In Other Words

I’ve been slacking off on reading the other words of insight, wisdom and confession from the homoerotic wrestling blogosphere. I find this a dangerous state of affairs, as I can be lulled to complacency in my own echo chamber if I don’t partake of the vital conversations of others with their eyes, ears, and often their bodies on the scene. So here’s a quick round-up of what others are musing on when it comes the topic you and I enjoy most.

In the genre of wrestlers blogging…

cam

CameronWrestler Cameron Matthews posted yesterday a classified ad for a pair of Braden Charron’s posing trunks. Cameron has been booking custom videos and private matches for several hot wrestling hunks like Braden, and clearly he’s also happy to pass along the word that you can have the banana hammock that’s cradled the package where your face wants to be. Check out the pics and email Cameron if you want to put a bid in on, inch for inch, one of the most provocative pieces of cloth on the planet.

jonny

Jonny Firestorm – Don’t be deceived by the lack of updates on Jonny Firestorm’s splash page, because he updated his page this morning to tell you where he doesn’t care who else wins anything in BG East’s year end polls, because even if someone beats him in votes, he’ll simply “let him enjoy his 15 minutes of fame before I print out the results page, shove it down his throat and bash his balls until he cries out, ‘I’m Jonny’s bitch.”  So in a hypothetical world in which Jonny isn’t in the running, he blogs about who he believes should have won each of the categories. He also has some sweet shots of him off hours hanging with other wrestling hunks.

monacoMonaco Off the Mats – Ben Monaco last Sunday shared his new years resolutions (and a hot selfie showing off that always sexy bod and those growing more and more defined abs). These include more wrestling (and more savoring it it along the way in blog form). He also resolves to build more muscle, lose fat, and look good (resolution achieved on that third one already). Check out his invitation for you to help him on his third resolution.

In the genre of bloggers on the eroticism of wrestling…

shirtless

Beefcakes of Wrestling – Bruno at Beefcakes is prolific in posting and has an incredible eye for pro wrestling beef.  This week was no exception, posting on Sunday about the Lean Shah v Warren Brady match, Monday posting a collage of Beefcakes in action, Tuesday on Steven Walters, Wednesday including pics from Ring of Honor’s Final Battle 2013, and yesterday asking the rhetorical question that requires no answer: which would you rather look at, a wrestling hunk in shirts or down to his skin?

capurso

Inner Jobber – SP has his favorites, so no wonder he started the week with a Sunday/Monday double post study on Sean Stasiak. On Tuesday SP introduced us to every naked inch of a bodybuilder who’d have made a stunning wrestler, Craig Carpuso. On Wesdnesday, SP wrote an open letter to BG East, asking for a download over the opening credit music to their videos (I agree, I’ve been trained to get turned on by it), along with a special request. On Thursday he mused on the beauty that is Aaron Eckhart (yum!). Then on Friday he reported in pictures on the latest from WWE

hiro

Ringside at Skull Island – Joe consistently posts high quality and quantity commentary on the hottest wrestling action across multiple platforms. On Tuesday he posted a review of Eli Black’s magnificent work taking down a double team at UCW. On Wednesday he covered the coverage of a Japanese wrestling match introducing me to a new man of my dreams, Hiroshi Yamato (check out those pics! Tom Zenk’s Japanese twin!). Thursday, he reports on a straight up pro match from Terre Haute, and Friday muses on the man of my dreams I’ve known about a long time, ripped genetic freak, insanely sexy Scot Prince Devitt. Finally, this morning, Joe posts on a classic pro wrestling hunk from the 80s, Steve O. As always, Joe brings a beautiful mix of text and graphics to get the point across (the point being wrestling is sexy as hell, of course).

terry

Wrestling Arsenal – WA is also extremely prolific, insightful, and just plain hilarious. On Sunday he posted his weekly Suffering Sunday montage.  Monday was for pro wrestlers flexing their tongue muscles. Tuesday was all about Christ Dickinson (and his trunk strings). On Wednesday, he provided nearly minute by minute coverage of a match starring one of my Brit crushes, Terry Frazier. Thursday was all about Boston crabs through the ages, and Friday was a new installment on his series on Doughboys. Finally this morning he posted on a new-to-me masked wrestler who instantly turns me on, The Romantic Touch.

And just reporting on some blogs that haven’t been updated in a while, but I’m keeping my eye on…

Drake Marcos: The Cheshire Cat of Homoerotic Wrestling – Drake’s last post was a bid for votes late last month in the BG East poll.  I was very glad to see his Custom Combat with Jonny come out on top as best squash of the year.

That Ginger Guy – Reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler around these parts hasn’t updated his blog since September 5, which is a shame, because I hang on his every word and the promise of more candid photos of his beauty.

Welcome to Thunderdome – Cage Thunder’s most recent post was from December 13, in which he lauds the arrival of BG East’s newest massive, vicious pro wrestling heel rising, Lane Hartley.

Best of 2013

I’m a bad gay, I realize, but I hate awards shows. I like seeing who won awards the next day, mind you, but I have no patience for the pretensions of red carpets and tearful speeches and what passes for entertaining song and dance numbers. That said, I’d be glued to my television if BG East ever decided to produce an awards show to unveil their year-end viewer’s choice poll winners… particularly if the song and dance numbers were an occasional tuxedo rip ‘n’ strip match center stage. Short of that, I am enjoying pouring over the just announced winners of the BG East Best Of 2013s, comparing where I run with the pack and where I’m clearly a lone wolf.

kip
Scorching hot Kip Sorell knows how to make an entrance as 2013’s Debut of the Year.

Running with the pack, I voted with the majority in selecting Kip Sorell as debut of the year. That said, I would like to think that Lane Hartley might be severely pissed to be passed over, requiring a severe and brutal beating of epically pretty Kip. Fingers crossed…

eli
Eli Black’s abs are outstanding, earning him most votes for Best Abs of 2013.

Best abs to Eli Black for me and you for the second year in a row.  Eli is an anatomy chart, so it’s hard not to see what we’re all looking at.  That said, I think this category is one of the most competitive, and Eli’s abs surely have earned a big, bright target painted on them by the many worthy also-rans.

kk
Here’s KL awarding the 2012 prize to KK’s ass. Now 2 years running, Kid Karisma’s epic ass takes top prize in 2013.

Two years running, I and the majority have inescapably concluded that Kid Karisma’s ass is simply the best in the business.  That world class ass is just one of the top reasons that Kid K wrestled the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler away from Lon Dumont late in 2013. Last year, runner-up Cameron Matthews complained bitterly about being passed over for this one. In that proposed awards show in the future, I believe it would be only fair to see all of the finalists asses displayed, immediately prior to the winner’s announcement, followed closely by a bareassed beatdown in a pit of oil.

eli2
Eli and Cameron’s Mat Hunks 9 match was outstanding!

I and the majority agreed that the best mat battle (by far, in my estimation) was Cameron’s incredibly sexy and intense tussle with Eli in Mat Hunks 9. Wowza! The chemistry between these two totally took me by surprise, and I believe both of these amazing studs brought out the very best in one another. Simply incredible match!

jonny
Jonny Firestorm and Drake Marcos obliterated the competition for Best Squash as Jonny obliterated Drake in Custom Combat.

I personally felt that there was no real competition for Best Squash. Whether the voting was as much a squash as Custom Combat, I don’t know, but one way or another, the majority of voters agreed with me in picking Jonny’s infinite variations on a squashing theme all over sweetly suffering Drake Marcos.

Miss any of these?  Shame on you. Now is your chance to redeem yourself, though, because BG East is offering the products of all of the winning matches at a 25% discount for the remainder of this month. I’ll comment later on where my tastes diverged with the herd, but my ballot ran about 33% with winners in this year’s polling.  All these hunks are over the top winners in my book, and I hope that accolades and praise go straight to their heads, requiring extensive drama and punishment to knock them back down to size.

Fashion Friday

Thanks to a couple of readers, we have some more cutting edge fashion decisions yet to make when it comes to homoerotic wrestling gear. Homoerotic wrestling “success” operates on so many levels, of course. There’s the ostensible “winner” who has either scored the most falls or, at the very least, is the last man standing. There’s the most accomplished wrestling sell, where regardless of who is has his hand raised in the end, either wrestler may have been most adept at telling the most convincing story of domination or submission, brutality dished out or suffering embodied. And of course there’s always the gay man’s fallback competition: who’s got the hottest body. But perhaps winner for the most superficial and secondary contest in any homoerotic wrestling competition is “who wore it best?”.

This week’s poll comes to us via the sharp eye for fashion from neverland’s most frequent guest blogger, Alex. Alex points out that three hot and popular wrestlers all wore the same white trunks with blue trim while wrestling for BG East. Dynamo Cameron Matthews worked this gear like the pro he is in Tag Team Torture 9. Vinny Trevino was a vision of muscled beauty in the same trunks in Demolition 6. And incredibly popular babyface hero Justin Pierce sported the same fashion in Demolition 9. I’ll presume to speak for the entire world of homoerotic wrestling fanatics when I say that each of them rocked these trunks. But I leave it up to you to determine who wore it best. Check out the options and then vote below.

fashioncam
Cameron Matthews hardly needs back up when it comes to making these trunks work like a champ in Tag Team Torture 9.
fashionvinny
Vinny Trevino is the epitome of a muscle hunk wrestler in Demolition 6, but of the options, did he wear these trunks best?
fashionjustin
Few homoerotic wrestlers ever made the splash that achingly pretty Justin Pierce made, but in Demolition 9, did he wear this particular gear choice best?

A Case for a Face

Red-white-and-blue junior Captain Americas as pretty, pumped, and competitive as babyfaces can be: Jake Jenkins and Austin Cooper
All in the same day a couple of days ago, SP at Inner Jobber posted a by-the-numbers “how to be a fantasy wrestling jobber (like Curtis Thompson)” post, and Joe at Ringside at Skull Island posted a “you might be a heel if…” list of distinguishing characteristics of the heel set, and I briefly mentioned my guilty pleasure of watching a babyface hero defeat an evil doer in the ring.  I think there’s less said than should be about professional wrestlers who fall neither into the doomed to be exploited category or the devious exploiters category.  Since SP and Joe did such thoughtful treatments of jobbers and heels, I decided to try to do a little more justice on behalf of that oft-maligned class of homoerotic wrestlers: the face.
I’ve got a longstanding crush on handsome hero Mitch Colby.

I say oft-maligned because I think to be compelled to pull for the handsome hero is frequently portrayed as gullible.  To boost for the “good guy,” the hard worker, the play-by-the rules, sincere competitor is frequently equated with naiveté.  Guys into the conquering and suffering of a pretty boy may ache for their jobbers, and guys into domination and humiliation dished out by a villain will pull for their heels.  I have a long, long record of working up a head of steam for plenty of jobbers and plenty of heels.  But call me gullible and naive, because (not always, but definitely sometimes) nothing will crank on my chain as convincingly as an all-in babyface (or just “face”) beauty using brains and brawn to overcome treachery and deceit.

Gorgeous face Denny Cartier is all skill, stamina, and strength on the mat.

I venture into this territory with eyes open.  I’ve seen the equivalent of doctoral dissertations written on parsing out opinions about what and who qualifies to be classified as a babyface wrestler.  I’d bet money someone will let me know where I got it wrong by the time I finish this post.  And I love that about us.  We’re the aroused, gorgeous gay nerds of professional wrestling.  We care way too much, leading us to quibble and at times even squabble about what is, let’s face it, minutiae and trivia.  We openly defy orthodoxies on one hand (e.g., celebrating the fierce, butch, dangerously strong and masculine gay man), while on the other hand bitterly defend other orthodoxies (e.g., heaping contempt on the commenter who describes your favorite jobber as a face, or vice versa).  Despite the apparent perception of others that I consider myself an expert, I offer this as nothing more than my personal system for classifying that distinctive breed of wrestler-for-pay who is not the villain, and he’s not the wrestler who seems eternally destined to lose beautifully.  But rather, he’s the heroic athlete determined to defeat his opponents with skill, stamina, and strength, and sometimes, he even succeeds.

Fiercely pretty babyface tagteam Zack Coleman and Brian Barnes.
Like babies themselves, I can’t think of anyone ugly who I’d classify as a babyface wrestler.  Granted, “ugly” is entirely subjective, but inclusion criteria for babyface wrestlers (as far as I’m concerned), include a strong, chiseled chin, gorgeous, piercing (often blue) eyes, and a gym-toned body with beautiful skin.  The parameters are flexible to accommodate an assortment of tastes (eye of the beholder and all), but something obviously beautiful seems a prerequisite.  A babyface seems to, by definition, be attractive in a conventional sense.  It’s not like particularly homoerotic wrestling is well-populated with men who fail to meet basic standards of physical attractiveness, but those especially handsome Clark Kent-esque boys tend to get checks in my personal tally of elements that add up to the essential ingredients of a compelling face.  Necessary but not sufficient criteria to be a babyface, it seems to me, is eye-catching beauty.  
Alexi Adamov strives valiantly to honestly overcome notorious Aryx Quinn’s dirty tricks.
Further inclusion criteria for me include that babyface wrestlers tend to stick to the straight and narrow when faced with (as they frequently are) an underhanded, dirty, no-good heel.  Here’s where it comes in handy to have powerful muscles and innate athleticism (again, necessary but not sufficient characteristics of faces – plenty of heels and jobbers have beautiful muscles and obvious athleticism).  When faced with cheating and trickery, the Pearl Harbor before the bell rings, the hair pull, the crotch blow, the foreign object, the refusal to break a hold when the action hits the ropes, the babyface hero grimaces, shakes his head (“kids these days”) and reinvests his faith in his thousands of hours of gym time and, hopefully, substantive experience and wrestling skills.  An occasional venture into a retributive low blow not-withstanding (particularly in homoerotic wrestling), the face places his confidence in the superiority of his physique, his mental preparation, his wrestling prowess, and the sincerity of his heart.  In a post-modern world, faces can get away with a lot more rule bending and still be objects of heroic adoration, of course.  They can most definitely lose their temper, open a can of unnecessarily rough whoop-ass, ravage an opponent momentarily in a rage.  But in the morality tales of homoerotic wrestling, if I see a handsome stud tend toward the exercise of self-restraint and appear to intentionally decline to take shortcuts, I check off another box in the face checklist.

Who’s got whom? Babyface hearthrob Brad Rochelle battles babyface heartthrob Jeff Phoenix

That’s not to say a babyface can only be seen in matches against heels, of course.  He can most definitely wrestle another babyface or a jobber, by all means.  Sometimes, he may be less easily identified in those settings, but nevertheless he perseveres in the certainty that he is the “better man” which will lead to his victory (as opposed to the heel who sees his victory, by whatever means, as the evidence that he’s the better man).  A babyface v babyface battle can be a particularly compelling thing of beauty.  Two hard, hardworking studs who’ve been convinced by accolades and past victories that they are destined to succeed can generate intensely satisfying and homoerotically charged wrestling entertainment.  The allure of the thrill of competition (which I argue is an essential element of what turns me on about the drama of homoerotic wrestling) can be most poignant and compelling for me when it’s face v face, beauty v beauty, power v power.  These are matches in which tit-for-tat wrestling often makes me smile, as athletes play a game of HORSE, showing off their skills and strength in a one-upsmanship format.  Like knights in armor of old, they charge upright into one another with a typically unspoken assumption that purity of heart will add weight to the scales of justice, and the outcome is less about the delectable doings inside the ropes as it is about who wanted it more as demonstrated by preparation, training, and hard work before they entered the ring.

Classic babyface Christopher Bruce shocks and awes perennially supine Rio Garza

I also like the drama of a babyface v jobber match, though again, I think this can confuse folks who equate a serious mauling as the exclusive domain of a heel.  By my way of thinking, a babyface is generally convinced in the superiority of his training, conditioning, and strength, so there’s most definitely still a story to tell when he encounters a pretty slice of heaven with a track record for getting crushed and humiliated.  He wrestles because he has faith in the premise that if he is the better man, he will win.  Dangling a jobber in front of his face, particularly a tasty, pretty, unknowingly vulnerable jobber, merely offers him the opportunity to collect evidence to confirm what he already knew: all of his hard work destines him to conquer an unworthy opponent.  A jobber’s job is that much more crucial in a babyface v jobber match, because his suffering must rise from being outmatched and outwitted above board.  There’s not likely a low blow or a nipple-twist to explain what threw the jobber off his game, so the two must dance the intricate dance of decisive, convincing combat.  A jobber must beat like a wave upon the sand against the superior strength of body and spirit, only slowly to ebb in will and perseverance in the face of the innate dominance of the finely tuned babyface offense.  Not an ounce less agony, not a smidge less suffering is required than if the jobber took a fist to the scrotum and had his face forced into a heel’s swelling crotch.  This tale is just a tad more subtle but no less tantalizing and tempting for my tastes, for the drama of a jobber slowly crumbling beneath a face.

Heel rising Morgan Cruise drops gorgeous giant Diego Diaz with a shocking low blow

Finally, I’d like to make a case for holding these archetypes in pro wrestling lightly when it comes to homoerotic fare.  While I’m sure I’ll get crap for getting it wrong (won’t be the first time… to get crap or to get it wrong), I’ll also suggest that so far, there isn’t a homoerotic wrestling company producing a through-story with quite the consistency of a weekly mainstream pro wrestling serial in which these archetypes were birthed in live wrestling and televised wrestling entertainment decades ago (probably centuries, really).  Character development takes time and consistency that I think is particularly challenging in the catch-as-catch-can world of the homoerotic wrestling industry.  While there are notable exceptions, such as the highly entertaining through-story that Alex recently posted about regarding the crushing humiliation of fan-favorite face Brad Rochelle until Brad pulled off a sweetly satisfying heel turn in the middle of the Contract series, a chaptered story building motivation and a story arc is a rare element in homoerotic wrestling.  And therefore a face, jobber, or heel may be built or broken within the confines of a given match.  I find this type of story telling more intense, though inherently more difficult to latch onto favorite characters over time (because characters may play multiple roles in seemingly out-of-order sequences).  In other words, my favorite industry highlights that a face (or a jobber or a heel) is not who a wrestler is, but what a wrestler does.  The sum total of a storied career in pro wrestling for gay eyes likely demonstrates that “one man in his time plays many parts.”

Gorgeous babyface Justin Pierce puts the hurt on gorgeous babyface Tommy Tara

In his last post, Alex proposed a new Contract (or Contract-like-series) to chart another rare chaptered story of homoerotic wrestling drama.  I love that idea.  I’d also add my dream of an honest-to-god serial homoerotic pro wrestling story, released as a “season,” witnessing the rise and fall of wrestling hopefuls, the tensions and betrayals, the shocking humiliations and victories-against-the-well-established-odds… alliances made, loyalties tested, egos crushed, losers showing up again owned and operated by the man who bested them… roaring testimonials, sweat-soaked post-match interviews, an explicitly named grudge, a quest for vengeance.  There are some nice tropes and devices of classic mainstream pro wrestling that I think have yet to be fully translated into an explicitly homoerotic context.  I’m sure it would require an entirely different production, likely including prohibitive amounts of scheduling, investment, and choreography.  But seriously, I’d pay a premium for that, particularly with an explicitly homoerotic angle.  Some more suspense, a story arc, a chance to tune in repeatedly to be compelled by a favorite face, heel or jobber… surely there’s a significant market for that.

Babyface beauty Cameron Matthews heeled by Kid Vicious
So I started by making a case for a face, which I still stand by enthusiastically.  Heroes battling for good, winning valiantly, losing in soul-crushing, despair-inducing humiliation… fuck, I love that guy.  But I’d love him even more in a context in which I could watch his character grow and change, in which his motivation is more explicit, contrasts drawn more starkly, perhaps his heel turn that much more shocking because he’d convinced me of his utter trust that right will ultimately overcome might.  I’m sure it’s a pipe dream, but it’s still a dream that makes my blood pulse harder.

Make Me Feel It!

Another fine year has passed for me, and a new one is beginning today.  Birthday’s rock.  Love them, and not just because of the corporal punishment aspect of getting a swat on the ass for each year.  I’m treating myself to a day of doing absolutely nothing, so I’ll make this post brief.  Thanks for the well-wishes and offers to slap down a spank or two (or 42) or even the occasional offer of some birthday headscissors or an OTK backbreaker.  You all are damn sweet, and I wouldn’t trade you for anything… except possibly one of these guys below wailing away at my ass.
My pick last year for Spanker-in-Chief, Kid Karisma, gets his award winning ass tanned by Mike Martin in Sunshine Shooters 5
Missing my wrestling pornboys lately, so I’m back to enjoy watching swoonworthy Vance “The Vice’ Crawford slap down the spoils of victory on a bent-over Cameron Kincade.
Classic tormentor Dino Phillips relishes the sweaty slap of his hand on Peter Bishop’s trapped ass in X-Fights 11

Jeremy Stevens sets up shop all over Jessie Coulter’s muscle ass in Naked Kombat’s recent Muscle Match.

Possibly the sexiest pairing of asses includes Big Sexy smiling down at Cameron Mathews’ angry red ass as he wails away in Rough and Ready 21.

Telling Stories

Regular readers know my tastes.  I’m not coy about being being particularly turned on by action in a wrestling ring, guys with tattoos, muscular asses, shaved heads, hair pulling, erotic tag teams, over-the-knee backbreakers, trapped in the ropes muscle torture, ego-bashing trash talk, overcoming long odds, and story telling (just to name a few of my favorite things).  If I absolutely had to give up all but one of those things, I think I’d have to hang out to the bitter end for my lustful desire for a well-told story.  I’m a drama/melodrama junkie, and wedded with homoerotic wrestling, a compelling story with 3 dimensional characters, a story arc, a climax and a sexually dominating denouement is powerfully satisfying for me.  Thus my delight in homoerotic wrestling fiction (writing it, but especially reading that of others).   I’ve also lately been particularly titillated to learn that some of the juiciest morsels from the pages of this blog and my fondest homoerotic wrestling matches have also begun blogging.

Monaco on the mats.

Ben Monaco is the latest wrestler that I know of who’s started documenting his journey into on camera homoerotic wrestling with his blog, Monaco Off the Mats.  His first post is text-intensive, meaning I’m already powerfully aroused, as Ben describes this new chapter in his life in which a chance encounter on Grindr led inevitably down the path toward Ben’s metamorphosis into a rising star in the homoerotic wrestling business.

Most recently, Ben got his hands (and tongue) all over massive rookie Alain LeClair in Mat Scraps 2.

Check out Ben’s story and encourage him to keep up the narrative, because I’m going to blow an artery if I don’t get to read subsequent chapters of his journey.  He’s also offered to answer questions, and I know I for one have been cataloging new ones to ask ever since he granted me an interview soon after his debut for BG East.  I find that blogging is work, my friends, and a healthy dose of positive reinforcement is essential to enduring lapses in motivation to keep going, so get on Monaco Off the Mats and tell Ben you want to know what happens next!

That Ginger Guy!

My recently slapped down top contender and long-time title holder of my favorite homoerotic wrestler (and BG East’s 2012 winner for Best Butt) Kid Karisma, has a blog that he updates irregularly, but delightfully when he does.  That Ginger Guy! (perfectly named, to match his physical perfection), hasn’t been updated in a few months, sadly.  Personally, I’m dying to know if he lost the ginger whiskers once No Shave November was over (’cause I’m saying right now I’d like to see those full blown whiskers in the ring!).  And who’s with me in harboring a crazy lust to watch the karismatic one crush objects between those rugby-built quads?  And I’m still hoping to see some incriminating post-party, slack jawed, drooling evidence of what homoerotic wrestling’s most infamous party boy looks like in the back seat on the way home.  We know that Kid K will dish, god bless him, and I can’t think of a better theme for That Ginger Guy! than a much needed gossip rag for the homoerotic wrestling industry.  Pass the word along and let’s get Kid K back at the keyboard.

Cameron Mathews sells the goods.

Cameron Mathews launched his personal/professional wrestling website last summer, and he’s done a decent job of keeping the material fresh and liberally laced with beefcake.  He tends to be a man of relatively few words, but they’re typically well-chosen and paired with some sweet video and stills, CameronWrestler.com offers some inspiring insights into the hardest working homoerotic wrestler on the scene.  He’s also periodically selling Cameron-memorabilia for his army of fans to purchase, like his current sale on liberally sweat-stained trunks (it’s never too early to start Christmas shopping for Bard, friends).  Most provocatively, I think, is Cam’s offer to tape custom wrestling matches, and there are a boatload of testimonials bearing evidence that his Pro vs. Joe private bookings leave his fans supremely satisfied.

What naughty thoughts is Aryx thinking now?

My most recent interviewee, Aryx Quinn, has more of Twitter presence than anything else on the internet, but he does have a website that’s been promising a new, expanded source for all things Aryx for quite a while.  I hope that those of you populating the Twittersphere will start bombarding @TristanBaldwin with pleas for more Aryx Quinn wrestling access.

Drake Marcos knows drama.

For months I’ve been encouraging ambitious rookie Drake Marcos to start blogging about his journey into the hearts and lusts of homoerotic wrestling fans (and a particular homoerotic wrestling producer who’s clearly taken a shine to the eager baby face beauty).  Drake keeps promising me it’s on his to-do list.

Talk about a story to tell!

And then there are plenty more homoerotic wrestlers I think ought to blog.  I know for a fact Kid Leopard is online at least 25 hours out of every day.  Can you imagine some free association narrative from the man who’s gone from down and dirty heel to heading his own international wrestling empire?!

Tease no more, Kid Vicious!

And please, people, if you know Kid Vicious, tell him he’s GOT TO either give me that interview he’s been teasing me with for (I kid you not) at least 8 months, or launch a Kid Vicious blog to let us get a glimpse of the dark recesses of his fantastically homoerotically kinked wrestling mind.

Do you need a kidney, Lon!?

I’d sell a kidney for more access to Lon Dumont, as well.  Pro wrestler turned competitive bodybuilder turned homoerotic wrestler!?  That’s worth a made for TV movie at the barest minimum, and much more obviously deserves some custom-made Lon served up for some voracious fans (line starts directly behind ME!).

Clearly Brad Rochelle knows his way around a keyboard.

Yes, I love a story told well.  And I’m sure that there are other wrestlers we could think of that we’d like to hear much, much more from.  Then again, I’m sure not every homoerotic wrestler fancies clicking away at a keyboard, but I’m equally certain (and I have documentation to prove it) that there are more than a few wrestling fantasymen adept and accomplished in crafting the English language into compelling and erotically satisfying narrative.  I’m typically a half a decade behind the times, but I’m hoping against hope that more web presence and online drama is where the hot world of homoerotic wrestling is heading!

Fuck Concessions

I love how technology and blogs have been increasingly bringing fans of homoerotic wrestling into closer proximity with homoerotic wrestlers.  The first time I read one of Joe’s interviews with a wrestler, I was thrilled and inspired.  I’m sure there are clock punchers in the business, but the revelation that some of our favorite wrestlers-for-gay-eyes enjoy the attention and appreciate the celebrity they possess within our circle of interest somehow sweetens the pot of the homoerotic wrestling industry.  I think of the interviews I’ve had the opportunity to conduct as highlights of the labor of love that I invest in this blog.  They’ve brought a welcome sense of humor and humanity to the fantasies I treasure of homoerotic wrestling, and, unexpectedly, they’ve made me a fierce advocate for fans treating wrestlers with common decency and plenty of respect.

Rio Garza – BG East’s Best Body of 2012
So when BG East’s Best of 2012 poll came out, and even more when I thought about the results as they were announced, it made me wonder what the objects of our popularity polls think of being ranked, ordered, and lauded or looked over.  From the consumer side of homoerotic wrestling, I found the poll to be a very fun exercise in examining my own tastes in comparison with more than 500 or so other fans.  But from the wrestler side of things, I had to wonder what the boys themselves thought of the exercise. Any gloating?  Any hurt feelings?

Lon Dumont – Nominated for Top Heel, Best Body, Best Abs, Best Butt… but came out with a trophy
Hell YES!  Lon Dumont sent me a text demanding a recount.  I don’t know if a recount would help, but I’m entirely with him on finding the results unsatisfying when it comes to recognizing what an insanely hot wrestler he is!  My hope is that, as he enters a new bodybuilding season in a few weeks, he’ll take this defeat at the BG East polls and turn it into gold on stage, and then bring in his bodybuilding trophies and shove them, and his bulging biceps, in the face of his next opponent.

Cameron Matthews asks you to just look at this photo and explain his absence from the nominees for best abs and best body

One of Lon’s buddies, Cameron Matthews, also was not pleased, despite anchoring Babyface Brawls 2, winner of best ring match.  Cameron made one of the most compelling arguments against his exclusion from the categories of best abs and best body by simply posting to his blog this fucking gorgeous photo of himself from his recent wrestling trip to the UK, in which his unbelievably hot six-pack was doused in oil and on awesome display.  Under the title “Best of 2012 Complaints,” Cam reviews the slights and mistake of the pollsters themselves.  “Didn’t even make it into the finalist of Best Body 2012.  3rd Place as Top Babyface.  Not ranked amongst Best Abs.”  Even his razor thin loss to Kid Karisma in the Best Butt category merely inflamed Cameron’s outrage, prompting him to demand a recount.  Personally, I think it’s a stroke of pure genius that Cameron has apparently been inspired by this miscarriage of justice to commit himself to earning the title of Best Heel of 2013.  I’m wholeheartedly ready for him to earn my vote!

Eli Black won nearly everything he was nominated for… and still he’s pissed!
Even the overwhelming winners at the polls seem a little irked at some of the subtleties of the voting and commentary.  I received this extensive text rant from Eli Black early yesterday morning, I’m sure at least in part in response to my gentle critique that Lon’s abs might merit more credit than Eli’s:

Trying to provoke Eli?!!!!! My abs are the very best abs in the wrestling seen these days!!!! 100% American Muscle!!!!! The votes were rigged!!!!! I won them all! I am the face wherever I go, hence why I am Mr. Primus, and I shutdown any compotition around me!!! Austin Cooper?!!! Kid Karisma?!!! For get about it! Eli Black all the way! I’m the champ, and no one’s dethroning me. End of story. My abs are chiseled by God himself!!!!! Picture perfect! No one else could even hold my jock strap!!!!! You people like to forget this is Eli Black’s world – y’all just live in it!

Hard to argue with, isn’t it?  The mountain of exclamation points alone sort of beat you into submission similarly to the vicious beatings that Eli’s been pounding into the bodies of his opponents as of late.  And seriously, what’s to argue with?  Coop fans may want to quibble with the implication that Austin’s Wrestler Spotlight shouldn’t have garnered more votes than Eli’s.  And I’m first in line to raise a skeptical eyebrow at Eli’s suggestion that his truly astonishingly gorgeous ass is definitively superior to the world class glutes that belong to Best Butt winner Kid Karisma.  But Eli has a way about him of being so… persuasive.  And I’d give my left testicle for a chance to see Kid K and Eli go ass-on-ass in the ring until one of them is, literally, submissively holding the winner’s sweat soaked jock strap.  But scoring wins as Best Debut of 2012, Best Abs, and starring in the Best Mat Battle of the year, it’s hard to miss the ring of stark truth in Eli’s words: It’s Eli’s world, people.  We just live in it!

A nod to the fans: Cameron Matthews is one of the many homoerotic wrestlers who appreciates being appreciated

Honestly, even with Eli’s full court press of a rebuttal to the poll results and my needling, every wrestler I’ve heard from has clearly taken the year end poll as a good bit of fun that they’re happy to be part of.  And I love that about this community!  Mix in homoeroticism, fanatical lust, larger than life personalities, drop dead gorgeous bodies, and a healthy dose of humor, and 2012 goes down in my book as a banner year for BG East and the entire homoerotic wrestling industry.