evident to me! Speaking of butts (see how I worked that in so smoothly?), yours generated a collective gasp, sigh, and then several grunts from the legions of gay wrestling fans the first time we saw you wrestling for companies like BG East, Thunder’s Arena, and Can Am. Do you wrestle any differently when you know that your audience is primarily gay, as opposed to when you’re doing shows in front of (presumably) straight audiences?

That….. ASS!!!!!

Cameron: Ha-ha on the smooth transition. The matches in front of a live audience have to be more varied than the studio matches due to time restraints, audience attention span, and other factors. Pro matches are expected to be exciting and quick, especially on television. With a studio match you are able to tell a better story. More drama. More detail. I prefer longer matches.

At least on camera, Cam gets “impolite”
with fitness star Rio Garza.

Bard: Me, too! I love a good story and lots of drama in wrestling, and I think you’re one of the best at doing just that. I’m guessing that you must be good to work with, because you’ve worked with pretty much everyone and they seem to keep asking you back. Based on that premise, I’m also deducing that you’re a genuine professional, in the best sense of the word, and you probably don’t often talk shit about other wrestlers. So I won’t ask you to name any names… just tell us some backstage dirt on some of the boys you’ve worked with. You’ve wrestled everyone!

Cameron: I try to be a polite when I’m in new places. I am actually probably the one you hear stories about [laughing]. I am passionate about wrestling. As for the other guys, that is their business. There are guys out there that I do not get along with. Both in pro and studio. I try to remain professional and polite. It doesn’t always work.

Bard: Very diplomatically stated! Surely you can name some names when it comes to who’s been the best to work with. I interviewed Lon Dumont a year and a half ago, and he certainly speaks highly of you. Do you strike up any real friendships with other wrestlers in the crazy busy schedule you keep?

Cameron and Big Sexy stay in touch.

Cameron: As for some people I’ve become friendly with, Big Sexy is a good friend and badass fighter. Lon was my first real pro wrestling trainer when I was 14. He’s actually helped get me in shape. Coupe from Thunders is a great guy. Zman is always fun to be around. Always smiling and wanting to try crazy wrestling ideas. Jonny Firestorm is probably the person I most relate to. Just really started to chat and hang out with him more often. Aryx Quinn and I stay in contact. He’s always traveling North America. I enjoy all the guys who run the products. They are all unique and smart men.

Bard: Good to hear! That’s a diverse collection of guys that you’ve connected with. So your physique in your newly released match with Austin Cooper for Babyface Brawl 2 is astonishing! Not that you haven’t always been a stunning looking specimen, but damn! Have you been on a new diet or training differently lately? Do you see the transformation in yourself that so many fans have been appreciating?

Lon Dumont whipped Cam’s muscles
into shape (and charged him for the privilege!)

Cameron: Like I mentioned, Lon worked with me on a diet and workout plan. Even charged me! I actually got “too lean” so I stopped doing the diet. Well-worth the price though. He is extremely talented.

Bard: I seem to remember from Lon’s first BGE match him explaining, “I don’t just give this away for free.” Apparently that goes both for flexing and for training! I’m sure you hear more than you can stand from fans and critics about what they want to see more of from you. Armchair critiques (and I freely admit I’m one of the worst offenders) seem to have a never-ending stream of opinions about wrestling and wrestlers. From your side of the equation, though, what would you like to see or hear more of from fans of wrestling? More praise? Less pirating? More appreciation for the athletes, the injuries… what would you wish for fans to “get” more about the work that you do?

Cameron: I’ve been wrestling professionally for like 12 years now and I just read from a blogger that I was “green.” He reassured everyone who read that I had lots of potential and was good. I’ve been told I am good. I’ve been told I suck. I’ve been told I am good…all in a few weeks by different pro wrestling “names”. If I suck, tell me why I suck. I’ve always disliked hearing that there was nothing that I could’ve done better…because that was a lie. With that being said, if you don’t like me tell me what I can do better. If I’m good, tell me you like it. I don’t know what people like. I know what I’d like to do or expect to see…or not expect to see. It’s all trial and error.

Bard: That sounds like a healthy and extremely mature attitude. I’ll take that as my cue to keep reviewing and critiquing (and praising!) your work. Like I said when I named you reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month at neverland, I love your sense of humor, your rocking body, your awesome sell… you’re a star, which makes your willingness to take a few questions from me an absolute thrill for me. Is there anything else that you’d like to say to your gay fans out there that have been dropping me notes over the past few days telling me that it’s about goddamn time I recognized you as homoerotic wrestler of the month?

Cameron: I received a text from Al in New Jersey to check out the blog. I read the article and looked at the sidebar but didn’t really “catch on” until the end. It was very cool to be given that honor…and it only took 7 and a half years to do it [laughing]. I actually texted Lon about it.

Bard: Well, in my own defense, I’ve only been blogging for 3 years, and I’ve only been naming homoerotic wrestlers of the month for 2 years. But your point is well taken and something I’ve heard frequently from your fans in the past couple of days. It’s about time you got your well-earned honors!

Cameron: As for my fans, whether gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, asexual or undecided…I just am glad that I have been allowed to live the dream of being a pro wrestler and seeing the world. I don’t think I could’ve done so much had I not been exposed to wrestling, both pro and film. So thank you for letting me see the lights, even if they are on the ceiling.

Bard: I’m a huge fan of wrestlers being exposed! And I’m officially a huge fan of yours. Thanks a lot, Cameron!

Joshua Goodman is hell-bent on giving Cameron more exposure!

Cameron: I’ll also be opening a new site sometime but thats neither here nor there. Thank you again.

Bard: I look forward to hearing about the new site!

Aw, Shucks

Thunder’s Arena’s Python (and his goofy grin)
On Friday I started off my review of the top biceps that turn me on in homoerotic wrestling by marveling at the fierce pythons on Thunder’s Arena’s new muscle boy, Python. I also mentioned in passing, among Python’s many notable features, he’s got a damn adorably goofy grin. I haven’t seen his debut against Angel yet, but his photo shoot pics are full shots of that toothy, awkward, cute-as-a-button overbite from the slammin’ gorgeous bodybuilder. The “aw shucks” homoerotic wrestler has a strong appeal for me. The “aw shucks” wrestler is that rookie who, whether he’s got the guns to blaze like Python or not, he sports an undisguisable self-consciousness about him.  He looks like he’s got an ocean of insecurity swirling just underneath the surface of a barely managed game face.  Without words, he communicates with perfect clarity, “aw shucks, I’m just lucky to be here.” He knows we’re looking at him, marveling, fantasizing, and he feels like he should probably do something, flex just so or say something witty, but all that he’s got at the moment is that “aw shucks” goofy grin.
Thunder’s Arena Dallas goes from  “aw shucks” to “oh, shit!”
Thunder’s Arena puts up more than their fair share of “aw shucks” wrestlers.  Before his recent match with Coupe, Dallas adamantly insisted that between the two of them (both with spotty win-loss records, to say the least), he was the bigger chump. Coupe couldn’t believe that Dallas could possibly be as much of a jobber as he is. But the look on Dallas’ face as they faced off in speedos is priceless. It morphed delightfully from “aw shucks” to “oh, shit!” Coupe is an extraordinary muscle freak, and Dallas, while delightful to look at it, is relatively soft and crunchable standing vulnerably in Coupe’s shadow. Self-conscious vulnerability, stage fright, a little bit of “what the fuck am I doing here?!”… it can be a nice element in the typically over the top battle of narcissists who more frequently populate the scene.
Big Sexy and PeeWee give the “aw shucks” wrestling motif 4 thumbs up.

Thunder’s took Aw Shucks to (and possibly over) the edge of credulity with the infinitely fuckable babyface who wrestles diminutively as PeeWee. PeeWee showed up to audition for Thunder’s knowing full well that he’d get his ass kicked. Big Sexy is more than happy to make PeeWee’s prophecy self-fulfilling, but PeeWee keeps the “aw shucks” attitude going from start to finish. He’s a hot little muscle stud with some unquestionably hot moves of his own, but even when he’s working some rare riding time on Sexy, PeeWee is profoundly insecure and self-deprecating. Even when he’s got Sexy so compromised that he could (if he chose) yank down Sexy’s trunks and fuck his ass, PeeWee is supremely self-critical and predicts his own demise. Bulging muscles, bulging pouch, bulging insecurity… this works for me in many (though definitely not all) cases.

Showing up for his BG East audition sexy Alexi Adamov
grins nervously for approval from Brad Rochelle.
Thunder’s, however, definitely doesn’t corner the market in “aw shucks” wrestlers. These days, tall, tasty Alexi Adamov is all about that deep bass rumble and a tenuous certainty that he can, on any given day, kick some ass.  But in his first BG East match, showing up for a faux “audition” after the stealth coup of the compound by heel-turned Brad Rochelle, Alexi is one great big, luscious, gorgeously smooth, ridiculously pretty slice of humble pie. Brad, getting his kicks off of fucking with the newbie’s mind, requires that the Russian babyface try on several possible gear choices, each one more made-to-order for a jobber beatdown than the last. Alexi poses for Brad, obeying the veteran’s instructions, proud of his beautiful body but seemingly easily unnerved by Brad’s strategic verbal jabs and slights. Alexi is just pleased as punch to get a shot at the world of BG East, and recently emerged heel Brad is like a hungry spider, slowly luring the fly into his web to slowly, mercilessly suck him dry.
Morgan Cruise – too smiley to heel?
Morgan Cruise is a quick study, learning nasty-ass lessons from the likes of pro veteran (and current contender to re-take the title as my favorite homoerotic wrestler – nonpornboy division) Lon Dumont on the nuts and bolts of constructing a BG East ring heel. Morgan’s most recent appearance was showing that he was taking notes from Lon by turning around and catching ripped rookie (and last month’s homoerotic wrestler of the month) Eli Black off guard and pounding the shit out of him forever. But if you missed Morgan’s first match, facing off against Lon with the explicit agenda of being BG East’s next great heel, then you missed Morgan’s “aw shucks” moment (which was, not coincidentally, the same moment that it was crystal clear that Lon was going to own his ass). Morgan flexes proudly. He bounces his pecs in Lon’s face. He says the right words about being confident in his own destiny as a big, burly muscle heel. But he’s got that unmistakable toothy, self-conconsious, I-can’t-quite-sell-myself grin on his face. Lon even notes that Morgan is a little too “smiley” for a heel-wannabe. Lon’s crushing of him seems to have squeezed the “aw shucks” right out of him, but no mistaking it, Morgan Cruise initially showed as an “aw shucks” rookie bear cub.

Rio Garza always looks like he can’t quite believe
his own luck.

And finally, when it comes to “aw shucks” wrestlers, Rio Garza’s tasty hot ass is seated squarely in line with the best of them. Can-Am has exploited what I’m guessing is Rio’s genuine state, that of the stunning muscle stud who’s a little awed to be asked back over and over to be ogled and admired by armies of gay wrestling fans. When he faced Aryx Quinn (pretty much the opposite of the “aw shucks” wrestler), like Alexi Adamov, Rio was easily manipulated by the mind games of a sadistic veteran. Rio was nothing short of humbled by the status as a brand new Can-Am “exclusive,” and with some strategically placed compliments from Aryx, the awkward, sort of embarrassed grin on his face grew. This all simply makes him oh-so-ripe for a humorless and merciless crushing from Aryx. The device works particularly well with Rio, I think, explaining why he showed up wanting Cameron Mathews and Paul Hudson to teach him how to be a pro wrestler. He knows he’s strong. He knows the fans like looking at him. But with a little nervous grin, he admits to the pros that he’s got something to learn about the business. Cameron and Paul, of course, oblige, and Rio’s “aw shucks” awkward grin gets twisted into beautiful agony soon enough.

All those muscles can’t quite disguise the self-conscious grin on Python’s face.

A little “aw shucks” goes a long way for what turns me on. Overplayed, and it comes across as amateurish and distinctly less than erotic. But sprinkled on top of a hot steaming helping of beautiful bodies, skimpy gear, and hard hammering wrestling, an adorably goofy smile and a self-conscious glance down at one’s own feet can make for a sweet set-up to an arousing match.