Although I consider professional wrestling as my gateway drug, hooking me early and setting me up for a lifetime of getting turned on by wrestling, I don’t follow mainstream straight up pro much at all anymore. However, even I know that there’s a little something special under the tree for Indy pro wrestling fans who also enjoy the homoerotic side of the scene. BG East’s new release Gut Bash 11 features 2015 standout indy pro turned homoerotic heartthrob, Chet Chastain, climbing into the ring with his honest to god Indy pro tag team partner, wrestling for BGE as Brice “Big Mamma” Moore.
The pretty quotient spikes dramatically, with both Chet and Brice being dazzlingly beautiful. So many of the homoerotic wrestlers who come by way of the mainstream scene are cut from the harsh, rough edged, burly badass side things. I mean, it’s absolutely true that I find the like of Guido Genatto, Flash LaCash, and Lane Hartley infinitely fuckable, but I wouldn’t put them in the pretty pile. Sexy as fuck, yes. Pretty, no. The leading men from the dazzlingly beautiful corner of the homoerotic wrestling stable seem more likely to find their way to one of our rings by way of being go go boys, dancers, fitness competitors or underwear models. But despite living in the meat grinder of the Indy pro circuit, Chet and Brice are nothing if not dazzlingly beautiful, pin-up-beefcake.
They also show up with some palpable chemistry that I have to imagine comes only with spending thousands of hours together working out, practicing, traveling and wrestling out of the same corner night after night. In Gut Bash 11, the two accomplished pretty boys are on the outs, with sibling rivalry gone horribly wrong. There’s apparently an ongoing debate between them regarding which of them earns the loudest cheers, which hot body possesses the most fanatical followers, which member of the sexy combo carries more than his fair share of the burden of making them a brilliant, successful pro wrestling tag team.
As you might imagine, kicking off a product called “Gut Bash” means that, specifically, Chet and Brice are focusing on whose ripped abs are most awesome. Personally, I think settling this question would really require a blogger and a bottle of baby oil to be on hand, but Chet and Brice do an admirable job of taunting, testing, and tenderizing each other with a level of heat that only lover, brothers, or tag team champs could possibly generate.
There’s something totally over the top about this match. As someone who is always looking for compelling ring personalitities, my cup runneth over as Chet and Brice snarl and snap, monologue and improvise non-stop. I have no idea where Brice came up with calling himself “Big Mamma.” It’s apropos of nothing I can see. Chet appears genuinely taken aback by it. But Brice owns it, lives it, makes me find myself astonishingly muttering the words, “fuck, yes, do it Big Mamma” at the screen, which is a phrase this Kinsey 6 has never said, thought, or even considered in my life.
The wrestling is similarly over the top. A frustrated Chet literally bites the gorgeously bulging abdominals of his mouthwateringly sexy tag team partner. The spirit of the match is highly competive, momentum teetering back and forth, but these boys really shine in those moments when one stud is firmly in control. There’s a recurring theme of the taunting coach, barking and intimidating his opponent into obediently doing sit-ups in the middle of the ring to “get those shitty abs into shape.” “Scream my name!” Brice commands when he’s got his hands wrapped around Chet’s throat. “Whose house is it!?!” he demands. “Big…. Mamma’s house!” Chet screeches in a panic.
I hear that crotch claws may be breaking into mainstream pro, but I have to think that Chet and Brice haven’t had their hands on each other’s junk this much ever before. Brice grabs momentum (aka, Chet’s cock) with vicious enthusiasm, before grabbing the back of Chet’s head in hand and shoving his partner’s coverboy face into his own bulging package. Chet battles back to follow his partner into the dark side of homoerotic pro wrestling villainy. “You want to grab my dick, Big Mamma? You want to put your dick in my face, Big Mamma!?” He stomps his boot heel viciously into Brice’s big bulge with abandon, grabbing him by the ankles and driving the sole of his boot brutally into his partner’s balls. “How about I shove your balls into your abs of steel?”
Watch the match if you want to relieve the suspense of finding out whose abs earn bragging rights when all is said and done. As for me, it’s the other, implied contest that I’m ready to settle here and now. Which of these dazzlingly beautiful pro pretty boys own my most heart pounding adoration? When push comes to shove, if forced to decide which luscious hunk makes me cheer loudest, sweat hardest, and ache to see more of most, I’ll kick Chet’s munchable ass right out of bed to make room for the incredibly classic physique of Brice.
The last time a BG East debut captivated me quite as completely as Big Mamma, I was beginning a perpetual crush as president of the Lon Dumont fan club (just try to wrestle that title off my hands!). Brice is larger than life, with an aggressive, confident, cocky personality that can barely be squeezed inside the confines of a wrestling ring, much less manage to share it with anyone else. And speaking of squeezing into tight confines, that body!!! Holy fuck. Massive, broad, boulder shoulders, meaty pecs, ripped abs, TINY waist blossoming into an unbelievably gorgeous muscle ass, and beautifully, powerful legs… again I say, holy fuck, this man is stunning. And that face. Roaring and in charge, adrenaline pumping out his pores as he snarls and snaps, Brice has the unmistakable look of a potential header liner of a Fantasyman release in 2016.
Not that I’m not infatuated with Chet, mind you. But if these two egos absolutely required me to pick sides, and essentially, that is the real competition in Gut Bash 11, I’ll smack Chet’s fine, fine ass and send him packing for a full contact meet and greet with every beautiful inch of Brice “Big Mamma” Moore.
How about you? Team Chet or team Brice? And who do we have to blow to get to see these boys bring their over the top Indy pro tag team cred and barely maintained detente to a homoerotic tag team match? Come on, 2016. Let’s see some dreams come true.