Someone with impeccable taste (he reads neverland) put me on to fresh meat at UCW. Kevin Lin is sensational to look at, and, I’m happy to report, he’s damned exciting to watch wrestle. This spring, Joe posted a review of one of Kevin’s earlier matches, in which Derrick Cole apparently steamrolled right over him. As the camera comes up on UCW #471, Kevin is visibly battered, rubbing his sore muscles and licking his wounds (metaphorically) from Derrick’s beating.
Puppetmaster at UCW, Axel (aka Ethan) shows up with some sympathy and understanding. “Trust me, I’ve been on the receiving end of Derrick’s punches and all his shenanigans,” Axel pats Kevin on the back affectionately, “and, yeah, it’s rough.” I’m much more accustomed to seeing Axel as a vicious heel from BG East and Rock Hard Wrestling, so I’m instantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. Both boys are geared up, Axel in nondescript kelly green trunks and Kevin in what very well may be the best fitting gear of the year, sensationally tight red trunks that can’t quite cover the rookie’s ass cheeks bulging out the top. There’s a number 15 screen printed across his glorious ass, which coincidentally is the score I’d give Kevin’s fucking hot bod (on a scale from 1 to 10).
“I’m here now,” Axel consoles the new kid, “so I’m going to help you become a better wrestler, all right?” Again, knowing what a vile, sadistic prick he is in other shops, I keep screaming at the screen, Don’t trust him, Kevin!!! But as the coaching session unfolds, Axel is a self-restrained, if harsh, taskmaster. The nasty first lesson is an introduction to an OTK backbreaker. Regular readers know that and OTK is probably my very favorite pro wrestling hold, and sweet Jeebus, luscious Kevin looks delicious arched high and bulging significantly higher. Honestly, I’m just sure that Axel is going to punch him in the balls and proceed to maul the kid mercilessly, but no. He shows him how headbutts to the gut and a deep pec claw can double down the effectiveness of the hold, but then drops him cold and instructs the rookie to give the hold a try on him.
I’m still screaming, Don’t trust him, don’t trust him Kevin!!!, but then Axel permits himself to be hoisted up in a cradle and pounded down across the newbie’s knee. But here’s where things get really interesting for me. Kevin fucking beats on Axel’s exposed gut like he’s pounding in a nail. What’s more, he fucking loves this! I mean, the shining smile stretched across the newbie’s handsome face harkens to some kid opening a Christmas present that he wanted so bad he’d been too afraid to ask for it for fear of the devastation of potential disappointment. He likes the feel of another man wriggling on his line, groaning and grunting in response to the new kid’s ministrations.
I don’t know what Kevin Lin’s backstory is, but he was born for homoerotic wrestling! Axel seems to sense how quickly the hot kid is soaking up his lessons, because after just a couple more controlled experiments of tit for tat, coach says it’s time to just see where this whole thing goes unscripted. All told, this is definitely a narrative built around the contrast between one of the most experienced underground wrestlers in the business facing one of the least experienced. Axel owns him hard, testing the muscle stud’s tolerances, daring him to submit, while quietly urging him never, ever to give up. Kevin soaks it up a like a punishment sponge, breaking out into sweat and screwing up his gorgeous face in agony, but refusing to give to punishing hold after punishing hold.
While Kevin is clearly a rookie, this is also, obviously, not his first rodeo. Axel didn’t teach him that neck wrenching standing full nelson, nor the silky smooth transition to the mat for a full nelson/scissors combination. And even more impressive, that glaring, gloating, crotch-ripping spladle he applies wasn’t on Axel’s menu either. He demonstrates his quick mastery of each of Axel’s demonstrations, as well. He locks down that elbow snapping armbar like he’s been doing for it for years. And that single leg crab with a twisting ball claw chaser? Yeah, Axel’s inner heel shows through, monologuing how he hates to play it dirty, but feels “compelled” to introduce the newbie to the darker side of what he may face in underground matches. But even that, quick-study-Kev eventually circles back around and shows coach he was taking notes, grinding the fuck out of Axel’s testicles and making him scream.
The star of the show for me, however, isn’t Axel, and it isn’t Kevin’s gorgeous face or surprising flair for cranking on the punishment. It’s that magnificent ass escaping the confines of his suction packed trunks over and over again.
Holy fuck, I had to text my buddy who recommended that I check Kevin out and lament that this review was taking me forever to write because Kevin’s ass keeps distracting me. Don’t get me wrong, he’s gorgeous from head to toe. The world has been sorely lacking in seriously competitive, incredibly handsome, Asian muscleboy homoerotic wrestlers, and Kevin is every one of those descriptors. His quads are monsters, and the heft and jiggle of his relaxed pecs make me drool. And that bulge! Fuck, it’s no wonder Axel gets his hands on that prominent package so early in the game. But the showstopper here is that magnificent, muscled, round ass.
Coach is harder on the new kid than he probably needs to be, strictly speaking, but adorably eager Kevin leaves on very good terms with Axel. My perpetual suspicion that Axel is going to bully his way into another lopsided squash over someone completely outmatched is unwarranted. Like me, the face of UCW appears to see a whole lot of promise in young Kevin Lin, and just like I’d like to do, he offers the kid a shoulder to lean on as they make their way to the locker room post-match (I’d have also pulled out the baby oil to massage out those kinks and tight muscles). There’s a raw edge to this hazing that keeps the heat at a sizzling simmer, but it stays true to the genre of an enthusiastic breaking in of a dazzlingly beautiful, fantastically fit muscleboy with more enthusiasm than know-how.
But sure as kids’ gotta learn, there will be coaches with just a leading edge of sadistic joy in teaching them. I’m instantly a Kevin Lin fan, and I’m praying to the homoerotic wrestling gods that we get to see all of that beauty and wrestling potential unleashed in a wrestling ring sometime soon, and not as some wilting lotus flower of a stereotype, but as an honest to the homoerotic wrestling gods bulging beefcake with a taste for putting on the hurt. If Axel honestly takes him under his wing and shows him the ropes, holy fuck, watch out boys. There are a couple of monster quads on their way that will seriously fuck you up. In the meantime, my gratitude to Axel (and my apologies for continuing to doubt his sincerity) for repeatedly and persistently showing off the very, very, very best sides of muscleboy rookie Kevin Lin!