From a Distance

Despite my ambivalence about MMA action and its frequent dabbling in
homophobic vomit, I keep coming across more and more MMA boys making me salivate (that’s a distasteful mixed metaphor, but I’m keeping it).

My twin-separated-at-birth, Joe at Ringside at Skull Island, recently asked us to consider how a match up between ultimate fighters Matt Riddle and Eric Bradley might play out. I have no idea what these guys really bring to the table regarding who comes out on top, but in my imagination, I can’t see a scuffle between these two guys ending without Riddle engaged in serious pec worship on Bradley (the pec tat decides the tale of the tape for me).
Tattooed Hunks is putting up some beautifully tatted, fierce looking boys, but sadly I have no idea who they are. This serious looking fella has some gorgeous, colorful ink on his arms. I would really enjoy the opportunity to help him out of his gloves… etc.
This shaved head brute (let’s call him Sigma Boy), looks like he’s got massive back ink and the jawbone of a gorilla. Whatever he’s doing with his hands, I’m up next!
And speaking of being up next, I would pay money for the ride that the pale dude is taking here. The massive beast with his opponent clamped to his throat and back squeezing the life out of him… that’s seriously sweet. I hope once the tat boy is knocked out, his opponent takes some time to closely inspect the artwork.
This guy has amazing coverage. The amount of time in the chair represented by that canvas is incredible. Personally I’d like to see some color, and the sheer size of those pec tats actually obscures what looks like decent muscle. But who the hell am I kidding? I’d worship that… particularly in his undies.

Okay. That’s about as much as I can take of MMA. The commentary, the interviews… they always end up just making me feel ashamed to have a Y chromosome. But I’m more than happy for other happy hunters to cherry pick the beauties for me to admire. Thanks!

One thought on “From a Distance

  1. Preach it, twin-boy. Though I'm not sure that mma homophobia is much worse than what you hear at the golf course, tennis courts, Washington conference rooms, Hollywood soundstages, and 80% of the pulpits on Sunday morning. And when Sigma's done with you, it's my turn …

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