Summertime and the Livin’ Is Easy

Like fresh picked berries and crotch watching at the beach, BG East’s Summer Sizzler’s releases have become a seasonal treat for me.  I’m a little dizzy from the initial overdose I just subjected myself to, scoping out the preview pics that are part of catalog 99.1, just released.

Boyfriend jobbers Skip and Christian make me think it’s not all bad getting crushed by Morgan Cruise.

Making my eyes water the hardest are the initial shots of Tag Team Torture 16: Boyfriend Beatdown, featuring the combo I’ve been bitching and moaning in anticipation of for years.  Skip Vance and his  real life boyfriend (and former HWOTM) Christian Taylor climb into the ring together for a 2-on-1 battle against heel-risen Morgan Cruise.  Holy shit, this looks insanely hot.  This looks like it’s heading in all the right directions, and I’m a little breathless in anticipation.

Chace LaChance and Braden Charron are RIPPED! 

Speaking of breathless, shocking me just a little are the preview pics of the “Bonus Match” (for ordering all of the Summer Sizzlers) featuring Braden Charron and Chace LaChance both appearing to have physically peaked for the season at precisely the same moment that they climbed into the ring together.  I may have seen Braden this ripped… possibly, but holy hell, I have never seen Chace as put together as this. Fuck. Me. Please.

Who’s Got Whom? Eli Black or Cameron Matthews? 

Mat Hunks 9 is a stand-alone compilation that delivers a pretty perfect 8-pack selection of thirst-quenching hunks such as I’m not sure I’ve seen all on one DVD before.  3-time HWOTM Eli Black looks like he’s got his hands full with former HWOTM Cameron Matthews.  This is a fascinating pairing, I think, and Cameron’s showmanship combined with Eli’s intensity seems like a formula for either disaster or perfection.  I’m voting for perfection.

Rafe Sanchez takes the ride of MY life!

And speaking of perfection, former HWOTM and former and long-running overall favorite homoerotic wrestler of mine, Mitch Colby, snaps those tanned, rock hard thighs around the smooth, sexy head of long, long running infatuation of mine (though never a HWOTM), Rafe Sanchez (mmmmmmmm… Rafe).  These two have appeared in some of the over the top sexiest wrestling I’ve ever enjoyed, so combined, I’m feeling dehydrated just thinking about it.  And I’m not even going to mention the perfection of asses featured in the other two matches on Mat Hunks 9… yet.

Hot, hard muscles turned to jelly.
I will mention that my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy) Lon Dumont is also out in a new product, Knock Outs 2 , appearing back in the day when his head was smoother than Rafe Sanchez’.  The match promises both Lon and his opponent, veteran pro Paul Hudson, get sleepered repeatedly, and the image of lovely, powerful Lon so vulnerable, out cold, is giving me hot flashes!
Mr. Joshua had better watch his back (I’ll keep an eye on his front for him)

Finally, Ring Hunks 1 (how is this only the first of that title!?) throws former overall favorite homoerotic wrestler Mr. Joshua’s massive package headlong into the dangerous machinations of former HWOTM and recent interviewee here, Aryx Quinn.  If anyone can unleash the beast, surely it’s diabolical Aryx!   Right?!  Please!?

Another who’s got whom from Summer Sizzlers: Wrestle Shack 17… my money is on Dylon Robert’s thighs.

So these releases technically fall in the month of May, but there’s no way I can assess them in time for tomorrow’s crowning of a new HWOTM, so they’re officially delayed to join the June releases.  In the mean time, pass me a protein drink.  I’m going in….

On the Fourth Day of Christmas, Santa Brought to Me…

One of the sexiest fantasies come true for me in 2012 was the revelation that two of BG East’s wrestlers were, in real life, long-time lovers and partners.  Skip Vance and Christian Taylor won the reader’s poll as Mr. and Mr. Valentine’s Day Wrestling Couple of 2012 and really, was there any competition?  When I had the opportunity to interview Skip, he filled in additional dizzyingly hot details, including the fact that it was Christian who introduced Skip to homoerotic wrestling after they’d been dating a while.  The end of 2012 has been a rough one on these reigning royal couple of homoerotic wrestling, however, with a nasty flare up of Skip’s Crohn’s disease putting the champion jobber in the hospital for a serious surgery.  Today’s a banner day, however, both here at neverland and in the Taylor/Vance household.  It’s a banner today here at neverland because that horny toad bear daddy Santa came through with another wish on my Christmas list: some sweet pics from the lives of the hottest wrestling couple reigning.  It’s a good day in the Taylor/Vance household because Skip got to finally head home from his extended stay in the hospital, to be nursed back to health by what has to be just about the sexiest, tall drink of water to nurse a homoerotic wrestling lover back to health ever!
“On the fourth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me…”
So it seems like there are a lot of Christmas wishes getting fulfilled today.  Fans of the reigning royal couple of homoerotic wrestling who want to help retire Skip and Christian’s medical debt can make even more wishes come true by donating here.  And I’m incredibly happy for both Skip and Christian today, but I have to admit that I’m also very selfishly self-satisfied that on the fourth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me a few sweet glimpses into the off-the-mats world of the sexiest couple in homoerotic wrestling, Skip Vance and Christian Taylor.
You can fulfill your own Christmas wish by pre-booking with either or both of these boys for a wrestling match later in 2013!
Skip reports that he’d  much, much rather be getting tortured mercilessly by Jonny Firestorm than coping with the pain of another Crohn’s flare up.
Adorable Skip is ready to get back into his peak physical conditioning in order to return to the mats soon.
What a Christmas treat!  The reigning sexiest homoerotic wrestling couple ready to face down any challenge and all comers!  Santa, you rock, and Skip and Christian, I cannot wait to see the two of you work up a sweaty lather on the mats again in 2013!

The Good Fight

I’m just coming out of a nearly comatose state after a raging cold made my sinuses feel like they were about to explode inside of my head.  Right around now is the time that I would, in my fashion, likely subtly appeal for sympathy, perhaps pander a bit for encouragement, possibly even manage to go fishing for compliments somehow.  However, catching up on the news I missed while my head has been threatening to explode, I realize that such a pity party would be a little ridiculous.  Sure, there’s the horrific crime of an under-treated, under-diagnosed lunatic with not only access to but training and encouragement in the use of assault weapons, but frankly that’s not what I’m talking about.  Let’s thank Reagan for deinstitutionalization of mental health care and “W” for happily watching assault rifles become legal again for that news.  Chickens home to roost, as far as I’m concerned.

Skip Vance stays healthy every way he can.

What stopped me in my accustomed pity party is following up on Skip Vance’s FB feed.  Skip, friend of this blog and all around stunningly hot jobberboy, mentioned in his interview here earlier this year that he has Crohn’s disease.  Turns out he’s had a new flare up in the past week or so that’s sent him to the hospital, in a lot of pain, and facing significant surgeries and major pharmaceutical bills (oh, yeah, thanks for that, too, Republicans).

Word has gone out elsewhere and a crowd sourcing effort has managed to help Skip raise some much needed funding for his mounting healthcare costs.  However, the hits keep coming, and in addition to still looking at a huge bill for necessary medications, he’s got mounting hospitalization costs accruing the longer he’s holed up getting poked and prodded and punished, and NOT in the good way.

So now that I think about it, if you’ve got pity to spare, send it my way.  I can always soak up that crap.  But if you actually want to make a difference for one of our own who’s in need of some assistance right about now, send your financial support here and keep track of Skip’s journey to hell and back here.  And just as a testament to this kid’s ferocity, he’s already taking tentative pre-bookings for wrestling gigs in the coming months, once he’s kicked this latest episode in the ass.

Lot’s of love, Skip & Christian.  We’re looking forward to having you back on your feet and taking another beating like absolutely nobody else can.

Let’s get these two back to business!

"Kids these days…"

I’m enjoying a rare opporuntity I have to thumb through my archives and pull out some homoerotic wrestling gems that I didn’t have time to fully appreciate when I got my hands on them in busier days.  Take, for example, BG East’s Matmen 23, featuring two friends of this blog, Kid Karisma and Skip Vance, making sweet, sweet music in a certain Florida sunroom.

Kid Karisma can’t wait to get his hands on Skip’s “cute” hair.

“Um, elementary school is the other block,” Kid Karisma smirks when achingly adorable Skip Vance struts onto the mat with an eager grin stretched ear-to-ear.  Despite Skip giving up 35 pounds to his muscle bulging opponent, it’s not hard to understand that big smile.  I know of dozens of fans who would stand in line all night for some alone time with Kid K’s muscles.  Sure, you have to assume Skip knows he’s going to get bashed.  In addition to being one of the best jobbers on the planet (I’m buying anything and everything this boy sells!), he also clearly gets major kicks out of taking a beating.  All arrows are aligned in one direction that entirely explains Skip’s shit-eating grin: Kid K’s stunning body, soul-crushing ego, and erotically charged wrestling style are perfectly tuned to Skip’s fondest fantasies.

Kid K puts Skip in one compromising position after another

“You think I’m scared of you, big boy!?” Skip laughs.  “Do I look scared!?”  No, Skip does not look scared.  Skip’s charm is exactly that.  Look vulnerable?  Absolutely.  Mouthwatering?  Definitely.  Scared? Not for an instant.  When Kid K refuses to take him seriously, Skip dials up the heat another notch.  “Are you ready to get your ass beaten?”

Skip’s got Kid K right where he wants him!

Yep, I’m with Skip.  It’s hard to consider a Kid Karisma match for more than about 5 seconds before remarking on his ass.  It is AMAZING.  It’s almost certainly the glimpse of that thong underneath his trunks, visible where his ass crack cannot be covered by the outmatched black fabric, that makes Skip blurt out in the middle of his beating, “Fuck you, dude! If you wasn’t so sexy…” What, Skip?  You’d enjoy the complete demolition you’re suffering a shade less?  But more pertinently, I find it highly erotic and refreshing for wrestlers to acknowledge the cold/hot, hard facts, like saying out loud the most obvious-yet-unspoken fact that Kid Karisma is wildly sexy!

“Scream LOUDER, boy!”

For all his ego crushing taunting, Kid K points out his own highly erotic facts, as well, referring to achingly adorable, innocent-looking Skip as incredibly “cute.”  Of course, Kid K says the word “cute” with a lip-curling sneer and seems to feed off of his contempt for adorability to fuel an incredibly hot session of complete, humiliating domination.  “Scream louder!” he demands at one point, with his rugby thighs squeezing tightly around Skip’s narrow waist.  “Scream LOUDER, boy!!!” he roars, bearing down harder with his scissors and crushing out Skip’s wailing obedience.

“Can you see these abs, or is my cock in the way?”

Skip spends a whole lot of time flat on his back in repeated Kid Karisma schoolboy pins.  In the 3rd (or 20th) time, Kid K flexes his gorgeous guns and then runs his fingers down his washboard.  “Can you see these abs, or is my cock in the way!?,” he asks before crawling his hands forward across the mat and grinding his crotch into Skip’s trapped face.  Feel sorry for Skip?  Don’t.  Most moments like this, even when he’s clearly choking on the pain, that shit-eating grin is still plastered across the lucky kid’s face.  “Kid’s these days,” Kid K marvels at Skip’s obvious relish for soaking up punishment.

Skip momentarily obeys

It’s not a 100% Kid Karisma offensive match.  After Skip obeys his opponent’s command to peel off Kid K’s black trunks to reveal the “surprise” underneath (packaged in a leopard print thong), Skip reaches up and claws the karismatic one’s pouch viciously, bringing the bully to his knees in agony.  Skip still has enough in his tanks to put the pedal to the metal and make the most of Kid K’s breathlessness.  He folds him up in a gorgeous ass-to-ceiling small package, pinning Kid K’s ankles to the mat above his head.  “Is that all you got now!?” Skip demands, delighting in spanking that glorious ass.  “You smell that, fucker!?” he snarls, grinding his crotch in Kid K’s face in retribution for the karismatic indignities suffered earlier.

“I said LOOK!”

This match opens up a fascinating side to Kid Karisma that I haven’t noticed before.  It was probably there all along, but it didn’t grab me before this match.  Kid K wants, nay, needs to have a witness to his stunning beauty and power.  “Look at this,” he demands in yet another schoolboy pin, flexing his powerful biceps.  Skip doesn’t respond quickly enough, so Kid K grabs his head and yanks it off the mat to give him a closer look.  “I said, LOOK!” he barks.

Skip can’t take his eyes off of Kid Karisma’s “best” side

“I’m looking! I see it! I like it!” Skip sputters back obediently.  Later, Kid K spreads his awesome lats and turns his, arguably, best side toward his opponent as Skip struggles to peel himself off the mat after giving away yet another submission.  “Do you see that?” Kid K asks, looking over his shoulder.  Skip is just trying to shake the cobwebs from his rattled brain.  “I asked if you were LOOKING AT ME!” Kid K threatens.  “I see it!  I see it!” Skip pleads.

“Do you like that? To feel those arms around you?”

An exquisite rear bearhug shows off both Kid K’s power and Skip’s vulnerability and sell.  Kid K lifts him entirely off his feet and marches him around the mat for days, crushing him and owning him completely. “Do you like that!? To feel those arms around you?” Kid K wants to know.

My personal favorite Kid K maneuver

A late inverted bearhug from the karismatic one leaves him open for a suspended headscissors from Skip’s always dangerous legs, combined with another vicious ball claw that drops Kid K to his knees again.  But Skip is far too wasted by this point to do anything at all with the momentary advantage.  Kid K is back on his feet and locking down another in a series of standing scissors (my personal favorite Kid K torture device!) to make Skip howl in agony while leaving Kid K’s arms free to flex and admire himself in the mirror.

The perfect pin

A figure-4 choke caps off 8 unanswered submissions that Kid K racks up, but really, the last 10 minutes or so are pretty much one long series of Skip slamming face-first into that wall.  Kid K drags the lucky, lucky jobber across the mat, smothers him with his crotch, and slaps down a 10 count final fall victory.  He admires his handiwork by flexing for the mirror with his boot grinding into Skip’s crotch, but Skip’s too far out of it to even flinch.  The karismatic victor claims Skip’s lost trunks as a trophy, but then reconsiders.  On one knee, he leans in and plants his mouth across the slack lips of his beaten opponent.  Slowly (it’s almost a half a minute of face sucking), Skip rouses in what has got to be the absolute best way to wake up in the history of waking up.  Hell, if you’re going to take his trunks, why not just toss the adorably ripped jobber over your shoulder and take him as the sweetest trophy of all?

Best way to wake up ever invented!

Wow, wow, wow.  There’s much, much more to enjoy in this match than even this major league spoiler details.  Sign me up for the petition to see a follow-up three-way (let’s be honest, 2-on-1) between Kid Karisma, Skip Vance, and Skip’s lover, Christian Taylor.  And in the mean time, beautiful work boys, and no wonder Kid K remains at the very top of my list of favorite homoerotic wrestlers!

Talk about a trophy!

Winning the Hard Way

Jake Jenkins is stunning to watch use those muscles to choke out Eli Black

Sometimes I think of myself as a homoerotic wrestling kink therapist.  I often hear from wrestling fans who have questions and problems they want solved with regard to homoerotic wrestling.  “Tell BG East to…” or “Why does Rock Hard Wrestling always…?” And not uncommonly, I get messages from readers who tell me that they “just need to vent.”  For example, a reader and homoerotic wrestling fan recently “vented” to me in an email regarding a recurring frustration.  Like me, he’s a major Jake Jenkins fan. And like me, he enjoys watching Jake kick ass.  So when he sees a lot of JJ’s new releases in which the stud puppy clearly gets squashed, he’s irritated.  This reader knows my recurring answer to these types of questions: tastes vary.  Some of us likely get more kink for the buck to see a hot muscle kid like JJ dominated, while others of us get a harder push over the edge by watching handsome Jake on the conquering in of the equation.  But this reader still questions what makes those on “the other side” tick, and what makes them want to see more and more of JJ getting owned.

Jake goes down in a puddle of sweat beneath a victorious Kid Karisma

This exchange brought to mind a similar brief correspondence I had with a reader several months ago, who asked me to exercise influence over Steel Muscle God to convince him to tape some wrestling action in which the godly one gets dominated.  This is hardly the first time someone has vastly overestimated my influence. And it’s actually not the first time I’ve heard this particular plea.  Personally, I LOVE watching SMG totally use an opponent, particularly one of those hot muscleboys he’s pummeled lately.  There’s an absolutely intoxicating scene in SMG’s recent release of a ring “bout” in which he repeatedly sleepers a hot, hard hunk.  He puts the fiesty stud out flat on this stomach, and I’m 110% on board with the sell that this is an actual choke out.  The hunk goes limp like a noodle.  And when SMG shakes and shoves him and rolls him over, the hottie looks absolutely out cold.  SMG prods and pokes the unresisting hunk, standing over top of him and flexing his guns, leering down into his slack face, until finally after a half a minute or so, the vulnerable hunk of meat comes to.  Fuck me there something so erotic about that little exchange!

Steel Muscle God wreaks divine justice all over another hot muscle buddy

But ripping myself back to my topic for today.  Some readers have repeatedly complained that SMG “always wins.”  Why doesn’t he star in a muscleboy-in-trouble-scenario for those desperately waiting for him to stroke that g-spot where many fans get topped off by the powerful muscle stud shocked, laid out and humiliated?  For the record, SMG has said that he does have a wrestling match in which he “loses,” but I haven’t actually seen it (I think you have to buy it separately from the membership site, and I’m too frugal).  But the issue seems to be repeated from many of my kink therapy clients: “my getting off on a homoerotic wrestling match requires that my primary object of lust win (or lose).”

Brad Rochelle wrote the book in making a muscleboy loser epically homoerotic.

And both of these conversations call to mind still another set of exchanges I’ve had with a long-time commentator and avid student of homoerotic wrestling who more than once has chided me that I’m too focused on who wins and who loses.  What tweaks the subconscious wrestling kink, he argues, is almost entirely unrelated to specifically whose shoulders are pinned to the mat or which hunk sobs, “I give!”  The passion play that homoerotic wrestling presents us is about themes broader than the specific “winner” or “loser,” like broken egos, revenge on bullies, the battle of might versus right, or our personal secret longings to be dominated or to dominate.  And, this commentator has also argued, it’s about much more specific elements than the literal “win” as well, such as the particular sell of suffering, how persuasively we’re sucked into longing to see someone punished, the precise angle at which a wrestler’s lower back is pried backward in a Boston crab that convinces us he’s hurting while simultaneously displaying is gorgeous body and bulging package so tantalizingly.  There’s definitely the school of thought that literal “winning” and “losing” is almost entirely beside the point.

Brad Rochelle also looks GORGEOUS milking victory out of Patrick Donovan’s withering body!

I’ve pushed back against that hard line.  I think the drama of coming out on top is very central to what strokes my homoerotic wrestling kink.  The notion of two powerful men, both fully expecting to be top-stud as they climb into the ring is precisely the tension that thrills me.  One of them will end up defeated, knocked down a peg, put in his place, while the other will stride out of the ring victorious, top dog, in control.  Turn this into a non-competitive, everybody wins, nobody loses, passionless dance of pretty bodies, and I might as well be watching a yoga class, which even when the bodies are smoking hot, it’ll never do for me what a hot wrestling match does.

Pectacular Patrick Donovan also looks dizzyingly hot slapping down a humiliating victory all over Z-Man’s  beautifully vulnerable muscle-bod.

And then there’s one last mental association I’m having with all of this talk of winners and losers. At the BGE Headquarters discussion group, someone who has frequently commented on this blog wrote a seemingly straightforward opinion, suggesting that he’d prefer the initial photo galleries in the membership site of BGE not “give away” which wrestler wins and which one loses.  He suggested that he’d prefer to maintain the suspense, particularly for those matches that he’s planning on purchasing.  Give him enough time to get the new release shipped to him before revealing who ends up top dog.

Z-Man can also delight in victory as he rips apart loser muscle boy Brody Hancock

Personally, I think this sounds entirely reasonable and well-reasoned.  However, another commentator left a bizarrely mismatched diatribe mocking anyone who could “believe these matches aren’t fake.” This commentator prejudices his own oddly aggressive response by tying them to appalling politics, but my point is actually not his apparent political self-hatred.  My point is really that he misses the point entirely.  The point is not how choreographed wrestling-for-pay may be in any given example.  The question of wanting to milk the suspense of not knowing who wins is wholly unrelated to whether the wrestlers or promoters are staging the matches as melodramas rather than as Olympic sport.  It seems to me that the investment many of us have in winners or losers in homoerotic wrestling is entirely about how wrestling speaks directly to our erotic fantasies, not some “objective” evaluation of who, in a fair fight, would kick whose ass.

Babyface Brody Hancock also make victory look so, so sexual when he puts magically nippled muscle hunk Cody Nelson on his back for good.

Suspense, anticipation, the establishment of tension in the plot, the development of compelling characters who establish motivation and commit to their particular roles… these are essential elements of satisfying homoerotic wrestling as far as I’m concerned.  However much a pretense it appears in any given match, the context of combat is a core component of what turns me on and tops me off as a homoerotic wrestling fan.  It isn’t so much who would win in an actual barroom brawl (not at all, really), but who tells a provocative story about passion and heat, power and strength, skill and strategy, muscle and beauty, and, without a doubt, winning and losing.

Sweat soaked and savoring victory, Cody Nelson titillates musclebully fans when he crushes handsome, lanky, lovely Christian Taylor aka Chris Cox.

So why do some JJ fans never seem to get tired of seeing him humiliated and defeated?  Why are others desperate to watch him use those gorgeous muscles of his to pick apart and make another hunk his bitch?  How are some fans filled up on a steady diet of SteelMuscleGod owning one opponent after another, while others are insanely aching to see SMG crushed and dominated?  I think this state of affairs is simply the landscape in which we live as homoerotic wrestling fans.  Our fantasies vary, even as we share a common passion for the eroticism of wrestling drama. It seems clear to me that winning and losing is far from beside the point, and who wins and who loses is directly and intimately tied to what strokes many of us hardest.  It’s not that we’re naively buying into the competitive pretense of wrestling-for-pay. I for one love watching Olympic wrestling, but the hottest amateur match is only a fraction as sexy as even the average homoerotic wrestling product as far as I’m concerned.  Explicitly homoerotic wrestling is much bigger than the raw rules and tests of strength and skill of amateurs, and more importantly, the point is entirely different.  The point of amateur wrestling is entirely winning and losing.  But the point of homoerotic wrestling is to get you and me off, and while it’s not the whole story, the drama of winning and losing is one of the elements that makes wrestling the kink that defines me (and many of you!).

For my tastes, Christian never looked hotter than when he brutalized his lover and rumored-to-be tag team partner Skip Vance, tying together homo, erotic, and wrestling in as beautiful a bow as any victory ever has!

Goofy = Sexy

Ben Monaco (l) demonstrates how a weekend at BGE can turn sexy-silly!

Kid Karisma’s behind-the-scenes photos of  last weekend’s BG East wrestlefest have garnered a lot of attention, including attention from a few of the other hot hunks on hand.  For example, Ben Monaco contacted me a couple of days ago to clarify that he’s not the only sexy battleboy to get a little silly (as was documented by Kid K’s pic of Ben with Gabriel and the karismatic one).

Nothing could make Kid Karisma look anything but sexy as hell!

Turns out Ben has some photographic evidence to illustrate his point. For example, while Kid K seems to almost always be flashing his Blue Steel in his photos, Ben captured my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler hamming it up.  Not his most flattering photo, and yet still somehow the karismatic one remains sexy as hell!

“Jonny, say ‘CHEEEESE!'”
Skip and his “Boston Boyfriend Jonny Firestorm look a little surprised to be captured in Ben’s lens.  Jonny’s awkward “say cheese” smile in particular looks goofy.  However 
Work it!  Work it!
Skip manages the unlikely feat of looking Bieberesque while flashing his Blue Steel!  Now that’s a talented professional!
DUDE! lrenzo lowe sittin nxt 2 me NOT WEARING ANY PANTS!!! 
Lorenzo Lowe makes goofy look so, so sexy! This boy seriously needs to show up in the ring wearing those eyeglasses!  It could totally be his thing… mild-mannered nerdilicious boy with a bubble butt turns into smoldering hot, dangerous homoerotic warrior the moment he whips off the spectacles.  Sort of a Clark Kent turns raging homoerotic wrestler angle.  It’s golden, I tell you!  And who’s the newbie sitting next to him, almost certainly texting his friends back home: DUDES! Lrenzo Lowe sittin nxt 2 me NOT WEARING ANY PANTS!!!?  I have it on good authority that this, my friends, is the already famous rookie (in my mind, at least) of the notoriously magical nipples!  Not a lot to go on in this shot, but I’m ready to say he looks cute as a button, and if those nips are half as hot as I’ve heard, I can’t wait to see that babyface screwed up in agony in a relentless two-handed nip twister!
Holy shit, some muscle hunk is wearing Gabriel Ross’ face!
Someone else will have to tell me if Gabriel Ross is making a funny face in this shot, because I’ve been staring at this pic for hours without finding the will power to tear my eyes away from his stunningly beefy bod!  Holy shit, I thought his pecs were incredible in Kid K’s snap. Get a load of that ASS and those gorgeously muscled legs!!! I have no idea who got the honors for taking on this readers’ choice sexiest Brit, but what an assignment!  Gabriel was already a master at putting the “erotic” in homoerotic wrestling.  Now that babyboy is all grown up and packing serious beef, my head is going to explode waiting to see all that muscle put to good use (well, something’s definitely about to explode!).
Damien Rush taunts the 99%
Ben’s final photo evidence that sexy and goofy go hand in hand is this knee-buckling shot of daddy’s little trust fund baby, Damien Rush, with his tongue hanging out.  Damn damn damn damn damn!  His private sessions with some trainer-to-the-rich-and-famous have been PAYING OFF!  The boy has grown wings, and I’m taking that pose as his personal challenge to me to feel what those arms can do wrapped around me in a bear hug.  I’ve been trying to land an interview with Mr. Rush’s sexy boy for months now, but “his people” haven’t made it happen yet.  The outline of that sweet meat hanging between his legs is doing nothing be renewing my determination to get this diamond stud on the record.  I swear, Damien, I won’t even ask for your tax returns!
Ben works all the right angles!
So Ben Monaco is the rookie stud of the hour for feeling the need to share a few more moments from a weekend of homoerotic wrestling with the hunks of BG East.  Ben also clarified that in addition to the hot rookie with the magical nipples, there was yet another jaw-dropping, tattooed muscle hunk rookie on hand that had many of the boys feeling faint.  That I need to see!  If ANY of the other boys present should feel like they need to defend their dignity by sharing their thoughts or pics from Pembroke, you know where to find me!

Red Baron: Come Sit Next to Me!

Kid Karisma is back at it, passing along more dirt on his blog about last weekend gathered from another wrestler there, his friend Alan, aka Red Baron.  In our interview last winter, Kid K explained that it was Alan who first set him up to wrestle for BG East.  For that reason alone, I consider Alan a patron saint in neverland.  But apparently Alan is also carrying around potentially incriminating photographic evidence of just how far Kid K will go for a good time.  The karismatic one and his “Daddy Alan” clearly enjoy talking shit, and I for one enjoy listening to it!  Here and now let me just make myself crystal clear: neverland readers are absolutely aching to see some candid shots of Kid K compromised by too much partying!  Alan, if you’re listening, let’s talk!!!

Kid Karisma, Blaine Janus, Lorenzo Lowe and Skip Vance

It also appears that Alan also took some shots over the weekend at BG East, and Kid K has been kind enough to post them.  As is my way, I’m instantly obsessing over every detail.  For example Lorenzo with a mouth full of watermelon… damn this boy is looking sexier to me by the minute!

Skip Vance and his “Boston boyfriend,” Jonny Firestorm

I’m also noticing that Skip and his Boston boyfriend both shop at Hollister.  Unless they’re sharing clothes.  Which is just fucking adorable.

Blaine and Alan look ready to double-team a handsome new face!

Perhaps most intriguing is this shot of Blaine Janus and Alan aka Red Baron sandwiching an extremely handsome young man who I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure to meet yet.  In this shot he bears a strong resemblance to John Fugelsang, who is blisteringly hot in my book.  I’m guessing this is one of the newbies Kid Leopard mentioned as part of the cast of characters in Pembroke last weekend.  I have no independent verification as to whether this could be the hot hunk with the jaw-dropping nipples I’ve heard about.  He looks fit, but there’s really no telling from this shot what sort of physique he’s smuggling under those baggy clothes (Skip, drag this boy to Hollisters!!!).  I hope Kid K gave this handsome hottie the warm welcome a beautiful rookie face deserves (i.e., Kid Karisma’s premiere muscle ass sitting on his face!).

Red Baron pumps up to prepare for his next cub hunt.

Kid K also posted a shot of Alan pumping his guns, which illustrates why Kid K and his buddies refer to him as “Daddy” Alan.  Good thing Karisma and Alan are buddies, because shit talking with a big bear daddy like this seems dangerous if you’re a lean, 5’8″ slice of beef with baby blue eyes like Kid K.  Then again, in the words of the karismatic one…

“I don’t give a fuck!”

Keep dishing up the dirt, Kid Karisma!  Your grip on the title of my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler is fucking TIGHT with all this extra-curricular, behind the scenes insight into a hot and heavy weekend of wrestling at BG East!

Give Me All You’ve Got!

After nearly mounting a come from behind victory over Cameron Mathews in this week’s reader’s choice poll (and given another couple of hours, I think he’d have done it!), I asked Skip Vance if he’d chat with me in more detail about what makes such a hot jobber like him tick.  He was more than happy to give a fascinating and provocative glimpse into the life of a jobber and his tall stud of a wrestling kink lover.  Skip went surprisingly deep in this interview – touching on family, chronic health concerns, and his unvarnished opinions about the people behind the scenes in homoerotic wrestling. For his honesty, his hard, hot bod, and his life lived with so many inspiring passions, I’m very happy to have had the opportunity to get to know him better. You will be, too!

Skip Vance – 5’6″, 135 lbs.

Bard: First of all, I love your wrestling resume! How long have you been wrestling?

Skip: I’ve been wrestling around 6 years now. Thanks for being a fan!

Bard: Truly my pleasure! When did you get connected with BG East?

Christian shows Skip the erotic wrestling ropes.

Skip: After about a year dating Christian, one night when we were playing pool at a bar. I could tell he was scared and wanted to tell me something. It took him about an hour to tell me that he did wrestling. I was confused about why it was a big deal. So we went back to his place and he showed me a BG East VHS. Oh my God! I fell in love with wrestling that moment. We went into his then tiny bedroom were I let him beat the hell out of me in my first wrestling match I had ever done. My school had nothing of the sort.

Bard: Holy shit that’s the sexiest dating story I’ve heard EVER! Do you remember who it was that you saw him wrestling that first time?

Skip: I can’t remember at the moment but the video is in our collection. I can answer that for you in a bit after he is home from work. I’m almost certain it was TJ Tanner.

So your boyfriend takes you home, pops in a video, and shows you this…!

Bard: Hot, hot, hot! So you’ve also done some work with Rock Hard Wrestling. How did you get connected with them?

Skip: We were contacted by Rock Hard and thought we would give them a shot. Neither of us left happy. I thought the matches were too scripted and it just seemed so fake. The owner did not want it to be obviously gay. That confused the hell out of me. Since then we have learned that BG East is the place our heart is when it comes to wrestling.

Christian’s watches with concern as Tyler Reeves tortures
Skip over at RHW

Bard: Fair enough. So what’s Christian’s major wrestling weakness? What’s your best bet and making him submit?

Skip: As soon as our matches become nude it’s pretty much over with. We move on to the next best thing. I always get him in a body scissor of some sort and start taking it off.

Bard: Yes, yes, yes! What’s he do to you that you can’t resist?

Skip: For me it’s seeing his face as he gets to throw me around our wrestling room. It takes our relationship to the next level. The forceful kissing when he knows he has me and I can’t move really turns me on.

“…forceful kissing when he knows he has me and I can’t move really turns me on.”

Bard: Damn… damn, damn, damn that sounds like a match made in heaven on every level. It struck me when I was watching your Sexy Showdown 6 match for the 100th time that the two of you make quite a visually striking pair. You’re quite a bit shorter than Christian, yes?

Skip: Yes I am a lot shorter (laughing). But that does not stop me from being the one that takes control in every aspect of our relationship, if you know what I mean. Like my mother says, Christian has the brains and I have the common sense.

Bard: Mom sounds cool! Does she know what you get up to in Pembroke?

Skip: Yes my mother does know I wrestle and is a huge supporter of me no matter what I do in life, as long as I’m happy. She got picture after picture during the past weekend at BG East.

Staying fit inside and out!

Bard: That’s adorable. And damn you are one lean anatomy chart of a little stud! I’m guessing your physical conditioning is a key to your capacity to soak up the amount of punishment that you have over the years. What part of your physique are you proudest of?

Skip: I am very blessed when it comes to my body. Both my mom and dad always have been in great shape. I guess I’m the proudest of what you can’t see. I was diagnosed with Chron’s disease a few years ago. I keep to a strict diet to keep from having flare-ups. It was a very hard battle to stop all my bad habits when it came to food. I was always the one that would eat what I want when I want and lucky for me my body didn’t notice (laughing). I will say my hair is one of the most important things. I have had this hair style for about 15 years… way longer than Justin Bieber.

Bard: And you’d so kick Bieber’s ass! In fact, I’d pay to see that. A lot. Is your Chron’s under control these days? Since you were just at BGE throwing down, I’m guessing your still doing pretty well.

Skip: Yes my health is back to 100%. Flare-ups can happen at any point in time, so a healthy diet is a must.

Bard: Glad to hear it’s under control. What part of your physique does Christian like most?

It’s Skip’s ass that does it for Christian

Skip: Christian says its my ass that has always done it for him. I’m so little and it’s just.. there… he said.

Bard: I went on the record months ago calling for, nay, pleading to see you and Christian turn tag team partners with a nod to the fact that you’re lovers out of the ring as well. So when I recently saw your Facebook update reporting that you were climbing into the ring last weekend to wrestle a tag team match with him, I was dizzy with excitement. Tell me every last detail you can tell me without having Kid Leopard hunt us both down and kick our asses!

Skip: I really can’t go into any details on the match besides its very hot. With BG East it might be a while until it comes out.

Bard: I want to give you a ton of credit for being at the forefront of reaching out to your fans. I realize that not all homoerotic wrestlers want to interact with their fan base, and of course that’s cool, but you have been absolutely wonderful about acknowledging your fans, being available to us through your Facebook page and your new fan page, and really demonstrating genuine appreciation and respect for the guys who can’t get enough of you! Is there anything you’d like your fans to know about you, about your work, or about the business?

 I want my fans to know that I am the most chill person behind the boy that likes his ass beat (laughing). I love my job. I am a union steward. Politics is my life, I want to help change this country for the better on LGBT rights. Being with my partner for 7 years and not being able to have the same rights as a married couple hurts me. My hobbies are remodeling our home, working outside, running and playing with my three dogs.

Bard: Coincidentally, I used to have a shop steward who should’ve been a homoerotic wrestler! And all of the sexiest men have dogs… that’s my working theory at least. Speaking of getting your ass beast, you seem to be awfully proud of the fact that your lean ass has been bashed by the best. What’s it like for you when you’re in the middle of a match being dominated by some bigger guy?

Skip: Oh, it’s great. Just when you think you can’t take anymore, the beating gets worse. At least in mine and Jonny’s match it did. I tell the guys before we start to wrestle that just because I am in pain does not mean I’m asking you to stop or to go easier. Outside of wrestling you would never think I love a good beating. It’s wrestling that gets that part out of me. And thank god because other wise I would be in a lot if street fights.

Skip’s “Boston boyfriend” knows what Skip likes

Bard: Speaking of your match with Jonny Firestorm, wowza! Damn he OWNED you, and I hope you don’t mind me saying that the way you suffered in his hands was a masterpiece! I mean, sometimes we see guys “suffer,” as in grimace and grunt a little and squirm (not to name any names), but holy hell! The out and out anguish wracking your entire, smoking hot bod was absolutely incredible to watch. I saw on your FB page a shot of you, Jonny and Christian from this weekend. Looks like after all that brutality, you’re good friends.

Skip: Yes, even after the brutality we are great friends. We stay in touch between wrestling weekends at BG East. Jonny is a very chill guy that nobody should have a problem getting along with. I always kid and say he is my Boston boyfriend. I honestly thought he was going to slam me through the wall in our match. He was surprised that I was able to walk after all the wrestling holds he got me in. All in all I would say our match is my favorite to this day.

Bard: Is Jonny the opponent who made you hurt the worst?

Skip: Absolutely, and I want another match with him. It’s awesome when you know you have wrestled the best. But at the same time I want my other opponents to come with the same energy and strength.

Bard: So name some names, Skip! Other than Christian, who’s turned you on the hardest?

Bounce, bounce, bounce!”

Skip: I would say my top three being Jonny, Kid Karisma and Mike Martin.

Bard: That’s a beautiful, beautiful list! Seriously, Kid Karisma’s ass… as mind-blowing in person as it is on camera?

Skip: Absolutely. I love it when he makes it shake (laughing). Just imagine going to the club with him. Bounce, bounce, bounce.

Bard: Oh my, I’ll have to mull that image over in my mind for a while. But in the mean time, the Boss mentioned in a comment on the blog that this past weekend in addition to you and Christian and a bunch of other wrestlers who make me insanely aroused, there were at least a couple of newbies. What do you think a brand spanking new rookie needs to show in a BG East debut to establish himself as a returning fan favorite?

Skip: I would say personality is key during the match. Of course as wrestlers we are getting to live out our fantasies, but we have to make sure we’re doing everything we can so they viewer watching at home is living out his as he watches. This is the reason I feel so strongly in reaching out to my fans and getting to know them. It helps in my match to know I’m making someone else as happy as I’m making myself.

Bard: I love that attitude! And it totally shows in your wrestling. Who haven’t you faced yet at BGE that you’d like to get your hands on (and vice versa)?

Cameron Mathews could give Skip a welcome beating

Skip: I got to watch a match live with Cameron Matthews this past weekend. I would love to take a good beating from him.

Bard: It’s no wonder that he managed to hold off your late advance in the reader’s choice poll, is it? He’s one hot wrestler with a fantastic ability to sell and an amazing body to watch! Anybody else, current or past at BGE, that you’d like to get worked on by? Because I’ve got suggestions… Like how is it possible Kid Vicious hasn’t got his hands on you? I’d also make a case for Denny Cartier… Denny always seems to me to be teetering on the edge of turning really, really dark, and a punishment sponge like you could be just the thing to awaken Denny’s inner beast! Just suggesting.

Skip: I’m very open for suggestions. I honestly am willing to take on anyone. I kind of get a thrill out of going into the matches not knowing who I’m up against. Majority of the time I’m very pleased with the wrestler. I always let them know in my pre-match up that I don’t want them to take it easy on me. If you’re not giving me all you have then you’re wasting my time.

Bard: Speaking of giving your all, your offer to go on a dinner date with one lucky fan if you won the “Dinner Date” reader’s choice poll at neverland this week was absolutely brilliant! I was tempted to try to stuff the ballot box on your behalf, but frankly I’m not technologically savvy enough to know how to do that. Next time I’m in your hometown, will you let me treat you dinner?

Skip’s happy all over to wrestle Mike Martin!

Skip: Absolutely. I love cooking and having guests over. The first thing I did after returning from Boston was to finish my collection of china. I aim to please in everything I do. It would be an honor to have you over for dinner. In the past year I could count on two hands the times me and Christian have gone out to eat. I make lunch for him on Sundays that will last the week. I cook dinner fresh every night. I am huge in buying local and staying away from corporate bullshit stores. I even go to a place called the strip district to buy local meats and veggies. If I can’t find out we’re it’s from I do not buy it.

Bard: I’m getting a clear picture of why Christian has been with you for 7 years!!!

Skip: I also do grow my own garden every year. I was raised in Arkansas. My nearest neighbor being 4 miles away. My family lived off the land. My grandfather was a commercial fisherman so fresh is the only way for me.

Bard: Sounds fantastic! What did you mean when you said you finished your collection of china?

Skip: (laughing) I’ve been collecting and buying it piece by piece because, let’s just be frank, I don’t buy anything cheap. If I do not have the cash up front then I do not get it. So for the past two years I’ve been slowly buying it. Now it’s complete and I NEED a guest to serve! (laughing)

Bard: (laughing) I’m your man, then! Fresh, organic, and homemade… on expensive china? I’m tempted to book a flight today! I hope you’re okay with hosting a vegetarian. Am I correct in remembering from your Facebook post recently that you’re available to wrestle for hire? What’s it like being hired to fulfill somebody’s personal wrestling fantasy like that?

Skip stays in shape to face his next opponent… you?

Skip: We’ll that is something new I’m trying to get into. With Christian being out of grad school we want to get our debt paid off ASAP so we can one day adopt a child. I am certain I will love it. I keep an open mind with everything. I want my fans to enjoy more than just a video. I want to please my fans in my videos and give them the chance to meet me and get to do what Jonny Firestorm did to me – to get their hands on me!

Bard: Awe-some! Reading the comments on your Facebook page and fan page, it’s clear that there are plenty guys who want just that. With the extremely hot action that you and Christian have both been part of at BGE, has there ever been any jealousy? Mike Martin’s tongue down Christian’s throat ever give you a twinge? Your lips around Billy Lodi’s cock make Christian a little green?

Skip: Not that I’m aware of. We both know that we’re made for each other. Of course at home and for BG East we’re very honest and open in our relationship. If he or I find a guy to be very hot and want to wrestle and get a little wild we let each other know. Keeping open conversation with each other is key. Christian can sometimes wear me out with all his energy, and it’s good to just sit back and watch.

Bard: I know from experience that it can be very good to sit back and watch either of you take on someone new! Is there anything else you’d like fans to know about what makes an unabashed hot jobber like you tick?

Skip: I’m drawing a blank (laughing). Just being yourself is key for me. I am not in to people making themselves out to be someone they’re not. If you’re honest we will work well together.

I know you get a ton of praise from your fans through watching the comments on your Facebook page, but it bears repeating: you’re one awesome, sexy as hell wrestler and a true delight to both watch wrestle and talk with! Thanks for doing this!

Skip: Hey, no problem. If you ever have any questions or want to talk just hit me up. Thanks again. It’s been a pleasure.

Bieber’s got nothing on BG East’s resident hot jobber!

Dinner Date Chosen

Cam’s the dinner date of choice!
The commanding winner in the reader’s choice poll to determine which homoerotic wrestler readers would most want to have visit their homes for dinner was none other than wrestling hunk extraordinaire Cameron Mathews.  He crossed the finish line with 36% of the vote, which is a decisive testimony to the loyal fans he’s earned from working that gorgeous bubble butt of his off from coast to coast and production to production over the past decade.  He held steady at or around 50% of the vote through most of the two days that the poll was open, in fact, looking like he was going to blow away his next closest competition by more than double.  However, just this morning, with mere hours left to vote, shit got interesting!
Skip convinces Christian that he’ll show up for dinner with a fan too!
That’s when fierce little scrapper Skip Vance put out a message on Facebook lobbying his fans to mount a come from behind maneuver on Cam (and who among us haven’t fantasized about a come from behind maneuver on Cam!?).  Skip offered one fan selected at random to be treated to a dinner made by his own hands if he ends up on top of the polls once all is said and done.  He instantly got a bump, pulling ahead of Kid Karisma for second place.  When Skip added that both he and former homoerotic wrestler of the month and Skip’s lover, Christian Taylor, would sit down to said dinner with the randomly selected fan, the sprint to the finish line was on! He began to close the distance with Cam at such a pace that I was seriously beginning to suspect a photo finish.  While Cam limped across the line with the decisive victory, nobody was stronger around the last turn than hot and eager Skip! As to whether he’ll still auction off a dinner date, we’ll have to wait and see.

Kid Karisma can’t believe you left him in 3rd place!
Third place winner and party-boy muscle stud Kid Karisma has got to be scratching his head right about now wondering how he not only got outpaced by Cam but blown-by flat footed by late bloomer Skip! Somehow, I’m guessing with his life-of-the-party karisma and astonishingly sexy body (look… at… that… ASS!!!), Kid K has never been short of dinner invitations. If he’s ever in need of a hot meal and adoring company, he’s got a place at my table anytime.  As for restraining myself from putting my hands on those glutes, no promises, Kid K.
Dinner? Steel Muscle God Dan may be too busy being worshipped!
Not surprisingly, Steel Muscle God Dan had a very solid showing in the poll. It’s not surprising because if you spend any time at all at, you pick up on the fact very quickly that Dan’s got a worldwide following of extremely rabid fans who are very, very loyal to SMG.  If he’d put out the call to his worshippers to really mobilize the vote, I strongly suspect he’d have put some hurt on even Cam.  I’m not too worried that SMG’s ego will take a hit for not winning the reader’s choice poll here. He’s got muscles of steel, for god’s sake, and the self-confidence to strip naked and demand to be worshipped.  However, if he’s ever in the neighborhood and feeling peckish, he can take solace in the fact that I’ll be more than happy to set another place at the table.
“A Fabulous Dinner Date!”
Through back channels I was delighted to hear that Lon Dumont had an opinion on the matter.  His opinion was, of course, that he’d make a “fabulous dinner date!”  He also mentioned that since he’s been dieting like a fiend in preparation for the bodybuilding season about to commence any minute, he could seriously put 2nds and 3rds away right now, so plan ahead if you invite him to dinner. Lon knows that he has a standing invitation to my table, and I’m also ever ready to apply his instant tan all over every inch of his body before any and every competition (which wasn’t up for consideration in the poll, but I just wanted to make that point clear).
Not everyone could handle an evening with Eli Black
I’m guessing Eli Black knows full well why he didn’t win.  You were too fucking scared of him! Truth be told, despite his expansive ego and fiercely competitive spirit when it comes to absolutely everything, I just bet that the Shutdown would completely charm the pants off you if you had him over for dinner.  Of course, the poll wasn’t about who you’re ready to take your pants off for, but even keeping my pants on, I’d be delighted and honored to pass Eli the mashed potatoes.
Darius “BMG” is looking for a taste of SMG!
Darius had a solid showing in the poll, reflecting what I happen to know is a loyal base of fans who’ve been wanting to see more of this Black Muscle God – more screen time and more skin! Darius let it be known that he doled out his vote for Steel Muscle God, because despite SMG being a no-show to face Darius stateside, Darius still has his sights set on an epic showdown between the Steel Muscle God and the Black Muscle God. Fuck the poll! I’ll push my furniture to the walls to watch that battle of the gods live!
Is that Chris Isaak? No, it’s hot jobber Ken Canada!
Long-time friend and contributor to this blog, Stay Puft, let it be known that he simply had to register his vote for energizer bunny and possessor of endless hotness and stories of hotness, Ken Canada. He never picked up traction in the polling, but I have to agree with S.P. when he points out that Ken’s sense of humor and enthusiastic understanding of the eroticism of wrestling would make him a truly entertaining dinner date!
Cage Thunder is busy serving up some meat of his own
I happen to know that Cage Thunder registered his vote in the poll for Lon. Get those two bull dozers on the same page and I can’t imagine what tag team would dare step foot in the ring with them.  But around the dinner table, I can’t help but figure that meal would go into the wee hours of the morning as these two profoundly reflective men trade wit and wisdom from never-ending reserves.  Personally, I’m a little astonished Cage Thunder didn’t show better in the polling, and I have to chalk it up to Eli’s theory that there were just a whole lot of you too damn frightened to sit across the table from him.  Not me.  He’s got a standing invitation at chez Bard.

Don’t bother Ben with dinner invitations.  He’s building a wrestling career, people!
The rookie sensation with magical lips, Ben Monaco never managed to build a head of steam in voting.   Big Ben is brand spanking new to the industry, of course, so pitting him against absolute fixtures in homoerotic wrestling like Cameron Mathews was always going to be an uphill battle for him.  My educated guess is that Ben isn’t surprised at all that he wasn’t the top vote-getter, and if anything he’s just that much more eager to plant his hot ass on another opponent’s face and absolutely make you forget all about the rest for a moment and marvel at him as he tests what he’s got against the best at BGE.  Ben knows he’s just at the beginning of an incredibly sexy, demanding journey into our hearts, but as for me I’ve got a casserole and a bottle of wine just waiting for him.

Reader’s Choice Poll – Dinner Date

When asked which presidential candidate they would prefer to visit their home for dinner, 52% of respondents named President Obama, compared with just 33% of them selecting $omney.  Personally, I think this is the most useless polling question to be asked every four years, but sadly the American electorate seems to consistently prioritize this kind of popularity contest over actual qualifications for leading this country (foreign policy experience? a grasp of the legislative process? the capacity to make life-and-death decisions with regard to the use of military power and weapons of mass destruction?  no, we’re more likely to vote based on who we’d prefer to have dinner with… oy).  That’s enough of my political analysis for today, other than to alert my Swedish readers once again that if Tax-Dodger $omney is elected in November, I expect one of you to sponsor me as a political refugee.
I say let’s save such weighty questions like who we’d prefer to visit our homes for dinner for really important matters, like considering our favorite homoerotic wrestlers.  Sure, dinner table repartee isn’t exactly all that relevant to what compels us most in picking our homoerotic wrestling fare, but I still say it’s more relevant to wrestlers than politicians.  So this reader’s choice poll asks you to consider who you’d most prefer to have over for dinner.  I’m limiting the field to those who’ve demonstrated at least a little of their communication skills by being interviewed on the pages of this blog.  You can nominate someone else in the comments below, but the names on the poll are strictly drawn from the “friends of the blog” on record. This is about the dinner table, mind you.  Don’t base your choice on who’d you prefer to make you suffer in a head scissors in the living room after dinner.  We’re talking about an evening absent of actual wrestling (though of course the dinner conversation is entirely available to muse on the topic).  We’re also not talking about who you want to fuck.  This is an evening in which no semblance of sexual contact is going to happen.  You can decide how to instruct your dinner guests with regard to attire, so you can eye-fuck them across the table all night long, but physical contact is limited to handshakes and, let’s just say, a lingering, full-body hug to say goodnight (no ass squeeze!).  The real question is who would you like sitting across the table from you to talk with, to ask for their insights, to tell them what’s on your mind, to wax philosophical about wrestling or politics or religion or whatever topic the two of you want to talk about.  So that’s the background.  Here are your choices of dinner guests:

Lon Dumont: the first wrestler to grant me an interview a year and a half ago, Lon’s body and wrestling skills have earned him a permanent spot at or very near the top of my favorites ever since I first set eyes on him.  His ring banter was one of the most entertaining and arousing aspects of his work that captured my attention and keeps me coming back for more.  But his interview was a revelation into the diverse passions and thoughtful, open-minded outlook on life that make me think Lon would make an absolutely delightful dinner guest. Topics you would most likely find yourself discussing: bodybuilding, pets, indy wrestling, homoerotic wresting, hairstyles, freedom from religion, and Rocky.

Ken Canda: this classic from the early days of BG East has his picture next to the definition of the phrase: hot jobber.  His wrestling is foundational watching for those with any interest in seeing the evolution of the pro wrestling babyface jobber into an entirely unique and incredibly arousing fixture tailored to the tastes of the gay wrestling kink audience.  No, you DON’T get to pound him in an OTK backbreaker and claw his balls, though under different circumstances, I suspect he may very well be open to it (so save it for your second date).  But as evidenced in his extensive interview on the pages of this blog, Ken is happy to stroll down memory lane and tell you absolutely intoxicating tales of behind the cameras shenanigans from the early days at BGE, including delightful descriptions of every wrestler he faced and just how incredibly arousing it was to be brutalized over and over again.  You will hear about the esprit de corps that forged bonds of brotherhood and homoerotic beauty among the men who truly enjoyed each other’s company on and off camera, as well as the insights of a fellow wrestling kinkster who continues to live and love the eroticism of wrestling whenever he gets the chance.

Kid Karisma: As he explained in our interview last January, there’s a reason the Boss gave him the moniker Kid Karisma! While you won’t have the chance to get your hands on that legendary muscle ass of his over dinner, you can get lost gazing into those baby blues and have your feet swept right out from underneath you (metaphorically) by that sly, sideways grin and a wink from the man who is as charismatic as they come! He’ll entertain you with the extremely hot candid photos he takes with his phone, and just between the two of you, he’s likely to spill all the dirt on the best, baddest, horniest and hottest action to go on behind the scenes at BG East. I recommend not serving your best china, because I’m guessing this insatiable party boy could be dancing on the table before dessert!

Eli Black: a wrestling match with this hot young phenom would put you on your back in a heartbeat, but a no-holds dinner date with the boy wonder would, no doubt, just as surely keep you on your toes.  As I learned first hand in our interview last February, he’s got an in-your-face charm that I personally find completely disarming, but don’t let your defenses down too quickly.  Eli is not a man to be trifled with, and polite chit chat about the weather or the price of tea in China will earn you a withering insult and sneer of contempt.  But if you’re up for a dinner guest who loves a debate, who wants nothing more than to meet the man who’ll give as hard as he gets, and who never, ever tires of talking about the most important topic of all: himself; then Eli may be your man. I’m also guessing he’ll have his shirt and pants off in a heartbeat if you show a little interest in his ink (but remember, you don’t get to touch, just admire hands-free).

Steel Muscle God “Dan”: SMG rocked my world when he agreed to chat with me about the life of an online bodyworship phenom with an innate understanding of wrestling kink.  While you are not allowed to lick his steel muscles from head to toe during this dinner date, I guarantee you that you’ll feel a stirring deep down in your pants the moment he opens his luscious lips and growls out his erotically charged baritone.  Seriously, this man oozes sexiness. He could make me cum by reading the phonebook, and I’ll be damned if I wouldn’t come back for more of the same as soon as I reloaded.  Although you can’t touch it, SMG is an unapologetic exhibitionist, so whatever attire you specified, plan on seeing him take it off before the meal is over.  Be prepared to laugh a lot, because he’s got an entrancing sense of humor, and he’s the only hot bodied hunk I know with both the balls to take our money to worship his naked body AND poke fun at himself.  Conversation is likely to revolve around friends, working out, and censorship on the net, but seriously… just shut the fuck up, watch his gorgeous lips move, and let that voice transport you to your fondest fantasies.
Skip Vance: although I haven’t enjoyed a full-length interview with him yet, Skip did considerately take  the time to give me some on-the-record feedback on my take on his real life lover and rumored-to-be tag team partner, former homoerotic wrestler of the month Christian Taylor.  An unapologetic jobber with a crazy lust for getting his hot bod bashed mercilessly, he’s off limits for you to dish out any of your own corporal punishment you’ve been inspired to fantasize about after watching Skip at work! But I can guarantee you that you’ll definitely hear him gush about his life of domestic bliss with Christian (including their private wrestling routines), his fierce lust for wrestling, and the catalog of crushing humiliation he’s suffered at the hands of… well, everyone!  Don’t be surprised to also get a strong dose of workers’ rights and musings on healthy cooking, because he’s one well-rounded babyface masochist!

Ben Monaco: in our interview in June, Ben gave neverland readers a glimpse into what it’s like for a new kid on the block to get “discovered” by the star-makers at BG East.  His hungry lips are completely off limits to you this night, mind you, but perhaps you’ll decide to serve popsicles for desert so you can watch him wrap those baby’s around something long and suck it hard.  He’s a new face in the homoerotic wrestling universe, but I can assure you that you’ll enjoy plenty of delightful insights into erotic wrestling from him.  Ask him about the gallons of sweat he drenches his opponents with… go ahead, I dare you, because after listening to him describe his body slipping and sliding across his opponent’s drenched muscles, you’ll be politely excusing yourself to take care of a pressing need that’s arisen in your crotch.  If you can convince him that you can keep a secret, he’ll tell you straight up who’s doing what on camera and off, and he’ll give you his unvarnished opinion on the ranks he’s still working to rise within.

Cage Thunder: my interview in July was just the tip of the iceberg about knowing the man beneath the mask.  You know you want him to knee you in the balls and crush your face into his crotch as you grovel in front of him, but none of that is allowed on this dinner date! So take a cold shower and pick out your finest mask to wear, because Cage Thunder is a class act who’ll demand the best.  Points of discussion to prepare for: wrestling, gear, New Orleans, erotica, boys he’s bashed, boys he’s still waiting to bash, the existential implications of all of the above… If you’re daring, though, you’ll just mention the name “Mitch Colby,” and then sit back and watch the sparks fly for hours on end!

Darius: also granting me an interview in July, bodybeautiful private wrestling hunk turned BG East muscle beast, Darius would be a charming dinner date, I’m certain.  There’s just something about him that makes me think of the word “gentlemanly.”  If it’s the custom in your house, I expect he wouldn’t think twice about taking his shoes off when entering.  Hell, tell him it’s the custom in your house and I bet the beautiful hunk of muscle would take all his clothes off to show you your proper respect, because he’s not shy for an instant about showing skin! Working out, the underground wrestling circuit, his plans to destroy SMG in body and soul… all these are likely topics you’ll cover over the course of the evening, but the only thing you’ll remember when the napkins are put down and the last of the wine gone is falling into those gorgeous eyes and watching his knee-buckling sexy lips move as he talks to you.  Go ahead and tell him it’s the custom in your house that dinner guests flex for their dessert. Darius is not a man to neglect the niceties! 

Cameron Mathews: just last month I interviewed your final option for a dinner date with a homoerotic wrestler.  I know you want Cam and Lon to show up together, preferably to reprise their indy wrestling days and wrestle one another in your living room, but it’s not going to happen this time! If it’s Cam who strikes your fancy, just remember you can look at that legendary bubble butt, but you can’t touch! He’s pretty much the epitome of a babyface, but don’t think for an instant that you’ll have some naive kid tucking his napkin in his shirt and asking you to pass the ketchup for his filet mignon.  This veteran of nearly every production company across homoerotic and straight-up independent wrestling known to man has seen it all, and if you’re ready to show him his proper respect, I bet he’ll keep the conversation lively with stories from the long road of making a living with a passionate love of wrestling, a hot body, and boyish good looks. If you’re looking for reflections on post-Marxist critical philosophers, Cam may not be your man, because he lives, breathes, eats and drinks nothing but wrestling, my friends.  But if it’s every aspect of wrestling from coast to coast, hardbody to doughboy, ring to mat, jobber to heel that will delight you, then you can’t go wrong with picking Cam.

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