I’m enjoying a rare opporuntity I have to thumb through my archives and pull out some homoerotic wrestling gems that I didn’t have time to fully appreciate when I got my hands on them in busier days. Take, for example, BG East’s Matmen 23, featuring two friends of this blog, Kid Karisma and Skip Vance, making sweet, sweet music in a certain Florida sunroom.
|Kid Karisma can’t wait to get his hands on Skip’s “cute” hair.|
“Um, elementary school is the other block,” Kid Karisma smirks when achingly adorable Skip Vance struts onto the mat with an eager grin stretched ear-to-ear. Despite Skip giving up 35 pounds to his muscle bulging opponent, it’s not hard to understand that big smile. I know of dozens of fans who would stand in line all night for some alone time with Kid K’s muscles. Sure, you have to assume Skip knows he’s going to get bashed. In addition to being one of the best jobbers on the planet (I’m buying anything and everything this boy sells!), he also clearly gets major kicks out of taking a beating. All arrows are aligned in one direction that entirely explains Skip’s shit-eating grin: Kid K’s stunning body, soul-crushing ego, and erotically charged wrestling style are perfectly tuned to Skip’s fondest fantasies.
|Kid K puts Skip in one compromising position after another|
“You think I’m scared of you, big boy!?” Skip laughs. “Do I look scared!?” No, Skip does not look scared. Skip’s charm is exactly that. Look vulnerable? Absolutely. Mouthwatering? Definitely. Scared? Not for an instant. When Kid K refuses to take him seriously, Skip dials up the heat another notch. “Are you ready to get your ass beaten?”
|Skip’s got Kid K right where he wants him!|
Yep, I’m with Skip. It’s hard to consider a Kid Karisma match for more than about 5 seconds before remarking on his ass. It is AMAZING. It’s almost certainly the glimpse of that thong underneath his trunks, visible where his ass crack cannot be covered by the outmatched black fabric, that makes Skip blurt out in the middle of his beating, “Fuck you, dude! If you wasn’t so sexy…” What, Skip? You’d enjoy the complete demolition you’re suffering a shade less? But more pertinently, I find it highly erotic and refreshing for wrestlers to acknowledge the cold/hot, hard facts, like saying out loud the most obvious-yet-unspoken fact that Kid Karisma is wildly sexy!
|“Scream LOUDER, boy!”|
For all his ego crushing taunting, Kid K points out his own highly erotic facts, as well, referring to achingly adorable, innocent-looking Skip as incredibly “cute.” Of course, Kid K says the word “cute” with a lip-curling sneer and seems to feed off of his contempt for adorability to fuel an incredibly hot session of complete, humiliating domination. “Scream louder!” he demands at one point, with his rugby thighs squeezing tightly around Skip’s narrow waist. “Scream LOUDER, boy!!!” he roars, bearing down harder with his scissors and crushing out Skip’s wailing obedience.
|“Can you see these abs, or is my cock in the way?”|
Skip spends a whole lot of time flat on his back in repeated Kid Karisma schoolboy pins. In the 3rd (or 20th) time, Kid K flexes his gorgeous guns and then runs his fingers down his washboard. “Can you see these abs, or is my cock in the way!?,” he asks before crawling his hands forward across the mat and grinding his crotch into Skip’s trapped face. Feel sorry for Skip? Don’t. Most moments like this, even when he’s clearly choking on the pain, that shit-eating grin is still plastered across the lucky kid’s face. “Kid’s these days,” Kid K marvels at Skip’s obvious relish for soaking up punishment.
|Skip momentarily obeys|
It’s not a 100% Kid Karisma offensive match. After Skip obeys his opponent’s command to peel off Kid K’s black trunks to reveal the “surprise” underneath (packaged in a leopard print thong), Skip reaches up and claws the karismatic one’s pouch viciously, bringing the bully to his knees in agony. Skip still has enough in his tanks to put the pedal to the metal and make the most of Kid K’s breathlessness. He folds him up in a gorgeous ass-to-ceiling small package, pinning Kid K’s ankles to the mat above his head. “Is that all you got now!?” Skip demands, delighting in spanking that glorious ass. “You smell that, fucker!?” he snarls, grinding his crotch in Kid K’s face in retribution for the karismatic indignities suffered earlier.
|“I said LOOK!”|
This match opens up a fascinating side to Kid Karisma that I haven’t noticed before. It was probably there all along, but it didn’t grab me before this match. Kid K wants, nay, needs to have a witness to his stunning beauty and power. “Look at this,” he demands in yet another schoolboy pin, flexing his powerful biceps. Skip doesn’t respond quickly enough, so Kid K grabs his head and yanks it off the mat to give him a closer look. “I said, LOOK!” he barks.
|Skip can’t take his eyes off of Kid Karisma’s “best” side|
“I’m looking! I see it! I like it!” Skip sputters back obediently. Later, Kid K spreads his awesome lats and turns his, arguably, best side toward his opponent as Skip struggles to peel himself off the mat after giving away yet another submission. “Do you see that?” Kid K asks, looking over his shoulder. Skip is just trying to shake the cobwebs from his rattled brain. “I asked if you were LOOKING AT ME!” Kid K threatens. “I see it! I see it!” Skip pleads.
|“Do you like that? To feel those arms around you?”|
An exquisite rear bearhug shows off both Kid K’s power and Skip’s vulnerability and sell. Kid K lifts him entirely off his feet and marches him around the mat for days, crushing him and owning him completely. “Do you like that!? To feel those arms around you?” Kid K wants to know.
|My personal favorite Kid K maneuver|
A late inverted bearhug from the karismatic one leaves him open for a suspended headscissors from Skip’s always dangerous legs, combined with another vicious ball claw that drops Kid K to his knees again. But Skip is far too wasted by this point to do anything at all with the momentary advantage. Kid K is back on his feet and locking down another in a series of standing scissors (my personal favorite Kid K torture device!) to make Skip howl in agony while leaving Kid K’s arms free to flex and admire himself in the mirror.
|The perfect pin|
A figure-4 choke caps off 8 unanswered submissions that Kid K racks up, but really, the last 10 minutes or so are pretty much one long series of Skip slamming face-first into that wall. Kid K drags the lucky, lucky jobber across the mat, smothers him with his crotch, and slaps down a 10 count final fall victory. He admires his handiwork by flexing for the mirror with his boot grinding into Skip’s crotch, but Skip’s too far out of it to even flinch. The karismatic victor claims Skip’s lost trunks as a trophy, but then reconsiders. On one knee, he leans in and plants his mouth across the slack lips of his beaten opponent. Slowly (it’s almost a half a minute of face sucking), Skip rouses in what has got to be the absolute best way to wake up in the history of waking up. Hell, if you’re going to take his trunks, why not just toss the adorably ripped jobber over your shoulder and take him as the sweetest trophy of all?
|Best way to wake up ever invented!|
Wow, wow, wow. There’s much, much more to enjoy in this match than even this major league spoiler details. Sign me up for the petition to see a follow-up three-way (let’s be honest, 2-on-1) between Kid Karisma, Skip Vance, and Skip’s lover, Christian Taylor. And in the mean time, beautiful work boys, and no wonder Kid K remains at the very top of my list of favorite homoerotic wrestlers!
|Talk about a trophy!|