Winning Assets

Reigning Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month & overall Favorite Homoerotic Wrestler Kid Karisma.

When the stars align and my homoerotic wrestler of the month is also my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestling overall, it’s time to sit back and appreciate what makes a particular hunk so dominant in my affections. There are a lot of stunning attributes to Kid Karisma, many of which I don’t mention nearly enough.  Those glacial blue eyes are riveting. There are not nearly enough hot, hunky gingers populating homoerotic wrestling, so again, Kid K fills a necessary role in what turns me on.  And he suggested in my interview with him a while back that he’s actually particularly proud of his mammoth horseshoe triceps. But let’s face it, there will never be enough said, nor enough photographic studies done to exhaust the wonder that is his stunning ass.  So, again I say, let’s face it…

Stunningly sexy and sweaty in a perfectly fit jock strap in Gear Wars 1.
Skip Vance enthusiastically studies the front end as we get a breathtaking shot of that award winning backend, flexed and fantastic in Matmen 23.
Functional strength is one of the lesser appreciated aspects of these incredibly built glutes, but Kid Karisma made full use of that power in his Spotlight match against Pete Sharp.
He inaugurated the Forced to Flex series by doing exactly that to Brad Barnes, but check out the flex of those glutes as he hangs the sweaty bodybuilder out to dry in a bearhug.
Another double pleasure shot, treating Blaine Janus to a close up inspection of his crotch while giving the rest of us another long, lingering look at that perfectly shaped derriere in Gazebo Grapplers 16.
Perhaps those muscles are never so blindingly hot as when Kid K is writhing in a pool of his own sweat in the middle of the ring, which is exactly where massive mountain Dev Michaels left him in Kid K’s Wrestler Spotlight match.
The Undagear 22 match that earned him this month’s HWOTM title, Kid K definitely bared it all in the end, but every step along the way was a feast for butt lovers. Ray Naylor not only got his hands on those two slices of heaven, he managed to momentarily turn that moneymaker into a couple of quivering, vulnerable mounds of exquisite beauty and power tamed… briefly.

Do You See What I See?

Tis the season for shiny, dangling balls, so what better way to celebrate than a new release starring long-time infatuation of mine, Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!!!).

Mr. Joshua’s baubles make me feel all warm inside on a cold winter night!

Mr. J’s latest jaunt into the ring occurs on BG East’s new release Demolition 15.  He and his giant baubles square off against bewilderingly squashable Louie Lanza, a newbie that looks like Mr. Joshua could break in half with a stern look.  I know (really, I KNOW) to expect to be awed by Mr. J’s pendulous package.  I’ve appreciated its every bounce and wiggle, sway and swing in dozens of matches already.  I live in constant unrequited lust to see his trunk monster released from it’s bonds, so of course I’m prepared to be impressed all over again anytime he climbs into the ring or onto the mat.  And still, I experience a little gasp of shock when he shows up in those insanely tight plastic-wrap-style metallic silver trunks.

Lovely Louie holds his breath when he feels Mr. J sliding into position behind him.

There are probably few professions in which an endowment like Mr. J’s most prominent one can be quite so explicitly advantageous.  Exotic dancing.  Porn.  Underwear model for gay men (because if he modeled for straights, you know they’d be completely freaked out and insecure).  But thank Santa that Mr. J has found the niche in which his beauteous bulge is surely most appreciated, the homoerotic wrestling ring.

Mr. J controls his newest twink conquest by a handful of hair and another handful of trunks.

I love a good squash, mind you, so any compilation that includes Mr. J facing an achingly fragile-looking newbie who, let’s face it, just looks like he’s desperate to get his ass kicked, is going to be a crowd pleaser.  This is, in my estimation, a good squash.  Now, I prefer Mr. J in a more competitive scenario.  To be completely honest, I really, really prefer Mr. J outmatched, owned, and stripped naked by a hungry hunk guaranteed to be my personal hero for life, although that preference has never been fulfilled.  However, as he proves in his systematic destruction of lovely Louie, Mr. J carries off the role of muscle-bully exceedingly well.

It’s possible to get so distracted by his bulge that you miss the fact that Mr. J is pristinely gorgeous from head to toe!

I’m certain that my infatuation with Mr. J is far from exclusively explained by the mountain in the front of his trunks.  In fact, there’s something intoxicating to me about a man as aesthetically beautiful as Mr. Joshua being a nasty bully.  He’s so fucking pretty!  I love his proportions.  I love him smooth.  I swear, if you licked him, he’d taste like a peppermint patty (that sweet!).  So when he opens his mouth and out pours this torrent of scathing contempt, the soul crushing and unnecessary insistence on humiliating an obviously outmatched opponent… all delivered on a relentless IV drip of a hellishly sexy Boston accent… the contrasts to my senses are just so delicious.  The whole package (not just THE package) is just so thoroughly, beautifully, and uniquely Mr. Joshua.

Whatever Louie Lanza is thinking, he’s one lucky, lucky bastard!
Let me spare a word for lovely Louie, because although he gets absolutely and completely demolished, he’s got one thing going for him: he runs headlong into his humiliation.  What this kid’s story?!  He taunts Mr. J.  Now, let’s just review… little Louie (an inch shorter and 25 pounds skinnier) taunts powerhouse ring veteran, Mr. J.  He’s got nothing, nothing to put on the table to make this anything other than an uglyass obliteration (though both asses here are quite beautiful).  Now, he’s cute as a button (in a Jersey Shore kind of way), but that’s never been a weakness of Mr. J’s (someone needs to find Mr. J’s weakness!).  And even when Louie is basically getting his leg ripped off at the hip with his trunks yanked so high up his crack that you can almost see them down his throat when he opens his mouth and screams in pain, even then, Louie astonishingly taunts, “Is that all you’ve got!?”  I have two theories here.  1) Louie is a hardcore masochist.  I mean, he’s the sort of twink that likes straps and whips and hand crank electrical devices.  He wants to hurt.  He wants it really, really bad, and all he sees in front of him when Mr. J charges in is muscles expertly tuned to taking a piece of fluff like him to the limit of endurance.  And/or 2) Louie is a hardcore Mr. Joshua devotee (line starts right behind me, bitches!).  He’s watched Mr. J’s wrestling performances for years and wants nothing but to feel those hands on him.  He’s a Mr. Joshua freak who wants nothing but to know exactly how strong all of those muscles are (yeah, that one too, but he’ll have to keep guessing there…).  He’s nursing a Mr. J daddy-fantasy that, let’s face it, almost certainly was born the moment any of us saw Mr. J strap that studded collar around furious, but beaten Rocco’s neck and drag him into the private portion of the BG East facility to service his new master.
Is Louie aiming to follow in Rocco’s footsteps?
I like to think that Mr. J has a collection of lovely, lithe twinks with blond highlights at home, each with their own studded collars, thongs yanked up their cracks, and duties to perform in service of Mr. J.  Rocco, Chico Valdez, Randy Stanton, Jeremy Burk,  Austin Raines, now Louie Lanza, (hell, maybe that’s where muscle bunny beautiful Troy Baker disappeared to!?)… I picture them each in a thong, each charged with servicing Mr. J’s every whim morning, noon, and night.

There’s nothing epic in Demolition 15 for Mr. Joshua’s storyline, as far as I can tell.  He hasn’t offered his wildly tappable ass for a bar conquest to compete for, as he did with Randy Stanton.  He isn’t facing down an astonishingly hands on, nearly unstoppable Napolean-complexed drill sergeant like he did with Gino Liotta.  There’s no upperclassman bully session turned shockingly on its head this time, like there was with Austin Raines.  It’s just little Louie caught between a rock and a hard place, over and over again, and soaking up every ounce of punishment he can take from expertly outfitted Mr. Joshua Goodman.  Happy holidays, indeed!

Kicking Ass and Taking Names

When I posted the reader’s choice poll last month for the rookie with the best potential in homoerotic wrestling, I was floored to get a note from my current pick as top contender for the title of my favorite homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy division). BG East’s Kid Karisma named a couple of the candidates he’d like to get his hands on. I assured him that I’d like very much to see his hands on them, and then I quickly followed up with an interview request. After juggling holiday travels and work obligations, we finally got on the line together for a candid interview yesterday. As you’d expect from the likes of Kid Karisma, he doesn’t pull any punches. He names names and calls them like he sees them. His blunt honesty blew me away and sent me scurrying to my library of Kid K matches to “study” them some more with his insider perspective filling in the background. So turn down the lights, kick up the house music, and settle in for a hot conversation with BG East’s hardbodied party boy himself: Kid Karisma.

Bard: So thank you so much, Kid Karisma, for talking with me today. I’m a huge fan, so this is quite a thrill! To start us off, I just wanted to share an observation: having watched several of your BG East matches, it appears to me that you enjoy dominating an opponent almost as much as your fans enjoy watching you do it. Is that accurate?

Kid Karisma: That is correct! Well, it’s not that I like to dominate. It’s more that I like to show I am in charge, and how do I make sure they understand that? I make them feel humility. [laughing]

Kid Karisma: In Charge
Bard: That sounds like a fine distinction, but I think I understand. You enjoy making sure your opponents know their place… under you and at your mercy.
Kid Karisma: Exactly! And lets face it…most of them think they can hang, but I have way too much energy!
Bard: You’ve got amazing tenacity! Well, amazing everything, but your staying power is astonishing. I’ve noticed that, sooner or later, every opponent finds himself on his back in one of your schoolboy pins with your crotch shoved in his face. First of all, excellent work! Second, do you have any holds or maneuvers that you particularly enjoy inflicting on an opponent?
Kid Karisma: Well something that I started recently in the ring is tangling someone in the ropes to show off their body and have total access to punishing them. I did it against Z-man and Jenkins…talk about fun!  And on a mat I mainly like to crank the neck towards a mirror and have them admire my strength.

Kid K teaching Z-Man the ropes of BG East wrestling
Bard: Those are two excellent strategies that I certainly recognize from your body of work (that I’ve studied extensively). I know it’s a cliché question, but I’ve got to ask it: of the 10 matches BG East has released of yours, do you have a favorite?
Kid Karisma:  Christian Taylor is just fun to wrestle…love that body! Len Harder was feisty. But Jake Jenkins was a challenge and fun, so that one easily wins.  He is small, but his wrestling background and agility made it rather difficult. Plus, imagine getting a hold of that body! Well. I don’t have to! [laughing]
Kid K can feel Jake’s body melting
Bard:  Your match with Jake is a work of art! Damn, you two are an incredible pair in the ring together, and your complete destruction of him is epic. Any particular moment of that match stand out for you, in addition to tying him up in the ropes, as you mentioned before?
Kid Karisma:  I mean, I truly got to work him over completely! But when I had him in the Boston or bent over my knee…God, you can just feel his body melting and weakening…pretty epic.
Bard: Definitely! You mentioned your match with Z-Man and tying him up in the ropes as well. There was a moment where he you hung him over the top rope like the laundry, took a step back to look at him, and then commented, “Looks damn good from over here.” What do you find attractive in an opponent?
Kid Karisma: Well, there are different things I like within all my opponents, but the one thing that always gets me is a beat down opponent.  When you look at them and you know “I just made him my bitch,” that gives me goose bumps just talking about it! I just like to win, and I just happen to be a bad ass in the process.
Bard: Well, I’ve got goose bumps now, too. You are most definitely a bad ass, in the best sense of the term! BG East describes you as 5’8″ tall and 170 pounds, but somehow I find that hard to believe. You sure can fill up a camera with all those amazing muscles! Are those stats accurate?
Kid Karisma: Well, I fluctuate. In my matches against Z-man and Jenkins I was at about 180, possibly even closer to 185. I was pretty damn solid. I have thick legs so that always gives me a very stout look.            I played rugby for many years and started again recently so that’s where that build comes from.  When I played at the University, my legs were double the size.
Bard:  My goose bumps have goose bumps now! Solid is definitely one word that springs to mind when I picture you in the ring. You’ve got amazing legs, so trying to imagine them double the size is blowing my mind! As someone who clearly, and deservedly, loves his body, what would you say is your best body part right now?

 Kid Karisma: Well if I said anything but my ass, people wouldn’t take me seriously. It’s fucking huge! And all muscle, I would like to add! But, I say my arms! I have some serious peaks on my biceps, and have you seen my tri’s?
Kid K shows off his… triceps.
Bard: When I’ve been able to tear my eyes away from your muscled ass, yes I’ve appreciated your upper arms quite a lot. Wrapped around the throat of an opponent, they’re profoundly moving to see! What sort of workout routine do you have to sculpt your body so successfully?
Kid Karisma:  I must admit I have been working out for over 13 years now. So I have done it all. But my workout mantra is Form and Focus: Proper form while focusing on the muscle and high reps work wonders. Also, it’s 80% diet. That’s the hard part.  I was raised to be a jock I guess; maybe that’s where my attitude comes from. [laughing]
Bard:  Sounds like your physique is well earned! You know, of course, that you have an army of Kid Karisma fanatics that are completely in awe of the sight of you flexing those peaked biceps over a crushed opponent. What’s it like knowing that you’ve got fans swooning over every inch of you?
Kid Karisma:  Well it is very humbling, first and foremost, I must say! I am always flattered to hear compliments (even though most are deserved), and without the fans supporting me, well you know…you were just thereThe Boss wouldn’t schedule me to beat up some punks. But at the end of the day, my body helps, but it’s my attitude that my fans really love.  Look at how many worthless pretty boys wrestle for various companies. Nothing but bodies with nothing behind them, a pretty face to beat, if you ask me. The Boss honored me with kid and karisma, because he saw something. Let’s face it; I earned the right to be swooned over. Also, for every person that thinks I am hot, there is one that hates me. At the end of the day none of those punks would say it to my face though! [laughing]
Bard:  I think that’s really why I picture you as a foot taller and 30 pounds heavier… it’s that ferocious, huge, gigantic confidence you have! And I’m certain you are absolutely right that’s what fans are so crazy about. Well, that and your superhuman ass. So speaking of Kid Leopard, how did you first get involved with BG East? Did The Boss happen to see your gargantuan thighs sprinting down a rugby pitch?
Red Baron teaches Kid K what friends are for
Kid Karisma:  No, nothing like that. My best friend, who’s been a fan of BGE for a very long time, got the chance to audition with them a few years back. He dragged me along for moral support. The next thing I knew, I was suited up and facing off in a three-way with my friend, aka “Red Baron,” and Cage Thunder. Before I walked out the door, the BG East boys were asking for more Kid Karisma.
Bard: We all owe a debt of gratitude to Red Baron! So, personally I try to avoid bad mouthing any of you gutsy wrestlers who work so hard to bring us such pleasure, but I love to hear the dish. Any inside scoop you’d like to share about any of your competition? Any wrestlers out there that you’d like to tell us fans what you really think of them?
Kid Karisma: [Laughing] Well, there is one guy, but the match hasn’t been released. It was easily the most intense match I have ever done. He hated my guts, and he hated the fact that I was much stronger and boisterous. Here’s the deal, if you ever had a chance to meet me, you’d know that all I want is to party. So all the haters I wrestle end up partying with me, and they end up loving me! Except one! [Laughing]
Bard: Oh my God. As soon as that match is released, I’m hitting you up for a follow-up interview to hear more about that! You’re most recent match was against Hoyt Riley who ended up putting a tick in the Kid K loss column. How the hell did that happen?
Hoyt Riley drops some hurt on Kid K
Kid Karisma: Listen… first off, fat ass sat on me!
Bard: [laughing]
Kid Karisma: …And I was still hungover as fuck! So go him.
Bard: Sounds like that one may still sting a little. What about some of the other wrestlers you’ve faced?
Kid Karisma: Jake is like a little fucking monkey.  I have never seen someone jump around as much as him.  Too bad that didn’t help him! In the end, he is just a kid…a nice kid…and I am Kid Karisma… or also known as a bad ass!   And as much as I will get shit for this from both The Boss and the fans…who in the fucking world taught Garza to wrestle? I thought they did a better job in Mexico! I mean, I have a luchadore mask out of respect… but give me a fucking break. But he is fucking hot! You should see his ass up close…mouth watering.
Bard: Indeed, my mouth is watering as we speak!

Kid K has some ideas about what to do to Christian Taylor’s body
Kid Karisma:  And I wish I could have Christian on a mat only. The things I would do to his body. Well, yeah, your blog is x-rated, right!? [laughing]
Bard: Do NOT hold anything back on my account! This is fantastic stuff!
Kid K is confident Rocco remembers this fondly
Kid Karisma: Oh, and remember Gear Wars against Rocco?
Bard: Extremely fondly, yes I remember it.
Kid Karisma: God! He fucking thought he was God’s gift to the world. I showed him who mac daddy at the end of the day is!
Bard: That you did! He looked seriously put out to get owned so completely by you. I’d be hard pressed to believe he walked away letting bygones be bygones after he squirmed so bitterly with your ass planted on his face.
Kid Karisma: Listen…if you remember, he tried to get out of shit quick, and I let him sometimes. But he loved every second and every drop of sweat of mine on him.  I’m pretty sure he still plays with his hole thinking about my ass, socks and whatnot in his face!
Bard: [Laughing] That’s hilarious!… and seriously turning me on. We’d better change the subject before I completely lose my focus. So are there any wrestlers you haven’t faced yet who you’d like to introduce to the ropes?
Kid Karisma: It’s not like I have a thing for taller, or shorter for the matter, but tight lean bodies.
Bard: You’re ready to work over anyone with a tight, lean body?
Kid Karisma: Yeah, and some other fat ass to redeem myself! There are a couple of pretty boys out there that I would like to get my hands on.  Can I just say, “Bend over… I mean GIVE!”
Bard: I pity any opponent who isn’t in top condition when they face off with you. Strike that. I envy any opponent that faces off with you. You’re an artist! Any pretty boys you’d like to name, or should we just leave it at that?
Kid K says Kirby Stone “looks like he’d
love to get beaten by me.”
Kid Karisma: Well, there are a few out there.  You know that innocent kid, Stone or whatever…he looks like he would love to get beaten by me.  He could be fun.  Or some novice hot kid that needs a good beating into the game [laughing]. I may actually pop one for that…especially when they can’t figure out what just hit them.
BardKirby Stone? Hot damn, that would be incredible! And if you “pop one,” I’m buying two copies (if we’re talking about the same thing). You’ve been incredibly generous with your time and remarkably candid! I feel like you’ve given us some amazing insight into what makes you such a hot commodity in the ring and on the mat. Before I let you go, is there anything else that you’d like fans to know about you when you aren’t conquering one pretty boy after another for BG East?
Kid Karisma: You are very welcome, and it was definitely fun chatting with you, even though I got a bit wordy here and there. You know us shit talkers can’t help it! [laughing]  I want to thank everyone for their continued support while I am developing as a wrestler, and there are many more hot matches planned that continue showing me at what I do best: kicking ass and taking names! Also, remember that without all of the supporters out there, I won’t get to demolish hot ass boys…and what a shame that would be. I also would like to thank you for taking the time to talk to me, and it definitely has been a pleasure. Plus it’s awesome to have someone so attentive listen to me rant! [laughing]
Bard: The pleasure, I assure you, is entirely mine! On behalf of a whole lot of us, we can’t wait to watch you put more pretty boys in their place, and by that I mean sandwiched between your monster thighs, crushed beneath your epic ass, or choked by your python arms! We’ll keep buying them and loving them as long as you keep knocking them down!
Kid Karisma: Sweet. Have a good day!
Bard: You too!

Kid Karisma, ready to party

Asses Named

No one posted a perfect score for this week’s installment of Name That Ass. I’m still looking for teacher’s pet. Keep studying, gentlemen. Adoring homoerotic wrestling asses requires intense, exhaustive study. Don’t be discouraged if you didn’t do well. I grade on a curve, and preparing for the next quiz should be it’s own reward. In the meantime, here are the answers to the quiz:
Ass #1 belongs to:

 BG East’s Tyrell Tomsen.
Stunning size and gorgeous proportions, when Tyrell is naked and soaked in sweat in the wrestling ring, he can strike one of the most lustworthy still life’s on record. As pictured, Tyrell was playing dominating bully to opponent Braden Charron for Strip Stakes 1. It was Tyrell’s Summer Sizzler against Bobby Horton that convinced me that Bobby deserved the title of homoerotic wrestler of the month last summer.  Tyrell has definitely been out-wrestled in his brief tenure with BG East, but he’s never been out-muscled or out-classed when it comes to his picturesque physique.
Ass #2 belongs to:
BG East’s Kid Karisma.
Kid K has captured me in his gravitational pull lately, and I’ve found myself circling back to marvel at his performances over and over again. His ass, in particular, is simply astonishingly beautiful. This particular shot is from his face off with Rocco in Gear Wars 1. I’ll gush soon about his Wet ‘n Wild appearance with Christian Taylor, but in the mean time, marvel a little longer at those glutes…

Did ass #3 pose a challenge? It belongs to none other than…
Can-Am’s pornboy extraordinaire, Mark Wolff.
Blake Onassis would have also earned you full marks for this one, since he’s cross listed under both names. This particularly fun shot is of Mark getting his face smashed into the lockers by Billy Herrington (also AKA’s Billy Marcus) for Lords of the Lockerroom. He was always a pornboy musclegod, with an ass for days and nipples the size of half dollars. Frankly, it wasn’t really Mark’s wrestling that ever sold me, but I’d buy some full contact moving pictures of that body anyday.
I imagined ass #4 might have given some students trouble. It belongs to…
Naked Kombat’s John Magnum.

I’m positive that I’ve seen Magnum wrestling somewhere else, but for the life of me, I can’t remember where. He blew my socks off (pants, too!), when I saw him in his one and only (to date) appearance at Naked Kombat in a nail-biter against Phillip Aubrey. Phillip nearly took the big muscle brute in this match. If there was ever a tie, in the gestalt sense, these two boys were perfectly, evenly matched, despite having distinctly different styles and builds. John’s personality, though, is absolutely kink-stastic. He’s 110% present. He delights in every second of domination, and he struggles to free himself from absolutely ever nano-second under Phillip’s control. He’s a beautiful man, and although I haven’t had an opportunity to enjoy much more wrestling from him, I get a little contact high off of his tweets now and then.

I didn’t hear from any advanced players who correctly identified the monster muscle glutes of ass #5 as belonging to…
Thunder’s Arena’s Coupe.

I’ve marveled before that Coupe is a muscle freak. That does not always equate to homoerotic gold, but just like his trunks in his poolside back-and-forth with Cameron Mathews, Coupe is indeed homoerotic wrestling kink gold in my book. If ever there was a body that absolutely required comment, even awe from his opponents, it’s Coupe’s. But that’s not really what Thunder’s does, sadly. It’s much more frat house romp than full on homoerotic body worship. I haven’t seen him at Thunder’s in a while, but I’ll just put it out there here and now, if ever Coupe is looking for some homo muscle worship to make up for all the neglect the boys at Thunder’s have made him suffer, I’m first in line with the baby oil.

So how did you do? I put more weight in progress over time than any individual quiz grade, so I hope that you’re finding that you’re performance is improving as you take more Name That Ass quizzes. Don’t be discouraged if you didn’t do as well as you’d hoped. We both know that you love the subject matter, so devoting yourself with renewed enthusiasm to your studies should be no burden at all.

Words and Silences

It doesn’t take long reading this blog to realize that I am a big fan of dialogue. It’s one of the texts that makes a homoerotic wrestling scene sparkle. I’m not a fan of a wrestling scene filled with silence broken by only the occasional grunt or gasp, even when the combatants are doing everything else that I love (yes, Enforcer, I’m talking about you!). Some sweet, snarling, domineering dialogue makes the contest more than just about the bodies. It should be about heart and soul and ego and will, and that story can get a major assist with letting the boys say something about what it all means. I’ve been fishing through my collection of inspiration lately, and a couple of snazzy talkers have made me smile (and swoon) all over again.

In Gear Wars 1, Kid Karisma shows that he’s all about dialogue-as-humiliation as he and Rocco go for broke to be the first to strip the other wrestler’s gear off of him. From start to finish in his match, Karisma offers a running commentary that’s every bit as arousing as the visuals (and that’s saying a lot!). For example, at one point Karisma is, for the moment, having his way with Rocco, claiming his back at will and choking him to submission with Rocco’s own shoulder strap. Karisma is loving the moment. He’s loving himself. He’s loving being in total command of Rocco’s body. He flings him to the wall and stands up, flexing and admiring himself (get in line, Kid K!). Rocco coughs and gasps, clutching his throat, causing Karisma to laugh derisively. “Oh, you don’t want to get choked any more? Cute… cute. How’s that look, huh?” Kid turns his back on Rocco and peels his singlet down, leaving his world class muscle ass bare in his jock strap. “Yeah, oh, I think you want to get choked by something else, don’t you?” Turning around to face Rocco, he pulls the front of his singlet down and bounces the pouch of his packed jock-strap in the palm of his hand.

It’s poetry, I tell you! It’s nothing that I expect to find in straight up wrestling, and it’s everything and more that I look for in full-on, no apologies homoerotic wrestling. It’s like performance art mashed up with poetry slam mashed up with my fondest locker room fantasy.

Rusty Stevens still holds possession of the title as my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy these days, in no small part do to his lightening fast, razor sharp, verbal wit on the mats. One of the many  moments that Rusty has Mitch Colby on his back, schoolboy pinned in the Breaking Point, Mitch is squirming and gasping for air as Rusty sits on his chest and slides forward, shoving the pouch of his sweat-soaked jock-strap onto Mitch’s face. Mitch’s muffled gasps are cut short by Rusty’s package pressed against his lips, “I… I can’t….”

“What!? You can’t what?” Rusty delights, looking down. “You can’t breathe? Losers don’t get to breathe!” Rusty snarls, slapping Mitch’s face with his cock and pulling up on Mitch’s head, shoving it harder into his crotch in complete humiliation.

Again, I say: it’s poetry. Sweaty, muscled bodies clutching, squeezing, grinding and controlling one another to the beat poetry of verbal domination. Fantastic. Simply fantastic.

I Know It When I See It

“Every Once in a while, a wrestler comes out of nowhere and blazes across the sky like a meteor, or a shooting star. Kid Karisma, blessed with a ripped physique, energy, personality and wrestling skill to spare, is one of those blazing stars.”
That’s the beginning of the text-teaser for BG East’s new product, Gear Wars 1. I love reading lines that like. They transport a sincere little production from softcore porn into ancient Greek melodrama. Text like that sets us up to recognize hot, sweaty scrappers hurting one another on wrestling mats as the Olympic gods that they truly are, playing out their private battles for all of us to watch, admire, pick sides and own our little piece of the divine drama.
A perceptive author painted the picture of Kid Karisma for us as “this Teutonic god-like young man with the impressive torso, sculpted arms, and beauteous bulbous butt.” This is what good text does for this genre. It puts its finger precisely on the obvious truth staring us in the face, but it does it with such skill and art that we see more than we may have seen without it. Yes, Kid Karisma is indeed Teutonic god-like. I’d never have thought of him in those terms, but now that you mention it, that’s exactly what he is! His ass is indeed a beauteous bulbous butt. It’s not like I hadn’t noticed, but the alliteration and string of apt adjectives capture precisely what is so stunning about Kid’s ass.
The text here is like 3-D glasses at the movie theater. It’s not as if we can’t appreciate the 2 dimensional pictures on the screen without them, but the words of the craftsman bring the images into high definition. They make that bulbous butt pop right out of the screen. They trigger our imaginative perception that makes us experience this not like a photo album, but as if that gorgeous ass was right in our faces, as if we could actually reach out and grab those astonishing cheeks in the palms of our hands and feel the muscled heft of that jaw-dropping derriere.
The byline for this pic of Kid captures my thoughts exactly. “Kid Karisma: They don’t come any more iconic than this. Tom of Finland and MATT would love this guy!” And there it is again, precisely! Kid in his tube socks and jock strap, with that astounding ass looks exactly like a caricature of a homoerotic wrestling character from the classic artists of the genre. Spot-on description for the almost unspeakable beauty of a freckle-faced red-head with the body ripped directly out of my most cherished fantasies.

Art provokes. That’s the bottom line for me. If it’s too obvious, then it’s journalism. If it’s so esoteric that I don’t care, it’s folly. But if I’m provoked, if it makes me do a double take, if I’m perplexed, aroused, indignant or adamant in response, then it must be art. Like the Supreme Court’s struggle to define obscenity, I may not always have an objective definition of art, but I know it when I see it. Like the sight of Rocco’s face squashed underneath Kid Karisma’s ass while Kid leans back to crush his opponent’s skull, grimacing in concentration as if on the threshold of ecstatic climax… that’s art, boys.

And art and capitalism intersect at the point that I see the photos; I read the text; my heart begins to race as my hand is drawn, as if by a mind of its own, to my swelling cock. And I am provoked to own a copy of the divine drama for myself.