Soap, Please

I have a hair trigger for shower scenes. I’ve gone weeks at a time obsessed with sleuthing out hot, steamy, glistening muscle hunks in the shower, preferably immediately following a wet, sweaty, thumping wrestling match. Some of the best sex I’ve ever had was in the shower. I sometimes wonder if it’s my obsessive-compulsive tendencies coming up when I get seriously fixated on shower scenes. I won’t even try to deny that messes turn me off, and so incorporating personal hygiene and immediately washing away the aftermath probably appeals to my inner approaching-disordered mind. But even if you aren’t OCD, you have to appreciate glistening, wet naked bodies, which is pretty much guaranteed in a shower scene.

Sub Zero peels off the spandex preparing for his post battle shower. Where, oh where do I apply to be his very personal super-valet?!

Last week’s update over at Eye of the Cyclone got me all infatuated again with shower scenes. EOC’s superhero Sub Zero narrowly escaped his own destruction in the serial “Hard as Ice.” Having returned to his secret Ice Lair, the dashingly hot mystery muscle man breaths a heavy sigh of relief and peels off his skin tight super suit to wash away the bitter bruises of his battle with the Xtractor.  Last week’s comic panels of Sub Zero prepping and beginning his shower are the motherload of post-wrestling homoerotic shower scenes (though I’d prefer to see Xtractor join him).

Now that is a super sensational ass!!!

I’m in crazy lust with Sub Zero! I’d say that ass could pose a serious challenge to Kid Karisma’s Best Butt reign, if Sub Zero ever made my fantasies come true by appearing in live action homoerotic wrestling. Though I am crazy in lust with Kid K’s ass as well.  Hmmm. Clearly the only way to settle this would be a rip ‘n’ strip ring match, followed by a tandem body worship shower scene, of course.

I need a hero, bad!

Like the perfect homoerotic wrestling twist on Psycho, Sub Zero doesn’t see the vile-looking “Cybermite” climbing the shower glass, positioning its vicious-looking metallic legs threateningly inches away from Sub Zero’s glistening, naked ass. Our sizzling hot hero sees the threat too late, turning around just as the mortal threat pounces, diving deep down naked hunk’s throat (well, okay, that orifice works as well, sure). What will happen with his enemy’s remote appendage rooting around inside his sensationally built muscle body? Fuck. To be continued…

I’ve got my loofah in hand… well, in one hand…

So that’s what sent me spinning down the shower scene rabbit hole again. Here are a few more of my very favorite shower scenes from the homoerotic wrestling context.  Do you have a favorite, because I’m always looking to add to my go-to collection.  Now you’ll have to excuse me, I need to go get cleaned up…

In Motel Madness 8, my long-time favorite homoerotic wrestler (emeritus) spanked Jeremy Burke like a naughty boy before the two retired to the motel bathroom to strip each other and slip into the shower together. Honestly, I can’t see Jeremy at all in the shower scene… all I can see is me there soaping up Mitch’s naked muscles.
One of the hottest, unscripted shower scenes ever to grace the end of an outstanding homoerotic wrestling match took place in BG’s Fantasy Oil Wrestling 4.
In X-Fights 33, a twinks-gone-wild barnburner, Skip Vance and Billy Lodi got completely hot and bothered first on the mat then in the bathroom, proving that some old flames never entirely die, even when soaking wet in the shower.
An iconic homoerotic wrestling production, Lords of the Lockerroom may have not been the most competitive sell in wrestling, but the quality of the bodies featured was extremely elite. A pre-NK Van Darkholme was eaten up and spit out by hot stuff Mark Wolff, but looked very happy to relive the memories as he jerked off in the shower afterward.
And arguably the lordliest of the Lords of the Locker Room, Billy Herrington took his fantasy physique to the showers after squashing Nick Steel like a musclejobber bug.

‘Tis the Season

Looking for that certain something to buy for a homoerotic wrestling fan (like you… or me?!). In honor of our full-contact, to-the-death annual holiday tradition, you can pick up some sweet deals at some of your favorite erotic wrestling suppliers. So unzip, pull out your wallet, and do your part to spread some holiday cheer.

Still hungry after Thanksgiving? Settle in on a 48-hour VOD of Damien Rush working to make LJL his muscle worshipper in Backyard Brawls 8 (for 25% off for Arena Members!).

BG East is giving you an extended 48 hours to enjoy it any of their VOD matches. Arena members also get 25% off VODs, and of course, there are more VOD’s for Arena members, but even non-members can pick up choice entertainment, such as watching Damien Rush force feed LJL his hot, hairy pec and put in his bid to make the little guy his muscle worshipper in Backyard Brawls 8. Sale ends December 2, so get on it!

Nothing says “holiday season” like naked muscle icon Billy Herrington bashing homoerotic wrestling god Mark Wolff’s face into the lockers in Lords of the Lockerroom, available while the overstock sale lasts.

Can-Am is currently running a $15 overstock sale on dozens of DVDs as they clear out some storage (hopefully meaning they’ve got a lot of new releases they need to stock up on!). There are some classics in the overstock selection, including watching massive Billy Herrington smash muscleman Mark Wolff’s face into the lockers in Lords of the Lockerroom.

20% of downloads from Rock Hard Wrestling seasons 1-14 include hot fitness star, Will Stanley, taking everything that Ethan Andrews can dish out, and then bearing down on the smart ass with a vengeance. Sale lasts until December 2!

Rock Hard Wrestling has 30% off any download from catalog’s 1-14 for you to snag through December 2. There are dozens of matches you have access to for the discounted price, including such favorites of mine as stunningly hot Brit Will Stanley taking a boatload of punishment from always dangerous Ethan Andrews, before turning the tables and shutting up the smart ass scrapper but good!

Squeeze some savings out of Thunder’s Arena with a seasonal Bearhug Challenge between Archer and Big Shawn, and 20% off downloads and 40% off DVDs.

Thunder’s Arena has a “Black Friday” sale still up as of today, including a Bearhug Challenge with one of my infatuations, Archer, trying to out-bearhug massively Big Shawn (with bonus footage of Specimen showering and posing poolside!). Also, with coupon code BFRY2, you can get 20% of downloads and 40% of DVDs purchased.  I don’t know how long the sale runs, but it looks like you can still get in on the Black Friday deals at Thunders as of now.

Happy shopping!

Cocks Named

Jobberinnyc made short work of this week’s Name That Cock quiz. Way to go, jobberinnyc! He knows his homoerotic wrestling cocks, and for that, he’s head of the class this week here in neverland. Let’s review his excellent work, so that you can learn from his fine example.
Cock #1 belongs to…
… BG East’s Dino Serra

I’ve seen just a few of Dino’s matches, but my impression is that he had a loud-n-proud raging erection in every match. This fine display of his major league tool comes from his thrashing at the hands of eager beaver Jarrett Cole in Wrestleshack 7.

Cock #2 belongs to…
Naked Kombat’s Race Cooper.
In particular, this shot of his rod comes from his most recent match, posted March 16, going toe-to-toe and cock-to-cock with Roman gladiator-looking beefy stud Jeremy Tyler. Pornboy Race is sculpted perfection. Damn.
Cock #3 belongs to…
… BG East’s Jose.
Holy hell, the sight of Jose’s meat always makes me gasp. Greg Leary, pictured here pinned by the python with some gratuitous pec clawing thrown in just for kicks, thought his quite impressive cock would warrant some cred when he stripped off his trunks. Pointing to his pendulous cock, Greg let Jose know that he was bringing his “quarter pounder” into the final round of their match in Hard Pros 6. Jose simply smirked dismissively and peeled out of his own trunks, illustrating that he was slapping down “the whole Big Mac.” Win-win-lose, as far as I’m concerned (Jose wins; you and I win; Greg loses).
Cock #4 belongs to…
Here, Billy has hoisted blond boytoy Dax Kelly over his gargantuan shoulders, on his way to breaking the twink down to complete adoring submission. Truth is, physiques as thick and massive as Billy’s make it tough to make even an impressive cock look proportional. However, Billy does just fine, as far as I’m concerned. The brain-trust that came up with the title “Wrestlers” for this release deserve a neverland razzie, but with Billy Herrington on the cover, who would ever remember the name of the tape?
Cock #5 belongs to…
… BG East’s heel extraordinaire, Kid Vicious.
So I’ve never admitted this to anyone, ever, but truth is that KV sort of looks like a bastard boss I used to have. This is disturbing on many levels, not the least of which is the haunting shadow image of my boss pounding his fist mercilessly into the naked cock of some poor, outclassed opponent. In this case, KV was beating the living daylights out of also-aptly named Skrapper (especially his cock) in Sexy Showdown 5: Florida Fun. I’m repeating myself when I say that KV is possibly the most accomplished master of connecting all the dots in homoerotic wrestling competing today. I’m also repeating myself when I say that Skrapper continues to catch me by surprise by how arousing I find his wrestling.
So there you have it. While jobberinnyc didn’t go the extra mile and name the opponents for yesterday’s quiz, he is nevertheless homoerotic wrestling fan #1 in the realm of neverland, at least for this week. Keep playing. Keep studying those homoerotic wrestlers, especially the ones with gorgeous asses, awe-inspiring cocks, and delightful tattoos, and maybe next week you’ll jump to the head of the class!

Asses Named

No one posted a perfect score for this week’s installment of Name That Ass. I’m still looking for teacher’s pet. Keep studying, gentlemen. Adoring homoerotic wrestling asses requires intense, exhaustive study. Don’t be discouraged if you didn’t do well. I grade on a curve, and preparing for the next quiz should be it’s own reward. In the meantime, here are the answers to the quiz:
Ass #1 belongs to:

 BG East’s Tyrell Tomsen.
Stunning size and gorgeous proportions, when Tyrell is naked and soaked in sweat in the wrestling ring, he can strike one of the most lustworthy still life’s on record. As pictured, Tyrell was playing dominating bully to opponent Braden Charron for Strip Stakes 1. It was Tyrell’s Summer Sizzler against Bobby Horton that convinced me that Bobby deserved the title of homoerotic wrestler of the month last summer.  Tyrell has definitely been out-wrestled in his brief tenure with BG East, but he’s never been out-muscled or out-classed when it comes to his picturesque physique.
Ass #2 belongs to:
BG East’s Kid Karisma.
Kid K has captured me in his gravitational pull lately, and I’ve found myself circling back to marvel at his performances over and over again. His ass, in particular, is simply astonishingly beautiful. This particular shot is from his face off with Rocco in Gear Wars 1. I’ll gush soon about his Wet ‘n Wild appearance with Christian Taylor, but in the mean time, marvel a little longer at those glutes…

Did ass #3 pose a challenge? It belongs to none other than…
Can-Am’s pornboy extraordinaire, Mark Wolff.
Blake Onassis would have also earned you full marks for this one, since he’s cross listed under both names. This particularly fun shot is of Mark getting his face smashed into the lockers by Billy Herrington (also AKA’s Billy Marcus) for Lords of the Lockerroom. He was always a pornboy musclegod, with an ass for days and nipples the size of half dollars. Frankly, it wasn’t really Mark’s wrestling that ever sold me, but I’d buy some full contact moving pictures of that body anyday.
I imagined ass #4 might have given some students trouble. It belongs to…
Naked Kombat’s John Magnum.

I’m positive that I’ve seen Magnum wrestling somewhere else, but for the life of me, I can’t remember where. He blew my socks off (pants, too!), when I saw him in his one and only (to date) appearance at Naked Kombat in a nail-biter against Phillip Aubrey. Phillip nearly took the big muscle brute in this match. If there was ever a tie, in the gestalt sense, these two boys were perfectly, evenly matched, despite having distinctly different styles and builds. John’s personality, though, is absolutely kink-stastic. He’s 110% present. He delights in every second of domination, and he struggles to free himself from absolutely ever nano-second under Phillip’s control. He’s a beautiful man, and although I haven’t had an opportunity to enjoy much more wrestling from him, I get a little contact high off of his tweets now and then.

I didn’t hear from any advanced players who correctly identified the monster muscle glutes of ass #5 as belonging to…
Thunder’s Arena’s Coupe.

I’ve marveled before that Coupe is a muscle freak. That does not always equate to homoerotic gold, but just like his trunks in his poolside back-and-forth with Cameron Mathews, Coupe is indeed homoerotic wrestling kink gold in my book. If ever there was a body that absolutely required comment, even awe from his opponents, it’s Coupe’s. But that’s not really what Thunder’s does, sadly. It’s much more frat house romp than full on homoerotic body worship. I haven’t seen him at Thunder’s in a while, but I’ll just put it out there here and now, if ever Coupe is looking for some homo muscle worship to make up for all the neglect the boys at Thunder’s have made him suffer, I’m first in line with the baby oil.

So how did you do? I put more weight in progress over time than any individual quiz grade, so I hope that you’re finding that you’re performance is improving as you take more Name That Ass quizzes. Don’t be discouraged if you didn’t do as well as you’d hoped. We both know that you love the subject matter, so devoting yourself with renewed enthusiasm to your studies should be no burden at all.