So there I was, packed like a sardine into a Manhattan hotel room with 30+ gorgeous wrestling hunks, trying my best to resist the impulse to start stroking and, instead, to keep the camera pointed at the action in the ring. Part 2 of Sir Dark’s Watchfighters Rumble Match opens with four hot hunks left from the first half of the field. Masked Machine, Red Adrian, Chris Collins, and Alex the Great were still in the running to have a shot at winning this non-stop line up of some of the hottest and fiercest wrestlers in attendance at Wrestlefest NYC. Then the 17th entrant struts onto the mat, and my ability to resist dropping the camera and just jerking off then and there was sorely tested. Fuck. Beau Fucking Jordan. FUCK, this man owns the full throttle erotic end of the homoerotic wrestling pool these days. He made it to the final three of Sir Dark’s Rumble Match 1 in Toronto last year, and holy fuck, I am constantly breathless watching him, waiting to see if someone’s going to be submitted by this stunning muscle man or, perhaps, face fucked by him. I’m totally on board, either way.

Beau is unhurried, always cocky. Just casually wraps up Alex the great, leans back against the wall, and crushes the fuck out of Alex with headscissors. Adrian and Chris double team Masked Machine, and again, I just have to say, Chris Collins is fucking fearless. If anyone is about to count out a lightweight in a rumble like this, I warn you: do not count out buck-and-a-quarter Chris Collins. The eighteenth entrant is already cuing up though, and the bodies are piling up, and you know the shit is about to get seriously crazy when Sir Dark finally clocks into the match. “Bitches, daddy’s here,” he screams, before launching himself like a missile onto Alex the Great’s gut while Beau keeps casually leaning back with Alex’ masked head stuck between his thighs.

As I mentioned in my review of the Rumble Match Part 1, one of the challenges I discovered in trying to video record in this context was proximity. There was just not a lot of room at the margins of the mats, so framing some wrestlers standing, others flat out on the mat, the action stretched from corner to corner, was just impossible. And Sir Dark is all over the place, joining double and triple teams, stomping and stretching, up and down. See my many prior comments about just how sexy it is watching the blinding chaos of Sir Dark doing what he does best. Also, I’m seriously, seriously, seriously having a hard time containing myself when Chris Collins decides he’s going to try to take out Beau. Fuck, now that’s a sensational pairing!

Chase Addams gets counted into the mix next. Chase looks fucking sensational. He immediately locks horns with Sir Dark, which seems like a combustible combination. The bitter scrap between the two of them fights for attention with Beau, casually cranking on face-to-crotch headscissors on Masked Machine, resting his head on his hands like this is a day at the beach. Honestly, I feel like Beau could sell tickets for that ride next year and have us lined up around the block.

The next competitor to clock in is SilverFlex. Talk about here comes hot daddy! He’s got history against Sir Dark, so maybe that explains why he launches in the rumble host without skipping a beat. There’s just so fucking much eye candy, there’s no way I can do it justice, but I will say that Chase sitting on Beau’s face in a foldover pin and spanking Beau’s magnificent ass is my new desktop wallpaper.

Next to clock in is Nick Lean. I’d seen this hottie before online, but suddenly I was bumping into him everywhere at Wrestlefest NYC, starting with watching him literally leap into the fray and joining SilverFlex in going to town on Sir Dark’s gut. It felt like maybe there were bragging rights to be had for being the one to knock the host out of his own rumble. Regardless, Nick Lean was fucking gorgeous, with this sly opportunism about him. He’s practically high-fiving Silverflex for their intense double-team on Sir Dark, and the next second, Nick has leapt on Silverflex’ back and rolled him into a rear naked choke. Also, I want Nick’s trunks. And his ass.

Next to clock into the rumble is Canadian pretty boy, Ryan Reilly. Fuck, he’s such a boy-next-door-waiting-to-get-owned. Honestly, I’m a little worried about him, but then again, I was a little worried about Chris Collins, and he was a fucking rabid ferret in this rumble earlier. Ryan immediately hones in on Nick, which makes total sense to me. There’s the chaos corner of the mat with Sir Dark pulling down his trunks and planting his naked ass on Chase’s face, and the calculated corner with SilverFlex and Ryan having their way with spankable Nick.

SleeperMuscle clocks into the rumble hot and furious. Shockingly, he’s puts Sir Dark out in an instant with a rear naked choke, and I’m making a note that I need to find out more about this doe-eyed daddy who can take out the likes of Sir Dark looking like he’s barely trying. English pretty boy MPJ is counted into the fray next, immediately sinking his claws into Chase, which I still think is, honestly, the best bet here. Chase is just fucking dangerous, and unless you’ve got some heavyweight hitters on the mat, these middleweights better keep their eye on Chase.

Well, speaking of heavyweight hitters, welcome to the fray The Swiss Menace, Leon Cyrus. Fuck, the center of gravity shifts in an instant when Leon takes the mat. There’s mayhem for a while with bodies rolling on top of one another like a boiling pot of water, and it’s hard to tell what’s happening to whom. Chase gets a face full of The Swiss Menace’s ass, though, and Leon clearly sets his sites on taking out the perennial badboy.

Entrant #26 into the rumble is a quickly growing obsession for me, AlexxWrestler. I named AlexxWrestler my pick for best legs of 2025, but this was the first time I’ve ever seen him in person. I got to see the incredibly sexy stud sans mask before the rumble started, and holy fuck, this guy is drop dead gorgeous. Hollywood gorgeous. Honestly, I’m now suspecting he wears a mask just to try to be fair to his opponents who would get completely distracted by his devastating good looks. Of course, with the mask on, he completely devastates opponents with that fucking gorgeous body and, in particular, those luscious, award winning legs. And, true to form, within seconds he’s got MPJ’s face buried in his ass in figure-4 headscissors, and there’s just no coming back from that. Fuuuuck, AlexxWrestler tauntingly flexes his glutes, cranking up the pressure and making MPJ’s adorable face flush beet red. Lucky fucker. Just to drive me completely fucking crazy, he then sits on MPJ’s face and gives himself a wedgie to really bury the Brit’s nose up there deep. Holy. Fuck.

Ronin clocks in right around the time that MPJ and Nick Lean have to tap out. So, there’s a sudden shift in momentum, with AlexxWrestler, Ryan, and Ronin only possibly managing a counterbalance to Leon’s dominating size advantage. There’s an attempt at ganging up on the mighty Swiss beast, but he’s too skilled, too strong, and just to fucking big for them to handle. That is, until Sadistic Sid Shaw clocks in, and immediately sizes up the biggest threat on the match. Sid makes pretty short work of The Swiss Menace and in the waning minutes of the rumble, I’ve got to think he could be the bad ass to beat, as he and Ronin double team drop-dead gorgeous AlexxWrestler.

Pot-stirrer Ethan Axel Andrews stomps onto the mat with something to say about that, though. It seems like just a minute later, Tattooed Menace clocks in like he’s hot on Ethan’s tail, and true enough, he launches into Ethan like Ethan had stolen his yogurt from the lunchroom fridge.

Honestly, I was there, and at this point I’m thinking, how many more stars in the wrestling sky can there be to count into this bedlam? Well, welcome Ben Monaco as rumble entrant #31 (or so… I’ve seriously lost count). Again, I’m sort of fascinated that Ben bee-lines directly onto Ethan. Like, he sort of shoves everyone else out of the way. Was Ethan talking shit and pissing guys off in the waiting area, or something? Tattoed Menace and Ronin wishbone Sid, and then Ben and Ethan recalculate the odds for a four-on-one bid to knock Sid out of the fray.

The lucky last entrant to the rumble is Rocko Mortis. Rocko is always a wild card, right? But coming in fresh as a daisy after 31 wrestlers have torn into each other before you has got to put you in the pole position for winning this whole wild ride, right? As I mentioned in my review of Rocko’s tag team match at Wrestlefest Live, which happened the following day after the rumble, Rocko is another chaos demon that brings the unhinged and unexpected. The final five go at each other with abandon. You can practically taste the excitement as they work to clear the table until the rumble title is going to go to just one of two remaining hopefuls.

The finale has an old school vs new school feel to it that’s mean and raw with the final two competitors beating the shit out of each other for the last 3 minutes. Who do you think won? Who do you think ought to have won? Who do you absolutely have to see more of, now that you’ve savored this massive sampler plate of homoerotic wrestling talent bearing down on each other for nearly an hour? The scope of this somehow amazes me even more, now that I’m watching the recording, than it did when I was standing right there with camera in hand. One wrestler in the mix made a comment to me afterward, that getting all of these men on board for this ambitious project is a testimony to the sincere respect and affection so many have for Sir Dark. I saw that, as well as a ton of affection pretty much all of these guys have for each other and the joy of suiting up and going at each other.

Check it out. The entire two-part rumble is sensational and sexy and a pure showcase of homoerotic wrestling talent that deserves to be celebrated!