And the Nominees Are…

You only have until the end of the day Thursday to register your vote for the Best of BG East in 2016, so I’m going to power through the remaining categories for those waiting for the completion of this voter’s guide. As always, take it with a grain of salt. My opinions reflect nothing more than my opinions. Just vote. It’s supposed to be fun. All of these wrestlers are beautiful, and we’re lucky to get to enjoy their wrestling, so heap praises on all of them.

Best Submission

I’ve asked for clarification on this category before, but not really gotten any. The options are matches, but they aren’t all really submission matches, so the category isn’t best submission match so much. But we don’t get to vote on a particular submission within a match. I’m sure I’m over thinking it. In any case, I’ll keep my comments brief in the interest of getting through the remainder of the ballot before the polls close.

Ring Wars 25 – Dick Rick vs. Lucky Loko

Two sensationally skilled indy pro wrestlers add up to incredible submissions. I was torn between including a photo of this Mexican Ceiling hold or Lucky’s gorgeous stretcher, hanging from the ropes and wrenching Dick every wrong way. Very top quality wrestling, with sensationally executed submissions.

3-Way Thrash 4 – Jonny Firestorm vs. Brute Baynard vs. Guido Genatto

The options for sensational submissions exponentiate when you throw three highly skilled indy pro veterans in the ring for a free for all. It’s hard to beat Guido’s simultaneous camel clutch on Brute and Boston Crab on Jonny for innovation and strength. This is my second favorite submission in the mix.

Undagear 25 – Drake Marcos vs. Ethan Andrews

Submissions fly every which way between Drake and Ethan, so it’s hard to pick out just one to highlight. I’m partial to this gorgeous figure-4 face-smothering Ethan uses to put Drake out cold. Of course, two pony rides in this match sort of epitomize submission. Extremely hot back and forth in this battle.

Gazebo Grapplers 18 – Paul Hudson vs. Skip Vance

Again, I’m not sure which one submission to highlight, but I’m pretty sure it’s one where Skip Vance is getting his skinny ass handed to him on a platter (because that’s pretty much every submission in this match). I do like everything about this particular submission hold featured here, with Paul applying scissors, a vicious hammerlock, and grinding Skip’s screaming face into the mat, all at the same time. Art, people. Art.

Hunkbash 18 – Jonny Firestorm vs. Calvin Haynes

Again, so many options to choose from. I’ll call out Jonny’s leg choke, over the ropes, with a pec claw chaser, but I’m nearly as much a fan of the fish hook camel clutch. And the ball bashing. And the… wait. We’d better move on if I’m getting through this voter’s guide.

Tag Team Torture 19 – Addams & Alexander vs. Evans and Taylor

Now consider the submission possibilities with 4 wrestlers in the ring, often simultaneously. This is my vote for Best Submission mostly based on how blown out of the water I was by this out-of-nowhere gravity defying torture hold from debuting newbie Chase Addams. Chase calls this hold the Will Breaker, and you should hear 6’2″ Christian crumble like shattered glass when the devastating newbie trusses him up as if he’s been doing this for decades. My second favorite submission from this match is Christian and his tag team partner Charlie teaming up to squeeze a submission out of Ty Alexander with simultaneous face-to-crotch headscissors and a Boston Crab. Tag team wrestling done so, so right in this match.


Sexiest Match

Talk about open to interpretation. Actually, I suspect most of us gauge this category based on how successfully a match got us off.  So that means the criteria is extremely subjective, and guessing who may win seems incredibly difficult.

X-Fights 41 – Ty Alexander vs. Steven Ponce

Fuck, this match is sexy. Ty is nobody’s jobber in walking this pornboy through his pro wrestling paces. The match is explicitly and directly about sexual conquest from well before these two even make it to the ring. Surprisingly deep when it comes to the wrestling drama, this is an outstanding entry into the X-Fight lexicon.

Wet & Wild 8 – Christian Taylor vs. Calvin Haynes

Total newbie Calvin Haynes likes the look of Christian Taylor, so he initiates the hottest foreplay on the planet: wrestling. This is another erotic-forward match packed with the drama of two gorgeous, hot studs so obviously turned on by each other. The pool wrestling is brutal. The towel off is tender. And the bedroom wrestling finale is a magnificent combination of both.

Sexy Showdown 7 – Drake Marcos vs. Nino Leone

At the beginning of the match, I thought this “loser gets shaved” things was a little gimmicky. About halfway through, in the middle of gallons of sweat, I was stunned by the intensity and balls out seriousness of the wrestling. By the end, this has always been about hot, steamy, lush passion, with a little side serving of tender loving to give it that sweet finish.  I think this is my second place choice for Sexiest Match this year, but buckle up, because this is not the last you’ll see of Drake in this category.

Ring Releases 4 – Drake Marcos vs. Kayden Keller

That’s right, sabotaging his own success as only Drake can, he’s competing against himself for Sexiest Match in Ring Releases 4. Incredibly compelling match with equal parts scream queens, Hitchcock, and Bel Ami. My only complaint is Drake’s gear, which mercifully gets ripped off him soon enough in the match.

Matmen 26 – Drake Marcos vs. Skrapper

Hands down, the sexiest match of the year for me was Matmen 26, between Drake and Skrapper.  The match is so aggressive. It’s so intense and brutal and it careens like a runaway train into sweat soaked erotic passion so authentically. I don’t think we see nearly enough full naked wrestling in this homoerotic industry, so the portion of the match that keeps charging ahead well after they both lose their gear is so satisfying. Even though I’m a big fan of both of these boys, this match took me by surprise by how totally compelling it was, and the erotic tension from start to finish is superb.


Best Ring Match

Wrestler Spotlight Biff Farrell vs. Kelly King

This match is what happens when you put a big, bulging pro wannabe in a ring with a bigger, more bulging, sensationally seasoned pro.  The story practically tells itself, though you have to watch it to get the bait and switch that Kelly sells so remarkably successfully. Biff suffers so sensationally that it brings a tear to my eye. This is my second favorite ring match of the year.

Last Man Standing 2 – Guido Genatto vs. Dolph Danner

Again, if you want an outstanding ring match, toss two extremely experienced indy pros into the BG East ring and insist they battle until one of them wins with a 10 count. Guido and Dolph classed up the place when it comes to quality ring wrestling and pro brutality. I love the grit and egos and battle of wills. Endurance sport with thoroughbreds like this is rare and gorgeous to watch.

Hunkbash 18 – Jonny Firestorm vs. Calvin Haynes

And then there’s that magic again that you get when you toss a beefcake wrestling wannabe in the ring with a seasoned pro heel. I always, always have a bias toward homoerotic wresting that’s more homoerotic, so this is my second favorite ring match on the ballot. Bigger than life. Beautiful as hell.

Tag Team Torture 19 – Addams & Alexander vs. Evans & Taylor

Again, my vote goes to the opening match of Tag Team Torture 19. From the opening sequence in which Charlie Evans introduces himself to BG East by perfectly executing a Ginger Snap, to the corner to corner melodrama between the teams, to the magnificent intramural contest between Team Vanity to get their opponents to name which of them hurts them worse, to Chase’s Will Breaker, to this Beauty and Beast double team combo (by the good guys, no less), this match is packed with classic pro tag team wrestling with just the right amount of homoerotic flair to make me recognize it as our own.

Wrestler Spotlight Chace LaChance vs. Jake Jenkins

And then there’s what comes from throwing two pretty boys who we’ve watched grow into this business tear into each other. I don’t think of either JJ or Chace as naturals in the ring, which makes the pace and power of this ring match such a pleasant surprise. Not nearly as homo or erotic as TTT19, still there’s a big BGE stamp on this match that comes from the way these two have developed under the guiding hand of the Boss.

Demolition 20 – Austin Cooper vs. Kirk Donahue

And now, for your consideration, the combo of an experienced indy pro jobbing for yet another pretty boy who we’ve watched grow into a magnificent BG East-style pro. I’d almost considered voting for this on the off chance that giving more praises to matches in which Kirk gets clobbered would inspire more of the same in the future. But you don’t have to carry my grudge against Howdy Doody to see a lot to like in this match, not least of which is hot muscle domination, buckets of sweat, and big vs.little boy bashing.


Best Squash

My least favorite category, so I’ll say the least about it.  I do love a good squash on rare occasions. Not nearly as often as a lot of you, clearly, because the industry pumps out so many more squashes than I can consume. But sure, on occasion, a one-sided total mauling of one hunk by another hits some sweet notes to savor.

Demolition 21 – Flash LaCash vs. Kip Sorell

Kip squashed like a bug. Gorgeous. I still say that Flash LaCash is far prettier than he seems to get credit for. But it’s hard to focus on the pretty when he’s such a devastatingly effective muscle heel.

Demolition 21 – Kid Karisma vs. Mister E

You had me at “Kid Karisma.” If anyone can carry a squash narrative and keep me engaged, it’s Kid K. He is a fucking BEAST in this match. I’d say more, but it would mostly be about Kid K’s body.  This would be my second choice for this category, if pressed to have one.

Masked Destroyers 1 – Trey Dixon vs. Thrash

My vote goes to Trey and Thrash for a few reasons. First, Trey Dixon is a god. Doomed, but a god. Thrash is outstandingly compelling. He’s another incredible debut that could easily have deserved a spot on the ballot there as well. And finally, Thrash destroys Trey in order to own him. A lack of motivation sinks most squashes for me, so when Thrash starts signaling where all this beauty bashing is heading, I’m hooked. Fuck, more Thrash. More Trey Dixon. Please.

Biff Farrell Spotlight vs. Kelly King

Maybe this is my second choice. I don’t know. I will say this match turned me into a big Kelly King fan. Huge push to Biff’s consideration for Top Jobber.

Masked Destroyers 1 – Cybertron vs. Mister E

I have no idea what motivates Cybertron. He’s a magnificent specimen of a man, but honestly, he won this match against Mister E about 45 seconds in. But he doesn’t stop. Why is that? Why don’t I “get” squashes more than I do?

Hunkbash 18 – Viggo vs. Ronaldo

Okay, maybe this is my second place. Whatever. I will say that it’s a little shocking that these two sensational physiques got completely shut out of the body part categories. Though I did put Viggo up for my personal “Best Legs” contest. In any case, massive, mega squash, pretty on pretty.

Don’t forget to vote!



More than Skin Deep

Of the many things I’ve learned about sophomore heel rising Kayden Keller, he’s demonstrated repeatedly that he has phenomenal taste in wrestlers. Like me, Kayden was impressed with the blue-eyed, blond powerhouse rookie debut of big Biff Farrell.  But in Kayden’s opinion, even gorgeous Biff’s earth shaking entry into homoerotic wrestling takes a back seat to another debut in BG East’s catalog 108.

Chet Chastain – 5’10, 185 lbs

Stunningly handsome, silky smooth Chet Chastain is Kayden’s pick for hottest new hunk mixing it up in the BG East ring. It’s not hard to see why. Damn, this stud is dazzlingly pretty! And making his debut in BG East’s newest genre of heel on heel brutality, clearly tasty Chet arrives on the scene already minted as a fresh, promising heel. Built like that? A face like that? And down and dirty vile disdain for the dignity of his opponents?! Is it hot in here, or is it just Chet Chastain?

It’s Chet Chastain.

If there’s anyone who should be fucking furious right about now, it’s Chet’s Heel Bash 1 opponent, fellow rookie heel Dolph Danner. Dolph is a hot, intimidating, remarkably powerful newbie. He’s instantly one of the fiercest bad asses in contention. He’s lean, long, and illustrated. On another day, I have to imagine I (and perhaps Kayden) would be musing about how decisively dastardly Dolph knocked my socks off. But timing is everything.

“3rd Fucking Place!?”

Rookie on rookie action is a rare treat that I love. As Chet and Dolph smirk and strut, sizing each other up and immediately waging psychological warfare before laying a hand on each other, I’m fully engaged in anticipation of all of this untested promise. They both have ice in their veins.  They both promise to fuck the other up, and there’s something about the delivery that convinces me that they’ve fucked up more than their fair share of opponents in the past.  These guys clearly have arrived with luggage full of ring experience, and they quickly sell a three dimensional narrative.

Dolph likes something pretty trapped between his thighs. And speaking of between his thighs, Chet spends 1/3 of this match spread eagled in one way or another!

The action is extremely hard hitting and high impact. Early on, I’m expecting that Chet may be about to have the pretty smacked right off that beautiful face.  Dolph just has the look of a beast emerging from the shadows of a back alley, and Chet is just so fucking pretty! Have I mentioned that Chet is pretty?  Chet is pretty.  And Dolph looks like he enjoys making ugly happen.

Rub ever so slightly, and you’ll find a dark, vicious heel under all of that distractingly dazzling pretty on Chet!

But Chet is no babyface jobber, by any stretch of the imagination. He goes toe to toe with his taller opponent, and no shit, Chet is confident, calculating, and laser focused.  There’s this intensity that descends like a cloud over his handsome features when you can see a deep down raging sadist shine through all of that dazzling beauty. He likes to hurt people.  He fucking loves it.  There’s a lustfulness about his brutality, an aching desire in the way he wrenches Dolph’s joints in the wrong direction, that’s entrancing to watch.

Chet’s promise as a heel could be seriously jeopardized by how insanely sexy he looks trapped in the ropes.

If there’s one potentially catastrophic roadblock in the way of Chet’s ascendency in the ranks of homoerotic wrestling heels, it’s that he looks so insanely hot suffering. He looks genuinely shocked when dastardly Dolph starts to manhandle him. Just finding himself overpowered and at his opponent’s mercy appears to be so unfamiliar to this ripped, beautiful athlete that his eyes grow wide as he desperately tamps down moments of panic.  That silky smooth, golden hued, classically proportioned body of his rises to the level of high art when he’s trapped in the ropes, hanging helpless, or slowly morphing from flexed muscle god to soft, slack stud on the brink of unconsciousness. This hunk has a phenomenal range, and if anything, I think the homoerotic wrestling world struggles most with recruiting and holding tight to highly skilled wrestlers who can sell suffering and inspire a thousand erotic fantasies while doing it. I’m always partial to a gorgeously muscled babyface heel, mind you. But seeing Chet writhe and wriggle on the line, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a mass uprising of fans pleading to see him get taken down again and again and again.

Look this up in the dictionary under “mouth watering!”

Both Dolph and Chet are fantastic trash talkers.  They’re awesomely comfortable in the ring. They know their own bodies. They are aggressive, decisive, and highly skilled professional wrestlers. They tell a captivating story of young, brash, sadistic warriors forced to debut against one another, promising to leave only one of them with an unblemished claim to stand on the heel side of the dance floor. Two phenomenal debuts.

There’s something simultaneously beautiful and vilely ugly about Chet when he tries to rip Dolph’s face off.

So I won’t be surprised a bit if I hear that Dolph Danner is pissed as hell to hear fans like me left absolutely infatuated with the beauty and the potential of ridiculously handsome Chet Chastain. I haven’t heard a word from Kayden Keller about his opinions on Dolph. Which sounds to me like the perfect prelude to Heel Bash 2. And just to stir the pot, I’m going to say here and now that unlike Kayden, I have to give the edge to blond bombshell big Biff Farrell as the most impressive ring debut in catalog 108. His hairy thighs with meat draping luxuriously off the bone left me only marginally more infatuated than with devastatingly handsome Chet. But if Chet and Biff need to fight it out face to face to determine which of them is the hottest new commodity at BG East, I’ll keep an open mind.

Chet Chastain will command your respect.