Perusing the list of June new releases in homoerotic wrestling, I was seriously torn as to who I wanted to pick for homoerotic wrestler of the month. Honestly, I was agonizing about this choice way, way more than a totally subjective, ultimately meaningless recognition like this deserves. I was charmed and turned on by so many wrestling hunks in June. There were so many former HWOTM title holders in the mix, it was guaranteed to be a tough call. But then, finally, a comment on this blog brought it all into focus for me. Someone complained that, in his opinion, I focus far too much on twinks. In fact, if I keep focusing so much on twinks, this commentator warned that he may have to stop reading neverland. Twinks, twinks, twinks, just too many twinks. And then my choice for homoerotic wrestler of the month came into crystal clear focus. My homoerotic wrestler of the month for June 2016 is…
As I’ve mentioned several times, these 4 gorgeous wrestlers put together a sensational tag team drama in BG East’s Tag Team Torture 19 that simultaneously tickled my funny bone and turned me on. They successfully construct a compelling drama rife with extravagant attitude and sweet suspense. I doubt that any of these 4 handsome studs were born when I was watching the loud, larger than life, character-driven pro wrestling of indy pro wrestling in the 1980s. Yet, somehow their tag team showdown grabbed precisely that nostalgia and wedded it seamlessly with 2016 sensibilities and technology. While my choice may irk each and every one of these fine specimens (it is hard to imagine Ty Alexander “sharing” anything at all, isn’t it?), I honestly couldn’t isolate any one performance in TTT19 as the pivotal, standout contribution to this pivotal, standout ensemble. Only twice before have I named more than one hunk as HWOTM, and never have I named as many as 4 co-title winners. But I’m feeling really, really good about this decision. So if you’re tired of me getting off on adorable, lean, lithe, lickably sweet twinks, pucker up and kiss my ass, because I’m lauding 4 of them.
One of the two newbies in the quartet of HWOTM winners, ginger house-on-fire Charlie Evans earned his spot on the dais based on several factors. First, his opening handstand headscissors snap mare is a work of art. It’s acrobatic and extravagant and incredibly confident. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before in a homoerotic wrestling match, and I’m crazy hot for a newbie who pulls off high quality, high impact innovation right out of the gate. And then when Charlie weathers a boatload of double-team brutality from Team Vanity, my admiration and crush on crushable Charlie steadily grows.
Frankly, I don’t really think of any of the other 3 winners this month as twinks, but Charlie? Of fuck, yes, I’d consider him an incredibly tasty twink morsel, and, clearly, I’m an unapologetic fan of Charlie’s smooth, lean body. Charlie embodies something delicately vulnerable, so lightweight that his opponents repeatedly manhandle him like a sack of potatoes. At 130 pounds, he simply doesn’t have the mass and thickness that most wrestlers use for leverage in the ring. But then again, Charlie appears made out of kevlar. Blow after blow, potentially crippling hold after hold, body slam after body slam, the ginger twink takes the hits and just keeps clawing his way back up for more. I expect big, big things out of lovely, little Charlie Evans, and I’ve got no qualms at all about him sitting his fine, fine ass on the throne as HWOTM.
Christian Taylor is no stranger to the HWOTM winner’s sash. In the current quartet of HWOTM winners, Christian represents the most BG East experience, though most of that has been on the mats rather than in the ring. He’s also a standout in the crowd, standing a full half a foot taller than Charlie and taller than both members of Team Vanity. Christian grabbed the reins in the HWOTM race right around the moment when he and Charlie have cleaned house in the opening minutes of the match, full of contempt for their selfie-obsessed opponents. They each grab one of their opponents’ mobile phones and populate the photo libraries of Ty and Chase with the All-Americans’ own handsome mugs. But then Christian takes it one step further, instructing Charlie to follow his lead in taking photos down the front of their own trunks to give the narcissists some humiliation to suck on later. Babyface dicks? Fuck yes, this is homoerotic wrestling done right!
Christian’s ripped torso takes my breath away. If pressed to apply a label, I’d put him securely in the “jock” category. He sexes up everything he touches, and if there’s one misstep in TTT19, it’s the absence of Christian’s signature move, a long, wet, soul sucking lip lock (like seriously, show Charlie some lovin’ for taking that beating solo!). But what Christian does bring is a body to die for, a face to launch a thousand ships, and sensationally sexy focus both dishing out and soaking up pro punishment. He deserved it the first time Christian earned the HWOTM title, and he abundantly earns it again.
Chase Addams is the other rookie debut in TTT19, and like I said to Chase, he looks damned seasoned in his first BG East match. It would be easy to get overshadowed being the tag team partner of Ty Alexander (I think we can all agree on that, can’t we?). However, Chase carves out plenty of ring space all his own, both working independently and working off of the Trophy Boy. Chase’s full-throated commitment to his half of Team Vanity’s narcissist-off-the-rails narrative is outstanding. In the opening moments of this match, I was worried that the sexy newbie would be all flash and no go. Then he gets his turn sinking his claws deep into his babyface opponents, and… oh, fuck, no, he’s got plenty of go.
But it’s Chase’s chickenwing suspended backbreaker (or, what? fuck I haven’t seen anything quite like this before) on Christian that finally convinces me that Chase is the real deal. The precision and execution of this hold is incredible. Is Chase a twink, however? I’m not really sure what silo to throw him into. He’s got a little too much muscle, and he’s way too much of a badass for me to think of him as a twink. He’s not hard enough, probably not yet toned enough to fit neatly in the jock category. He is pretty, though, and effortlessly sexy. I’d do body shots off his salted nipples in a heartbeat. So I’m fine with Chase without, as yet, possessing a label, but if you need something to call him, just call him homoerotic wrestler of the month.
Finally, there’s Trohpy Boy Ty Alexander rounding out this foursome. This is Ty’s second drink at the HWOTM watering hole. And in TTT19, he is the “Ty-est” he’s ever been. There’s always been at least a glimpse of a narcissist in Ty’s wrestling resume, but he showed up for TTT19 in full bloom. He’s self-obsessed, raunchy, rowdy, and vicious as hell. There’s something quintessentially “Ty” about leaving your trunks pulled down your thonged asscheeks for nearly the entire match, for the sole reason that you possess Ty’s bronzed bubble butt. The Team Vanity versus the All-Americans stage dressing on TTT19 would have fundamentally fallen short if Ty had been any less extreme, any less over the top. And this is not a failure, by any means.
And let’s be clear, I think Ty’s got a hot body (if you aren’t convinced, just ask him). Just like the evolution of his dangerously skilled narcissist character, Ty’s been beefing up and presenting a fitter physique in each and every match. The unapologetic narcissist in pro wrestling is pretty much guaranteed, almost by definition, to generate its own contrapuntal. Ty titillates and provokes in ways that are deceptively and carefully calculated. If you already think Ty is a hot piece of ass, then I need not argue the point further. However, if Ty irritates you, if he sort of pisses you off, if you find yourself filled with contempt for him, thinking out loud that he’s just not as hot as he thinks he is, and if, in response, you find yourself wanting to see his Trophy Boy ass beaten and humiliated because he’s just too self-obsessed, too confident, too convinced of his devastating good looks, then, again I say, Ty has done his job. That’s what pro wrestling narcissists do, they provoke you into crushing on them or aching to see them get their asses beat, which Ty does better than almost anyone. So, yeah, love him or hate him, Ty’s a chart topper and provides absolutely essential ingredients to TTT19 that earn him his full share of the HWOTM title.
So it’s an unconventional choice, but as I’ve explained often, it’s my choice. I know what I like, and that’s all this blog has been about for over seven years. You may have made a different choice, and you’re welcome to start your own blog and do just that, but here, and now, I’m more than satisfied with selecting 4 lovely, lithe, lean, handsome, delicious young studs as co-winners of the title of HWOTM for June 2016.
June 2016 Homoerotic Wrestlers of the Month: Christian Taylor, Charlie Evans, Ty Alexander, and Chase Addams