I’ve often written about just how titillating I find it to see behind-the-scenes images of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers. It’s like how I get off more on Clark Kent than Superman (true story, also related to why I get off on hunks in glasses). Several years ago, I received the first of several batches of candid photos of BG East wrestlers, clearly taken before, sometimes during, or occasionally after since-published matches. These photos come to me anonymously and shrouded in mystery, much to the annoyance of powers that be at BG East, as well as some of the wrestlers. I know for a fact that at least one wrestler, accused of being the mole, was threatened with bodily harm if he were discovered to be the one smuggling BGE intellectual property off site and leaking it to the media (I love being considered “the media”!). But thus far, Our Man Inside (or OMI, as I affectionately refer to him) has remained unmasked, and the plucky mother fucker has continued to sneak shots my way, risking life and limb, just to get me (and you) hard. Fuck, I love that guy!
I am thrilled to announce that OMI apparently continues to work among the crew at BG East, because he just dropped me a bunch of new contraband. As always, there’s absolutely no context given for any of these shots. Some of the look like they came from recent releases, and some of them look like they may foreshadow yet-unreleased match-ups. The men are all gorgeous, of course, but it’s the unguarded, half-shy smiles, that turn me on so hard. There are real life, beautiful young men behind the larger-than-life wrestling personas they put on to compete at the elite level of homoerotic wrestling. I love catching that glimpse of the wrestlers just being guys, playful, shy, quirky, and effortlessly themselves.
Thanks, OMI. You are truly my hero, and your courage and commitment to feeding my libido leave me owing you a debt I fear I will never have the pleasure to repay!
You only have until the end of the day Thursday to register your vote for the Best of BG East in 2016, so I’m going to power through the remaining categories for those waiting for the completion of this voter’s guide. As always, take it with a grain of salt. My opinions reflect nothing more than my opinions. Just vote. It’s supposed to be fun. All of these wrestlers are beautiful, and we’re lucky to get to enjoy their wrestling, so heap praises on all of them.
I’ve asked for clarification on this category before, but not really gotten any. The options are matches, but they aren’t all really submission matches, so the category isn’t best submission match so much. But we don’t get to vote on a particular submission within a match. I’m sure I’m over thinking it. In any case, I’ll keep my comments brief in the interest of getting through the remainder of the ballot before the polls close.
Two sensationally skilled indy pro wrestlers add up to incredible submissions. I was torn between including a photo of this Mexican Ceiling hold or Lucky’s gorgeous stretcher, hanging from the ropes and wrenching Dick every wrong way. Very top quality wrestling, with sensationally executed submissions.
The options for sensational submissions exponentiate when you throw three highly skilled indy pro veterans in the ring for a free for all. It’s hard to beat Guido’s simultaneous camel clutch on Brute and Boston Crab on Jonny for innovation and strength. This is my second favorite submission in the mix.
Submissions fly every which way between Drake and Ethan, so it’s hard to pick out just one to highlight. I’m partial to this gorgeous figure-4 face-smothering Ethan uses to put Drake out cold. Of course, two pony rides in this match sort of epitomize submission. Extremely hot back and forth in this battle.
Again, I’m not sure which one submission to highlight, but I’m pretty sure it’s one where Skip Vance is getting his skinny ass handed to him on a platter (because that’s pretty much every submission in this match). I do like everything about this particular submission hold featured here, with Paul applying scissors, a vicious hammerlock, and grinding Skip’s screaming face into the mat, all at the same time. Art, people. Art.
Again, so many options to choose from. I’ll call out Jonny’s leg choke, over the ropes, with a pec claw chaser, but I’m nearly as much a fan of the fish hook camel clutch. And the ball bashing. And the… wait. We’d better move on if I’m getting through this voter’s guide.
Now consider the submission possibilities with 4 wrestlers in the ring, often simultaneously. This is my vote for Best Submission mostly based on how blown out of the water I was by this out-of-nowhere gravity defying torture hold from debuting newbie Chase Addams. Chase calls this hold the Will Breaker, and you should hear 6’2″ Christian crumble like shattered glass when the devastating newbie trusses him up as if he’s been doing this for decades. My second favorite submission from this match is Christian and his tag team partner Charlie teaming up to squeeze a submission out of Ty Alexander with simultaneous face-to-crotch headscissors and a Boston Crab. Tag team wrestling done so, so right in this match.
Talk about open to interpretation. Actually, I suspect most of us gauge this category based on how successfully a match got us off. So that means the criteria is extremely subjective, and guessing who may win seems incredibly difficult.
Fuck, this match is sexy. Ty is nobody’s jobber in walking this pornboy through his pro wrestling paces. The match is explicitly and directly about sexual conquest from well before these two even make it to the ring. Surprisingly deep when it comes to the wrestling drama, this is an outstanding entry into the X-Fight lexicon.
Total newbie Calvin Haynes likes the look of Christian Taylor, so he initiates the hottest foreplay on the planet: wrestling. This is another erotic-forward match packed with the drama of two gorgeous, hot studs so obviously turned on by each other. The pool wrestling is brutal. The towel off is tender. And the bedroom wrestling finale is a magnificent combination of both.
At the beginning of the match, I thought this “loser gets shaved” things was a little gimmicky. About halfway through, in the middle of gallons of sweat, I was stunned by the intensity and balls out seriousness of the wrestling. By the end, this has always been about hot, steamy, lush passion, with a little side serving of tender loving to give it that sweet finish. I think this is my second place choice for Sexiest Match this year, but buckle up, because this is not the last you’ll see of Drake in this category.
That’s right, sabotaging his own success as only Drake can, he’s competing against himself for Sexiest Match in Ring Releases 4. Incredibly compelling match with equal parts scream queens, Hitchcock, and Bel Ami. My only complaint is Drake’s gear, which mercifully gets ripped off him soon enough in the match.
Hands down, the sexiest match of the year for me was Matmen 26, between Drake and Skrapper. The match is so aggressive. It’s so intense and brutal and it careens like a runaway train into sweat soaked erotic passion so authentically. I don’t think we see nearly enough full naked wrestling in this homoerotic industry, so the portion of the match that keeps charging ahead well after they both lose their gear is so satisfying. Even though I’m a big fan of both of these boys, this match took me by surprise by how totally compelling it was, and the erotic tension from start to finish is superb.
Best Ring Match
This match is what happens when you put a big, bulging pro wannabe in a ring with a bigger, more bulging, sensationally seasoned pro. The story practically tells itself, though you have to watch it to get the bait and switch that Kelly sells so remarkably successfully. Biff suffers so sensationally that it brings a tear to my eye. This is my second favorite ring match of the year.
Again, if you want an outstanding ring match, toss two extremely experienced indy pros into the BG East ring and insist they battle until one of them wins with a 10 count. Guido and Dolph classed up the place when it comes to quality ring wrestling and pro brutality. I love the grit and egos and battle of wills. Endurance sport with thoroughbreds like this is rare and gorgeous to watch.
And then there’s that magic again that you get when you toss a beefcake wrestling wannabe in the ring with a seasoned pro heel. I always, always have a bias toward homoerotic wresting that’s more homoerotic, so this is my second favorite ring match on the ballot. Bigger than life. Beautiful as hell.
Again, my vote goes to the opening match of Tag Team Torture 19. From the opening sequence in which Charlie Evans introduces himself to BG East by perfectly executing a Ginger Snap, to the corner to corner melodrama between the teams, to the magnificent intramural contest between Team Vanity to get their opponents to name which of them hurts them worse, to Chase’s Will Breaker, to this Beauty and Beast double team combo (by the good guys, no less), this match is packed with classic pro tag team wrestling with just the right amount of homoerotic flair to make me recognize it as our own.
And then there’s what comes from throwing two pretty boys who we’ve watched grow into this business tear into each other. I don’t think of either JJ or Chace as naturals in the ring, which makes the pace and power of this ring match such a pleasant surprise. Not nearly as homo or erotic as TTT19, still there’s a big BGE stamp on this match that comes from the way these two have developed under the guiding hand of the Boss.
And now, for your consideration, the combo of an experienced indy pro jobbing for yet another pretty boy who we’ve watched grow into a magnificent BG East-style pro. I’d almost considered voting for this on the off chance that giving more praises to matches in which Kirk gets clobbered would inspire more of the same in the future. But you don’t have to carry my grudge against Howdy Doody to see a lot to like in this match, not least of which is hot muscle domination, buckets of sweat, and big vs.little boy bashing.
My least favorite category, so I’ll say the least about it. I do love a good squash on rare occasions. Not nearly as often as a lot of you, clearly, because the industry pumps out so many more squashes than I can consume. But sure, on occasion, a one-sided total mauling of one hunk by another hits some sweet notes to savor.
Kip squashed like a bug. Gorgeous. I still say that Flash LaCash is far prettier than he seems to get credit for. But it’s hard to focus on the pretty when he’s such a devastatingly effective muscle heel.
You had me at “Kid Karisma.” If anyone can carry a squash narrative and keep me engaged, it’s Kid K. He is a fucking BEAST in this match. I’d say more, but it would mostly be about Kid K’s body. This would be my second choice for this category, if pressed to have one.
My vote goes to Trey and Thrash for a few reasons. First, Trey Dixon is a god. Doomed, but a god. Thrash is outstandingly compelling. He’s another incredible debut that could easily have deserved a spot on the ballot there as well. And finally, Thrash destroys Trey in order to own him. A lack of motivation sinks most squashes for me, so when Thrash starts signaling where all this beauty bashing is heading, I’m hooked. Fuck, more Thrash. More Trey Dixon. Please.
Maybe this is my second choice. I don’t know. I will say this match turned me into a big Kelly King fan. Huge push to Biff’s consideration for Top Jobber.
I have no idea what motivates Cybertron. He’s a magnificent specimen of a man, but honestly, he won this match against Mister E about 45 seconds in. But he doesn’t stop. Why is that? Why don’t I “get” squashes more than I do?
Okay, maybe this is my second place. Whatever. I will say that it’s a little shocking that these two sensational physiques got completely shut out of the body part categories. Though I did put Viggo up for my personal “Best Legs” contest. In any case, massive, mega squash, pretty on pretty.
So many choices. So little time. You have until Thursday at midnight to cast your ballot for the BGE Besties, so let’s get on with this voter’s guide for anyone sitting on the fence. Now let’s take a look at the categories that I think of as the most hotly contested out of the whole ballot.
Last year’s Top Heel winner, Guido Genatto, is back to defend his title. I suspect there may be relatively little variability in our subjective interpretations of what is a heel. Vicious. Underhanded. Sadistic. Dominating and devastating. When done right, heels make the pro wrestling world go round in a well-understood way. You have 6 fine options of wrestling hunks who definitely did it right in 2016.
Perennial threat for the Top Heel title, Jonny Firestorm heeled it up in 2016 in 3-Way Thrash 4, 3-Way Thrash 3, Ring Wars 25, and Hunkbash 18. Jonny is always dangerous. Always devastatingly skilled. And he’s always deeply delighted to make an opponent, the bigger the better, scream like a bitch. He has an army of well-established fans infatuated with his particular skill set, almost certainly including his best bulge contender. He’s an institution, and I think he has to be the heel with the best chance to dethrone Guido this year.
It should come as little surprise that my vote goes to my longstanding favorite homoerotic wrestler, Kid Karisma. In 2016, Kid K appeared in Demolition 21,The Great Outdoors 2, Fan Fantasy 4, and Gazebo Grapplers 18. He has a strong, well-established base of voting fans (not just me), and he brings a novel, character-based party boy twist to the classic story of a bulldozing muscle heel. Personally, any heel who takes such pleasure in crushing his opponents, and who does it with such panache, and who delights in locking down a post-victory kiss as a trophy is a heel I can’t help but adore.
Paul Hudson seems like the dark horse in this race for Top Heel. Paul wrestled in Chace LaChance’s spotlight and in Gazebo Grapplers 18. He’s devastating and merciless like a good heel, no doubt. He’s neither exceedingly pretty nor a muscle beast, so I worry that some superficial thresholds for fanaticism may not lean in Paul’s favor for a popular vote like this. My gut reaction is that I don’t think of him as particularly sadistic. I don’t know if he takes as much joy in ripping an opponent apart as the other contenders, and he’s such a phenomenal wrestler, I don’t know if we see him resort to underhanded shenanigans as much, because frankly, he just doesn’t need to. But he definitely brings range and richness to this field that I love.
Flash LaCash enters the race with immense heel cred to his name. In 2016, he wrestled in Ring Wars 25 and Demolition 21. He digs his claws into an opponent with a consistent bemused detachment. Flash always starts off assuming that, once having seen his imposing, hot, handsome, muscled body, opponents will, when given the option, simply concede and save themselves a mountain of suffering. They never do, but Flash seems persistently surprised by their determination to get mauled. His initial detachment tends to bubble over into open, sadistic delight once he starts carving. He likes the taste of terror dripping off the bone. I know he has serious fan backing, but with only a couple of appearances last year, I don’t know if he’ll have momentum heading into the voting.
Back to defend his title, Guido Genatto makes a hard case to dispute. He didn’t exactly coast on last year’s success, showing up in 2016 in Biff Farrell’s Wrestler Spotlight, 3-Way Thrash 4, Last Man Standing 2, and Demolition 19. When it comes to heeling, I don’t know if Guido actually enjoys making another man hurt, as much as he enjoys being Guido. He fucking loves being Guido. And being Guido means bulldozing one chump after another, regularly doing housekeeping around his “Heel Hut,” and taking out the trash. There’s not a ton of nuance when it comes to Guido, I don’t think. There is no other mode than beast mode. He’s a force of nature. And he has a ton of crossover indy pro fans who worship the ground he takes a piss on. I have to think he’s odds on favorite for taking the title again this year.
Damn, Beaux made a huge impression on the nominating committee in his debut year. He muscles his way into contention for Top Heel on the merit of just two appearances in 2016, his debut in X-Fight 40 and his follow up in Dark Knights 13. Debuting as a top tier heel is an incredible feat. Beaux’s got the whole package to be nothing short of a wrecking ball as a chiseled, sub-bass bad ass with a porn star cock and a relish for molding opponents into worshippers. The flaming tats licking his calves capture this moment in time best: Beaux is on fire, and if he were to jump in line ahead of these other 5 contenders, I’d call this the biggest upset of the decade.
I prefer to think of this as “Most Awesome Ass.” I don’t remember how many times Kid Karisma has successfully defended his title, but fortunately for me, he’s back again to flex those glorious glutes side-by-side with 5 other studs who think they’ve got what it takes to unseat his legendary backside. One more major shocker on the ballot this year is the absence of Trophy Boy Ty Alexander. No one, and I mean no one is prouder of his pretty ass than Ty, and I’m certain that the Trophy Boy is smarting from the snub from the academy. But we’ve got a job to do, and it’s looking at these 6 asses that were nominated. I suppose the only question is how do you like your ass served? Bubble butts? Taut and athletic? Striated, carved muscle? Thick and luxurious? Whatever your taste, tuck in and take a look at this year’s contenders.
I can’t remember if Jake Jenkins has been a contender for the title of Best Butt before, but he’s certainly classing up the place with that thoroughbred derriere this time around. Jake wrestled in Chace LaChance’s spotlight, Undagear 25, and Catch-Weight 7. His cheeks are crafted by function. His ass isn’t extravagant, certainly not the most muscular or the roundest in the bunch. But it’s perfectly suited to his athleticism and flexibility. I know that JJ has an immense fan following, and I know that there are plenty of fans who prefer their wrestlers’ butts lean and taut. If there’s a split vote between some of the Tom of Finland physiques in this race, JJ could very well pull out the upset.
Speaking of a Tom of Finland physique, we finally arrive at the category that I think Van Skyler makes his most compelling case for. Again, Van only showed off his moneymaker in Undeagear 26 at the end of 2016. His cheeks are sensationally round and lush and squeezable (just ask Payton Meadows). This is prime go-go boy butt, built off what I assume are equal parts wrestling, dancing, and genetics. I think his fan following is quickly growing, but I don’t know if it’s big enough to let him overtake the likes of Kid K. But even a Kid K fanatic like me has to acknowledge that on pure aesthetics, on fantasy man fuckability and sheer beauty, Van’s ass is a serious challenge to Kid K’s dominance.
Fuuuuuuck. Sorry, I just get lightheaded looking at Kid Karisma’s multi-award winning muscle glutes. He put that fine ass to work in 2016 wrestling in Demolition 21,The Great Outdoors 2, Fan Fantasy 4, and Gazebo Grapplers 18. I know the Ginger Warrior gets a little tired of us neglecting to worship every other inch of his magnificent physique, but once he strips down to a jock strap and looks the other way, time stops for just a fraction of a second. I’m ready to vote for Kid K for ass of the decade, possibly even ass of the century. Although, all that said, I was blown away by a particular rookie ass in 2016 that made me, for just an instant, forget my absolute loyalty to Kid K’s glutes. Not enough to take my vote, but enough for me to take note to see what could happen in 2017.
Kelly King’s beefy butt also shows up in the polls for the fans of big, juicy, working class glutes. He only wrestled in Biff Farrell’s spotlight in 2016, which might leave him a little lacking in momentum for a poll like this. Honestly, I think this nod to Kelly’s hot ass takes even the BG East back office boys by surprise, because I had a hard, hard time finding a posed shot showing off Kelly’s generous ass. I don’t think he’s been packaged and sold for what a magnificent butt he possesses, but fans and the nominating crew have, nevertheless, noticed. He has indy pro fans, of course, and heel fans at BG East love him, but between just one appearance and a lack of marketing attention paid to his (no less fuckable) ass, I think he’s a long shot for the title this year.
On the one hand, I’m surprised to see newbie Payton Meadows in the final heat of this race ahead of other famous ass-fan objects of lust like Ty and Cameron. Payton debuted this year in Undagear 25 and made my heart stop in Undagear 26. His ass just isn’t as round or muscular as Kid K or Van’s, but holy hell, on the other hand, Payton’s ass is as pretty as they come. Still photos just don’t capture what a fantastic, fantasyman ass this rookie possesses. As I’ve said before, I don’t think a lot of us have discovered his charms yet, and unless you put eyes to the Undagear 26 video evidence, you may not appreciate just what hypnotizing, compelling, fuckable ass he brings to the game. I’ll be shocked if he pulls it out this year, but I predict that if I see those French Canadian glutes looking that perky and pretty in action again, 2017 very well could be the year I stray from my knee jerk loyalty to Kid K.
I’m tickled to see Biff Farrell’s ass in the mix this year. Biff worked that ass hard in 3-Way Thrash 3, Babyface Brawl 4, Hunkbash 18, and his 3 Wrestler Spotlight matches. I think this side of him makes a more compelling case than his fight for Best Bulge this year. His ass is a happy compromise between Jake’s and Kelly’s. Round, strong, generous without jiggle, it suits Biff’s beefcake brawler body perfectly. I’d love to see opponent’s appreciate Biff’s assets more. He’s fucking stunning from head to toe, but opponent’s seem to inevitably dive right in to hatin’ and bashin’ on him. Slow down. On behalf of us all, marvel at the wonder that is this big, blond, blue-eyed, bulging beefcake. Take some extra time caressing that beautiful ass. If Biff’s ass was more of the story in his matches, I think I’d give him better odds for Best Butt. But as it is, Biff has a ton of fans who would give a kidney to get their hands on his ass, so he’s hardly a longshot.
Don’t forget to vote. As we all know, having the objective qualifications that make a candidate obviously superior and vastly more qualified don’t amount to victory if people don’t vote. Feel free to make your case for your favorites in the comments below.
I like not only a wide variety of bodies and builds and characters and gear and ages and races and ethnicities and scenarios in homoerotic wrestling, but I also like the combination of contrasts. Let me be clear, I have nothing against hunks squaring off against similarly fashioned hunks. But I’ve long experienced some special kink bonus about mismatches, or, more generically, unmatched pairs. For example, there’s something that turns me on exponentially about wrestlers in entirely different types of gear. One in street clothes, the other in pro trunks, for example, or one in an earnest amateur singlet and the other in a stripper thong. I’m not entirely sure why, but fuck, yes, that contrast cranks my cock with just that much more enthusiasm. It’s also relatively rare, I find. So much more often, opponents are not only dressed similarly, but even dressed in identical gear choices, just in different colors.
A more common unmatched pairing, which often lends itself to a mismatched pair as well, is the big vs. little throwdown. There are, of course, many ways to measure size, but on my mind today is the tall/short dichotomy. Watching a pair of hotties face off, when one opponent’s nose basically comes up to his opponent’s sternum, turn me on like nobody’s business.
And I’m not just talking about squashes, where big guys manhandle and abuse guys 3 weight classes below them from start to finish. I only occassionally tuck in to a big bully squash like that, but a particularly fine vintage for me is the big vs. little pairing that turns out delightfully competitive, or perhaps even tilted toward a particularly skilled little guy cutting a big man down to size.
Perhaps it has to do with blurring the lines, this extra excitement I have for the unmatched pairs. In straight-up competitive sports, there are weight classes that control the narrative, that offer the illusion that the ultimate outcome is indicative of the better man, the skilled or more determined (or luckier) combatant. An unmatched pair of contrasting sizes may acknowledge that the tale of the tape in homoerotic pro wrestling is almost never about fair play and the raw measure of strength and skill.
There’s attitude and lust, sadistic impulse and desire to dominate. I may still expect the smaller man to get outmuscled and manhandled, but pro wrestling has always relied on a suspension of disbelief, and when, through cunning or skill or an equalizing shot to the balls, the little guy puts a convincing hurt on his goliath, I don’t just go with it, I scream full steam ahead!
Particularly when it’s competitive, I definitely don’t mind it when a hot bundle of compact muscle gets a beating from his taller opponent, either. I’ve mentioned in the past how, every so often, a squash turns sour for me if it comes across as just bullying. But if the scenario sells legitimate suspense about the ultimate outcome of the match, I’ve certainly found myself getting off to a big man putting a hurt on a pint size muscleman probably as frequently as vice versa.
I’m not sure if I’ve come to any more clarity about my delight in a mismatched tall vs. short homoerotic wrestling match. But I know what I like, and things pump harder and hotter for me when a big guy and a little guy lock up, thrown down, and, especially, when they the winner (whichever part he played) sexually lords it over his vanquished foe.
Is there anyone else who gets off on that moment when a wrestler just totally fucks around with his beaten opponent just because he can? Of course there is.
Personally, I prefer that little bit of juicy drama to cap off a suspenseful back and forth battle of brawn and brains. I like to be kept guessing, tempted back and forth to jump to the conclusion of which hot hunk is going to reign victorious, only to have my assumptions and predictions called into doubt over and over. Then, once one roaring stud is driving that bus all over his opponent’s bested body, it’s incredibly provocative for me to watch him just mess with the defanged loser. You know, flex in his face. Rip off his trunks. Or, and here’s the topic I’m working a head of steam up about today, toss his broken, once dangerous body across your shoulders and take a victory lap around the ring.
I’m certain that the most satisfying victory lap I’ve ever witnessed is from the opening match of Wrestlefest 2. Moments before being awarded rookie of the year, Brad Rochelle is in a surprisingly tough tussle with then notorious jobber, sexy Patrick Donovan. The stakes are higher than normal because there’s a packed audience of fellow wrestlers watching, critiquing, urging on the boys from ringside. Brad is the it-boy. He’s tanned and phenomenally toned. Fans have been popping their corks uncontrollably for the past year since Brad debuted at BG East. Patrick has been racking up loss after loss, each one seeming to inspire yet a longer line of prospective opponents who want to dig their fingertips into his luscious pecs and make the pretty boy scream. There’s some sweet back and forth to start the match. Patrick is no pushover. But Brad folds baby cakes up like a peanut butter sandwich, pinning Patrick’s shoulders with his noggin nestled nice and tight between Brad’s muscled thighs. Someone eagerly urges Brad to make him squeal. Brad takes the first fall to the applause of his peers, giving the jobber a light slap in the face somewhere between playful and insulting. The fan favorite babyface rising looks like he’s got the jobber’s sweet ass tied up in a bow.
And then suddenly Patrick pounces. The lean, handsome stud with mouthwatering pecs flips over his opponent, folding Brad up in the very same, humiliating hold he was just submitted to. Patrick is raging, punching Brad’s ass, calling the jock stud a pussy. There’s laughter from the audience, as it starts to sink in that it-boy Brad Rochelle is currently getting his fantastic ass beat bad. Patrick refuses to relent until Brad is tapping, yelling out his humiliated submission. The boys ringside can hardly believe it, as Patrick pumps his fist in the air and then strolls over to take a seat on the top turnbuckle, soaking in the sight of Brad flat on is back in a pool of sweat, nursing his abused shoulder.
What happens next? Fuck, I love that suspense. As it turns out, Brad opens up a can of testosterone fueled, face-saving whoop ass to what climaxes to a standing ovation from the hooting audience. He’s working out a little rage at being publicly humiliated. He’s gratuitously brutal, egged on by his bruised ego and the cheers of the audience. Patrick is laid waste, and Brad hoists pec boy across he shoulders and jogs around the ring as the boys at ringside go wild. Brad’s face beams, feeling the victory deep down. He laughs at his total mastery, his complete ownership of the hot punk who a few minutes ago was calling him a pussy and punching him in the ass. Shimmering in sweat, flexed, magnificently victorious, he takes another lap just because the moment is so fucking sweet he needs to savor it.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more titillating victory lap. But I typically love one when I see it. It’s less compelling for me in a squash. When a boy’s been owned from start to finish, there’s less plot, less resolution of homoerotic wrestling tension wrapped up in a victory lap. But yeah, when all is said and done, it’s definitely value added for me to see a winner just fuck with his battered prey. Just because he can. Just because it feels good to demonstrate that he can do whatever the fuck he wants with all that potential, all that bluster and posing and prospective danger wrapped up in the muscled beauty beaten and now at his mercy.
I think it’s been a while since I mused over my infatuation with tattooed wrestlers. It’s true that my own ink likely biases me toward my appreciation of illustrated hunks, but then again, my appreciation of illustrated hunks definitely influenced my own body art choices. Not everyone looks good inked. Definitely not all ink looks good, as far as I’m concerned. But there are many tattooed wrestlers who instantly own my allegiance when the step onto the mat or into the ring, in large part because they’ve got incredibly sexy ink that I crave to see wrapped up all over their suffering opponent.
Here’s some of my choice pics from the recent crops of new release homoerotic wrestling products, featuring ink that grabs my attention and makes me pull for one hardbodied hottie over the other based in large part on the artistry they embody even before they sculpt their bodies into that most provocative aesthetic form: homoerotic wrestling.
Okay, I love me some Cameron Matthews. His attitude, his wit, his relatively recently redefined incredibly conditioned physique, that ASS(!!!)… it’s hard not to find myself wanting to identify with the babyface brawler turned muscle daddy for a heel bid. But fuck! Eli Black works his magic in my shorts once again in Mat Hunks 9, solidly holding my gaze and making me acknowledge he’s my boy in this match, and I have to think it’s his ever growing collection of tattoos.
A relatively recent release in what I think is Can-Am’s best genre contribution to homoerotic wrestling pits epically long-time favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy of mine, Rusty Stevens, against almost painfully beautiful pretty boy, Kevin Crowes in Pro Sex Fight 4. I have a documented record years-long that proves that there’s almost nobody to compete with Rusty Stevens in delighting, entrancing and infatuating me, starting well before he lays a finger on an opponent. And Rusty’s got some sweet ink, albeit he could use some touch ups, if you ask me. But Kevin Crowes’ combination of imminently fuckable classically proportioned beauty along with his bold, massive, gorgeous ink does what perhaps only one man before has been able to do: hold my attention and settle my ass securely and convincingly in the opposite corner from Rusty Stevens.
Paul Hudson’s tatted bicep makes Lon Dumont just a little less pretty.
Lon Dumont’s skin is smooth, clear and entirely absent of foreign pigment. It’s not the art tatted onto Lon’s body that has propelled him into the top echelons of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers, but the incredible beauty of his competition physique paired with a smart, vicious persona and high quality pro wrestling execution. What could make me root against my reigning favorite!? I think it’s two things, really. One, there’s something deeply stirring watching a whittled to an anatomy chart physique star go slack over and over in a knock outs match, and (more to the point of this post), his opponent Paul Hudson surprises me by smacking me firmly into the Hudson camp with his bulging trunks and upper arm ink. Lon’s face slack and smashed into the black band inked across Paul’s right bicep is simply gorgeous.
Illustrated MJ rides Attila’s ass
The 3rd match in Mat Hunks 9 catches me by surprise by how compelled I am by it. Attila Dynasty (and in particular, his ass) has long been an infatuation of mine. But MJ Vergara is visually astonishing the moment he walks into the BG East mat room and shoves Attila stumbling ahead of him. The mohawked muscle man is amazingly built, veins popping, muscles bulging, 25 inch waist (my guess, I haven’t measure him myself… but I’d be very happy to). His bold, beautiful tattoo stretched across the whole of his left pec and massive deltoid and trapezius muscles is simply beautiful! Attila is such a smart ass, such a cocky, swaggering, proven-dangerous son of a bitch, of course, and there are plenty of matches in which that character is exactly the one I can’t wait to watch work up a head of sadistic steam all over his crushed opponent’s body. Not this time, however. Fuck, I’m all on board with compact muscle stud MJ going ape shit all over Attila’s fine, fine ass, and I’m thinking that he’s got me sucked in to identifying with his plans for bully revenge thanks in large part to that gorgeous ink that absolutely swallows up Attila whole.
Beauty and power you just have to touch.
Chace LaChance and Braden Charron in BG East’s Summer Sizzler’s bonus are both in the best shape I’ve ever seen either of them, and sporting more ink than I think we’ve ever seen on either phenomenal muscle men. All of that inked muscle wrapped around each other, squeezing, stretching, and flexing is breathtaking. Who to root for when both stunning physique stars are in the best condition and most extensive ink ever? It’s a toss up for me, but I’m not complaining. There’s no way this can miss!
Big Sexy’s big, sexy ink on display.
Less surprising is Thunder’s Arena’s Big Sexy owning my lustful allegiance in Battle Space 45. If there’s a “total package” in homoerotic wrestling these days (by the way I estimate packages, at least), Big Sexy probably has the best claim. He’s smart and funny, highly skilled on the mats, handsome as hell, beautifully built, one of the most fuckable asses on the planet, and all of that beautiful artwork! Both an artist and a work of art, I’m entirely a Big Sexy fanatic when he steps onto the mats with the entirely tattooless muscles of a muscle star, Muscles.
Oiled ink on ridiculously hot Landon Conrad.
Naked Kombat’s newest release makes me gasp. Even if Landon Conrad didn’t have a few, modest tats on that insanely hot muscle bod, he’d definitely be my man in his match against amazingly hot, yet somehow unavoidably diminished in comparison, Alex Law. However, ridiculously handsome muscle hunk Landon does, indeed, have tats that drive home the point that this porn gladiator is suddenly my #1 Naked Kombat kombatant in any match for the foreseeable future.
Specimen illustrates total domination.
Thunder’s Arena has long been the place for the battles of the big men, and Battle Space 46 is a prime example. Looking for everything like Superman’s alternate universe arch enemy Bizzaro, bad boy and mighty meat head Vinny was never going to be my man after the tiff he dusted up around his “gay taunt” earlier in his Thunder’s career. But then again, with beautiful, branded beef like Specimen is serving up, it wasn’t like Vinny had a chance anyway. Beat his ass, make him cry, and give him an up-close examination of every tat, Specimen!
My final tat shout out is for another a BG East newcomer, bad ass Vic Madone. Vic is a perfect example of the difference between still frame homoerotic wrestling images and homoerotic wrestling in action. In still frame, this gorgeous stud is GORGEOUS! I mean, crystal blue eyes to swim in. A face that should be hocking ultra-expensive men’s cologne. A lickable body that appears to be the perfect intersection of form and function. Even with all of those very, very nice tats, I could picture still-frame Vic easily donning a tuxedo and walking a red carpet (and then climbing into a wrestling ring for a rip-n-strip extravaganza). But when I watched his debut match on Mat Hunks 9, there was nothing “pretty” about Vic. He mumbles non-stop, and I’d pay money for a translator, because I’m sure that incessant trash talk is sexy as shit. But Vic is an object of my lust like Michael Imperioli is in the Sopranos. He’s rough, mean as hell, machismo oozing out of his pours, and absolutely BRUTAL! Personally, I’m likely to root for anyone going up against Ray Naylor simply because I’m dying to see someone seriously ride that epic ass of his. But Vic is honestly phenomenal in this match, slowly warming me up from an initial tingling in my crotch to a full-on raging fever over the course of the first 5 minutes. I pity anyone who faces this hot, inked hunk, but I fully expect that if anyone does, you can count on me standing right behind Vic in anticipation of him doing serious damage.
So ink seems to be adding up to my allegiance lately. Of course, just because I’m rooting for one wrestler to win doesn’t mean I don’t thoroughly enjoy being surprised, having my boy bested, watching the power I’m invested and identified with tamed and conquered. But tattooed muscles wrapping up and locking down an outmatched opponent is a particular brand of hot for me.
Like fresh picked berries and crotch watching at the beach, BG East’s Summer Sizzler’s releases have become a seasonal treat for me. I’m a little dizzy from the initial overdose I just subjected myself to, scoping out the preview pics that are part of catalog 99.1, just released.
Boyfriend jobbers Skip and Christian make me think it’s not all bad getting crushed by Morgan Cruise.
Making my eyes water the hardest are the initial shots of Tag Team Torture 16: Boyfriend Beatdown, featuring the combo I’ve been bitching and moaning in anticipation of for years. Skip Vance and his real life boyfriend (and former HWOTM) Christian Taylor climb into the ring together for a 2-on-1 battle against heel-risen Morgan Cruise. Holy shit, this looks insanely hot. This looks like it’s heading in all the right directions, and I’m a little breathless in anticipation.
Chace LaChance and Braden Charron are RIPPED!
Speaking of breathless, shocking me just a little are the preview pics of the “Bonus Match” (for ordering all of the Summer Sizzlers) featuring Braden Charron and Chace LaChance both appearing to have physically peaked for the season at precisely the same moment that they climbed into the ring together. I may have seen Braden this ripped… possibly, but holy hell, I have never seen Chace as put together as this. Fuck. Me. Please.
Who’s Got Whom? Eli Black or Cameron Matthews?
Mat Hunks 9 is a stand-alone compilation that delivers a pretty perfect 8-pack selection of thirst-quenching hunks such as I’m not sure I’ve seen all on one DVD before. 3-time HWOTM Eli Black looks like he’s got his hands full with former HWOTM Cameron Matthews. This is a fascinating pairing, I think, and Cameron’s showmanship combined with Eli’s intensity seems like a formula for either disaster or perfection. I’m voting for perfection.
Rafe Sanchez takes the ride of MY life!
And speaking of perfection, former HWOTM and former and long-running overall favorite homoerotic wrestler of mine, Mitch Colby, snaps those tanned, rock hard thighs around the smooth, sexy head of long, long running infatuation of mine (though never a HWOTM), Rafe Sanchez (mmmmmmmm… Rafe). These two have appeared in some of the over the top sexiest wrestling I’ve ever enjoyed, so combined, I’m feeling dehydrated just thinking about it. And I’m not even going to mention the perfection of asses featured in the other two matches on Mat Hunks 9… yet.
Mr. Joshua had better watch his back (I’ll keep an eye on his front for him)
Finally, Ring Hunks 1 (how is this only the first of that title!?) throws former overall favorite homoerotic wrestler Mr. Joshua’s massive package headlong into the dangerous machinations of former HWOTM and recent interviewee here, Aryx Quinn. If anyone can unleash the beast, surely it’s diabolical Aryx! Right?! Please!?
So these releases technically fall in the month of May, but there’s no way I can assess them in time for tomorrow’s crowning of a new HWOTM, so they’re officially delayed to join the June releases. In the mean time, pass me a protein drink. I’m going in….
JoshH gave me a heads up that Rio Garza, who competes in fitness competitions as Alan Valdez, won the Model Universe 2012 Overall title last week! Our little boy is all grown up, and just like legions of homoerotic wrestling fans, the fitness model world can’t take their eyes off of Rio’s ripped, gorgeous body.
Reports are that Rio/Alan longs to be the most successful Mexican fitness model in history. While I’m no expert, I have to guess that he can check that box as he hoists his Model Universe trophy overhead. His proportions and fitness, particularly when he’s ripped, are superhuman! I’d expect to see a physique like this in the Louvre, or reclining in a toga on Mr. Olympus, so a Model Universe competition victory for this smoldering beauty seems somehow anti-climactic.
JoshH has mentioned to me often what an epic score it was for homoerotic wrestling fans when lovely Rio dipped his suckable toes into our corner of the pool. If you’ve lived under a rock for the past 3 or 4 years, you may not know that he’s wrestled for Rock Hard Wrestling (as Ray Martinez), for BG East, and for Can-Am. He’s featured in the just-past BG East catalog getting caught up in between some tough daddy-cub conflict in his self-titled Rio’s Bad Day. Rio’s Revenge is still on the list of “most popular titles” for Can-Am. Mr. Model Universe 2012 at the mercy of sadistic underground wrestlers putting on the show for gay eyes is, without a doubt, quite a score for homoerotic wrestling fans!
While Rio is living large on the stage of his fitness competition life, his journey through homoerotic wrestling products has been a tougher row to hoe. It’s no wonder that every sadistic bastard in wrestling can’t wait to get their hands on his award winning physique. “Pretty” can be like a giant red target on the lickable ass of a fitness model, and muscleman lovely Rio is dripping with pretty. Put him in the room with a couple of high flying indy pro veterans like Cameron Mathews and Paul Hudson, and just sit back and wait for the double team pec claw and neck breaker combo to bring godlike Rio to screaming, humiliated submission.
Rio shoves his lust for revenge in Jobe Zander’s face.
I’ve complained about Rio often not quite striking a selling combo of erotic and wrestling to fully satisfy my homoerotic wrestling fetish. However, his more recent appearances are scratching an itch that I’ve long longed for an ambitious Mexican fitness model to scratch. Exacting revenge on frequenttormentorJobe Zander, the Latino adonis’ schoolboy pin, slapping down his junk on the throat of the notorious heel, is poignant homoerotic character development for an innocent, naive poser like Rio. It seems like Jobe has finally, finally, finally awakened the beast, and whether Rio ends up on top or not, a fitness model flex with his balls dangling in his opponent’s face can feed my hunger for quite a while!
Sweaty Rio opens wide for dominating muscle god, Kid Karisma.
There’s probably nothing tastier for my taste buds than the first sight I caught of Rio wrestling, on the receiving end of a schoolboy pin this time, with the battering ram of my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, ripped red-headed musclegod Kid Karisma resting on his chin, in BG East’s Undagear 15. Rio’s wrestling “prowess” back then wasn’t what was yanking my chain, and the confrontation earned nothing but dripping contempt from the Karismatic one, whose tastes and opinions I tend to follow with somewhat worshipful adoration. But the visual contrast of these two fantasy men, with rippling Rio coated in sweat and flat on his back with his jock-strapped ass cheeks vulnerably spread at the mercy of Kid K’s flexing physique does all sorts of wonderful things for me. With “legitimate” mainstream fame under his belt, I have to wonder if new release Rio’s days are numbered. Likely, they already were, I imagine, as the producers of new content dip into their unreleased catalog to keep muscle-in-trouble fans sated with suffering Rio. While his homoerotic wrestling career left me flipping through other pages at points, I whole heartedly agree with JoshH on two points: homoerotic wrestling fans were lucky to see his likes performing our fantasies, and he deserves a hearty congratulations and best wishes for more modeling successes to continue. Keep flexing, Rio!
Reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month, Charlie Panther, grabbed my attention every bit as commandingly as he grabbed poor rookie, Tim Messina, and crushed him like a grape between his steel cabled thighs. Charlie is relentless, battering Tim in wave after wave of withering physical and psychological domination. The squash is breathtaking (for me… for Tim, it’s also dignity-stealing). Charlie’s non-stop verbal assault is every bit as humiliating as the non-stop physical assault, and that much more erotic for it. Charlie earned his status as my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month for all of that, but also for his incredibly hot, hard, sexy body. Perhaps what grabs me most is the change itself. Between three years ago and now, Charlie Panther went from looking like this…
…to looking like this…
Holy shit! Charlie’s mighty, meaty pecs and tight, narrow waist rock me hard. Losing the bleach increases his handsomeness by a multiple of at least 10, I think. But the physical transformation runs far deeper than a bottle of peroxide.
Irish Muscle God Devil Devitt targets where Charlie Panther used to be most vulnerable.
The last we saw of Charlie, he teamed up with the brutalizer Matt Stryker (and his dubious manscaping) to face off against the high flying, high quality indy pro team of Paul Hudson and Irish muscle god Devil Devitt. Charlie was big and beefy, no doubt, but next to the stunningly ripped physique of Devitt, Charlie looks ready to show up in a Wrestling Arsenal feature on doughboys.
Charlie gets a kick out of watching his opponent’s suffer.
That tag match was a rare re-match after Charlie’s nasty mauling of hardcore pro boy Paul Hudson in singles competition. I’m not sure if lovely, lithe Paul ever looked sweeter getting worked over by the heavyweight Panther. The contrast between them is a work of art. Charlie’s gorgeous, dark brown complexion wrapped around Paul’s blindingly lily white skin only skims the surface of the visual contrast between these two “blonds.” Paul is whittled down to the lean loveliness of a professional athlete who trains relentlessly and probably has the genetic gift of burning calories effortlessly. The snarling Panther is a full half a foot taller, fifty or so pounds heavier, and bursting at the seams to bully his lightweight indy pro opponent.
Cameron Mathews tries to turn the tide of fate and start a winning streak by tackling the Panther.
In the Big Cat’s only other match released to date, he was still sporting the unfortunate effects of bleach, but this time facing off against an indy pro a little closer to his own size, Cameron Mathews. Cameron was achingly young and pretty, not yet having quite blossomed into the muscle stud he is today. But despite having the reputation as “the company punching bag,” Cameron twist-ties Panther like a loaf of bread and pushes the Big Cat to reconsider whether all that talk he’s so good at may have just been digging him deeper and deeper into a hole. However, with the wind at his back, Charlie makes Cameron pay, crushing and slamming Cameron’s beautiful bubble-butt into whimpering submission.
Tim Messina doesn’t have enough hands to check all the bruises that muscle stud Charlie Panther pounds into him.
I have to wonder if that’s the Charlie Panther that Tim Messina thought he was going to face when he signed up for Pros in Private 9. Perhaps Tim thought he might catch the Big Cat flat-footed, counting on Charlie to lumber into the ring and underestimate him as just another in that long line of lean white boys who eventually succumb to the Panther-pounding. It’s easy to miss it, but Tim’s clearly an accomplished wrestler, and you just have to wonder if perhaps he was counting on exploiting Charlie’s soft-around-the-middle conditioning and outlast the Big Cat to a stunning career-establishing upset.
Charlie Panther displays his stunningly beautiful butt while threatening to pop Tim Messina’s head off of his neck.
If Tim was expecting to see the Charlie Panther of 3 years ago, imagine the shock to watch Charlie Panther 2.0 climb into the ring! Charlie must have dropped about 30 pounds of padding and then added another 15 back on in gorgeously seasoned, thick, powerful muscle mass. It’s not like Charlie’s ring record was suffering from having to work a little harder than any of his opponents to move his beefy body around the ring. He was already devastating. He took some licks, but let’s face it, carrying some extra ballast and all, he’d proven again and again that he wasn’t going to be satisfied until he’d beaten the will to fight out of his opponents.
The Panther roars with his prey captured helplessly and humiliatingly.
Now add to that tried and true formula for success a newly sculpted physique. Add to that concoction even more power, twice the endurance, and, unbelievably, even more self-possession that leaves no doubt that Charlie knows what a rocking stud and dominating ring master he is. He’s every ounce the same crushing, slamming, pounding presence he’s always been, but with that mouth-watering new body of his, the Big Cat is nothing short of a juggernaut. The second most astonishing thing about this match (after the unveiling of Charlie’s luscious new physique) is that poor Tim has still managed to resist the temptation to running screaming from the ring a full 30 minutes after he arrived.
Time and training have done Charlie Panther good!
Charlie Panther has all the moving parts that define a homoerotic wrestler of the month here at neverland. He’s got a mouth that never tires out. He’s got muscles just crying out for some slow, lingering, hands-on worship. He’s a seriously handsome mother-fucker, particularly without the extra weight and that unfortunate encounter he had with a bleach bottle a few years back. It’s amazing to me that I’ve managed to make it this far without mentioning his astoundingly lovely ass and the concealed handgun he’s got stashed in the pouch of his perfectly proportioned trunks. And, as always, most importantly, Charlie Panther tells an excellent story, both in word and in action, grabbing my attention, twisting my crank with both hands, and leaving me breathless and deeply satisfied.
I’ve been getting more requests lately to collaborate on new wrestling fiction. Teaming up is one of my favorite genres in homoerotic wrestling, so this just seems to have all sorts of great potential.
I’ve been told by someone who should know that tag-team wrestling in the homoerotic genre is pretty difficult to manage. I don’t know if it’s coordinating schedules, having enough time to generate some entertaining chemistry, managing four bodies flying through the ring without any permanent damage… I could imagine any and all of these things could be obstacles to more tag-team homoerotic wrestling products.
And I suppose that some of the same potential pitfalls and obstacles to getting 4 hunks in the ring to tell one story may also have parallels in the work of co-authoring original fiction. Schedules, working chemistry, making sure no one gets a permanently injured ego… the give and take and intrinsic balance required to collaborate and co-author requires finesse. I firmly believe that not everyone can partner up with just anyone. And even when words get on the page, there’s that hard to define element of chemistry that just has to be there or else it isn’t… All the moving parts might work, but if partners just aren’t in sync, it may just fall flat.
But when it works, teaming up can open up a lot of possibilities that are closed to me when I’m devoted to my singles career (so to speak). Teaming up to take on a big, big project that would probably defeat either one of us alone is a good example. Wrapping our minds and creative juices around a complex, yet hot property to double-team it into groaning submission can be a sweet, sweet victory. Of course the opposite is true as well. When you partner up to tackle the behemoth project and find that both your asses are handed to you in defeat, it can be just that much more humiliating.
Fortunately, my experiences with tag-teaming on writing projects has been pretty fun and, I think, successful. I like to think that I carry my end of the work load and that I’m pretty easy to work with. And so far, the partners I’ve stepped into the imagined ring with have been delightful to team with. When a new collaborator pushes me in a new direction, introduces me to new characters, and brings their own arsenal of innovation and creativity to a project, well frankly, that’s hot. Watch for some of these projects to get polished off with a double-teaming three-count and published to the Sidelineland wrestling fiction site in the coming weeks.