Independence Day

I typically take the time around the 4th of July to point out my lack of patriotism. But this year feels different. I know that I’m not the only one who feels a little more like a proud American this 4th of July. Such a major, seismic shift on marriage equality certainly doesn’t protect everyone’s rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, of course. LGBT Americans can legally be fired, denied housing, harrassed by both public and private authorities in a whole lot of places in this country still. But access to marriage is pretty cool.

Adam Battle from Can-Am’s Power Match 6-Pack

I’ve been fascinated to watch the strong and conflicting opinions the SCOTUS decision has sparked among my friends and colleagues, who, generally speaking, tend to pitch their tents in the same political camp. Straight people shamed for flying the rainbow flag. White gays shamed for celebrating marriage while people of color and trans folks are continuing to get fucked up and gunned down. Marriage advocates shamed for distracting us all from other problems like poverty and racism and gun violence and sexism.

Brad Rochelle from BG East’s Fantasymen 20.

I’ve got my own opinions, of course, but I have to say that I can’t help but be pleased that we’re talking a little more openly about a lot of things that ought to be complicated and unsettled. I confess a little thrill that bigots are feeling compelled to have to state their bigotry and try to rationalize it as something else, rather than just silently assuming that they’re the moral majority. And I really like that a lot of people I know who have long assumed that we all think alike are realizing that one particular decision or policy or issue that we all may endorse to some extent doesn’t erase the rich diversity of who we are, what we value, where our priorities lie, and how we think.

Brendan Byers from BG East’s Florida Fights 1

It’s not uncommon in homoerotic wrestling to see American flag wrestling trunks. This gear typically signals that the wearer is a babyface hero, handsome, virile, and virtuous. And in the homoerotic wrestling matches I watch, those guys get their stars and stripes clad asses handed to them 9 times out of 10. Not always, I know, but most of the time.

BG East's Military Muscle 2
BG East’s Military Muscle 2

The hunks in American flag trunks most often embody a naivete, a simple minded faith in things like hard work, strength, and sincerity to tip the scales of wrestling competition and justice their way. Their virginal earnestness is saccharine sweet, a glossy glaze over the realities of the homoerotic wrestling ring where things aren’t always (or even often) fair. Their wide-eyed, muscle bulging innocence seems to make them blind to a world where cheating, unsportsmanlike behavior, and ferocious mercilessness more often than not spank the ass of righteous, rule-abiding reverence for an honest battle of strength and skill.

BG East’s Ringwars 5

I don’t know if this trope still plays the same way in mainstream pro wrestling (because I haven’t watched mainstream pro wrestling in forever), but I think it’s a particularly engaging narrative for homoerotic wrestling audiences. We know that survival often goes not to the fittest, but the most cunning. We know that when the rules are stacked against you, sometimes the most appropriate response is to fuck the rules. We know that often our most important assets in the battle against those who revile and oppress us behind a veneer or virtue and righteous indignation is to turn the repulsion right back around on them, to throw what they despise most in their faces, to metaphorically grab them by the balls until their self-righteous, “hard earned” privilege and power melts into weeping, impotent, contemptible helplessness.

BG East’s Wrestlefest 3

Because more often than not, it isn’t their righteousness that has propelled them forward in good fortune. It isn’t their hard work. They haven’t just wanted success more, as if their will power is superior to those who haven’t prospered and been rewarded as much. It’s just those fucking rules that have made the difference, that have been slowly (sometimes quickly) tipping the scales their way from the moment they were born, that have advantaged them not because they earned it or deserved it, but just because they were born into families with a particular hue and history, because they effortlessly found their affections drawn in the socially acceptable direction, because they had that silver spoon in their mouths all along. So, many of us with an eye for homoerotic wrestling have learned that it’s those fucking rules that are the problem, and watching a homoerotic wrestling heel fuck the rules and humiliate a stars and stripes clad goldenboy is deep down satisfying.

BG East’s The Contract 8

I’m sure there’s much more to the American flag jobber narrative than that, but what I’m left wondering this year is whether my new found investment in my citizenship, riding this wave of judicial victory and the turning tide of public opinion, may make me, and perhaps you, a little less cynical about the American flag. I’m sure it won’t happen anytime soon, but is there a place in homoerotic wrestling iconography somewhere down the road for a sneering, contemptuous, irrepressible heel decked out in stars and stripes? Might finding myself embracing a little patriotric pride for being welcomed a little more into the fold of mainstream America shift my tastes for enjoying the sight of the American flag, strapped to the ass of an classically hot pretty boy, trampled and trashed for the poor excuse for institutional oppression it has so long seemed to me to represent? May I want to see an American patriot savvy and sly, queer and cunning, as vicious and vile as necessary to pound… who?… into tantalizingly sexy mincemeat?

BG East’s Austin Cooper Wrestler Spotlight 2

In some ways I hope so.

BG East’s Backyard Brawls 6

In many ways, I hope not.

BG East’s Boston to Austin 2
BG’s Badboys 1
BG East’s Lon Dumont Wrestler Spotlight

And the nominees are…

The link the the Best of BG East voting disappeared from the BG East homepage, but I swear I saw that you had until Sunday at midnight to cast your ballots.  Hopefully, if you’re still undecided, you still have time.  And hopefully I can offer this voter’s guide and my personal take on the field in a few more categories.  Let’s start today taking a look at the hotly contested and highly controversial Best Body nominees. What makes for “Best Body” has got to be even more subjective than what we evaluate as best body part by body part. Me, I like all sorts of bodies, but when I think “best” I think superior fitness, muscle mass, proportion, symmetry, balance, and that most subjective of them all, beauty.  Here are the contenders for Best Body at BG East in 2014.

I’ve been explicitly campaigning for months for Kid Karisma to take the title this year, because, fuck, look! All those qualifiers I mention above as my personal criteria are summed up right here in my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler. He’s also making a play for a Best Butt 3-peat, and I’m slightly aghast that he didn’t get a nomination for Best Abs.
For those who like them brawnier, burlier, hairier and with tweezed eyebrows, Chace LaChance is certain to make a strong showing. Interestingly he’s not a nominee for best butt, bulge or abs, but as a total package, he got the nod to join the field.
Also Best Abs nominee Z-Man took the Best Body title last year, after going down to Rio Garza in 2012. I’ll say it again, Z-Man must have an aging portrait of himself in the attic somewhere, because he’s perpetually gorgeous and in top shape.
Cal Bennett’s insurgency into the Best Abs and Best Body categories this year is ballsy and stunnning. He’s appeared in exactly 1 product thus far at BG East, but that was enough to get his liberally inked, stunning physique a nod for Best Bod. See my comments from a couple days ago about his body, honey, and my tongue.
Goldenboy Austin Cooper (or Dr. Cooper, depending on the day) is dazzlingly beautiful, proportioned, balanced. That pretty face could possibly distract even his die hard fans from fully appreciating the top contender quality of that body. But probably not.

I haven’t been coy about saying for months Kid Karisma’s phenomenal fitness and picture perfect physique deserve the title of Best Body this year. The total package from top to bottom, front to back, in my opinion. I expect Z-Man to be making the strongest play to be at the head of this pack, possibly with Coop making a dark horse late run. If Cal pulls this out, I’m calling it a major upset and a huge bullseye painted on his finely muscled ass if he ever dares to step foot in the ring with any of his more seasoned and tested contenders.

Now let’s look at some of the match Besties. Selecting a photo to highlight a nominee’s claim to take the title for best-of-match categories is daunting.  What single still frame captures a claim to make an entire match sexiest, or best on the mats? With humility, I’ve attempted to present some of what I think are the best claims for the following two categories, starting with Sexiest Match of 2014.

Cumming out of the gate hot and hard are Kayden Keller and Ty Alexander in their tandem debut in Raunchy Rookies 7. I think it says something significant to have a double debut be featured in the sexiest match contenders. RR7 burned it up, and win, lose or draw, I have to believe there are many more Bestie nominations heading both Kayden and Ty’s way.
I admit to being slightly surprised to see X-Fights 38’s Drake Marcos v LJL and not see Drake and Ty’s Babyface Brawl X in this category. Nevertheless, Drake and LJL were two of the sexiest X-fighters at BGE this year, and their 38 fight was fucking mean and nasty. They hated each other start to finish, which makes it just that much sexier to see how prominently sexual domination became the story.
Military Muscle 2 is another surprise entry here, as far as I’m concerned. Not because I didn’t think it was scorchingly sexy, but because it was far less sexually explicit than other matches that weren’t nominated. That said, MM2 demonstrates that a match doesn’t need to include cock-sucking in order to be blindingly sexy, and rookie Zion Brown’s gasping adoration of Kid Karisma is convincing and compelling.
Pasion & Punishment 1 was the first time I sat up and took notice of Trey Dixon. His pairing here with Skrapper is nothing short of epic. Their confrontation is spilling over with raw, balls to the walls lust from the start, and the sexual tension makes my hard drive melt (seriously, I had to buy a new computer). I had to go back and verify that these two didn’t actually fuck on camera, because the sexual aggression is so damn explicit.
Dark Knights 11 with Steven Ponce and Ray Dalton is clearly the choice for muscle fetish leather daddies and their stubborn boys. I’m regretting that Dark Knights 12 wasn’t the DK entry in this category, but it’s not hard to see why nominators gave Ray and Steven the nod here.

This category is a major struggle for me to settle on. My blogger v wrestler match with Drake was not nominated, and of course, other than my personal photographs of Drake’s post-match humiliation, you would be hard pressed to be able to make an informed vote our direction (though, take my word for it, it was sexy).  So just looking at those that were nominated, personally, I’m completely torn between Raunchy Rookies 7, X-Fights 38, and Passion & Punishment 1. I know that there are wrestling fans out there that don’t like Skrapper, so I’m guessing Passion & Punishment may be a long shot, but at the end of the day, that’s where my vote goes. I’m also guessing it will be either Raunchy Rookies or X-Fights 38 that may be where the majority goes this time, which I will totally understand. Dark horse in this field I think is Dark Knights 11. I didn’t see a ton of buzz about it, but if the muscle fetish leather daddies snap the collars on all their boys, they’ll double their vote quickly and, potentially swing this their way.

Finally for today I’m taking a look at the Best Mat Battle nominees. This is another extremely tough slate to choose from, but you don’t pay me to dither.  Wait, you don’t pay me at all!  Oh well, onward and upward…

Submissions 9 with Cameron Matthews grappling with LJL has got to be a front runner in this category. Cam and LJL are major league mat tacticians, and that and about 2 gallons of sweat and some smoldering bitterness make Sub 9 insanely aggressive and the stuff that no one other than a contortionist should try.
Passion & Punishment’s match with Drake Marcos and Mason Brooks makes a compelling argument. Two big egos enter the mat room, but one of them crawls on his belly out of the mat room having been actually tagged with a permanent marker to remind him what a consummate jobber he is. As much as I love watching Drake suffer, even I was worried at times in this match that the philosopher king Mason was going to literally break him… which makes a strong case for Best Mat Battle.
But then the drama ensues in the Academy, as Mason is going up against himself in this category, also getting the nod for his work against Skrapper in Undagear 22. These are two of the fiercest mat boys on the books right now, and neither of them is going to concede to losing while conscious. Then again, there’s that anti-Skrapper faction out there.
I was only slightly shocked to see Damien Rush and Joah Bindao’s Undagear 21 bout appear in this category. Shocked because I don’t think of it as cream of the crop mat work, but only slightly because Damien Rush getting schooled by a petite muscleman acrobat is always going to get attention. I loved the back and forth in this match. Lots of suspense and bruised egos.
But if you’re jonesin’ for bruised egos, I’m guessing your choice very well may be Undagear 22’s match between Ray Naylor and Kid Karisma. Ray fucking HATES Kid K, and you get the impression he hates himself just a little for being unable to resist stroking Kid K’s luscious muscles (see my arguments for his Best Body claim). These two put the hurt on each other big time, and you know it was a special match when Kid K treats the loser to a free strip show after all is said and done.
As long as Jake Jenkins is wrestling, I predict he will have at least one nomination in the Best Mat Battle category. He’s typically the master of the mats, but he bites off more than he can chew in Gazebo Grapplers 16, facing down big, beautiful newbie Carter Alexander. The outcome of this match is in question to the bitter end, and that end has got to be described as a stunning upset, so little wonder this shows up as a Best Mat Battle nominee.

Fuck, this is another hard choice.  My vote, for what it’s worth, is going to Passion & Punishment’s Drake Marcos versus Mason Brooks. It was that match, and the 3-way interview I conducted with Mason and Drake that ultimately got the whole ball rolling to eventually find myself shutting Drake up with his trunks stuffed down his throat this past Fall. It’s also sweet drama, and watching Mason pick Drake apart, humiliate him worse and worse, strip him naked and leave his indelible mark clearly ignited a ton of fantasy’s-cum-true in me. I’m thinking the favorites in this category may be Cameron and LJL, though, possibly with Ray and Kid K being the dark horse here able deliver an upset.

If you haven’t finished your ballot yet, here’s what the Bard-approved slate of choices looks like:

Best Abs: Lon Dumont

Best Bulge: Pete Sharp

Best Butt: Kid Karisma

Best Body: Kid Karisma

Sexiest Match: Passion &  Punishment 1 – Trey Dixon v Skrapper

Best Mat Battle: Passion & Punishment 1 – Drake Marcos gets owned by Mason Brooks

Yes, Sir!

I’ve been way out of commission for a while now, but I see that BG East is already uploading preview pics for their next catalog.  So I’m thinking I’d better say what I need to say about #105, because once #106 goes live I’ll be totally infatuated and distracted by the newest shiny thing to catch my eye (and I can already tell that will include Richie Douglas and Ray Naylor).  But there are a couple more matches that I simply must commend to your attention, if somehow you’ve managed to miss them.

Kid Karisma doesn’t have to tell Zion Brown twice.


There are several products at BG East that don’t turn into series of their own.  I thought Military Muscle was one of those, considering the long absence of rock hard, massively armed forces battling for world domination in a might-makes-right genre (damn, that sounds like a natural for homoerotic wrestling!). But apparently ripped rookie Zion Brown showed up on BG East’s doorstep shortly after completing his tour of duty and struggling to figure out how to capitalize on that stunningly trained physique that military service gave him, and there was nowhere to go but Military Muscle 2. I don’t know what branch of service Zion survived, but he certainly embraced the whole chain-of-command, because when my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler comes in barking like a drill sergeant and spitting out orders, you can see the switch flip in Zion’s head. The stunningly built fighting machine practically falls over himself in a knee jerk impulse to obey a superior officer. Kid Karisma pushes every basic training button, and Zion follows orders with a passion.  And speaking of passion, when Kid K orders the stud to remove his superior’s vest, damn it all if Zion isn’t clearly intoxicated by the mass of carved muscle and dominating, domineering attitude demanding to be serviced. The rook leans in close, smelling Kid K’s neck, letting his fingers linger on the gorgeous heel’s tiny, ripped waist and massive, meaty pecs. It’s about time an opponent acknowledged what I’ve been saying for years: Kid Karisma is one stunningly sexy slice of homoerotic wrestling heaven!

Military discipline: the stocks.


Kid Karisma tags and bags rookie Zion long before he every lays a finger on him.  The mind games are delightful to witness, taking what Uncle Sam has molded into obedient putty and transforming a magnificently muscled hunk into a sadist’s plaything (which is pretty much my impression of military service in general).  If you cannot get rocked by a one-sided squash, steer clear, because this is not a narrative built on suspenseful anticipation of who will end up on top.  However, MM2 tells a sweetly, sweaty, provocative story of a physical and mental test of endurance, as earnestly eager Zion struggles to prove that he can take the brutal, intimate demands of competing in the BG East ring. It’s an “I can take everything you can dish out” challenge, and those of us who follow Kid K closely know that this red-headed powerhouse can dish out boatloads. Kid K has convinced him that Zion must prove himself to Kid K, he must demonstrate he’s tough enough, strong enough, and passionate enough to deliver what BG East fans hunger for.  It isn’t precisely that Zion doesn’t put up a fight, but the drama here is the internal battle Zion fights to endure the brutal torture that his sneering, muscle clad initiator delivers.

Everyone’s a winner!


Does Kid Karisma actually possess the actual authority to grant the rookie this rite of passage into the ranks of BG East battlers?  I don’t know, but I wouldn’t put it past the Karismatic one to overstate his influence. Then again, this is yet one more in a long, long line of matches in which Kid K sports a direct homage to The Boss himself, this time wearing extremely tantalizing undergear with “Leopard” stitched across the waistband. Is this just another mind game from the ginger heel, or does he actually have Kid Leopard’s papal seal of approval to grant (or refuse) the wishes of a randy young hopeful? As a longstanding Kid K devotee, I’m simply believing what the marble muscle man says, and so does Zion. And, just like me, Zion is hardly unenthusiastic about the straights Kid K places him in.  Seriously, there are many rookies who, their first time out of the gates, keep the homoerotic subtext to a low simmer, I’m assuming out of self-consciousness. Even hunks who return to steam up the screen with explicit sexual content often start relatively subdued.  If this is subdued for Zion, however, I’m pre-ordering every subsequent release the kid puts out.  He cannot keep his hands off of Karisma’s multi-award winning ass, again building incredibly moving empathy between me and the rook. When Kid K grinds his crotch into Zion’s face, doing push-ups over him and slowly swiveling his hips, pressing his package seductively across the rookie’s lips, you can hear nothing but grunts of pleasure from the enthusiastically puckered up newbie. Holy fuck, how these two hunks compliment one another!

A work of art: Kid Karisma crushes Zion, body and soul.


Kid Karisma is pretty much every moment of this match an awesome work of art.  Physically, he’s unbelievably stunning. I’m officially promoting my appeal for you to vote for Kid K for best body in BG East’s year end polls (due out soon, I’m expecting!), and if you need evidence, put MM2 on slo-mo and watch those gorgeous muscles flex and glisten.  Look for an ounce of body fat. I dare you.  Study the road map that is Kid K’s incredible vascularity pulsing visibly beneath the surface of his skin, shoved stunningly to the surface by nothing but steel muscles bulging underneath. I think my next campaign is going to be to beg and plead for a Kid K Wrestle Worship release. Watching lucky Zion sneak strokes and squeezes of those gargantuan thighs, glorious glutes, powerful pecs, and peaked biceps is so fucking tantalizing! Can you imagine if this was a more competitive, but no less enthusiastically muscle-worshipping scenario!?

Kid Karisma deeply appreciates Zion’s meaty pecs.


My infatuation with Kid Karisma should not discount in any way the absolutely fantastic physique of his trainee, Zion. The proportions on this kid are mind boggling. His upper body is more massive and defined than his legs, but perhaps experiencing the full on Kid K treatment may inspire him to double down on leg days.  His torso, however, is like a comic book superhero, incredibly tiny waist, ripped abs, awesome V-back swelling to massive shoulders. Kid K clearly appreciates the rook’s form, but of course he shows it by digging his fingers deep into the kid’s beefy pecs. But again, there’s a genius to Zion that belies his subordination: his groans of agony sound identical to groans of ecstasy. The master’s muscle torture transports Zion to both hell and heaven simultaneously, if I’m reading that look of anguished pleasure on his face right. He holds out forever, sucking down Kid K’s torturous ways, binging on the heel’s psychological brutality, getting absolutely drunk off of his own devastated humiliation. I hope and pray to the homoerotic wrestling gods that we see this incredibly handsome specimen’s offense someday soon, because there’s just so much fucking potential in seeing this hunk’s trajectory from match to match.

Pucker up!


Clearly, I’m certainly impressed with Zion Brown. Kid K is none-too-quick to admit it, but even he acknowledges some well-earned respect for the way, way outmatched rookie by the time Kid K is done doing absolutely everything he can think of to crush the will to stay in the ring out of him.  And for the record, Zion’s lips enthusiastically visit a whole lot of geography that I believe needs to be much more thoroughly, orally explored in future Kid K wrestling matches, because the insanely sexy body of my reigning favorite needs to receive this type of appreciation from many more opponents. I know for a fact there are BG East wrestlers who would love to deliver exactly that. From the look on the Karismatic one’s face, I feel confident that he’s certainly not opposed. And I can name one particular blogger-fan who is already whipped into a lather just anticipating it.