I think it’s been a while since I mused over my infatuation with tattooed wrestlers. It’s true that my own ink likely biases me toward my appreciation of illustrated hunks, but then again, my appreciation of illustrated hunks definitely influenced my own body art choices. Not everyone looks good inked. Definitely not all ink looks good, as far as I’m concerned. But there are many tattooed wrestlers who instantly own my allegiance when the step onto the mat or into the ring, in large part because they’ve got incredibly sexy ink that I crave to see wrapped up all over their suffering opponent.
Here’s some of my choice pics from the recent crops of new release homoerotic wrestling products, featuring ink that grabs my attention and makes me pull for one hardbodied hottie over the other based in large part on the artistry they embody even before they sculpt their bodies into that most provocative aesthetic form: homoerotic wrestling.
Okay, I love me some
Cameron Matthews. His attitude, his wit, his relatively recently redefined incredibly conditioned physique, that ASS(!!!)… it’s hard not to find myself wanting to identify with the babyface brawler turned muscle daddy for a heel bid. But fuck!
Eli Black works his magic in my shorts once again in
Mat Hunks 9, solidly holding my gaze and making me acknowledge he’s my boy in this match, and I have to think it’s his ever growing collection of tattoos.
A relatively recent release in what I think is Can-Am’s best genre contribution to homoerotic wrestling pits epically long-time favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy of mine, Rusty Stevens, against almost painfully beautiful pretty boy, Kevin Crowes in
Pro Sex Fight 4. I have a documented record years-long that proves that there’s almost nobody to compete with Rusty Stevens in delighting, entrancing and infatuating me, starting well before he lays a finger on an opponent. And Rusty’s got some sweet ink, albeit he could use some touch ups, if you ask me. But Kevin Crowes’ combination of imminently fuckable classically proportioned beauty along with his bold, massive, gorgeous ink does what perhaps only
one man before has been able to do: hold my attention and settle my ass securely and convincingly in the opposite corner from Rusty Stevens.
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| Paul Hudson’s tatted bicep makes Lon Dumont just a little less pretty. |
Lon Dumont’s skin is smooth, clear and entirely absent of foreign pigment. It’s not the art tatted onto Lon’s body that has propelled him into the top echelons of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers, but the incredible beauty of his competition physique paired with a smart, vicious persona and high quality pro wrestling execution. What could make me root against my reigning favorite!? I think it’s two things, really. One, there’s something deeply stirring watching a whittled to an anatomy chart physique star go slack over and over in a knock outs match, and (more to the point of this post), his opponent Paul Hudson surprises me by smacking me firmly into the Hudson camp with his bulging trunks and upper arm ink. Lon’s face slack and smashed into the black band inked across Paul’s right bicep is simply gorgeous.
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| Illustrated MJ rides Attila’s ass |
The 3rd match in Mat Hunks 9 catches me by surprise by how compelled I am by it. Attila Dynasty (and in particular, his ass) has long been an infatuation of mine. But MJ Vergara is visually astonishing the moment he walks into the BG East mat room and shoves Attila stumbling ahead of him. The mohawked muscle man is amazingly built, veins popping, muscles bulging, 25 inch waist (my guess, I haven’t measure him myself… but I’d be very happy to). His bold, beautiful tattoo stretched across the whole of his left pec and massive deltoid and trapezius muscles is simply beautiful! Attila is such a smart ass, such a cocky, swaggering, proven-dangerous son of a bitch, of course, and there are plenty of matches in which that character is exactly the one I can’t wait to watch work up a head of sadistic steam all over his crushed opponent’s body. Not this time, however. Fuck, I’m all on board with compact muscle stud MJ going ape shit all over Attila’s fine, fine ass, and I’m thinking that he’s got me sucked in to identifying with his plans for bully revenge thanks in large part to that gorgeous ink that absolutely swallows up Attila whole.
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| Beauty and power you just have to touch. |
Chace LaChance and Braden Charron in BG East’s Summer Sizzler’s bonus are both in the best shape I’ve ever seen either of them, and sporting more ink than I think we’ve ever seen on either phenomenal muscle men. All of that inked muscle wrapped around each other, squeezing, stretching, and flexing is breathtaking. Who to root for when both stunning physique stars are in the best condition and most extensive ink ever? It’s a toss up for me, but I’m not complaining. There’s no way this can miss!
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| Big Sexy’s big, sexy ink on display. |
Less surprising is Thunder’s Arena’s Big Sexy owning my lustful allegiance in Battle Space 45. If there’s a “total package” in homoerotic wrestling these days (by the way I estimate packages, at least), Big Sexy probably has the best claim. He’s smart and funny, highly skilled on the mats, handsome as hell, beautifully built, one of the most fuckable asses on the planet, and all of that beautiful artwork! Both an artist and a work of art, I’m entirely a Big Sexy fanatic when he steps onto the mats with the entirely tattooless muscles of a muscle star, Muscles.
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| Oiled ink on ridiculously hot Landon Conrad. |
Naked Kombat’s newest release makes me gasp. Even if Landon Conrad didn’t have a few, modest tats on that insanely hot muscle bod, he’d definitely be my man in
his match against amazingly hot, yet somehow unavoidably diminished in comparison, Alex Law. However, ridiculously handsome muscle hunk Landon does, indeed, have tats that drive home the point that this porn gladiator is suddenly my #1 Naked Kombat kombatant in any match for the foreseeable future.
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| Specimen illustrates total domination. |
Thunder’s Arena has long been the place for the battles of the big men, and Battle Space 46 is a prime example. Looking for everything like Superman’s alternate universe arch enemy Bizzaro, bad boy and mighty meat head Vinny was never going to be my man after the tiff he dusted up around his “gay taunt” earlier in his Thunder’s career. But then again, with beautiful, branded beef like Specimen is serving up, it wasn’t like Vinny had a chance anyway. Beat his ass, make him cry, and give him an up-close examination of every tat, Specimen!
My final tat shout out is for another a BG East newcomer, bad ass Vic Madone. Vic is a perfect example of the difference between still frame homoerotic wrestling images and homoerotic wrestling in action. In still frame, this gorgeous stud is GORGEOUS! I mean, crystal blue eyes to swim in. A face that should be hocking ultra-expensive men’s cologne. A lickable body that appears to be the perfect intersection of form and function. Even with all of those very, very nice tats, I could picture still-frame Vic easily donning a tuxedo and walking a red carpet (and then climbing into a wrestling ring for a rip-n-strip extravaganza). But when I watched his debut match on Mat Hunks 9, there was nothing “pretty” about Vic. He mumbles non-stop, and I’d pay money for a translator, because I’m sure that incessant trash talk is sexy as shit. But Vic is an object of my lust like Michael Imperioli is in the Sopranos. He’s rough, mean as hell, machismo oozing out of his pours, and absolutely BRUTAL! Personally, I’m likely to root for anyone going up against Ray Naylor simply because I’m dying to see someone seriously ride that epic ass of his. But Vic is honestly phenomenal in this match, slowly warming me up from an initial tingling in my crotch to a full-on raging fever over the course of the first 5 minutes. I pity anyone who faces this hot, inked hunk, but I fully expect that if anyone does, you can count on me standing right behind Vic in anticipation of him doing serious damage.
So ink seems to be adding up to my allegiance lately. Of course, just because I’m rooting for one wrestler to win doesn’t mean I don’t thoroughly enjoy being surprised, having my boy bested, watching the power I’m invested and identified with tamed and conquered. But tattooed muscles wrapping up and locking down an outmatched opponent is a particular brand of hot for me.
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Sidelineland 
I feel like I'm just on the tail end of the generation that didn't become obsessed with tattoos, so maybe that is why I don't really like them that much.I don't mind some tattoos when they compliment the body and are the right scale, but honestly, I think most guys have terrible taste. Too many obscures definition on the body. Randomly located ones with no connection look disjointed and poorly planned. And the whole "look how deep I am with my Chinese characters, even though I don't speak a word of the language" thing is just weird to me.But I know it makes me out-of-touch, but I am excited for the fad to end (hopefully).