The size of my excitement for the release of Ring Rookies 5 is HUGE. I have choice words to say about all 3 matches, but the first match on the collection gets the credit for most of my massive excitement. Both Charlie Evans and Chase Addams have held my lustful attention both by impressing the fuck out of me in their dual debut tag team match last summer, as well as by charming the pants off of me in interviews afterward. Both boys are virtually dripping with youth and ambition. Each in his own way embodies outrageously attractive earnestness and downright devotion to the science and art of professional wrestling. I’ve been eagerly awaiting both boys’ follow-up matches after making such notable debuts in 2016. And there’s already a grudge to get this ball rolling. FUCK, I love backstory. I love a grudge. I love character motivation and a well-told story. And I go absolutely nuts for all of that successfully executed by two doe-eyed babies with fully formed personalities and seriously deep wrestling arsenals.
When it comes to fuckability, I’ll take one of each of these hot little cuts of veal. Actually, I’ll take two of Charlie, because he’s small. Which makes it that much more of a cheek that the ginger phenom is smirking like the Cheshire Cat, downright gloating to start things off, still basking in the afterglow of securing a debut ring victory as one half of the All-American babyface heroes from Tag Team Torture 19. True, he’s physically dwarfed by Chase’s 40 pound (or thereabouts) advantage in weight. But Charlie is so sensationally puffed up and proud of himself, squaring off against an opponent who, last he saw, was flat on his back, out cold, and suffering a totally humiliating defeat at the hands of the All-Americans. There’s something so upright and earnest about Charlie, that it makes it that much more delightful to observe him catch the whiff of fresh meat in his rookie rival. He beat him once, he argues, so he’s entirely confident that he can do it again.
Charming Chase is none too pleased to hear Charlie claiming credit for having beaten him at the end of TTT19. Apparently, Chase’s ego is strong enough to admit to being defeated by the long, handsome hotness of seasoned veteran Christian Taylor serving as Charlie’s tag team partner. But it gets under Chase’s skin to see the ginger flyweight all full of swagger and cockiness as if he gets any credit at all for that debut loss. The table is thus set. Without their tag team partners to rely on (or, in Chase’s case, get pissed off at), which of these ambitious, studious, sincere-as-fuck young studs is the better man, here at the start of their careers?
As an avid fan of both of these hotties, I’m torn. On the one hand, Charlie is too fucking good to believe. Did you read that interview I did with him?! He makes Dudley Do-right look like a homicidal crack whore. By the time I was done with my sit-down with the ginger newbie, I felt like I needed to wrap him up in cellophane and put him upon a shelf so that he wouldn’t melt from an errant splash of water, he was just that fucking sweet. So a doe-eyed, alabaster complexioned, flyweight pretty boy with that little guile and that much sincerity has got just one of two futures in store for him in a world like BG East. He’s either going to be the bug on the windshield, squashed over and over and over again into oblivion, or he’s going to snap and turn into a bubbling cauldron of bitterness and viciousness. He’s either doomed, day in and day out, or he’s going to be ripping balls off and shoving them down some throats before too long. He doesn’t seem to see it, but I can’t help but think that enough time in pro wrestling, exploited and bullied and cheated left and right by the heels circling every rare babyface at BGE, and those high flying, high risk moves of his are going to be accompanied by deeply sadistic, bully-bashing rage once he comes eye to eye with that inevitable reality that cheaters don’t just prosper in this business, they fucking rule.
So, on the one hand, I’m pulling hard for Charlie to break open that full force can of whoop ass with which, I predict, he has a date with destiny. On the other hand, I really, really want to take Charming Chase out for a test drive on and open track and see just how much damage this prodigy of wrestling holds can do. I’m still, to this day, 10 months later, shaking my head and gasping at his Will Breaker that he whipped out of nowhere and tied up Christian Taylor with in TTT19. Where the FUCK does a debuting rookie get a move like that to slap down in the chaos and craziness of a tag team match?! Even in his grudge sequel to the tag team match, in which he settles the score with the shattered remains of his partnership with Ty Alexander, there’s something coldly calculating about Chase. He’s supremely in control of himself. He’s wound up tight as a drum. He likes to put the hurt on, but I don’t know that I’ve seen him love it yet. So, yeah, I’m wanting to see Charming Chase really, really sink his teeth in deep and love the taste of a dominating ring beatdown.
Charlie and Chase deliver everything that I’m hoping for, even as ambivalent as those hopes are. Unfortunately for Chase, Charlie seems to ride the momentum from their last encounter into the opening minutes of Ring Rookies 5. Chase tries bullying the little guy about a bit, but with decisiveness and pristine, youthful confidence, young Charlie suddenly shocks and awes the shit out of his bigger opponent. There’s a studied patience about Charlie’s offense that I love watching. He knows he isn’t delivering any finishing blows seconds in, with his 128 pounds of whittled bone and muscle. But he isn’t trying to put him away. With wisdom significantly beyond his years, he’s softening the Charming One up. He drives body blocks and splashes bluntly into Chase’s torso, backed into a corner and receiving flyweight blow after blow. When Chase has been bulldogged into the middle of the ring, Charlie repeatedly bounces off the ropes and does mid-air summersaults, allowing gravity and centripetal force to pound his paperweight of a body surgically into Chase’s gut, again, and again. “I call this the Ginger Bomb!” Charlie crows, as excited to name his innovations as his opponent is. There’s nothing devastating like a sledgehammer about them. Charlie’s just too slight of frame. But every shoulder block, every Ginger Bomb, chips away bit by bit at Chase’s reserves. With his opponent thus dazed and sucking on air, Charlie expertly positions Chase for that fucking fabulous Ginger Snap that he debuted in TTT19. Honestly, it’s gorgeous. Handstand. Headscissors. Charlie jackknives violently, yanking Chase by the base of the skull, off his feet, flipping through the air and slamming violently down on his back. Damn. Once Charlie is seduced by the dark side, the rest of you boys at BG East had better watch your backs!
And then Charlie snaps his skinny legs (his term, not mine) around Chase’s torso and squeezes whimpers out of his completely dazed opponent. Charlie arches high, bearing down like a mother fucker on Chase’s kidneys, and showing of his own gorgeous, smooth form. It’s like poetry, watching him twist violently to the side and roll Chase head over heels all around the ring. It’s gloating and domineering. It’s gratuitous and just a little gleeful. By the time he folds up all 6 feet of Charming Chase up in half and pins his shoulders to the mat, there’s one undeniable fact laid bare in the middle of that ring: Charlie Evans just executed the long game to out-hustle and, yes, out-muscle a significantly bigger opponent and score what can only be described as a shocking first fall pin.
I say “shocking,” because just like me, Charming Chase cannot fucking believe what just happened. “No, no, no, no, that did NOT just happen!” Chase roars, face blood red, charging to his feet after Charlie lets him go. “I did NOT just lose to you!” he insists. “Oh,” Charlie downright smirks in his face, “it happened. You were there. I was there. It happened.” Savor that moment of condescension, Charlie. When you’re teetering on the edge of turning full on evil, sometime soon I hope, just remember that taste, my ginger bon bon.
Rage in the pro wrestling ring is a double edged sword. Many a wrestler has been so blinded by vengeful rage in the ring that a savvy opponent has turned that passion right back onto itself, exploiting the rush to judgment and easy fixes to string the bull up for good in the end. When Chase starts beating the fuck out of little Charlie, I’m withholding judgment as to whether this is the tide turning, or simply the means to the Charming One’s undoing, yet again. In the mean time, Chase scoops, slams, and stomps the living shit out of the ginger flyweight. It makes sense to exploit a height and weight advantage, but there’s something bitterly cruel about the bell ringing he delivers. I honestly think he may snap Charlie’s arm off at the elbow in one of Chase’s infinite armbar variations. It makes Charlie’s tenor scream piercingly in panic. “What’s wrong?” the dastardly rookie heel taunts. “I thought you were the big hero of this story!”
I am in awe watching Chase get down to business. No tag team partner to joist egos with. No fresh opponent waiting on the apron. The Charming One just starts carving Charlie up like a super lean Thanksgiving turkey. He twists and ties, wrenches and rips him joint by joint. When he pries a screaming submission out with that Will Breaker again, it is every bit as awesome and mystifying as the first time I saw it. Such total vulnerability. Such complete torture. If you’re like me, your cock will demand that you push rewind and watch the spider spin that web again, but you don’t even have to. About 10 minutes later, Chase ties Charlie up in that Will Breaker all over again.
Without having to share the stage, Chase demonstrates he knows a whole lot more tricks than we were treated to in TTT19. But that piece that I’ve been anxiously waiting to see from Chase, just the slightest release of his iron grip control over himself that he has, is the real revelation in this match. If I was left wondering if Chase more than just “likes” to make another man hurt, I’m not wondering any longer. He practically pours a glass of Charlie’s screaming tears and savors them like rare wine. When Charlie is good and tenderized, choking on his own humiliation and impotence, Chase hovers over him, lingering a little. He leans down across his back and looks like he’s nibbling on Charlie’s ear. He palms the ginger’s shoulder. Then his hand slides down Charlie’s brightly bruised back. With his other hand, he strokes the back of Charlie’s calf, sliding his fingers up the smooth inner thigh, before digging the tips of his fingers indulgently into Charlie’s vulnerable, tasty ass cheeks. No doubt, Chase wants the check in the victory column. He wants the win, and I am fully convinced he wants it with a passion. But even more exciting to watch, he wants that feel of an opponent laid bare underneath him. He wants a hot, tight, athletic, aesthetic body like Charlie’s to be at his mercy. He wants Charlie.
There are high drama reversals of fortune. There’s a life lesson learned by Charlie about going to the well one too many times for that magnificent Ginger Snap. And without a doubt, there’s exactly one rookie with his score settled, and his opponent out cold and rode hard, when this is all said and done.
I know I use the word too often, and I’ve used it way too often in this review already, but I just have to repeat myself: FUCK! Charlie and Chase are so deeply respectful of the genre of professional wrestling. They quite clearly enter their careers with adamant respect for how wrestling works, how it possesses its fans, how it engages us heart, soul, mind, and cock. Honestly, in half of homoerotic wrestling matches these days, you can count the number of unique holds applied on one hand. And then these sensationally tasty young bucks step into the ring and put on a wrestling clinic like this!
And I’ve restrained myself thus far, but I have to conclude with saying yet again, these guys are sexy as fuck. Chase’s body is meaty and provocative, and those nipples I’ve crushed on before exponentiate the raw eroticism of this highly technical match. And Charlie’s sweet little ass is so sensational. I know there are bigger glutes. There are heftier bubble butts by far. But the gentle curve of Charlie’s alabaster ass is so proportional, so graceful. If the dark side of the Force doesn’t take him soon, that beautiful piece of art has got to get unwrapped and chomped on, because that ass has got to be driving some opponent as crazy as it is me.
Outstanding work by two friends of this blog. And yet again, I can’t wait to see more of Charming Chase Addams’ passion. And I’m anticipating with every breath that moment when the dark side seduces Charlie Evans to suckle on the bitter rage that such total humiliation and degradation will inevitably lead him to.