I’m a bad gay, I realize, but I hate awards shows. I like seeing who won awards the next day, mind you, but I have no patience for the pretensions of red carpets and tearful speeches and what passes for entertaining song and dance numbers. That said, I’d be glued to my television if BG East ever decided to produce an awards show to unveil their year-end viewer’s choice poll winners… particularly if the song and dance numbers were an occasional tuxedo rip ‘n’ strip match center stage. Short of that, I am enjoying pouring over the just announced winners of the BG East Best Of 2013s, comparing where I run with the pack and where I’m clearly a lone wolf.

Running with the pack, I voted with the majority in selecting Kip Sorell as debut of the year. That said, I would like to think that Lane Hartley might be severely pissed to be passed over, requiring a severe and brutal beating of epically pretty Kip. Fingers crossed…

Best abs to Eli Black for me and you for the second year in a row.  Eli is an anatomy chart, so it’s hard not to see what we’re all looking at.  That said, I think this category is one of the most competitive, and Eli’s abs surely have earned a big, bright target painted on them by the many worthy also-rans.

Two years running, I and the majority have inescapably concluded that Kid Karisma’s ass is simply the best in the business.  That world class ass is just one of the top reasons that Kid K wrestled the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler away from Lon Dumont late in 2013. Last year, runner-up Cameron Matthews complained bitterly about being passed over for this one. In that proposed awards show in the future, I believe it would be only fair to see all of the finalists asses displayed, immediately prior to the winner’s announcement, followed closely by a bareassed beatdown in a pit of oil.

I and the majority agreed that the best mat battle (by far, in my estimation) was Cameron’s incredibly sexy and intense tussle with Eli in Mat Hunks 9. Wowza! The chemistry between these two totally took me by surprise, and I believe both of these amazing studs brought out the very best in one another. Simply incredible match!

I personally felt that there was no real competition for Best Squash. Whether the voting was as much a squash as Custom Combat, I don’t know, but one way or another, the majority of voters agreed with me in picking Jonny’s infinite variations on a squashing theme all over sweetly suffering Drake Marcos.

Miss any of these?  Shame on you. Now is your chance to redeem yourself, though, because BG East is offering the products of all of the winning matches at a 25% discount for the remainder of this month. I’ll comment later on where my tastes diverged with the herd, but my ballot ran about 33% with winners in this year’s polling.  All these hunks are over the top winners in my book, and I hope that accolades and praise go straight to their heads, requiring extensive drama and punishment to knock them back down to size.