Picking Over the Pieces of Team Vanity

So much virtual ink has been spilled over the opening match in Tag Team Torture 19, I figured everything that could be said has been said by now. You’ve heard my opinions, Alex’s opinions, Joe’s opinions, and most recently, Wrestling Arsenal’s opinions on the classic confrontation between star spangled All-Americans Christian Taylor and Charlie Evans facing off agains Team Vanity, Ty Alexander and Chase Addams. But of everything that’s been said about this match, one thing we haven’t heard is what the wrestlers themselves might have to say about this much lauded new release. I’m tickled pink camo to report that both members of Team Vanity agreed to sit down with me and reflect on what went right and what went wrong for them in Tag Team Torture 19. I was so pleased that Ty and Chase were willing to set aside the bad blood that boiled over between them on camera to team up again for this interview. But not everything that tore them apart in TTT19 is exactly put back together again, and things go off the rails before the interview has even started, as you’ll see. There were hard words, hard feelings, and hard cocks (well, at least mine) by the time this chaotic twofer interview concluded, so buckle up, whip out your “selfie stick,” and enjoy the hard sell charm offense of 2015 Jobber of the Year Ty Alexander and dangerously charming newbie Charming Chase Addams.

 

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Team Vanity: Ty Alexander and Chase Addams

 

Bard: I haven’t seen any sign of Ty yet.

Chase: Late as usual.

Bard: Well, let’s get this started, and hope that Ty shows up sooner rather than later. It is a great pleasure to get to talk with you, Chase!

Chase: Pleasure is mine.

Bard: You made quite an impression on BG East fans with your stunning debut on Tag Team Torture 19. I don’t know that I’ve ever heard of a rookie debuting with two matches on one DVD before. How was it for you to get introduced to the meat grinder that is BG East competition?

 

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Chase shows off his “different set of skills” all over Christian.

Chase: Not going to lie, it was a bit nerve racking. I’m not exactly your cookie cutter BG performer. I definitely brought a different build and different set of skills to the ring, and I wasn’t for sure how well received it would be. But so far everyone seems to be responding pretty positively to me.

 

Bard: Uh, hell yes! All the buzz that I’ve seen and heard has been very positive. So what are some of those different skills that you’ve brought with you to BG East, and where did you learn them?

Chase: I’m definitely very pro orientated, without having been a pro on the indy circuit, like BG normally brings in. I haven’t had the time traveling around and performing, so I had to practice over and over again in the ring in St. Louis until everything got perfect

Bard: You’re a mid-West boy?

Chase: Heartland born and raised. I’ve only lived near St. Louis for about two and a half years now.

Bard: Have you always been into wrestling, or is this relatively new?

Chase: I’ve always been a wrestling fan. I grew up on guys like Bret Hart. I was too young, in my parents opinion, to watch the Attitude era, so I got to start watching it again in about 2002, I think. Randy Orton and Evolution were becoming a thing. So no, this isn’t new for me.

Bard: You look pretty damned seasoned in TTT19. That was some fine, technical wrestling. Who would you say your style is modeled after?

 

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Chase is partial to a joint snapping armbar.

Chase: I think my style is a bit of a mix. I see something that someone does that impresses me and I add that to my list. Currently, I’ve been watching a lot of Zach Sabre Jr, and Becky Lynch lately. Something about armbars are so simple and so effective.

 

Bard: You nearly rip apart more than a couple of arms in TTT19 with those armbars and wristlocks. Was it all science and calculations for you, or did you enjoy putting a hurt on your opponents?

Chase: I go in with a game plan, but if something else seems to work better, I can be a little flexible. If there is blood in the water, I go right for it.


Bard
: That definitely shows. The match description on the website suggests that Ty gets some credit for bringing you into BG East. How did your relationship with the Trophy Boy come about?

 

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Things Fall Apart

Chase: I met Ty through a former BG wrestler, and he introduced us. Ty and I kept in touch, and he was a pretty strong advocate for bringing me into the company.

 

Bard: It should come as no surprise to fans for me to reveal that things go south for your tag team relationship. I mean, it turns really, really ugly there. I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised that Ty is, thus far, standing us up for what had been agreed to be a joint interview. Are things still icy between the two of you?

Chase: I’m fine with everything. His ego is probably still recovering from the two matches. It is unfortunate that he couldn’t bother to show up for this. It’s disrespectful to the both of us really.

Bard: I know well that Ty has a very sizable ego. In your working relationship with him, as brief as it was, how would you handicap the Trophy Boy? What would you say is his biggest asset in the ring, and, conversely, what would you say is Ty’s biggest weakness?

Chase: I’m sure in his opinion his biggest asset would be his ass. He seems to find a way to get it hanging out every match…the entire match. He gets so caught up in himself that it really hinders him.

Ty: [arriving and interrupting] I’m here now, so you can start the interview.

Chase: So glad you could be bothered to join us.

Bard: I’m glad you could make it after all, Ty!

 

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It takes time to look this good.

Ty: Sorry, Bard. I spent all night picking out my week’s gear. Gotta look amazing in the ring. Takes a lot out of a guy. Had to get that beauty sleep in, and I mean, come on! It takes time to look this good. So you can understand, I’m sure. Also had to polish my multiple awards. Debut, wrestler of the year, and all that. You know how it is.

 

Chase: And, my point is proven.

Bard: [laughing] Interestingly, Chase was just sharing that he thinks your obsession with your ass may be your biggest weakness when you climb into the ring. How you feel about that?

Ty: How can an ass like this be a weakness!? Oh, Chase is here too, huh [just noticing]? Yeah, I totally forgot about that one. I mean he did get a close up look of it.

 

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Ty’s assets

Bard: [laughing] Too true! Your tag team opponents shoved your face right between Ty’s bubble cheeks, Chase. Is Ty’s ass as phenomenal as it’s made out to be?

 

Ty: [interrupting as Chase starts to reply] I can answer that. Yes, yes it is. I mean look at this! It gave Kid Karisma competition finally for best ass. And sorry, Chase, when your photos have as many admirers as mine do you will understand being fashionably late.

Chase: When you’re a professional, you show up on time.

Bard: Okay, this is going to get out of hand, I can tell. So, Ty, since I gave Chase a chance to handicap you, what would you say are Chase’s biggest asset and weakness as a ring rookie?

Ty: Assets? Hmm. Have to think about that [tapping his chin, looking stumped].

Bard: Seriously, you have nothing complimentary to say about your tag team partner!?

 

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Team Vanity doesn’t know what just hit them (each other).

Ty: I’d say Chase is an amazing wrestler. There is no doubt about that. But that’s just it: he’s a rookie. I mean so many rookie mistakes. I mean, who falls for the oldest trick in the book of tripping over a foot?! Seriously!? Also that ghostly lack of a tan. I’m sure Charlie can see him coming a mile away.

 

Bard: Well, I suppose that answers the assets and weaknesses question. What would each of you say are the ingredients of a successful tag team?

Ty: Matching outfits, of course! Gotta coordinate everything perfectly. The look. The attitude. That’s why I tried to groom Chase in the best way possible: in my image. I mean, come on, look at that look! We looked awesome!

Chase: Synergy is important. The two involved need to be on the same level. When one is dragging the other along by his overly tan hide, it gets a little strenuous on the other.

Ty: Yeah, you were a good bit under my level, thanks for admitting that.

Bard: Well, both of you have put your finger on my next question, which is where did Team Vanity go off the rails? So much promise. Fabulously matching gear. Serious ring skills. But those All-Americans seriously own you both at multiple points in your match. What went wrong?

Ty: Another thing a tag team needs is concern for their partner, which I had. Chase took a hit to the face, and who was there to look and make sure nothing happened? Me, that’s who. The poor guy would have been lost without me.

Chase: Such a caring partner. Especially with the elbow drop across my face

Ty: I only did it to reset you nose after the little ginger bitch hit you. I was helping! I’d say things fell apart with Chase being a klutz and ramming his face into my balls when he tripped over Christian’s foot. A concerned partner would have also tried to pull my trunks up, but I also understand how distracting it could be. It happens.

Bard: What do you think was the nail in the coffin of Team Vanity, Chase?

Ty: That nail of a nose in my perfect ass [cough, cough].

Chase: When he decided to attack me, aka, the elbow to my face.

Ty: I told you, I was trying to fix your nose!!! No appreciation from these rookies, I swear. Try to help them, and they think you attack them, ugh. No trust at all.

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In the grudge match that follows their tag team debut, it’s not always clear who has whom!

Bard: [laughing] So, can we talk about your singles match, that followed that fateful tag team car crash with the All-Americans? You both look incredibly evenly matched for the first third of the match or so. Were you surprised by how close that match was?

Chase: I felt bad during the first part of the match. His bruised ego and all. I was holding back for his sake.

 

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Chase leaves bruises.

Ty: Bruised ego, huh? Not at all. My ego is in tact. What wasn’t was my body after you caused more damage than our opponents during our tag team match. Busted lip, sore ass, welt on my head, sprained ankle. I couldn’t take pics all day, damn it! But to answer the actual question, Bard, I wasn’t so surprised. After all, he was emulating me.

 

Bard: Now that sounds serious, if Ty wasn’t physically able to take selfies.

Ty: I know! Don’t worry, though. I have made a full recovery

Chase: [rolling eyes] Joyous.

Ty: Shut up, Chase! I should have known you were up to no good. Wearing all that camo. Sneaky son of a bitch. See, Bard, gear obviously makes the match. He needed to cheat by wearing camo. It even helped hide that bleached body of his.

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This grudge match is personal!

Bard: [laughing] Well, I think that answers my question about any ongoing bad blood between the two of you. I’m trying not to include too much of a spoiler here for fans who haven’t seen the matches, but it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise that you both suffer hard at each other’s hands. They say no one can hurt you worse than a lover, and I’m wondering if something similar holds for pro wrestling. No one knows how to hurt you worse than a tag team partner. Do you think you two could ever patch things up and give the tag team circuit another try?

 

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For the record: Chase will NOT worship the ground Ty walks on.

Chase: Ty seems to want to “mold me into his image.” I’m not down for that. I don’t plan on having my career being based off of being Ty’s tag team partner. I’m skillful enough to stand on my own. Ty likes to call me “this rookie.” I haven’t been doing this for a decade, but I have been doing this on my own for the past two and a half years. This isn’t my first rodeo, and it won’t be my last. So, in short, Ty can go find someone else to worship the ground he walks on.

 

Ty: You know what? Fine, you ungrateful ass. I will! There are tons of BG East prospects who would kill to tag with me. I was going to give you a second chance. Give you an opportunity to try your own thing, but please, by all means, see how far you go, little man. And two and a half years!? Ha! Please, I’ve been doing it way longer than you, buddy.

Bard: Now that’s a definitive “no!” Based on what I’ve seen, I’d say you definitely have everything you need to stand on your own, Chase. You mentioned early on, before Ty arrived, that you don’t have a typical physical build for BG East wrestlers. Can we talk about your body just a bit?

Chase: Sure thing, Bard.

Ty: His body!? Huh, please. You really think that can stand up to Kayden, Guido, Kid Karisma? Ha! They would snap him like a twig.

 

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You aren’t looking at Chase’s shoulders, are you?

Bard: So, sure Ty, chime in here, but I want to talk about the fresh meat on the table, namely, Chase’s body. Personally, Chase, I think you’ve got a sensational body for pro wrestling. And you know what discerning eyes BG East fans have. I know what I like about your body, but what are you particularly proud of about your physique, Chase?

 

Ty: I’ll keep my comments to myself. No matter how much of a disappointment he is, I can’t deny Chase the compliment that he has a nice body. Trust me, he does work hard.

Chase: Well, I’m constantly striving to be better, but I’m told I have nice shoulders [laughing].

Bard: I could see that, Chase. Your shoulders are sexy. You also have unquestionably sexy nipples. I’m hoping that you and Mason Brooks square off at some point for a sexy nipple contest.

 

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Mason and Chase need to settle this in the ring!

 

Chase: I would love to face Mason over who has better nipples! I’m sure that’d be fun!

Bard: Uh, fuck yes, that would be fun!!! Oh, you mean for you? Yes, I get the sense that wrestling Mason is intensely pleasant and painful all at the same time. Can you talk more about what you meant when you said you have a “different build” than most wrestlers at BG East?

 

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Slender with a bit of mass.

Chase: I’m more slender, but I still have a bit of mass on me. It’s like I’m the best of both worlds combined.

 

 

Ty: [laughing] Best of both worlds? You’re in your own little world, that’s for sure.

Bard: Like I said, I think you’re mighty fine, Chase. I do think that some BG East fans key in on one particular body type. Some like the massive bodybuilders. Others get off on bear daddies. Some like the fashion models. As for me, I savor them all. And I think you bring a great look and a very sexy bod to contribute to the mix. Ty brought up the challenge that you face now that you’ve been introduced to the ranks of BG East, namely big, bruising heels with boatloads of wrestling experience and anywhere from 30 to 60 pounds of muscle mass advantage over you. Have you thought about how you’d handle the big, big bad boys at BG East?

Ty:I think a BG East veteran would be skeptical of his ability to handle the bigger guys, that’s for sure.

Chase: There is plenty more of me that the audience hasn’t seen of me yet.

Bard: Well, I for one am eager to sample more. I think you may want to watch your back, though. Ty seems to be nursing a grudge.

Ty: Not at all. A grudge? Never! Never that. [laughing evilly] I mean, why would I plot the downfall and pain of someone who I eagerly wait to see again soon?

Chase: He can be bitter and butt-hurt all he wants. I don’t mind.

Ty: Bitter and butt-hurt? [laughing] Please, just you wait, you little wannabe pretty boy. I have personal connections inside BG, and with the Boss. You think you can take on some of the bigger guys, be my guest. I can’t wait to see the result. I’m sure Boss Leopard will have a few things to say about your bitch attitude

 

ty
“lift, crunch, press, fuck”


Bard
: So, Ty, what about you? I recently described you as seeming to be in the process of becoming your truest self. Your wrestling skills, your body, your attitude… you’ve been on a steep climb in your career thus far, and you’ve been making huge advances. That said, your actual success in the ring has been limited. What’s in store for you?

 

Ty: For me? Oh, lots in store for me. I have been working hard with people from all over getting tips and training more with the Boss and Firestorm. Can I help it that people love me when I get my ass whopped? Not really, but those are what the Boss gives me for opponents. Bigger guys that some of the smaller ones are too afraid to face, because the Boss knows I can take it. That being said, you have seen two total pieces so far of my expansive Trophy Boy collection. There are many colors of the rainbow, and with my new attitude, outlook, and training, I’m gonna be way more aggressive and more cocky. I’m not afraid of anyone. And I know what “assets” I have to work to my advantage.

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Ty’s not afraid of the big boys!

Chase: Everyone deserves to feel special, even Ty. I’m sure Ty is going to continue his transformation into becoming the Kathy Griffin of BGE. All talk, all annoyance, all day, everyday.

Ty: Ha! I’m not D-List, Chase, I’m all A-List! Buckle up, little man. And buckle up, fans. There is a new Ty in town, and he’s here to stay.

Bard: I think you both have very, very bright futures ahead of you. Ty, if you could give one piece of advice to Chase as he looks to take his next steps in his wrestling career, what would it be?

Chase: Oh, this ought to be good.

 

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“This ought to be good.”

Ty: Watch your ba….. I mean, um, work hard keep training and get better.

 

Bard: [laughing] Sounds like good advice, Ty. Chase, as someone who has studied the sport extensively and worked closely with your former tag team partner here, what advice would you give to Ty at this point in his career?

Chase: Say your prayers, take your vitamins, stay in school, don’t do drugs. If he hasn’t learned anything by this point, he’s not going to. He’s been doing this for so much longer than I have, yet I’ve surpassed him in skill. Not much I can do for that.

Ty: Cocky little shit. I can’t wait to see you get your ass beaten. In fact I want a front row seat.

Chase: Only if we can find a muzzle for you.

Ty: Been there done that in a match.

Bard: Sage advice, all around. Well, I for one am truly sorry that Team Vanity seems to have run its course so soon. I loved your chemistry, and I’m sorry that more tag team opponents won’t get the opportunity to get ripped apart by the two of you in tandem. However, I am anxiously anticipating the next chapters in both of your wrestling careers. I hope you’ll both stay in touch with me and let neverland readers know how things are going for you on and off camera as things unfold for you.

Chase: Anything for you, Bard.

Bard: Hey, now. Keep talking like that, and I bet you’ll get very glowing reviews, Chase!

Ty: Always pleasure to interview for you, Bard. Even if the co-interviewee is Chase.

Bard: You’re a force of nature, Ty. I’m glad you were able to join us after all. This interview was a little like herding cats, but I was delighted to get to talk to you both. Thanks for letting fans in on a little more of what goes into the epic rise and fall of such a promising tag team!

Chase: Thanks again, Bard.

Ty: Later.

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The future looks bright for Chase Addams and Ty Alexander.

 

5 thoughts on “Picking Over the Pieces of Team Vanity

  1. Bard one of the best interviews I’ve read in a long time. I love how these guys put on a show. Anxious to see more from these guys. Ty, doesn’t need a tag team partner, his ego fills the ring. Chase looks and should always wear the bikini attire and wrestle in bare feet. My roomie, here in St Augustine, Jayden Mayne, is looking to wrestle again and I think either one, Chase and Ty would make for a good match.

  2. This interview is so much fun. It’s great that the drama extends beyond the ring. And speaking of vanity, I think Chase still has a lot to catch up with Ty.

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