And the nominees are…

The link the the Best of BG East voting disappeared from the BG East homepage, but I swear I saw that you had until Sunday at midnight to cast your ballots.  Hopefully, if you’re still undecided, you still have time.  And hopefully I can offer this voter’s guide and my personal take on the field in a few more categories.  Let’s start today taking a look at the hotly contested and highly controversial Best Body nominees. What makes for “Best Body” has got to be even more subjective than what we evaluate as best body part by body part. Me, I like all sorts of bodies, but when I think “best” I think superior fitness, muscle mass, proportion, symmetry, balance, and that most subjective of them all, beauty.  Here are the contenders for Best Body at BG East in 2014.

kkbody
I’ve been explicitly campaigning for months for Kid Karisma to take the title this year, because, fuck, look! All those qualifiers I mention above as my personal criteria are summed up right here in my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler. He’s also making a play for a Best Butt 3-peat, and I’m slightly aghast that he didn’t get a nomination for Best Abs.
Chacebody
For those who like them brawnier, burlier, hairier and with tweezed eyebrows, Chace LaChance is certain to make a strong showing. Interestingly he’s not a nominee for best butt, bulge or abs, but as a total package, he got the nod to join the field.
zmanbody
Also Best Abs nominee Z-Man took the Best Body title last year, after going down to Rio Garza in 2012. I’ll say it again, Z-Man must have an aging portrait of himself in the attic somewhere, because he’s perpetually gorgeous and in top shape.
Calbody
Cal Bennett’s insurgency into the Best Abs and Best Body categories this year is ballsy and stunnning. He’s appeared in exactly 1 product thus far at BG East, but that was enough to get his liberally inked, stunning physique a nod for Best Bod. See my comments from a couple days ago about his body, honey, and my tongue.
coopbody
Goldenboy Austin Cooper (or Dr. Cooper, depending on the day) is dazzlingly beautiful, proportioned, balanced. That pretty face could possibly distract even his die hard fans from fully appreciating the top contender quality of that body. But probably not.

I haven’t been coy about saying for months Kid Karisma’s phenomenal fitness and picture perfect physique deserve the title of Best Body this year. The total package from top to bottom, front to back, in my opinion. I expect Z-Man to be making the strongest play to be at the head of this pack, possibly with Coop making a dark horse late run. If Cal pulls this out, I’m calling it a major upset and a huge bullseye painted on his finely muscled ass if he ever dares to step foot in the ring with any of his more seasoned and tested contenders.

Now let’s look at some of the match Besties. Selecting a photo to highlight a nominee’s claim to take the title for best-of-match categories is daunting.  What single still frame captures a claim to make an entire match sexiest, or best on the mats? With humility, I’ve attempted to present some of what I think are the best claims for the following two categories, starting with Sexiest Match of 2014.

rookssexy
Cumming out of the gate hot and hard are Kayden Keller and Ty Alexander in their tandem debut in Raunchy Rookies 7. I think it says something significant to have a double debut be featured in the sexiest match contenders. RR7 burned it up, and win, lose or draw, I have to believe there are many more Bestie nominations heading both Kayden and Ty’s way.
drakesexy
I admit to being slightly surprised to see X-Fights 38’s Drake Marcos v LJL and not see Drake and Ty’s Babyface Brawl X in this category. Nevertheless, Drake and LJL were two of the sexiest X-fighters at BGE this year, and their 38 fight was fucking mean and nasty. They hated each other start to finish, which makes it just that much sexier to see how prominently sexual domination became the story.
militarysexy
Military Muscle 2 is another surprise entry here, as far as I’m concerned. Not because I didn’t think it was scorchingly sexy, but because it was far less sexually explicit than other matches that weren’t nominated. That said, MM2 demonstrates that a match doesn’t need to include cock-sucking in order to be blindingly sexy, and rookie Zion Brown’s gasping adoration of Kid Karisma is convincing and compelling.
painsexy
Pasion & Punishment 1 was the first time I sat up and took notice of Trey Dixon. His pairing here with Skrapper is nothing short of epic. Their confrontation is spilling over with raw, balls to the walls lust from the start, and the sexual tension makes my hard drive melt (seriously, I had to buy a new computer). I had to go back and verify that these two didn’t actually fuck on camera, because the sexual aggression is so damn explicit.
darksexy
Dark Knights 11 with Steven Ponce and Ray Dalton is clearly the choice for muscle fetish leather daddies and their stubborn boys. I’m regretting that Dark Knights 12 wasn’t the DK entry in this category, but it’s not hard to see why nominators gave Ray and Steven the nod here.

This category is a major struggle for me to settle on. My blogger v wrestler match with Drake was not nominated, and of course, other than my personal photographs of Drake’s post-match humiliation, you would be hard pressed to be able to make an informed vote our direction (though, take my word for it, it was sexy).  So just looking at those that were nominated, personally, I’m completely torn between Raunchy Rookies 7, X-Fights 38, and Passion & Punishment 1. I know that there are wrestling fans out there that don’t like Skrapper, so I’m guessing Passion & Punishment may be a long shot, but at the end of the day, that’s where my vote goes. I’m also guessing it will be either Raunchy Rookies or X-Fights 38 that may be where the majority goes this time, which I will totally understand. Dark horse in this field I think is Dark Knights 11. I didn’t see a ton of buzz about it, but if the muscle fetish leather daddies snap the collars on all their boys, they’ll double their vote quickly and, potentially swing this their way.

Finally for today I’m taking a look at the Best Mat Battle nominees. This is another extremely tough slate to choose from, but you don’t pay me to dither.  Wait, you don’t pay me at all!  Oh well, onward and upward…

cammat
Submissions 9 with Cameron Matthews grappling with LJL has got to be a front runner in this category. Cam and LJL are major league mat tacticians, and that and about 2 gallons of sweat and some smoldering bitterness make Sub 9 insanely aggressive and the stuff that no one other than a contortionist should try.
drakemat
Passion & Punishment’s match with Drake Marcos and Mason Brooks makes a compelling argument. Two big egos enter the mat room, but one of them crawls on his belly out of the mat room having been actually tagged with a permanent marker to remind him what a consummate jobber he is. As much as I love watching Drake suffer, even I was worried at times in this match that the philosopher king Mason was going to literally break him… which makes a strong case for Best Mat Battle.
masonmat
But then the drama ensues in the Academy, as Mason is going up against himself in this category, also getting the nod for his work against Skrapper in Undagear 22. These are two of the fiercest mat boys on the books right now, and neither of them is going to concede to losing while conscious. Then again, there’s that anti-Skrapper faction out there.
damienmat
I was only slightly shocked to see Damien Rush and Joah Bindao’s Undagear 21 bout appear in this category. Shocked because I don’t think of it as cream of the crop mat work, but only slightly because Damien Rush getting schooled by a petite muscleman acrobat is always going to get attention. I loved the back and forth in this match. Lots of suspense and bruised egos.
kidmat
But if you’re jonesin’ for bruised egos, I’m guessing your choice very well may be Undagear 22’s match between Ray Naylor and Kid Karisma. Ray fucking HATES Kid K, and you get the impression he hates himself just a little for being unable to resist stroking Kid K’s luscious muscles (see my arguments for his Best Body claim). These two put the hurt on each other big time, and you know it was a special match when Kid K treats the loser to a free strip show after all is said and done.
jakemat
As long as Jake Jenkins is wrestling, I predict he will have at least one nomination in the Best Mat Battle category. He’s typically the master of the mats, but he bites off more than he can chew in Gazebo Grapplers 16, facing down big, beautiful newbie Carter Alexander. The outcome of this match is in question to the bitter end, and that end has got to be described as a stunning upset, so little wonder this shows up as a Best Mat Battle nominee.

Fuck, this is another hard choice.  My vote, for what it’s worth, is going to Passion & Punishment’s Drake Marcos versus Mason Brooks. It was that match, and the 3-way interview I conducted with Mason and Drake that ultimately got the whole ball rolling to eventually find myself shutting Drake up with his trunks stuffed down his throat this past Fall. It’s also sweet drama, and watching Mason pick Drake apart, humiliate him worse and worse, strip him naked and leave his indelible mark clearly ignited a ton of fantasy’s-cum-true in me. I’m thinking the favorites in this category may be Cameron and LJL, though, possibly with Ray and Kid K being the dark horse here able deliver an upset.

If you haven’t finished your ballot yet, here’s what the Bard-approved slate of choices looks like:

Best Abs: Lon Dumont

Best Bulge: Pete Sharp

Best Butt: Kid Karisma

Best Body: Kid Karisma

Sexiest Match: Passion &  Punishment 1 – Trey Dixon v Skrapper

Best Mat Battle: Passion & Punishment 1 – Drake Marcos gets owned by Mason Brooks

Thursday Thighs

The weather is turning chilly here, so sightings of bare thighs are getting harder to come by. Happily, there are homoerotic wrestling archives showing off both the sexiest thighs engaged in their sexiest purpose: homoerotic wrestling.  I hope these blogger choice pics warm you up as effectively as they do me!

thighsjosh
The sexiest thighs are for face-to-crotch head scissors – BG East’s Wrestler Spotlight: Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!)
thighsbrett
The sexiest thighs are for snapping arms – Can-Am’s Wrestler for Hire.

 

 

 

 

 

 

thighsmaxx
The sexiest thighs are for (more) crotch-to-face head scissors. BG East’s Gazebo Grapplers 3.

 

thighsdylon
The sexiest thighs are for crushing skulls – BG East’s Wrestle Shack 17.
thighsdev
The sexiest thighs are for milking a trapped-in-the-ropes standing head scissors – BG East’s Hunkbash 14.
thighs
The sexiest thighs are for showing off – BG East’s Bad Dog.
thighsmuscle
The sexiest thighs are for worshipping – Can-Am’s Muscle Match.
thighsaryx
The sexiest thighs are for comparing whose are bigger – BG East’s Wrestler Spotlight: Aryx Quinn.

Summertime and the Livin’ Is Easy

Like fresh picked berries and crotch watching at the beach, BG East’s Summer Sizzler’s releases have become a seasonal treat for me.  I’m a little dizzy from the initial overdose I just subjected myself to, scoping out the preview pics that are part of catalog 99.1, just released.

Boyfriend jobbers Skip and Christian make me think it’s not all bad getting crushed by Morgan Cruise.

Making my eyes water the hardest are the initial shots of Tag Team Torture 16: Boyfriend Beatdown, featuring the combo I’ve been bitching and moaning in anticipation of for years.  Skip Vance and his  real life boyfriend (and former HWOTM) Christian Taylor climb into the ring together for a 2-on-1 battle against heel-risen Morgan Cruise.  Holy shit, this looks insanely hot.  This looks like it’s heading in all the right directions, and I’m a little breathless in anticipation.

Chace LaChance and Braden Charron are RIPPED! 

Speaking of breathless, shocking me just a little are the preview pics of the “Bonus Match” (for ordering all of the Summer Sizzlers) featuring Braden Charron and Chace LaChance both appearing to have physically peaked for the season at precisely the same moment that they climbed into the ring together.  I may have seen Braden this ripped… possibly, but holy hell, I have never seen Chace as put together as this. Fuck. Me. Please.

Who’s Got Whom? Eli Black or Cameron Matthews? 

Mat Hunks 9 is a stand-alone compilation that delivers a pretty perfect 8-pack selection of thirst-quenching hunks such as I’m not sure I’ve seen all on one DVD before.  3-time HWOTM Eli Black looks like he’s got his hands full with former HWOTM Cameron Matthews.  This is a fascinating pairing, I think, and Cameron’s showmanship combined with Eli’s intensity seems like a formula for either disaster or perfection.  I’m voting for perfection.

Rafe Sanchez takes the ride of MY life!

And speaking of perfection, former HWOTM and former and long-running overall favorite homoerotic wrestler of mine, Mitch Colby, snaps those tanned, rock hard thighs around the smooth, sexy head of long, long running infatuation of mine (though never a HWOTM), Rafe Sanchez (mmmmmmmm… Rafe).  These two have appeared in some of the over the top sexiest wrestling I’ve ever enjoyed, so combined, I’m feeling dehydrated just thinking about it.  And I’m not even going to mention the perfection of asses featured in the other two matches on Mat Hunks 9… yet.

Hot, hard muscles turned to jelly.
I will mention that my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy) Lon Dumont is also out in a new product, Knock Outs 2 , appearing back in the day when his head was smoother than Rafe Sanchez’.  The match promises both Lon and his opponent, veteran pro Paul Hudson, get sleepered repeatedly, and the image of lovely, powerful Lon so vulnerable, out cold, is giving me hot flashes!
Mr. Joshua had better watch his back (I’ll keep an eye on his front for him)

Finally, Ring Hunks 1 (how is this only the first of that title!?) throws former overall favorite homoerotic wrestler Mr. Joshua’s massive package headlong into the dangerous machinations of former HWOTM and recent interviewee here, Aryx Quinn.  If anyone can unleash the beast, surely it’s diabolical Aryx!   Right?!  Please!?

Another who’s got whom from Summer Sizzlers: Wrestle Shack 17… my money is on Dylon Robert’s thighs.

So these releases technically fall in the month of May, but there’s no way I can assess them in time for tomorrow’s crowning of a new HWOTM, so they’re officially delayed to join the June releases.  In the mean time, pass me a protein drink.  I’m going in….

Making Jake

Jake Jenkins – 5’7″, 155 lbs.
There are a few more Olympic round robins still to post, but in the mean time I’m starting a new series that’s been on my mind for a while now.  The concept is simple. The prep required is exquisite.  It’s inspired by the sell of a former homoerotic wrestler of the month and regular go-to hunk that never fails to turn me on.  These are the ABC’s of Jake Jenkins.  Just complete the phrase, “Making Jake….”  Here are A through E on my list.  If you have additional photos that illustrate more of the ABC’s of Making Jake, send them along!
Making Jake…
… asphyxiate.
Lean, mean, devastatingly handsome Jayden Mayne is sick and tired of being a whipping boy at BG East, and to prove it, he delights in making Jake asphyxiate.
… bend.

The combo of Jake Jenkins barefoot and in white trunks paired with Kid Karisma in black (and in the ring!!!) is nothing short of genius! Kid Karisma does a stunningly beautiful job of making Jake bend.

… cry.

Jake has gone back and forth with nasty grappler Ethan Andrews, and on more than one occasion the lean, mean Ethan makes Jake cry.

… drowsy.

Jake also has a running feud with the always dangerous 2-time homoerotic wrestler of the month and friend of this blog (well, he talks to me…), Eli Black.  In there’s jock strap matroom sweat bath for BG East, Eli turns all of Jake’s cocky swagger and sculpted muscle into so much mush when he makes Jake drowsy.

… elated!

Jake’s got range, mind you, and it’s not all about making Jake suffer.  Joah Bindao is a hot little package who certainly makes jake work, but when he’s racked, bulging, and helplessly across Jake’s soaking shoulders, Noah can’t help himself but make Jake elated!

…to be continued.

Still-Frame Fantasies

I’ve been working my ass off so hard that the month of May is pretty much a wash when it comes to my favorite past-time: checking out new homoerotic wrestling releases. I’m just throwing in the towel and putting an asterisk in the homoerotic wrestler of the month competition for May 2012. The throne will remain empty for the month.  I have a strong suspicion that there will be a new title holder once June has played out, however. BG East has released Catalog 93, and it’s packed with some of my long time fantasyman crushes as well as more recent infatuations, any one of which could (and most of them have) easily bitchslapped the competition and claim the title. I’m also entranced with the hotness of new Rock Hard wrestler Britboy Will Stanley landing just in time for the queen’s diamond jubilee. Only 5 days into the month and based solely on still-frame fantasies, here are the immediate front runners for June’s title.
Denny Cartier crotch pins Joah Bindao

Denny’s back! Just the photos alone of hot Denny Cartier can tide me over, and in his Gazebo Grapplers 13 appearance he’s looking tastier than ever. Those eyes, that smile, the dimpled chin, wide strong shoulders, gorgeous chest, luscious ass, strong legs, and look at those forearms… all of that and some of the highest quality grappling I love, and Denny could easily be a 2-time homoerotic wrestler of the month. And hot little muscleman Joah Bindao is definitely a rising stock.

Jake Jenkins threatens to dismember Jayden Mayne
Gazebo Grapplers 13 is catching me eye from start to finish, including Jake Jenkins looking possibly hotter than I’ve ever seen. Is it the trunks? Is it that hot, “monkey boy” body? Is it that his eyes looking like he’s about to carve into Thanksgiving turkey as he stares down handsome scrapper, Jayden?  Jake’s done it once and could easily do it again, wrestling his way into another homoerotic wrestler of the month title.
Joshua Goodman’s crotch might choke out Christopher Bruce!

And yet another Gazebo Grapplers 13 match is turning my crank in still-frame! Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) could read the phone book and I’d be off before he got to Aanerud (as long as he’s in nothing but those skimpy white trunks)! I’ve never seen a Mr. Joshua match that fails to make me weak in the knees, and pitting him against perennial powerhouse and sexy thinker Christopher Bruce could easily propel either of these men into the lead.  It seems impossible that Mr. Joshua has not yet owned the title of homoerotic wrestler of the month. Could his Susan Lucci moment arrive in June?

Stinger in trouble from every angle!

My, oh my, Masked Mayhem 7 could be a superhero homoerotic wrestling fantasy for the record books! Lean, sexy Stinger’s partner doesn’t show up, and the brave masked man agrees to face both legendary heel Cage Thunder and his new tag partner, unmistakably menacing long, hard hottie Lightning Rod. Cage Thunder has yet to own the title of homoerotic wrestler of the month on these pages, but could this be the month on the strength of what looks like an astonishingly sexy, brutal double-team?

Skip Vance in agony under the control of Kid Karisma

Speaking of astonishingly sexy, the pairing of incredibly hot champion jobber, Skip Vance and my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy division), Kid Karisma, has the potential to be epic! I’ve lobbied the boys at BG East for a long-overdue Wrestler Spotlight starring Kid K’s world class muscle ass! Skip hasn’t held the title, but Kid K was living large and in charge as homoerotic wrestler of the month 11 months ago. Either of these stunners could easily own it this month.

Fiercely hot newbie Diego Diaz launches Morgan Cruise
Neither Morgan Cruise nor newbie heartthrob Diego Diaz have held the homoerotic wrestler of the month title yet, but I could easily see their face-off for Morgan’s Spotlight earning one of them the distinction for June. Hurricane Morgan is like a force of nature lately, leveling every hot, hunky face placed in his way. And ripped, snarling, Latino powerhouse Diego has captured my imagination like no current newcomer. It’s a rare feat to be homoerotic wrestler of the month on the strength of just 2 matches, but the Latino giant could definitely make that happen.

Mitch Colby makes batboy Aryx Qinn pucker up
Mitch Colby has owned every title I could ever dream up. If Mitch and Diego Diaz were to ever tag team,   my life could very well be complete. In the mean time, his hairy chested, sweat soaked ring pounding with Aryx Quinn makes Mitch an instant contender for a 2nd trip to the winner’s circle.
Austin sweats through his jock while he shows off Patrick Donovan’s best side.

Austin Cooper is everywhere lately! For sheer ironman hotness (not to mention Goldenboy beauty and a top notch bubble butt) Austin is a contender for the title he has yet to possess. And Patrick Donovan is an instant contender, and I strongly suspect that Patrick has made a pact with Satan, because he’s done nothing but get sexier and more gorgeous with each and every match he’s wrestled in his long and lustrous career! That ass alone deserves a title, and he could absolutely deserve the homoerotic wrestler of the month title for his Matmen 23 face-off with the Goldenboy.

Austin does chiropractic work on Britboy rookie Will Stanley.

And my last instant infatuation for the first 5 days of June is Rock Hard Wrestling’s rookie lovely, Will Stanley. See, Austin’s back (making for 2 nominations for the title this month), but like Joe, I’m immediately craving a closer look at handsome, ripped hunk Will Stanley. That body, that ink, that face, AND an accent? Nostalgia alone could tip the scales to Will Stanley, Esquire, in honor of the queen’s diamond jubilee.

Hot, hot, hot start to summer, homoerotic wrestling fans!