“I’m a big fan!”

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Lauden Sevior

Little Lauden Sevior is a mystery to me. He a gorgeous little flower. Hot, petite body. Delicately pretty face accentuated and framed with his long, flowing hair. Of course I understand why I want to see him stripped to a thong and showing off his beauty for a gay wrestling audience. I just think he may be better suited to be the eye candy ring girl (ring boy?) drawing hoots and leers in the intermissions between the bell than one of the fighters (I know, I know, this is a boxing metaphor rather than a pro wrestling metaphor).

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Gold Shaft’s semi-sweet initiation of Lauden

But he keeps showing up on the BG East wrestlings mats, and he keeps getting crushed like a grape. The maulings of Lauden seem to me to be getting crueler and more lopsided with each go. Sensationally sexy erotic warrior Gold Shaft probably treated little Lauden with the most tenderness.  Of course that means that he terrorized the kid every which way, but by the attention with which Gold Shaft meticulously studied Lauden’s dancer’s ass, you could tell that he was going to save just enough of the kid’s dignity to make Lauden beg for his Gold Shaft. Ethan Andrews, on the other hand, fucking bullied Lauden relentlessly.  Similarly, the pleasure was all Ray Naylor’s as he snickered and taunted and laughed his way to one of the most heartless, vicious squashes I think I’ve ever seen. LJL kept little Lauden in the match just long enough to feast on the kid’s magnificently shattered dreams. Lauden seems to bring the nastiest out of his opponents. Frankly, I get why they all want to hurt him. I just don’t get why he keeps showing up for more.

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Lauden can’t wait to get his hands on Drake

But I have my suspicions about why Lauden agreed to return to the scene of so many crimes to square off against the Cheshire Cat Drake Marcos in Undagear 27. Lauden makes no mystery of the fact that he is, like I am, a huge Drake Marcos fan. In his delicate high tenor Puerto Rican accent, he’s practically stumbling over himself from the start, fanboying all over Drake. There’s a possessiveness about it. He’s just counting his lucky starts to have made it through the gauntlet of previous muggers to have earned the opportunity to get his hands on (and especially, vice versa) his favorite BGE star. Little Lauden seems to think of himself as the president of the Cheshire Cat fan club, for which I say Watch yourself, prettyboy. I’ll join the long line of users and abusers to stomp my foot up your taut, athletic ass before you can rip that title from my hands.

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“Can you get out of it?” Drake asks.  “Why would I!?”

Anyway, there’s instantly a different vibe about this match than all of Lauden’s previous outings. For one, he takes up more of the space. Not physically, of course. He’s still insanely tiny. But he’s got a voice. He’s shown up with eager motivation to face his hero. He’s excited and determined, and I completely get why he’s here this time. He wants to feel the steel trap of Drake’s scissors first hand. He wants to watch that handsome face up close, beaming down in pure erotic wrestling joy. He wants to earn his hero’s respect, taking what Drake dishes out and, just maybe, turning the tables, all in the service of a little positive regard. Trust me, Lauden, I know exactly what you’re thinking.

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Who’s happier?

Despite his win-loss record, it should come as a surprise to no one that Drake dominates most of this match. He presses his advantage in height and weight early and often, and he’s got magnificent mat skills beaten into him by the most accomplished mentor an aspiring erotic wrestler could hope for. He bullies little Lauden into position like so many of the prettyboy’s opponents before him, but the punishing holds are savored long and beautifully. There’s an explicitly sexy mutuality about the way Drake bears down on the dancer boy. Seconds in, Lauden is getting snapped in half in those body scissors (fuck, those hurt). He gasps in pain, feeling the pressure compress his rib cage. “Nice!” Lauden gasps, his face a mixture of agony and pleasure that I have to think is exactly how he looks when he’s mid-orgasm. “Can you get out of it?” Drake asks, smirking, soaking in the sight of what he’s doing to his opponent. Nine times out of 10, an opponent will try to play mind games right there. Most wrestlers will dismiss any hint that they’re getting hurt. You’re most likely to hear the phrase, “Is that all you’ve got?” in moments like this. But not this match.  Not Lauden, staring up at that sincerely delighted smile. “Why would I!?” Lauden coos, instead. Yeah, this is not your typical underground wrestling story.

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Drake is delighted with his front face lock, hammerlock, bodyscissors trifecta.

 

So Lauden wants to suck down everything Drake’s got. And lest you underestimate him, Drake’s got plenty. He slams him to the mat with authority. He rips him apart at the shoulders with chicken wings. He rag dolls Lauden in as standing full nelson, that curtain of hair flying all over the place. More scissors.  A whole lot more scissors. With variable condiments on the side like an added hammerlock, a squeeze and slap to the ass. He rips off Lauden’s red trunks, leaving the lithe dancer in sensationally tight, brief, ass-revealing undagear.

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Drake inspired

“You’re a lot easier than I thought,” Drake marvels, having his way from hold to hold, periodically surveying the damage in schoolboy pins. “Well, I don’t want to hurt my favorite wrestler,” Lauden winks. That’s right, Lauden delivers the hottest backhanded compliment of the year.  He implies that he’s letting Drake walk away with it, that he could hurt the Cheshire Cat at will, but that he just doesn’t want it. Whether it’s sincerity or bluff, it lights a renewed fire under Drake’s ass to squeeze every last ounce of fight out of his #1 fan (behind me).

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Between a rock and a hard place

And then again, I suppose that’s option number 3. Not exactly sincere challenge or bluff, but rather Lauden is calculating just what concoction of compliments and trash talk he needs to feed his hero to inspire the punishing brutality that he knows Drake can deliver, when properly motivated. Drake hoists the dancer off his feet in a bearhug, making Lauden whimper. He charges into the wall, crushing little Lauden between his rock and the hard place. And speaking of hard places, when Drake pulls Lauden off the wall and snaps him back into a humiliating full nelson, Lauden’s swelling pouch telegraphs exactly what Drake’s brand of domination is doing to him.

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“Nice body.”  “Thanks.”

It’s a dangerous game to play, poking a bear with a stick in order to see it roar. There are mini-climaxes of Drake being sincerely furious and putting a nasty hurt on the little guy. You know which ones hurt by the smile evaporating from Lauden’s face, and the Puerto Rican jobber coming charging at him seeing blood. And no shit, Lauden puts some hurt right back on the Cheshire Cat. Grinding the ball of his foot into Drake’s balls steals a little of the wind from the Cheshire Cat’s sails. Lauden mounts him in a schoolboy pin and shoves that semi-hard poker right into Drake’s gasping face. Just to keep him focused on the task at hand, Lauden leans back and claws at Drake’s balls, squeezing out a scream. And then, slowly and savoringly, he strokes the palms of his hands up Drake’s sweaty torso. “Nice body,” Lauden coos. “Thanks,” Drake smiles up, a half second before hooking the dancer’s shoulders with his long legs and slamming the kid to his back.

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Drake meets his #1 fan (behind me)

There are tears of agony shed from both wrestlers. They’re pushing themselves just that hard. They’re coaxing out of each other a gorgeously nasty street fight, and the give and take is the most compelling wrestling I’ve seen Lauden pull off.  There’s a whole lot of spanking, and in fact, I’d guess that if we were able to torture an honest answer out of him, that would be Lauden’s secret most desire. My hunch is that he isn’t just a masochist. I don’t think he enjoyed any of his previous matches as much as this one, because just getting stomped into a pool of tears and sweat isn’t his thing. But by the screams and final submission to Drake as the Cheshire Cat bends him over his knee and spanks his ass blood red, I think right then, there’s nowhere else in the world little Lauden Sevior would prefer to be.

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Yes sir, may I have another?!

And when Drake climbs on top, post match, and they start making out, I get the impression that Drake is equally as happy with this moment, and not just because it’s a much overdue tick in the win column.

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What everybody wants

Hump Day

It’s been a while since I took a break from interviews and reviews for a more thematic post. Today, I’m thinking about that peculiar idiom, referring to Wednesday as “hump day.”  I actually missed this convention growing up.  It was some time in my early adulthood, probably perusing commentary about homoerotic wrestling, when I first heard the term “hump day.” Now, I see and hear it everywhere. I still associate it with sex, but considering how mainstream it is, that’s clearly not implied by everyone. But among those of us into homoerotic wrestling, what else would come to mind?

An enthusiastic pelvic thrust in the midst of a wrestling match is one of those relatively subtle moments that instantly turns a confrontation sensationally erotic. Personally, I get off on wrestling beyond any direct analogy to sex acts. But there’s an extravagant openness about a wrestler taking an opportunity by force to tease his crotch grinding into his opponent’s crack. It opens up exciting possibilities about stakes. It signals to those of us aroused on this side of the screen that at least one of the hunks on that side of the screen is also turned on. It’s impassioned and motivated and pulls a wrestling match out of the closet by the scruff of the neck. In those rare moments when the wrestler getting humped responds receptively, when his mouth gapes open in frustrated desire, when he’s visibly struggling with a momentary lust to get fucked by the hot hunk on his back competing with his desire for wrestling victory (I’m looking at you, Drake Marcos), then a wrestling match is elevated for me beyond any hardcore porn scene I’ve ever seen.

So, happy hump day, homoerotic wrestling fans. And a thousand thanks to those wrestlers who kick the competition up a notch with a hearty, grunting, sweaty pelvic thrust.

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Drake immobilized by Skrapper’s cock – Matmen 26
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Lauden Sevior starts punching Drake’s ticket – Undagear 27
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Oh, look, Drake’s ass pinned to the wall by Ethan’s monster cock – Undagear 25
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Jaysen Minx mounts Goren Ford’s hot ass and makes him ask himself just how bad he wants to fight back – Undagear 27 
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Shocked heel beefcake Hawk Rodman’s final concession is cradling Fabrice’s thrusting cock between his cheeks – Mat Rookies 2

Tuesday Trunk Pulls

In a “fresh tugs” edition of Tuesday Trunk Pulls, there’s a big crop of trunk pulls in the new release section at BG East. I mean, a lot! If you need a little extra leverage, if you need a little handle to get everything in just the right position, always feel free to grab hold of the tiniest tether: your opponent’s trunks. And if there’s a camera nearby, treat the rest of us to a little pre-Christmas unwrapping party!

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In Tag Team Torture 17, the 3-way barnburner between Jonny Firestorm, Mike Pitt, and Cameron Matthews gets vicious fast. Never one to shy away from jerking on his opponent’s trunks (and showing off some beefy ass), here Jonny drags Mike’s hips off the mat by his straining trunks.
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An equal opportunity brutalizer, Jonny shows the same disrespect to Cameron Matthews, with the added bonus of showing us why Cameron is always a contender for the best butt award.
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In a “reap-what-you-sow” morality tale, Jonny discovers that payback is both a bitch and a vicious wedgie when Cameron drags his fine ass across the ring by a double-fistful of Jonny’s purple trunks.
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Ethan Andrews does not need any additional advantage to completely squash, obliterate, and trounce lovely, lithe Lauden Sevior. But that doesn’t stop him from taking sick satisfaction in yanking on the go-go boy’s jock strap and long, flowing locks to add humiliation to total physical domination in Passion & Punishment.
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Jonah Richards grabs everything he can to subdue fellow Raunchy Rookie Ken Okeda.
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In Hunkbash 15 Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) spends about 40% of the bout with his fingers yanking on Rio Garza’s trunks. Understandably.
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Raunchy rookies know not to let a little fabric or “rule” get in the way, such as when Kayden “Hungry like the Wolf” Kayden pries Ty’s hips out of the corner with a severe yank on the trunks, in order to set him up for more gut punching brutality.

Me rindo!

5’8″, 130 lbs, Rookie treat Lauden Sevior
I’ve been finding my eye captured lately by men who I lovingly classify as twinks.  There’s probably a more accurate, subtle and respectful way to refer to them, but I mean no disrespect.  Very lean, not thickly muscled but with that momentary coincidence of youth and cardio-tuned fitness, these are bodies that speak to me only when the mood strikes.  For some reason, lately the mood as been striking.
Gold Shaft works to possess every inch of Lauden’s lean body!

Case in point: Lauden Sevior’s BG East debut in Sunshine Shooters 6. He takes my breath away as he stretches out before his masked opponent, Gold Shaft, enters the room, and I’m as astonished at my reaction to him as I am at his obvious sexiness.  From some angles, there’s a Brad Pitt a la Thelma and Louise handsomeness about Lauden, but sweet Jesus, he’s so damn lean!  The flowing, shoulder-length locks and that the look of recent graduation from boyhood into downy, freshly sprouted chest hair makes my mouth water.  From Gold Shaft’s reaction when he walks in the room, I’m not the only one.  Even had we not already seen the cock-wrestling credentials of this masked stud, it’s impossible to miss the raw, testosterone fueled sensuality that pulses off his lovely, smooth body.  The contrast between this mysteriously and ominously masked cock-wrestling power-hitter and Lauden’s apparent achingly beautiful innocence is hot, hot drama!

Gold Shaft breaks the kid apart piece by piece!

Gold Shaft clearly needs a mouth stitched into that mask, because he’s so obviously famished to taste the tender corn fed veal dangled so tantalizingly in front of him.  Credit where due, Lauden slaps down some entirely respectable offense that makes me think that with a little more training and a lot more classes in the school of hard knocks, he could mount a dazzle and destroy strategy on some unsuspecting heel wannabe.  But he has two fatal flaws in his arsenal: his hot glutes and flowing locks simply demand for Gold Shaft to take possession of them.

Gold Shaft perches his golden shaft across the rookie’s baby face
Honestly, I don’t think there are a lot of rooks who get so erotically and entirely used their first time out of the gate.  Clearly, Gold Shaft has had that same hankering I’ve had.  The veteran spends days lustily squeezing the twinks lovely little ass.  He wedgies Lauden’s trunks up nice and high to get full contact with his milky white mounds.  The kid loses track of which is the ceiling and which is the floor along the way in the match, and the more vulnerable he gets, the more passionate Gold Shaft grows.  He grinds his crotch into the twink’s ass and across his face and against Lauden’s bulge and… well, everywhere.  
Gold Shaft can’t keep his fingers out of Lauden’s glowing locks

But it’s Gold Shaft’s lack of all self-conciousness or self-restraint when it comes to Lauden’s hair that transports me inside that white mask of his.  He runs his fingers through the twink’s locks everytime his hands wander anywhere near his head.  Gold Shaft seems lost in awed, dominating lust at the feel of his  baby-baby faced opponent’s hair wrapped up in a handy handle and used to perfection to drag Lauden humiliatingly off the mat, across the room, and plowed face-first into Gold Shaft’s monster bulge.  That body, that ass, those long, flowing locks were simply made for this moment of soul crushing wrestling domination at the hands of master artist who plays him to nothing short of perfection.

Lauden gets strummed like a ukulele! 

Damn, this kid is tormented and pleasured in such perfect harmony!  I mean, he’s putty in the hands of the terrifying masked god of some mythic homoerotic pantheon, but Lauden’s first go at homoerotic wrestling on camera documents the insanely pretty green rookie pounded into the depths of despair and almost hypnotically lifted to the heights of carnal pleasure such that the result is simply stunning to watch.  The persistent ebb and flow of brutal pain and dizzying ecstasy leave Lauden so entirely disoriented that there’s honestly very little left to the imagination when he’s dragged crawling on his hands and knees across the mat by the masked god who has taken full possession of what is guaranteed to be an obedient acolyte right in the middle of his initiation into the mysterious rights of homoerotic wrestling.

Gold Shaft continues his rites of initiation on the pretty rookie off camera

Here’s to hoping that Gold Shaft didn’t strike such terror into this tasty little biscuit that Lauden has been too seriously psychically/spiritually damaged to ever dare set foot in front of a BG East camera again.  Because I, for one, would like to be the first to suggest there’s nobody, but nobody more ideal to star in the next Hair Stakes match than Lauden versus Diego Diaz, both Latino beauties tempting fate to try not to be the first to scream “Me rindo!” before the clippers forcibly make him a shade less pretty.