Polls close on Sunday, so let’s take a closer look today at a couple of the BG East “Besties” nominations, namely Best Butt and Best Bulge. In the interest of full disclosure, I tend to be more of an ass man myself, but even I have been known to have my eyes pop out at the sight of several of these best bulge nominees in action. What constitutes a “best” bulge or butt, of course is deeply subjective. Size, proportion, shape, and of course wardrobe choices that accentuate it just right… so many components to factor and figure. Let’s take a look at the front end first.
You have to imagine Jobe Zander is aching for this award after being bridesmaid two times running. His major gimmick is his “Centerpiece” after all!Hard to argue that’s a far above average bulge. Is it the best of 2014?Pete Sharp burst onto the scene just a couple of years ago, and there’s nothing that fails to catch my eye about the blue eyed bombshell. But I regularly gasp in astonishment at the size and heft of the mountain stuffed in the front of his trunks.That requires its own zip code!Best Bulge winner for the past 2 years, Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) is back again to slap down his junk and defy you to tear your eyes away.That trouser snake stretches the seams of every lucky pair of trunks that struggle to contain it!Jonny Firestorm’s first 2015 release makes him an instant frontrunner for next year’s best bulge, but it was hard to find a pic from pre-2015 that does justice to just how huge the reigning Best Heel is. But trust me. He’s fucking huge.Jonny packs major league heat!Hard not to see why Ethan Axel Andrews gets a gasp and a nod in the slate this year. We’ve watched his body get harder and that massive bulge seem to grow bigger every year. Now that’s a workout routine I want to see!Seriously. Massive, meaty, and swings like a sledgehammer.Finally, Gabriel Ross is a major player in this category, but I’ve been asked to make my posts safer-for-work lately, meaning I can’t show you exactly why Gabriel is a major contender. Suffice it to say that he’s much more a grower than a show-er.When this monster gets stoked, seriously, step back. He could put an eye out with that cock. But does that qualify for “best bulge?”
Despite my long-standing knee-jerk adoration for Mr. Joshua’s gargantuan bulge, and defying the momentum he has the undefeated winner of this category for the 2 years the Besties have been around, I have to say it’s Pete Sharp’s behemoth that owns me. Like everything about him, that mass of man meat is aesthetically gorgeous, defiantly huge while somehow seeming perfectly proportioned to his superhuman physique. I suspect Mr. Joshua will once again have a major showing in this category, possibly taking the 3-peat, and legions of Jonny and Ethan fans will of course chime in to support their boys. I’d say Ethan is the dark horse contender here, potentially pulling in both loyal fans along with those who objectively, simply have fallen in lust with the firehose he sports.
Now let’s take a look at the back end of the chassis. I get hottest considering the Best Butt nominees.
Goldenboy Austin Cooper has made major progress in plot points this year, leveraging a thrilling heel turn into a mind-fuck split personality. It’s evil Dr. Cooper that I jones on hardest, but either incarnation, it’s hard to argue with the fact that luscious, round ass is gorgeous!Muscled, athletic and sweetly round and squeezable at the same time. That’s one hot contender!I thought there had to be a typo when I saw Kirk Donahue listed for Best Butt. I mean, the handsome newbie is cute as a button with an imminently fuckable body, but his ass just doesn’t jump out at me as cream of the crop. Some nominator clearly disagrees with me, though.I’d spank it, sure, but best butt?Reigning 2 time winner of Best Butt, Kid Karisma returns to flex those glutes in your face again. Rugby, wrestling, working out… there’s a formula for crafting perky, hard, insanely grabbable ass cheeks like this, and Kid K is working it to perfection.2014 was also the year we got our first glimpse of this award winning ass completely naked. I personally keep a shrine to this divine work of art in my home. Is this beauty a 3-peat?Cameron Matthews poses a challenge to evaluating his cred in this category, because he appeared in products in 2014 that have to span at least 5 years, ranging from his barely legal beauty incarnation (pictured here) to his more recent rock hard muscle stud appearance. His butt is epic regardless, but you can decide if you’re voting on his more squeezable young glutes or his muscle power-bottom.Round, graceful, spankable 5-ways to Sunday.Gabriel Ross is the only nominee to show up in bulge and butt categories. The Gabriel 2.0 physique that debuted a couple of years ago undeniably sports a hot, muscled, mouthful of gluteus muscles.Not the biggest or hardest, but for fan fantasy ass worship, this naughty fallen angel just may be the fan choice for best butt in 2014.
You know I’ve got my favorite pick of this bunch. I don’t call myself the self-appointed president of the Kid Karisma fan club for nothing. I Austin’s ass makes a compelling second place finisher, though Cameron’s butt and bevy of crazy ass fans could spell an upset to Kid K’s run for the 3-peat. Whoever wins, I’d just like to suggest that he celebrate by bending Kirk Donahue over his knee and pounding that kid’s boy-next-door-butt until he confesses who he fucked to get on this list.
So for those who want any pointers, the Bard-approved slate thus far looks like this:
Sidelineland 