Thursday Thighs

The weather is turning chilly here, so sightings of bare thighs are getting harder to come by. Happily, there are homoerotic wrestling archives showing off both the sexiest thighs engaged in their sexiest purpose: homoerotic wrestling.  I hope these blogger choice pics warm you up as effectively as they do me!

The sexiest thighs are for face-to-crotch head scissors – BG East’s Wrestler Spotlight: Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!)
The sexiest thighs are for snapping arms – Can-Am’s Wrestler for Hire.







The sexiest thighs are for (more) crotch-to-face head scissors. BG East’s Gazebo Grapplers 3.


The sexiest thighs are for crushing skulls – BG East’s Wrestle Shack 17.
The sexiest thighs are for milking a trapped-in-the-ropes standing head scissors – BG East’s Hunkbash 14.
The sexiest thighs are for showing off – BG East’s Bad Dog.
The sexiest thighs are for worshipping – Can-Am’s Muscle Match.
The sexiest thighs are for comparing whose are bigger – BG East’s Wrestler Spotlight: Aryx Quinn.

Playing God

I’ve been thinking about friends and family on the East Coast and hoping that everyone is surviving the aftermath of Hurricane Irene. AH emailed me this morning from his smart phone to let me know that he’s been without power for 24 hours and amusing himself with the mental game of assembling his ideal wrestler’s body from the component parts of many different wrestlers. In honor of AH and everyone mopping up from that messy bitch, Irene, I decided to quickly put together a post playing AH’s game of ordering up my ideal wrestler’s body a la carte.

Turns out, this is one tough game to play! I set out for myself the task of choosing no more than one body part from any one wrestler. Then I went to scouring my mental and literal library of homoerotic wrestling favorites to decide who to deconstruct in order to reconstruct into the assemblage of an over the top, made to order homoerotic wrestling god. I spun my wheels for quite a while getting a start on this project. There are so many wrestlers who I think of as possessing physical perfection, but many of them don’t necessarily possess the perfect singular body part divorced from the rest. But body part by body part, this is what I came up with:

For some reason, it worked for me to start from the bottom and work my way up my mad scientist construction of the ideal wrestling body. My Frankenstein’s monster of physical wrestling perfection has Troy Baker’s legs. Troy was in the running for nearly every body part, frankly, but it was Troy’s own love his legs that made me single them out for this recipe.  Thick and hard without a whisper of body fat, Troy’s legs were simply perfection, as far as I’m concerned. When he had Nick Archer’s noggin’ trapped between his crushing thighs, Troy looked like he was just about to cum with delight in the overpowering beauty of his dominating power. Though Troy did not literally cum in that moment, I’m certain that I’m not alone when I say that I certainly did, and have repeatedly, in worshipful lust for Troy’s unbelievable legs.

Hanging between my assembled wrestling’s god’s ripped thighs is Brian Maxon’s cock and balls. Between you and me, Brian Maxon’s wrestling usually left me a little uninspired. His cock, however, once unsheathed and getting worshipped by the loser he conquered on the mats, was pretty nearly my impression of phallic perfection. There are most certainly longer wrestling cocks, and a few thicker, but Brian’s cock was a perfectly proportioned monster that demanded to be be worshipped.

Spin my cut-n-paste wrestling god around and you’ll get a sight of the most gorgeous homoerotic wrestling glutes on the planet, which actually belong and fit so beautifully on the body of  Kid Karisma. Quite literally, I’ve put in a pitch for a wrestler spotlight DVD that stars Kid K’s ass, specifically. Somewhere (I can’t put my finger on the text at the moment… I think Joe wrote it), I saw Kid K described as a Tom of Finland drawing come to life. It’s the ass that makes that statement 110% true (see recent posts regarding my mathematical shortcomings).

Allowing our eyes to wander upward from Kid K’s perfect ass, we would find on my assembly of a made-to-order wrestling god the back of Brett Mycles. A thickly muscled back is a thing of wonder. I’ve seen some inspiring pec frottage, but I’m still looking for a scene of a wrestler working out an ecstatic explosion in the deep cravasse between the mountainous bulges of a muscled back like Brett’s. The aesthetics of a narrow, corded lower back beneath an astonishingly wide and contoured lat spread capped off by thick delt and trap muscles is just about the most beautiful thing in the world, I think.

Again, let’s spin my wrestling creation around now to take a look at the front, where he’s sporting Rafe Sanchez’ abdominal muscles. I’ve ranted a bit before (perhaps unfairly) about comments in a discussion group that referred disparagingly to Rafe’s body as “not the best.” I couldn’t disagree more, not in total, and most certainly not when it comes to the marble sculpture that are his abdominals and obliques. Add a cup of water and a squirt of detergent and I swear to you it would require not more than three passes to get your laundry clean on that washboard! The separation between each scale of that armor is superhuman. I’d want no one else’s ripped to shreds core on my wrestling god assemblage.

As our eyes wander upward from Rafe’s rocking abs, we’ll see the luscious pecs of Darius. Choosing whose pecs to add to my homoerotic wrestling god was perhaps the most difficult selection of all. If I hadn’t already cannibalized Troy Baker’s legs, his pecs very well could’ve beat out Darius’. As it is though, it’s Darius’ monster pecs that made the shortlist. Hot. Damn.

Shoulders were another tough call for me, but I decided that my homoerotic wrestling god of my own creation will have Wade Cutler’s delts. The mountainous, angular boulders that were Wade’s shoulders always completely captivated me, and they still do today as I treasure the moments where Wade shows up in my library of homoerotic wrestling. Massive, wide, veiny shoulders are intensely erotic, not to mention damn useful in a fierce wrestling contest. My wrestling god compilation sports the best shoulders I could think of.

Again, arms were difficult to select, owing to the deep field of worthy applicants. I’m giving a nod to rookie beauty, Thiago Diaz, however, because his arms are stunning.  With arms it’s certainly not all about size. Shape, proportion, balance and definition speak to me more when it comes to arms than blunt size. Thiago’s bulging biceps and massively thick forearms are entirely worthy additions to the wrestling god of my creation.

Finally, capping off the physical perfection of my wrestling god creation is the devastatingly handsome face of Brad Rochelle. Brad was in a barnburner of a race against exactly one other gorgeously handsome homoerotic wrestling hunk to lend his face to my creation. It was the cleft chin that just 5 seconds ago made me select Brad’s perfect visage.

Of course, this ideal homoerotic wrestling body I’ve just created requires some extensive smoothing and adjusting to match up size, complexion, and proportion. And I’m already thinking that, while this fits my “Muscle Worshipper” type that I scored highest on in yesterday’s quiz from Manof1000Holds, an equally perfect body would be made of entirely different parts to construct my idea of perfection when it comes to a pretty boy (okay, some of the same parts would certainly apply), or a bad boy.

Excellent exercise, AH! I hope you’re managing to keep yourself entertained as you wait for the power to come back on. So whose parts would comprise your ideal homoerotic wrestler?

Asses Named

So how did you do with yesterday’s installment of “Name That Ass?” These are 4 of the very top tier favorite asses in homoerotic wrestling, for my tastes. Wait. Did I say 4!? Yes, yes indeed. I’m am the sort of teacher that throws in trick questions.
Ass #1:
You got that one, right? This was from relatively early in Brad’s homoerotic wrestling career, with his body majorly chiseled and tanned, and with glutes of steel. His opponent here in Ultra Fight 2 is hottie Scottie Williams, who is also a major daddy turn-on for me. My favorite part of Scott’s body: that fantastically hot, hard, hairy chest.
Ass #2:
As so often happens, I’d pulled up Brett’s ass moments before I saw that Joe had posted an homage to Brett Mycles over at Ringside at Skull Island. I swear, my subconscious and Joe’s have got to have a time-share together somewhere. These particular shots of Brett’s incomparable muscle ass come from his Wrestler for Hire match against Tony Z.
Ass #4… (this was the tricky one):

True enough, this was a trick question, with Brad showing up twice in this week’s game. But there’s so much Brad goodness to go around, and there are just never too many angles to admire on his legendary homoerotic wrestling physique. The shot  of his bare glutes, aided by KL giving beaten Brad a nasty wedgie, come from Brad’s Contract 3 match-up with then teacher’s pet, Aryx Quinn.
Ass #4:
For admirers of Chris’ shapely, round glutes (like me), you’ve got to own his big “comeback” match against the pit bull that is Cole Cassidy in Demolition 10. Cole obliterates the laws of physics with his torturous assault on the fabric of Chris’ trunks. Chris’ ass is wedgied so high I think you can catch a glimpse of those red trunks if you look closely down his throat when he’s screaming in pain. My last clue, that this hunk can speak Spanish, was a little naughty of me. You probably don’t think of Chris, first and foremost, as a Spanish-speaker. But I love the reveal of this trivial little detail in Chris’ mat match over at Can-Am against Mexican male model, Rio Garza for Hollywood Mat Battle 1. At one point, Chris unleashes some Spanish on Rio’s ass in between falls. Rio looks confused, like he’s not sure whether he should answer back in Spanish. Chris taunts him, and I’m in love with this bilingual homoerotic wrestling hunk veteran that much more!
And speaking of bilingual… Ass #5:
… was apparently not bilingual at all: Philippe Nicolas.
This hard bodybuilder appeared in exactly one match for Can-Am, Wolff’s World, and that’s exactly what it took to make me a desperate fanatic. Good God, that man’s body is unbelievably gorgeous. Handsome as hell. Muscles for days. Full-on naked wrestling in his one and only homoerotic wrestling outing. He dishes out some intensity as well as he takes it from another icon, Mark Wolff. It’s a tragedy of epic proportions that Philippe was a one-hit-wonder. Ah, but still, what a mind-numbing, sexy wonder he was.
No one played on line, but I hope you were playing along at home. Still, no one gets any gold stars or smiley faces, because you forgot to show your work. Keep studying. There will be more quizzes for you to show your stuff.