Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

Let me wipe the sweat off my brow (not to mention any other bodily fluids) and return to my senses. I’m sure I’ll spend a whole lot more time sucking out the marrow from the mouthwatering delicacies BG East has presented in their centennial catalog, but I’ve got serious business to do, now that I’ve pushed pause. I feel the need to elevate from among possibly the most competitive field I’ve ever seen one wrestler to crown as my pick for homoerotic wrestler of the month.  Occasionally, newbies to neverland demonstrate that they don’t know what I’m talking about when I laud a new HWOTM, so let me just review the concept for you who have just tuned in:

Each month, I take a look at the new releases from homoerotic wrestling producers the month prior. My usual suspects are BG East, Can-Am, Muscle Domination Wrestling, Naked Kombat, Rock Hard Wrestling, and Thunder’s Arena, and every so often an “independent producer” makes a play for serious contention (e.g., Steel Muscle God, or the rare foray into the genre by mainstream porn producers). The criteria are simple and straightforward. The wrestler I name must have appeared in a new release during the prior month, and he must be the one hunk who stands out for having turned me on the hardest. Sometimes readers read more into it than that, but that is, genuinely the scope.

Savoring the new releases that were produced in September by the above masters of wrestling-for-gay-eyes, my task was simply brutal. There are months when I actually give the title a pass because I just don’t think the field was of high enough quality, but September 2013 posed precisely the opposite problem. Way, way too much goodness streaming down, nearly drowning me as I try to keep my head above water and put everyone else but one standout wrestler into the category of also-rans. There were serious contenders from every producer on my go-to list, but in the end, I went with my gut and stuck to the premise, choosing the wrestler that turned me on hardest…

 

 

 

 

 

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Brad Rochelle – 6′, 190 lbs, a living legend

Brad Rochelle.  Again, particularly for those of you new to neverland, be warned that I bulldoze right through spoiler material without a passing thought for anyone wanting to remain in suspense about details of most of the matches I talk about. So if you don’t want to know particulars about the climactic chapter in the Contract series, turn away now. Because I’ve got shit I’ve simply got to say!

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Brad bends like none other!

First of all, Contract 10 is an awesome testimony to the masterful ensemble that has been responsible for BG East catalogs 1-100. There’s no denying that, as with every Contract DVD, Brad is “the star.” However, the climactic chapter pulls in boys in front of and behind the camera, newbies, paradigmatic veterans, cameramen, and not to be overlooked (for fear of getting my ass kicked), The Boss himself, Kid Leopard. As I’m often chided when I do the HWOTM, the quality of Contract 10 is entirely owed to everyone who is a part of it, not only Brad. But because everyone who is a part of it knows what the fuck they’re doing, they push Brad Rochelle with grace and conviction, and Brad is nothing if not ready to ride that wave and absolutely shine as the rudder to this ship.

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Two muscled studs aren’t anywhere close to enough to conquer the veteran babyface Brad Rochelle!

Let me give you just a little premise to provide context. Brad’s reign of terror as the jobber-turned-heel has come to an abrupt end, now that KL has cottoned on to exactly what the legendary babyface Brad has been up to when The Boss’ back has been turned. Brad is bagged and tagged by the back office boys, dragged before KL quite literally sitting on his throne, and once again offered an escape clause to his soul-crushing small print servitude to his contract. If he can beat a wrestler of The Boss’ choosing, he can walk away a free man. If not, and I kid you not, he’s “fucked.” Yeah, that got my attention, too. Just as an aside, as The Boss is saying this, Kid Vicious is excitedly rubbing his crotch through his jeans. Yep, me too.

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Brutalized babyfaces stacked like firewood.

The Boss’ right-hand man, Jonny Firestorm, takes it upon himself to toss Brad’s fine, fine ass into the ring against gorgeous baby face beauties Chace LaChance and Attila Dynasty (whose massive package, which does not quite remain contained, deserves a contract of it’s own). Yes, Brad, both of them, Jonny explains. Jonny scoffs at Brad’s incredulity, pointing out a living legend like Brad should have no problem manhandling a couple of prettyboys.  Now, Brad’s faced 2-on-1 beatings before in the Contract, and though it’s never been easy, he has (post-heel-turn) come out on top. Chace and Attila are gorgeous, acrobatic, awesome competitors, but though they crash like waves into the living legend, Brad beats the living shit out of them both, one at a time. The boys are humiliated, and Brad is a fucking fantastic bully every step of the way.  He taunts and torments them. He teases and reviles them. This is incredibly hot wrestling domination, brought to a sudden and screeching halt when Jonny abruptly knocks Brad out cold with the video camera and tells the babyface wonder-twins that “the fix is on!” As Jonny leaves to show hit footage to The Boss, Chace and Attila go to town on the dazed man who has defined homoerotic wrestling suffering for a generation of us. One long 2-on-1 session brings Brad to the edge of endurance. They rip and pry and crush him. And with pathos dripping from the screen like sweet honey, the babyface hero battles back from exhaustion and rips victory from the jaws of defeat.

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Jeremy Tyler absolutely crushes Brad!

When Jonny returns to find Brad post-victory, he pounds the living legend in the face with his video camera so hard that the equipment breaks into pieces! Brad is OUT, waking only to find himself staring way, way up at pornboy wrestling muscle monster BG East newcomer, Jeremy Tyler, in the BG East matroom. I’m not sure if Brad’s nursing a concussion, but he probably is, based on his complete defenselessness against Jeremy’s pounding, grinding, ominously slow onslaught. I’m dying to see the original footage to this match, because the camera fades in and out, I’m guessing capturing Brad’s own slippery hold on consciousness as he’s dismantled, demoralized, and finally forced to flex in complete submission. “Flex for me!” Jeremy snarls in his rumbling bass voice, ripping the shoulder straps of Brad’s singlet down and showing that his muscles are decisively bigger than the “legend’s.”

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The Boss grabs hold and gets ready to deliver on his promise to make sure Brad is truly fucked.

Brad comes too, once again back in the BG East ring, now cuffed into the ropes and at the mercy (like, when wasn’t he?) of Kid Leopard. There are lines that have not been crossed with Brad, as far as I can recollect. If someone is going to cross lines, however, it’s going to be The Boss. Brad is viciously controlled by a full throttle ball claw. He’s battered and beaten by the master himself, heel-in-chief, the man who defined “homoerotic wrestling heel” even more prototypically than Brad defined “homoerotic wrestling jobber.” The Boss squeezes those luscious melons of Brad’s glutes. He yanks, hard, on Brad’s trunks to deliver one of the most mouthwatering and anticipated wedgies in history.

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They call him The Boss for a reason!

The Boss suspends Brad like a trophy elk across the top turnbuckle, choking him with his belt in one hand and crushing Brad’s testicles with abandon in the other hand. Brad screams. Brad chokes. Brad coughs in that way that he has, communicating with ever inch of his body and breath that he’s on the edge of panic and annihilation. And though I’ve mentioned it before, I just need to say again, his wedgied ass is a work of art!

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The master’s tools…

KL kicks the babyface carcass out of the ring and looks ready to put him out and make Brad pay-up on those terms he “negotiated” earlier, when shockingly, the babyface turns the tables. Slipping on a face-smothering kiss-of-death, he catches The Boss by surprise. That’s right, babyface Brad latches on Kid Leopard’s own signature hold, outmuscling the Man. Jonny Firestorm walks into the ring room and is shocked to see KL nearly out cold, desperately waving Jonny over to intervene.  “Just walk away,” Brad snarls darkly at The Boss’ intimidated henchman. Jonny wavers, second guesses, but the fierce look on Brad’s face (and possibly Brad’s glorious physique flexed and clutching his prey like a boa), convince Jonny to obey… Brad!

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Where no wrestler’s lips have gone before…

The carnage is fucking epic! Brad quite literally and, no shit, honest to god in fact, nearly drowns Kid Leopard, first in his own bidet, and then in his own toilet. The living legend has had so much more than enough. He brutalizes the heel-in-chief like I’ve certainly never seen before, finally “forcing” Kid Leopard to kiss his beautiful ass (oh, please, Br’er Fox, don’t throw me into the briar patch), and finally, climactically, flexing and threatening him from behind, makes The Boss sign the “release clause” in the bane of his life for the past 8 years: the Contract.

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Brad Rochelle – HWOTM and career finale in Catalog 100?!

This entire DVD is a work of art. You know how much I love a well-told narrative, and the boys at BG East have pulled out all the stops to deliver a compelling, shocking, climactic story of revenge, retribution, reckoning, and, perhaps, redemption. Like I said, there are no unessential elements in this production, so naming Brad HWOTM is not to imply he got there on his own. However, he more than carries through on his part of the bargain, selling both wrestling domination, soul-wrenching suffering, and a rageful, righteous reckoning that ties together every sordid chapter in the Contract series. The finale of Brad’s Contract is a perfect bookend to its beginning. And based on that finale, I have to question whether I’ll ever have another chance to name Brad Rochelle HWOTM, considering he is literally soaking in the sun on the beach and laughing to himself about what KL must have in store for Jonny “Firefly” after his second-in-command walked away and left him to the babyface’s retribution.  All of my anticipation of Brad’s return, I’m certain, contributes to the undeniable fact that his work in Contract 10 turns me on unbelievably hard, even harder than several other matches released in September that would, in any other month, have been shoo-ins for victory.  So all hail the return of the living legend, and let me be first in line to offer to follow in The Boss’ footsteps and plant my lips on Brad’s beautiful ass. Because Brad Rochelle is neverland’s reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month!

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Brad’s beginning: Catalog 18!

The Second Coming!

Or is that the third coming!? Whatever the fuck you want to call it, the earth just shook a little underneath my feet, because I just landed on the BG East website and saw the huge reveal celebrating BGE’s release of their 100th catalog: Brad Rochelle is back!

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Tease no more, Brad Rochelle is back!

I’d heard told this prophecy over 2 years ago when I made my humble pilgrimage to BG East Headquarters. Kid Leopard and several of the boys assured me that Brad was returning to the homoerotic wrestling universe and that all hell was breaking loose in response. I even was granted some epic preview pics from, what turns out to be, The Contract 10: The Reckoning, that I dutifully shared with the saints and apostles of homoerotic wrestling here at neverland. And still, over the past 2 years, I’ve been questioned, interrogated even, as to the veracity of my gospel account that Brad would one day return. Doubters and nay-sayers questioned my integrity. My devout belief in the promise handed down to me at times left me a little cold and lonely, as other homoerotic wrestling fans rolled their eyes and encouraged me to abandon all hope. It’s not really going to happen. They’re just stringing us Brad-fans along. You’ve been duped.

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Brad double-troubled.

Well, suck it you apostates! Brad Rochelle is back in Contract 10, appearing in the ring, on the mats, in the back offices, in the hallways… fuck, the guy apparently takes the action into the bathrooms of the BG East compound!  First up, it appears that Brad’s trip to hell includes facing two dangerous hunks at once in the BGE ring: Attila Dynasty and Chace LaChance. This isn’t the first 2-on-1 Brad’s faced down, and he’s been precisely the hunk with the skills and strength to come out on top in the past. But does he take two of the finest young asses in the BG East stable today?

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Brad forced to flex!!?

When I posted the potentially apocryphal photos I’d been handed from on high a couple of years ago, I misidentified Brad’s mat opponent as a shaggy-headed Denny Cartier. I was corrected, and Contract 10 provides abundant proof that Brad gets put through the ringer by none other than Naked Kombat alum, hunky stud Jeremy Tyler. The match description on the website makes it seem pretty clear that gorgeous Jeremy absolutely crushes Brad in his second-coming tracks, and the pics make me lose my shit all over again with what appears to be a forced-to-flex scenario with Brad’s head hanging down on hits chest in defeat, his arms outstretched like a homoerotic wrestling Jesus on the cross.

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The Boss takes matters into his own hands.

Holy shit, match 3 looks insane. Brad opponent? The Boss himself, Kid Leopard. Are you kidding me!?! The prototypical sadist heel extraordinaire and the hunky babyface who battled way, way back from jobberhood to give his turn on the heel wheel himself!? The Boss’ return to full-on ring action would be worthy of trumpet fanfare itself, but his return to take matters (i.e., Brad’s balls) into his own hands is nothing short of seismic! I can’t make heads or tails of what happens, because the website is milking the suspense with further sadistic mastery (like what Brad fan needed more coaxing to put in their order for this one!?). But what I see in the previews is intensely exciting, including Brad’s mouthwatering ass exposed, slapped, and, what’s this, kissed!?! There have not been many who managed to take Brad by his bull balls, but holy shit, it certainly looks like The Boss can add that to his trophy case, as well. Again I say, this looks like absolute insanity in worthy proportion to the epic historical moments that Contract 10 documents!

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Still bringing fans to their knees!

Finally, to those particular doubting Thomases who not only questioned my integrity in passing along the promise of Brad’s second-coming, but argued that Brad was probably bloated and completely out of shape at this point, again I just have to say: suck it! Fuck me, please! Brad does to me in these previews exactly what he’s done to me every moment of his career that I’ve enjoyed over and over again. He’s hot, hard, and handsome as ever, aged beautifully, and lickable from head to toe. There are lots of reasons there’s long been a feverish cadre of Brad-fanatics obsessively worshipping on their knees for every single minute of every match of his career.  Just one of the reasons is that he was, and remains, a gorgeous hunk of man!  Welcome back, Brad. Some of us have been faithfully waiting for you!

Cocks Named

Jobberinnyc made short work of this week’s Name That Cock quiz. Way to go, jobberinnyc! He knows his homoerotic wrestling cocks, and for that, he’s head of the class this week here in neverland. Let’s review his excellent work, so that you can learn from his fine example.
Cock #1 belongs to…
… BG East’s Dino Serra

I’ve seen just a few of Dino’s matches, but my impression is that he had a loud-n-proud raging erection in every match. This fine display of his major league tool comes from his thrashing at the hands of eager beaver Jarrett Cole in Wrestleshack 7.

Cock #2 belongs to…
Naked Kombat’s Race Cooper.
In particular, this shot of his rod comes from his most recent match, posted March 16, going toe-to-toe and cock-to-cock with Roman gladiator-looking beefy stud Jeremy Tyler. Pornboy Race is sculpted perfection. Damn.
Cock #3 belongs to…
… BG East’s Jose.
Holy hell, the sight of Jose’s meat always makes me gasp. Greg Leary, pictured here pinned by the python with some gratuitous pec clawing thrown in just for kicks, thought his quite impressive cock would warrant some cred when he stripped off his trunks. Pointing to his pendulous cock, Greg let Jose know that he was bringing his “quarter pounder” into the final round of their match in Hard Pros 6. Jose simply smirked dismissively and peeled out of his own trunks, illustrating that he was slapping down “the whole Big Mac.” Win-win-lose, as far as I’m concerned (Jose wins; you and I win; Greg loses).
Cock #4 belongs to…
Here, Billy has hoisted blond boytoy Dax Kelly over his gargantuan shoulders, on his way to breaking the twink down to complete adoring submission. Truth is, physiques as thick and massive as Billy’s make it tough to make even an impressive cock look proportional. However, Billy does just fine, as far as I’m concerned. The brain-trust that came up with the title “Wrestlers” for this release deserve a neverland razzie, but with Billy Herrington on the cover, who would ever remember the name of the tape?
Cock #5 belongs to…
… BG East’s heel extraordinaire, Kid Vicious.
So I’ve never admitted this to anyone, ever, but truth is that KV sort of looks like a bastard boss I used to have. This is disturbing on many levels, not the least of which is the haunting shadow image of my boss pounding his fist mercilessly into the naked cock of some poor, outclassed opponent. In this case, KV was beating the living daylights out of also-aptly named Skrapper (especially his cock) in Sexy Showdown 5: Florida Fun. I’m repeating myself when I say that KV is possibly the most accomplished master of connecting all the dots in homoerotic wrestling competing today. I’m also repeating myself when I say that Skrapper continues to catch me by surprise by how arousing I find his wrestling.
So there you have it. While jobberinnyc didn’t go the extra mile and name the opponents for yesterday’s quiz, he is nevertheless homoerotic wrestling fan #1 in the realm of neverland, at least for this week. Keep playing. Keep studying those homoerotic wrestlers, especially the ones with gorgeous asses, awe-inspiring cocks, and delightful tattoos, and maybe next week you’ll jump to the head of the class!