When asked which presidential candidate they would prefer to visit their home for dinner, 52% of respondents named President Obama, compared with just 33% of them selecting $omney. Personally, I think this is the most useless polling question to be asked every four years, but sadly the American electorate seems to consistently prioritize this kind of popularity contest over actual qualifications for leading this country (foreign policy experience? a grasp of the legislative process? the capacity to make life-and-death decisions with regard to the use of military power and weapons of mass destruction? no, we’re more likely to vote based on who we’d prefer to have dinner with… oy). That’s enough of my political analysis for today, other than to alert my Swedish readers once again that if Tax-Dodger $omney is elected in November, I expect one of you to sponsor me as a political refugee.
I say let’s save such weighty questions like who we’d prefer to visit our homes for dinner for really important matters, like considering our favorite homoerotic wrestlers. Sure, dinner table repartee isn’t exactly all that relevant to what compels us most in picking our homoerotic wrestling fare, but I still say it’s more relevant to wrestlers than politicians. So this reader’s choice poll asks you to consider who you’d most prefer to have over for dinner. I’m limiting the field to those who’ve demonstrated at least a little of their communication skills by being interviewed on the pages of this blog. You can nominate someone else in the comments below, but the names on the poll are strictly drawn from the “friends of the blog” on record. This is about the dinner table, mind you. Don’t base your choice on who’d you prefer to make you suffer in a head scissors in the living room after dinner. We’re talking about an evening absent of actual wrestling (though of course the dinner conversation is entirely available to muse on the topic). We’re also not talking about who you want to fuck. This is an evening in which no semblance of sexual contact is going to happen. You can decide how to instruct your dinner guests with regard to attire, so you can eye-fuck them across the table all night long, but physical contact is limited to handshakes and, let’s just say, a lingering, full-body hug to say goodnight (no ass squeeze!). The real question is who would you like sitting across the table from you to talk with, to ask for their insights, to tell them what’s on your mind, to wax philosophical about wrestling or politics or religion or whatever topic the two of you want to talk about. So that’s the background. Here are your choices of dinner guests:
Lon Dumont: the first wrestler to grant me an interview a year and a half ago, Lon’s body and wrestling skills have earned him a permanent spot at or very near the top of my favorites ever since I first set eyes on him. His ring banter was one of the most entertaining and arousing aspects of his work that captured my attention and keeps me coming back for more. But his interview was a revelation into the diverse passions and thoughtful, open-minded outlook on life that make me think Lon would make an absolutely delightful dinner guest. Topics you would most likely find yourself discussing: bodybuilding, pets, indy wrestling, homoerotic wresting, hairstyles, freedom from religion, and Rocky.
: this classic from the early days of BG East has his picture next to the definition of the phrase: hot jobber. His wrestling is foundational watching for those with any interest in seeing the evolution of the pro wrestling babyface jobber into an entirely unique and incredibly arousing fixture tailored to the tastes of the gay wrestling kink audience. No, you DON’T get to pound him in an OTK backbreaker and claw his balls, though under different circumstances, I suspect he may very well be open to it (so save it for your second date). But as evidenced in his extensive interview
on the pages of this blog, Ken is happy to stroll down memory lane and tell you absolutely intoxicating tales of behind the cameras shenanigans from the early days at BGE, including delightful descriptions of every wrestler he faced and just how incredibly arousing it was to be brutalized over and over again. You will hear about the esprit de corps that forged bonds of brotherhood and homoerotic beauty among the men who truly enjoyed each other’s company on and off camera, as well as the insights of a fellow wrestling kinkster who continues to live and love the eroticism of wrestling whenever he gets the chance.
: As he explained in our interview last January
, there’s a reason the Boss gave him the moniker Kid Karisma! While you won’t have the chance to get your hands on that legendary muscle ass of his over dinner, you can get lost gazing into those baby blues and have your feet swept right out from underneath you (metaphorically) by that sly, sideways grin and a wink from the man who is as charismatic as they come! He’ll entertain you with the extremely hot candid photos he takes with his phone, and just between the two of you, he’s likely to spill all the dirt on the best, baddest, horniest and hottest action to go on behind the scenes at BG East. I recommend not serving your best china, because I’m guessing this insatiable party boy could be dancing on the table before dessert!
Eli Black: a wrestling match with this hot young phenom would put you on your back in a heartbeat, but a no-holds dinner date with the boy wonder would, no doubt, just as surely keep you on your toes. As I learned first hand in our interview last February, he’s got an in-your-face charm that I personally find completely disarming, but don’t let your defenses down too quickly. Eli is not a man to be trifled with, and polite chit chat about the weather or the price of tea in China will earn you a withering insult and sneer of contempt. But if you’re up for a dinner guest who loves a debate, who wants nothing more than to meet the man who’ll give as hard as he gets, and who never, ever tires of talking about the most important topic of all: himself; then Eli may be your man. I’m also guessing he’ll have his shirt and pants off in a heartbeat if you show a little interest in his ink (but remember, you don’t get to touch, just admire hands-free).
Steel Muscle God “Dan”
: SMG rocked my world when he agreed to chat with me
about the life of an online bodyworship phenom with an innate understanding of wrestling kink. While you are not allowed to lick his steel muscles from head to toe during this dinner date, I guarantee you that you’ll feel a stirring deep down in your pants the moment he opens his luscious lips and growls out his erotically charged baritone. Seriously, this man oozes sexiness. He could make me cum by reading the phonebook, and I’ll be damned if I wouldn’t come back for more of the same as soon as I reloaded. Although you can’t touch it, SMG is an unapologetic exhibitionist, so whatever attire you specified, plan on seeing him take it off before the meal is over. Be prepared to laugh a lot, because he’s got an entrancing sense of humor, and he’s the only hot bodied hunk I know with both the balls to take our money to worship his naked body AND poke fun at himself. Conversation is likely to revolve around friends, working out, and censorship on the net, but seriously… just shut the fuck up, watch his gorgeous lips move, and let that voice transport you to your fondest fantasies.
: although I haven’t enjoyed a full-length interview with him yet, Skip did considerately take the time to give me some on-the-record feedback
on my take on his real life lover and rumored-to-be tag team partner, former homoerotic wrestler of the month Christian Taylor. An unapologetic jobber with a crazy lust for getting his hot bod bashed mercilessly, he’s off limits for you to dish out any of your own corporal punishment you’ve been inspired to fantasize about after watching Skip at work! But I can guarantee you that you’ll definitely hear him gush about his life of domestic bliss with Christian (including their private wrestling routines), his fierce lust for wrestling, and the catalog of crushing humiliation he’s suffered at the hands of… well, everyone! Don’t be surprised to also get a strong dose of workers’ rights and musings on healthy cooking, because he’s one well-rounded babyface masochist!
: in our interview in June
, Ben gave neverland readers a glimpse into what it’s like for a new kid on the block to get “discovered” by the star-makers at BG East. His hungry lips are completely off limits to you this night, mind you, but perhaps you’ll decide to serve popsicles for desert so you can watch him wrap those baby’s around something long and suck it hard. He’s a new face in the homoerotic wrestling universe, but I can assure you that you’ll enjoy plenty of delightful insights into erotic wrestling from him. Ask him about the gallons of sweat he drenches his opponents with… go ahead, I dare you, because after listening to him describe his body slipping and sliding across his opponent’s drenched muscles, you’ll be politely excusing yourself to take care of a pressing need that’s arisen in your crotch. If you can convince him that you can keep a secret, he’ll tell you straight up who’s doing what on camera and off, and he’ll give you his unvarnished opinion on the ranks he’s still working to rise within.
Cage Thunder: my interview in July was just the tip of the iceberg about knowing the man beneath the mask. You know you want him to knee you in the balls and crush your face into his crotch as you grovel in front of him, but none of that is allowed on this dinner date! So take a cold shower and pick out your finest mask to wear, because Cage Thunder is a class act who’ll demand the best. Points of discussion to prepare for: wrestling, gear, New Orleans, erotica, boys he’s bashed, boys he’s still waiting to bash, the existential implications of all of the above… If you’re daring, though, you’ll just mention the name “Mitch Colby,” and then sit back and watch the sparks fly for hours on end!
: also granting me an interview in July
, bodybeautiful private wrestling hunk turned BG East muscle beast, Darius would be a charming dinner date, I’m certain. There’s just something about him that makes me think of the word “gentlemanly.” If it’s the custom in your house, I expect he wouldn’t think twice about taking his shoes off when entering. Hell, tell him it’s the custom in your house and I bet the beautiful hunk of muscle would take all his clothes off to show you your proper respect, because he’s not shy for an instant about showing skin! Working out, the underground wrestling circuit, his plans to destroy SMG in body and soul… all these are likely topics you’ll cover over the course of the evening, but the only thing you’ll remember when the napkins are put down and the last of the wine gone is falling into those gorgeous eyes and watching his knee-buckling sexy lips move as he talks to you. Go ahead and tell him it’s the custom in your house that dinner guests flex for their dessert. Darius is not a man to neglect the niceties!
Cameron Mathews: just last month I interviewed your final option for a dinner date with a homoerotic wrestler. I know you want Cam and Lon to show up together, preferably to reprise their indy wrestling days and wrestle one another in your living room, but it’s not going to happen this time! If it’s Cam who strikes your fancy, just remember you can look at that legendary bubble butt, but you can’t touch! He’s pretty much the epitome of a babyface, but don’t think for an instant that you’ll have some naive kid tucking his napkin in his shirt and asking you to pass the ketchup for his filet mignon. This veteran of nearly every production company across homoerotic and straight-up independent wrestling known to man has seen it all, and if you’re ready to show him his proper respect, I bet he’ll keep the conversation lively with stories from the long road of making a living with a passionate love of wrestling, a hot body, and boyish good looks. If you’re looking for reflections on post-Marxist critical philosophers, Cam may not be your man, because he lives, breathes, eats and drinks nothing but wrestling, my friends. But if it’s every aspect of wrestling from coast to coast, hardbody to doughboy, ring to mat, jobber to heel that will delight you, then you can’t go wrong with picking Cam.
Register your vote at the right. Only one vote per person (this is highly scientific!). Polls close in 2 days. Lobbying for your choice in the comments below is strongly encouraged.