And the nominees are…

Polls close on Sunday, so let’s take a closer look today at a couple of the BG East “Besties” nominations, namely Best Butt and Best Bulge.  In the interest of full disclosure, I tend to be more of an ass man myself, but even I have been known to have my eyes pop out at the sight of several of these best bulge nominees in action. What constitutes a “best” bulge or butt, of course is deeply subjective.  Size, proportion, shape, and of course wardrobe choices that accentuate it just right… so many components to factor and figure. Let’s take a look at the front end first.

jobebulge
You have to imagine Jobe Zander is aching for this award after being bridesmaid two times running. His major gimmick is his “Centerpiece” after all!
jobebulge2
Hard to argue that’s a far above average bulge. Is it the best of 2014?
petebulge
Pete Sharp burst onto the scene just a couple of years ago, and there’s nothing that fails to catch my eye about the blue eyed bombshell. But I regularly gasp in astonishment at the size and heft of the mountain stuffed in the front of his trunks.
petebulge2
That requires its own zip code!
mrjoshuabulge
Best Bulge winner for the past 2 years, Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) is back again to slap down his junk and defy you to tear your eyes away.
mrjoshuabulge2
That trouser snake stretches the seams of every lucky pair of trunks that struggle to contain it!
jonnybulge
Jonny Firestorm’s first 2015 release makes him an instant frontrunner for next year’s best bulge, but it was hard to find a pic from pre-2015 that does justice to just how huge the reigning Best Heel is. But trust me. He’s fucking huge.
jonnybulge2
Jonny packs major league heat!
ethanbulge
Hard not to see why Ethan Axel Andrews gets a gasp and a nod in the slate this year. We’ve watched his body get harder and that massive bulge seem to grow bigger every year. Now that’s a workout routine I want to see!
ethanbulge2
Seriously. Massive, meaty, and swings like a sledgehammer.
gabrielbulge
Finally, Gabriel Ross is a major player in this category, but I’ve been asked to make my posts safer-for-work lately, meaning I can’t show you exactly why Gabriel is a major contender. Suffice it to say that he’s much more a grower than a show-er.
gabrielbulge2
When this monster gets stoked, seriously, step back. He could put an eye out with that cock. But does that qualify for “best bulge?”

Despite my long-standing knee-jerk adoration for Mr. Joshua’s gargantuan bulge, and defying the momentum he has the undefeated winner of this category for the 2 years the Besties have been around, I have to say it’s Pete Sharp’s behemoth that owns me. Like everything about him, that mass of man meat is aesthetically gorgeous, defiantly huge while somehow seeming perfectly proportioned to his superhuman physique. I suspect Mr. Joshua will once again have a major showing in this category, possibly taking the 3-peat, and legions of Jonny and Ethan fans will of course chime in to support their boys. I’d say Ethan is the dark horse contender here, potentially pulling in both loyal fans along with those who objectively, simply have fallen in lust with the firehose he sports.

Now let’s take a look at the back end of the chassis. I get hottest considering the Best Butt nominees.

coopbutt
Goldenboy Austin Cooper has made major progress in plot points this year, leveraging a thrilling heel turn into a mind-fuck split personality. It’s evil Dr. Cooper that I jones on hardest, but either incarnation, it’s hard to argue with the fact that luscious, round ass is gorgeous!
coopbutt2
Muscled, athletic and sweetly round and squeezable at the same time. That’s one hot contender!
kirkbutt
I thought there had to be a typo when I saw Kirk Donahue listed for Best Butt. I mean, the handsome newbie is cute as a button with an imminently fuckable body, but his ass just doesn’t jump out at me as cream of the crop. Some nominator clearly disagrees with me, though.
kirkbutt2
I’d spank it, sure, but best butt?
karismabutt
Reigning 2 time winner of Best Butt, Kid Karisma returns to flex those glutes in your face again. Rugby, wrestling, working out… there’s a formula for crafting perky, hard, insanely grabbable ass cheeks like this, and Kid K is working it to perfection.
karismabutt2
2014 was also the year we got our first glimpse of this award winning ass completely naked. I personally keep a shrine to this divine work of art in my home. Is this beauty a 3-peat?
cameronbutt
Cameron Matthews poses a challenge to evaluating his cred in this category, because he appeared in products in 2014 that have to span at least 5 years, ranging from his barely legal beauty incarnation (pictured here) to his more recent rock hard muscle stud appearance. His butt is epic regardless, but you can decide if you’re voting on his more squeezable young glutes or his muscle power-bottom.
cameronbutt2
Round, graceful, spankable 5-ways to Sunday.
gabrielbutt
Gabriel Ross is the only nominee to show up in bulge and butt categories. The Gabriel 2.0 physique that debuted a couple of years ago undeniably sports a hot, muscled, mouthful of gluteus muscles.
gabrielbutt2
Not the biggest or hardest, but for fan fantasy ass worship, this naughty fallen angel just may be the fan choice for best butt in 2014.

You know I’ve got my favorite pick of this bunch. I don’t call myself the self-appointed president of the Kid Karisma fan club for nothing. I Austin’s ass makes a compelling second place finisher, though Cameron’s butt and bevy of crazy ass fans could spell an upset to Kid K’s run for the 3-peat. Whoever wins, I’d just like to suggest that he celebrate by bending Kirk Donahue over his knee and pounding that kid’s boy-next-door-butt until he confesses who he fucked to get on this list.

So for those who want any pointers, the Bard-approved slate thus far looks like this:

Best Abs: Lon Dumont (and a bottle of honey)

Best Bulge: Pete Sharp

Best Ass: Kid Karisma

Summertime and the Livin’ Is Easy

Like fresh picked berries and crotch watching at the beach, BG East’s Summer Sizzler’s releases have become a seasonal treat for me.  I’m a little dizzy from the initial overdose I just subjected myself to, scoping out the preview pics that are part of catalog 99.1, just released.

Boyfriend jobbers Skip and Christian make me think it’s not all bad getting crushed by Morgan Cruise.

Making my eyes water the hardest are the initial shots of Tag Team Torture 16: Boyfriend Beatdown, featuring the combo I’ve been bitching and moaning in anticipation of for years.  Skip Vance and his  real life boyfriend (and former HWOTM) Christian Taylor climb into the ring together for a 2-on-1 battle against heel-risen Morgan Cruise.  Holy shit, this looks insanely hot.  This looks like it’s heading in all the right directions, and I’m a little breathless in anticipation.

Chace LaChance and Braden Charron are RIPPED! 

Speaking of breathless, shocking me just a little are the preview pics of the “Bonus Match” (for ordering all of the Summer Sizzlers) featuring Braden Charron and Chace LaChance both appearing to have physically peaked for the season at precisely the same moment that they climbed into the ring together.  I may have seen Braden this ripped… possibly, but holy hell, I have never seen Chace as put together as this. Fuck. Me. Please.

Who’s Got Whom? Eli Black or Cameron Matthews? 

Mat Hunks 9 is a stand-alone compilation that delivers a pretty perfect 8-pack selection of thirst-quenching hunks such as I’m not sure I’ve seen all on one DVD before.  3-time HWOTM Eli Black looks like he’s got his hands full with former HWOTM Cameron Matthews.  This is a fascinating pairing, I think, and Cameron’s showmanship combined with Eli’s intensity seems like a formula for either disaster or perfection.  I’m voting for perfection.

Rafe Sanchez takes the ride of MY life!

And speaking of perfection, former HWOTM and former and long-running overall favorite homoerotic wrestler of mine, Mitch Colby, snaps those tanned, rock hard thighs around the smooth, sexy head of long, long running infatuation of mine (though never a HWOTM), Rafe Sanchez (mmmmmmmm… Rafe).  These two have appeared in some of the over the top sexiest wrestling I’ve ever enjoyed, so combined, I’m feeling dehydrated just thinking about it.  And I’m not even going to mention the perfection of asses featured in the other two matches on Mat Hunks 9… yet.

Hot, hard muscles turned to jelly.
I will mention that my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy) Lon Dumont is also out in a new product, Knock Outs 2 , appearing back in the day when his head was smoother than Rafe Sanchez’.  The match promises both Lon and his opponent, veteran pro Paul Hudson, get sleepered repeatedly, and the image of lovely, powerful Lon so vulnerable, out cold, is giving me hot flashes!
Mr. Joshua had better watch his back (I’ll keep an eye on his front for him)

Finally, Ring Hunks 1 (how is this only the first of that title!?) throws former overall favorite homoerotic wrestler Mr. Joshua’s massive package headlong into the dangerous machinations of former HWOTM and recent interviewee here, Aryx Quinn.  If anyone can unleash the beast, surely it’s diabolical Aryx!   Right?!  Please!?

Another who’s got whom from Summer Sizzlers: Wrestle Shack 17… my money is on Dylon Robert’s thighs.

So these releases technically fall in the month of May, but there’s no way I can assess them in time for tomorrow’s crowning of a new HWOTM, so they’re officially delayed to join the June releases.  In the mean time, pass me a protein drink.  I’m going in….

So Close It Hurts

I’ve complained before about the master cock tease, Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!).  By “complain,” of course, I mean that I bitch relentlessly about the aching frustration of having never seen Mr. J’s gargantuan crotch monster unleashed.   As BG East’s winner for Best Bulge, Joshua’s infamous oversized baggage is in a class of its own (though I’d give a kidney to see a side-by-side and crotch-to-face comparison of Mr. J and painfully pretty “don’t-call-me-pretty” Pete Sharp!).  I’ve spent a lot of time blogging about my unrequited love affair with Mr. J’s junk, and it surprises me not one iota that the longer he’s been in the business, the more Joshua’s most obviously eye-catching asset features prominently in the dramas in which he stars.

Joshua’s most recent release in Ringwars 21 battling against Brooklyn Bodywrecker’s punishment sponge fuck puppet, Ned Norris, is merely the most recent development in the ongoing saga of how Mr. J’s massive package can take center stage whenever he steps into the ring.  Early on in his career, his opponent’s just couldn’t take their eyes off his overstuffed trunks, typically not mentioning it explicitly, but who’s gonna miss it when during every single match he’s got to pause, shove his hand down the front of his trunks, and rearrange things that have shaken loose in the action!? More recently, opponents have begun to want to use Joshua’s pendulous testicles as a punching bag.  That notorious best bulge has been targeted in later catalogs for crotch claws.  BBW was the first and, to date, the only opponent to not only conquer the stunningly beautiful Mr. Joshua, but to then peel him out of his trunks, drape his naked body over one shoulder (displaying the most underrated ass in the business), and carry Mr. J out of the ring.  Before he left, BBW taunted us on this side of the camera.  He knows we want to see what he’s seen lurking underneath Joshua’s trunks, but in the most vicious heel move I’ve ever seen, BBW snarled with contempt at us and assured us that Mr. J is as big and stunning as we suspect… but BBW walks off with the most stunning trophy of all tucked up tightly against his chest, remaining unseen for public viewing.

I thought Ned Norris seemed like an unlikely challenger for Mr. Joshua when I first saw the matchup. He’s a lean 6 foot, with a hairy bod and a handsome face. He’d catch my eye in a crowd… at least a crowd that insanely gorgeous, smooth, sculpted Joshua isn’t in. But when Ned strides across the ring and crowds Mr. J from behind as the infamously dangerous narcissist lustfully studies his own peaked biceps, you’ve just got to admire the audacity. I wouldn’t mind standing that close to Joshua’s hot bod, but Mr. Muscles is a nasty, dangerous powerhouse. When Ned flexes his biceps directly behind Mr. J, the super-close-up comparison is not kind to Ned. He’s a hot, hairy hunk, but he’s clearly a mere mortal when so closely compared to the divine Mr. J. As Joshua fans will expect, he makes Ned pay for for the audacity. It takes him approximately a tenth of a second to drop Ned to his knees and begin a beautifully long session of using Ned’s suffering body as a prop to display the aesthetic perfection of Mr. J’s muscles put to the use that the gods intended when they sculpted him out of granite: dominating an overwhelmed stud in the wrestling ring. True to his most mouthwatering form, Mr. Joshua flexes and poses at every turn, turning every joint wrenching, breath-stealing, soul crushing hold into the stage upon which Joshua’s beautiful physique looks that much more stunning for the obvious utility of it.

There’s nothing that doesn’t stoke my engine with such gusto as Mr. Joshua on script and melding amorous self-worship with total, humiliating domination. But the eroticism spikes dramatically the moment that Mr. J has Ned’s head trapped between his gorgeous, smooth thighs, chin pointed at the ceiling. It’s a stunning visual, this standing headscissors. Ned’s neck looks like Mr. J could snap it with an ever-so-slight twist of his hips. I’d pay an extra month’s rent for Ned’s view at that moment, as Mr. J leans back against the ropes and pumps his guns again. Then out of nowhere, Ned reaches up tentatively, hooks the fingertips of both hands in the waist of the narcissists trunks, and starts to drag them downward. Holy hell, Ned instantly turned from lamb-to-the-slaughter jobberboy into my personal hero! He manages to drag the insanely tight fabric a nice distance, definitely exposing Joshua’s hip flexors. If Mr. J had roused even a half a second slower from his lusty self-adoration, he wouldn’t have managed to cup his hand across the top of the trunks just barely still covering his crotch and halt the downward progress of his gear. There’s a painfully quick struggle between the two, with every ounce of my attention pulling for Ned’s fingertips to win the tug of war. Alas, Mr. J eventually slaps Ned’s hands away and pulls his trunks back up. Fuck. So close.

Mr. Joshua doesn’t seem to hold a grudge about the near-strip. There’s no gay-panic defense necessary here. Mr. J knows what you and I and every sane opponent before and including Ned Norris is fixated on: the real star of the show, his monster package. I live with questions burning through my crotch, such as is that huge heft equally distributed between cock and balls, or is Mr. J primarily one or the other? Ned Norris nearly answered 99% of my aching questions about Mr. J in one fell swoop, and rather than resent him, Mr. Joshua seems merely inspired. He begins to delight in crotch-pinning Ned’s face to the mat over and over. He taunts him with instructions to open his mouth and take Mr. J’s balls whole as he flexes his biceps and grinds his crotch into Ned’s face in a schoolboy pin. Mr. J appears both unsurprised and, if anything, delighted to learn that Ned’s ulterior motive here is unleashing his beast. With the stakes a little clearer, the master narcissist and notorious cock tease does a truly professional job of bringing Ned’s prize so close… so, so close… but holding it just barely out of reach.

Astute fans will note that this is not in the Strip Stakes series, so adjust your expectations if I’ve led you to think that you’ll get the eyeful we’ve been aching for. Ned does not follow in his master’s footsteps, and I can only imagine (fondly) the discipline Ned faced when he got home, dutifully donned his leather collar, and had to relate to BBW how he fared. Mr. J uses his impeccably toned bod to quite literally pound Ned from every angle possible, rolling the hairy jobber across the mat and tenderizing his back with countless knee drops. Again, we know Ned can take (and let’s face it, relish) a brutal beating, but with Mr. J’s conditioning and strength paired with the tantalizing implicit disclosure that Ned’s got his sights set on Mr. J’s number one muscle, Ned’s buttons are both pushed and bashed in with a hammer until he’s a puddle of squashed dreams and quivering muscle. Ned’s fleeting moments of offense show off some sweet, sweet angles of Mr. J’s physique, but like a pebble tumbling down hill, setting off a landslide, Ned eventually gets buried deep beneath the crushing, overwhelming, gorgeous muscle stud on top of him.

The moment Mr. Joshua’s name appears on a BG East Strip Stakes DVD box, I will instantly lose a load. Next time, perhaps Ned Norris and Randy Stanton should coordinate their efforts. If it would help to take up a collection to incentivize Mr. J to battle on sans gear, count me in as a mega-bundler! In the mean time, Joshua has woven that intoxicating, crazy-making, frustrating, and powerfully entertaining web over me that he has so many times before. And I’ll say it again, whoever gives us the Mr. Joshua full-monty goes into a homoerotic wrestler hall of fame all his own!

Best of…

The best of BG East in 2012 poll results have been posted.  Joe’s also posted a summary of the winners,  implying that he and the popular vote may have parted ways at several points.  Same for me, I think.  Honestly, I can’t remember who I voted for in several categories, despite the fact that I voted just a few days ago.  It’s probably the remnants of my anti-inflammatory and pain meds working their way out of my system.

Sexiest  Match: StripStakes 3 – Morgan Cruise vs Damien Rush
I do like numbers though, and I’m happy to see a few more data points available than just who won. For example, Morgan Cruise’s rip ‘n strip ‘n force to cum rookie welcome of Damien Rush in StripStakes 3 scored the trophy for sexiest match in 2012, but check the stats.  The match I voted for, Cage Thunder and Lightning Rod’s insanely sexy 2-on-1 destruction of achingly adorably Stinger in Masked Mayhem 9 was just 1 percentage point behind.  I think the heat of this competition deserves seeing Cage Thunder and Lightning Rod tag team once again, this time against Morgan and Damien!
Best Mat Battle: Matie Rookies Eli Black v Jake Jenkins

I was with the herd in selecting best mat battle.  Jake Jenkins and Eli Black’s Mat Rookie confrontation is a match I think will stand the test of time.  And it was 20 percentage points ahead of 2nd place!  When we do a best of the best vote for the next decade anniversary or 100th catalog of BGE, I think Jake and Eli could contend for the title against a broader field.

Best Ring Match: Babyface Brawls 2 Austin Cooper v Cameron Matthews
I can’t remember for certain, but I think my vote for best ring match went with runner-ups Jonny Firestorm and Jake Jenkins in Jobberpalooza 12: The Works, rather than category winners Cameron Matthews and Austin Cooper for Babyface Brawl 2.  I wouldn’t argue with that outcome at all, really, even though just 5 percentage points separated 1st and 2nd place.  I thought that was a very competitive category with several very worthy contenders.

Top Babyface: Jake Jenkins
For best babyface, I think I again went with the herd in picking winner Jake Jenkins who pulled it out by 6 percentage points over Austin Cooper.  There are extremely fierce fans in both of these boys’ camps, so I’m not surprised they rose to the top.  I’m sort of pleased that of the two, Jake topped Coop.

Top Heel: Jonny Firestorm

Honestly, I just can’t remember who I voted for top heel, but it could have been winner Jonny Firestorm who beat out equally likely candidate I may have voted for, Kid Karisma, by 11 points.  Since there was no category for most mindblowing forearms (next year, people!), I’m glad Jonny tucked this one under his belt.

Best Squash: Jopperpalooza 12: The Works Jonny Firestorm v Jake Jenkins
Best squash was not close at all, but I sided with the 17% of decisively swung for Kid Karisma’s gorgeous, sexy beatdown on Skip Vance in Mat Mayhem 23 rather than category winner Jonny Firestorm and Jake Jenkins for Jobberpalooza 12: The Works.  I’m glad The Works got a shout out somewhere in the poll results, though.  And the writing was on the wall, really, with Jake voted top babyface and Jonny voted top heel!

Jobber of the Year: Rio Garza
Jobber of the year went to fan favorite Rio Garza by 9 percentage points over my pick, Skip Vance.  Rio’s got an extremely loyal and not infrequently aggressive (to the point of rude) fan base that makes this result unsurprising to me.  For my tastes, however, Skip is much more a classic jobber and entertaining sell.  Rio’s awfully entertaining to watch job, too, though.

Debut of the Year: Eli Black
Again, I think was with the herd in picking Eli as the best debut of 2012 by 12 points over Damien, though this could easily have gone a different direction and I’d have been entirely on board.  It feels like Eli’s been at BG East for years and years, which suggests to me why this was, as Eli would be happy to tell you, his year!

Best Spotlight Release: Wrestler Spotlight: Austin Cooper
Best spotlight release feature was an 11 point spread between Eli and category winner Austin Cooper.  While this doesn’t surprise me, and if I were a betting man I’d have put money down and made money back on this outcome, I placed my vote for last place winner Denny Cartier because his Leopard’s Lair 4 anchor position was fucking AWESOME, and essentially 4 barnburner and brutal bouts for the price of 2.  I love, love, love me some Denny Cartier and one of my fondest wishes for 2013 is to see him tap into a nasty streak and headline a new category for next year’s voting: best heel turn!

Best Abs: Eli Black
Best abs was a surprisingly (to me) narrow victory of 2 points by Eli over Jake.  What makes for “best” when it comes to bodies and their parts is, obviously, subjective, however my vote went for Lon Dumont by a mile and a half.  At the risk of pissing off Eli, I just have to say Eli’s phenomenal 8-pack seems to me to be about 60% conditioning and 40% mass, whereas Lon’s anatomy chart abdominals (the whole pacakge: serratus, obliques, abdomini) are a more aesthetically balanced and all around stunning beauty.  I don’t begrudge Eli’s victory at all, mind you, but I just shake my head and contemplate my vast distance from the herd when I see that Lon placed last.  For me and my tastes, I think this calls for a Lon v Eli gut bash in 2013.

Best Bulge: Mr. Joshua Goodman
I was, however, right in the middle of the pack in voting for best bulge winner (by 4 points) Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!), who slapped down his junk to power hit past Gabriel Ross’ anaconda.  There wasn’t one candidate in this field that couldn’t easily own the title, and I’d go so far as to say that this year was a bumber crop of mountainous packages. Now the task for 2013 is for one of those club boys that he likes to take home and challenge to wrestle for the chance to put Mr. J on his knees, to literally shock the pants off of Mr. J and finally, finally, finally unleash the beast within.  I guarantee I’ll buy three copies of that release!

Best Butt: Kid Karisma
Best butt was a horse race between category winner Kid Karisma and 2nd place finisher (by a nose) Cameron Matthews.  While we can’t go wrong with any of the contenders for this title, I’m happy to admit I voted for and was campaign chairman for Kid K’s glorious glutes to grab this title.  Again, I say, the ferocity of this competition clearly warrants a Kid K v Cameron rip ‘n strip ring battle to be decided by who makes whom kiss his ass. I’ll pay a premium for a front row seat to that one!

Best Body: Rio Garza
Best body again revealed the distance between me and the herd, with Rio Garza taking the title by 4 points over 2nd place Austin Cooper.  Arguably, this could be the most subjective of all of these wildly subjective categories, because what bodies turn us on follow such divergent tastes in bodies among wrestling fans.  If this were strictly about physical conditioning and muscle mass, the 2 bodybuilders at the bottom of the heap, Magnus and my choice Lon Dumont, could have easily vied for the top spots.  Again, this line of reasoning makes my loins ache to see Magnus and Lon in a head-to-head catchweight ring match of bodybuilding beauties.  However, 21% of fans preferred the body of beautifully proportioned, lickably smooth Rio, which I get, despite my tastes drawing me strongly elsewhere.

Hottest Liplock: X-Fights 34 Gabriel Ross and Drake Marcos
The final category placed me back among the masses in selecting the blazingly hot X-Fights 34 match between Drake Marcos and Gabriel Ross, obliterating the competition with 54% of the vote!  Truth be told, I could easily be tempted to swing for the incredibly sexy and, yes, I’ll say it, wrestling romantic liplock that Enforcer slapped on Maskador in Masked Mayhem 10 as the ripped hunk hung battered and helpless in a tree of woe, halfway to being entirely unmasked.  I admit it: I’ve also gotten off to that scene from Spiderman where Tobey Maguire hangs upside down, his masked half pulled off, as his co-star sucks hero face.  Gorgeous fantasy!  But holy hell, the heat generated by Drake and Gabriel could heat Reykjavik for year!
What a year!  BG East pieced together an incredible collection of outstanding homoerotic wrestling, and all of the nominees and the entire catalog of 2012 releases deserves all this and much more credit.  Nicely done, gentlemen! 

Do You See What I See?

Tis the season for shiny, dangling balls, so what better way to celebrate than a new release starring long-time infatuation of mine, Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!!!).

Mr. Joshua’s baubles make me feel all warm inside on a cold winter night!

Mr. J’s latest jaunt into the ring occurs on BG East’s new release Demolition 15.  He and his giant baubles square off against bewilderingly squashable Louie Lanza, a newbie that looks like Mr. Joshua could break in half with a stern look.  I know (really, I KNOW) to expect to be awed by Mr. J’s pendulous package.  I’ve appreciated its every bounce and wiggle, sway and swing in dozens of matches already.  I live in constant unrequited lust to see his trunk monster released from it’s bonds, so of course I’m prepared to be impressed all over again anytime he climbs into the ring or onto the mat.  And still, I experience a little gasp of shock when he shows up in those insanely tight plastic-wrap-style metallic silver trunks.

Lovely Louie holds his breath when he feels Mr. J sliding into position behind him.

There are probably few professions in which an endowment like Mr. J’s most prominent one can be quite so explicitly advantageous.  Exotic dancing.  Porn.  Underwear model for gay men (because if he modeled for straights, you know they’d be completely freaked out and insecure).  But thank Santa that Mr. J has found the niche in which his beauteous bulge is surely most appreciated, the homoerotic wrestling ring.

Mr. J controls his newest twink conquest by a handful of hair and another handful of trunks.

I love a good squash, mind you, so any compilation that includes Mr. J facing an achingly fragile-looking newbie who, let’s face it, just looks like he’s desperate to get his ass kicked, is going to be a crowd pleaser.  This is, in my estimation, a good squash.  Now, I prefer Mr. J in a more competitive scenario.  To be completely honest, I really, really prefer Mr. J outmatched, owned, and stripped naked by a hungry hunk guaranteed to be my personal hero for life, although that preference has never been fulfilled.  However, as he proves in his systematic destruction of lovely Louie, Mr. J carries off the role of muscle-bully exceedingly well.

It’s possible to get so distracted by his bulge that you miss the fact that Mr. J is pristinely gorgeous from head to toe!

I’m certain that my infatuation with Mr. J is far from exclusively explained by the mountain in the front of his trunks.  In fact, there’s something intoxicating to me about a man as aesthetically beautiful as Mr. Joshua being a nasty bully.  He’s so fucking pretty!  I love his proportions.  I love him smooth.  I swear, if you licked him, he’d taste like a peppermint patty (that sweet!).  So when he opens his mouth and out pours this torrent of scathing contempt, the soul crushing and unnecessary insistence on humiliating an obviously outmatched opponent… all delivered on a relentless IV drip of a hellishly sexy Boston accent… the contrasts to my senses are just so delicious.  The whole package (not just THE package) is just so thoroughly, beautifully, and uniquely Mr. Joshua.

Whatever Louie Lanza is thinking, he’s one lucky, lucky bastard!
Let me spare a word for lovely Louie, because although he gets absolutely and completely demolished, he’s got one thing going for him: he runs headlong into his humiliation.  What this kid’s story?!  He taunts Mr. J.  Now, let’s just review… little Louie (an inch shorter and 25 pounds skinnier) taunts powerhouse ring veteran, Mr. J.  He’s got nothing, nothing to put on the table to make this anything other than an uglyass obliteration (though both asses here are quite beautiful).  Now, he’s cute as a button (in a Jersey Shore kind of way), but that’s never been a weakness of Mr. J’s (someone needs to find Mr. J’s weakness!).  And even when Louie is basically getting his leg ripped off at the hip with his trunks yanked so high up his crack that you can almost see them down his throat when he opens his mouth and screams in pain, even then, Louie astonishingly taunts, “Is that all you’ve got!?”  I have two theories here.  1) Louie is a hardcore masochist.  I mean, he’s the sort of twink that likes straps and whips and hand crank electrical devices.  He wants to hurt.  He wants it really, really bad, and all he sees in front of him when Mr. J charges in is muscles expertly tuned to taking a piece of fluff like him to the limit of endurance.  And/or 2) Louie is a hardcore Mr. Joshua devotee (line starts right behind me, bitches!).  He’s watched Mr. J’s wrestling performances for years and wants nothing but to feel those hands on him.  He’s a Mr. Joshua freak who wants nothing but to know exactly how strong all of those muscles are (yeah, that one too, but he’ll have to keep guessing there…).  He’s nursing a Mr. J daddy-fantasy that, let’s face it, almost certainly was born the moment any of us saw Mr. J strap that studded collar around furious, but beaten Rocco’s neck and drag him into the private portion of the BG East facility to service his new master.
Is Louie aiming to follow in Rocco’s footsteps?
I like to think that Mr. J has a collection of lovely, lithe twinks with blond highlights at home, each with their own studded collars, thongs yanked up their cracks, and duties to perform in service of Mr. J.  Rocco, Chico Valdez, Randy Stanton, Jeremy Burk,  Austin Raines, now Louie Lanza, (hell, maybe that’s where muscle bunny beautiful Troy Baker disappeared to!?)… I picture them each in a thong, each charged with servicing Mr. J’s every whim morning, noon, and night.

There’s nothing epic in Demolition 15 for Mr. Joshua’s storyline, as far as I can tell.  He hasn’t offered his wildly tappable ass for a bar conquest to compete for, as he did with Randy Stanton.  He isn’t facing down an astonishingly hands on, nearly unstoppable Napolean-complexed drill sergeant like he did with Gino Liotta.  There’s no upperclassman bully session turned shockingly on its head this time, like there was with Austin Raines.  It’s just little Louie caught between a rock and a hard place, over and over again, and soaking up every ounce of punishment he can take from expertly outfitted Mr. Joshua Goodman.  Happy holidays, indeed!

Seeing the Lights on the Ceiling

I resist the strong temptation to select homoerotic wrestlers of the month as a lifetime achievement award.  Some work horses in the business have been consistently wrestling high quality matches for the long haul, but for my of-the-month title I try to consider only the matches released within the past month.  Cameron Mathews (listed also as Cameron “Matthews”) has been starring in inspired homoerotic wrestling matches for over 7 years since he debuted with BG East, including 25 matches in the ring, on the mats, in the gazebo, and in two of his own Wrestler Spotlight compilations. I’m not sure exactly when he started wrestling with Thunder’s Arena, but he’s appeared in an astonishing 25 matches for them, as well.  15 Cyberfights, 3 Can-Am matches, and directed and starred in 4 “East Coast” battles distributed by Can-Am.  This incredible list doesn’t even broach the subject of his mainstream indy pro wrestling resume (mostly because there’s just too many matches to count, but also because it’s fundamentally a step to the right of where my primary tastes lie).  If I ever start awarding lifetime achievement awards, Cameron is obviously an instant favorite!  But in the of-the-month head-to-heads, July 2012 was the month that Cameron twist-tied the competition around the ring post and came out on top as far as entertaining me hardest.

Cameron claimed the title and wrapped it up in a bow.
Sporting an astonishingly sexy body that’s miles away from this long, lean, even skinny days as a rookie, Cam owned my adoration for teaching fitness model goldenboy Austin Cooper to think twice before he climbs into the ring with an indy pro veteran.  While true, Austin ends up with his boot planted on Cameron’s chest, pumping out a victory flex, I’ve got eyes and ears and a hard-on primarily for the power, beauty, and above all, the story telling of my homoerotic wrestler of the month, Mr. Mathews.

Cam’s the man making Austin flinch in anticipation of his next beating
Warming my heart and turning me on even harder, I got a message from Cameron about a day after awarding him the title.  Like Cage Thunder last month, Cam thanked me and not-so-subtly pointed out that “it’s about time.”  Knowing that he’s reading neverland only cements my infatuation and loyalty for Mr. Mathews.  His willingness to join the conversation and grant me a brief interview demonstrates that he’s not only a hunk, not merely an outstanding ring wrestler, not just in possession of a world class ass, but he’s also a gentleman who’s got his fans in mind as he does his thing.  Here’s a glimpse of what’s going inside the head of the reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month, Cameron Mathews.
——–
Cameron Mathews – Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month
Bard: Thanks for agreeing to take some questions for neverland readers on the occasion of being selected as the reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month! Finding out that a favorite wrestler reads my blog fills me with both excitement and dread. If there’s anything I’ve written about you in the past that’s pissed you off, I apologize! Now, I know you’re busy, because you’ve got to be the hardest working wrestler on the planet! I only halfway track your live pro wrestling events, but with the amount of airtime you’ve had on DVD and internet wrestling sites, it seems like you’re wrestling 24/7! What keeps you focused and getting your butt back on the road for your next match?

Cameron gets creative all over Austin’s back

Cameron: I think what keeps me going with wrestling is that it is fun. Even when I have a “bad” match I still have fun. I enjoy being creative. I enjoy being the first, or one of the only people who can do things. I like learning. There’s always something to learn and always something to improve on…or try doing differently.

Bard: Very cool! Your creativity and innovative spirit is clearly evident to me! Speaking of butts (see how I worked that in so smoothly?), yours generated a collective gasp, sigh, and then several grunts from the legions of gay wrestling fans the first time we saw you wrestling for companies like BG East, Thunder’s Arena, and Can Am. Do you wrestle any differently when you know that your audience is primarily gay, as opposed to when you’re doing shows in front of (presumably) straight audiences?

That….. ASS!!!!!

Cameron: Ha-ha on the smooth transition. The matches in front of a live audience have to be more varied than the studio matches due to time restraints, audience attention span, and other factors. Pro matches are expected to be exciting and quick, especially on television. With a studio match you are able to tell a better story. More drama. More detail. I prefer longer matches.

At least on camera, Cam gets “impolite”
with fitness star Rio Garza.

Bard: Me, too! I love a good story and lots of drama in wrestling, and I think you’re one of the best at doing just that. I’m guessing that you must be good to work with, because you’ve worked with pretty much everyone and they seem to keep asking you back. Based on that premise, I’m also deducing that you’re a genuine professional, in the best sense of the word, and you probably don’t often talk shit about other wrestlers. So I won’t ask you to name any names… just tell us some backstage dirt on some of the boys you’ve worked with. You’ve wrestled everyone!

Cameron: I try to be a polite when I’m in new places. I am actually probably the one you hear stories about [laughing]. I am passionate about wrestling. As for the other guys, that is their business. There are guys out there that I do not get along with. Both in pro and studio. I try to remain professional and polite. It doesn’t always work.

Bard: Very diplomatically stated! Surely you can name some names when it comes to who’s been the best to work with. I interviewed Lon Dumont a year and a half ago, and he certainly speaks highly of you. Do you strike up any real friendships with other wrestlers in the crazy busy schedule you keep?

Cameron and Big Sexy stay in touch.

Cameron: As for some people I’ve become friendly with, Big Sexy is a good friend and badass fighter. Lon was my first real pro wrestling trainer when I was 14. He’s actually helped get me in shape. Coupe from Thunders is a great guy. Zman is always fun to be around. Always smiling and wanting to try crazy wrestling ideas. Jonny Firestorm is probably the person I most relate to. Just really started to chat and hang out with him more often. Aryx Quinn and I stay in contact. He’s always traveling North America. I enjoy all the guys who run the products. They are all unique and smart men.

Bard: Good to hear! That’s a diverse collection of guys that you’ve connected with. So your physique in your newly released match with Austin Cooper for Babyface Brawl 2 is astonishing! Not that you haven’t always been a stunning looking specimen, but damn! Have you been on a new diet or training differently lately? Do you see the transformation in yourself that so many fans have been appreciating?

Lon Dumont whipped Cam’s muscles
into shape (and charged him for the privilege!)

Cameron: Like I mentioned, Lon worked with me on a diet and workout plan. Even charged me! I actually got “too lean” so I stopped doing the diet. Well-worth the price though. He is extremely talented.

Bard: I seem to remember from Lon’s first BGE match him explaining, “I don’t just give this away for free.” Apparently that goes both for flexing and for training! I’m sure you hear more than you can stand from fans and critics about what they want to see more of from you. Armchair critiques (and I freely admit I’m one of the worst offenders) seem to have a never-ending stream of opinions about wrestling and wrestlers. From your side of the equation, though, what would you like to see or hear more of from fans of wrestling? More praise? Less pirating? More appreciation for the athletes, the injuries… what would you wish for fans to “get” more about the work that you do?

Cameron: I’ve been wrestling professionally for like 12 years now and I just read from a blogger that I was “green.” He reassured everyone who read that I had lots of potential and was good. I’ve been told I am good. I’ve been told I suck. I’ve been told I am good…all in a few weeks by different pro wrestling “names”. If I suck, tell me why I suck. I’ve always disliked hearing that there was nothing that I could’ve done better…because that was a lie. With that being said, if you don’t like me tell me what I can do better. If I’m good, tell me you like it. I don’t know what people like. I know what I’d like to do or expect to see…or not expect to see. It’s all trial and error.

Bard: That sounds like a healthy and extremely mature attitude. I’ll take that as my cue to keep reviewing and critiquing (and praising!) your work. Like I said when I named you reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month at neverland, I love your sense of humor, your rocking body, your awesome sell… you’re a star, which makes your willingness to take a few questions from me an absolute thrill for me. Is there anything else that you’d like to say to your gay fans out there that have been dropping me notes over the past few days telling me that it’s about goddamn time I recognized you as homoerotic wrestler of the month?

Cameron: I received a text from Al in New Jersey to check out the blog. I read the article and looked at the sidebar but didn’t really “catch on” until the end. It was very cool to be given that honor…and it only took 7 and a half years to do it [laughing]. I actually texted Lon about it.

Bard: Well, in my own defense, I’ve only been blogging for 3 years, and I’ve only been naming homoerotic wrestlers of the month for 2 years. But your point is well taken and something I’ve heard frequently from your fans in the past couple of days. It’s about time you got your well-earned honors!

Cameron: As for my fans, whether gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, asexual or undecided…I just am glad that I have been allowed to live the dream of being a pro wrestler and seeing the world. I don’t think I could’ve done so much had I not been exposed to wrestling, both pro and film. So thank you for letting me see the lights, even if they are on the ceiling.

Bard: I’m a huge fan of wrestlers being exposed! And I’m officially a huge fan of yours. Thanks a lot, Cameron!

Joshua Goodman is hell-bent on giving Cameron more exposure!

Cameron: I’ll also be opening a new site sometime but thats neither here nor there. Thank you again.

Bard: I look forward to hearing about the new site!

Magnificent Black Muscle God

What else would you do if a gorgeous homoerotic wrestling hunk sent you photographs of his ripped body and monster cock struggling to break free from the confines of his gear? Ask him for an interview, of course. That’s precisely what I did after Darius provided graphic evidence that we should all be pulling for him to come out on top of that schoolboy pin jack-off session in a head-to-head with Steel Muscle God.  Darius offers up some news, some predictions, and just a couple hints of behind the scenes questions that have burned a whole in the crotch of my pants for years.
——–

Darius: 5’10”, 198 lbs., 48″, 18″, 10″
Bard: Hey Darius! Thanks so much for taking the time to answer some questions for neverland readers. BG East fans know you from a couple of matches there, but I’ve seen several pics you’ve posted in wrestling forums and on Facebook that demonstrate that you have a lot more wrestling experience than just those two BG East matches. What’s your wrestling background? How often do you wrestle these days?


Darius Muscle Jobber Magnificent

Darius: I did some wrestling in high school but didn’t get into pro until a friend of mine, Henry, told me that I would make one hot jobber. So we went to Texas and did a couple of matches for Commando Sports Wrestling. First time in a ring for me. Took on one of their veteran heels and their champion. The DVD was called Darius Muscle Jobber Magnificent. Heard the video sold pretty good. From there I was hooked. Now I wrestle around once a week with some good friends.

Bard: Sounds like quite an initiation into pro wrestling! I’m looking up that DVD immediately! Your body is… wow, I don’t even know how to finish that sentence! Your muscles take my breath away, and in every image and video I’ve seen of you, your fitness is phenomenal! Have you had wrestling opponents who get distracted with the irrepressible urge to veer into muscle worship?

Darius: I don’t wear clothing that reveals much of my body. It’s when I strip off the clothing that my opponents’ eyes open up wide. Being a male escort on the side, I get a lot of requests for body worship, which I just love. Not to say that during and after my matches there isn’t some body worship. I guess it’s my posing that caught the eye of one modeling company, which I did a shoot for.

Darius is a Muscle Model, too!

Bard: What part of your physique do opponents or clients seem to fixate on most? Is it a turn on for you to bring a man to his knees just by flexing those pythons you call arms (and don’t even try to tell me that’s never happened!)?

Darius: I think it’s my abs that get the most attention from my opponents. Before the match starts, I can see their eyes focusing on my abs. They seem to love to try to break them down. They work me over good with punches, elbow drops, claws etc. And to tell you the truth, I just love having them worked over. When I do flex my pythons my opponent are mostly like already done on the mat after their defeat.

Bard: Speaking of pythons, thanks again for the pics you sent me recently in response to my fantasy about where things might go in a match between you and internet muscleman, Steel Muscle God. Wow! WOW! I just want to clarify that my fantasy of you on your back and SMG schoolboy pinning you and stroking himself to ecstasy while you palm his pecs was, in no way, meant to suggest that I’m assuming you’d lose the match. What do you think would be your biggest challenge in conquering SMG? How do you think a head-to-head against him would go?

Darius: Would be one awesome match to have with SMG. I think I would be his biggest threat to take him down for the count. No question, I would have to stay away from getting trapped in between his massive legs. Once you are trapped in them, there might not be any escape. On the other side, he would have to watch out for getting crushed by my arms in a bearhug. I have not had anyone get out of my bearhug once applied. I love to see the expression on my opponent’s face as my arms wrap around their body as it’s slowly lifted off the mat and the crushing begins. The expression of helplessness comes across their face quickly as they know they are done.

SMG’s bone crunching scissors vs.
Darius’ rib crushing bearhug!?

Bard: That would be a barnburner and a crowd pleaser, seeing whether it would be your bearhug or SMG’s scissors coming out on top! With the visual aids you sent, I can easily see the scenario I described in my recent post reversed and you turning out on top of that schoolboy pin! The idea of SMG being forced to show some respect and administer a little body worship of his own makes me a little dizzy with anticipation. I think you could very well be the muscleman to make SMG tear his eyes away from admiring himself when he gets a look at your huge pecs! Any more news about whether you’ll have a chance to test SMG’s steel muscles on the mat anytime soon?

Darius: You may think, but I know I will make SMG see for himself who is the true Muscle God. He will be on his knees looking up at this Black Muscle God as I pose before him. Right after this interview I will try to contact him about his visit and the match. Will let you know what he says.

Bard: Fantastic! I’m breathless in anticipation of the news! You both have awesome enthusiasm for wrestling and charisma to match your smoking hot bods! Okay, so I’m finding myself distracted as we speak, as I browse some of your pics! BG East reports that you’re 5’9″ tall and 184 lbs. Is that about right? Are their any other measurements you’d be willing to tell us to help us appreciate your fine, fine body?

Darius: Right now my stats is 5’10”, 198lbs. My chest is 48, arms 18, and 6 pack abs. And another muscle part at 10 inches… and thick. And one smooth ass.

One fine, fine, fine smooth ass!

Bard: My, oh my! Somehow getting a run down on your numbers has failed to do anything about my complete distraction! I hope a measuring tape is involved when you and SMG go at it! So far at BG East, you’ve only faced two opponents. First you went pec to pec with the subject of frequent posts here at neverland: Mr. Joshua Goodman. The website description for the match mentions that you’ve boasted about your capacity to take just as impressively as you can give, and you definitely deliver on that promise against Mr. J. The sight of you suffering in the ropes is just… so… damn… hot! What do you think it is that makes fans of homoerotic wrestling so turned on by seeing such a powerful physique like yours vulnerable and dominated?

Darius: When I first contacted BG about doing a match for them, Kid Leopard already knew in his head that I would make one hot jobber. In my mind, you don’t see many black muscle men that can make a hot jobber. The sight of my body getting worked over and pinned or submitted is a turn on for my opponents, and, you know, for me also. No question, in my match with Joshua he just loved working me over. The scene with me trapped in the ropes and him working me over was dam hot. And as you can see he didn’t hold back from smashing his fists and forearms into my abs and pecs. You could hear the sound of his fist slamming into my abs all over the room. My body was so red after the match. Got many emails from fans telling me how much they love seeing me lose my matches. They tell me I sell it so well, my facial expressions, the pain… they can’t get enough of it. That makes me feel good and willing to oblige my fans.

Darius suffers in the ropes as Mr. Joshua hammers down

Bard: Without a doubt, you are nothing short of breathtaking when all of those muscles of yours are tied up and suffering sweetly! And I love your attitude. Your commitment to your fans is probably what makes you sell so well! I think you’re the first wrestler I’ve interviewed who’s faced Mr. Joshua in the ring. You got an extremely up close and personal look at that legendary package of his. Are his balls as behemoth in person as they look on DVD? Please tell me you got a behind the scenes look at what Mr. J packs in those trunks!

Darius gets an up close look at Mr. J’s package

Darius: Not one tells what goes on behind the scenes, but just let’s say that what they say about him is true. But I can honestly say that mine are bigger.

Bard:  I’d like to be judge of that! Mr. Joshua has been teasing us for years with that pendulous package of his, shoving his hand down his trunks, shoving his balls in opponents’ faces, nearly spilling out of the confines of his gear. But we’ve never actually seen his pride and joy in the flesh, and the only opponent who has managed to conquer and strip him of his trunks refused to share what he discovered lurking under there. From what I’ve seen of the pics you shared with us here, cock watch fans would bust a gut to see in action that lead pipe you’re swinging! Is there any chance we’ll ever see you wrestle naked?

Darius: Well, first let me say I’m glad you like the pictures that I sent you. Been asked by a few companies to do some naked wrestling; Naked Kombat was one (which I heard is now out of business), BWN out of Atlanta, and of course BG. I have said no to all of them. I guess I’m just not ready to go that route just yet. Not saying it will not be possible in the near future. I did my first photo shoot for Paragonmen, and it was the first time I did nude shoots, which I am sending to you right now. So maybe nude wrestling might come along soon. For now you just have to use your imagination.

Bard: I pride myself on having an extremely capable wrestling imagination, so there’s no problem there. But I’m latching onto the words “just yet,” in your answer, and I’m officially lobbying hard to convince you to tackle a strip stakes match! The only other appearance that BG East has released so far of your work is your backyard brawl against that skinny boxer punk, Jayden Mayne. This match truly astonished me, first of all because the contrast between you and Jayden is just breathtaking. I’d swear you could snap the kid like a twig without breaking a sweat. But the second astonishing thing is that, although you fucking own Jayden for most of the scrap, he drops you with a couple of low blows and then, shockingly, chokes you out cold with those long, lithe legs of his. Fuck! What were you thinking when you woke up from that one?

Darius: Yeah, you would never think by looking at our pictures that the skinny punk would ever have a chance on taking down a muscle man like me. But that’s what makes wrestling so much fun. The fantasy of someone like Jayden taking someone down, someone like me, could only happen in pro wrestling. And that makes it so much fun for me and my fans. Of course you knew the only way he was going to do it was to cheat, and cheat he did. I believe it was his very first win for BGE. I have to give it to him, his legs are long and skinny, but they are powerful. He had me trapped in good, and I knew it was only a matter of time that this muscle man was going to go out cold. After slowly coming too, could only think that what I thought was going to be an easy win didn’t happen, and my losing streak continues for BGE.

“…fucking hot!”

Bard: I definitely find Jayden to be a hot little fucker who comes across as dangerous, which he demonstrates in taking you down! His figure-4 choke on you is extremely hot to watch, and hearing what it was like from your perspective is simply scorching! So, I hope you don’t mind me saying that as much as I’m infatuated with your gorgeous body from head to toe, your ass has played a starring role in several wrestling fantasies of mine! The moment that you had Mr. Joshua’s head locked-in high and tight between your legs, and then you rolled up to your knees and leaned back… damn, chisel that image in stone and install it in the Louvre, because that’s nothing but a world class work of art! Among the current roster of cocky egos and hard bodies at BG East, who do you think is most deserving of getting a humiliating, up close view of your muscled glutes like that?

Darius: Man, the sight of Joshua trapped between my legs, moaning as I put on the pressure trying to get a submission from him was fucking hot. I just wish I could have heard his submission. The BGE roster is full of hunks that I would love the chance to take down and pose over their defeated bodies. Bulldog Barzini, the cocky Cole Cassidy, The Enforcer (someone you just mentioned recently on your blog). Kid Karisma is one heck of a wrestler, and on the top of my list Tyrell Tomsen. You don’t see many matches pitting one Black Muscle God against another Black Muscle God. This would be one hell of a match. Shit, I would pay to get it done.

Tyrell Tomsen vs. Darius: Black Muscle God vs. Black Muscle God!

Bard: I’ll pre-order 3 copies today! I’ve seen your comments in chat forums calling out big Tyrell. Damn that would be a dream match up! Good god, all that gorgeous muscle locked in combat! As a fan and frequent reviewer of homoerotic wrestling, it seems to me that the industry has often neglected to feature men of color. Would you agree, and if so, why do you think that is?

Hoping we see more of Darius being a Magnificent Muscle Jobber!

Darius: They are neglected because there are not many around. Black guys like to wrestle, but I think it’s mostly in private and not in public. I think there is a big opportunity for black guys to show what they got and let many fans of black men see them. I have wrestled many black guys in private, but mention to them about taking pics or doing video and it’s a big “no.” I, myself, have no problem showing off my body and letting guys fantasies come alive. Maybe someday that will change.

Bard: Fascinating! I hope that both the audience calling for more black wrestling hunks and the roster of said wrestlers grows. I know that I speak for a whole lot of wrestling fans when I say that I’m absolutely aching to see more of you, and to see more of your wrestling, in the future. Are you slated for any more work with BG East? Is there anywhere else fans can go to enjoy you in wrestling action?

Darius: Right now I have nothing planned, but things do change quickly in this business. BGE has 3 more of my matches in their vault, hopefully they will release another one soon.

Bard: Is there anything else you’d like Darius fans to know?

Wrestle that!

Darius:  Not really… well maybe one. If you ever dreamed of taking on a muscle black stud like me in a wrestling match, I am available for a fee to do private matches. And that would include any type of fantasy match you have in mind, including nude wrestling. Lastly I would like to take time to thank all my fans out there. I truly appreciate all of you who take the time and effort to watch me wrestle, sending me emails, which I do like and do respond to. And if anyone has a request for me, they can send it to my email at DARIUSBLKMUSCLES@YAHOO.COM.

Bard: You are a gorgeous man, a thrilling wrestler, and quite a gentleman for your willingness to chat with me today. I wish you many, many, many more scorching hot wrestling matches to come, and I hope that you get all of the encouragement that you need to convince you to go on camera and wrestle naked! I’d love to see the look on your opponent’s face when he sees what he’s up against! Best of luck, and stay in touch with us at neverland. 

Darius: Bard, you know I do enjoy reading your blog and responding to them also. Keep up the good work.

Short Cuts

I won’t name names, because that ALWAYS gets me in more trouble than it’s worth. I’ll just say that the same disappointing thought has occurred to me more than once recently as I’ve been sampling homoerotic wrestling new releases.  This recurring thought is, Grabbing crotch does not make wrestling homoerotic.

100% homoerotic wrestling featuring (among many other elements) Mitch Colby grabbing Derek da Silva’s crotch in Crotch Crushers 1.

Do you know what I mean? I’ve seen an anecdotal rise in the number of wrestling products marketed to you and me in which the most homo and/or erotic content is almost entirely limited to a crotch grab. Now, I love a nice crotch grab. That goes for all sorts of contexts and purposes, actually.  The feel of a pulsing, raging cock in my hand is absolutely intoxicating! Two raging cocks in my hand, and I’m guaranteed to have a hangover the next morning. I do not have anything at all against the homoeroticism of taking another man’s cock firmly in hand, per se.

Jobe Zander looks like he’s searching for his keys at the bottom of his purse in Can-Am’s DeCrotchery 3

But my beef, so to speak, is the over reliance on this device to sell wrestling as gay. I realize that there’s a sub-fetish contingent out there with a particular kink for watching and/or experiencing cock abuse. While I don’t count myself in that particular tribe, I can appreciate and get turned on by some cock control as a tool of soul crushing erotic domination. But if that’s really the only element in a match that might distinguish it from a TBS prime time mainstream episode of plasticized canned wrestling drama, then it’s just got one toe on our side of the fence, as far as I’m concerned.

Gino Liotta and Joshua Goodman engage in mutual crotch crushing as just one element of steamy action in Crotch Crushers 2.

Running across a bevy of barely homoerotic wrestling trying to take a short cut with crotch shots as credentials for checking in with you and me as gay-oriented has started to grate on my nerves.  So sure, you squeezed his balls… if you’ve got a disinterested look on your face, it sort of douses the heat. You grabbed a handful of whatever is stuffed down the front of his trunks, okay. But, if neither your hand nor his suffering seem to sell me that you’re about to rip him apart out of a primal lust to own his muscled body, then the stagecraft wears thin.

Friend of neverland, Ben Monaco, convinces me long before he goes for Alex Arias’ crotch that he’s all-in for homoerotic wrestling in Mat Rookies 1!

All this begs the question, of course, what it is that distinguishes some wrestling as homoerotic and others as something else. Of course, mainstream wrestling can turn me on (when it isn’t pissing me off with over-the-top homophobia). Just about any wrestling itself speaks to me as homoerotic almost by definition.  But I propose that there’s an ontologically different beast that is homoerotic wrestling. I’ve danced around this topic many times in the past. It’s a know-when-I-see-it sort of concept, in large part. It also overlaps with the cliche of “chemistry” between wrestlers, which is nearly impossible to quantify but, nevertheless, is unmistakable when its absent. I don’t know that I can put a finger on the baseline requirements (for me), but what makes something distinctively homoerotic wrestling always hits me on many levels.

Muscleboy Tyler St. James checks for a hernia in Pro Sex Fight 8.

Of course, explicit sexuality never hurts to sell wrestling as homoerotic. A suck, a fuck, a kiss even (especially), and I’m a long way to being sold that this wrestling is all about me and my kink. Hell, just having the boys talk openly about the eroticism hanging in the air between them is plenty to suck me in, and when it’s done right, eroticized banter will rev me up a hundred times hotter than an going-through-the-motions post-match fuck.

Reese Wells works 5 different angles at once in dishing out dominating abuse over  Jobe Zander’s package in Ball Busters 1.

It doesn’t require explicitness, though. It can be the fixed gaze of one wrestler and the self-conscious glance at the ground by the other that piques my homoerotic wrestling gaydar. It can be the intimacy of the setting, the gear, the lighting even, that contribute to making me recognize that this is homoerotic wrestling.  It can, and often is, one wrestler so narcissistic that he convinces me that, if humanly possible, he’d fuck himself into a stupor if that annoying opponent of his would just get the fuck out of his face.

Michael Vineland works the joystick from behind in Pro Sex Fight 8.

The best in the business push the homoerotic button from the instant the camera brings them into focus. Homoerotic wrestlers of the month Cage Thunder and (spoiler alert… keep reading at your own risk… oh, wait, too late!) Lightning Rod aka KV are beautiful examples. A half a second after I see their eyes lock onto the body of their opponents like sizing up a juicy filet, I understand without a doubt that the combat that’s about to unfold is first and foremost sexual. They communicate a hunger to grab hold of and consume their opponent that’s instantly arousing. The crotch grab is perfectly homoerotic when they latch on and threaten to rip an opponent out by the roots, because of everything else they’ve done to make it clear that they get off on this!

In Ball Bash 2, Reese Wells gets harder the more vicious Jonny Firestorm attacks his crotch! Now that’s homoerotic and hot!

There are plenty of wrestling products that push me way over the edge without ever veering into crotch grabs, fucking, or nudity even. They’re often completely homoerotic in my eyes for a dozen other elements that signal to me that this isn’t wrestling for 8 year-old boys with g-rated comic book fantasies of heroes and villains.  And equally as true, a gratuitous ball claw or tug at a cock is seldom the end-game for landing a wrestling match firmly within the circle of what I consider gay-themed, for gay eyes, wrestling kink, or homoerotic.

Unmasked and unsheathed, Stinger swells with excitement as Homoerotic Wrestlers of the Month Cage Thunder and Lightning Rod batter his stinger mercilessly.

As the photos I’ve attached to this post illustrate, the crotch grab is a delightfully hot tool in the tool belt of the accomplished homoerotic wrestler.  When it’s dished out in measured quantity, it’s fantastic! When placed as an integral component of an onslaught of unmistakably homoerotic content, the crotch grab is often precisely the point at which I lose all self-restraint. However, and I’m not naming names, but I just need to say it: solely based on a wrestler grabbing his opponent’s crotch, it doesn’t make it homoerotic wrestling. A one-trick pony gimmick in an otherwise lukewarm bath of run of the mill wrestling does not a homoerotic wrestling match make.

Still-Frame Fantasies

I’ve been working my ass off so hard that the month of May is pretty much a wash when it comes to my favorite past-time: checking out new homoerotic wrestling releases. I’m just throwing in the towel and putting an asterisk in the homoerotic wrestler of the month competition for May 2012. The throne will remain empty for the month.  I have a strong suspicion that there will be a new title holder once June has played out, however. BG East has released Catalog 93, and it’s packed with some of my long time fantasyman crushes as well as more recent infatuations, any one of which could (and most of them have) easily bitchslapped the competition and claim the title. I’m also entranced with the hotness of new Rock Hard wrestler Britboy Will Stanley landing just in time for the queen’s diamond jubilee. Only 5 days into the month and based solely on still-frame fantasies, here are the immediate front runners for June’s title.
Denny Cartier crotch pins Joah Bindao

Denny’s back! Just the photos alone of hot Denny Cartier can tide me over, and in his Gazebo Grapplers 13 appearance he’s looking tastier than ever. Those eyes, that smile, the dimpled chin, wide strong shoulders, gorgeous chest, luscious ass, strong legs, and look at those forearms… all of that and some of the highest quality grappling I love, and Denny could easily be a 2-time homoerotic wrestler of the month. And hot little muscleman Joah Bindao is definitely a rising stock.

Jake Jenkins threatens to dismember Jayden Mayne
Gazebo Grapplers 13 is catching me eye from start to finish, including Jake Jenkins looking possibly hotter than I’ve ever seen. Is it the trunks? Is it that hot, “monkey boy” body? Is it that his eyes looking like he’s about to carve into Thanksgiving turkey as he stares down handsome scrapper, Jayden?  Jake’s done it once and could easily do it again, wrestling his way into another homoerotic wrestler of the month title.
Joshua Goodman’s crotch might choke out Christopher Bruce!

And yet another Gazebo Grapplers 13 match is turning my crank in still-frame! Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) could read the phone book and I’d be off before he got to Aanerud (as long as he’s in nothing but those skimpy white trunks)! I’ve never seen a Mr. Joshua match that fails to make me weak in the knees, and pitting him against perennial powerhouse and sexy thinker Christopher Bruce could easily propel either of these men into the lead.  It seems impossible that Mr. Joshua has not yet owned the title of homoerotic wrestler of the month. Could his Susan Lucci moment arrive in June?

Stinger in trouble from every angle!

My, oh my, Masked Mayhem 7 could be a superhero homoerotic wrestling fantasy for the record books! Lean, sexy Stinger’s partner doesn’t show up, and the brave masked man agrees to face both legendary heel Cage Thunder and his new tag partner, unmistakably menacing long, hard hottie Lightning Rod. Cage Thunder has yet to own the title of homoerotic wrestler of the month on these pages, but could this be the month on the strength of what looks like an astonishingly sexy, brutal double-team?

Skip Vance in agony under the control of Kid Karisma

Speaking of astonishingly sexy, the pairing of incredibly hot champion jobber, Skip Vance and my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy division), Kid Karisma, has the potential to be epic! I’ve lobbied the boys at BG East for a long-overdue Wrestler Spotlight starring Kid K’s world class muscle ass! Skip hasn’t held the title, but Kid K was living large and in charge as homoerotic wrestler of the month 11 months ago. Either of these stunners could easily own it this month.

Fiercely hot newbie Diego Diaz launches Morgan Cruise
Neither Morgan Cruise nor newbie heartthrob Diego Diaz have held the homoerotic wrestler of the month title yet, but I could easily see their face-off for Morgan’s Spotlight earning one of them the distinction for June. Hurricane Morgan is like a force of nature lately, leveling every hot, hunky face placed in his way. And ripped, snarling, Latino powerhouse Diego has captured my imagination like no current newcomer. It’s a rare feat to be homoerotic wrestler of the month on the strength of just 2 matches, but the Latino giant could definitely make that happen.

Mitch Colby makes batboy Aryx Qinn pucker up
Mitch Colby has owned every title I could ever dream up. If Mitch and Diego Diaz were to ever tag team,   my life could very well be complete. In the mean time, his hairy chested, sweat soaked ring pounding with Aryx Quinn makes Mitch an instant contender for a 2nd trip to the winner’s circle.
Austin sweats through his jock while he shows off Patrick Donovan’s best side.

Austin Cooper is everywhere lately! For sheer ironman hotness (not to mention Goldenboy beauty and a top notch bubble butt) Austin is a contender for the title he has yet to possess. And Patrick Donovan is an instant contender, and I strongly suspect that Patrick has made a pact with Satan, because he’s done nothing but get sexier and more gorgeous with each and every match he’s wrestled in his long and lustrous career! That ass alone deserves a title, and he could absolutely deserve the homoerotic wrestler of the month title for his Matmen 23 face-off with the Goldenboy.

Austin does chiropractic work on Britboy rookie Will Stanley.

And my last instant infatuation for the first 5 days of June is Rock Hard Wrestling’s rookie lovely, Will Stanley. See, Austin’s back (making for 2 nominations for the title this month), but like Joe, I’m immediately craving a closer look at handsome, ripped hunk Will Stanley. That body, that ink, that face, AND an accent? Nostalgia alone could tip the scales to Will Stanley, Esquire, in honor of the queen’s diamond jubilee.

Hot, hot, hot start to summer, homoerotic wrestling fans!

Make Me Feel It!

Rolando delivers the whacks on Mike Paris in BG East’s Ringwars 7
I know somebody who needs a spanking today… and that somebody is me!
Bruce Hill and Trenton Comeaux bend over and take it
like men from Eduardo in Can-Am’s All American Oil Trio Muscle Bash
It’s my birthday! I love my birthdays. I have friends who dread them, but I’ve never had a birthday that I didn’t look forward to. You know what they say about the alternative. Another year older is another year not being dead yet, and I love life. So bring on spanking!
It must have been Peter Bishop’s birthday when he wrestled Dino Phillips
in BG East’s X-Fights 11
Normally, spanking isn’t exactly my thing. I mean, physical domination and humiliation works for me (like I need to tell a neverland reader that!), but spanking for the sake of spanking isn’t at the top of my list of what I need. But a birthday isn’t a typical day, and particularly after searching for some hot photos of homoerotic wrestlers leaving a handprint on some shiny, bare assess, I know what I’m wishing for as I blow out my birthday cake candles. 
Brad Rochelle leaves a mark on Billyboy’s vulnerable cheeks in BG East’s Demolition 2
I had decided to come up with a list (because I seem to be all about lists and awards lately) of the homoerotic wrestlers I’d most prefer to deliver my whacks. The image of Brad Rochelle’s fingerprints outlined in angry red across Billyboy’s lucky ass in BG East’s Demolition 2 quickly popped into my mind. I’d lie about it being my birthday once a month if it meant I’d be forced to assume the position across Brad’s thigh!
Cameron Mathews won’t soon forget to call him
Mr. Joshua after his Wrestler Spotlight encounter

My perpetual crush on BG East’s Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) makes me strongly identify with the lucky, lovely bubble butt of Cameron Mathews getting wedgied and swatted a hot red under the complete control of Mr. Joshua’s gorgeous body for Cameron’s Wrestler Spotlight.  I’d refuse to call him “Mr. Joshua” for at least 42 whacks (or so), just to soak in the sublime ecstasy of suffering a Joshua Goodman humiliation!

Love hurts in BG East’s Sexy Showdown 6

The image of ripped, studly twink Skip Vance landing a cracking open palm across his lover’s naked ass in BG East’s Sexy Showdown 6 works for me as well, with extra credit for the fact that the lanky lover getting spanked here is none other than reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month, Christian Taylor (aka Chris Cox).  The sweetest birthday present of all would probably be joining in on this intensely erotic homo wrestling fun, trading places with each of these gorgeous boys giving and taking my butt clenching smacks!

Skip gets it back from Mike Martin in BG East’s Wet & Wild 4 

Of course, Skip taking his whacks is also an inspiring sight, with handsome hottie Mike Martin sitting on his face and yanking down his trunks. Yep, this would be my choice of the preferred position for me to be forced to assume for my birthday spanking.

Kid Karisma leaves Z-Man’s glutes quivering in Summer Sizzlers 2
But all right, if I have to pick the one homoerotic wrestling hunk to make celebrating hurt so good… if I’m backed into a corner and required to pick just one out of the lineup of my favorite wrestlers to star in my own personal spanking birthday fantasy, truth be told, I’d pick my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy), Kid Karisma. The reasons are many, but first and foremost, Kid K clearly enjoys the task… a lot!  His evil laughter at yanking Z-Man’s trunks up his crack and making the playboy model spasm in shock at the hard swat sends chills down my spine while warming my crotch delightfully.

Headscissors-as-excuse for an ass slapping.
Kid Karisma absolutely tenderized the twinky ass of fierce little Len Harder for boatloads of Florida Fun. From just about every angle, Kid K beat on Len’s skinny ass relentlessly.
Fold-over face-pin underneath Kid K’s crotch? Just another opportunity to slap ass!
And as Kid Karisma himself made quite clear, he’s nothing if not the life of the party. So definitely, to celebrate my day I’m thinking of a certain red-headed, musclebound, freckle faced, bubble-butted beauty to pin me down, sit on my face, and pound out slow, nothing-held-back whacks across my bare ass, raising a perfectly harmonized chorus of my cries of pain and Kid K’s rumbles of sadistic laughter.

Then let’s turn down the lights, turn up the house music, and dance until I drop on my bright red, aching, happy ass in exhaustion! Life is good!