And the nominees are…

Polls close on Sunday, so let’s take a closer look today at a couple of the BG East “Besties” nominations, namely Best Butt and Best Bulge.  In the interest of full disclosure, I tend to be more of an ass man myself, but even I have been known to have my eyes pop out at the sight of several of these best bulge nominees in action. What constitutes a “best” bulge or butt, of course is deeply subjective.  Size, proportion, shape, and of course wardrobe choices that accentuate it just right… so many components to factor and figure. Let’s take a look at the front end first.

jobebulge
You have to imagine Jobe Zander is aching for this award after being bridesmaid two times running. His major gimmick is his “Centerpiece” after all!
jobebulge2
Hard to argue that’s a far above average bulge. Is it the best of 2014?
petebulge
Pete Sharp burst onto the scene just a couple of years ago, and there’s nothing that fails to catch my eye about the blue eyed bombshell. But I regularly gasp in astonishment at the size and heft of the mountain stuffed in the front of his trunks.
petebulge2
That requires its own zip code!
mrjoshuabulge
Best Bulge winner for the past 2 years, Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) is back again to slap down his junk and defy you to tear your eyes away.
mrjoshuabulge2
That trouser snake stretches the seams of every lucky pair of trunks that struggle to contain it!
jonnybulge
Jonny Firestorm’s first 2015 release makes him an instant frontrunner for next year’s best bulge, but it was hard to find a pic from pre-2015 that does justice to just how huge the reigning Best Heel is. But trust me. He’s fucking huge.
jonnybulge2
Jonny packs major league heat!
ethanbulge
Hard not to see why Ethan Axel Andrews gets a gasp and a nod in the slate this year. We’ve watched his body get harder and that massive bulge seem to grow bigger every year. Now that’s a workout routine I want to see!
ethanbulge2
Seriously. Massive, meaty, and swings like a sledgehammer.
gabrielbulge
Finally, Gabriel Ross is a major player in this category, but I’ve been asked to make my posts safer-for-work lately, meaning I can’t show you exactly why Gabriel is a major contender. Suffice it to say that he’s much more a grower than a show-er.
gabrielbulge2
When this monster gets stoked, seriously, step back. He could put an eye out with that cock. But does that qualify for “best bulge?”

Despite my long-standing knee-jerk adoration for Mr. Joshua’s gargantuan bulge, and defying the momentum he has the undefeated winner of this category for the 2 years the Besties have been around, I have to say it’s Pete Sharp’s behemoth that owns me. Like everything about him, that mass of man meat is aesthetically gorgeous, defiantly huge while somehow seeming perfectly proportioned to his superhuman physique. I suspect Mr. Joshua will once again have a major showing in this category, possibly taking the 3-peat, and legions of Jonny and Ethan fans will of course chime in to support their boys. I’d say Ethan is the dark horse contender here, potentially pulling in both loyal fans along with those who objectively, simply have fallen in lust with the firehose he sports.

Now let’s take a look at the back end of the chassis. I get hottest considering the Best Butt nominees.

coopbutt
Goldenboy Austin Cooper has made major progress in plot points this year, leveraging a thrilling heel turn into a mind-fuck split personality. It’s evil Dr. Cooper that I jones on hardest, but either incarnation, it’s hard to argue with the fact that luscious, round ass is gorgeous!
coopbutt2
Muscled, athletic and sweetly round and squeezable at the same time. That’s one hot contender!
kirkbutt
I thought there had to be a typo when I saw Kirk Donahue listed for Best Butt. I mean, the handsome newbie is cute as a button with an imminently fuckable body, but his ass just doesn’t jump out at me as cream of the crop. Some nominator clearly disagrees with me, though.
kirkbutt2
I’d spank it, sure, but best butt?
karismabutt
Reigning 2 time winner of Best Butt, Kid Karisma returns to flex those glutes in your face again. Rugby, wrestling, working out… there’s a formula for crafting perky, hard, insanely grabbable ass cheeks like this, and Kid K is working it to perfection.
karismabutt2
2014 was also the year we got our first glimpse of this award winning ass completely naked. I personally keep a shrine to this divine work of art in my home. Is this beauty a 3-peat?
cameronbutt
Cameron Matthews poses a challenge to evaluating his cred in this category, because he appeared in products in 2014 that have to span at least 5 years, ranging from his barely legal beauty incarnation (pictured here) to his more recent rock hard muscle stud appearance. His butt is epic regardless, but you can decide if you’re voting on his more squeezable young glutes or his muscle power-bottom.
cameronbutt2
Round, graceful, spankable 5-ways to Sunday.
gabrielbutt
Gabriel Ross is the only nominee to show up in bulge and butt categories. The Gabriel 2.0 physique that debuted a couple of years ago undeniably sports a hot, muscled, mouthful of gluteus muscles.
gabrielbutt2
Not the biggest or hardest, but for fan fantasy ass worship, this naughty fallen angel just may be the fan choice for best butt in 2014.

You know I’ve got my favorite pick of this bunch. I don’t call myself the self-appointed president of the Kid Karisma fan club for nothing. I Austin’s ass makes a compelling second place finisher, though Cameron’s butt and bevy of crazy ass fans could spell an upset to Kid K’s run for the 3-peat. Whoever wins, I’d just like to suggest that he celebrate by bending Kirk Donahue over his knee and pounding that kid’s boy-next-door-butt until he confesses who he fucked to get on this list.

So for those who want any pointers, the Bard-approved slate thus far looks like this:

Best Abs: Lon Dumont (and a bottle of honey)

Best Bulge: Pete Sharp

Best Ass: Kid Karisma

Shrines

“…a complete stranger’s secret masturbation shrine.”

A link to this post from Thought Catalog was forwarded to several of us with an overlapping interest in blogging and BG East.  It’s a clever, well-written post from some straightboy in California who stumbled across a particularly indicting… well, let’s just say indicative… scene on a recent walk in the woods in SoCal.  The author, I’m sure correctly, surmises that this is what is left of a remote jackoff session, with the remains of black-and-white computer printouts of “semi-nude male wrestlers.”  Referring to this as “a masturbation shrine,” the author marvels at the untold story of these artifacts.  Why, for example, did the owner of these images travel to such a remote spot in the woods to settle in for a moment of private ecstasy?  With the obvious availability of these images from the internet, why leave the color computer screen behind and surreptitiously carry black and whites 4 miles up a hiking trail and into the bushes to possess them for gratification?

The stuff of fantasies: Kid Karisma wrings the sweat out of Jake Jenkins in Hunkbash 12.

The reason this perhaps tongue-in-cheek blog post was forwarded to several of us was not so much for the words, but the images attached.  Take a look, and you’ll see that these are not simply printouts of “semi-nude male wrestlers.”  These are shots of some of the finest, sexiest BG East boys (with copyright intact, no less) going at it in the ring!  The close-up photo from the blog post is easiest to identify.  It’s quite clearly my top contender for the status of my favorite homoerotic wrestler, Kid Karisma, bearhugging achingly pretty, barefoot beauty, Jake Jenkins and showing absolutely no mercy in Hunkbash 12.

Barefoot beauty Jake Jenkins looks achingly vulnerable under Kid Karisma’s control

Studying the more wide angle on the scene, I’ve managed to identify 2 of the other 3 images.  Both also come from Kid K and JJ’s smokin’ hot match in Hunkbash 12.  One shows Jake looking for the world like a reincarnation of barefoot gladiator babyface Kevin Von Erich from the 80’s, getting his arms stretched out behind him as Kid K takes advantage of JJ being flat on his fine, fine ass.

Kid Karisma feels Jake’s hot body melt in a sweat soaked Boston Crab

The other image I can make out (anyone else decipher the badly “soiled” image on the bottom?) is an exquisite shot of Jake sweaty and slapping the mat in agony as Kid K torques the living shit out of JJ’s gorgeous lower back in a spine-snapping, ass-bonanza Boston Crab. Readers of neverland may remember that this is the match that, at the time, Kid Karisma identified as easily his favorite. In my interview with Kid K, he marvels at the memory of “getting a hold of that body!… I mean, I truly got to work him over completely!,” Kid Karisma enthused. “But when I had him in the Boston or bent over my knee…God, you can just feel his body melting and weakening…pretty epic.”

Pretty epic.
Epic indeed! This is quite clearly the stuff of fantasies, clearly a fantasy match for Kid K, absolutely a fantasy match for me (it’s one I come back to again and again!), and obviously a fantasy match for the creator of this masturbation shrine in the woods. I don’t know if necessity is what drove this person to find such a remote site to let the fantasy take him, or if he has a particular thing about black and white homoerotic wrestling images enjoyed in the woods. Or perhaps, as the Thought Catalog author suggests, perhaps this is making an ironic artistic statement on the disposability of culture and passion.

Fueling fantasies near and far.
Whatever it is that explains or describes the person who left these images behind, I know one thing for sure: he’s a homoerotic wrestling fan like you and I are.  And perhaps like the Gideons and like me, he’s just spreading the word about what he’s passionate about, leaving behind some provocative images that, while lost on a straightboy remembering sorting himself out as a kid to National Geographic boobies, may yet inspire another hiker to catch a glimpse of what turns him, and me, and you on: hot, hardbodied hunks wrestling for our enjoyment.
Worth a 4-mile hike.
If the kindred spirit who left these images in the woods happens to read neverland, let me know you’re out there, buddy.  Let’s strategize a better way for you to access the beauty of Kid Karisma making Jake Jenkin’s muscles melt under his control in a Boston Crab.  And I’ll personally do my best to get you an autographed, color photo from at least one of these fantasymen.  A 4-mile hike to spend time with them?  You deserve at least that!

Summer’s Back!

I was pulling weeds in my front yard yesterday and caught my first sighting of the season of a truly stunning specimen of a hunk jogging in front of my house shirtless.  I mean, this boy was gasp-worthy. Amazingly broad shoulders, lightly hairy and powerful pecs, defined six-pack, lean & defined quads.  Handsome face with a square jaw, short-cropped near-buzz-cut.  But as he passed me and I stared openly, the view going was more incredible than the view coming.  Incredibly gorgeous, muscled back tapering down to a narrow waist, with those hot, thin nylon running shorts slit up the side encasing incredibly powerful glutes bulging so beautifully I could’ve set my Mai Tai on top of that shelf.  As I watched the specimen for two blocks before he turned up a street, I could help but smile to myself and mutter, “Summer’s back.”  Here are a few more backs that make me sit back, admire, and imagine….
One of the most gorgeous shots of my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler: Lon Dumont in Tag Team Torture 15.
Current top contender for the favorite title showing off his award winning backside: Kid Karisma in Matmen 23.
Alexi Adamov’s beautiful back muscles and bulging butt in Ring Revenge 1.
The stunningly pretty shelf of Pretty Pete Sharp from Gazebo Grapplers 14.
Paul Perris’ vintage backside beauty.
Multiple HWOTM winner Denny Cartier’s beautiful back in trouble in  Ring Revenge 1.
Chace LaChance’s stunningly built back displayed to perfection in Braden Charron’s bear hug in newly released bonus to Summer Sizzlers.
Tyrell Tomsen’s physical perfection from trapezius muscles to calves in Strip Stakes 1.
Another vintage babyface bodybuilder back belonging to Can-Am’s Jonny Olson
Cameron Matthew’s sweaty back glistens in new release Mat Hunks 9.
Brad Barnes bulges everywhere. Everywhere. As he surveys demolished Chace in Pec Bash 2
Incredibly broad wingspan on long, strong Paladin facing Stage 2 of Jonny.
Rio Garza showing off his Can-Am credentials along with his professional physique model body.

Make Me Feel It!

Another fine year has passed for me, and a new one is beginning today.  Birthday’s rock.  Love them, and not just because of the corporal punishment aspect of getting a swat on the ass for each year.  I’m treating myself to a day of doing absolutely nothing, so I’ll make this post brief.  Thanks for the well-wishes and offers to slap down a spank or two (or 42) or even the occasional offer of some birthday headscissors or an OTK backbreaker.  You all are damn sweet, and I wouldn’t trade you for anything… except possibly one of these guys below wailing away at my ass.
My pick last year for Spanker-in-Chief, Kid Karisma, gets his award winning ass tanned by Mike Martin in Sunshine Shooters 5
Missing my wrestling pornboys lately, so I’m back to enjoy watching swoonworthy Vance “The Vice’ Crawford slap down the spoils of victory on a bent-over Cameron Kincade.
Classic tormentor Dino Phillips relishes the sweaty slap of his hand on Peter Bishop’s trapped ass in X-Fights 11

Jeremy Stevens sets up shop all over Jessie Coulter’s muscle ass in Naked Kombat’s recent Muscle Match.

Possibly the sexiest pairing of asses includes Big Sexy smiling down at Cameron Mathews’ angry red ass as he wails away in Rough and Ready 21.

Making Jake

The next catalog apparently has a new Jake Jenkins match previewed in BG East Arena this week, in which the former homoerotic wrestler of the month squares off on the mats with always underestimated and deceptively dangerous Skrapper.  It’s been a while since I posted a dose of Making Jake, so let’s consider more of the ABC’s that make Jake Jenkins such a compelling homoerotic wrestler.
K is for “kneel at my feet, bitch!”

..kneel.  Pry your eyes away from the aesthetic perfection of Kid Karisma’s award-winning ass and appreciate the stunningly sexy dominance he has over Jake in their sexy-as-hell ring match for Hunkbash 12.  I could come up with an A-Z catalog just documenting the insanely sexy wonders (yes, that’s 3 uses of the word “sexy” in 2 sentences!) that my top contender for reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler (Kid K) does to his highly acrobatic “monkey boy” opponent, Jake.  Potentially the sweetest of all is when Kid K drags this lovely homage to Kevin Von Erich off the mat by a fistful of hair, his own stunning muscles pumped and primed, staring down at the sweaty, battered, beaten, slack jawed beauty before him as humiliatingly makes Jake kneel.

L is for leaping from the turnbuckle!

leap. Speaking of acrobatics and being a monkey boy, there’s nothing more provocative about Jake than watching him in his natural habitat, swinging from the ropes and climbing the corners of a pro wrestling ring.  The 5’7″, this top babyface of 2012 could make hay for days capitalizing on a low center of gravity and his hot, thick musculature.  Fuck that.  Jake loves to fly, like when Rock Hard Wrestling’s stud puppy, Cliff Johnson’s long lovely bod is flat on it’s back, the overhead lights spinning in his eyes, and his tag team partner a couple of miles away, helpless to do anything but watch his buddy about to get pummeled from projectile Jake.  Cliff’s tantalizing helplessness laid out like a turkey dinner delightfully makes Jake leap!

M is for pushing the mild-mannered stud too far and making him mad!

mad.  I enjoy Jake’s range.  For example, in his tag team match alongside partner Austin Cooper, staring across the ring at Lon Dumont and Nicholas Rush, he chuckles at the start of Tag Team Torture 15.  The boys in stars and stripes think that they’ve got absolutely nothing to worry about.  They’re gorgeous, powerful, and probably Coop’s biceps are about twice as thick and strong as newbie Nick’s quads.  And they’ve partnered in the ring possibly the most of any current (or former?) homoerotic wrestling tag team, establishing a rapport and sweet empathy for one another’s trials in the action.  But here, catch the look of fury on Jake’s face as Coop offers a hand to peel him off the mat after getting used and abused by my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, Lon Dumont.  The vulnerability of all that high octane muscle having to get a hand off the floor, combined with that rising boil of rage in his eyes is such sweet character development, as Lon Dumont makes Jake mad.

N is for watching your partner humiliated as you start to get nervous.

nervous.  That finely honed empathy Jake’s developed with frequent tag team partner Austin Cooper is a double-edged tool, of course.  On the one hand, Jake and Coop can probably finish each other’s sentences like an old married couple by now, having grown to know exactly what to expect from one another in the heat of battle.  Knowing your partner’s tolerances and limits, having confidence in your partner’s strengths and loyalty… these are fine weapons to bring to bear as a dangerously devastating tag team.  Then again, all that empathy can serve just to share the suffering when one of you is getting crushed and humiliated and you’re stuck obeying the rules from your corner.  When expert sadist and prettyboy basher Ethan Andrews gets his mitts all over Coop’s soaked, bulging body, things start to take a turn for the worse for team goldenboys.  Locking Coop up tight in a camel clutch and prying his helpless head backward to show the camera the handsome stud’s tortured humility leaves Jake pleading with his partner to rally, stretching his hand hopelessly inside the ring so far out of reach, paining the fresh man in the corner to watch his buddy getting messed up and taunted, and with Coop fading fast and looking like he’s about to literally cry uncle, making Jake nervous.

O is for finally putting Mr. Mountain Dew out cold and leaving a little drool dribbling from the corner of his mouth, oblivious.

oblivious.  Jake is not at all unlike a can of Mountain Dew vigorously shaken and then popped open: a concentrated burst of energy exploding all over the ring with a sugary sweet aftertaste.  Kid K called him a monkey boy because Jake doesn’t stop moving, climbing, leaping, sprinting.  He’s a fantastic combination of grace and power, and even when he gives away a fall, you get the sense the rubber ball is just about to bounce right back up.  So it’s probably no wonder that so many of his opponents can only claim an enduring victory over him after they’ve rendered the fitness model unconscious.  All that kinetic energy, all that motion and coordination and acrobatics and emoting go slack, and the allure of a muscled athlete dozing away, completely at the mercy of another man, is the homoerotic wrestling money shot for me.  What a thrilling climax it is to watch 2012’s top heel, Jonny Firestorm, take total possession of 2012’s top babyface in 2012’s best squash of the year, Jobberpaloozer 12, when he makes Jake oblivious.

Having put in my time marveling at Jake today, let me simply offer my assurances to BG East’s winner of best abs and best debut of 2012 that I’ll be stroking his ego as well, soon!

Telling Stories

Regular readers know my tastes.  I’m not coy about being being particularly turned on by action in a wrestling ring, guys with tattoos, muscular asses, shaved heads, hair pulling, erotic tag teams, over-the-knee backbreakers, trapped in the ropes muscle torture, ego-bashing trash talk, overcoming long odds, and story telling (just to name a few of my favorite things).  If I absolutely had to give up all but one of those things, I think I’d have to hang out to the bitter end for my lustful desire for a well-told story.  I’m a drama/melodrama junkie, and wedded with homoerotic wrestling, a compelling story with 3 dimensional characters, a story arc, a climax and a sexually dominating denouement is powerfully satisfying for me.  Thus my delight in homoerotic wrestling fiction (writing it, but especially reading that of others).   I’ve also lately been particularly titillated to learn that some of the juiciest morsels from the pages of this blog and my fondest homoerotic wrestling matches have also begun blogging.

Monaco on the mats.

Ben Monaco is the latest wrestler that I know of who’s started documenting his journey into on camera homoerotic wrestling with his blog, Monaco Off the Mats.  His first post is text-intensive, meaning I’m already powerfully aroused, as Ben describes this new chapter in his life in which a chance encounter on Grindr led inevitably down the path toward Ben’s metamorphosis into a rising star in the homoerotic wrestling business.

Most recently, Ben got his hands (and tongue) all over massive rookie Alain LeClair in Mat Scraps 2.

Check out Ben’s story and encourage him to keep up the narrative, because I’m going to blow an artery if I don’t get to read subsequent chapters of his journey.  He’s also offered to answer questions, and I know I for one have been cataloging new ones to ask ever since he granted me an interview soon after his debut for BG East.  I find that blogging is work, my friends, and a healthy dose of positive reinforcement is essential to enduring lapses in motivation to keep going, so get on Monaco Off the Mats and tell Ben you want to know what happens next!

That Ginger Guy!

My recently slapped down top contender and long-time title holder of my favorite homoerotic wrestler (and BG East’s 2012 winner for Best Butt) Kid Karisma, has a blog that he updates irregularly, but delightfully when he does.  That Ginger Guy! (perfectly named, to match his physical perfection), hasn’t been updated in a few months, sadly.  Personally, I’m dying to know if he lost the ginger whiskers once No Shave November was over (’cause I’m saying right now I’d like to see those full blown whiskers in the ring!).  And who’s with me in harboring a crazy lust to watch the karismatic one crush objects between those rugby-built quads?  And I’m still hoping to see some incriminating post-party, slack jawed, drooling evidence of what homoerotic wrestling’s most infamous party boy looks like in the back seat on the way home.  We know that Kid K will dish, god bless him, and I can’t think of a better theme for That Ginger Guy! than a much needed gossip rag for the homoerotic wrestling industry.  Pass the word along and let’s get Kid K back at the keyboard.

Cameron Mathews sells the goods.

Cameron Mathews launched his personal/professional wrestling website last summer, and he’s done a decent job of keeping the material fresh and liberally laced with beefcake.  He tends to be a man of relatively few words, but they’re typically well-chosen and paired with some sweet video and stills, CameronWrestler.com offers some inspiring insights into the hardest working homoerotic wrestler on the scene.  He’s also periodically selling Cameron-memorabilia for his army of fans to purchase, like his current sale on liberally sweat-stained trunks (it’s never too early to start Christmas shopping for Bard, friends).  Most provocatively, I think, is Cam’s offer to tape custom wrestling matches, and there are a boatload of testimonials bearing evidence that his Pro vs. Joe private bookings leave his fans supremely satisfied.

What naughty thoughts is Aryx thinking now?

My most recent interviewee, Aryx Quinn, has more of Twitter presence than anything else on the internet, but he does have a website that’s been promising a new, expanded source for all things Aryx for quite a while.  I hope that those of you populating the Twittersphere will start bombarding @TristanBaldwin with pleas for more Aryx Quinn wrestling access.

Drake Marcos knows drama.

For months I’ve been encouraging ambitious rookie Drake Marcos to start blogging about his journey into the hearts and lusts of homoerotic wrestling fans (and a particular homoerotic wrestling producer who’s clearly taken a shine to the eager baby face beauty).  Drake keeps promising me it’s on his to-do list.

Talk about a story to tell!

And then there are plenty more homoerotic wrestlers I think ought to blog.  I know for a fact Kid Leopard is online at least 25 hours out of every day.  Can you imagine some free association narrative from the man who’s gone from down and dirty heel to heading his own international wrestling empire?!

Tease no more, Kid Vicious!

And please, people, if you know Kid Vicious, tell him he’s GOT TO either give me that interview he’s been teasing me with for (I kid you not) at least 8 months, or launch a Kid Vicious blog to let us get a glimpse of the dark recesses of his fantastically homoerotically kinked wrestling mind.

Do you need a kidney, Lon!?

I’d sell a kidney for more access to Lon Dumont, as well.  Pro wrestler turned competitive bodybuilder turned homoerotic wrestler!?  That’s worth a made for TV movie at the barest minimum, and much more obviously deserves some custom-made Lon served up for some voracious fans (line starts directly behind ME!).

Clearly Brad Rochelle knows his way around a keyboard.

Yes, I love a story told well.  And I’m sure that there are other wrestlers we could think of that we’d like to hear much, much more from.  Then again, I’m sure not every homoerotic wrestler fancies clicking away at a keyboard, but I’m equally certain (and I have documentation to prove it) that there are more than a few wrestling fantasymen adept and accomplished in crafting the English language into compelling and erotically satisfying narrative.  I’m typically a half a decade behind the times, but I’m hoping against hope that more web presence and online drama is where the hot world of homoerotic wrestling is heading!

Best of…

The best of BG East in 2012 poll results have been posted.  Joe’s also posted a summary of the winners,  implying that he and the popular vote may have parted ways at several points.  Same for me, I think.  Honestly, I can’t remember who I voted for in several categories, despite the fact that I voted just a few days ago.  It’s probably the remnants of my anti-inflammatory and pain meds working their way out of my system.

Sexiest  Match: StripStakes 3 – Morgan Cruise vs Damien Rush
I do like numbers though, and I’m happy to see a few more data points available than just who won. For example, Morgan Cruise’s rip ‘n strip ‘n force to cum rookie welcome of Damien Rush in StripStakes 3 scored the trophy for sexiest match in 2012, but check the stats.  The match I voted for, Cage Thunder and Lightning Rod’s insanely sexy 2-on-1 destruction of achingly adorably Stinger in Masked Mayhem 9 was just 1 percentage point behind.  I think the heat of this competition deserves seeing Cage Thunder and Lightning Rod tag team once again, this time against Morgan and Damien!
Best Mat Battle: Matie Rookies Eli Black v Jake Jenkins

I was with the herd in selecting best mat battle.  Jake Jenkins and Eli Black’s Mat Rookie confrontation is a match I think will stand the test of time.  And it was 20 percentage points ahead of 2nd place!  When we do a best of the best vote for the next decade anniversary or 100th catalog of BGE, I think Jake and Eli could contend for the title against a broader field.

Best Ring Match: Babyface Brawls 2 Austin Cooper v Cameron Matthews
I can’t remember for certain, but I think my vote for best ring match went with runner-ups Jonny Firestorm and Jake Jenkins in Jobberpalooza 12: The Works, rather than category winners Cameron Matthews and Austin Cooper for Babyface Brawl 2.  I wouldn’t argue with that outcome at all, really, even though just 5 percentage points separated 1st and 2nd place.  I thought that was a very competitive category with several very worthy contenders.

Top Babyface: Jake Jenkins
For best babyface, I think I again went with the herd in picking winner Jake Jenkins who pulled it out by 6 percentage points over Austin Cooper.  There are extremely fierce fans in both of these boys’ camps, so I’m not surprised they rose to the top.  I’m sort of pleased that of the two, Jake topped Coop.

Top Heel: Jonny Firestorm

Honestly, I just can’t remember who I voted for top heel, but it could have been winner Jonny Firestorm who beat out equally likely candidate I may have voted for, Kid Karisma, by 11 points.  Since there was no category for most mindblowing forearms (next year, people!), I’m glad Jonny tucked this one under his belt.

Best Squash: Jopperpalooza 12: The Works Jonny Firestorm v Jake Jenkins
Best squash was not close at all, but I sided with the 17% of decisively swung for Kid Karisma’s gorgeous, sexy beatdown on Skip Vance in Mat Mayhem 23 rather than category winner Jonny Firestorm and Jake Jenkins for Jobberpalooza 12: The Works.  I’m glad The Works got a shout out somewhere in the poll results, though.  And the writing was on the wall, really, with Jake voted top babyface and Jonny voted top heel!

Jobber of the Year: Rio Garza
Jobber of the year went to fan favorite Rio Garza by 9 percentage points over my pick, Skip Vance.  Rio’s got an extremely loyal and not infrequently aggressive (to the point of rude) fan base that makes this result unsurprising to me.  For my tastes, however, Skip is much more a classic jobber and entertaining sell.  Rio’s awfully entertaining to watch job, too, though.

Debut of the Year: Eli Black
Again, I think was with the herd in picking Eli as the best debut of 2012 by 12 points over Damien, though this could easily have gone a different direction and I’d have been entirely on board.  It feels like Eli’s been at BG East for years and years, which suggests to me why this was, as Eli would be happy to tell you, his year!

Best Spotlight Release: Wrestler Spotlight: Austin Cooper
Best spotlight release feature was an 11 point spread between Eli and category winner Austin Cooper.  While this doesn’t surprise me, and if I were a betting man I’d have put money down and made money back on this outcome, I placed my vote for last place winner Denny Cartier because his Leopard’s Lair 4 anchor position was fucking AWESOME, and essentially 4 barnburner and brutal bouts for the price of 2.  I love, love, love me some Denny Cartier and one of my fondest wishes for 2013 is to see him tap into a nasty streak and headline a new category for next year’s voting: best heel turn!

Best Abs: Eli Black
Best abs was a surprisingly (to me) narrow victory of 2 points by Eli over Jake.  What makes for “best” when it comes to bodies and their parts is, obviously, subjective, however my vote went for Lon Dumont by a mile and a half.  At the risk of pissing off Eli, I just have to say Eli’s phenomenal 8-pack seems to me to be about 60% conditioning and 40% mass, whereas Lon’s anatomy chart abdominals (the whole pacakge: serratus, obliques, abdomini) are a more aesthetically balanced and all around stunning beauty.  I don’t begrudge Eli’s victory at all, mind you, but I just shake my head and contemplate my vast distance from the herd when I see that Lon placed last.  For me and my tastes, I think this calls for a Lon v Eli gut bash in 2013.

Best Bulge: Mr. Joshua Goodman
I was, however, right in the middle of the pack in voting for best bulge winner (by 4 points) Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!), who slapped down his junk to power hit past Gabriel Ross’ anaconda.  There wasn’t one candidate in this field that couldn’t easily own the title, and I’d go so far as to say that this year was a bumber crop of mountainous packages. Now the task for 2013 is for one of those club boys that he likes to take home and challenge to wrestle for the chance to put Mr. J on his knees, to literally shock the pants off of Mr. J and finally, finally, finally unleash the beast within.  I guarantee I’ll buy three copies of that release!

Best Butt: Kid Karisma
Best butt was a horse race between category winner Kid Karisma and 2nd place finisher (by a nose) Cameron Matthews.  While we can’t go wrong with any of the contenders for this title, I’m happy to admit I voted for and was campaign chairman for Kid K’s glorious glutes to grab this title.  Again, I say, the ferocity of this competition clearly warrants a Kid K v Cameron rip ‘n strip ring battle to be decided by who makes whom kiss his ass. I’ll pay a premium for a front row seat to that one!

Best Body: Rio Garza
Best body again revealed the distance between me and the herd, with Rio Garza taking the title by 4 points over 2nd place Austin Cooper.  Arguably, this could be the most subjective of all of these wildly subjective categories, because what bodies turn us on follow such divergent tastes in bodies among wrestling fans.  If this were strictly about physical conditioning and muscle mass, the 2 bodybuilders at the bottom of the heap, Magnus and my choice Lon Dumont, could have easily vied for the top spots.  Again, this line of reasoning makes my loins ache to see Magnus and Lon in a head-to-head catchweight ring match of bodybuilding beauties.  However, 21% of fans preferred the body of beautifully proportioned, lickably smooth Rio, which I get, despite my tastes drawing me strongly elsewhere.

Hottest Liplock: X-Fights 34 Gabriel Ross and Drake Marcos
The final category placed me back among the masses in selecting the blazingly hot X-Fights 34 match between Drake Marcos and Gabriel Ross, obliterating the competition with 54% of the vote!  Truth be told, I could easily be tempted to swing for the incredibly sexy and, yes, I’ll say it, wrestling romantic liplock that Enforcer slapped on Maskador in Masked Mayhem 10 as the ripped hunk hung battered and helpless in a tree of woe, halfway to being entirely unmasked.  I admit it: I’ve also gotten off to that scene from Spiderman where Tobey Maguire hangs upside down, his masked half pulled off, as his co-star sucks hero face.  Gorgeous fantasy!  But holy hell, the heat generated by Drake and Gabriel could heat Reykjavik for year!
What a year!  BG East pieced together an incredible collection of outstanding homoerotic wrestling, and all of the nominees and the entire catalog of 2012 releases deserves all this and much more credit.  Nicely done, gentlemen! 

Your Civic Duty

There’s no category for most phenomenal forearms, but you can vote for Jonny Firestorm as  Best Heel of 2012.

I’m still recovering from a wrenched neck, but I wanted to broadcast loud and clear your moral imperative to vote in the currently (and briefly!) running, first ever (I believe), BG East year-end review fan poll.  We have 14 categories to vote for our favorites of the 2012 BG East releases, and the decisions are brutal, I tell you!  I just submitted my ballot, and I found it seriously tough to pick from the extremely fine field of contenders.  The Best Bulge category alone took me about 20 minutes to painstakingly research, because how do you decide between the pendulous packages of Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!), pretty Pete Sharp, Jobe Zander, Dylon Roberts, and Gabriel Ross!?  I don’t want to unduly influence the democratic process, so I’ll try to refrain from telling you who to vote for (though, seriously, people, check out my first day of Christmas present before you register your vote for Best Butt!).

For your consideration: Kid Karisma is up for Top Heel and Best Butt

This blog is also abundantly quoted in the year end celebration from BG East in which they announced the poll.  I feel like I say it a lot, but it bears repeating, the boys at BG East (both in front of and behind the cameras) are true friends of neverland, not just because they produce the top tier homoerotic wrestling products available, but also because they indulge me with permissions to use their copyrighted materials.  And most importantly, they’re just good guys… generous, understanding, and having just as much fun making these wrestling fantasies happen as you and I enjoy consuming them.  Whoever comes out on top of the polls, BG East is chocked full of winners in my book.

Lon Dumont is nominated for Top Heel, Best Abs, Best Butt, AND Best Body!

Now go vote, because polls close this Sunday, January 20, midnight EST.  And if you do want me to tell you who to vote for, just ask.

On the First Day of Christmas, Santa Brought to Me…

About a third of the world is of the variety to celebrate Christmas, which seems neither here nor there with regard to this blog.  However, I’m never one to pass up the opportunity to sit on a big, burly, mature bear’s lap and ask for goodies that I’ve done absolutely nothing to deserve.  So I found the nearest mall Santa about a week ago.  He had a real beard, but his breath smelled like onions, so the illusion was a little ruined for me.  However, when he asked if I’d been a good boy, I crossed my fingers and swore up and down that I was an angel all year.  Thus assured, he went for the money shot: “So what would you like for Christmas this year, little boy?”  At precisely the moment that the mall photographer snapped a shot of the two of us, I proceeded to describe in specific detail my list of lustful obsessions.  Santa got awful quiet.  His face turned a little rosier than usual.  I have no idea how often he gets requests for candid shots of homoerotic wrestlers showing off their best (and my favorite) assets especially for me.  I thought the old guy might have been a little scandalized, but I swear  to Jack Frost that Santa sprouted wood (and sitting on his lap, I should know!).  Santa patted my balding head gently with a bit of a dazed and befuddled look in his eyes.  He didn’t even say goodbye!  I walked away with no promises made and perhaps just a little anxiety that I was about to be chased off the property.  However, I was not led away in handcuffs by a big, burly mall cop (perhaps that’ll be on next year’s wish list).  Like so many fantasies of magical thinking, I woke up this morning prepared for my dreams to be shattered.  And then, to what did my wondering eyes should appear, but possibly the sexiest Christmas gift… ever!  Santa came through, and BIG time!  On the first day of Christmas I got the very first item on my wish list!

“On the first day of Christmas, Santa brought to me…”

From Santa to me, via my long-reigning #1 favorite homoerotic wrestler (who is as generous as he is dizzingly sexy!), the first day of Christmas brought me a photo shoot starring one of the (or just the?) sexiest asses on the planet which belongs to, of course, perfectly naughty erotic wrestler Kid Karisma.

I must have been a very, very good boy!

Santa, BABY

Clearly Santa and Kid Karisma know exactly what’s on my list of favorite things!
Sexiest sight on the planet: Singlet straps off the shoulders and sliding down Kid Karisma’s world class ass! 
Seriously, I asked for “a candid pic of Kid K showing his ass just for me,” but Santa brought me an entire Kid K ass montage!
And gravy on top: Kid K sharing a gratuitous shot of his 8-pack and tree trunks!  I’m feeling extremely warm and toasty right now!
Oh… my… god!  Yes, without a doubt, I believe in Santa… and I just had an extremely messy Christmas  morning wank! Thank you (a thousand times) Santa and his #1 sexy helper, Kid Karisma!

Drake Is Just Getting Started

I love it when BG East fans turn the corner and become BG East wrestlers!  For one thing, I think they’ve got a leg up in already knowing the scene.  A wrestler who arrives already knowing the story of the epic heel turn of Brad Rochelle, for example, is immediately starting off at an entirely different level in speaking to me as a fan, I think.  But even more, a new wrestler who has been a long-time fan has a greater chance of already knowing about fan blogs like this one.  Case in point: BG East rookie x-fighter, Drake Marcos.  Well before his debut release in X-Fights 34, I caught sight of sexy Drake in a behind-the-scenes pic off off Kid Karisma’s blog post about the September taping in Pembroke.  Young Drake caught my eye, sandwiched so tightly between big, burly bear Red Baron and blond, blue-eyed Canuck, Blaine Janus.  I gushed a bit here at neverland, speculating on what this handsome young hottie might bring with him as a newbie to the scene.  Little did I know that Drake not only follows BG East as an avid fan, he also reads neverland!  He reached out and thanked me for the shout out.  One thing led to another, and of course I talked BG East’s newest x-fighter into giving me an interview.  I had no idea the auspicious location he was in when we chatted, and another surprise I had, once I had Drake on the line, was how fast time flies when chatting with him.  He likes to talk about all things homoerotic and wrestling every bit as much as I do, and you and I both know that’s saying a whole, whole lot!  So here’s the transcript of my extensive chat with the cheshire cat of BG East’s rookie line up in Catalog 96.  For your viewing and reading pleasure, let me introduce Drake Marcos

Drake Marcos: 5’10”, 155 lbs, damn happy to wrestle for BG East!

Bard: So, Drake Marcos, it’s a great pleasure to meet you! On behalf of BG East fans, welcome into our wrestling fantasies! If I’m not mistaken, you’re the handsome stud sandwiched between Blaine Janus and Alan aka Red Baron in one of Kid Karisma’s pics that he posted on his blog in September. How does it feel with your debut release just out, to have joined the elite ranks of BG East wrestlers?

Drake first appeared here at neverland as that unnamed hottie between Blaine Janus and Red Baron

Drake: Pleasure to meet you as well, Bard! And you’re far too kind! I am the fresh face from KK’s blog. That shot was taken before heading out to the airport after a whirlwind week of shooting at the fabled BG East house. After reading this blog in the past and gaining some insight on what makes some other wrestling fans tick, it’s different to be in the role of “wrestler,” and no longer just a fan. It’s exhilarating to be on camera once again doing something that began as a hobby, and kind of “dirty little secret”, and it’s even more so that people are responding to my BG East debut. And with that new catalog? I am extremely proud of being a part of that lineup and mixing it up with guys I’ve admired for a bit now.

“My smile has a mind of its own…”

Bard: It’s obvious from your debut match against that brand new muscleboy version of Gabriel Ross that you’ve got plenty of insight into what makes erotic wrestling so hot! Before I ask you about getting your hands all over lovely Gabriel, though, I want to ask how you were “discovered?” The website says that you contacted them, they checked you out, and then you got the invite to show up for that whirlwind week of shooting. What was the vetting process like? How did it feel to get the word that you made the cut and were invited to join the ranks of BG East wrestlers?

Drake: The story on the site is kind of oversimplified. Basically I’ve known Kid Leopard for nearly a decade. We’ve had multiple conversations online. He’d extended the offer to bring me out for training in the past, but there’s a long backstory involving inner spiritual turmoil and near crippling body dysmorphia issues, and I demurred for a good while. Then, late last year, I jokingly applied as a model for the now-defunct HBWL and was put in contact with the owner, and next thing I know, I’d completed three shoots for them and received a message on, also now defunct, Grunts ‘N Groans from KL that said, simply, “No more excuses, it’s time.” And with a slight hesitation, I accepted. With everything official and settled, I threw my ass headlong into the gym and began to get myself into better shape for BG East, and I hope that translated to camera. I credit much of the early blossoming of my sexuality to BG East, oddly enough. So the idea that someone saw me as a good fit for the site was quite overwhelming. I was determined not to let KL down with my fitness or any fans that may have been holdovers from HBWL.

Bard: I hear the jokers that write the text for the BG East website often oversimplify things! Fascinating to hear the story and to read between the lines of what sounds like even more story. I’m thrilled that you battled whatever demons were necessary to “throw your ass headlong” into this adventure! I found your presence in the mat room for X-Fights 34… compelling, to say the least. Having such a long build up to get to that day, what was it like when the boys at BG East said, “Oh, and by the way, you’re going to wrestle your first match against the massively muscled gym bunny that ate Gabriel Ross whole?”

Drake gets thrown to the wolves

Drake: Gabriel Ross ate himself whole? [laughing] That backstory is a Lifetime movie slash one-man play slash gay coming-of-age novel just…sexier, I guess, considering where it’s brought me. Hearing that I would be making my debut against Gabriel made me ten kinds of nervous. Granted I’ve a significant height advantage, and maybe (maybe!) a few pounds, I simply did not have the muscle I needed to gain an advantage against him on the mats. That, and Gabriel chose me for his first match back to the BG East world. Here I was barely off the plane and he was already preying on the unexperienced new wrestler. Nothing like getting thrown to the wolves on your first day. But if the wolves are that sexy…
          Had you asked me before fighting Gabriel who I wanted to cut my teeth against I would have picked someone equally as new and with similar stats, but after? I can’t imagine a better way to get the ball rolling. And it definitely got me amped for the opponents I had later in the week.

Bard: I know of no other believable explanation for how lovely “little” Gabriel Ross turned into that massive musclebound basher than to believe a gorgeous gym bunny ate him. I’m sticking to it. So hold that thought about who else you faced, because you know for a fact I’m coming back to that topic! But let me linger just a bit on diabolically innocent looking Gabriel hand-picking you to give you that wad-blowing welcome he gave you in X-Fights 34. So there’s just no way to miss the grin stretching from ear to ear across your face through most of this match (excluding the moments when your face is buried between his skull-crunching thighs or twisted in such exquisite agony). Was it difficult maintaining your focus on the wrestling? You get in some enviable muscle worship in there, and I couldn’t help but think jealously of the phrase “between a rock and a hard place” when he repeatedly delighted in just slamming his bulging body down on top of you and pounding the air out of your lungs. Was the mix of pain and pleasure what you expected it to be, and would you do anything differently, knowing what you know now about Gabriel 2.0?

Gabriel gives Drake a thrill he’ll be chasing for a long time

“… so easy to get lost in worshipping him”

Drake: Well it took me a minute to let it sink in when I was told that Gabriel wanted to face me. First: flattered that such a hot stud wanted me for a match. Second: worry; you don’t challenge someone to a match unless you think you are going to be able to come out on top. So about that grin… I loved every second of that fight. The brief moments when I had Gabriel where I wanted him, and yes, even when he used his considerable experience to show me for the rookie I am. My smile has a mind of its own; I have a hard time suppressing emotion, so when I’m happy, that joker’s grin asserts itself. He used his considerable muscle and appeal to distract me, yes.  There were times I wanted to say: “Fuck wrestling…we’re just going to go at it!” but something deep inside told me that I needed to avenge that opening submission and, if possible, use my own sexual desire as a weapon to maybe turn the tide of the match in my favor. But it was so easy to get lost in worshipping him. It took the body splashes and the rib-crumbling body scissors to remind me that we were still fighting. The pain was a lot more exquisite than I was expecting, and the pleasure far outweighed even my strongest fantasies. The two of those things together though are something I’ll probably chase for a while. It was, essentially, my own lust and over eager attitude that contributed to my debut downfall at the hands of the Brit, and given the chance of a rematch, I would eagerly snatch it up and would definitely do better on a second go around. I’m more focused, and in better shape than the first time. Gabriel can rest easy with this win, but next time he hits American shores I’ll be ready.

Drake goes down under the expert attention of an angel-faced veteran

Bard: Well, if you’re going to “go down,” what a fantastic way to do it – in the expert hands of someone like Gabriel Ross! So, not to trigger your body dysmorphia, but I typically ask wrestlers I interview what part of their body they’re most proud of. Particularly as you’re so committed to forging your body into better and better shape, what are you liking about you’re body these days?

Drake’s new abs take a beating, which
he gives right back to Gabriel.

Drake: Overall I’ve been pretty shy about revealing my body for a great deal of my life. I’m talking cutting out of class early so I could change for PE alone. Before coming out I used to weigh about 50 lbs more than I do now, and it wasn’t muscle. That weight eventually proved itself to be stress weight and kind of melted off in quick fashion, and I never really did anything else to improve my body because I was terrified of the gym and judgment. So the dysmorphia would assert itself much more as an adult because, in my mind, I was still carrying that extra weight. It was about a year before finally accepting Kid Leopard’s offer that I started to get kind of serious about getting in shape. I mean, I was getting naked on camera in HBWL; no one wants to see an out of shape guy doing that [laughing]. My body wasn’t quite changing the way I wanted it to, and it wasn’t until I started doing Insanity that I realized where I had went wrong. And now that you see what my dysmorphia has done to my life you want me to focus on my body? [laughing] Kidding… Okay I’ve always been kind of fond of my own smile and eyes.  I’ve received compliments about them my whole life, but those are two features I can’t really be proud of because I have no hand in their development. But as I work my way through Insanity, I am noticing some amazing major changes.  I’m finally building some muscle and melting off some weight. I’m beginning to pay more attention to my legs as my thighs become solid, but my kind of favorite feature now is my rapidly developing abs. I didn’t really think I had them, honestly. After two weeks on this program they began introducing them selves to my mirror. I’ve been sore tempted to just stop and accept the body I have achieved so far because a) I’ve never felt so good in my life, and b) I’ve never looked this good in my life. The thing is though, I’m only halfway through the program; if the first half was this good to me, I can only imagine how good the next one is going to be. Before I embarked on this workout I told everyone that my goal was to look like a cheese grater.

Bard: Well, I’m guessing there are plenty of guys who’ll be happy to rub something up and down your body, but I don’t think it’ll involve cheese! You look damn sexy to me! You’re crazy-handsome (thus my fawning comparisons to John Fugelsang on my blog, who I think is incredibly hot). And your legs are simply gorgeous. I predict you’re going to make boys cry when you’ve snapped shut those scissors around them. Speaking of which, at this early point in your wrestling career, what do you think is the strongest aspect of your wrestling arsenal? What holds or maneuvers do you think are your most effective, and equally as important, what holds turn you on the hardest (either giving or receiving)?

“I’m rather fond of my full nelson/body scissors combo.”

Drake: You’re buttering me up and then asking me to wax arrogant on what I find to be amazing about myself…well played, Bard! [laughing] You’re far too kind with the compliments, but I’m fine with that. When it comes to wrestling I haven’t quite had a chance to show what I’m capable of just yet; rest assured that I will though. But I think that my good-guy attitude and good-natured personality are kind of disarming when I actually get someone in pain. I may not look tough, but that’s part of it all. I’m kind of a bitch when it gets down to it. Given the chance, I will fuck someone up. Yes, I kind of want to use my legs to dominate in the future, but until I have them up to caliber for that kind of action, I’m rather fond of my full nelson body scissor combo. Yes, Gabriel held up surprisingly well in my full nelson, but he’s also more experienced and caught me off guard. I’m really flexible and can take a lot of pain (especially now that I know what I’m up against in this company) and like to pay it back in spades. In terms of getting aroused during combat, those who’ve known me for a while know that I’m a sleeper and chokehold fanatic. Any time someone is wrapped up tight and you get to watch the fight drain from their eyes, the realization sinking in that it’s all over and there’s not a damn thing to be done, the muscles losing control and hanging limp as their body shuts down and accepts defeat is the hottest thing in the world to me.

Drake likes wrapping them up tight and watching the fight drain from their eyes.

Bard: I’m an expert butterer (take that however you’d like)! However, I refute your claim that I am too kind. I just call it like I see it. And I call your description of what turns you on about a sleeper/chokehold wildly hot! I cannot wait to see you put some stud out cold, and then disentangle yourself from his unconscious body with you fully aroused. That’s gold-plated platinum, right there, that is! Who else have you wrestled so far for BG East? And, knowing that Kid Leopard would crush both our sets of testicles if you were to answer that question, who on the BG East’s present roster would you most like to sleeper out cold?

Drake: [laughing] As for who I’d like to fall victim to my sleeper? I have a few in mind… Skip Vance for one, Len Harder for the shit talk on Grunts N’ Groans, and definitely Ben Monaco for the shit talk exchange on Facebook, that would be ultra satisfying. And I hate to say it, Bard, but I would love to take down your resident god: Kid Karisma. The first three I know are entirely possible; Kid K would be a major stroke of luck, however. Being honest, I know I’m not near the level of competition or skill for Kid K, but I would kill for the shot.

Drake has his sights set on patron saint of
neverland, Kid Karisma

Bard: That’s a fantastic menu! I love to hear that you boys mix it up with trash talk online. Nothing, but nothing hotter than an erotic grudge match! And I’d love to see you give Kid K a go! But I warn you, if you found Gabriel Ross’s hot bod distracting, you’d better include some hardcore tantric meditation to your training schedule, because you wouldn’t be the first challenger to get completely thrown off your game plan when he shoves that world class ass in your face and flexes for you. I definitely want to see that match happen… from the front row! Since you’ve been a BG East fan for a while, who are some of the classic wrestlers who’ve retired from the scene that you would’ve liked to have faced in their prime? And what are some highlights of what those fantasy matches would have entailed?

Drake: I know I’m possibly signing my own death certificate by throwing that kind of challenge out there at Kid K, and I know I’m not quite ready to compete at that level quite yet. That’s why I’m secretly hoping he doesn’t show up at a shoot that I’m at soon! But I do believe, that, with enough training and preparation that, if I can’t beat him, I’m definitely going to give that flawless ass a run for its money.

Josh Avery talks top notch trash

     Now, asking me to dig back quite a bit in my memory in my fantasies… Three names pop out immediately: Aryx Quinn, Nick Archer, and Josh Avery. Those three guys have crossed paths with each other. The first BG East match I ever purchased was a grudge match with Nick and Josh. Josh’s complete inhalation of Nick in the ring is almost the entire encapsulation of my erotic wrestling fantasies; unfortunately Josh was a one trick pony. His matches followed the same patterns that kind of wore thin after a while. Anyone who has seen more than one of his matches will know what I’m talking about. His trash talk in the aforementioned match is epic and so hot to me.

Aryx Quinn and Nick Archer round out
Drake’s classic fantasy list

     Aryx Quinn: that’s the only thing that really needs said is his name. When I first started checking out the stuff he was putting out, I loved his bad guy, pretty face, dominating attitude. But as time went on, I started seeing him get his ass handed to him and that became much hotter to me. The thought of taking down those two big-mouthed pretty boys and shutting them up? Taking a page from Josh’s own book and flexing over his unconscious body, each flex signifying a count all the way up to ten? Yea, and Aryx, finally seeing him with absolutely nothing to say, no witty retort, no stuttered trash talk, my foot on his heaving sweaty chest. That shit excites me.
     Finally Nick Archer: as much as I loved watching him getting methodically torn apart, I kind of want to experience defeat at his hands. Short, ripped little fucker, making me fade away helplessly in his classic, figure-4 head scissor. Shit, I’m going to have to revisit some of those matches for the holiday season!

Bard: Hot, hot, hot! I love the fact that you know the BGE catalogue so well. I’m making an educated guess that your familiarity with the classics will be a major asset in your evolving homoerotic wrestling career. Taking the best, hottest elements of the best and hottest wrestlers seems like it would automatically give you a huge leg up against other wrestlers, particularly other rookies. And personally, I think any wrestler who wears headgear into the ring (a la Josh Avery) should get tied into the ropes with said headgear stuffed down his trunks. But that may be just me. So Aryx, Nick, and Josh… I’m sensing a prettyboy-jock theme. Are there particular themes to the guys that get your heart pumping hardest? Angelic-looking sadists with gym bunny bodies and English accents can obviously top you off, but do you have other “tastes” that you tend toward in your guys?

Drake remembers well that it was Justin
Pierce who stole Josh Avery’s headgear and
put the trash talker to sleep!

Drake: I think it was Justin Pierce, actually, who beat Josh Avery’s ass, stripped him of his headgear and then wore it himself as he put Josh to rest. Not only that, but left Josh lying in a heap, Justin claiming the headgear as his own. – Pretty boy jock theme, huh? Never really thought of it that way; makes sense looking back on it. But I think when it comes down to wrestling and all, I think what really gets me going is the self-assured, confident, arrogant, mouthy guys who think they’re Superman, untouchable, invincible. That attitude is hot to me. However, the tantalizing thing about that attitude is when they get their comeuppance, are defeated and humiliated. Egos totally wounded, crushed, humbled. That is what gets me going. But in terms of picking guys to go toe-to-toe with, they can’t be behemoths. Or too tall, unless they have that attitude I crave. I prefer guys that are, at the very least, in as good of shape as me, or are built well. Gym bunny bodies are awesome, but guys who are a little more Everyman (in shape, but not an Adonis) are more my speed. You don’t really know what you’re going to get from those guys. They’re the ones that shock and dazzle. And then there are some that just suck [laughing]. But you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs right?

K-Pop hardbody, Jay Park

     However, I have a certain weakness for Asian guys. Spend 5 minutes researching K-Pop on YouTube (for example, G-Dragon, Tae Yang, Jay Park). Those are my penultimate, favorite guys – either in the ring, bed, or (prophetic) altar. I want those types of guys. As well as the Everyman, those are the ones you really don’t know what to expect from. I haven’t been let down thus far, let’s just say that. Accents are also a pretty good turn on as well. A good grasp of English is required, but the stumbling, fresh off the boat accents are hilarious and adorable.
     It’s always been kind of weird to me, though, when I think about the wrestling/dating aspect. I know there’s the legendary Christian/Skip fairy tale wrestling romance, that I’d like to find some day. But, usually, when I’m dating someone, wrestling them is the farthest thing from my mind. Weird, I know. But I am sort of a private person in a lot of aspects. The wrestling part of my life is kept separate from my personal life, and I’m kind of okay with that. Now that’s not to say that I don’t have fun and don’t wrestle off camera, I do that. But, at this point in time, I feel more at ease and organized with keeping the two as separate entities. Who knows, though? Maybe down the road the two will merge into a perfect union. Only time will tell.

Bard: Fascinating! It’s a sad thing not all of us can enjoy a “wrestling romance” as wrestling-hot as Christian and Skip. You’ll have to let us at neverland know if these two worlds collide for you in the future. Maybe Skip and Christian can set you up with some wrestling stud that they know of on the market. So, 1) who would be your top pick for a tag team partner, 2) who would you face first, and 3) which of the four of you ends up tied in the ropes and force-fed cock? Oh, wait, that last part is my answer to the question, “What would be the climax to that match,” so perhaps that should be your number 3.

Mr. Janus had better hold up his end of a
tag team with Drake, or else!

Drake: I’ve never really thought of the whole tag team aspect before.  It’s never figured into my fantasies. I’ve always been kind of focused on doing a job myself, but if I’m facing insurmountable odds and need help, I’d probably like to have Nick Archer on my side. The things I could learn from him! And if I can’t have him, then I’ll want Blaine Janus because he and I developed a connection at the last shoot, and I think we’d work well together because of that. And it would be fun to go up against Christian and Skip or Skrapper and Z-Man. Now I’d think Christian/Skip would fare pretty well against us in a way I don’t think Skrapper and Z-Man would. I’ve seen Z-Man go down far too many times to smaller guys to worry, and that’s a lot of weight for Skrapper to shoulder on his own. So I predict a nice win with Mr. Janus as my partner. And I see that win coming from a hard fight with me cranking one of them out in a sleeper/body scissors combo and Blaine with a nice headscissor on the other one, both studs fading out cold. And if we lose, best believe that Canuck, Blaine, will find himself receiving the torture you mentioned earlier! [laughing]

Bard: Well you may have never figured a tag team partner into your fantasies, but you’ve painted a most provocative picture that I’d pay to see! And I love hearing that you hit it off with Blaine. Damn, that guy puts the “erotic” in homoerotic wrestling! So a couple of years ago I adopted a rule that I saw Kid Leopard enforce on the BG East Headquarters discussion group, banning comments that trash wrestlers with catty comments about their bodies. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how ridiculously hypercritical gay guys can be as “consumers” of each other’s bodies (so to speak), and I occasionally round-bin a comment that someone tries to post on my blog about a wrestler being too skinny, fat, unattractive, etc. At the same time, I realize that I’m one of a chorus of voices promoting my particular tastes in men’s bodies, including (but not limited to) hard, hot muscle hunks with probably unhealthily low body fat and ridiculous genetic gifts. As a new face on the scene who’s upfront about your history of struggling with your body image, do you have any advice for homoerotic wrestling fans about how we talk about you all? And any advice for the countless guys reading these words who struggle with valuing themselves because of body image issues and that internal, hypercritical gay bitch inside each of us all too ready to tear ourselves down for not looking like some completely unrealistic ideal (aka, Lon Dumont… for me, at least)?

Drake: As part of the gay community, you are subject to unfair criticism. In terms of wrestlers, we’re stripping ourselves down on camera so the criticism is heightened. Fueled by a love of the similar tastes and wanting to put something out for the fans, that we ourselves would like to watch, is something we don’t take lightly. When it comes to attacking wrestlers: if you want to sit at your keyboard in the safety and comfort of your home and have the audacity to criticize what we look like, who we are and what we do (or don’t do), I’m not bothered, that’s your shtick. Until you have the guts to do what we do, you have nothing to stand on. We do what we do to make you happy. We have so many different guys to cast in our fantasy roles. If you see someone on the site that you don’t think is attractive or doesn’t fit your ideal, just keep clicking. We have the Adonises. We have the guys who are continuing to work on their bodies. And we have the Everyman. But to take to a wrestling blog and to attack someone’s image is a waste of everybody’s time.

Bard: I hear you! And I hope that I haven’t strayed into that particular shtick too often, because I think you’re absolutely right. You guys who strip down to nearly (or completely!) nothing and not only put your bodies on display but also put them to the test against another competitor (however competitive and/or amorous it gets) deserve 110% respect from those of us who just “consume.” And personally I get stoked by so many different “types” of wrestlers. I love getting totally taken by surprise, making a snap judgment that some wrestler isn’t going to be at the top of my list of fantasies, only to see him in action and find myself totally captured by his body, his intellect, his humor, his personality.

Drake: Yeah, I’m pretty much a fan of the old adage “Everyone is beautiful.” Because it’s true. Concepts of beauty differ greatly across racial and generational lines. Everyone needs to get to a point where they love themselves for who they currently are and what they look like.

Not everyone should look like Stretch Armstrong (who turned me gay)

Bard: So true! I watch British television a lot, and I’m often struck when they have a character who’s supposed to be some gym bunny meat head (often also supposed to be an American, interestingly) who would probably be laughed off the set as nothing special for anything being filmed in Hollywood. Presenting anything other than a highly competitive, zero-body fat, platonically proportioned bodybuilder seems too often to bring out the cattiness in some gay fans. There are a lot of different standards for judging beauty, and insisting that everyone look like a plasticine sculpture of a Stretch Armstrong doll is just ridiculous.

Drake: Since we’re talking about body image everyone needs to accept the reality of how you currently look and decide if there’s something you want to change. There are literally millions of avenues to getting into the shape you want. The hardest part of all this is committing to doing it though. It takes 2 weeks to develop a habit. Give yourself at least 14 days of doing something everyday, and then you’ll continue to do it. And the worst thing you can do going into physical fitness is wanting to have the body of someone else. No one has identical bodies. Every body is built differently and with different potentials. What you need to do is go into it wanting to be in the best shape possible: that includes a healthy diet, a good workout program, and an attitude that it is possible.

Bard: I think that sounds like an awesome attitude and approach, Drake! I think it’s also a nice corrective to the tendency to latch onto one “ideal” body and hold ourselves, and our homoerotic wrestling objects of lust, up to that one image. Your comments send me self-reflecting on this blog, and the ways that I may intentionally or inadvertently promote unrealistic body images for wrestlers and readers. Regularly picking my favorites probably says a lot about the range (or lack thereof) of what I think of as ideal. You’ve given me a lot of food for thought!

Like Zac Efron, but even better

Drake: As I apply this to myself, even before my actual attempt at getting in shape my ideal was Zac Efron. Now that I’m actually working out and seeing results I would say I have the potential to look even better! But I wouldn’t necessarily say you’re guilty of promoting unrealistic ideals. I mean, these guys exist, so it’s obviously realistic, but for them. But different bodies, different potentials. People don’t need to kill themselves to look like someone else, because what’s the fun in that? Don’t you want to stand out from the crowd? I worship at the altar of individuality often. I celebrate people who are completely their own person and don’t compromise to fit other people’s perceptions. Whenever I witness someone doing something completely out of the norm I find myself wanting to be a part of it. That’s how it’s been my whole life, always something new, off the wall. And ultimately I think it’s that attitude that’s brought me here. BG East is not filled with a bunch of skinny boys having sex. It’s filled with all body types struggling against each other to achieve physical dominance and superiority. It’s primal. It’s sensual. It’s hot as hell!

Bard: Hell, yes! Smokin’ hot wrestlers come in all sorts of packages! I’ll take that “necessarily” to heart, and I sincerely appreciate your words of caution about worshipping too much at the altar of cookie-cutter fitness model physiques. I think this conversation is good for me as I think about how I write about wrestlers and how I think about my own fitness goals. You rock.

Drake: Well, it’s your blog, your little corner of the web to say what you think unfettered by other people’s thoughts. If you feel like saying someone has the penultimate bod, I think you should be allowed to express that. One more thing I wanna say about fitness before we move away from that is: I am not a fitness guru, nor am I a physical trainer. I’m far from that. I’m just a guy who came late for the party and is stuck cleaning up the mess. I can only speak from my personal, frighteningly sparse, experience. So with that forewarning, another key to getting yourself on track is friends and accountability. I lost track of how many people have noticed my improvements, even ones that I didn’t see with my mirrored “progress checks” (which occur every few hours.) That, especially, serves to buoy and foster confidence that what you’re doing is working: other people’s validation. You’re your own worst critic, but once you’ve got others on board supporting you, those self-defeating voices eventually begin to fade.

Bard: Again, that sounds like excellent advice! So… Zac Efron? Okay. I’ll be fine with you having his body (or better). But as for who you look like, when I saw Kid K’s pic of you from the September shoot at BG East, I mentioned on my blog that you sort of had a John Fugelsang look about you. Tell me that you get that all the time, that you look like John Fugelsang. And holy shit, John Fugelsang as an X-fighter homoerotic wrestler… holy… shit! What an idea!!!

Separated at birth?

Drake: [laughing] I didn’t even know what a “John Fugelsang” is, but a quick search online shows he’s an actor with some left-leaning comedic leanings, which I can definitely get into. But yeah, I kinda see it.  As for others I’ve asked: no one knows who he is either. So I’m afraid you’re kind of alone in that. I have, however, been compared to other celebrities: Ricky Ullman (Disney Channel’s “Phil of the Future”), Jim Parsons (Sheldon of “Big Bang Theory), Tony Dow (Wally of “Leave It To Beaver – 50s sitcom), and Sean Hayes (Jack from NBC’s “Will and Grace”). But since Kid Leopard can work magic maybe we can get that matchup between me and Fugelsang put together. A loosely connected sequel to “The Time Traveler’s Wife,” but this would be “The Time Traveler’s Battle,” where he travels back in time to wrestle his younger self [laughing].

Wally Cleaver as erotic wrestler!

Bard: I’m okay with being fettered… if it’s consensual. And I’m okay if I’m the only guy in the world who suddenly found America’s Funniest Videos wildly erotic during the brief period it was co-hosted by John Fugelsang. Seriously, I… got… off to AFV for him. Sharing too much? Suffice it to say I intended the Fugelsang comparison as a major compliment. And you X-fighting John Fugelsang would surely rip a hole in the space-time continuum with the over the top explosive eroticism. I had to look up Ricky Ullman, which suddenly makes me feel old. However I think you’re several times hotter than Jim Parsons or Sean Hayes, though if I saw you in black and white, I think I’d agree with the Tony Dow comparisons. I won’t bother going into detail about what Leave It to Beaver reruns did for me (a lot).

Drake: I had a nagging suspicion that I had seen him in something before but couldn’t put my finger on it, but you nailed it! I have seen Fugelsang around before, just didn’t know his name! Since I’m apparently his doppelgänger, it’d be in poor taste for me to say I find him attractive, right? This all being said, I really am going to develop an ego with all the compliments you’ve been feeding me… Stop…please…(keep ‘em coming)! [laughing]

Bard: Well I’m fantasizing about you in an X-fight with Fugelsang, so if you find him attractive, all the better on my end. So we’ve been at this interview for a while, and I think I could keep chatting for hours longer with you, but I suspect you have a life to get on with. You’ve given neverland readers, and me in particular, a ton of great stuff to ponder and look forward to. Anything else you’d like to say by way of introduction to BG East fans sitting up and taking note of Drake Marcos’ arrival on the scene?

Drake: I’ve had a blast chatting with you about all of this and am so sad it’s ending! This has been way too fun! As we talk, I’m sitting in an airport in Atlanta waiting for my flight to Ft. Lauderdale where I will be getting up to some more BG East hijinks, so definitely want to say you can expect more from yours truly, Drake Marcos. Maybe some of my comments here can prick the ears of future challengers and we can get the wheels rolling on those. I plan on either starting blogging or tweeting soon (I’ll keep you informed) to capture all of the BG East goodness, because I’d like to be at this for a little bit. I derive great pleasure in giving people what they want to see and hear so stick with me, because Drake is just getting started.

Having had a taste of BG East wrestling,
Drake is definitely heading back for more!

Bard: Fantastic to hear that you’re on your way to your next taping with the BG East boys! I hope it’s wildly raunchy and incredibly hot! And I love the news that you’re contemplating documenting your journey in homoerotic wrestling in blog or tweet format. Let me know the moment you start so we can get folks tuning into Drake Marcos’ next big adventure! And finally, take some behind the scenes photos at the Florida compound. I love, love, love the behind the scenes photos. Fly safe and play hard, Drake!

Drake: I will certainly do that, Bard. It was a pleasure chatting with you and I look forward to doing it again soon!