Sleeping Through the Alarm

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Mutant is massive.

Look at this,” Mutant flashes his gargantuan biceps. “I’m the best in the ring. Look at these arms!?” he marvels almost disbelievingly at his own magnificence.  Mutant is, indeed, a marvel. There’s something almost too big about him, like he’s wearing an inflatable muscle suit. But time and time again, tested and not infrequently bested in the wrestling ring, we’ve seen abundant proof that everything about Mutant is grade A beef, ready to be tenderized and chewed up.

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Muscle Master Kevin puts the big man out cold. Repeatedly.

Of course a physique star who presumes to monologue that he’s “the best in the ring” is going to garner the attention of Muscle Domination Wrestling top heels, and there are none topper than Muscle Master Kevin himself.  Kevin can be seen sliding into the ring quietly behind Mutant as the beefcake poses for the camera. Suddenly, Kevin slides his gloved hand across the muscle man’s mouth, pinching his nose, completely cutting off all sources of oxygen to feed his hungry mutant muscles. “Look at those arms, indeed,” Kevin smirks, smothering the stunned muscle stud and quickly making Mutant’s knees buckle. “Look at those muscles go nice and limp.” When I say Mutant goes out quickly, I mean really, really, quickly.  Kevin says that he has “special gloves” guaranteed to make short order of a massive mountain of muscle like Mutant. Perhaps there’s a little chloroform on them, because Mutant drops like a sack of potatoes with astonishing speed. He’s out. Way out, and flat on his back with Kevin posing over top of him and trash talking like only MMK can.

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Mutant’s deflated muscles highlight Kevin’s hot, flexed beef.

Kevin impatiently urges Mutant to gather his wits about him as he rouses. “I want to see those cocky muscles deflate time and time again.” And that sentence, my friends, is the cliff notes to this match.  If you want to see a mountain of muscle go limp over and over, Zzzz 4 is right up your alley.  Kevin enjoys applying a half a dozen or more variations on sleepers and chokes, tipping giant Mutant over the edge of unconsciousness repeatedly.  Like a cat playing with an all-but-dead mouse, MMK exercises complete control of his prey for his (and our) sadistic delight.

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Brutalizing a helpless muscle phenom.

The payoff for wrestling fans isn’t just the repeated sleepers, though I know plenty of homoerotic wrestling fans with a special kink for watching that money shot of a powerful gladiator going limp and helpless. For my money, I also enjoy the humiliation of watching Kevin exploit his often slowly rousing, sometimes still completely out cold “opponent,” applying vicious holds, dragging the barely clad beauty across the ring, hanging him like drapes from the ropes.  It’s not like a full nelson or a kneeling surfboard are technically “offense” in this scenario, because Mutant is toast from start to finish.  He’s not being “worn down” by these brutal, joint wrenching, soul crushingly painful manipulations of his magnificent body.  It’s just gravy, with MMK milking the muscle exploitation theme for every ounce of homoerotic wrestling nutrition you’re hungering for.

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Mutant, literally, sleepwalks through this match almost from start to finish.

I have one buyer beware caution, and one catty bitch complaint to level, because Zzzz 4 does a whole lot for me, but there are a couple of distractions.  First my word of caution. If one-sided  muscle squashes leave you limp, this, like most of MMK’s matches, are not your cup of tea.  There are moments when the extremely up-close camera work here catches Mutant looking a little less like he’s dazed and a little more like he’s a little bored with his sorry lot in this match. Honestly, when was the last time Kevin was on camera in even the slightest jeopardy? I think his parallel industries of muscle domination kink and muscle domination wrestling kink seriously limit what Kevin can offer wrestling fans, because he seems constitutionally self-prohibited from being at risk on camera.  I pretty much get it.  Before he was wresting, Kevin was seducing hardcore fanatics of being dominated by a blue eyed babyfaced muscle god with (literally) in your face psychological and physical intimidation. His bread and butter has long been stroking the kink of those who want to be dominated by him, who want to be conquered by his bulging muscles and torrent of trash talk, who are slack-jawed betas to his persistent “alpha dog” performance art. I have to imagine it could damage the brand in that arena for fans to see him lose, hell, even suffer a little in the wrestling ring. So yeah, I get it. MMK on offense, in total control, dominating and destroying and taking full possession of a magnificent muscle specimen is part of the entire MMK empire.  But you know me, and I know at least some of you, so if you’ve been waiting for MDW and MMK in particular to wade deeper into the drama of wrestling competition storytelling, keep waiting.

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Call the homoerotic wrestling fashion police!!!!!!

And I feel like I’m being bitchy when I say for the second time in a handful of weeks that there’s a major gear fail that’s distracting me.  It’s not the barely there leopard print jock strap that Mutant is bulging out of, of course.  It’s the not-so-tighty off-whities that Kevin has donned for this match.  They’re gathered, elasticized, built for sucking tight to a hot bod like designer briefs do. The only problem is that they’re a size too big for Kevin. They sag in all the wrong places. Kevin has undergone some impressive muscle reformation in the past year of so, so perhaps this is symptom of his wardrobe still catching up to his redistribution of muscle and mass.  But these briefs give the unfortunate (and false) impression that Kevin has no ass, and the bunching and gathering at the legs cast an illusion that his hunky, hairy thighs are somehow skinny and underdeveloped.  Let me reiterate here, before MMK fans grab their pitchforks (too late, I’m sure), that I adore Kevin’s body.  I’ve offered to suck Kev’s mouthwatering nipples raw and worship his bulges and peaks for days, and to his credit, Kevin confirmed that if a certain blogger ever found his way into his ring, he might just have to make that happen. So I am not complaining about anything at all about Kevin’s hot, bulging body. It’s just those fucking briefs!

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Mutant is ripped and helpless for your pleasure.

Like your cat, Kevin lays his conquered prey out and proudly displays for you, his fanatical audience, the prize. Mutant is, indeed, a sight for sore eyes, all of that superhuman muscle brutalized, owned, and defenseless at Kevin’s feet. And clearly there’s not been nearly enough of a neverland reader campaign to demand that blogger muscle worship session that Kevin teased when I interviewed him a couple of years ago.  As is so often the case, this MDW new release doesn’t do everything for me, but it does do some things very well. Now, let’s burn those fucking briefs and get MMK a (blogger) stylist.

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MDW puts you right where you want to be.

Just Wrestle

This will surprise no one, but I begin today’s post with the premise that I like male bodies.  A lot.  I like them in a variety of incarnations, proportions, hues, and composition. There are certainly specific male bodies that I don’t like, but the collection of bodies that fall into the “like” category are varied.

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Produced by Greenwood/Cooper, Director Tom Kurthy, released 1994

Early in my exploration of the homoerotic wrestling universe (that sort of makes me feel like Captain Kirk), I found the Greenwood/Cooper produced video “Wrestle” in my enlightened “home video store” (wow, now I’m feeling old).  I felt rather daring picking it up off the shelf and paying to rent the provocative VHS based on the promotional jacket.

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The product description on the back reads, “Competition wrestlers, pitted against each other in combat, strain their tight, sinewy, well-muscled bodies and their indomitable wills to bring you an experience of unequaled beauty and force.”  Uh, yeah.  This was at a time when I was a lot more cautious about outing myself, but there was no way I wasn’t going to slap down $3 to study this work of art for every second of the 3 day rental.  I’m pretty sure I skipped at least a couple of my graduate school classes to get every penny’s worth out of “Wrestle.”  It was soft core, set in and beside Roman baths. The wrestlers were young and gorgeous. As I remember, the wrestling pairs started in posing straps or towels wrapped around their waists, but most of the action was entirely naked, presenting for anyone who appreciates the male body 6 spectacular specimens entirely unadorned and videographed in intimate, up close detail. The combat was highly stylized, severely restricted by tile mosaic floors. It came across to me like perfectly pitched performance art, presenting my deepest fantasies in fantastical and inciting beauty.

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I strongly suspect that were I to set down with “Wrestle” again, I wouldn’t be nearly as awed as I was in those early days.  My homoerotic wrestling library needs a new wing built onto my home these days, and the novelty that made me dizzy in soaking in “Wrestle” many years ago just isn’t as compelling for me today, in and of itself.  Then I again, whether or not it’s the nostalgia talking, I think I may try to track it down again, if for no other reason than sometimes what I really, really want to watch is two beautiful, powerful, entirely naked male bodies locked in combat.  And surprisingly, considering the size of my library, it isn’t always easy to find.

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Landon Conrad wrestles naked with Alex Adams at Naked Kombat.

I think Naked Kombat comes closest to stoking that nostalgia I feel as I think about my experience of discovering “Wrestle.” When the NK pornboys finally rip each other’s gear off and go to town entirely naked, there’s a depth of intimacy and vulnerability that makes the physical combat that much more captivating as a spectator.  Naked Kombat is hardcore, however, and the artistry and beauty so appropriately named in the product description of “Wrestle” take a back seat (or perhaps just tenuously being towed along in a trailer far behind) to the sex and fury.  Not that I don’t get off on NK sex and fury frequently.  But NK is a different breed than “Wrestle.”

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Z-Man and Jake Jenkins are homoerotic wrestling art.

Some homoerotic wrestling producers manage to capture the “beauty and force” that “Wrestle” managed, but steer clear of the daring genre of pitting their wrestlers against one another naked.  Rock Hard Wrestling, Movimus, and Thunder’s Arena come to mind, playing on the relative innocence and innuendo of old school soft core like “Wrestle.”  Thunder’s is playful and specializes in beautiful muscle, but their playfulness and tongue-in-cheek score low on the earnestness meter. RHW’s commitment to video production quality makes me think more of the earnestness of the camera angles in “Wrestle.”  Both “Wrestle” director Kurthy and the production crew at RHW clearly have a commitment to artistically document the living sculpture that is beautiful male bodies grappling. But a full 20 years after “Wrestle” was produced, RHW does so with a more demure tack, letting the homoeroticism be conveyed primarily by the viewing eyes, and not stepping into the hetero-iconoclastic territory of full-on naked bodies.

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Brian Bodine and Rusty Stevens briefly grapple naked in their full-throttle Arena match to see who gets fucked.

Can-Am and BG East both feature naked wrestlers, and again, both get my engine running hot. However, neither of the big boys in the business tweak that nostalgia (or stroke the still valid sweet spot) that “Wrestle” did.  Like NK, Can-Am tends to cast pornboys, and the naked chapter of the combat is too often all too briefly sandwiched between geared wrestling and the post-match fucking. Some of Can-Am’s Arena series featured the wrestlers in naked falls, but even as satisfying as it is, for example, watching Rusty Stevens and Aryx Quinn crushing one another nude, the surprisingly brief moment between combat and full throttle sexual content is simply a different animal than the hour or so of pure and simple naked wrestling in “Wrestle.”

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Gear Wars 4 briefly turns naked wrestling for Skip Vance and Trey Dixon.

BG East is always right in my wheelhouse for their earnestness, but theirs is an earnestness about the integrity of wrestling itself.  “Wrestle” advertises as “competition wrestler pitted against each other in combat,” but BG East much more legitimately owns the current scene with regard to experienced, accomplished, enthusiastic wrestlers in their matches than just about anyone else producing (Cameron Matthews is making a strong play for that market lately, however).  But I’m hard pressed to think of a BG East match that simply lets two “well-muscled bodies” wrestle naked for very long. In the new release, Gear Fetish 4, Skip Vance and Trey Dixon (current homoerotic wrestler of the month for this match) slowly trade for skimpier and skimpier gear until the last fall is fully naked. But that last fall lasts, what, 45 seconds?  Not that I can blame the boys for being clearly driven to distraction by the full throttle fetish arousal they’d worked up to a lather by that point, but it’s not a “naked wrestling” product, in the sense I’m musing on today.

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MDW is teasing naked bodybuilder wrestling in upcoming Oil Hunks 4, featuring full monty Specimen and Mutant.

Nakedness does appear more frequently at Muscle Domination Wrestling lately, and there’s a particularly enticing teaser of Thunder’s Arena bodybuilder alums Mutant and Specimen appearing to be about to wrestle entirely naked in the ring in their upcoming season.  MDW’s commitment to the narrative, though, along with a lower production quality than most of the producers today, makes me think that as surely as I will be pulling up a table to feast on naked bodybuilders grappling in Oil Hunks 4, it won’t quite tweak the “experience of unequaled beauty and force” that “Wrestle” did for me.

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The more I muse, the more I think that I’m caught by nostalgia. It may have been less about Greenwood/Cooper’s “Wrestle” itself, or the 6 hot hunks who starred in it, or the setting or camera angles or lighting, than it was about me, 20 years ago, in a different time and place, with a different perspective, exploring something new and titillating and dangerous and novel.  I’ll definitely have to find me a copy of “Wrestle” to sort this out.  Then again, if I saw this DVD cover in a store today, I’d snap it up for 20 times the price I rented it 20 years ago.

Friday Fashion

I often wonder if Friday Fashion voting is mostly about the wrestlers or the fashions. So last week’s polls pitting the same wrestlers against one another in multiple fashions seemed like it might possibly uncover non-fashion related biases (for example, if everyone voted a party line ballot for every gear choice). My faith in democracy is restored now that I see each of the vote counts was different. There was a decisive victor overall, but neither muscle hunk won all the battles. Here’s the tally by the numbers.
vlcsnap-2014-07-18-09h53m23s139Between Chace Lachance and Mutant, you decisively declared (101 – 22) that Chace wore the black leather trunks best.  Whether his choice to leave the top unzipped biased your votes, we’ll never know, but I would hardly classify that pandering as out of bounds for this blog.  Nicely worn, Chace!

vlcsnap-2014-07-18-09h37m14s169The stars and stripes trunk vote was much closer (65 – 45), but once again it was hairy hottie Chace earning the most votes and making readers line up behind that gorgeous body.

vlcsnap-2014-07-18-09h39m26s227The red thong vote took me just a little by surprise, because I honestly thought Mutant packed that pouch much more solidly, but the majority stuck with Chace in a commanding victory (77 – 33).  I see what you’re talking about, mind you.  Chace is a vision.

mutantHowever, when it came to that daring black and blue lace up leotard, Mutant pulled out the respectable victory (59 – 44). Personally, I’d argue that no one actually looks “good” in this gear and that we should never, ever see the sight of it on a homoerotic wrestler ever again.  But for as long as we did in Oil Hunks 3, it was smooth and sexy Mutant’s massive bulges that made that fashion-don’t as good as it could get.

vlcsnap-2014-07-18-09h41m19s78Mutant’s victory was short-lived as Chace promptly spanked those muscled glutes of his when it came to the cheetah-print thong (75-30).  I honestly thought Mutant’s magnificent ass was going to make this particular poll much closer, but I suspect Chace’s cocky attitude helps make this very little slice of a whole lot of heaven all about him.

vlcsnap-2014-07-18-10h40m11s55I wasn’t surprised a bit that Chace overwhelmingly won approval (79-20) for his wearing of the tarzan tie-strap thong, because everything about this works in his favor. The fact that he was the one who mentioned that this look makes him feel like Tarzan only helps to sell just how completely he owns the look.  As one commenter put it, “Chace can bring his Tarzan act to my treehouse anytime!”

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So we didn’t even need the full on naked tie-breaker, because Chace commandingly owned the fashion wars with Mutant by taking 5 out of the 6 polls. While Chace doesn’t fair quite so well by the end of Oil Hunks 3 as he does in the fashion arena, no one loses when it comes to these two impeccably sculpted, sizzlingly hot muscle hunks pleasing fans in and outside of the ring.

I had a new Friday Fashion poll to post, but my poll widget appears broken. So you’ll have to express your fashion sense by leaving a comment.  Who’s got the hottest fashion sense in homoerotic wrestling these days, do you think?

Friday Fashion

Fashion plays a major role in the dramas of a couple of different new homoerotic wrestling releases.  In Muscle Domination Wrestling’s newest season, Chace LaChance and giant rookie Mutant face off, repeatedly changing gear to demonstrate who looks hottest.  Even more enticingly for wrestling fashionistas, both of these muscle beasts give solo fashion shows pre-match to whet our appetites, and I for one, am drooling uncontrollably.  Almost by definition, Oil Hunks 3 insists on a series of fashion comparisons.  Chace and Mutant have clearly formed opinions about who wore each piece of gear best.  But here at neverland, it’s a tyranny of the majority of homoerotic wrestling fans who rule.  So let’s take a look at both boys strutting their stuff in the same gear during and before their Oil Hunks 3 collision.  Noting that you have 6 votes to cast below, you decide, gear by gear, who wore it best.

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Chace LaChance rocked very brief black leather trunks, opting to leave the tops unzipped a little to let you follow his treasure trail.
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Mutant sports the same black leather briefs fully loaded.
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Chace tugs at the side of the Stars and Stripes full briefs.
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Mutant opts for a sideways single bicep to highlight the bulge.
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Chace goes full-on forward, daring you to take your eyes off his hairy muscles barely covered by the red thong.
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Mutant puckers up and gives his freakishly hot, smooth body some loving, framed so beautifully in the same red thong.
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The black and blue lace-up leotard was a bold fashion choice, but Chace is all in and bulging beautifully in it.
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Not to be out-bulged, Mutant wears the same leotard out with the massive beef hanging off his bones.
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Chace invites your lustful appraisal of him in a cheetah print thong.
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For your full consideration, Chace also shows off the cheetah print thong from behind.

 

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Mutant stares you down, tugging seductively at the sides of the same cheetah print thong.
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Not to be outdone, Mutant shows off his astonishing backside in the cheetah print thong as well.

 

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Chace says this tie-strap thong makes him feel like Tarzan.
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The same tie-on thong makes Mutant feel like flexing.

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Finally, when it comes to comparing who wore nothing at all the best, Mutant is a forfeit. He did all of his wardrobe changes off camera, leaving the undisputed and richly deserving title of who wore nothing at all best to the devastatingly sexy, hairy, muscle bound, nude beauty of Chace LaChance!

 

 

 

The Tease

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The Best Tease: Mr. Joshua Goodman

I love/hate a hot tease. I think the best/worst tease in homoerotic wrestling continues to be Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!), for constantly calling attention to his gargantuan package but never giving a glimpse of the monster beneath. I used to place Jobe Zander up there in the rankings of most heartless tease in homoerotic wrestling until a helpful reader pointed out to me his “masterpiece” is unveiled in a solo jerk off appearance in Can-Am’s Hard Heroes title Troubled Tights (which I still need to see).  There are plenty of other homoerotic wrestlers who milk me/the suspense viciously with a cruel tease. Among them I count dreamy Rio Garza for that luxuriously hot body getting pummeled to a pulp repeatedly, but somehow never losing his trunks, and pendulous Pretty Pete Sharp who, like Mr. J, sports a mammoth bulge that screams, SCREAMS for someone to grab hold with both hands (it’s a two fister, for sure), but somehow, unbelievably, no one has.

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First glimpse of Ty Alexander and Kayden Keller (left) before their BG East debut a month later.

When it comes to the heartless tease, of course there are entire homoerotic companies that choose to wear that mantle by marketing primarily to the gay wrestling kink audience without ever explicitly acknowledging the homoeroticism they invoke.  I keep a candle lit that one day Rock Hard Wrestling and Thunder’s Arena, for example, will openly dive into the kink they tease, and I suppose the unrequited, underground wrestling tease is a marketing device for building and holding the tension, as we wait and wonder if they’ll step over the line finally.  From an entirely different angle, Our Man Inside (OMI) at BG East has been working the tease like no other for the past 6 months or so, sneaking out behind-the-scenes photos of BGE boys between matches, including previewing never-before-seen newbies yet to see the light of day in official release.  You may remember that’s how we “met” beautiful bon-bon Ty Alexander and smoldering heel-at-conception Kayden Keller.  Kid Leopard himself gave neverland an exclusive tease of BG East’s new Florida campus and, at the same time, previewed now established monster-muscle heel Lane Hartley and go-go boy extraordinaire, Kip Sorell.  Stroking the buzz ahead of release is a sweet moment in sex, and I for one think it has the potential to translate most excellently to the PR of homoerotic wrestling promotion as well.

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MDW teases us with handsome muscle hunk Mutant

New kids on the block, Muscle Domination Wrestling, have lubed up and are rubbing out an exquisitely tantalizing tease of a new addition to their roster, Mutant.  MDW’s VIP lounge members can peruse this incredible specimen of a muscle hunk in detail, and I’ve provided a few examples of Mutant’s beauty here as well.  Mutant is about 5’11” and 225 pounds of insanely hot, hard, low hanging muscle with lickable ink on his left pec, right upper arm, and right obliques.  Where do these stats come from, you might ask?  MDW hasn’t told us anything about Mutant yet.  But this isn’t Mutant’s first toe-dip into homoerotic wrestling.  He’s also battled down in Florida for Thunder’s Arena nearly ripping fantasy twink Tak’s head off in Battlespace 69 (which for the numbering, I was hoping for something much more explicit).

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Mutant looks like he can tease with the best of them.

I think there’s most definitely a place for tease-marketing, because I love getting my appetite whetted just enough to make me drool like a Mastiff every second until I can match up the reality to where my imagination has taken me.  I’m not so much a fan of entire tease companies walking the line, but a sweet preview to get our blood boiling like these shots from MDW are tons of fun. Please, oh please tell me that Mutant is about to meet hairy he-man Chace LaChance in a rip, strip, and oil barnburner.  Once Chace has made Mutant his bitch, please let’s see a daddy/boy tag team against just about anyone, but I’d give my left nut for it to be Muscle Master Kevin and an obedient Damien Rush.  Just the thought of what might be is getting me very hot and bothered.  See what a skillful tease can do!?

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Thumbs down his trunks, Mutant teases plenty more to come!