Poser Pounding

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Van Skyler debuts in the ring.

Clearly, I was pretty damn enamored with BG East’s recent release of Gut Bash 11.  I’ve fawned over the BG East debut of Chet Chastain’s IRL tag team partner, Brice “Big Mamma” Moore. I loved Lon Dumont’s rookie wrecking of adorable Carlos Ortega so much that it put Lon back on top of my rankings of favorite homoerotic wrestlers.  And now I need to complete the trifecta with a loving treatment of the third match, starring Van Skyler’s ass making it’s pro ring debut.

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That ass!

Yep, the rest of him is in this match as well, and there’s so much sizzling hot sexiness of every square inch of Van. His heavily lidded bedroom eyes and lush, thick lips… his stunning arms, torso, and legs… starring in his sophomore match, Van is a star in the making, as far as I’m concerned. He’s dizzyingly pretty, paired with magnificent muscle quality and quantity. Everything about him adds up to HUGE potential in this business.

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We are indebted to you, Flash LaCash.

But… That……….. ASS!  When Flash LaCash peels Van’s sweat soaked body off the mat by the back of his trunks, giving the rookie a tight, wet wedgie, I’m convinced that this kid could own this industry. And making me love him just that much more: he doesn’t bother trying to dislodge his trunks from his crack. Let that glute roam free range, Van.  You are a nascent homoerotic wrestling god.

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Flash LaCash is pretty. There, I said it.

I was lukewarm on Flash the first couple of times I saw him, but he’s done significantly more than grow on me in the mean time. I waffled back and forth on his 70’s-forward stash, but fuck me if the full beard he’s sporting in GB11 doesn’t pound the lumbersexual button I had no idea I possessed.  Flash is that provocative combination of card carrying, devastatingly dangerous badass attached to a heart meltingly handsome, dare I say, beautiful face. Those eyes, staring deep into my soul with a mischievous twinkle, could get me to do all sorts of boundary crossing. I suspect most fans aren’t as wooed as I am by Flash’s cred as a babyface, but it wouldn’t be the first time I zig when the rest of you zag.

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Unleash the ass!

I’d warn you that I’m about to deliver a spoiler, but is there anyone on the planet with eyes to see these two side by side and still be surprised that Flash squashes the stuffing out of Van? It’s the classic tale of the pretty boy with so many abundant assets lovingly crafted in the gym, getting pulverized by a pro who hates pretty posers. Of the 3 matches in this collection, this is truest to the gut bash format. Determined to terrorize the poser right out of the ring for good (the homoerotic wrestling gods forbid!), Flash is brutal and relentless. His genuine contempt for gym bunnies who think two peaked biceps and a 28″ waist are sufficient to earn you a shot in the wrestling ring inspires a muscle bashing focused almost exclusively on the rook’s coverboy abs.

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Van sucks on it (his own sweat-soaked sweat sock, that is).

Van takes the beating with equal parts grit and suffering such that I’m hopeful for the pin-up boy’s future in the business.  He sells it, and in the hands of such a totally dominating pro heel, his grade A beef is served up juicy and rare.

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What now, poser?!

So much sweat. So much muscle. Such a fabulous contrast of experience, look, style, and appeal. I’d love to rip a plaid flannel shirt off Flash and rub baby oil all over every bulging inch as I stare, enthralled, into his riveting eyes. But I’m just saying that Van Skyler’s ass needs it’s own Wrestler Spotlight. I also think it needs a blogger sitting ringside, because I am very, very eager to get to see this dazzlingly beautiful boy shake off the freshman jitters and shock and awe some more appreciative opponents with that world class moneymaker of his.

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Van is in position to be a major player in 2016. Please.

One thought on “Poser Pounding

  1. Man, for lovers of gut punishment this match is a must see. Great heel performance from Flash as usual, but I was really impressed by the selling done by Van. I love the grunts and groans and pleas that come with a convincing squash. Extra points to Van for not breaking the flow of the match by trying to fix the trunks wedged up his ass for the later half of the match. It always kills the believability when a wrestler is preoccupied with fixing his trunks in a match where he’s supposedly out of it. You’d think that effort could be spent trying to win instead. I really to hope so see more of both of these guys in 2016.

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