Short Cuts

I won’t name names, because that ALWAYS gets me in more trouble than it’s worth. I’ll just say that the same disappointing thought has occurred to me more than once recently as I’ve been sampling homoerotic wrestling new releases.  This recurring thought is, Grabbing crotch does not make wrestling homoerotic.

100% homoerotic wrestling featuring (among many other elements) Mitch Colby grabbing Derek da Silva’s crotch in Crotch Crushers 1.

Do you know what I mean? I’ve seen an anecdotal rise in the number of wrestling products marketed to you and me in which the most homo and/or erotic content is almost entirely limited to a crotch grab. Now, I love a nice crotch grab. That goes for all sorts of contexts and purposes, actually.  The feel of a pulsing, raging cock in my hand is absolutely intoxicating! Two raging cocks in my hand, and I’m guaranteed to have a hangover the next morning. I do not have anything at all against the homoeroticism of taking another man’s cock firmly in hand, per se.

Jobe Zander looks like he’s searching for his keys at the bottom of his purse in Can-Am’s DeCrotchery 3

But my beef, so to speak, is the over reliance on this device to sell wrestling as gay. I realize that there’s a sub-fetish contingent out there with a particular kink for watching and/or experiencing cock abuse. While I don’t count myself in that particular tribe, I can appreciate and get turned on by some cock control as a tool of soul crushing erotic domination. But if that’s really the only element in a match that might distinguish it from a TBS prime time mainstream episode of plasticized canned wrestling drama, then it’s just got one toe on our side of the fence, as far as I’m concerned.

Gino Liotta and Joshua Goodman engage in mutual crotch crushing as just one element of steamy action in Crotch Crushers 2.

Running across a bevy of barely homoerotic wrestling trying to take a short cut with crotch shots as credentials for checking in with you and me as gay-oriented has started to grate on my nerves.  So sure, you squeezed his balls… if you’ve got a disinterested look on your face, it sort of douses the heat. You grabbed a handful of whatever is stuffed down the front of his trunks, okay. But, if neither your hand nor his suffering seem to sell me that you’re about to rip him apart out of a primal lust to own his muscled body, then the stagecraft wears thin.

Friend of neverland, Ben Monaco, convinces me long before he goes for Alex Arias’ crotch that he’s all-in for homoerotic wrestling in Mat Rookies 1!

All this begs the question, of course, what it is that distinguishes some wrestling as homoerotic and others as something else. Of course, mainstream wrestling can turn me on (when it isn’t pissing me off with over-the-top homophobia). Just about any wrestling itself speaks to me as homoerotic almost by definition.  But I propose that there’s an ontologically different beast that is homoerotic wrestling. I’ve danced around this topic many times in the past. It’s a know-when-I-see-it sort of concept, in large part. It also overlaps with the cliche of “chemistry” between wrestlers, which is nearly impossible to quantify but, nevertheless, is unmistakable when its absent. I don’t know that I can put a finger on the baseline requirements (for me), but what makes something distinctively homoerotic wrestling always hits me on many levels.

Muscleboy Tyler St. James checks for a hernia in Pro Sex Fight 8.

Of course, explicit sexuality never hurts to sell wrestling as homoerotic. A suck, a fuck, a kiss even (especially), and I’m a long way to being sold that this wrestling is all about me and my kink. Hell, just having the boys talk openly about the eroticism hanging in the air between them is plenty to suck me in, and when it’s done right, eroticized banter will rev me up a hundred times hotter than an going-through-the-motions post-match fuck.

Reese Wells works 5 different angles at once in dishing out dominating abuse over  Jobe Zander’s package in Ball Busters 1.

It doesn’t require explicitness, though. It can be the fixed gaze of one wrestler and the self-conscious glance at the ground by the other that piques my homoerotic wrestling gaydar. It can be the intimacy of the setting, the gear, the lighting even, that contribute to making me recognize that this is homoerotic wrestling.  It can, and often is, one wrestler so narcissistic that he convinces me that, if humanly possible, he’d fuck himself into a stupor if that annoying opponent of his would just get the fuck out of his face.

Michael Vineland works the joystick from behind in Pro Sex Fight 8.

The best in the business push the homoerotic button from the instant the camera brings them into focus. Homoerotic wrestlers of the month Cage Thunder and (spoiler alert… keep reading at your own risk… oh, wait, too late!) Lightning Rod aka KV are beautiful examples. A half a second after I see their eyes lock onto the body of their opponents like sizing up a juicy filet, I understand without a doubt that the combat that’s about to unfold is first and foremost sexual. They communicate a hunger to grab hold of and consume their opponent that’s instantly arousing. The crotch grab is perfectly homoerotic when they latch on and threaten to rip an opponent out by the roots, because of everything else they’ve done to make it clear that they get off on this!

In Ball Bash 2, Reese Wells gets harder the more vicious Jonny Firestorm attacks his crotch! Now that’s homoerotic and hot!

There are plenty of wrestling products that push me way over the edge without ever veering into crotch grabs, fucking, or nudity even. They’re often completely homoerotic in my eyes for a dozen other elements that signal to me that this isn’t wrestling for 8 year-old boys with g-rated comic book fantasies of heroes and villains.  And equally as true, a gratuitous ball claw or tug at a cock is seldom the end-game for landing a wrestling match firmly within the circle of what I consider gay-themed, for gay eyes, wrestling kink, or homoerotic.

Unmasked and unsheathed, Stinger swells with excitement as Homoerotic Wrestlers of the Month Cage Thunder and Lightning Rod batter his stinger mercilessly.

As the photos I’ve attached to this post illustrate, the crotch grab is a delightfully hot tool in the tool belt of the accomplished homoerotic wrestler.  When it’s dished out in measured quantity, it’s fantastic! When placed as an integral component of an onslaught of unmistakably homoerotic content, the crotch grab is often precisely the point at which I lose all self-restraint. However, and I’m not naming names, but I just need to say it: solely based on a wrestler grabbing his opponent’s crotch, it doesn’t make it homoerotic wrestling. A one-trick pony gimmick in an otherwise lukewarm bath of run of the mill wrestling does not a homoerotic wrestling match make.

Big Ben

It’s not like I’m subtle. I practically beg for interviews with homoerotic wrestling hunks! I’ve got favorite classics who I’ve long harbored a crazy longing to chat up, but I’m nothing short of tickled (in that hot, pinned down and tortured way) to have a sexy, fresh rookie agree to go on the record as well. When I discovered that BG East new hottie, Ben Monaco, reads the pages of this blog, it took me about a quarter of a second to get my interview request out. Big Ben amiably agreed, and he charmingly calls me “Mr. Bard” (which makes me think for just a moment that he’s talking to my dad), so I’ve quickly settled firmly down on the side of being a Ben Monaco fan! Getting a little back story does nothing but make me eager to see more of what this sexy, sweaty slammer has in store for his BG East career!
5’10”, 175 lbs., Ben Monaco

Bard: So Ben, I’m excited to learn that you’re a neverland reader! Welcome to neverland and to homoerotic wrestling.

Ben: Why thank you Mr. Bard, always liked your writing style and enjoy your analysis of the matches and wrestlers you write about.

Bard: Hey, thanks! I’m honored! So I have to start where you left off at the end of your debut match with BG East. That kiss planted on fellow rookie Alex Arias is dizzyingly hot! Alex seems to want to fight it off, but I swear we watch him melt underneath you as you hold the back of his head firmly in your hand and plant your mouth across his. Damn that’s a hot finish! What was going through your mind as you celebrated your first match victory so passionately?

Alex Arias melts from the press of Ben’s offense.

Ben: Of course, yes, lots of things were going through my mind at the time. This was my first match released on BG East’s website and also, chronologically speaking, the first match I filmed for them! Naturally, there was a bunch of nervousness at first, but in the end, I was focused on having a bit of fun with my little opponent…figured the BG East fans would like it…after they knew who I was of course.

Bard: You certainly made a big impression on me! What a way to introduce yourself to BG East fans, not to mention the disarming treat it clearly is for your opponent. What’s your wrestling background? Your first match appeared in a product called “Mat Rookies,” but already you seem awfully confident on the BG East mats.

Ben: My background is actually very, very limited! Unlike a lot of the roster there, I have no formal training in submission wrestling, pro or otherwise. I actually only began wrestling my very first matches back in August 2011! Of course, before that I was already an avid fan of BG East and gay-wrestling in general. So a lot of what I know to do I owe to the various guys who I’ve wrestled as well BG East’s talented coaches Jonny Firestorm, Kid Vicious and Kid Leopard of course.

Bard: So you were already a homoerotic wrestling fan before you wrestled for BG East?

Ben: Yes, I was a big fan of BG East and still am to this day. Wrestling has always been a big turn on for me so the homoeroticism comes quite naturally when you’ve got a hot opponent in front of you!

Bard: Where did BG East find you?

Ben: My “day job” makes me travel around a lot between four cities: Toronto, Ottawa, Quebec City and Montreal (my home). I ended up wrestling a guy in Toronto that I met on globalfight on one of my frequent layovers. We had tried on several occasions to meet, but there was always a scheduling thing that went wrong. After a good solid month of back-and-forth “I’m not available that day but are you free on that day?” messages, we finally met at the start of 2012. As we finished our first match he asked me if I knew about BG East. “Of course!” was my answer. He then told me that he personally knew the guys in charge (Vicious and Leopard) and thought that I should meet/talk with them about filming.

At first, I thought he must be joking! How could I, a new kid on the wrestling block, be considered BG East material? I had only been wrestling for 4 months or so! Nevertheless, I agreed to let him send some of our match pictures to the BG East bosses. Within a week I was chatting with Kid Leopard about potentially flying down to Florida to film, by the end of January it was all confirmed and by the second week of February I was down south shooting my first matches.

Bard: Sounds like a fantastic adventure! Being so new to the game, what is it that motivates you to step onto the mats in your underwear, cameras rolling, and work up a bucket of sexy sweat as you put your ass on the line?

All that sweat requires Ben to squeeze tighter!

Ben: Well first off, it isn’t always underwear [laughing]. There’s actually a lot of different gear BG East fans will get to see me in when my future matches are released. What motivates me? Have you seen the BG East roster lately? That’s all the motivation I need! I practically passed out when Kid Leopard told me who was going to be in Florida with me for the shoot! And as for the buckets of sweat, that just comes naturally. One of my well-known opponents even commented “Finally! Someone who sweats as much as I do!” It does make some holds a bit tricky to apply though…

Bard: Count me among the fans of dripping sweat on a wrestler! I also adore the sound of Alex whimpering as you control him in the long, agonizing series of scissors you squeeze him in. There’s an almost inaudible gasp and withering whine that you milk right out of him that I find astonishingly sexy. I also remember you telling Alex that you wanted to hear him scream, which you proceeded to make him do. What’s it like for you to play an opponent like that?

Ben: Oh well that’s just a lot of fun! When I beat a guy down, I love making him beg and plead for me to release the hold or end the match. I can be a pretty nasty little heel when I want. But don’t be fooled by my first match, I’ve gotten my ass handed to me many times in the past by bigger AND smaller opponents. Little guys, I’ve found out, can pack quite the punch too.

Bard: Before I saw Mat Rookies, I was first attracted to your hot, hairy pecs from your pictures on the BG East website. But after watching your match, I have to say it’s a toss up between your powerful legs and that lovely mouth of yours that are at the top of my list. When it comes to your body, what part is your pride and joy?

Pumped for action!

Ben: Honestly, that’s a tough one. I used to be fairly out of shape in my younger years. I’m 27 and have only been working out regularly since I was 22. Back then I was a shapeless mass of flabby flesh. Thanks to hard work and good personal trainers, I finally have a bit of a shape to show off in wrestling gear! My pecs actually, if I have to name one part, are probably what I’m most proud of since they’re a fairly recent addition to my frame. I used to have a flat chest until I discovered the magic of a decline bench press. Within a few weeks I was bouncing my pecs proudly! The next challenge training-wise is to get bigger arms! I love arms on a guy and am dying to get mine growing even more than they have!

Bard: You’re clearly a long way down the path to pounding out a powerful, very sexy body! Who else at BG East would you like to pin to the mat with your lips? From the current roster of wrestlers, who would you like to dominate next?

Ben: Hmmmm…that would be a long, long list! Can’t I just have them line up and just try each one until I’m satisfied?

Bard: Absolutely! That sounds like golden concept for a BG East series! I certainly understand where you’re coming from. But if you had to choose where to start…?

Ben: Well, if I have to pick some guys from the current roster that I would gladly pin down and dominate with my lips…Kieran Dunne, Braden Charron, Darius, Eddie Rey, Patrick Donovan all make the short list among many, many others…next question! I’m getting horny [laughing].

Kieran Dunne is first on Ben’s list to pin with a lip lock.

Bard: You and me both! If you had to lose, and with the caliber of wrestlers at BG East that seems like it’s always a possibility for even the most experienced veterans, who wouldn’t you mind losing to? From the current roster or the from the classics, who would you pick to be the one to dominate you and what would they do with you once they’d beaten you?

Brad Rochelle can turn Ben into his
“little wrestling slave”

Ben: Given my limited experience, I’m sure a lot of the BG Boys will be having their way with me in future matches! But if I had to pick just one from current or classics, hands down it has to be the ever-gorgeous Brad Rochelle. That guy can dominate me any time any place! He can turn me into his little wrestling slave if he wants! I don’t care! Brad Rochelle….yummy.

Bard: Brad Rochelle is the right answer to just about any question, I think! Yummy, indeed! So, back to sexy little Alex Arias. He looked seriously pissed to be dominated by you, but once you locked your lips on him there at the end of taping, he seemed to finally, reluctantly, despite himself concede that he was yours. Were there any hard feelings off camera afterward? Anything else “hard” off camera that you’d be willing to talk about?

Ben: Nah! No hard feelings between us! Alex is a great guy as are all the BG Boys that I met down in Florida. There are no hard feelings after the matches because we know that we’re all part of the same little family and we’re doing these matches because we LOVE wrestling! As for other…hard things off camera. Well, we’ll leave that to the imagination of the viewers.

After some sweaty pain and suffering, there are no hard feelings.

Bard: My imagination is definitely up to that challenge! The boys at BG East seem to really pride themselves on recruiting the best and treating their wrestlers well. Would you recommend other aspiring wrestlers check them out?

Ben: Absolutely! After having fought for them in February I’ve come to one conclusion: when BG East calls you down for a match, you go. Period. Forget whatever hang-ups you have, you only live once! They are amazing, friendly, kind generous guys who go out of their way to make you feel at ease and welcome among their ranks. On top of that, you get to meet and fight with all kinds of hot guys you only ever dreamed of meeting!

Soaked in sweat, Ben looks stunning reveling in victory!

Bard: Well, you’re now officially in that cadre of hunks appearing in the personal fantasies of many a homoerotic wrestling fan! Your work on the mat against Alex Arias and your obvious enthusiasm for homoerotic wrestling are truly a delight! Anything else you’d like to say to neverland readers who were impressed with your Mat Rookies introduction to BG East fans?

Ben: Stay tuned for some more matches and feel free to let me know what you’d like to see in the future! I’m always happy to hear what fans have to say! Look me up on GF or GnG under the profile Namarian!

Still-Frame Fantasies

I’ve got deadlines piling up and work crushing me from all angles, but BG East’s weekend release of catalog 92 was awfully distracting for me. I cannot wait to get my hands on at least a few of these matches. Always a fan of hot new finds, my blood is pumping that much faster for an astonishingly hearty spring harvest of new-to-me wrestler newbies.  I often find that the wrestlers who turn me on hardest in still-frame and the wrestlers who turn me on the hardest in action are only occasionally, not always, the same. So, just judging in still-frame, these rookie delights are making me ache to discover if they’re as hot in motion!

BG East’s Diego Diaz
Just for fun, let me put these gorgeous new “faces” in order of who’s making my mouth water the most in still-frame. Starting off, there’s BG East’s Diego Diaz, who looks like he delivers some mind-boggling muscle bashing on goldenboy patriot, Austin Cooper in Florida Fights 4. Diego’s listed as 6’3″ and 184 pounds and the match description is summing up exactly what I’m seeing. “Diego is a discovery – long, lean, sexy as fuck…” The description seems to suggest that Diego may have been lured into the BG East universe specifically for the purpose of beating the shit out of Austin. I’m hoping  fiercely 2 things: 1) he wrestles as beautifully as the photos and match description imply, and 2) he’s settling in for a long, productive future of muscle bashing at BG East!

BG East’s Damien Rush
It’s an incredibly close call, but Diego just barely beats out lovely new BG East coverboy, Damien Rush, as my #1 still frame crush among the rookies recently taking center stage. Wow, wow, wow! Holy hell, Damien’s sexy, hairy body belongs hanging by his ankles from a stripper pole if ever a body did! 5’11 (or 6′?) and 180 pounds, the tale of the tape seems to put him squarely in the relatively average proportions of moderately fit athletes, but good god, this luscious piece of meat looks way, way above and beyond average! Again, the match description for Strip Stakes 3 (score!) is tantalizing, reporting that Damien is “born to privilege and accustomed to getting his way.” The sexy-as-hell raw fuckability of this silver spoon fed lovely, paired with the photo evidence that he gets stripped naked and keeps on wrestling in his match with heel-rising muscle beast, Morgan Cruise, is sending fireworks exploding in my head. All that promise… I’m breathless in anticipation!
BG East’s Ben Monaco

Mat Rookies’ 1 Ben Monaco is my 3rd place still-frame crush among this current batch of rookies. Hairy pecs, sweaty mat action, and a lip-lock rookie narrative are all major assets to make me crave in-motion evidence that this still-frame hunk is as hot as I think he is. 5’10” tall, 175 pounds, the phrase “one of the meatiest kisses in the history of underground wrestling,” lights a fuse under the powder keg that is my homoerotic wrestling imagination.

Thunder’s Arena’s Kasper

I’m mixing up the roster a bit to insert side of beef Kasper, a new face for Thunder’s Arena. I put Kasper as my 4th most anticipated live-action view after seeing the still-frame previews for his mutual mattress pounding with Thunder’s veteran Batar in No Holds Barred 20.  He’s described as 5’9″ and 185 pounds, and, at least in still-frame, he’s giving me a strong hit of a majorly beefed up, brunette version of Steven Sandvoss. The match description says that Kasper is one of Batar’s “buddies” who likes to give the veteran a hard time for his relatively soft body. If the rookie uses all those bulging muscles to seriously punish his “buddy,” I’ll be a Kaspar fan!

BG East’s Alex Arias

#5 on my list is, possibly, the handsomest face in this crowd. Aforementioned Ben Monaco meets up with Alex Arias in Mat Rookies 1 and, understandably, can’t seem to resist planting his lips across Alex’s gorgeous mouth. Described as 5’8″ and 145 pounds, Alex is one of those finds that might easily be at the top of my live-action favorite lists, but his body, in still-frame at least, isn’t quite as titillating as the impressive hunks ahead of him on this list. That face, though, and in particular those eyes are nothing short of riveting! The combo of these two inspiring hunks makes Mat Rookie’s 1 a product I’m seriously interested in seeing.

BG East’s Ned Nader

And still one more reason to own Mat Rookies 1: new, lean, muscle machine, Ned Nader. While it’s true I’m putting Ned at the bottom of this list, it’s equally true that I’m jonesin’ to see this if this ripped stud is as sexy as he looks in still-frame. It seems like a hard bit of luck to show up for your first BG East mat match and find yourself facing off against pro sensation and one of (or just “the”?) most prolific pro wrestlers across just about every under- and above-ground company in wrestling, Cameron Mathews. Then again, the opportunity to wrestle with Cameron’s phenomenal ass (okay, sure the rest of him as well) may be quite the prize for a ripped little muscle athlete like young Ned. Ned looks like he could be a punk, which may account for my relatively low ranking for him. “Punk” is not often an adjective that is at the top of my list of erotic turn ons. But I’m eager to see what this newbie can do to Cam, and even more importantly, to me.

I just can’t say often enough how much I enjoy high quality and successful recruiting in the business of homoerotic wrestling. The potential that each of these inspiring rookies has in the business and in the end product of cranking my homoerotic wrestling kink, is testimony not only to their raw (and sometimes not so raw) talents, but also to the hard work of the boys behind the cameras keeping this universe populated with not just the go-to boys we’ve come to know and lust after, but with fresh faces and new fantasies that they inspire. Nice work!