So here I am, stumbling aimlessly around the house mumbling to myself: “Where’s Bill?” … “Sam’s pecs…” … “Will I ever get to see Alexander Skarsgård and Ryan Kwanten in a sticky, rough sex scene together?” I’m feeling True Blood withdrawals already, and they’re bad.
My dealer, HBO, knows how dull the sharp edges, though. Promos for Dexter, Season 4 are everywhere. And while Dexter doesn’t have the depth on the bench that True Blood does, fresh scenes of sexy, sweaty serial-killer Dexter Morgan will certainly help ease the pain.
Michael C. Hall has the formula for locking in a gay audience, I think. Mix one part break-out adorable gay character role… three parts smoking hot sexy sociopath in sweaty, skin-tight homicidal gear, and two parts of that jaw-dropping bubble butt (one part for each fabulous cheek). That’s the formula for earning my lustful worship, at least.
It took me a few seasons to warm up to his character on Six Feet Under, but eventually I got there. There was something totally disarming about his portrayal of a nerdy, insecure, not-so-long-ago closet-case who’s also a total slut puppy with hardbodied studs throwing themselves at him.
But as Dexter, Michael C. Hall had me from the opening credits (why do I find it so sexy watching him floss?). And frankly, there’s something completely sick (in a kinky that’s-disturbingly-hot way), that Hall just married the woman who plays his sister on Dexter. Clearly, Michael beefed up after SFU to take this solo-lead in Dexter. Thank GOD this whole thing is set in Miami, requiring Dexter to be perpetually pitted out and sweat soaked where the center of his chest meets the collar of his shirt (I just felt a shudder!). Someone understands their audience, with not infrequent scenes of Michael C. Hall shirtless, though they’ve yet to fully unleash the wonder that is his astoundingly round ass. Hall must have it in his contract not to show too much skin below the waist (we get just the barest glimpse around episodes 6 & 7 of season 2). Someone needs to put some more money on the table so that we can all marvel at Michael’s finest feature!!!
My obsession with Dexter, like my obsession with True Blood, inspired an appearance by Michael C. Hall in my celebrity wrestling fiction (his ass features prominently… so to speak). I wouldn’t be surprised if he showed up for another match in the Producer’s Ring this autumn. So as I detox off of True Blood, I’m already getting an anticipatory rush from the approach of Dexter Morgan back into my life. Eric Northman, Dexter Morgan… why am I so addicted to gorgeous, heartless killers?
Sidelineland 