Still Kickin’

I thought I’d better post something before someone prematurely starts writing my obituary.  I’m still adjusting to offline changes in my life, but I’m also happily carving out stolen moments here and there to enjoy watching hot wrestling. My thanks to those who periodically check-in when you notice I’m quiet for a while. It’s always nice to be missed. And a big word of humble gratitude to man-of-my-dreams Scott Williams who not only noticed my absence, not only dropped a comment on the blog asking how I’m doing, but also let me know that he’s thinking about arranging an opportunity for me to see him wrestle in person.

Scott Williams

Fuck, that’ll bring me back from death’s doorstep anytime.  Honestly, if you ever find me in cardiac arrest, skip the CPR and just get Scott Williams on the line letting me know when and where I can get a live show of him making Ty Alexander cry and beg. I guarantee you that’ll be an instant miracle cure.

Scott hurting pretty boys makes life livable.

If you know me, you know I’ve got opinions piling up about the best and brightest new releases that have come out over the past couple of months. While I’m assembling my thoughts and trying to sort through a backlog of reviews, this post is mostly just to let you know I’m still kicking. And in that spirit, here are some hot, decisive kicks that make my heart beat harder.

Dylon Roberts vs. Hawk Rodman – Bulge Battles 1
Flash LaCash vs. Kip Sorell – Demolition 21 (Best Squash of 2016)
Kid Karisma vs. Reese Wells – Ringwars 27
Biff Farrell vs. Chet Chastain – Babyface Brawl 4
Dick Rick vs. Donnie Drake – Pros in Private 11
Rudy Cortez vs. Nick Naughton – Ringwars 14
Lane Hartley vs. Richie Douglas – Lane’s Sinister Side

Lost Time

Thanks for those checking in on me after not posting for a couple of weeks.  Exciting times in the Bard household these days, including an imminent relocation of chez Bard. I’m certain there will be more disruptions in my posting schedule over the next few months as I happily move to greener pastures, but in the mean time, let me make up for lost time and applaud the winners of the 2015 BG East Besties.

Kip Sorell – Best Abs of 2015

In the individual wrestler categories featured winners who were certainly odds on favorites, as well as what I consider a couple of upset surprises.  First, as for surprises, I think Jake Jenkins’ successful defense of his title as Top Babyface is a surprise mostly because JJ simply wasn’t prominently featured in 2015.  Not that I haven’t fucking adored JJ from day 1, but honestly I figured more prolific wrestlers would have been more on the mind of voters.  But JJ proves once again not to underestimate his petite, acrobatic, sensationally hot body or beautiful face.  And Kip Sorell stole Best Abs from Z-Man!? Holy fuck, that blows my mind.  I’d dip all 5 nominees in chocolate sauce and lick them clean, mind you, but Kip’s relatively low 2015 profile paired with Z-Man’s ferocious fan base has to make this a major upset.

Chace LaChance – Best Body of 2015

Not so surprising are tried and true chart toppers like Best Butt award winner once again, Kid Karisma.  It’s hard to argue with perfection, although Ty Alexander pulled out a runner up for the category, and he’s sworn on FB to claim the title in 2016. Also not surprising me at all is Pete Sharp slapping down the competition for Best Bulge with his his monster package. I think that anaconda could be a gimme anytime Pete’s in the mix.  Best Body went to Chace LaChance, which I think is entirely understandable, though I’m glad to see Kid K pulled into 2nd place.

Biff Farrell – Best Debut of 2015(Start lobbying now for a “Best Legs” category next year, and a Monster Quad Match between Biff and Logan Vaughn, please!)

Top Heel for 2015 was Guido Genatto, which is hard to argue with, despite my selecting Joe Mazetti for my vote. Guido’s multiple, overwhelming heel performances in 2015 would be tough to beat by anyone at any time. Top Jobber went to fan favorite Ty Alexander, who was my pick and, I think, a shoe-in for his multiple matches jobbing like the cream of the crop. Debut of the year was a tough call, but I’m pleased that my pick, Biff Farrell, slapped Drake’s pick, Chet Chastain, down like a bitch to claim the title. I still say with a debut year like his, Biff could own this industry in a couple of years if he wanted it.

Guido Genatto and Chet Chastain dug deep to pull out the victory for Best Overall Match of 2015

For the collaborative titles (at least, those requiring more than one wrestler to qualify), there were again a few surprises, at least to me.  The Submissions 10 match featuring Cameron Matthews and Zach Reno came out of nowhere to take the trophy, as far as I’m concerned. I’m seriously shocked Jonny & Stone didn’t get the nod from submission fans. I’m also surprised and a little perplexed that the winner of Best Match Overall for 2015 was Guido and Chet’s Fan Fantasy 3 bout, despite that same match only coming in second place for Best Ring Match.  If one were to assume that voters were consistent in their voting, I think that would have to mean that a good portion of those who voted for Blaine and Cameron’s Barefoot Babyface match as Top Ring match felt that whatever their top mat match pick was was better overall.  Still, I find it intriguing that Best Overall Match was not the best match in its category.


Drake made a big push in our discussion about the nominees for Blaine and Cameron’s Barefoot Babyface match, and I’m not surprised it snagged the Best Ring Match title. Hot, shocking, sensationally sexy stuff. Similarly, I’m unsurprised that Ring Releases 2 pulled out the victory for Sexiest Match, even though my vote went for X-Fights 39 (which still pulled a respectable second place). I’m a little thrilled to see Kid Karisma and Marco Carlow’s Undagear 23 match do so well, winning Best Squash and coming in 2nd for Best Mat Battle.  My vote still went for Lane Hartley and Richie Douglas brutally once sided babyface mauling for Best Squash, but Kid K and Marco definitely deserved some lauds and praises for that match. The Hottest Liplock of 2015 appeared in Ring Releases 2, meaning it was Kayden Keller’s face sucking on Ty Alexander that turns fans on most last year. That Skrapper and Christian Taylor came in second place surprises me a little, but Christian certainly deserves the reigning title as resident Kisser at BG East these days, so a second place finish for him makes sense

Kid Karisma & Marco Carlow’s Undagear 23 – Best Squash of 2015

Congratulations to all the nominees and especially the winners. It was a rich, deep bench to call up in 2015.  The extramural, cross production competition seems to me to be heating up these days (note Cameron throwing shade on FB about the Besties on his way to promoting his own productions these days). But when it comes to full on, unapologetically gay-oriented wrestling with sensationally sexy action and beautiful bodies abounding, BG East remained the most prolific, diverse, and entertaining, by my estimation. I keep waiting for Can-Am to really reinvest in buying back their stake of the explicitly gay wrestling scene (though they definitely maintain a major claim on the wrestling-foreplay porn narrative), and/or some new production to seriously compete with BG East for the unapologetic eye to gay pro wrestling fans. But as of the close of 2015, I think that market is unquestionably dominated by BG East. It was definitely a great year for a great company and a fantastic battalion of beautiful wrestlers.

And the Nominees Are…

As anticipated, BG East has posted their poll for the Bestie awards, recognizing the fan favorites for their wrestlers and matches featured in 2015. Drake and I did our pre-scout report last week, but now that we have the actual nominees in hand, I wanted to do a quick comparison in the interest of aiding voters in making the best choices. I’ll just stick to the individual categories because you only have until midnight this Friday to submit your votes.  First up, lets take a look at the faces of the nominees for Top Babyface.

Biff Farrell (my pick)
Richie Douglas
Chet Chastain (Drake’s pick)
Jake Jenkins – Defending Top Babyface 3 years in a row!
Pete Sharp

Next up, let’s compare the awesome abs nominated for Best Abs of 2015.

Lon Dumont (my pick)
Cal Bennett
Chet Chastain
Pete Sharp
Z-Man (Defending Best Abs of 2014)
Kip Sorell

I’m not the first person to note that a prominent 2-time champion of the Best Abs Bestie was not nominated this year, despite appearing on the mats in 2015 for BG East. I don’t know if the academy intentionally snubbed Eli Black, or if there was a calculated judgment that Eli’s killer abs were truly out distanced by the 6 lovely, lean hunks above.  In any case, just a look at the abs that are not in contention this year…

Eli Black – shut out of the nominations for 2015 Best Abs

I’ll take a look at the field for Best Body and Best Bulge tomorrow…

Chocolat au Lait 

Although I consider professional wrestling as my gateway drug, hooking me early and setting me up for a lifetime of getting turned on by wrestling, I don’t follow mainstream straight up pro much at all anymore. However, even I know that there’s a little something special under the tree for Indy pro wrestling fans who also enjoy the homoerotic side of the scene. BG East’s new release Gut Bash 11 features 2015 standout indy pro turned homoerotic heartthrob, Chet Chastain, climbing into the ring with his honest to god Indy pro tag team partner, wrestling for BGE as Brice “Big Mamma” Moore.


“You have shitty abs,” Brice Moore snarls at his former tag team partner.
The pretty quotient spikes dramatically, with both Chet and Brice being dazzlingly beautiful. So many of the homoerotic wrestlers who come by way of the mainstream scene are cut from the harsh, rough edged, burly badass side things.  I mean, it’s absolutely true that I find the like of Guido Genatto, Flash LaCash, and Lane Hartley infinitely fuckable, but I wouldn’t put them in the pretty pile. Sexy as fuck, yes. Pretty, no. The leading men from the dazzlingly beautiful corner of the homoerotic wrestling stable seem more likely to find their way to one of our rings by way of being go go boys, dancers, fitness competitors or underwear models. But despite living in the meat grinder of the Indy pro circuit, Chet and Brice are nothing if not dazzlingly beautiful, pin-up-beefcake.


Chet Chastain is centerfold-ready.
They also show up with some palpable chemistry that I have to imagine comes only with spending thousands of hours together working out, practicing, traveling and wrestling out of the same corner night after night. In Gut Bash 11, the two accomplished pretty boys are on the outs, with sibling rivalry gone horribly wrong. There’s apparently an ongoing debate between them regarding which of them earns the loudest cheers, which hot body possesses the most fanatical followers, which member of the sexy combo carries more than his fair share of the burden of making them a brilliant, successful pro wrestling tag team.


Abs take a beating
As you might imagine, kicking off a product called “Gut Bash” means that, specifically, Chet and Brice are focusing on whose ripped abs are most awesome.  Personally, I think settling this question would really require a blogger and a bottle of baby oil to be on hand, but Chet and Brice do an admirable job of taunting, testing, and tenderizing each other with a level of heat that only lover, brothers, or tag team champs could possibly generate.


Fuck, yes, do it Big Mamma!!!
There’s something totally over the top about this match. As someone who is always looking for compelling ring personalitities, my cup runneth over as Chet and Brice snarl and snap, monologue and improvise non-stop. I have no idea where Brice came up with calling himself “Big Mamma.” It’s apropos of nothing I can see. Chet appears genuinely taken aback by it. But Brice owns it, lives it, makes me find myself astonishingly muttering the words, “fuck, yes, do it Big Mamma” at the screen, which is a phrase this Kinsey 6 has never said, thought, or even considered in my life. 


“Whose house is it!?!”
The wrestling is similarly over the top. A frustrated Chet literally bites the gorgeously bulging abdominals of his mouthwateringly sexy tag team partner. The spirit of the match is highly competive, momentum teetering back and forth, but these boys really shine in those moments when one stud is firmly in control. There’s a recurring theme of the taunting coach, barking and intimidating his opponent into obediently doing sit-ups in the middle of the ring to “get those shitty abs into shape.” “Scream my name!” Brice commands when he’s got his hands wrapped around Chet’s throat. “Whose house is it!?!” he demands. “Big…. Mamma’s house!” Chet screeches in a panic.


“How about I shove your balls into your abs?!”
I hear that crotch claws may be breaking into mainstream pro, but I have to think that Chet and Brice  haven’t had their hands on each other’s junk this much ever before. Brice grabs momentum (aka, Chet’s cock) with vicious enthusiasm, before grabbing the back of Chet’s head in hand and shoving his partner’s coverboy face into his own bulging package.  Chet battles back to follow his partner into the dark side of homoerotic pro wrestling villainy. “You want to grab my dick, Big Mamma?  You want to put your dick in my face, Big Mamma!?” He stomps his boot heel viciously into Brice’s big bulge with abandon, grabbing him by the ankles and driving the sole of his boot brutally into his partner’s balls. “How about I shove your balls into your abs of steel?”


Brice shines in the saddle
Watch the match if you want to relieve the suspense of finding out whose abs earn bragging rights when all is said and done. As for me, it’s the other, implied contest that I’m ready to settle here and now. Which of these dazzlingly beautiful pro pretty boys own my most heart pounding adoration? When push comes to shove, if forced to decide which luscious hunk makes me cheer loudest, sweat hardest, and ache to see more of most, I’ll kick Chet’s munchable ass right out of bed to make room for the incredibly classic physique of Brice.


Brice is an instant classic.
The last time a BG East debut captivated me quite as completely as Big Mamma, I was beginning a perpetual crush as president of the Lon Dumont fan club (just try to wrestle that title off my hands!).  Brice is larger than life, with an aggressive, confident, cocky personality that can barely be squeezed inside the confines of a wrestling ring, much less manage to share it with anyone else. And speaking of squeezing into tight confines, that body!!! Holy fuck. Massive, broad, boulder shoulders, meaty pecs, ripped abs, TINY waist blossoming into an unbelievably gorgeous muscle ass, and beautifully, powerful legs… again I say, holy fuck, this man is stunning. And that face. Roaring and in charge, adrenaline pumping out his pores as he snarls and snaps, Brice has the unmistakable look of a potential header liner of a Fantasyman release in 2016.


Feel those abs, partner!
Not that I’m not infatuated with Chet, mind you.  But if these two egos absolutely required me to pick sides, and essentially, that is the real competition in Gut Bash 11, I’ll smack Chet’s fine, fine ass and send him packing for a full contact meet and greet with every beautiful inch of Brice “Big Mamma” Moore.


Team Brice “Big Mamma” Moore
How about you? Team Chet or team Brice?  And who do we have to blow to get to see these boys bring their over the top Indy pro tag team cred and barely maintained detente to a homoerotic tag team match? Come on, 2016. Let’s see some dreams come true.

More than Skin Deep

Of the many things I’ve learned about sophomore heel rising Kayden Keller, he’s demonstrated repeatedly that he has phenomenal taste in wrestlers. Like me, Kayden was impressed with the blue-eyed, blond powerhouse rookie debut of big Biff Farrell.  But in Kayden’s opinion, even gorgeous Biff’s earth shaking entry into homoerotic wrestling takes a back seat to another debut in BG East’s catalog 108.

Chet Chastain – 5’10, 185 lbs

Stunningly handsome, silky smooth Chet Chastain is Kayden’s pick for hottest new hunk mixing it up in the BG East ring. It’s not hard to see why. Damn, this stud is dazzlingly pretty! And making his debut in BG East’s newest genre of heel on heel brutality, clearly tasty Chet arrives on the scene already minted as a fresh, promising heel. Built like that? A face like that? And down and dirty vile disdain for the dignity of his opponents?! Is it hot in here, or is it just Chet Chastain?

It’s Chet Chastain.

If there’s anyone who should be fucking furious right about now, it’s Chet’s Heel Bash 1 opponent, fellow rookie heel Dolph Danner. Dolph is a hot, intimidating, remarkably powerful newbie. He’s instantly one of the fiercest bad asses in contention. He’s lean, long, and illustrated. On another day, I have to imagine I (and perhaps Kayden) would be musing about how decisively dastardly Dolph knocked my socks off. But timing is everything.

“3rd Fucking Place!?”

Rookie on rookie action is a rare treat that I love. As Chet and Dolph smirk and strut, sizing each other up and immediately waging psychological warfare before laying a hand on each other, I’m fully engaged in anticipation of all of this untested promise. They both have ice in their veins.  They both promise to fuck the other up, and there’s something about the delivery that convinces me that they’ve fucked up more than their fair share of opponents in the past.  These guys clearly have arrived with luggage full of ring experience, and they quickly sell a three dimensional narrative.

Dolph likes something pretty trapped between his thighs. And speaking of between his thighs, Chet spends 1/3 of this match spread eagled in one way or another!

The action is extremely hard hitting and high impact. Early on, I’m expecting that Chet may be about to have the pretty smacked right off that beautiful face.  Dolph just has the look of a beast emerging from the shadows of a back alley, and Chet is just so fucking pretty! Have I mentioned that Chet is pretty?  Chet is pretty.  And Dolph looks like he enjoys making ugly happen.

Rub ever so slightly, and you’ll find a dark, vicious heel under all of that distractingly dazzling pretty on Chet!

But Chet is no babyface jobber, by any stretch of the imagination. He goes toe to toe with his taller opponent, and no shit, Chet is confident, calculating, and laser focused.  There’s this intensity that descends like a cloud over his handsome features when you can see a deep down raging sadist shine through all of that dazzling beauty. He likes to hurt people.  He fucking loves it.  There’s a lustfulness about his brutality, an aching desire in the way he wrenches Dolph’s joints in the wrong direction, that’s entrancing to watch.

Chet’s promise as a heel could be seriously jeopardized by how insanely sexy he looks trapped in the ropes.

If there’s one potentially catastrophic roadblock in the way of Chet’s ascendency in the ranks of homoerotic wrestling heels, it’s that he looks so insanely hot suffering. He looks genuinely shocked when dastardly Dolph starts to manhandle him. Just finding himself overpowered and at his opponent’s mercy appears to be so unfamiliar to this ripped, beautiful athlete that his eyes grow wide as he desperately tamps down moments of panic.  That silky smooth, golden hued, classically proportioned body of his rises to the level of high art when he’s trapped in the ropes, hanging helpless, or slowly morphing from flexed muscle god to soft, slack stud on the brink of unconsciousness. This hunk has a phenomenal range, and if anything, I think the homoerotic wrestling world struggles most with recruiting and holding tight to highly skilled wrestlers who can sell suffering and inspire a thousand erotic fantasies while doing it. I’m always partial to a gorgeously muscled babyface heel, mind you. But seeing Chet writhe and wriggle on the line, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a mass uprising of fans pleading to see him get taken down again and again and again.

Look this up in the dictionary under “mouth watering!”

Both Dolph and Chet are fantastic trash talkers.  They’re awesomely comfortable in the ring. They know their own bodies. They are aggressive, decisive, and highly skilled professional wrestlers. They tell a captivating story of young, brash, sadistic warriors forced to debut against one another, promising to leave only one of them with an unblemished claim to stand on the heel side of the dance floor. Two phenomenal debuts.

There’s something simultaneously beautiful and vilely ugly about Chet when he tries to rip Dolph’s face off.

So I won’t be surprised a bit if I hear that Dolph Danner is pissed as hell to hear fans like me left absolutely infatuated with the beauty and the potential of ridiculously handsome Chet Chastain. I haven’t heard a word from Kayden Keller about his opinions on Dolph. Which sounds to me like the perfect prelude to Heel Bash 2. And just to stir the pot, I’m going to say here and now that unlike Kayden, I have to give the edge to blond bombshell big Biff Farrell as the most impressive ring debut in catalog 108. His hairy thighs with meat draping luxuriously off the bone left me only marginally more infatuated than with devastatingly handsome Chet. But if Chet and Biff need to fight it out face to face to determine which of them is the hottest new commodity at BG East, I’ll keep an open mind.

Chet Chastain will command your respect.